to the women over 30 and 'Undecided' on children... chat & forums.

Posted In Forum:

Home

MyForums

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: to the women over 30 and 'Undecided' on children...

cheddarmelt

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

to the women over 30 and 'Undecided' on children... Posted: 1/3/2008 11:51:16 AM
For me, I am stuck with the "undecided" or "unsure" selections. Here's why: I don't have kids. I want them. I can't have them. If I say "yes," then I'm being dishonest with those men who want kids and are looking for someone to have them with. But if I say "no" then I turn off all the wonderful men who have kids. And I'd make a wonderful stepmother. There is no option that says, "Infertile, but great stepmom material."

cheddarmelt

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

are guys less attracted to women with a cane ? Posted: 1/2/2008 12:32:05 PM
in 2005 I was rear-ended by a drunk driver. I don't always use my cane, because I don't always need it. But I always have it with me when traveling. I invested in a folding one with an interesting pattern on it (maps, because I am a cartographer)--and I get a LOT of positive comments on it. I've been asked many times how I came by it. While the injuries slow me down, they don't stop me completely. I still hike (but at my own pace) and travel and explore. I use my cane as an extension of myself, reaching things that are otherwise out of reach, and using it as a third "foot" when climbing, for added stability--even using it as a camera monopod under poor lighting conditions. I am vibrant and full of life. As long as I portray that personality, I am not at a loss for positive attention. However, when I am in pain, I do not project the best side of myself, and my cane becomes a symbol of all the anger and loss and grief that comes with being disabled at a relatively young age. I resent the very object that I cannot live without. And when I'm hurting, may the gods help any organization that is not ADA compliant! They will have a s***storm on their hands if they don't accommodate my minor requests! Attitude goes a long way, as far as how people react to my cane. On dating websites I post several pics of myself, and the cane will be in at least one shot, but not my main photo. I have one photo I haven't posted yet that is just hilarious! I posed in one of those cardboard-cutout-type things; this one was an astronaut, and there was a flag in one of the astronaut's hands. So I posed my cane in the other hand! Humor is often disarming. So laugh when possible, be vibrant and sassy, and treat your cane as what it is: a multi-purpose tool, a fashion accessory, and the only lethal weapon one can legally take on an airplane! Fortis fortuna adjuvat! (Fortune favors the bold!) Best of luck to you!

cheddarmelt

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Alternatives to coffeehouses? Posted: 1/2/2008 10:26:37 AM
What kinds of places have you met someone for a "coffee"-type first date? Whenever I'm asked out "for coffee," I have to counter with another suggestion, because I am allergic to coffee. If it were just a matter of not liking the taste, I could at least sit in a coffeehouse and order something else--but I react to the coffee-bean dust in the air. Where else could I suggest going, that would have the same kind of social setting? I don't really drink alcohol much (nor do my dates, in general), so a bar is not a good choice either. Tea rooms and smoothie shops might work. Any other good ideas?

cheddarmelt

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 177 (view)

Dating East Indian Men Posted: 1/2/2008 9:41:20 AM
I was married to a man from Calcutta. I found that those qualities that attracted me to him were the same qualities that attract me to a man of ANY race. After our divorce, the men I dated included East Indians, and the same things turned me off as would men from any race. Anyone whose message to me is difficult to decipher will have a hard time attracting me. Your posts were coherent and not full of atrocious grammatical errors or the "u r 2 sxy" kind of message. Many messages I've received from Indian men are difficult or unpleasant for me to read. I think that may be part of what turns women off about many East Indian men online. I get those illegible messages from men of all backgrounds, certainly, but in my experience the mix seems to run a bit rich from the subcontinent. I'm not sure why. Good luck to you! You seem like a nice guy, and smart to boot.

cheddarmelt

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

What's your worst break-up story? Posted: 8/7/2007 3:58:23 PM
A week and a half ago my then-fiance called me at 4:30 in the morning and started in on the chitchat. Then out of the blue he called it off and told me to go back to bed. I still don't know what happened. But I do know that whatever happened, it's over. I don't care if it was cold feet or what; I can't just pretend it didn't happen and go on with a relationship, even if he were to come back into my life. I seriously think he's dealing with a mood disorder, and it's been getting worse. I'm still trying to get deposits back. The wedding would have been in three months. Losing him is one thing; losing his three kids is quite another, and that part I'll never get over.

cheddarmelt

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 94 (view)

Beware: eHarmony sucks... Posted: 8/6/2007 3:42:58 PM
eHarmony does suck. The matches I was getting were all intelligent and well-educated (yay), but they were all exercise junkies looking for activity partners. I walk with a cane, so that's not a match. I wrote to the customer support people, and they had me fill out the questionnaire again. This time I painted myself as a lazy couch potato who's permanently glued to my Barcalounger. My friends would laugh. I still got matched with long-distance hikers, cyclists, and guys in love with their soccer balls. I wrote back to them about this. They wrote me an email explaining that perhaps I just needed to put up more photos of myself. I wrote back, saying they had to be kidding--the only reason eHarmony matched a "cripple" with nothing but jocks is that I didn't show enough cheesecake?!? eHarmony sent me a formal apology.

Show ALL Forums