says 2 new messages but they are invisible? chat & forums.

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Thread: says 2 new messages but they are invisible?

Joined: 8/7/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

says 2 new messages but they are invisible? Posted: 9/23/2009 12:10:16 AM
I'm having the same issue (except i have 3 mystery emails; take that). I'm thinking it might have something to do with messages that you didnt read but did delete. Might still be logging them in as new, but not letting you access it.

Joined: 8/7/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

sent messages Posted: 9/22/2009 3:44:11 AM
To clarify, I also make sure that I meet all the criteria in the mail settings listed. One thing that I thought it may be is for borderline cases with the age parameters. If someone has an age restriction between 20 and 30, and you're 30 (plus a few months) will you be excluded or is it inclusive?

Joined: 8/7/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

sent messages Posted: 9/22/2009 3:38:41 AM
If you send a message and it does not appear in your "sent msg" list, does that necessarily mean that it didn't go through? I made sure that I filled everything in correctly, was logged in correctly, and that I received the "message sent" confirmation after pressing 'send' - but some messages still will not show up in my "sent msg" folder. I've had this problem a few times, and I can never really be sure if the messages go through. Thanks.

Joined: 8/7/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

want feedback on having a talkative, heterosexual man Posted: 6/1/2009 12:58:14 AM
There are plenty of men who are plenty chatty. I dont think there is a significant relationship between gender and sociability. I think if you perceive men to be significantly less chatty than women, you're probably just meeting the wrong guys. But it could also be that the rapport you build with men is one where they're forced to submit to your social dominance. A lot of people unknowingly set boundaries in relationships about what is "acceptable conversation". Some people set a LOT of those boundaries, and end up cornering an otherwise social partner into complacency with the role of "listener".

Joined: 8/7/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Giving little gifts early-on Posted: 5/31/2009 9:17:02 PM
I would imagine that most of the time when someone feels uncomfortable accepting a gift, it's because they feel the financial sacrifice the other person made is too great for the level of intimacy they perceive there to be. You arent trying to buy his affection in the way that men sometimes try to buy womens affection, but when you buy gifts like that you're formalizing a relationship that (even if it exists) he may not want to acknowledge.

Joined: 8/7/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

new deal will raise teachers average pay above $90000 Posted: 12/14/2008 12:53:35 AM
It's important that they're not underpaid, but I know teachers - and i know the mentality. The basic idea is that any time the union tells them they deserve something, they don't just support it - they believe it with every ounce of their being... even if they were satisfied with their salary before the issue came up. When people say "deserve", i think what the mean is - what would people be willing to pay them if the industry wasnt completely handled by government, and the best proxy for that is obviously the private education system (which is pretty convenient as it works out). if you were to index private school teachers and public school teachers by their GPA through university, do you think that the public school teachers would be receiving more or less than their private counterparts on average? it varies from country to country, and province/state to province/state - but in general you will find that the private sector pays LESS than the public sector. i dont even know if that's true in ontario, so it may very well not apply here - but im guessing it does.

Joined: 8/7/2007

Msg: 2093 (view)

Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women. Posted: 8/26/2008 5:25:43 AM
I dont think the problem is exclusive to men, but it seems like it's a lot worse. There are just a lot of guys that spam the hell out of every female that they'd be remotely interested in 'doing', and it gives women a bit of a warped impression of what they can get, which leads to them being fickle about who they speak to. Since women pick the most attractive/desirable men, it usually means they pick the guys who would consider having sex with them but not to be in a relationship with. It's really just a hyper exaggerated version of real life dating.

Joined: 8/7/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

some profile feedback would be appreciated Posted: 8/25/2008 9:23:31 PM
No one else? I was kind of hoping for something constructive. Anyone else have something to say? Here are some things i think might be negatives (that i can help). The pictures are pretty low quality and they dont show my body. Does it look like im trying something? (im not, but i can see how it might come across like that) The picture without any facial hair is actually about a year and a half old. I chose it because i recently shaved my beard off and i thought it would be more representative. The problem is I look pretty young for my age as it is, and I'm not sure if it's doing me any favors. I mentioned that i work for myself. Is there anyone who thinks that raises red flags? Im never sure how people perceive that. If i was to read something comparably vague, I would assume they barely scrape by unless they had some seriously impressive credentials. It would be really crass to write something like how much i made last year and it would probably get the wrong kind of attention, but I dont want people to think im a bum.

Joined: 8/7/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

some profile feedback would be appreciated Posted: 8/25/2008 8:02:30 AM
I'm finding it pretty difficult to connect with others on this site. I'm not sure if the ratio of girls to guys is extremely high, if I'm doing something wrong or if this is 'just how it goes'. So let me know what you think.

Joined: 8/7/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Messages in the bottom of your profile Posted: 5/21/2008 4:01:39 AM
I prefer that you can't delete them. On the rare occasion that you find someone who has been active in the forums, it gives you a bit more insight into what they're like, and what their interests are. It's also less awkward to reply to someone with respect to a specific post than it is to respond to an advertisement-like profile.

Joined: 8/7/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

Why is lying on the internet considered not as offensive as lying in general? Posted: 5/21/2008 3:55:33 AM
It may be more common, but i dont think it's acceptable on a site like this. And i think people who are truthful would agree.

Joined: 8/7/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Distancing yourself from online dating... while online dating Posted: 5/20/2008 6:14:53 AM
I've noticed that the people who rant the hardest about not caring what people think almost always do. There are a lot of situations i may be in where im not necessarily ashamed of myself for something in particular, but where i'd prefer not to tell the whole truth. example: im at a friends house and they have a family get together. the topic of religion comes up. what am i? catholic obviously. because they all are. my story check out because i have an italian last name. fast forward to the sader at my aunts. what am i? i can summon the power of my mothers jewishness to blend in. realistically im agnostic. but i tell them what they want to hear because I dont need to deal with the hassle. in the context of online dating, the same applies. if im telling the story to old "traditional" people, i'd rather just give them a bullshit story that they want to hear.

Joined: 8/7/2007

Msg: 45 (view)

Is there such a thing as a confirmed bachelor??? Posted: 5/20/2008 5:53:56 AM
if you are genuinely interested in getting married, you start making concessions as you get older when it becomes apparent that you "holding out for the one" isnt a viable option. someone who is 45 has had a lot of time to consider their options. and it's likely that they've made their decision.

Joined: 8/7/2007

Msg: 49 (view)

How do men view women who learn to play golf? Posted: 5/20/2008 5:44:41 AM
it's such a strange question to ask. i cant think of any negative connotations associated with playing golf. what kind of guy would hold something like that against a girl?

Joined: 8/7/2007

Msg: 34 (view)

On gambling Posted: 5/20/2008 5:14:55 AM
Very few people become successful full-time professional poker players. Some moderately skilled poker players decide to become full-time "professionals" as an excuse to play poker all day & neglect other aspects of their life. Many of these players end up being permanently staked by others and & beecome the laughingstock of the poker community. Going professional entails greatly increased risks. Behaviors that are considered "problem behaviors" in most people will be harder to identify in the professional, who might consider playing 10 hrs a day to be normal, & who necessarily must play for significant stakes. This is one reason why most players, even winning players, should not become pros. The vast majority of people who regard themselves as professional are in no position to do so. But unlike most fields, you dont need any credentials to call yourself "pro" other than an inflated ego. I disagree that it necessarily entails greatly increased risks. My story began in university, using play money on a site while learning the game. I found out shortly after that you could sell an inordinate amount of the play chips for a small amount of real money. Using the $20 that i received, i played at penny tables until i progressively felt more comfortable playing marginally higher stakes. I now play stakes that most would consider large, but that are rather small relative to my overall net worth. Rent is not an issue because i own my place, and my day to day expenses are fairly trivial. At no point have i ever been in a position where chance has had the opportunity to significantly alter my life. As an aside,I also dont know anyone who is successful that plays 10 hours a day. That is more of a sign of someone who plays for personal enjoyment. As a rule of thumb, the best measure of how professional someone treats cards is how much they hate playing it.

Joined: 8/7/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

On gambling Posted: 5/20/2008 4:47:36 AM
As someone who has been playing poker professionally online officially for 1 year and unofficially for 2, I'll say that a girl who has a gambling problem is about the biggest turn off imaginable. And while poker can be a genuine and reliable source of income, it so rarely is anything more than an outlet to gamble that I'd also prefer a girl not be into that either (without knowing anything else). A gambling problem is a horrible sickness, and I'm not sure there's any real treatment besides cold turkey-ing it and avoiding situations that may tempt. Being in the "poker industry" i know a lot of people who have a gambling problem. All of them tell me that they do it for the rush/high they get from the moments of anticipation. As someone who isnt hard wired to get any pleasure from it, it's hard to empathize, but i can imagine it's tough to deal with. As for the ethics of taking other peoples money - it is not always a matter of playing with degenerate gamblers. There are many people who play responsibly, and when you play with them, you offer a source of entertainment - and that is the product that you're selling them. The amounts that you tend to win on average are very small relative to the stakes, so it is not as if the price for that entertainment is exorbitantly high. As for the problem gamblers - yes, it's unfortunate. But realistically they will lose their money regardless of whether it's you sitting in the seat, or some other person, or to the casino in some other game.

Joined: 8/7/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Fake picture, strange meet request? Posted: 5/19/2008 6:47:02 AM
if there's one universal law that holds true in this age of the intarwebs, it's that attractive women can never upload enough pictures of themselves. get her to send you a picture with her flashing some sign. at least then if it turns out to be a burly guy who pitches you into his sex dungeon, he'll probably have the hot girl locked down there too. you'll have plenty of time to get acquainted. great success!

Joined: 8/7/2007

Msg: 1618 (view)

Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women. Posted: 5/19/2008 6:39:31 AM
"I changed my pic recently and I've had more "action" on here than I did in the past year. What does that say?" .... It says your previous pic must've been a COMPLETE train wreck. Ba duhm chuh!

Joined: 8/7/2007

Msg: 1617 (view)

Internet dating: sucks for guys, good for women. Posted: 5/19/2008 6:37:39 AM
"It is okay not to settle when you have reasonable standards. The problem is many people ( not necessary you ) have expectations that are too high and unrealistic. They have a huge list of requirements that very few people would match. " unrealistic, maybe. but you cant really say someone sets the bar too high. maybe theyd prefer to be alone if they cant make that hale marry shot at their ideal match. being on your own isnt always so bad.

Joined: 8/7/2007

Msg: 109 (view)

Would the pretty women be nicer if they were plainer & vice-versa? Posted: 4/3/2008 3:57:04 PM
you messaged her because she's hot. she rejected you because you're not. should she have written and said "i'm sorry, i think you're unattractive"? would have been far worse.

Joined: 8/7/2007

Msg: 319 (view)

Why don't tall men choose to date tall women? Posted: 1/23/2008 3:58:47 AM
" On a serious note.... I have quite a few women friends that internet date, and thru their stories its easy to see that they get much more upset over the fact that they were lied to about a mans height they are meeting, than the fact that he was shorter." Because if they hadnt been lied to, they would have never found themselves having to endure a date with a 'short guy'. Honestly - i can recognize that there are girls who are willing to make 'height' concessions, but the fact that they're in a position where they need to make a concession is telling. Women who are otherwise desirable dont need to make concessions for something as readily available as "tall men".

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