Christmas is coming - how do you deal with Santa and your ex? chat & forums.

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Thread: Christmas is coming - how do you deal with Santa and your ex?

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 81 (view)

Christmas is coming - how do you deal with Santa and your ex? Posted: 11/9/2009 3:58:13 PM
The kids are with me Christmas day so I always paid for the Santa gifts, wrapped and put them under the tree. X would buy presents also. My kids asked me once why I didn't get them any presents for Christmas and I said Mom was in charge of food, shelter and clothing. This past year my kids found out the truth about Santa. They both looked at me and said so MOM you bought all those presents???? I busted out laughing....Yes and I also ate the Chrismas cookies that you left for Santa also.... Make your life easy and buy the gifts. It will be much more peaceful that way.

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

Visitation: Dos and Don'ts Posted: 11/9/2009 3:47:50 PM
I know you are concerned about your children. You can convey those concerns to your x but not in front of the kids. It is x's time so what he does with the information is up to him.

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 46 (view)

Am I wrong? Posted: 11/9/2009 3:44:18 PM
Seems like you and your daughter are happy with the way things are...why change it?

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 49 (view)

Ok, here is a question. Posted: 11/2/2009 5:24:10 PM
You need to looking into a babysitter for before and after school. Many of us work long hours and have to pay for babysitters or before and aftercare until the children are old enough and can handle being alone for a time. I hope you have a babysitter for when they get home because you are away to long for them to be alone. Have the babysitter meet the bus.

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Not a parent ... but welcome the advice Posted: 7/6/2009 7:09:18 AM
Waiting for the kids to go off to college in 8-10 years is not my idea of short term. You have seen how he deals with HIS children. It is up to you to decide if you can live like that....Good luck

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

JULY 5TH BBQ WITH KARAOKE & DANCING Posted: 7/5/2009 3:25:46 PM
Had a good time meeting some fishies!!!

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 40 (view)

What the heck are grits? Posted: 7/4/2009 4:55:32 PM
Thanks I never knew what grits were...

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

So I got a number what do I do now. Posted: 6/27/2009 4:28:47 PM
I am just wondering if you called yet...

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 170 (view)

Would you date a person with DISABLED CHILDREN? Posted: 6/13/2009 8:35:25 AM
I believe some people just cannot handle situations like special needs kids, care of elderly parents etc. Some people can and then there are those unique people in the world that handle it with grace.I cannot fault someone for being in the first category.

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 121 (view)

Any single parents of disabled children?? Posted: 5/10/2009 10:17:34 AM
Happy Mother's Day to all the Special Needs Moms out there. You are doing an awesome job. I have a d with cerebral palsy. She is 11 and a great kid. We are working on getting her a service dog. I am more excited about getting a dog than trying to find a date. Ahhh...the things we will do for our kids.

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 155 (view)

Should I expect a thank you after paying for the meal, etc.? Posted: 5/10/2009 10:06:09 AM
Yes a thank you is appropriate. If she does not say that I tells you something about her. Your choice to keep dating or not.

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 82 (view)

Doing the math: 200/25/0 Posted: 5/10/2009 10:00:42 AM
If you had a good time on the first date at the end of that date ask her for a second date. Let us know how that strategy works!!

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

High Conflict Divorce Venting Posted: 1/28/2009 7:14:24 AM
You can only control what you do or say.....Whatever her issues she is the Mother of your children. I have seen posts (a number of them) of how mean, etc she is....we all get that and unfortunately that is your situation....It is what it is and you cannot do anything about it but continue to stay away/out of conflict with her.

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 37 (view)

Picking up/ dropping off disagreement Posted: 11/21/2008 10:26:21 AM
It would be easiest to specify this in the divorce agreement...I don't agree with many poster above about he picks her up then you go get her after visitation....I don't know what your custody/physical/joint is but it sounds like you have physical which means all other driving...to lessons, friends etc....I think it is the dad's responsibility to pick up drop off...

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

Holidays and the ex Posted: 11/4/2008 9:47:13 AM
The visitation schedule that was established for us was he has them Christmas eve and I on Christmas. Before the divorce the kids "loved" the big breakfast on Christmas morning thing with dad putting the toys together. We had a rocky divorce relationship at first but I wanted the Christmas tradition to remain the same for the kids. So every Christmas morning the x comes about 6-7am to be here when the kids wake up and his parents come around 8am and we all have a big breakfast together. They leave around 11am and I get set for my family and friends to come at 1pm.

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 75 (view)

This may be venting but.... Posted: 10/31/2008 7:11:44 PM
Groan.....I am a woman of few words....

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 46 (view)

my boyfriend gives his kids everything they want Posted: 10/31/2008 6:52:39 PM
You and your boyfriend have a different parenting style. Is this something you can live with or is this issue big enough to move on to someone more likeminded. I am sure there are many more differences and now is the time to explore them and see if a compromise can be reached or do you step back or do you leave.

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 114 (view)

Would you give up custody of your kids and move away just to be with a new partner? Posted: 10/31/2008 6:46:50 PM
This is the easiest question I have ever encountered on this forum....In a word No....Such a simple word....NO

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

How to get past the fear of rejection Posted: 10/26/2008 4:44:40 PM
By your own stats (which are not bad by the way) 90% rejection so try this: Ask out 100 women... you already know 90 will say no for one reason or another (just get past these 90) and 10 will have at least one date with you.....

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Stocks seriously down globally. Posted: 10/6/2008 4:38:49 PM
The price of gold looked pretty nice today. Buy low sell high

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 131 (view)

Sure-Fire First-Date Killers Posted: 10/5/2008 8:46:36 AM
Thanks for the laughs....This thread was very entertaining....Sorry to hear about some of the dates but the fact that you are still on POF shows you can get knocked down but if you want something badly enough you can keep getting back up.... I wish you all terrific dates!!!!

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 144 (view)

Would you reject someone because of something in their profile? Posted: 10/5/2008 8:32:48 AM
I avoid the profiles that say Love the outdoors....I like being outdoors and love the beach or being on a boat but if love the outdoors means camping, hiking for days then I am not the woman for you... Now if you mean the great outdoors with the grill going and having drinks in the backyard then I am right there with you!!

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 310 (view)

Is red hot romance possible after 50? Posted: 10/5/2008 6:25:33 AM
Yes, I want a red hot romance and I won't settle for less.....The stuff movies are made of...

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Must love Dogs- Dog lovers walk - 20th Sept Posted: 9/19/2008 4:38:27 PM
My first thought was NJ also...ah....so close.....

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 36 (view)

My sister told me it's awkward Posted: 8/9/2008 6:00:54 PM
Just my two cents...but I would think your sister is secure in your love for her....You have proved that to her time and time again. Unfortunately, she is still looking for her mom to love her like that and she will probably try anything to get that love. Unfortunately your mom is someone that can never be as wonderful as you are... It is not right but give her time....

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

she stayed until she met someone at least Posted: 8/9/2008 5:52:42 PM
Your ex must have lost her mind....You are going to have to be there 100% for those girls....Obviously counseling for them as suggested above and conseling for you....you must be pretty angry and they will pick up on that...

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Need advice from parents of children with disabilities Posted: 6/20/2008 7:08:30 AM
Hi, My daughter has cerebral palsy and walks with a walker or crutches which makes her very "visible". We would go to the park, pool and people always stared at her. I taught her to engage people (which you child may not be able to do) and talked about having cp with her, her feeling about being different etc. At 3 1/2 she was in a out of district school for special needs children. She had the opportunity to see and interact with other kids with disabilities so she "knew" she was not the only one in the world. I would also have her watch shows on TV about disabled people that are doing incredible things despite their disability. I keep reinforcing how smart, beautiful and unique she is... In the area of physically doing things...she goes to the park and to the community pool and many other activities. She wants to do things other kids do so to the maximum extent possible I find a way to make that happen. I have gotten many accommodations at amusement parks, waterparks, our community pool by talking with the director or staff so I can allow her to do things as safely as possible and like other kids do them. In the area of schooling....Remember you are your child's best advocate and you know your child best. You did not mention what the school is doing about her communication needs one being a communication board or Assistive Technology. My daughter was taught some sign language and so was I so she could communicate before she could speak...The issue of fine motor skills was there to do this so do not know if this is an option. A big thing here I see from your post is she needs to communicate in a way you will understand so she can express herself. You should be up the district's butt to get this in place it will help both of you. Also the evaluations the district did on your daughter....There are certain tests that may not be the best for kids with cp...you may want to look into independent educational evaluations at district expense in ALL areas of her disability. I have some great websites and forums that you can get so much info on... Ok well I have gone on long enough...also check out your local ELKS organization they run special needs programs may be one district office near you. If you need additional information please do not hesitate to send me a message. We special needs parents need to stick together !!!!

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

An observation? Posted: 6/12/2008 7:06:47 AM
I was thinking about this recently OP...Others seem to have so many interests and activities compared to them I seem boring. I have put "my" interest on the backburner for now while raising children. I do not have much time on a weekly basis or a large discretionary income to try/do many things I would like ie travel more, buy a motorcycle, take dance lessons, go boating, go scuba diving...But all will be in my future. I understand exactly what you mean...It is not about the choices we have made but how those choices have affected our personal desires.

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 65 (view)

Single parents I have a question........ Posted: 6/8/2008 4:55:11 PM
Did not read all the posts but your son is already on medication... Do you see the same behaviors at home? Have you discussed with the school different ways to help him with attention/appropriate behaviors/times. Do some research online I would not leave it up to the school to make accommodations. You may have to go in after researching He needs a daily planner etc. What do you think? Do you think there are issues?Or is it your son is bored in class/teacher is not creative etc?

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

What would you do? Parents are over 3 hours late Posted: 6/8/2008 8:14:30 AM
There would be no more playdates or sleepovers with that kid.

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

i need some advice from anyone please HELP!!!!!!!!! Posted: 6/1/2008 2:57:24 PM
Sorry to hear about your children's dad not stepping up to the plate. Unfortunately as other posters have said the only one you can control is you. So get some counselling for yourself to deal with the emotions and contact some agencies to see if services are available for your little ones. We have Division of Developmental Disabilities here in the states that offers respise among other programs. Yes, and you need to contact an attorney to work out a parenting plan and child support.

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Hello, New Jersey! Posted: 3/20/2008 3:01:17 PM
By the looks of the last Staten Island get together you do a great job...Jersey could use all the help it can get!!!!

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Is there a god? Posted: 3/7/2008 9:33:26 AM
Faith as small as a mustard seed....

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 354 (view)

Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married? Posted: 3/6/2008 4:45:48 PM
Hahhah you are funny OP....

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

Support for a Disabled Young Adult Posted: 2/26/2008 5:31:45 PM
Your daughter needs life time support from her dad. Also you are under a tremendous amout of stress taking care of all your children. The other special needs parents on this board know what you are talking about. Not only is there her current care but what happens when you die. Here is in states we have special needs trusts that need to be set up. But what will happen to her once you pass away and then your x. Who will be responsible for her and take care of her like you did? Please don't answer on this forum...I can see you have had a tough time with some folks that just don't understand. Just some thoughts to think about.

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Profile Review Requested....From a Female Perspective Posted: 2/26/2008 4:59:00 PM
I liked what you said in your profile. You sense of humor showed and made me laugh (in a positive way). Liked all your pictures because it showed a little different view of you in each one...meaning relaxed, dressed, causal etc. Good luck with fishing..

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Should I have hit-on a mom with her kid at a dept. store? Posted: 2/20/2008 3:45:22 PM
Next time that happens just write on your business card that you think she is beautiful and if unattached you would like to take her for coffee, drink. This way you don't miss an opportunity and are not hitting on her while her child is present. If you do not have business cards make some up with your name, tele and email Simple.

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

What do you do to unwind? Posted: 2/17/2008 7:17:54 PM
I love to do some of what the above posters said and also lately love to try out new recipes...

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

Fair Hair Blue Eyes = Keep Fishin ?? Posted: 1/27/2008 8:35:58 AM
You can choose to believe that statistic and where it came from or not. It certainly would not be empowering thought to be carrying around.

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 64 (view)

If a guy got arrested while on a date with you for a warrent Posted: 1/27/2008 8:24:15 AM
I am not looking to date someone that has outstanding warrants, or has been arrested. I am also not looking for people that get involved in bar fights. If it would "only" be for outstanding parking tickets that would tell me you can't take care of your own business. I am also not looking to date people that have restraining orders against them from ex's or otherwise. Your business, but I do not not live in that world.

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

how to deal Posted: 1/25/2008 5:19:47 PM
This may not be the proper forum for this type of discussion and the insight and wisdom you may need. I will send you mail on a website for abuse that has info, forums etc...

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Transforming suffering into enlightenment Posted: 1/25/2008 5:11:50 PM
Are you also on the Tony Robbins forums?

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Can I get a Mama's advice please? Posted: 1/25/2008 4:55:02 PM
Offer to pay but let her if she says no. And Happy Birthday!!!

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 46 (view)

How many women would get married again Posted: 1/15/2008 9:38:39 AM
I would get married again... uh but...but....I have to start dating first

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

when parents ignore a possible learning disability should it be neglect Posted: 1/15/2008 9:31:58 AM
There is much conflict about the issue of ADD/ADHD. A school district wanted you tested and Mom said no. Mom does have the absolute right and authority. She may have done some research, talked with professional or maybe not agreed with all the latest info over ADD/ADHD. Now that you have the diagnosis, it is up to you how you want to proceed.

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

new to single with kids Posted: 1/9/2008 9:46:07 AM
Do you have to discuss it now with the kids? You could just say you are going out with friends...I would be more inclined to tell them if you were getting serious with someone.

4umaybe

Joined: 8/3/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

What does I want someone to who makes me laugh mean to you? Posted: 1/4/2008 4:52:57 PM
Life is often tough enough. When I say I want someone who makes me laugh, I want that person to see the lighter side of things most of the time.

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