Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women. chat & forums.

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Thread: Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women.

DoUCanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 2311 (view)

Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women. Posted: 11/12/2008 9:07:36 PM
When I was actively participating and after several rewrites of my profile and some decent up to date photos I began receiving two or three emails a week from interested women on each of the three internet dating sites I belonged to. Though most were nice, they were not what I was looking for. My luck at soliciting responses from initiated contact fared about one response for every ten sent. Those that went on to phone calls fewer and those that I actually met fewer yet and of those I have met one that is my match. We have the license, we have the rings, we'll be Mr&Mrs very shortly. So take heart be persistent it takes work rewrite that profile get some decent pictures and be a gentlemen with the ladies and good luck.

DoUCanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Dealing with Bigger and Better? Posted: 11/9/2008 7:43:08 PM
It's easy. First you have to know what/who you are looking for. Sure there is the physical aspect of what one may find pleasing but more important are the personality traits that one finds desirable. Shared interests also play a large part as does commonality of background and life goals yet with sufficient differences to have some mystery and excitement. As I stated in previous thread dating is an interview process and not everyone is qualified for the job but you will know when the right comes along if you know who you are looking for.

DoUCanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 53 (view)

Controlled Emotions Posted: 11/8/2008 1:10:38 AM
As an optimist I only expect good for myself but as a realist I know that not every woman I meet will be a match to the degree necessary for an LTR. I have met many wonderful women and a few not so wonderful as far as I'm concerned, that doesn't mean they wouldn't be a perfect fit for another just not for me. I don't believe in love at first sight lust at first sight would be a more apt description but my days of wanton lust are long past though the embers still burn hot with the right woman. My life is too short to waste time on endless flings when a life companion is what I desire. We may call it dating but it is an interview process if a LTR is our goal and to do it well which may mean holding back until we feel we can make an informed decision. For me this has always meant dating for some time and getting the puzzle pieces to fit before allowing myself to fall in love but then it's soooooooooooooooooooooooooo good.

DoUCanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 267 (view)

Men over 45 and facial hair Posted: 10/13/2008 6:49:39 PM
I've had beards, mustaches, goatee's over the years but been clean shaven since my red beard turned gray. No one take me for my age but I'm always surprised when I meet guys ten years younger that look ten years older because of facial hair.

DoUCanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

why do they want a carbon copy?? Posted: 10/6/2008 7:26:51 PM
Gee, your right both my wives had great butts and so does my SO.

DoUCanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 69 (view)

The first time you realize that you're sexy Posted: 10/5/2008 7:34:26 PM
When women I dated started tearing my clothes off and telling me they had to have me.

DoUCanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

In Love: What happens if I wait? Posted: 10/3/2008 11:09:43 AM
Ah, those three little words! I've said them many times but not to many women. I like to be pretty sure that I want to be with her for a long, long time before I utter them. The relationship will have been going on for a number of months and I generally feel that she feels the same but going with "I think I'm falling in love with you" or "I could spend the rest of my life with you" can be a hedge if I'm not sure but are also means to open the conversation to where the relationship is going and where ones feelings are.

DoUCanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Relationship of convenience? Posted: 10/3/2008 10:49:54 AM
Love can make little personal quirks acceptable like whether the TP is over or under but I think they would get old real quick if just for convenience.

DoUCanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

alcoholic behavior.... can that change? Posted: 10/3/2008 10:23:31 AM
His problems go much deeper than his drinking!

DoUCanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 58 (view)

He wont put out......... Posted: 10/1/2008 10:51:32 AM
If looking for a LTR he may want to make sure other aspects of the relationship work before getting intimate. It's quite possible that he has had relationships where sex occurred early and then the relationship did not work out and he does not want to repeat that. Or, strange as it may seem to some on the forums he may have religious convictions.

DoUCanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 721 (view)

Curvy Vs Slim Posted: 10/1/2008 10:05:23 AM
If they block out the sun they're too big if they disappear when sideways to thin.

DoUCanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Why did he get so offended? Posted: 9/30/2008 4:45:26 PM
Your not the bad person. You remained true to your beliefs you should be proud of your self. The guy is a jerk. Just remember you don't have to have sex with a guy if you don't want to and he should respect your wishes.

DoUCanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Why do the men on here,freeze up? Posted: 9/30/2008 4:36:46 PM
Not me. I prefer to talk on the phone. I can tell much more about a person in conversation than an impersonal email or IM besides I can talk faster than I can type.

DoUCanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Women who work in a prison? Posted: 9/30/2008 4:30:01 PM
As long as she's an employee no, an inmate scary.

DoUCanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Is it OK to go really slow? Posted: 9/30/2008 4:28:12 PM
Could it be fear he won't be into you as much as you are into him? I think you have let your hopes and desires for this possible relationship be more important than may turn out. Although you have made a connection online and by phone there is no guarantee that things will go smoothly at first meet. You'll never know until you meet. As far as taking it slow, just tell him your new at this and want to take it slow. If he has interest in a LTR and you it should be no problem.

DoUCanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Long Term/Soulmate in profile... Posted: 9/30/2008 3:00:32 AM
What the problem here is is semantics. I originally had LTR but changed it to dating as many hoping for long term feel there may be a rush to judgment even when that is the hoped for outcome. I did in fact have one woman message me that she was interested but changed her mind after I replied, in follow up communications she mentioned my profile said dating even though in the body of about me I stated my goal in dating would result in an LTR she further replied we wouldn't be a match because she wanted to get married. Soulmate used quite often but for some reason does not feel right to me one of those words you need to use to give your profile and your ideal mate a magical quality like some of that New Age krap.

DoUCanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Who would you date during a massive recession? Posted: 9/30/2008 2:36:26 AM
If the economy tanks which I doubt. We can always hit the rails and ride to Hoverville. Of course your government will come to the rescue just as they are now for the financial wizards of Wall St. Free cheese?

DoUCanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Huston : WE HAVE A PROBLEM! Posted: 9/30/2008 2:04:22 AM
Could be the start of football season. Take heart I'm sure things will pick up.

DoUCanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Constructive criticism would be appreciated. Posted: 9/30/2008 2:01:11 AM
Interesting, very interesting. Bet there's a lot of women out there looking to chat with a god.

DoUCanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Hey, have a look at this Posted: 9/30/2008 1:49:59 AM
To the point. Need to say more won't allow the post otherwise.

DoUCanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Ladies, review my profile please. Posted: 9/30/2008 12:08:39 AM
I don't like needy, controlling, or manipulative people; treat me as you would like to be treated, please. I prefer honesty, and tend to be bluntly honest. Yes, I am divorced, but I bear no serious grudge against the ex and I have for the most part ditched any baggage. Except for the rare encounter we do not communicate. The first part is negative turn it a positive such as, "I prefer self assured, confident and independent women that have an optimistic take on life" treat me as you would like to be treated, [B]please[/B]. The "please" sounds more like a pleading are you caring baggage from a previous relationship, you've been screwed over? How about a generous of heart and keeper of "The Golden Rule" I prefer honesty, and tend to be bluntly honest. I value honesty in myself and others. No need to be blunt shows insensitivity to others. Yes, I am divorced, but I bear no serious grudge against the ex and I have for the most part ditched any baggage. Except for the rare encounter we do not communicate. Lose it. Plenty of time later to talk about ex's we're concerned with the you of today. Hope it helps, just remember what it cost.

DoUCanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

rings. Posted: 9/29/2008 11:17:33 PM
It should be what you can afford in a style that she likes. You can get lesser quality stone, nobody but an expert will know, and an enhancer wedding band to complement it if your not into matching wedding bands.

DoUCanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

help! anyone here a handyman or plumber? Posted: 9/29/2008 10:57:08 PM
what ever happend to the good old, well made toilet parts? maybe these are designed for water conservation? They're made cheap so you have to replace them every few years. Stuff ain't made to last anymore. They aren't conserving water if they're leaking. Turn off the water for the night till proper parts can be secured for repair or a good toilet that can take a wad of paper down in one flush. Cost about $300 bucks.

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

WHAT is our anniversary?!? lol Posted: 9/26/2008 2:55:22 PM
I wouldn't remember either. Isn't enough that your together?

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 40 (view)

Women Abandoned By Their Dads ~ How Has it Effected Your Love Life? Posted: 9/26/2008 1:03:03 PM
Gee, I may be an expert on this or at least a magnet. both my wives lost their dads at 13 and I've have had LTR with another dated two more who's fathers had passed away while they were in that age range. To tell the truth other than my first wife with whom I eventually felt I was some sort of father figure and raised until she could take on the world I can see no difference than other women I've dated. I guess if you are having problems with your relationships an absent father is as good a scapegoat as any. No sense taking responsibility and after all he was a man and we all know what that means.

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Are guys more accepting than gals? Posted: 9/26/2008 12:00:59 AM
Girls believe in Fairy Tales, they think they'll meet prince charming but he may be packaged as a toad but by the magical powers of her kiss the transformation will take place. Guys believe in a firm butt and a nice rack.

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Is staying overnight required etiquette when you've been intimate? Posted: 9/24/2008 7:48:36 PM
I sleep like a rock, I wouldn't know if your there. I've stayed the night if invited and work was not an issue in the morning and vice versa if at my place.

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

Pre-date communication Posted: 9/24/2008 7:21:47 PM
The date was set for Saturday and I still hadn't heard from him so I assumed that he was too busy with work to come and would call me to reschedule to meet at another time. I opened my email on Saturday morning to see an email he left for me late on Friday telling me that he would like to come on Saturday. By this time, I had assumed he wasn't coming so I made other plans. You blew it, should of canceled your other plans, they were after all spur of the moment. On the other hand When I have made a date via email I always purpose a phone call the day before just to verify time and place and or in case something unforeseen pops up.

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

Been there done that. Posted: 9/24/2008 8:18:51 AM
If she really cares for you and wants to get back together there is no better way than to broach the subject at a place and time that has meaning. If she just wanted to get together for old time sake any convenient pub would do. I would fully expect conversation to go with a bit of catching up on the time apart, then a nostalgic look at the good times you have had and how she has missed you and wishes things could be as they were. If instead she talks about her new beau she is a cold hearted B and just wants to screw with your head. From my experience it is the former and my reunion lasted 20+ years till my wife passed away.

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

What things are too soon to ask? Posted: 9/24/2008 12:41:39 AM
And they say guys move too fast. I think you scared him. I had "Dating" listed although LTR was my goal and so stated in my profile.

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 86 (view)

Does it really matter any more? Posted: 9/24/2008 12:18:25 AM
When they drop me in the ground and throw dirt in my face I'll have plenty of me time. Until then I rather be with a friend and lover. Don't get me wrong I like me and don't need but want to share the adventure. Besides old guys look weird riding roller coasters alone.

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

A 1st for me; anyone had this happen? Posted: 9/22/2008 12:09:09 PM
Men hate it when they think you are too needy Bingo, we have a winner.

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

I think I just messed up. Posted: 9/22/2008 11:16:43 AM
There must be something special about this girl if your attracted to her. Beauty is more than just looks. A great personality will last longer than a youthful appearance. One of the most beautiful women I ever met would not be given a second look if she was walking down the street yet anyone that knew her thought her a beauty, it came from within.

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Need some thoughts on my profile anyone? Posted: 9/17/2008 11:36:53 PM
OP, I took a look at your profile and I find it unpretentious and genuine. Could use a spell check and better punctuation. Give it time.

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

When a guy says he wants a fit or healthy girl Posted: 9/17/2008 11:15:49 PM
Just spent a week hiking in the Colorado Rockies 6000-10,000 ft with my GF, her idea that's fit and healthy.

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 56 (view)

Do most people still turn their noses up at the idea of meeting someone online ? Posted: 9/17/2008 11:03:37 PM
I met my present SO online, never would have met otherwise. She works at home and seldom went out, I'm in construction often have long daily commute and am long past the club scene. After twenty years of not dating I found this the most efficient way to met the greatest number of women that might match up with me. Hey, it worked! Why would I care what others think about how I found happiness, If they care about me they should just be glad I found it.

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Low sex drive Posted: 9/16/2008 11:04:04 PM
You may just, if your lucky, find a woman that will wake up your desire.

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

Good looking women and sex Posted: 9/16/2008 8:58:19 AM
Not true in my experience.

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

When one invests more in relationship.... Posted: 9/16/2008 8:55:10 AM
They're in love with an ideal not the reality.

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 122 (view)

Dating a Religious Zealot is a challenge Posted: 9/11/2008 11:10:04 AM
Some folks are just predisposed to the need of a controlling other force than the known laws of the physical world to give them comfort that there's more than the temporal existence they now have. I do find the ten commandants a good basis for an orderly society, other religions have similar rules do onto others as you would have done onto to you is a pretty good way to live and if there is a god he should know how that's how I try to conduct my life. Don't need a zealot to show me the way.

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Ive been seeing this girl for a couple weeks now and it seems like its going nowhere Posted: 9/9/2008 9:32:34 PM
...she needs a date to the wedding, but not willing to give a little love? Fagit about it. My thought as well.

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

High maintenance definitions Posted: 9/8/2008 11:33:22 AM
My late wife was always perfect in dress, hair and makeup, even on a camping trip. I filled a pickup with with cloths for donation over a hundred pair of shoes, many identical but in different colors and that was just 'summer stuff' haven't gotten around to her trunks of 'winter stuff' and still have a walk in closet I haven't touched. Packing light for a weekend meant only three bags, not including the necessities bag of cosmetics, hairdryer, steam rollers. I always got a kick out of it. She wasn't insecure about her looks, on the contrary she was very self assured. It was just part of who she was. If she said she was going to be ready at a certain time she was. It's only high maintenance, if you think it is. She was 'hot' to me anytime.

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 48 (view)

Guys - which would you prefer? Posted: 9/8/2008 10:02:20 AM
Why does there have to be a choice? My late wife's nick name was "Felix" as in the "Odd Couple" given by her sons not me yet there was no lack of intimacy. Oh, by the way I did the cooking and kept the books,cause I was better at it than she. It's called shared responsibility.

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

At What Point Is A Guy In A Relationship In His Mind Or Does He Really Know? Posted: 9/8/2008 9:39:10 AM
For me it's about 3 mos. if it's going to happen. I've had 5 ltr's as an adult in my life in three I knew I was "in love" and wanted to make them permanent in the other two I liked and felt affection but did not see a future, nice women, just didn't see forever with them. First lasted 13 yrs till she wanted out. Second lasted 21 yrs till she passed away. Third working on forever. Don't know about others though, just me.

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

One for the widows/widowers Posted: 9/8/2008 8:59:57 AM
I may be different than others. I'm too damn practical, though I would gladly go back to my old life, the good and the bad of living with a wonderful but opinionated woman, life is for the living. We should, for those of us who look to the future, get on with living. If you had a good marriage, there is no reason you cannot find another who also wants to continue life in a loving relationship. I feel that my willingness to seek another life partner does honor the life and love of my late wife. It is because of our quality relationship that I have the belief in the future. That was my late wifes enduring gift to me.

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

sexual gratification and feelings. Posted: 8/20/2008 10:28:09 PM
I've found that if i loved and felt loved that the sex just keeps getting better. Do i love deeper does the bond get stronger? I believe so. But to with hold sex or use it as a weapon would surly imply that love is an issue.

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Wondering Why People box themselves in with Specifics Posted: 8/15/2008 6:08:53 AM
I have viewed many profiles with "lists" of requirements but alas I failed to meet their standards and those that I did failed to meet mine. Lucky for me I found one that didn't have a "list" and we have gotten along quite well.

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

recently widowed Posted: 8/15/2008 5:54:32 AM
Sorry for your loss. I won't try to tell you when is long enough, that only you can decide. From my perspective and I lost my wife June of 07, I'd be with her today loving and sharing our life if she hadn't died but my life didn't end with her death nor my love for her and the joy she had giving me over our twenty years together are sweet memories that shall always be mine. The practical side is that life goes on and I can go forward or try to hold on to what is no longer mine to hold. I've decided to write a new chapter in my life...........

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 50 (view)

The person you are interested in is already retired ... you are not. Posted: 8/3/2008 8:05:45 PM
I'm three years from retirement and do want to travel and not be tied down by a partner who wants to continual their career. I support any that do it's just not what I'm looking for. I realized this when I first started dating again and found that many women five to ten years younger were just receiving degrees after long marriages and were looking to put their new education to good use. Let me say I was not only looking for younger women but also those my age and a bit older. Finding someone who is at the same place in life and has the same desires and expectations is important. I'm not saying it won't work for some but not for me. Luckily I've found someone who shares this vision of our future and time line.

doUcanoe

Joined: 7/28/2007

Msg: 176 (view)

Could I fall in love again at 56? Do I want to? Posted: 7/19/2008 3:04:50 PM
I have at 58 and yes I wanted to.

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