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andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

Not your typical confidence question...? Posted: 1/19/2009 2:32:16 PM
I think men and women would agree that the confidence they are speaking of, is being confident enough to be at eases with himself, not to get all mess up and freakish if something goes wrong, and a man who is especially unintimidateds by large gatherings of people he perhaps do not know.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 184 (view)

Why are so many women over 30 Cynical Posted: 1/10/2009 8:27:59 AM
I take this from www.dictionary.com English: cynical –adjective 1. like or characteristic of a cynic; distrusting or disparaging the motives of others. 2. showing contempt for accepted standards of honesty or morality by one's actions, esp. by actions that exploit the scruples of others. 3. bitterly or sneeringly distrustful, contemptuous, or pessimistic.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 112 (view)

What about cats?!? Posted: 1/7/2009 1:59:35 PM
Cats are even frowned on in the afterlife Sure, by denizens of Dog Heaven! Where do people pick up this kinds of informacion?

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 82 (view)

What about cats?!? Posted: 1/6/2009 4:13:20 PM
<=== how is this for a cat!

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

The pictures on the wall Posted: 1/5/2009 7:26:57 PM
Who needs pictures from a skin mag on the wall? Pornography is available everywhere now. Maybe these men you are thinking of can't remember what women look like?

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 45 (view)

Would like to Keep it Professional and Friends ONLY Posted: 1/5/2009 7:23:05 PM
Imagine him in a different type of fantasy, OP. Imagine what he looks like in his 50's, chubby, balding and naked.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 110 (view)

Do you get offended when someone says Merry Christmas? Posted: 1/5/2009 6:41:12 PM
Felic Navidad will get you a dirty look from me considering the current situation with the illegal immigrants. Don't bother trying to flame, I have living proof of every negative stereotype literally living within 10 feet of my house, so I will be the LAST one to be conned by any politically correct BS about how they are wonderful, hard working people. Yes, I do have some problems with this difficult language, especially spelling the subjet-verb agreements...caramba. So I've been here nearly 15 years and still have an accent. I am a European Hispanic, with a big French influence having living there for about 12 years of my life. Still, I would say "Feliz Navidad," but not for the purpose of angering you about your neighbors. Maybe it would help remind us that different Latino cultures even have somethings like a pecking order for others. Sad but true. By the way, I have worked hard, too, for everything I have. I earned a lot of it in Spain but increases it considerably here in the USA!

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

how to land a guy who ignores you. Posted: 12/28/2008 6:32:40 PM
Good God, a 38-year old asking these questions? Wait a minute, I think we have all been tricked because she has only posted once and never is here again.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 90 (view)

Do you get offended when someone says Merry Christmas? Posted: 12/28/2008 6:25:49 PM
I enjoy the faces when I say "Joyeux Noel." Eventually those people who can associates Noel with Christmas gets a light in their eyes. We really need to do a better job learning other languages.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 66 (view)

Is marriage outmoded? Posted: 12/28/2008 6:21:33 PM
^^^^^ How gratifying to read this from a woman, for a change.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Is it still hot to be a musician? Posted: 12/19/2008 8:27:26 PM
If I had a sweetheart write me a song, I would never think it to be corny or trite. I would love it, even if he sang off-key, because he did something wonderful, heartfelt and creative just for me. I wish I could write music like Tom Jobim. His song "Desafinado" [translation: off-key] describe his love for a woman with a better voice than his, who is critical of his music, yet who sees only the technical aspects of his music instead of seeing through it to the heart behind it. Edit: Oh no, I posted in Ask a Girl again.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 64 (view)

spending the holidays single.. Posted: 12/19/2008 7:52:45 PM
I am just grateful that the collapse of Wall Street didn't hurt me too much. I feel compassion for those Americans and Canadians who loses their jobs this time of year. Never in my life would I ever believe that so many rich people can be so cruel to their Fellow Man. Spending holidays single is better to me than spending it in a shelter with a lot of other desperate destitutos. I fear that this is the tip of the icebergs, that the future may see more of this than we can imagine.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 73 (view)

Electric Gadgets over Real Relationships - The Wave of the Future Posted: 12/19/2008 7:48:19 PM
So how many of you guys think this is just like having a vibrator, and no different? It is not like a vibrator because the vibrator doesn not scolds you when you touch it. What is the point of making a robot exactly like a human? That's crazy!

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

What to think? Posted: 12/19/2008 7:45:54 PM
It is amazing how many people are screwed up, and in so many ways.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 134 (view)

Should you give up your male friends?? Posted: 12/19/2008 7:40:12 PM
What is he prepared to sacrifice? Surely if he expect you to give up somethings, then he must be expected. This is the compromise.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 39 (view)

laughter in a relationship Posted: 10/29/2008 2:21:13 PM
Who could possibly disagree with this points? By the way, I'm still attempting to understand why so many have a username of "Loves2Laugh" or something alike it. I, like a modern cynical Diogenes, am looking for a "Hates2Laff."

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 114 (view)

Why are so many women over 30 Cynical Posted: 10/25/2008 8:35:56 AM
I have another possible explanation for the outstanding marketing plans for cynicism. A cynic is really nothing more than an idealist who has watched every fairie tale; every lie produced by teachers in public schools, by parents and realtives, by magazines, by advertisers, and by truth spinners in society; every notions about how to have and pursue happiness; the idealist has watched each one of those fantasies dragged into the streets of the public forum and executed a la Jozef Stalin hit squads, and be left alone do deal with the feelings of shock, horror and loss. I give people their cynical feelings. There is nothing wrong with cynicisms in a society that constantly lies to people, be it politics, government, financial systems, Feminism, machoism, stupidism, literature, medicine, science...we have a lot to be cynical about and I bet our governments are damned glad that people are mostly sheeplike, or each government would topple like the house of cards that they really are. Conversely, since human beings has a tendancy to mimic behaviours, why should we expect people to be honest, decent and approachable given that what leads people these days stand to be indicted for insiders trading, breach of oath of office, war crimes, lying in annual reports to stockholders. The message from this generation of sociopaths is that rules are for losers, the ghetto dwelling scum who elect us to office, or who work for us, who brings their lunches into work in brown paper bags while we eat at Maxine's, the Russian Tea Room, at St. Moritz. We haven't been actively cynical enough, in my opinion. It's not men letting men get away with bad behaviour, or women letting women get away with bad behaviours, it's a nation's people letting bad behaviour becomings the operating psyche of their nation. If, for example, the United States' citizens and elected representatives had this frame of mind, there never would be an occupations in Iraq.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

How Do You Deal With Stubborn? Posted: 10/24/2008 8:51:39 PM
Confrontation. If you can no longer tolerate his form of abuse--neglect--then calmly tell him. If he is standing, stand. If he is seated, sit and tell him. Just as a would for a child give him a time frame to improve and what are the consquences if he does not. If he continues to neglect you then if you leave or if you demands that he leave, he will already know why. Stay strong, he may beg to stay in the relationship but that is probably because he may be unwilling to lose someone who in the past has helped enable his abuse. Many, may stubborn people I have known were afraid of losing control. They used silence and inflexibility as a tool to maintain status quo. They are afraid to change, sometime afraid to change anything. They may even be anal-retentives. If it's neurotic (or behavior that begin to affect their relationships at work and personal), then they really need to get some mental help.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Buenelo (sp?) Posted: 10/20/2008 8:42:09 AM
I feel stooopid. It's spelled "bunuelos." Like a sheep, following the crowds. Baaaah.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 52 (view)

What could you do to make your NEXT relationship better that the last one? Posted: 10/19/2008 3:44:53 PM
I will do what I am doing right now: appreciating what I have right now; standing up for myself more strongly without arrogance; recognize high maintenance, emotionally unstable women and cut them out of my life urgently. And I will not embrace marriage as if it is the golden ring, for it isn't.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 109 (view)

A man who communicates his feelings... Posted: 10/19/2008 12:24:06 PM
One of the most perplexing questions a woman can ask a man--and I've heard this from quite a few male friends--is "what are you thinking?" Panic. This is an invitacion to self-destruction, or an invitation to drop an expected compliment. "I was thinking how happy I am being with you." That usually stopped the probings, like she was checking the dipstick for the oil levels. Capisce?

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Buenelo (sp?) Posted: 10/19/2008 11:40:26 AM
Oh and I forget...to the sirup you can add rosewater or orange blossom water. Just maybe a teaspoon, unless you are making large quantieies. This is how the sirup for baklavah is made, but it works very well for buenelos and sopapillas, too. You can always adjust to taste, but if you mess around too much the sirup can become crystalline, then adding liquids make it like a dog chasing its tail. Best to have everything and all proportions ready to go when you're making the sirup.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 906 (view)

Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist? Posted: 10/18/2008 7:43:07 AM
^^^^^ Yet if I may give everyone a big clue about NPD behaviours: although I do not like to play games, I think that if you suspects your partner may have a narcissist personality disorder, you can test it to be sure. It is worth taking time to protect your future, in my opinion. One of the revelations is how they react to a challenges to their image. To them their image is everything. If your partner maintains at attitude of high intelligence, and you know that somethings they have said is definitely wrong, call their hand, call them on it. You can say something like, "Well, I just read an article from the [authoritative source] and it's in disagreement with what you told me." If the partner reacts negatively, becoming agitated, begin yelling, then perhaps this is a sign of NPD. If the person claims to have done this or that and you find out differently, call them on it. A person caught in a lie can admit it, or find a way to cover it up, but for the narcissist you have challenged existence itself. If this partner again begins to abuse you for not knowing things, or being naive, elevating the voice beyond which is called for, then you may have a narcissist. A narcissist finds it very difficult to apologises to people, because, again, it's an admission that their perfectly architected image is beginning to fall to pieces. As my brother once warned me, that NPD and sociopaths shares a lot of the same behaviour traits. Who cares what they share, but know that both seem to look at people in two ways: victims and accomplices. To the sociopaths, however, eventually even accomplices will become their victims. A person with NPD is so self-absorb that their accomplices are already victims. THey makes no pretenses to be polite or considerate of other people, for they are too busy repairing and maintaining their images, just like the Egyptians are always sustaining the image of the Sphinx against erosions. The sociopath will at least be nice until they have stolen everything that you agree to give them. They are mercenary; NPDs are incapable of distinguishing the subtleties. [I just wish my English was better to the point that I could describe fully my meaning. Sorry.]

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

How Do You Deal With Stubborn? Posted: 10/17/2008 1:52:56 PM
Imagine yourself married to this stubborn man. Knowing that as relationships endure the things that are minor irritants to you now because serious problems later. Leave; it only gets worse if he gets no psichological help.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 244 (view)

All I Want for Christmas is Peace of Mind Posted: 10/17/2008 1:50:05 PM
Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose. -- Kris Kristofferson I wonder how one would choose if you get these alternatives: 1. You can keep the ring, but you retain your ex along with it. 2. You can have neither, but you can have the remaining fond memories, if any, AND you have your freedom from oppression.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

What signs of interest do you look for? Posted: 10/16/2008 7:32:09 PM
The clearest sign of interest is that she is wearing a permanent smile, her eyes sparkle and twinkles when she looks at me, and she seems to see only me among crowds of people. That's a good indication.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Why does my EX keep emailing and calling me? Posted: 10/16/2008 7:29:02 PM
How are we, the readers, supposed to know? I wonder, Irish Eyez why so so many threads questions begin like this. In a way to answer them makes me feel a little like I'm a therapist on the Jerry Springer show with guests who appear that to tie their shoes seem like a major undertaking. How does a person type slowly, such as speaking slowly, so that others will understand.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Is there any other reason? Posted: 10/16/2008 7:24:20 PM
I agree with Aurora. This situation is so alien to most men, unless incredibly rich and sexually indefatigable, that there is probably very little experiences here from which to call upon to answer your question, OP. And as another poster wrote, it really is the women who do the chosing, even though many if not most women will try to deny the subtle behaviours that constitutes selection. Rejection is a part of this process of selection.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

sooo confused about guy's behavior - please help Posted: 10/16/2008 7:16:49 PM
You hand him your phone number and say give me a call. Yet this time be sure actually to answer the phone.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 31 (view)

How do you determine whether a date is successful? Posted: 10/16/2008 2:37:33 PM
Again, the definition of success mean different things to different people. To me if I walk away without blood flowing down my back and no bullet wounds then I consider it a success!

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 901 (view)

Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist? Posted: 10/16/2008 2:27:25 PM
^^^^^^ I struggled for years married to a woman who was a clinically diagnose with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It is a very serious thing that afflicts many, many people, and it eventually emerges as most serious neuroses later in life. Because NPD have difficulty sustainings a relationship because it is always one way, theirs. And it is all about image. They derive self-worth through the validations of others. Their lives are all about image, managing images, as if life is without mirrors by which to judge and modifies your behaviour. My youngest brother is a psychoanalyst who deal with personality orders and sometimes pyschosis. He has told me on many occasions that my then wife needed serious help and that I should get help too to learn how to deals with her, so-called coping skills. Finally when the world learns about the NPD's tricks and limitations they explodes into all-out war to protect their image, as if defendings a castle under siege. It was at this point that I realized I could not give my wife the help she needed, nor would she get it because as a NPD person she had built a very impervios denial system. If you had a disagreements with her she had a way of making you believe that you were the one who was wrong, or guilty, to blame, etc. It is very serious as a problem. If untreated it can destroy their lives and the live of others around them.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

Sex-Positive or Sex-Negative? Posted: 10/15/2008 2:12:25 PM
Ideology does not requires logic. This is why it is rarely successful to debate an ideologue or demagogue. Faith is called Faith, not "Truth." While I give plenty of room to people who wish to worships in their own ways, I feel sorry for the ones who are so "starched" in their beliefs that they find they must continue to lecture others about God's plan, when in fact no human being knows the plan, or so they say. And then there is the plan brought by Jesus, which is simple enough, so who needs to know more? Then the paradox of Jesus' teaching where you should love everyone as if they are your own blood; and then some say in Jesus' name that it's okay to kill sinners. There will always be those who twists around things to fit their xenophobia or hatreds. Until mankind transcends its own limitations this unfortunately is the way it will be. Education helps a great deal from despotic idealogues getting control--well, okay, we missed a few who are in charge now!

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

Sex-Positive or Sex-Negative? Posted: 10/13/2008 6:51:50 PM
i guess no one has ever read the song of solomn No one? I have read it in Hebrew. Its titled is "Shir ha'Shirim," or Song of Songs. In it is contained a very specifics verse about how a man can excite a woman, even a woman who is not his bride. Was Solomon indeed married to all the 100 or more women he hosted at his palace?

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Sex-Positive or Sex-Negative? Posted: 10/13/2008 2:42:00 PM
every thing done in Gods name is not of God Since the name of God was known only by a very few in the Hebrew priestly class, and only to the High Priest, no one knows God's name anymore. Therefore what it done in the name of God is only at best an educated guess. Sex is sex, period.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Difference bewteen serious flirting and go nowhere flirting?? Posted: 10/13/2008 7:42:46 AM
Look. Play it safe and guard your heart by assuming that she has no real interest in you. Her motivations is about being the center of attencion. Period. You are merely a convenient tool for her ego. Now, if she keeps coming back to you and persisting beyond that which you may find merely flirtings, then it's probably okay to accept her invitations.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Do men like possesive women? Posted: 10/13/2008 7:40:38 AM
Do women like possessive men? The answer is universal.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Do men try to confuse women? Posted: 10/13/2008 7:39:28 AM
Here is the thing to understand about men: we are all different, just like women. One shoe does not fit all, so this habituals of generalising is an exercice in self-defeat.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

Where do I start??? Posted: 10/13/2008 7:37:15 AM
Did I just come up with an "eclat?" The OP suggest that when a woman approaches a man she may view herself or be viewed as other (women?) as being desperate. Then........how does this apply to men approaching women? Why is this different? Why do we not think of men as desperate, then?

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Sex-Positive or Sex-Negative? Posted: 10/13/2008 7:24:04 AM
It is a biological imperative. Only humans ascribes negative attributes to a normal function. And only humans have sex beyond the periods of estres, which cause males to respond. So sex is a part of biology and free will, which is God-given. That seems to settle the issues for me.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Can a girl get you back? Posted: 10/13/2008 6:59:01 AM
Wasn't it American writer Thomas Wolfe who say, "You can't go home again."??? In general, the maxim is correct: once it's over it's over. However, there is that irritatingly obvios expression: If you love something and let it go, and it doesn not return, you never "possessed?" it in the first place; if it returns it is always "yours." Okay, so I don't believe in slavery or possessing others like demons, but I think this make the points pretty clearly. Then there is one last thing: If you are the one who destroyed the relationship, and you want it back, perhaps consider as if it were you confessing a sin. Say what you do wrong, ask for forgivness and then apply the often-forgotten or ignored "restitutions." Ask for permission to set things back as they were, as if you knocked over precious ceramics with a bowling ball, to ask to replace what was broken; accept this as your penance, as your responsibility. But do not be desperate. If he does not seem receptives to you, then at least you have done the right thing, with dignity and satisfaction.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

In The Morning When The Makeup Is Gone ... Posted: 10/13/2008 6:57:27 AM
^^^^^ I also dig women who look good, and who enjoy putting on a little warpaints, sad but truth. If she look that bad in the morning then it requires me to control my drinking. Too much Don Benigno (my weakness)...immediately behind sangria.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 873 (view)

People who just write how are you Posted: 10/10/2008 6:25:59 PM
What is the point of this thread? If you truly believe you are superior, then it should makes no difference what the people say, since you are above it. If you are not superior, then appreciate that perhaps a person is doing the best they can to overcomes their shyness. Be more forgiving, more understanding, more compassionate, display more of the feminine characteristics that make women appealing to men.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 458 (view)

I was told I am a bad mother because I smoke marijuana. Posted: 10/10/2008 6:22:50 PM
If you removes the "bad," you can be termed a marijuana smoker who is a mother.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 62 (view)

First date. Passport required! Posted: 10/10/2008 5:48:43 PM
Same with my family. My mother is English. My father is Moroccan. One uncle's wife is French. Another uncle's wife is German. My sister is married to an Israeli. My younger brother's longest girlfriend was Japanese. Caramba, compadre. I thought my backgrounds was convoluted.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Seatting at dinner Posted: 10/9/2008 4:58:59 PM
Never next to her until she permits you to get close. Invasion of space is not a good idea at the beginning.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Do they always let you know when they like you? Posted: 10/7/2008 7:43:22 PM
Yes, always. Just like women always do.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

How to be more interesting profile wise Posted: 10/7/2008 7:40:35 PM
Please, please please try to refrains from these inspid things: 1. Lives life to the fullest 2. I want [a list of things you expect a man to do for you] 3. Love to laugh (who does not???) 4. Saying something insulting to men because of a few bad choices of men by yourself 5. Lists, lists, lists 6. No pictures of animals, groups shots of people, no children (out of respect for them). Women on motorcycles always seem appealing. Say something that will show a little of your wit, some humour, a little bit of your wisdom and experiences of life.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Can I call him? Posted: 10/7/2008 7:35:11 PM
^^^^^ And just be prepared or self-assure enough to hear a rejection. If not a rejection, then you have just proven that women can take hold of a dating situation like a master caballero takes the reins.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Importance of Words Posted: 10/7/2008 7:30:56 PM
It's a date, not an interview or a presidential debate. Relax, be yourself. Stop thinking about the future, stop trying to control a situation for which there is no regulator valve. Enjoy the moment as if it may be your last but in which there is no winners, no losers, just participants.

andalusiajoey

Joined: 8/6/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

responding Posted: 10/7/2008 3:14:31 PM
Not correct. If he is a man who has a life without you, I doubt that he will be immediately returning your emails. And not within 24 hours. Turn your question and ask what you might thinks of a man who emails you.

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