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akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Work as an excuse Posted: 10/17/2009 6:39:15 AM
well, that depends, doesn't it. being self employed...work is either coming in like crazy....other times, it is slack..or, it is non existent. When the work is there...I usually must go go go like a pack mule, to counterbalance the softer times. I am particular and resposible about my work...I'm not sure if I would use the word 'obsessed' though. Actually, I think work takes up waaaay too much time for most of us, and can affect the balance of things. Hey, I wish we all didn't have to work so much and so hard...but...what does that mean_in the big picture? probably nothing. but, OK... the question. If I am in a period of a lot of work, it is just how it is....it is not an excuse for anything. An excuse? for what? not seeing someone or some people? and spending enough time? Well, anyone that knows me, or anyone who has a handle on acceptance, not just of me, but of how life is at times, will somehow 'understand' that..or at least try to. Those that don't understand, or won't...probably won't, that's their reaction. their prerogative ..humans are entitled to react however they feel they need to. damn money...we all need it.....and probably we all have questioned at times why it is such a large part of this fleeting life. regards, Kimbo

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 44 (view)

is he a womanizer? Posted: 10/17/2009 5:54:37 AM
well, there are indeed men who are womanizers and, there are men who 'imagine' themselves as great womanizers. this man sounds to me like he falls into the second category like so many men, he 'thinks' he is 'all that'. and that's fine, he can think anything he wants to think to bolster his opinion of himself. the problematic part, is why he spews his particular brand of bull sh i t on you all of the time And....why you continue to take it?? I'm not you, but if I were in your place, I'd certainly tell him that his constant references to other women makes you more than uncomfortable. time to call him on his s h i t. He actually sounds a bit insecure and childish. regards, ~Kimbo

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 53 (view)

Starting Over and Over Again Posted: 10/15/2009 5:34:22 AM
My heart keeps getting stomped on. I will admit that maybe I tend to smother a little but I just get wrapped up in the relationship and love spending time with the woman that I love. All humans want, or perhaps crave attention and desire. This is normal/ All people also need room to move, their own air to breathe Any answers to your quandary is in your post....when you smother a child, a woman, anyone, they feel as if they can't breathe, and will make desperate attempts to just 'get some air'. You're smothering them, pal. but, it can be worked on..and worked out with the right gal.... the keyword is around 'balance' good luck Kimbo

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 203 (view)

Going from Hi to bed?????? Posted: 10/11/2009 5:44:02 AM
NOPE, we women think about SEX A LOT MORE THAN DUDES! Any male stupid enough to take a woman out without stating he wants 'to go dutch' is asking for it with so many 'tramps' for sale. SEX IS EASYm the philosophical union is the challenge! There you have it folks..... more support for what I already know....from living it and seeing it.....this coming from a 23 year old woman? (kissmekindsir, a few up from me) It's right on.....her whole response...not sure if it's a real profile, because the words are too wise and mature...or so it 'seems' from such a young lady. I must be the odd one then...looking for that spiritual and philosophical and funny bone union. yeah...I think it's like 10 to 1 ratio ....chicks just wanna get laid, that's the bottom line..it's all I see ....guys are taking the heat for being fcukin' pigs, and they are the ones now looking for substance. good post... carry on Kimbo ~

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 45 (view)

Do I tell the other guy she's cheating him as well? Posted: 10/6/2009 6:35:10 PM
Well, that's quite a globe trotting and long distance thing you had goin' there guy, so there was a lot of time in between for some ugliness to surface. you write: <div class="quote"> I'm tempted to post on her profile the question " Why the hell was she declaring her love for me and in my bed last week when she's meant to be in a relationship with his Sean for the past month"! Yes, there are some that must puke up bile when they are wronged, or 'believe' that they are....but it really takes a chunk out of your own self esteem and your own Karma to take seconds of your precious time to bother slammin' her. She's already slammed. There is long distance, and then, there is unbridgeable distance. This is one of those relationships that was obviously doomed for quite a while....and while your girl may feel pretty hot and loose right now, she'll be more bereft and lonely than you ever could imagine, once old Sean baby gets done tappin' her asssz. Let your dignity rise above words of hurt and impunity. She hurt you brother, keep that in mind....and there is no need to dwell on it, or pine for someone that pulled your hat down over your eyes so fcukn hard. She's no good woman to you, so forget,forgive,accept, move on. best to you Kimbo

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 112 (view)

I'm on the couch ! Posted: 9/30/2009 12:40:49 PM
Did you ever have kids, dude. My ex had three cesarean sections, I slept on the couch for a while..a good long while, and took care of the kids/babies......to give her the rest she needed, for as long as it took, a small price to pay for the tiredness and pain she suffered from bringing our three wonderful boys into this world. She's dismissing 'your' needs. Aww....you poor fcukn' basterd. I feel for you. Hey, I travel around a lot, and just passed four stores that sell pocket p uss y's. Send me your address and I'll be more than happy to send you one....and seal the envelope with anthrax for ya. yeah, go now, guy, so she can find a guy with a more developed skull to spend the rest of her life with' Kimbo

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

What's wrong with this situation? Posted: 9/28/2009 6:34:46 PM
I am going crazy here because she can't think for herself. Charlie....write this line down......and paste it on your fridge. I mean....I've read it a couple of times...and when it finally hits you....you'll go...jeezuz H. Christ, what is my problem? it's all in those words, buddy. you are going crazy trying to guess or understand another human's thought process totally. What are you, Kreskin?...a Seer ?. A mind reader? Well, you're driving yourself insane over this one dude.....so, if you want to keep going that way, then you will, until you finally get the whack from the proverbial 2x6 across the temples that brings you to your fcukin' knees. Move in with a guy roommate for now forget Little Miss Strange. take your life back....it's yours, friend. nobody else's....to own or play with. 'c'mon now. Kimbo

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

What’s your secret to success?? Posted: 9/28/2009 6:15:21 PM
the best advice? Probably not to just cold email a ton of ladies looking for a date...or trying to come up with a clever first note. I've meet a lot of good people on here, and quite a few from this site in person, and in almost every single case, I've noticed them in the forums, or read something by them in the forums, or they read something by me , or noticed me in the forums as well, and that started more conversations toward friendship. If you're just throwing darts into pictures of different women as you scroll through the pages on the dating part of this web site...that is extremely hit or miss....very chancy and haphazard. Just like in real life, it's fun to hear what people have to say....and how they express themselves, Meet people through the forums. words bring out another dimension of a person. Hope that helps Kimbo~~

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 32 (view)

how to let him down easy Posted: 9/28/2009 6:03:20 PM
Hmmm.....well, OK. As optimystic as you want to sound, (lol, ) here's the thing. I don't think it's really a matter of trying to come up with an 'easy ' way to let him down vs. a 'hard' way to let him down. I think the problem is gonna be getting the big dumb bast a rd out of your house. Know what I mean, bean? Betcha he's pretty comfy there, and even if ya tell some guys...they might go.."Yeah, yeah', whatever....we'll talk about it." On the bright side, having him there, every day, over the next year or so.... while your life vibration and light gets sucked from every corpuscle of your body, 'will' be a good reminder about not having 'the One's" move in so quickly next time. waitaminit though..... Hey...maybe he'll 'change'... good luck Kimbo !

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 53 (view)

need to drink alcohol to enjoy sex? Posted: 9/26/2009 3:05:10 PM
I don't REALLY "blind em"... What the heck kinda guy ya think I am..?? ....says Soldierbyte I know eggzactly what kindof a guy you are Byte, and helI, I still like ya.....hahaha. hey, especially that last pic in your profile wit' the headband on damn, man...... any guy that looks the doppleganger of a tormented Willem Defoe gotta love it. gotta know somethin' is goin on there.... there's a screw loose somewhere withchu' ummm.....and I mean that in a 'good' way peace Kimbo

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 45 (view)

need to drink alcohol to enjoy sex? Posted: 9/26/2009 10:47:59 AM
^ Byte, ^ I don't give seminars anymore, I don't know anything, anymore than any other voice, really, I do have thoughts that come out..and, I do believe there is some truth in what everyone says...here , there and everywhere, 'some' truth ...yep, that's all I know. Not the whole truth, nobody knows that, we're not supposed to know that...shhhhhh! yeah, I was married most of my life way over half of my natural life {and the first 10 years or more, I was just busy being a kid, y'know} LoL. I gave being married up for Lent , one year, and never looked back and , I'm not even fcuking religious, but I was that year. ** And, OK...what else, ...oh , how do I know about women and their sexual needs and desires??? Listen...that's all geeezuz....easy as pie. you have ears, right? they talk..they tell ya stuff. Pay attention, you don't have to blind anyone, my brother regards Kimbo

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

need to drink alcohol to enjoy sex? Posted: 9/26/2009 10:16:44 AM
thass ridikulos, daffie! Women are 'rediscovering ' sex at mid life, after years of being separated, or tolerating 'unacceptable ' behavior from their ex's.....you know, what'ever particular brand of torment or victimization they are portraying that day. they may still be bunched up and bitter...some....not all and that always calls for some good ol' alcohol. Women just are more horny in mid life , let's face it, because they have kept themselves in a state of suspended animation, sexually for years at a time.. ....while men have been getting their ya' ya's out to the point of...'eh!.....who really cares anymore. There is so much more to get outta life now, finally, at last..than a wet spot......why revert back to being a lizard in our wise years? ya know? It's not our fault you haven't been laid enough, Daff, k? { not you, personally, Daffie, but the general grouping of 'you girls who need a couple of drinks to do push ups on it', OK?} I don't drink....so I don't 'need' to drink to set the scene, for a 'hot session'...as you say, it's either hot...or it's not. Actually, it's like most everything in life, ya know..50/50....I like to give even odds to things in Life. That way, one is not negative, nor are they a Pollyanna> a good place to be....an observer, witness, of the Gift.. ANYWAY... I just need to know exactly why I'm doing it...and how much it is eventually going to cost at this point. The emotional toll ......is it gonna balance all of the gyrating, bending , twisting, and pretending.... ? ? that's all hope that helps Kimbo ~

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

Long Story - What to do Posted: 9/24/2009 9:37:58 AM
long story..same old story it's really simple though, I go with what Liona said earlier on ....ther e is still a rather big X in the equation.....you can be the best dude in the world to this gal, and it sounds like you're trying to remind her of that.......a lot.......but, she's still got somethin' goin with the X....doesn't she? And , Landra raised some good points...what the helI is this X doing at home.....when she arrives from a date? Is he in the bushes....living in the spare bedroom? Too weird, too dramatic, ya know. she is so tied to her X it isn't funny KImbo

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

What do you do when your EX-GF callls after 14 months? Posted: 9/24/2009 6:39:51 AM
it's really not that strange, if you think about it OP. The mind is programmed to go where it once felt safe and warm and OK. Now, the only thing that is causing you to think this is strange, is that Im guessing you don't have, or aren't' involved in a new relationship yet. If you were, You could easily see that this would not be a good idea, to dine and dance with your ex. But, if you are available, and she knows that, it will only be a matter of time and you'll be dancin' again alright......between the sheets. You gotta think of what will work for you.....If it feels like the one and only chance to get back with your favorite love, then you're gonna do it anyway. If she's going to use you as a pitstop until the next mr. Right comes along again, ....well, then you're just really a masochist and setting yourself up for a heap of hurtin' again. Kimbo

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

is this b.s? Posted: 9/23/2009 11:19:24 AM
Whatever happens is real.....it might not be what we think it should be, but if it's 'happening'....it's real. I think a lot of people want connection...but a certain amount I think a lot of people chase relationship, and when they get it, don't know quite what to do with it. sure, a lot of the stuff he's saying sounds a bit on the cliche' side, but, maybe he's just not that bright or inventive enough to be clear when he speaks. Also........ Don't forget, we sometimes elevate our view of someone a good 30% to 40% over what they actually are when your eyes are first bugging out of your freaking head over this dude. ( I know, I got the possessive cases all fcuked up in that last sentence, lol) It sounds like he likes you, likes a lot of parts about you, can't help himself around you, but is heading off any possible plans of 'your's' about you and him getting too damm close, that's all. Kimbo

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 59 (view)

Boyfriend wants a break..Help! Posted: 9/23/2009 10:00:42 AM
I don't think it's because the guy doesn't know what he wants.....as Vanity (a few up ^) said, it sounds like he is quite sure that he wants a break. That's pretty clear. I' m sure it hurts to hear, because, it doesn't sound very warm....very 'fuzzy'. But, the truth is, you've had more of an off rather than an 'on' relationship anyway, right? and, yeah, usually one doesn't want the break..as you say....or, things just sort of fizzle and die...but, that's not what's happened here..............yet! But, it might. You sound like you are in the Dead Zone now..that zone of checking his FB and MS Page daily to check on his 'status'. One day, that may change. Then, you'll know what he meant about taking a break. You know, it sounds like the long distance, and the travel, and all of the down time are not working for this guy, my boogie. You , of course, can never tell how things will turn...but, it sounds like it is the beginning of his turning away....from you.......if you want to know. So...what's goin on in your life?......anything?......I mean, besides 'the Guy'...??? Kimbo you'll be alright

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

A timely reminder Prostate Cancer Posted: 9/23/2009 7:57:26 AM
Thanks for the tip OP Usually, a PSA blood test can pick up any anomalies not too costly.....and many places have free prostate screeningmobiles coming to a town near you.,....use 'em, especially if you happen to be one of the 50 million or so Americans who can't go to a doctor because of having no insurance card. I say, well...I've had this nagging pain about three quarters down my back inside, but I think I got it cutting firewood, ........ Heartune wrote this last part it's often the first presenting sign...unusual back pain...also, why most guys don't go, they think they were overexercising...or underexercising....sitting too long. It's why Frank Zappa went to the doc.......back pain....PC killed him within two years yeah guys got a lot of this weird internal quiet stuff goin on...and plus, guys don't like to go to the doctor every other week like women 'seem' to....so go guys.. .who's gonna take care of you? Kimbo

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Starting to get sick of sex... how do I make him want me like crazy again? Posted: 9/23/2009 6:33:13 AM
It sounds like you've covered a lot of the bases.... short of doing it in the car, at the beach, on the road, in the road, on the roof, on the front porch at night, in the yard, on the bridge, with a couple of friends, with a video camera....etc....etc....I got hundreds of 'em. I don't know...you can be creative as helI, eh? but if he's tapped...he's tapped. Sounds like he was a great long distance lover. LDL up close and personal...ummm....not so much well, take comfort what's gotten old to some, is brand new to someone else. and yes, the relationship 'is' deteriorating what we often insist is rare and great is sometimes commonplace and mediocre....at best. it may be coming apart....and down to that. Reality helps here. You're more sexual than he is.... the more you try to get him to swing harder, the more he shies away...this is the strange paradox of this situation when it comes to men. Try some of those things I mentioned in the first paragraph see if any of that helps regards Kimbo~~

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 31 (view)

Guys must bother women who aren't interested? Posted: 9/22/2009 6:57:49 PM
No, I don't think guys have to be irritating to ensure the survival of the species, my friend. Persistent, maybe. Irritating. lol....yer funny. I do think that women are bombarded a lot more than guys with dumb shIT in their mailboxes, I'll agree there. I don't see women writing as much stupid stuff. It's just their nature ...to not do that. And....really, you don't have a clue if a woman is interested in you...or not? really? That seems odd to me. Usually, one can tell 'fairly quickly, especially after running the gauntlet of all of the girls who clearly 'aren't interested......lol. See, I don't get this. Its like...if there are a hundred girls who aren't interested in you...and then one girl is....you really can't see that one that is? hhuh......weird. You'll have to elaborate on that one some time. OK...carry on KImbo~~

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Red Flags? Posted: 9/22/2009 6:08:38 PM
oh, and while you're reworking the profile remove this line too : I will always go on dates prior to any sexual activities I mean, that's just wrong...on so many levels. I'm not a girl, and I couldn't even figure out WTF that means. whew Kimbo

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

How did he think? Posted: 9/22/2009 5:44:18 PM
Ohhh...I see...you just wanted to see ....to be sure that he would 'want' to pursue you Even though you have more than indicated that he doesn't do anything 'for' you, not your dream guy. Don't be alarmed, it's just your Ego talkin' loud...that's all. It has nothing to do with him. Oh...and He already knows it has nothing to do with him.... that's why he doesn't give a rats a s s about pursuing you. Smart guy... Kimbo

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 52 (view)

Is it healthy to check out other people online when your dating someone? Posted: 9/22/2009 3:08:38 PM
It over and were done I am a strong person and will make the best of it now It's over? Wow, that was fast. What is it, about you that you learned.....fft....why is it over? what did you find out about relationship what made you end it? what was the final weight? wondering? Kimbo

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 40 (view)

Patrick Swayze's view of relationship/love Posted: 9/22/2009 3:02:29 PM
that was pretty good about Kanye stealin' Swayze's Thunder at his own funeral, Stormwolf....gottta say Yeah, well, we hear about the good stuff from the high profilers in our society....and we also learn a lot of abhorrent behavior from the high flyers. I think Patrick Swayze was indeed a good man, who 'got' it...whatever it ..is. He was a husband , lover, father..first..then he was an actor..who spent most of his life wanting to live down the 'hunk' factor...even though, he is a hunk, by all Hunk Standards available, I don't think anyone would argue that. I read that in the checkout aisle a few days ago. Insider Exclusive. K? So, what about the bazillions of others' who aren't' high profile actors, or good ones that died young. ? I have some personal hero's a lot closer to me....in my own family. Parents married 61 years this month.....holy Shnikes, can you even 'imagine' that? I can't ! And they are my own parents. Geeeeez........ I guess I should be asking them about how they kept it fresh. Wellll..here's one thing I do know...they are realists. We have come to 'imagine" what makes a good relationship today....we want fresh, exciting...we want to bungee jump off of the Love pinnacle with our lover every single day. Most humans live a vivid fantasy life inside of their very own heads, eh? And...we WILL not settle for less..NFW...no fcukin way......which, to me, just means, a lot of people are gonna be dyin' alone , wrinkled, despondent, and incontinent, and it will probably take weeks before anybody even notices and finds the old shriveled ass bodies...hahaha Ahhh..the age of entitlement, ya gotta love it. ME ME ....oh...more Me.? OK? ahhh well, that's a nice little blurb from Patrick , actually, thanks for sharin it, OP KImbo ps. ooops, gotta go, and text somebody about something that just happened to ME...seeya bye

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 46 (view)

Is it healthy to check out other people online when your dating someone? Posted: 9/22/2009 2:24:14 PM
Not this same freaking thread again.....aiiiiighhhhh. Ok...here's my last clue...aigh't? You can't TELL another person who to talk to, or when to talk to them You can't TELL another person anything......they will do as they will do. That is not a relationship that is Ownership.....and a big big reason why many of us are not married any more, or with anyone anymore, right? Ya wanna be Loved, or do you wanna be owned? You see what I'm gettin at here.? I'm serious, it's a good question. Do you wanna be loved, or do you wanna be owned? the distinction is obviously confusing to many humans. OP..you're pissedd...you are soooo pissst the fcuk off.You left Livid waaaay in the dust, ai'ght......so don't even bother us with the 'I'm open minded' drivel...deal? Now..here's a good way to circumvent the whole 'Trust' issue in this relationship. And, other's too...y'all pay attention, K?...... Gouge his eyes out with an Icepick, and when he is sleeping, cut off his hands so he can't type anymore. Then, it will just be you and him...and Love's free will.....eh? Ah....love Why is it so confusing when you put a leash around yer boy. "Here Boy...'c'mon now....Come to your sweet bad ass chick. Yer' Funny Kimbo ~~

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

phone calls. Posted: 9/22/2009 1:10:24 PM
you know, it's baffled me too....but about women throughout the years saying....'let's get together:", and then they hide. I think it's just a nicety, and we read too much into it all at times. Sortof like when someone sees you at the store and says...."How are You? Do you think they really want to hear every detail about how your life is really going? nahhh.....people want the cliffs note version....."Im great, and YOU? ME? Fcukn' great"..see..there's a conversation right there. ! today, since everyone has a phone glued to the end of their hand, it might seem pretty normal to say..."Hey, let me punch your number in, and I'll call you sometime." Soooo.....instead of being baffled about who doesn't call.... Pay attention to those who do call and do keep in touch with you That's where the real stuff lives Kimbo ~~~

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 31 (view)

how long to wait??????? Posted: 9/22/2009 11:32:17 AM
Yeah, and by Xmas time, she still won't have her shIt together, betcha? So, they'll set a new 'move out ' date...maybe....oh...by Easter of 2010. You ain't ridin' around the cul de sac baby, you've hit the dead end. I'd never be with a person who is still living with their 'ex'. Nope, don't need that drama, thank you very much Hey....... You don't like the situation? simple...make like a 'gazelle'....and run out of it. Kimbo ~~

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

father daughter relationship Posted: 9/22/2009 10:46:11 AM
Ya just can't 'always' play the sexual abuse card. You just can't. I don't have a daughter, but knowing how fast my sons grew up, I wish I could hug them again. HelI, I still hug my sons when I see them....and want to cuddle them again. Even though they all have me by about five inches, and could crush my head like a fcukin' grape, they are big boys....hahahaha. the Bio Dad and his love for his daughter isn't the problem the Stepfather sounds like he could use a major slapdown (or worse), though. and yeah, the woman married this tool, this happens a lot It's really a stretch to blame the Bio Dad, or the daughter for the mistakes of the Mother. Kimbo~

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Mixed signals Posted: 9/22/2009 10:02:17 AM
Almost every living breathing human is looking for 'connection'. Here is yet another example of why Fcuk Buddy relationships are vastly illusion. One will always develop more feelings than the other over a given period of time. You're kidding yourself, and you already know it...or else, you wouldn't have 'tried' to end it a couple of times. When that 'buddy', pulls up his pants and leaves you lying there, he is like a thief in the night. result: you end up feeling like a used paper towel that he discards without reflection. Every woman I have known, who waves the FWB flag high has 'some' very real intimacy issues. How do I know this? Well, they have told me so. In more ways than one. In my opinion, it is wrong to 'use' another human in a quest to satisfy primal urges I'm not saying it can't work....but it's empty shIt baby Got an itch.....? that's what hands and dildos are for. Think I'm full of ShIt? Read the forums. Everyone is looking for Love and respect and reciprocity. Find that.....great sex will always follow. Always. not sometimes. Oh sure, every now and again on here, you get the FWB supporters chirping in. About how wonderful it is. But, in general, a Fcuk Buddy relationship is like a dull knife It just ain't cuttin' it. Kimbo ~~

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

He/She Still Loves Them & has Pics - Can You Handle It? Posted: 9/22/2009 9:39:30 AM
I hear what you're sayin, Nap. After a certain amount of time passes, and acceptance kicks in, our minds are usually programmed to go back in and remember the good things. This is healthy. Hanging on to the negative......not so healthy. Often, love doesn't end because the relationship did. Although, in just as many cases, the love does indeed end because the relationship did. We put the pictures away.....for 'us'. Not for other people Nap. Eventually, we may dust them off, and go....I really loved her/ I really loved him at one time. That's when you know, you're gonna be alright. But, I don't think it's always a good idea to fly pictures of your ex like a flag in the face of your current love. Every living being deals with some issues of insecurity. Some deal better than others. You speak in terms of 'ideals' Life and feelings, especially around the issues of relics, are not always 'ideal' Save your memories in a special place for you...hopefully , in your heart Kimbo ~~

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

I think ex girlfriend wants more than friendship Posted: 9/21/2009 7:27:26 PM
Just from reading what you wrote here, guy, Yes, you are MOST definitely setting yourself up to being hurt ....again. ya know, Hurt doesn't feel any better the second time. It feels exactly the same as the first....maybe even a little worse, I would say. Oh, it's possible to be friends with an ex...in some cases, but it's pretty rare, really .....and if it does happen, you gotta let a little time go by. take a breather Kimbo ~~

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

some advice please Posted: 9/21/2009 7:00:34 PM
geezus H., what a stew. well, I don't know, for starters, you might wanna ask Michelle why she felt sick to her stomach when she slept with Mark.? just sayin' Hope that helps Kimbo~~

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 116 (view)

Have relationships made you bitter? Posted: 9/21/2009 6:53:58 PM
haha...no...no young Tye....relationships, POF, have not made me bitter about life. How sad would that be? Fairy tales?....well, we all probably stopped believing in them a long time ago. Missteps, blunders in the dating game, the relationship game? who hasn't made them.? I know that I have. yet...... I've actually learned a lot from relationships. Mostly, that none of us 'really' captain our own ships When we think that we are the captains.....ouch...lookout! Life throws some heavy shIt at you , from time to time.... people throw you curve balls... you get sharper you let go of the fairy tales and then you go..."Aha"....Guess what?....we all have issues......well, how about that? hmmm. live, learn, accept, forgive, grow. regards Kimbo ~~

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 59 (view)

Flakey Girl after the 3rd date.. Opinions please?!?! Posted: 9/21/2009 5:15:35 PM
christ, just reading your posting ...I got vertigo, dude. I mean, I understand what a lot of people are saying, ummm...'specially the girls......people have lives...people get busy...people cancel. Usually, I just take that kind of stuff in stride, you know, it's life stuff. But yet, you have a 'feelin' that something is amiss. Something is wrong....that she is, indeed , flaking out on you. I'd go with that feeling. You're wanting her to squeeze you in to her schedule more, and she either can't...or doesn't really want to....that's what it sounds like to me...... C'mon, guys know this . You can just feel it. I'm not you, but what I would do is what another poster suggested....send her a message. Like this: "You seem to be busy.....I understand...call me when you have a free day." then....do 'your' life It's always pretty futile to sit there and try to 'figure' out what she's thinking, or doing, or not doing , especially this early in the game. best to you Kimbo ~~~

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

The POSITIVE relationship.... Posted: 9/21/2009 5:36:12 AM
Good communication, good sex, good problem solving together, good times, laughter, fun and comfort. **** Come to think of it whenever someone utters this psycho-babblish "oh , just think positive" stuff I often feel like puking. I hear you Mizz Positive...ummmm....errrr, Ms. Realist It's like when someone describes the relationship they've never had, or known,,,....you know....'good communication, good sex, good problem solving together, good times...laughter , fun and comfort.......I feel like hurling too. yer funny aaanyway..... I love Mondays ooops...hope that wasn't too fcuking positive seeya.... Kimbo

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 51 (view)

Texting over Calling or Both?? Posted: 9/20/2009 7:44:31 PM
[Texting over Calling or Both?? ( Hmmm, OK.....results so far Pro Texting: 55% Anti Texting 32% Both are OK 11% 2% either not clear enough in their answer, or , repeated postings by the same person trying to make sure that all of us fcukin' dummies heard them the first time. Kimbo ~~ 'g'nite.

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

why wandering away? Posted: 9/20/2009 6:47:04 PM
It happens. He...ummm.....decided the relationship was over....but just forgot to mention that to you. It's called rudeness., Pure and Simple. In my experience, I have found that when things don't work out., there is usually some discussion around it. It's not always pleasant, you don't always get to hear what you want to hear, but as a rule, most humans talk to one another about stuff like this. forget him Kimbo ~~

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

pof ethics...not sure if this has been asked before Posted: 9/20/2009 6:39:12 PM
well, it's a coincidence that you are both talking to the same guy, and he's fishin' with the both of you BUT.... the key words in your post Millchick, are....."A couple of days ago" It's probably safe to assume that people might be chatting with a couple of different people on here. Hell, that's how we all get to know one another a li'l bit. lol. Now, this would be a different post if you said.....My Boyfriend of One Year is messaging my girlfriend and exchanging numbers with her.oh, waitaminit...now that one.."THAT" has been done to death.... it's only a couple of days new....what 'rules' could there possibly be around that. You've discussed it with your girlfriend? Then, that's all that matters, is how the both of you feel about it. regards Kimbo~~

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

The POSITIVE relationship.... Posted: 9/20/2009 5:53:19 PM
What constitutes a positive relationship for you? Does it include growth through some of the negatives encountered before and during a realtionship? Do you gather in all the data and create a positive spreadsheet? nah...I don't do spreadsheets....especially about a relationship. oh.........great post above, Margo ^, love the turnaround part. Life is both positive and negative. Moods can be up...can be down we have the choice as to how to work around these things. yes , it would 'seem' that it is a prerequisite of sorts to do a lot of b i tching about relationships on here (these forums). All that really indicates to me, is that there is a lot of negativity floating around out there. Nothing more than that. time and maturity helps..... in a good way. Yes, One's view of Life and Love and Happiness starts with yourself. It's an inside job. Thoughts become things. We have more than ever at our disposal to live positive and productive lives, yet many are unhappy. Thoughts become things. I don't stay stuck...in negativity, or foul moods anymore. I'm not saying I don't ever have grumpy or hard days, I'm human, but I just 'know'...that moods are transient. You can start your story over at any moment ,. really. It's odd, but I can see the positivity in every situation that has ever occurred in my life now.....even though it seemed I was slogging through pure shIt at the time.....now...I just go....'Aha'. Now I get it. I'm no Pollyanna. NFW. Just a bit more realistic about how a life....will manifest...almost exactly to the letter as you choose to view it. Some days are better than others But all in all, it's been a great trip. Kimbo~~

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 136 (view)

Is appropriate to sleep with your ex to get closure? Posted: 9/19/2009 7:50:20 PM
ahh....yet another interesting twist on the overused word 'closure' you know, somebody said to me once.."well, I suppose good sex is as good a reason as any to stay in a relationship" And, I understand that this woman was quite a distance from your guy, too. It's not uncommon, at all, for someone to think..."Wonder what it would be like...just one last time"? but closure???? c'mon. I mean, it's nice of you to try to frame bullshIt in the form of this question, but you already know the answer. Right? Kimbo

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

She needs spce, but we were never exclsive, but dated and were lovers! So confusing! Posted: 9/19/2009 3:55:57 PM
Barnaby, truth be told, your life is so overloaded with things that need attending to at the moment, that her behavior is actually very appropriate. Nothing that has befallen you in any way makes you 'less of a person'.....or a walking drama king...nothing like that. But rather, real life situations that call for all of our full concentration and all of our mettle. You will walk your way out of this forest step by step, one foot in front of the other, and be stronger on the other side. But this is a new relationship, and she is stepping back a bit to give you the space to work some of the stuff out. that's really it.....that' simple. Sometimes in life, when a lot is going on, even the most stable, tried and true relationship will be tested. In short, you don't need to be worrying about a relationship at this particular juncture of you Life. Work on your issues, get stronger, allow her her space, and when you've bounced back a bit....which you will.....be in touch with her then. Best to you Kimbo !

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

I don't understand, can anyone help Posted: 9/19/2009 2:45:38 PM
dude, after that much chit chat, she's less than marginally interested. believe me. Here's the deal...if you live close by, and it's been back and forth that long, then you were infatuated with an 'idea' of someone. She wasn't. yes, you gotta get off the keys and meet at some point, as Clasact says. ^ Then you got a very realistic idea of whether you wanna see her again. Sometimes time, and distance are between , so I can see where it may seem a little cat and mousish, but that's a different story. But all that writing.....and nothin? ummmm.... As Kimbo says.....look for somebody that actually 'wants' to spend some time with ya. good luck K'bo

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 39 (view)

Women who try to come back after shutting you out Posted: 9/19/2009 2:32:08 PM
Sounds like y'all are ridin' more than the same train. C'mon dude, you never heard of one comin' back to the same well for another drink when they're a little ...ummm...thirsty. I get every part of this story, 'except'...the gay friend. Haha....I'm really not sure where the helI he fits in.....(.oooops. ) ... Maybe you thought you'd just round out the story a little bit.....because, well, you know, everybody has a gay friend or two. You're a big boy....and she's obviously still on your mind a lot..because you're pissed at her for straying. Yeah, you are.! If you were over her shIt, there would be little emotion around her either way. So...... You wanna give her another ride, then Just do it....if you don't, then be an adult and just chit chat in a civil manner. Pretty simple, really seeya Kimbo ~~

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

Do these guys really believe this when they say it? Posted: 9/18/2009 7:35:56 PM
reading to many tabloids at the checkout, sister. Either that, or too many posts by grumpy old POF guys. Hey......... It doesn't matter what you do.... It matters who you are As Carlin used to say,...." Guys, always go for the absolute hottest babe in the room. Even if she shoots you down, it's not like you're gonna be layin' her any 'less'. " George made a lot of good points, ya know? Kimbo

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Would you have sex with her? Posted: 9/18/2009 7:28:54 PM
Well, I could tell you about how my , umm..brains may have processed stuff like this in the past...but that wouldn't apply now to this hypothetical situation. If I , at this point in life...can see no point to investigating a relationship that I feel may have some possibilities....I wouldn't have sex with that woman just for the sake of having sex. If you know, inside, that it isn't going anywhere, and never would, you can talk it out later until you are purple, and none of that talk would come near the definition of the word 'clarification'. OK? Kimbo ~

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 34 (view)

Is it ok to date the friend of an ex Posted: 9/18/2009 7:22:53 PM
well, any situation is 'OK', as long as there is no harm inflicted, and there are understandings. But, lemme put myself into this scenario for a moment. Hmmm....I think it would be 'uncomfortable'. I'm not saying it wouldn't be OK....or doable, but, no matter how the relationship ended, I' can see where some strange feelings could be kicked up. I know, perhaps there are not that many opportunities to meet new people, and everybody knew each other beforehand, most likely. But, with all of the available folks in the world, it probably would be better to look elsewhere rather than to date one of your ex's friends. just sayin' Kimbo

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

what to do when someone plagiarize? Posted: 9/18/2009 2:31:59 PM
Hard to say Red. Maybe he is a writer. Maybe he borrowed a bit here and there......I mean....almost everything has been written already, ya know. It's like writing a new song.....most chords have been used in different combinations...that's why a lot of songs sound kindof similar. Maybe parts of his novel contained some quotes from an author. That's what bibliographies are for, right? Id ask him though, no harm. See if he's straight with you, or stumblin' around on his words. Mostly, it sounds like he wanted to get your attention, and it worked. But, if part of it is nigglin' at you, you're not gonna really let go of it anyway...it's gonna be bouncing around somewhere in your psyche......soooo...might as well put your palms up on the table from the get go. regards Kimbo ~~

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Is our friendship over? Posted: 9/18/2009 2:18:19 PM
When a man wants to date you and start a relationship with you he will let you know, trust me. They never tell you straight out that they aren't interested in more than friendship. They just aren't capable of this type of bravery and directness. Well, that may be partially true, WWTW, especially the bravery part. You say somethin' like that...( " I just want to be friends only, to certain women"), and you learn to become pretty good at ducking fast, when a dinner plate is hurled at your head. lol. I think I'm pretty good at being direct, when I've thought things through and know what the helI I'm talking about. It's actually better for her, if he stepped back to think it through, rather than just offer up some knee jerk reaction meant to satisfy, or 'sound good' He may just be a think it through-er, rather than a 'blurter'. regards Kimbo

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 62 (view)

Exploring relationship, okay to mesage others? Posted: 9/18/2009 10:24:17 AM
Interesting to watch the progression of this thread. I did answer way back....if there is an answer....and it was more along the lines of what Sleeping Beauty referred to above me a few posts. This dude wasn't 'in' a relationship and cheating or fcukin' around. And really, In the Big Picture don't you all really believe that it is kindof a harmless way for this rather nondescript, harmless dude to pend some of his time, with all of the real crap and atrocities going on in this so called Life. He reminds me of a guy I knew way back when...an older Guy...who loved to wish everyone well....he was full of life....wanted everybody to be happy happy.....well, of course, I hated this guy , the Freakin' Pollyanna., but, in time, I soon grew to realize that all things are just not that serious. Really, they're not. He was a great guy who was just kindof 'happy', and not all bunched up and ready to fight at the drop of a glove. Here's a hundred answers tryin' to make a guy feel bad about doin nuthin'. People hmmmmphf!! can't please em....can't shoot em. Take a deep breath and go on to 'Dating Advice and Adventures' now.... or Broken Hearts...yeah, more broken Hearts get yer ya ya's out. peace Kimbo ~

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

What does this mean? Posted: 9/17/2009 7:26:56 PM
Maybe he's depressed about something...or just going through some Life stuff Nixon. It's pretty normal for life to play on ya sometimes, and when it does, man, ...you just gotta step out for a while and figure things out for yourself. You don't want other people figuring out your shIt for ya. no way. I know you want to help, and your intentions are well meant....but, he's already told you that he feels shut off right now. Sure, you don't like seeing your friend that way...but, it 's a necessary mood that he's in......right now....in some fashion. Something is working through him.....let it work. I know that when I am workin' through some things....that may be difficult, bothersome, dark, I don't wanna be Pollyanna-d to death, ya know? remember, all emotions are equal and valid.....let him grow. Kimbo ~

akimmbo

Joined: 7/22/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Deletes His Account After I Give Him My Number-? Posted: 9/17/2009 7:12:55 PM
probably 'hid' his account is more accurate. I'd be a bit nervous if somebody pulled their account 'before' they even met me....thinking that I am the only one for them. You gotta meet first. Kimbo

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