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Author
Thread: Is this a Hate Crime ?
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
34 (
view
)
Is this a Hate Crime ?
Posted:
11/20/2009 2:50:10 PM
He's called "The commander in chief" for a REASON
Nice try but Hazan was inducted and ignored on Bush's watch.
It's HIS Administration that won't call it a "WAR " or that they are "TERRORISTS "
Well... if it IS a war, with what country are we at war?
As for "terrorism," too much is made of it. Some people called George Washington and his compadres terrorists.
The military has to eat this Psycho- babble , Political correctness bullshit by the shovel full
Then it's too bad they're too stupid to learn even if we unhinge the tops of their heads and pour the lessons in. One of our top military officials was recently promoted into that position despite having forced enlisted persons to simulate beastiality and homosexual sex acts on film. One person under his command was being investigated regarding the matter. All she did was follow orders. Maybe she enjoyed it too. I dunno. But the fact of the matter is she wound up committed suicide. And the perpetrator got a f***ing promotion.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
70 (
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How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted:
11/20/2009 2:37:52 PM
Are most people missing the fact that SHE asked him to meet her for coffee? Do any of you ask someone to join you somewhere and then expect that they will pay your tab? If this is proper and acceptable, I'm gonna invite absolute strangers to join me and get my lunch for free every freaking day.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
188 (
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Did you think life would be like this at 50?
Posted:
11/20/2009 1:55:29 PM
^^^ Oh! We recently purchased a Wii. I've never been interested in video games but this whole interactive with body movement thang has me facinated. Matrix, anyone? Meh! But it does seem very Star Trek Holi-decky. I found myself thinking about how back in the day many things on Star Trek were so far fetched. I soooo want a transporter... and WARP DRIVE! Awesome!
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
3 (
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Trips and Family Functions with Dad
Posted:
11/20/2009 1:46:09 PM
Oh! The temptation to say "Yeah... it sucks to behave like an adult or be considerate of others. That's probably why your dad and paternal grandparents never tried it." is unbearable!
When your son voices his displeasure I think you should tell him to contact his grandparents and confront them for continuing to schedule the event when they know he cannot participate, but verbally beating you up over things you cannot control is not an option. Some may see that as bashing, but I see it as facilitating mediation between the proper parties.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
26 (
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Is this a Hate Crime ?
Posted:
11/20/2009 1:06:42 PM
Oh... I don't think she should go to jail for five years. I think she should have to go to Afghanistan for 5 years wearing a t-shirt that reads Allah Sucks. Let her see what it's like to be the victim of a hate crime. I can hear you whining now "But those evil ol' terrorist muslims will stone her to death!" Yet you wouldn't mind tying Hazan to the back of your 4-wheel drive truck and dragging his a** down main street USA without benefit of a trial. Yeah... yeah... yeah... I know - "But he KILLED people!" So will racist mofos if you don't catch and stop em before they've graduated to that level of violence.
Personally, I don't give a fat rat's a** about Hasan. Kill him for all I care. And I'm opposed to the death penalty in most situations so that's saying alot about how little I think of him. I just think the military needs to take responsibility for making it possible by ignoring the red flags, neon signs, bon fires, and sirens Hasan seems to have been setting off the last couple of years. I hold the military as responsible for those deaths as I do Hasan.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
12 (
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Dad or Jail?
Posted:
11/20/2009 12:55:25 PM
Not only do I think the judgement is wrong, I don't understand how any judge would even entertain such a motion. The child is not a party to the divorce decree. In terms of conditions and enforcement it should only be applicable to the parents. Therefore, the mother is the one who should be in jail. Meanwhile, that would necessitate the son living with the father.
Juvenile detention is not an appropriate place for a minor who has not committed an act which would be a felony if he/she was an adult. (Well... a felony is a felony regardless of one's age but I'm speaking about what can and cannot be done to the 'offender' automatically v. having to file a motion.)
I'm not impressed with the alluding to the child's reasons being recorded in a confidentiality agreement being held by the court. If the child had alleged some kind of abuse I doubt the judge would have taken the approach he has.
I think the entire family should be ordered into counseling AND mediation.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
20 (
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)
Is this a Hate Crime ?
Posted:
11/20/2009 12:08:33 PM
^^^ Yes, the crime is already ont he books and, therefore, can be prosecuted. But what I think hate crime legislation did was to encourage prosecution instead of police deciding some incidents (like the scarf pulling) are not serious enough to waste their time on and burden the court dockets. They would even tell such victims "This is really a civil matter, not a police matter." But the thing is when some people are not held accountable for their actions their behavior will escalate... like serial killers who started off pulling the wings off insects, then graduated to small animals and, next, on to humans.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
32 (
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couple arrested for not tipping.,,
Posted:
11/20/2009 11:58:24 AM
The whole story is outrageous. I never “tip” nor is it our custom to ask or worse still, demand “tips”. Establishments should have set prices and that’s what your bill should reflect. People work in the hospitality industry at their own volition and are governed by the Australian Fair Pay and Conditions Standard. The Standard contains five minimum conditions of employment that are legally binding on all employers.
Bethleham, PA, isn't IN Austrailia. I've never known wait staff in the USA who earn minimum wage. They usually earn at least $1 under the minum wage and are expected to make up the difference in tips. If they do not the management is required to compensate them with an amount which would make their earnings equal minimum wage (but they'll also let them go if this continues as it is indicative of wait staff who are unable to provide adequate service which in turn is costing the establishment money).
The advantage to paying less hourly and collecting tips is that it provides an unverifiable income so such "workers at the lower rungs" can pay less taxes. I'm sure that wasn't Uncle Sam's intent and some wait staff will tell you that don't engage in such activities (and maybe some don't), but you don't see anyone here clamoring to change it so both must be satisfied with the arrangement.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
61 (
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How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted:
11/20/2009 11:41:32 AM
^^^ Ya know, dc, my mind keeps coming back to the ol' the-inviter-is-the-payee. From previous discussions I know some people do not believe or buy into it being proper etiquette. But I'm thinking the OP should have looked her straight in the eye and said "Oh! I thought since you invited me that YOU were paying. Pardon me for being one who stands on true etiquette, manners and tradition. I can loan you $2 if you don't have it."
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
64 (
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Secrets
Posted:
11/20/2009 11:25:49 AM
I've oftened referred to secrets as chinks in armor. They're weaknesses to be used against you. So I'm not much on secrets.
It's not really a secret, just not well-known, that I'm actually kind of a softy. What some see as a brusque manner is a defense mechanism, but one actually would have to spend time with me to recognize that. Few seem to have the stamina required to run the course, which also makes it an excellent screening device. Heheheheh!
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
186 (
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Did you think life would be like this at 50?
Posted:
11/20/2009 11:15:27 AM
Part of me didn't expect to ever see 50 so I didn't have alotta expectations on the matter. The girls all would have graduated from high school, and not be pregnant or in prison -- check. The house would be paid for -- check... but we sold it, relocated and went back in debt. (Speaking of rocking chairs) I thought if we lived that long we would be rocking away on the porch, taking a lil' trip now and then. Instead I've taken lil' trips to spread his ashes here and there. I d*** sure never dreamed I would be dating, interested in another man, or building a new relationship. Somehow, tho, it has worked out that I'm feeling more energetic, optimistic and youthful than I have in a long time.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
23 (
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couple arrested for not tipping.,,
Posted:
11/20/2009 9:24:09 AM
As a former waitress I agree with the comments about tipping out and not tipping wait staff actually costing the person money to work. For this reason I DO agree with the practice of (which must be clearly stated in writing somewhere, typically the menu) of charging a mandatory 20% gratuity for parties of 6 or more. Such tables DO require more of waiter's time which can result in neglect of other tables. However, I also believe if an establishment engages in this practice they should feel obligated to ensure the service is worthy of such a tip. That can be achieved in a number of ways. What it will not help is the speed at which the food is prepared. It doesn't matter if it only takes 15 minutes to cook a steak. If there are 20 other orders in front of the steak, it won't even be on the grill in less than 15 minutes. If people want someone to concentrate on just them, they should probably dine at their momma's.
If the party had to get their own drink refills and silverware it sounds like the server either had too many tables to wait, had too many demanding customers, OR chose to not work as hard since the tip should have been a given. The proper thing for the customers to have done would be to immediately summon or seek out the management to express dissatisfaction with service and concern over the impending mandatory gratuity. If the management was not willing to accomodate them accordingly, then they should pay for their drinks (if the management doesn't comp them) and go elsewhere. The proper thing for management to have done would be to correct the situation (if made aware early enough) or collect the gratuity, comp the tab, then charge the waiter/ress (and sack em if they don't quit then and there).
Yes, there are people who will complain and be dissatisfied no matter what cuz they are dining with the intent to get something for nothing. There also are customers who are very demanding and inconsiderate. They ask you to bring them some condiment or whatever and when you bring it to them they've come up with something else they need which they could and should have seen they needed or were about to need. They take more than their share of the waiter's time which resultss neglect of other tables. Then they often don't tip well cuz the waiter wasn't a mind-reader.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
51 (
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How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted:
11/20/2009 8:43:35 AM
Me: "I think all first meets should be brief, inexpensive and Dutch..."
tracyannk: "This wasn't a first "meet" it was their 4th date."
And had you continued reading and put the comment in context you might not have felt the need to state the obvious. But I understand you like to rag on me for reasons I do not understand. Possibly cuz you may have disagreed with me when this was discussed previously. I really don't remember cuz I don't cling to old BS but whatever.
Me: "believe it helps to set a tone and is The opportunity to discuss how things might be handled on possible dates int he near future. Yes, the discussion of each other's expectations MUST be had."
tracyannk: "If someone sat me down on a 1st or 2nd date and had a discussion with me about how our dates would be handled financially they would never see my ass again.
Well, thank God for small favors.
Would you have such a discussion with a friend with whom you frequently engage in activities which are not free? Or would you just pay their way every time or expect them to pay yours? Why would you treat someone you hope to or intend to date regularly any differently? Perhaps you just don't respect men in general, have an attitude of entitlement, or are just a user and avoiding such discussions gives you a plausible excuse for making assumptions about men financing your entertainment and social life. Speaking of " Tacky.Tacky.Tacky."
OP, if you can't afford to date, then don't date. I'm wondering, though, that if money is the main issue here. Me thinks if you really, really liked this woman, cared about her, enjoyed her company, etc. that you would be more than happy to pay for her. I'm thinking that you're really not into her so much and are looking for excuses.
Spoken like a true princess from the land of entitlement. Do you have your potential dates fill out an application and decline all who earn under X amount?
Personally, I don't make half-hearted gestures to pay so a man will get an unrealistic idea of who and what I am. I put my whole heart into it and I insist because it makes me feel better about myself and I never have to worry BS accusations of using a man. I want and enjoy the company of a man, not his wallet.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
38 (
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How to tell a woman to start paying for part of the date
Posted:
11/20/2009 7:03:58 AM
Personally, I think all first meets should be brief, inexpensive and Dutch. Not only does niether owe the other anything, I believe it helps to set a tone and is The opportunity to discuss how things might be handled on possible dates int he near future. Yes, the discussion of each other's expectations MUST be had. And the OP should have done this long ago but hindsight is 20/20 and all that.
That being said I'm still not going to recommend to the OP that he have such a discussion with this woman now. I think he should stop seeing her period. To me it is a tremendous transgression to invite someone to accompany or meet us somewhere and then not pay the tab for the outing. Unless other arrangements have been discussed in advance, this is just how it is done in my book. (Having had this discussion before on POF I already know some disagree with that so there's no need to point it out yet again but thank you for playing and here's a lovely parting gift.)
Anyway, OP, dump her, move on, and incorporate this valuable lesson into your future endeavors.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
53 (
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People, why against the rocking chair on the porch?
Posted:
11/20/2009 6:38:39 AM
who the hell wants to sit around waiting to die?
I don't consider spending some time sitting (in a rocking chair, swing or whatever) on the porch as waiting to die. It's more like taking a moment to just relax, appreciate and enjoy our family, friends and surroundings before we die cuz we've spent so much of our adult life hustling to deal with and take care of our responsibilities.
I don't have a rocking chair. I don't dislike them. I've just never felt the need to buy one (and haven't been gifted with one) cuz I have so much lawn furniture. I used to have a nice covered porch on my former house. I miss it alot. Some days I could see the Wichita Mountain Range about 20-25 miles away. What I didn't have down in SW OK was mature timber. Here, I have a beautiful back yard with a clump of wild willows and a shade garden. Pavers make up my "porch" and I love to sit out there in the evening, burn a little pinyon in the chimnea, listen to some tunes and drown out the drone of the highway. I look forward to that on evenings when the weather is good and long for it when the weather isn't.
I like fishing sitting down too. So sue me.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
4 (
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Please Help with a Math Problem...$350.00 a year?
Posted:
11/19/2009 8:10:57 AM
I would gladly pay $350 a year IF it provided the guarantee that I'm not gonna pay $12,000/year for insurance that doesn't even cover everything. For that kind of money, unless my family exceeds a certain reasonable percentage of what I paid in premiums, every freaking dime of our care should be paid by said insurance IMHO.
I was cracking up listening to some insurance industry rep being interviewed on NPR trying to explain and justify insurance premiums. Paraphrasing -- "Insurance is a risk market..." (Duh!) "So say the insurance company charges a $500 premium..." (Could you use examples from THIS decade?!) "and pays $450 for medical care to the client. That's 90% of what the company received fromt he client so the insurer has only made 10%. It is their job to try to figure out what their risks are and how to compensate in order to earn a profit."
Hmmm... With the exceptions of child birth and one major surgery, my entire family's medical care for any given year has NEVER come anywhere near $12,000. Maybe $8,000--$9,000 of what we DIDN'T cost the insurance company should roll over like cell phone minutes instead of being transferred to some over-paid, under-worked, rich mofo's bonus check for doing a piss poor job.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
63 (
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How much do we tolerated before calling it quits ????
Posted:
11/19/2009 7:40:56 AM
I will attempt to steer the discussion back to the topic before y'all get it deleted or locked with your chit-chattiness.
Hey! It may be old but I see I have never contributed to it. Hee!
I'm not sure whether it is a point of embarrassment or pride that for 16 years I put up with alotta sh**. In his defense, there were days I was an absolute b**** on wheels (no offense, Breathe LOL). So sometimes maybe he fell off the wagon cuz I drove him to it. But for the most part he was an addict making bad choices. Looking back it never ceases to amaze me that someone so f***ed up can still possess the intelligence to be so manipulative. You call em on their behavior and the next thing you know you're defending your own behavior. WTF?!?! Maybe I didn't so much tolerate it v. it just took me a long time to learn what love is and isn't. But I d*** sure thought I had it... thought I had one of the greatest loves in the world... in the history of the world... the stuff legends are made of.
I don't think I've learned to be more or less tolerant. I've learned to be more assertive (not aggressive) and say what isn't acceptable as well as the consequence of future transgressions. If things can't be discussed reasonably, if one or both can't or won't modify behaviors, then it's time to part ways. Life is too short to spend any more of it than absolutely necessary on negativity.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
15 (
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Commitment, a unique or generalized pledge?
Posted:
11/19/2009 7:14:56 AM
Yes, I think my view of a commitment has changed. Maybe not necessarily cuz I've grown older (altho I have) or wiser (altho I hope I have), but cuz many of my views have changed based on my experiences and observations. One big example would be that if I had not lost a partner to death then I probably wouldn't have this life-can-change-in-an-instant outlook. I still may have goals, make plans, and pursue those but I'm less likely to get my panties in a bunch when something happens and is in conflict with those. I'll adjust, adapt and overcome.
Two years ago I didn't believe I ever wanted to be in a committed relationship again, but here I am today -- happily cohabitating. Tomorrow one of us could step off the curb and be struck by a bus. Dead would be dead. Bed-ridden would be a whole 'nuther kettle of fish. The question isn't so much WOULD either of us tend to the other (as an invalid) for the rest of our natural life, but COULD either of us. COULD our personal situations make that even a plausible consideration? I dunno. really but I'm thinking not.
I've come to embrace the philosophy of people coming into our lives for reasons and seasons. Expecting anything more than that just seems like possibly setting one's self up for disappointment/failure. For me the more important question (but one that has been done to death) is what each individual believes committment involves and whether each half of a couple believes themself and their partner capable of delivering.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
26 (
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Start off as the new partner, then become their parent
Posted:
11/19/2009 6:26:03 AM
If you were faced with this in the past, either being one or the other, are there suggestions on fixing it or avoiding it. ??
I like to think I'm outspoken but not controlling. I'm classic Scorpio and my bf is classic Taurus. Both very assertive.
My bf began deferring to me more and more until I felt like all decisions such as where we would go, what we would do, even what we would eat were left totally up to me. I didn't like it. One evening I had to drive back into town due to a technical problem at the office. We had a gift certificate for a nearby restaurant so he rode with me and said we would go to dinner after I finished with my errand. But there was a problem at the restaurant so we had a change of plans. Next thing I know we're in a very expensive restaurant and it takes forever just to get a beverage. I volunteer that it's his money and he can do what he wants, and I've personally paid those kinds of prices in the past but expect much better service for that kind of money. He asks what I want to do -- leave or stay. I tell him I've already told him my opinion. He kinda slammed his fist down on the table and says "I ASKED what you want to do, NOT your opinion!" So I slammed my fist down on the table and replied "And I KNOW you did not just raise your voice to me IN PUBLIC!" He paid for our drinks and we went elsewhere where he's all lovey-dovey. "Did I mention that when I get disrespected you don't get laid?"
We haven't had that problem ever since.
I've told men in the past that I need someone who can rein me in without blatantly trying to break my spirit cuz I will buck. I tell them I'm not into fighting altho admittedly I've been in more than my share of verbal jousts and lauched a few household object missiles in my younger days. But I need and want someone similar to me, neither too strong or too soft. Then both have to understand that there will be days and issues. As in all things, communication is key.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
43 (
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Visitation: Dos and Don'ts
Posted:
11/18/2009 11:52:41 AM
Ah! Two and a Half Men. It all makes sense now.
I assure you, westernwildrose, I assume nothing about you.
I've had to pick up my girls at school after the principal called to let me know their father was arrested (expired tag, suspended license, no insurance) right in front of the school nd his children. I've had to explain to my girls that their dad would not be visiting them for a while cuz he was in jail for possession of meth. I'm not saying your situation could be worse. Just assuring you that you're not the only parent (male or female) who has been confronted with these difficult things. Hense the single parents forum.
Good luck.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
88 (
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birthing stories!!!
Posted:
11/18/2009 11:44:39 AM
Well this guy comes in with this thing to break my water... She is going to try to break my water. Of course, this being a teaching hospital, she has to show intern guy how to do it. It went exactly as it was supposed . It was even kind of funny to watch Mr. Intern jump back to keep any fluid from getting on his dress shoes
Okay... I wasn't gonna participate buuuuuuut... LOL!
My water doesn't break with a splash. It dribbles. So I show up at L&D in the middle of the night, dribbling, my pants soaking wet, and this L&D nurse takes me to an examining room "to determine if you're really in labor." WTF?! At which point I fill her orthopedic shoes. I took great delight in listening to her squish up and down the halls for the rest of her shift. MUWAHAHAHA!
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
40 (
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Visitation: Dos and Don'ts
Posted:
11/18/2009 11:20:18 AM
Not going to discipline the kids and tell them to stop referring to him as a womanizer and the other things that spew from their mouths...based on their personal observation. They have met several of his new girlfriends over the last few years.
I find most of the time they don't know what they are saying....and I find it disrespectful.... I tell them that...an explain to them it is wrong. I put a stop to it.
"Womanizer"?! WTH do kids get THAT in their vocabulary?! I'm not saying it's you but they d*** sure heard SOMEBODY talking.
I hear your frustration and it is well earned. However, your ex's (non)communication style is not that different from alotta guys. I call it "the dog whistle theory," meaning they can't hear anything spoken by a vessel with female hormones. This particular type of man does not respect women and, therefore, does not believe women have anything to say worthy of hearing.
If you believe such behavior is truly detrimental to the kids, record all conversations to prove 1) what you did and didn't tell him; 2) his unreceptive attitude.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
12 (
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Anyone had to subject a child 6 or older to surgery?
Posted:
11/18/2009 11:05:48 AM
My youngest daughter had to have surgery for a hernia when she was about 5 or 6. I don't remember explaining much if anything about the surgery to her. She had considerable pain associated with the hernia and was ready for the that to end so maybe that helped but probably isn't applicable to your situation.
She was more freaked out about them taking a blood specimen -- "Mom, they STOLE my blood!"
I don't know if it is normal procedure (if it isn't it should be) but they did not start an IV until AFTER they had put her under (by placing a mask over her face). I thought that was helpful. I was lucky that I worked as the secretary to the director of surgery so I was able to accompany her into the surgery suite and hold her hand until she was put under (but you have to be scrubbed, gowned, masked, and hair-netted for that).
I do agree your son deserves notice and explanation as well as your loving support and encouragement. Perhaps you could talk with the surgeon or just contact a pediatric specialist about how to handle the situation. Surely there's some kind of medical journal or web article on the subject.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
14 (
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Oh, its to soon to have sex... yah, blah, blah, blaw
Posted:
11/18/2009 10:46:20 AM
Orgasm does not make good sex!
Yeah... uhm... I think we found your problem, dude.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
353 (
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Sarah Palin Stepping Down As Alaska Gov. Running for Pres. 2012?
Posted:
11/16/2009 2:52:40 PM
I like Sarah Palin. I like who she is and what she represents as well as what she's done and what she's doing.
So you like it when people twist or totally mutilate the truth for their own agenda.
She unlike any other politican I've ever seen in my lifetime strikes me as an outspoken middle class person with middle class values.
And a mediocre education and even poorer memory of any lessons she learned at... at... how many colleges did she attend again?
No silver spoon, no elitist attitude, no fancy Ive League education, no well connected DC beltway ties and currently no real party line bullshit.
Odd. I found her soccer mom background (which turned out to be BS anyway) to be the new and improved brand of elitism - rednecks with clout/power, every blue=blooded American's nightmare.
I like her story and her backround.
Could you be more specific? Which did you like? The story? Or the background? Cuz they don't seem to be the same thing.
I like that she enjoyed a high favorability rating while governing a state and did not take advantage
Except when they made improvements to their private property without obtaining the propert permist... or when she and her family were in the company of her now-ex-BIL while he (and a couple members of her family) participated in illegal hunting activities but she didn't disapprove of that behavior until such knowledge was believed to possibly be helpful in her sister's divorce case... or when when she charged the state per diem to live in her own house. I could go on but I think you get the picture.
and I like that she freed herself from a situation where she was under constant attack only to return as a powerful influental force.
I'll grant that one... but only among those who think as she does. The rest of us still think she is crazier than a crack house rat.
She comes accross to me as real people without the self aggrandizing persona I've seen with just about every other politican and in the final analysis she does not give up, she finds another way to succeed. I admire that quality.
Yeah... as a 'super mom' the only thing she can stretch further than a dollar is 15 minutes of fame.
To those who feel compelled to bash her you have you opinions and motives, that's ok, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and Sarah Palin does not appear in any way to be shrinking from the criticism she's recieved from anyone.
Yeah. It's called "Bad publicity is better than no publicity at all." She's a real original.
and if she should choose to run for President in 2012 she's got my vote.
I think you should send that grammatically incorrect tidbit to her and recommend it as a campaign slogan. You might ask the journalism major if SHE knows what's wrong with it.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
15 (
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How do you older women feel about a younger guy in a relationship
Posted:
11/16/2009 1:17:10 PM
The only women I know in RL who are dating younger guys are built like brick sh** houses (with silicone mortice of course), driving sports cars, and going thru their own second childhoods. When their young stud muffins ask for something besides missionary position, I'm beset with phones calls, asking "Is THAT normal? Have you ever done it?!"
So it's a little difficult for me to keep a straight face when I meet the Flavor of the Month.
Maybe I just started too young. I tried dating a younger guy about 20 years ago. It was so disappointing that I swore off ever since. I've never had cause to be concerned regarding any guy I dated meeting my family. I generally try to spare the man that experience.
If I WAS uncomfortable introducing someone I'm seeing to my family/friends, I would seriously question myself regarding why I feel that way and whether the person/arrangement is in my best interests.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
81 (
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birthing stories!!!
Posted:
11/16/2009 12:49:03 PM
I'm reminded of when I had to go thru birthing classes with my second husband (cuz it was his first child). One evening the doctor was giving an overview and taking questions. At the beginning of the evening he asked "How many of you are planning on having natural childbirth?" (meaning no drugs). Two couples raised their hands. The the doctors response was "Why?! Why would you live in an age with so many benefits but choose to birth your children like cavemen and pioneers?"
That being said, I'm not knocking drugless or home birthing. My last 2 children were born without benefit of drugs. Not my first choice but it happens thataway sometimes when your labor isn't very long. My first experience was in the 80s -- a saddleblock, complete with headaches. I'd go natural before I would choose that again but it has long since gone the way of the dinosaur. I'm guessing most births are uncomplicated but having had complications and a premature baby I would be too afraid of the consequences of such a situation in a facility that didn't have every bell and whistles known to man.
I recently participating in the delivery of my cousin's second grandchild. With her first child the mother received an epidural when she was dialated to about a 4 or 5 so she had a very easy birth (compared to some). This gave her an unrealistic view of what childbirth actually is like; therefore, this time she opted to 'go natural.' Compound that situation with having to be induced. I have no personal experience in that arena but have heard can result in a longer process. They started the drip at 4 p.m. She asked for a hypo at 8 p.m. By 9 p.m. she graduated to asking for an epidural.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
234 (
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Obama drops the ball...again.
Posted:
11/13/2009 2:48:36 PM
I'm talking about diplomacy prior to military actions, not in the middle of it.
Isolationism won't work until if and when we are no longer dependent on the resources of other countries for energy, and with the US's insatiable appetite and predisposition for wastefulness I really don't see that becoming an reality.
Don't mistake me for a democrat OR a liberal. I disavowed the Republican party early on in Bush's second term. I claim no party. I'm not a coward or weak. I own weapons and I'm not afraid to use them. I just find chest pounding to be the smoke screen of impotent lil' di**-tators who don't have enough intelligence to govern justly once they're in power. There is a balance that is neither crushing nor weak. You should try seeking it sometime cuz might doesn't always make right.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
312 (
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Fort Hood shooting - What are the questions? What are the answers?
Posted:
11/13/2009 12:05:44 PM
America can hold one of it own majors as a P.O.W. now because he has changed sides. He is a member of the Muslim Extremists waging a "Holy War" against the oppressors from the West. Much like Khalid Sheikh Mohammed must also be treated as a P.O.W. because G.W. Bush declared a war on terrorism and those knocked these towers.
This may come as a surprise to you but Khalid Sheikh Mohammed never was a member of the US armed forces.
It is much more effective and quick to treat Hasan as a traitor and murderer. IF he is a terrorist, it would be much more time consuming and expensive to investiage, gather eveidence and prove his connection to and orders received from other terrorists.
But the USA has for decades snubbed it's nose at the Geneva Convention and United Nations. The USA has the idea it is going to do whatever it wants, to whomever it wants, for whatever benefits the USA, and to hell with democratic international laws and rules of engagement
While I agree the US has in the past ignored the tenents of the Geneva Convention, it does not apply to this situation so the rest of your tirade is not worthy of acknowledgement.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
230 (
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Obama drops the ball...again.
Posted:
11/13/2009 11:58:20 AM
JWG86: The healthcare bill is MASSIVELY unpopular, yet it continues to be dragged through the process of passage even with the majority of the people opposing it.
You and Sarah Pallin need to learn that just cuz you say it don't make it so. "The healthcare bill" is not massively unpopular cuz most elected officials haven't read all of it, much less John Q. Public. Some specific items of contention contained within the bill are unpopular with some elected officials and taxpayers which may even constitute a majority. However, it remains to be seen whether what they are dissatisfied with is the actual bill in part or whole or a minrepresentation thereof.
PokerPlayer: Bush 100% made a lot of errors and mistakes, but he atleast did what he thought was right, not what was politically correct. The longer Obama plays these stupid games, the more danger our troops are in.
Bush couldn't THINK if his life depended on it. He did what Cheney and his minions told him to do, and Cheney has his fingers in so many pies he should even be allowed to hold public office due to conflict of interest. This Cheney song about delay in making a decision costing American lives is getting old and was BS from the first second he spewed it outta that portal of h*** AKA his piehole. If one makes a snap decision to send more troops into a country where NO OTHER COUNTRY has EVER won, all that is gonna accomplish is getting more soldiers killed too. It's a lose-lose situation... unless you intend to turn all of Afghanistan into a large chunck of nuclear-generated glass.
The leader said we need more troops, I'm pretty sure he is more qualified than Obama.
Really?! Just what war in Afghanistan did he win that makes him more experienced and qualified to know what will work there and what will not?
Whiteshark: So, in the mean time with troop morale falling and not enough troops to make a difference either way he dithers and waffles while American boys are in harm's way? What a great leader. At least Bush had the nuts to send in more troops and get the job done even when he knew it was political suicide. McCain supported this effort and it would have cost him the nomination had it failed
Like sending more troops cannot possibly equal more casualities and death.
Bush didn't get any d*** job done. If he had we wouldn't be having this discussion. Bush didn't have to worry about political suicide cuz he had served 2 terms. I keep hearing the troop surge worked yet I note we're still at war and enemy attacks and American casualities continue to rise so I'm not sure what a working plan looks like but apparently one can tell by the rising body count. Good f***ing job... NOT! I'll tell you what I have noticed though -- diplomacy never killed anybody.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
45 (
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The Kids Hate You?
Posted:
11/13/2009 6:11:31 AM
I'm fortunate that my girls are grown and gone or almost there. One, who is attending college and not living at home, suddenly and recently announced to me that she does not like my bf. I told her "And I don't like YOUR bf or your sister's bf, but I don't recall either of you seeing that as a good reason to end the relationship. We're all adults or d*** near and must learn to tolerate each others' partners for the sake of family togetherness."
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
20 (
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How do you feel about Taylor Swift.
Posted:
11/12/2009 2:47:13 PM
I don't see anyone hating on her. I think most people just believe in artists paying their dues. She's a child and cannot possibly have paid them. I'm not even convinced she has gotten her period yet.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
12 (
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Anybody interested In American literature
Posted:
11/12/2009 1:52:14 PM
XXth centuruy would be preferred. I considered Nathanael West. I liked his short novels, but It's quite difficult to write about and maybe a bit boring. I prefer themes concerned with relations between people or the life of people during the war.
Hemmingway or Steinbeck. The latter's Grapes of Wrath is situated during the Great Depression and Dust Bowl. The war couldn't resolve the Dust Bowl but I often hear those of the older generation equating more recent economic woes with the depression and insisting the answer to stimulating economies is war. I imagine their personal observations during that time period led them to such beliefs.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
293 (
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Fort Hood shooting - What are the questions? What are the answers?
Posted:
11/12/2009 12:57:00 PM
I am saying that in the new Obama era the Muslim extremist are supposed to Love us Remember because of his upbringing or whatever it was that he said made him better able to deal with them.
Okay... first of all... learn what all the words you use mean. "Extremist" in this context means radical. No one reasons with a radical cuz... well... they're radical in their thinking and cannot be reasoned with. And being radical has no more to do with being good Muslim than being an abortion clinic bomber has to do with being a good Christian. So, no, Obama never claimed that because of his unbringing he would be better equipped to deal with radicals. I do recall him stating something to the effect of hoping his background including some knowledge of Islam would prove helpful in dealings with Muslim nations. Considering Bush's gross ignorance in using words like "crusade" when speaking about strained US relations with Muslim countries, I would hope a doorknob could do a better job and am fairly confident that Obama at least has a better chance than Cheney's sock puppet.
Secondly, WTH is this alluded to connections between it possibly being a terrorist act and Obama being Commander in Chief? Are you saying Bush should have been put in front of a firing squad because a definite terorist attack happened on his watch?
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
278 (
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Shaving or trimming your privates at our age?
Posted:
11/12/2009 12:42:49 PM
I can't speak for all the ladies but am very happy to say I've never encountered a man with a clean shaven genital area. Since I'm happy about it you may assume (and correctly so) that I am not attracted to or turned on at the thought.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
200 (
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Obama drops the ball...again.
Posted:
11/12/2009 11:40:39 AM
For being as old as he is and in the political arena as long as he has been it seems that Obama has a lot to learn, especially in the area of procedural protocol and manners.
Maybe if Obama had been a bit more seasoned or had been in the political arena more he would not be dropping the political ball so often.
Those who oppose him can't seem to make up their minds if he is too young and inexperienced or fails to demonstrate the benefits of his apparent advanced age and a lifetime spent as an elected official. Yet they expect him to make split second decisions.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
289 (
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Fort Hood shooting - What are the questions? What are the answers?
Posted:
11/12/2009 11:36:09 AM
etourdi77, before you go worrying about terrorist attacks in America under Obama's watch, you best be asking the Bush administration why 2 years ago Hasan gave a very disturbing rant of the radical Muslim variety not even thinly veiled/disguised as a treatment presentation at a medical convention and nothing was ever done or investigated despite more than one person voicing concerns. Just like the Bush administration needs to be asked how and why the 9/11 attackers were in this country illegally having overstayed their's visas or used false information to obtain them in the first place. Or why Moussaui was able to raise red flags at more than one flight training school within the country but was still walking free.
But you're worried about what Obama knew and when?!
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
273 (
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Shaving or trimming your privates at our age?
Posted:
11/12/2009 11:25:18 AM
You always complain men don't talk enough in a relationship but why should we when the women we are with can't hold a conversation about something as mundane as pubic hair...... A younger woman would be far less likely to have that hang up.
Well, at least older women KNOW what pubic hair is, while some young ditzy broads would mistake it for a community toupee and go on a rant about how "that's just taking going green too far."
But, hey, you probably think young stuff is alotta fun to poke so go for it. And when you're ready for some mind-blowing sex, come lookin for a middle-aged lady and see if she'll give you the time of day after that BS.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
11 (
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Should a potential LTR's FAMILY BACKGROUND make a difference?
Posted:
11/12/2009 11:09:09 AM
I think it does impact and matter. For instance, my daughter's bf was raised in a privileged manner by elderly grandparents who adopted him and now he has spent the last 9 years providing care so they could remain in their home instead of going to a nursing facility. I don't mean he pays for it. I mean he *does* it. Subsequently, he has not worked a regular, steady job since high school (which he quit). He has cars, a motorcycle, and a seadoo. I think he suffers greatly from entitlement mentality and has no appreciation whatsoever of his many blessings, does not take care of those possessions, does not know the worth of money or appreciate how hard some work for it, and he's just a bitter, miserable person in general.
He thinks my family is all trash and will never amount to anything (or so the do-nothing, dropout in one of his fits told my daughter who works full time, attends college part time, and will obtain her degree in 2011).
Well... if my choices are work like a dog to get by v. begging, borrowing and stealing every dime I ever had or will have, just call me Buffy the B****hound.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
49 (
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Living expenses and pride..
Posted:
11/12/2009 10:58:08 AM
Op, would it bother you or injure your pride to ask him how he sees these things? Since you haven't asked for the money while he has been unemployed, perhaps he does see all the things he is doing as contributing in other ways. And, yes, he is; however, as the person with the most free time available, he SHOULD carry the burden of most of the housework and cooking. That being said, what he has saved you in mechanic/repair bills around your place and the money/time saved relating to your elderly mother cannot be overlooked.
If I may use my own experience as an example -- my bf was laid off within 2 months of moving in with me. He paid on time, if not in advance, unprompted, prior to that. After the lay off I did not ask for what I knew he did not have. He did take care of some maintenance and repair issues around the house which would have cost me as much or more than the rent he would have paid so, much as it seems you are saying, I considered it an equitable trade. However, we both knew he was expecting to come into some money and when that happened the first thing he did was pay 4 months back rent and 1 month in advance. He is still without steady work altho he manages to earn some money here and there. Then I came into some money and made a deal with him that I would buy the materials and he could perform the labor for some remodeling, and I would consider that 2 months rent. And my house looks FABULOUS!
So, yeah, there's gotta be some give and take but it doesn't sound like you are in a position to make any such deals. Personally, I wouldn't have been either had it not been for an unexpected windfall. However, he still throws a couple $100 into groceries every month. Is your man doing the grocery shopping too? If not, and if he seems able to shop in a manner consistent with your own practices, he should. Discussion about him performing that chore may also be a way to approach the money subject.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
21 (
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A gift idea for a woman who gives a birth to your child...
Posted:
11/12/2009 9:07:03 AM
I'm not saying jewelry is a bad idea. However, as one of the few women who does not care for jewelry, I wish to offer an alternative.
Obtain a nice pic of your partner gazing down lovingly at your newborn child... rather Madonna and Child like. Or have someone else take a pic of both of you in the same scenario. Then have an artist render a painting.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
26 (
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Living expenses and pride..
Posted:
11/12/2009 9:00:12 AM
First of all, I don't understand why you recommended an amount that is not equal to the cost of his maintenance. I understand not wanting him to feel like you brought him into the mix to help support you or your kids. But d***ed if I'd struggle to support myself and kids and then add another burden. Is his penis platinum?
I expect all people to meet their obligations in a timely manner, whether it is toward me or someone else. I would set the money to be due on a specific date (i.e., every Friday of the week, 1st and 15th of the month, or whatever). If I had to ask for it the request would include a warning that future incidents will result in eviction.
This has nothing to with pride. This is about what's right and not allowing an adult who should be able to take care of himself to essentially steal food from the mouths of your children.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
283 (
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Fort Hood shooting - What are the questions? What are the answers?
Posted:
11/12/2009 8:51:06 AM
^^^ There seem to be a lot of red flags regarding Hasan's personal beliefs and behaviors over the past few years which were either ignored or not thoroughly investigated by the military (and other intelligence gathering agencies). I guess that just goes to show that the words "military" and "intelligence" are still an oxymoron. While their failure to do something about Hasan BEFORE somone got hurt does not excuse or justify his actions, I'm much more interested in what they did and didn't do than I am in whatever trial of Hazan that will take place and be a slam dunk.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
193 (
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Obama drops the ball...again.
Posted:
11/12/2009 8:11:11 AM
Good, so I presume you ALSO remember the 90%+ popularity vote that his decision got from the American public.
Of course I remember he had support to enter Afghanistan. I also remember his and Laura's campaign to collect charitable contributions from US families to support innocent Afghani civilians. But I never heard another word about how much money was collected or saw how it benefited the intended recipients.
I recall concern regarding reports (later proven to be false) of nuclear ambitions and programs in Iraq. I do not recall support equal to that concerning Afghanistan.
My point is, time and time again he shows just how poorly suited he is for this job. His popularity is the 3rd fastest dropping in a LONG time of American Presidents (much slower than the tyrant before him even), and he has really jacked up the economy with all of his corporate bail-outs, and the end is not in sight.
Tomato.. tomahto, I guess. My observation has been that he has demonstrated how very well suited for the job he is.
Personally, I haven't noted a fast decline in his popularity/support. I guess I get my information from the wrong source. Or maybe one of us just doesn't comprehend very well cuz first you say it's fast and then you say it's "much slower than the tyrant before him." I don't know what to make of mixed messages like that but I do recall wanting 'overs' myself 6 months into Bush's administration.
Likewise, I see the jacked economy and the bailouts as having started with Bush. In fact, I believe it was Bush's administration which pulled a figure like $700 billion out of their collective arses "cuz we knew we'd need a really big number" (talk about fuzzy math) and heaven forbid they should take the time to arrive at a well-thought-out and logical conclusion.
Defend him all you want.
He doesn't need my defense as badly as some people need a reality check.
I don't hate him because he is black,muslim,or whatever else you claim he is/isnt.
I'm one of the few people who is likely to believe at least half the folks who don't like Obama dislike him based on their political leanings and not because of his skin color, religious beliefs, or because they've been duped by the misinformation campaign train. However, some folks do protest too much while appearing to have very little real knowledge on the subject matter. I leave you to figure how who is who.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
6 (
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)
Tips and Tricks of the Trade
Posted:
11/12/2009 7:23:43 AM
Two things:
1. In a household EVERYONE has responsibilities. Even a toddlers can be taught to put away toys. You can avoid being accused of being unfair or showing favortism by having the kids divide up the chores. One does the dividing but is the last one to pick from the choices. Just like a kid cutting a pie -- you'll never see something more evenly divided.
2. Learn to let go of perfectionism and schedules a little. If the kids don't do things quite the way you would have done it, chances are it's still probably acceptable. And many things, if they don't get done today, will still be there tomorrow. In the long run, these things aren't worth you and/or your kids being miserable. Pcik and choose your battles.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
15 (
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)
If you met someone why not hide or delete your profile
Posted:
11/10/2009 11:19:56 AM
I guess my bf just isn't insecure. He knows I'm still on the site and last weekend we helped with a local meet-n-greet. I'm very forthright about being in a committed relationship with him, and enjoy talking with friends I've made here as well as commenting on any thread subject I find interesting. I see my socialization here no different from interacting with a group of people in a RL public place.
You know what they say -- it's the accuser who has the mentality to commit such acts and they're just projecting their guilt onto others.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
4 (
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A Pictures Worth 1,000 words: Graham's on November 7, 2009!
Posted:
11/10/2009 10:47:40 AM
^^^ No wonder she still ain't called me to do lunch!
I thought y'all made quite the couple out on the dance floor.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
29 (
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Visitation: Dos and Don'ts
Posted:
11/10/2009 9:27:28 AM
Just to be clear, westernwildrose, it is not your request that was unreasonable (especially in consideration of your child's medical history). What is unreasonable is to say something in a way which conveys or give the impression that you have such control over someone else.
When my kids were younger and ill, first, I informed their father and gave him the option of exercising visitation at another time (he is a 'sympathetic puker' LOL). If the kids weren't well and he opted to exercise visitation, I made recommendations regarding their activity and care of the next x number of days. Those statements generally began with phrases such as "I encourage' or "I discourage." That way he had the information and felt free to act on it as he saw fit.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
2 (
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)
A Pictures Worth 1,000 words: Graham's on November 7, 2009!
Posted:
11/10/2009 9:08:25 AM
I have no pics but wanted to thank you for putting the event together. We had a good time -- danced some (tho not as much as you)... and my pool game was spot on.
WindRoper
Joined:
7/24/2007
Msg:
20 (
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Visitation: Dos and Don'ts
Posted:
11/9/2009 6:27:40 AM
Okay... I'm going to totally disregard the flu/HINI reason and stick to the basic concern which is how divorced parents can co-parent successfully in such situations.
First, do no use the children for mouthpieces. If you have something to ask or say, convey it directly to the other parent, away from the children. Even if you think it is a non-issue thing the other parent will not take exception with, have discussions privately away from the children.
Second, recognize boundaries. In joint custody each parent sets everything about their household and the other has no control or say (barring issues of abuse, neglect, etc.). It is helpful if parents can agree on some things and provide the children with consistency. In other custody situations the lines are more broad and gray; however (again, barring abuse, neglect, etc.), it is in the children's best interests if the parents can agree and work together. Do NOT use the children as pawns with statements such as "If you do (or do not) do XYZ when Lil' Johnny is with you, I will take you back to court or prevent/restrict visitation."
Specific to your situation, your ex was wrong to discuss it with the kids or say you are stupid, but you were wrong to put him in a position where the children knew of your demand/expectation/request. He is their father and he cares about the children just as much as you do. They were in no more danger at church than they would have been at school. Personally, I probably would have kept my kids from anywhere they did not absolutely have to go. That doesn't make what he did wrong. Just different.
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