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Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 64 (view)

Do you give money to street beggers? Posted: 7/14/2009 4:05:09 PM
I used to, but got burned by bad experiences. Took a guy to a shelter to pay for him to sleep and about to walk out and he got a refund saying they had his favorite bed; wouldn't give it back and the door guy said he was just going to go buy booze. So, now, when a beggar approaches me, I have a great strategy: I beat him to the punch and ASK HIM first for money. They'll still ask, but you ask back and since you asked first, they get confused and go away. I DID give a guy $20 at a church "feed the homeless" activity and everyone said I threw it away. He said he just needed money to ride the public transportation to get to a job. Well, the next week, he showed up at church all dressed up and upbeat and wanted to pay me back. But that's the only time I've ever had a positive experience.

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 34 (view)

Anal Sex...he wants it, but I'm scared to try Posted: 7/6/2009 7:20:47 PM
If you enjoy plain ole anal sex, then you might consider progressing into a bit more radical and possibly pleasurable activities, such as doing a tossed salad. According to the urban dictionary, " the term draws a parallel to tossing a regular vegetable salad, where all the comtents of the slad are mixed around with salad tongs. In the sexual variety, the reciever of the "tossing" has all the contents of the anus (hairs, lint, dingleberries) mixed around by the partners tongue, which provides moisture (dressing)and essentially serves as human tongs. E.g. 'My girl loves having a tossed salad before getting poked.' " From there, you might consider (1) a "dirty sanchez"; (2) a "rusty trombone" might be pleasurable; (3) or if you're breaking up with him, a Cleveland Steamer might be appropriate. However, stay away from allowing him to give you a "Donkey Punch" while doing the anal thing. This is where, once he's penetrated your anus and is right upon ejaculation, he delivers a swift punch to the back of the your cranium which results in the simultaneous contraction of the anal sphincter and various other muscles in the female, thus producing a tremendous sensation for the male. However, according to the urban dictionary, "for the technique to render successful, the receiving party must be knocked utterly unconscious." Example from the urban dictionary: “I was banging this one night and I donkey punched the **** so hard she passed out!” “What happened after that?” “I fell asleep. What else?” “Hear hear! Bravo!” P.S. All this is I'm referring to, I am doing so in a tongue-in-cheek manner (pun intended), as I personally believe the anal activities are nothing more than a trend and that in about 10 years, people will be saying, "And so people used to think licking one's ass hole (or having anal sex) was a good idea? Damn ... what in THE HELL were they thinking?"

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 37 (view)

Phone Sex and Faking It Posted: 7/6/2009 6:35:02 PM
The only phone sex I ever enjoyed was when I dated a deaf girl. She would type out what she was saying and they have (or used to have) an operator who acted as a mediator and would read what she was saying to me. I would speak back my message and the operator would type it to my deaf girlfriend. But, they HAVE TO say whatever you're communicating. She could type "This operator is the stupidest ** ever" and the operator would have to say, referring to herself, "This operator is the stupidest ** ever". But phone sex was FUN! Unless it was a guy and then it was FUNNY (and very weird). More than one couldn't help but laugh out loud as they tried to deliver the lines. One female operator, I'm pretty sure, was really getting into it and I didn't tell my deaf g/f, but I was really getting turned on, as she said some of the dirtiest things to me. Hell, I've thought about investing into the phone electronics just to repeat that, but with a mutual friend. :)

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 269 (view)

does pot make you horny? Posted: 7/4/2009 5:36:13 PM
MANY years ago, when I was in college and smoked regularly, I found that pot made sex great. In fact, it seems to intensify all your senses: touch (sex), taste (munchies), auditory (music - especially rock for me), sight (colors), etc. So, I would go to a bar, find an intoxicated female. Since alcohol reduces inhibitions and impairs judgment, I would ask a girl if she wanted to get high, after a few dances. And because it's illegal, I'd tell them the truth: it's back at my place. Go back and get them high. So the alcohol has reduced their inhibitions and the pot has increased their libido and intensified their other senses. Add some rock music in the background and you have a very sensual recipe for sex resulting in about 90% success rate. That's why they call it sex, drugs and rock 'n roll. It all goes together and is true.

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Ex-girlfriends boyfriend.... Posted: 6/25/2009 1:54:42 PM
Maybe it's HER posing as HIM to get a feel for how you feel about her. Or, maybe he thinks she's into you still and trying to see if she's back in touch with you. But I think he's trying to befriend you to solicit information of some type from you.

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 328 (view)

How to tell if a woman is horny?? Posted: 6/25/2009 1:32:43 PM
If you've spent enough time talking, then you might try this. In a tongue-in-cheek manner, say: “There’s something that’s been bothering me all night ... (pause) ... and I have to know.” When she asks what’s wrong, look very concerned and say, “Do you find me attractive?” She may blurt out something revealing as she laughs. Then, if she's playful, ask her how attractive. "So, how many more drinks will it take where you'll find me attractive enough that you want to kiss me?" If she responds positively, keep upping the ante. "How many before you're all over me?" If she's not quite there, but doesn't walk off, keep buying her drinks. Introduce the theme again later. If, on the other hand, she acts uptight at the question, mumbles something ugly, all this while she's allowed you to continue to buy her drinks, change the subject, lean in and exclaim, "Oh, you're growing a mustache!" Then ask for the bill. Yours only, drop a twenty dollar bill or whatever and walk off. :)

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 136 (view)

What do I do with a hot lady with a smelly pussi? Posted: 6/24/2009 6:24:24 PM
Blind man walks into a fish market and says, "Good morning, ladies. Having any luck on POF?" Hey! Maybe there's a reason this site is called Plenty of Fish.

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 48 (view)

Moral Dilemma - What to do? Posted: 5/17/2009 3:39:03 PM
Simplywhatever, I agree that her "intuition" at this point might create false positives, reacting to anything and every little thing eventually driving her into madness. And I agree that she needs to either trust him completely or confront him. You make good points that I agree with. As to the email password vs FB password, I only was able to speak with her once about this - as she has left to visit his parents this weekend. So, I do think she saw the girl on FB - the public part and that drove her to read the messages through his email. Probably doesn't matter, as either way she's reading it. The idea that he knows she has his password and has nothing to hide, but then things backfired sounds about right, too. Maybe she tells him, and think this is the case, anyway, but tells him that she wasn't going through his email until the FB girl popped up. And she remembered that she had his password and insecurity from the ex (initial event) caused her to doubt him, but she didn't want to make it an issue and just checked to validate FB girl wasn't an interest, but found out differently. In other words, it's a very different scenario between being an insecure wreck and spying on him when there's nothing that's happened versus she sees FB girl, doubts spring up from past ex event, surfacing insecurities, so remembering she has his password, checks his email to find out. When people explain how one thing led to another from a preceding event (both his doing), then it might make her breaches more forgivable. And then gives him a chance to explain himself.

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

Moral Dilemma - What to do? Posted: 5/17/2009 11:41:44 AM
You see how this falls into the gray area. Pixie and several others feel the guy hasn't really done anything - that it's about her and her insecurities. Spitfire follows Pixie's post with the opinion that he DID do something wrong. Personally, I think the best option is for her to regain her integrity and stop spying and trust her intuition. The reason is that it was her intuition that picked up the minute changes in him when the ex came back early on in the relationship. And he didn't try to hide it at that point. He only avoided making her worry prematurely. There's nothing wrong with his begin temporarily confused over a woman he had been with for 12 years. Regardless, because her antennae worked properly and picked up on his emotional distance, then I believe she'll pick up on it again, if this FB girl attempts to lure him in. At that point, if she "knows" something is definitely wrong and he denies it, she can always go back to FB and check out if he's lied. If so, then it's over. If there's nothing and she was just paranoid, then she it will realize it's her, not him and can see that it's her insecurities and not his actions. And then go see a therapist to deal with those insecurities. What do you think?

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

Moral Dilemma - What to do? Posted: 5/17/2009 10:30:42 AM
Thanks, everyone for giving input. Let me address some of the posts. First, there is nothing wrong with sharing this with me. The reason she did is exactly because we are ONLY friends and nothing more. Nor will it ever be. Period. She knows that and I know that. And. She told me the story all in one phone call. Secondly, she's naturally in a disarray over the things taking place in her relationship. Nearly everything falls into a gray area, which is why it's a difficult nut to crack. For example, as to the guy meeting with the ex, I feel the guy did nothing wrong. It's about trust, yes - but he had a 12 year relationship with his ex. It's only human to entertain the thought of the possibility of going back with her. Why? Because he spent 12 years with her. The relationship ended for a reason. But we all tend to get pulled back towards something that deep, even if we know it wouldn't work out, since it never has. So, I think I or you would think about it privately without sharing it with our new partner. There's nothing wrong with thinking about it. We're all weak in that sense. It needed more closure. To disclose your thoughts with your new partner is only going to cause unnecessary turmoil and pain for her. The gray area is that she - my friend - could tell something was wrong. He was more distant. That's when he disclosed to her that the ex had called. So, I don't think he did anything wrong. The only issue there is whether, if he decided to meet the ex, which he eventually did, if whether he WAS going to tell the new girlfriend (my friend). We don't know that answer. What's important is that he did share this with her. Maybe he intended to do so, anyway. My friend - the guy's new girlfriend - understood that the ex is a 12 year ex. Not a new woman, but someone he had been with FAR longer than she. And that it is only natural for him to get pulled in a little and wonder if the ex had changed. Remember and this is an important point: If you are not married, then the sole purpose of "dating" - even exclusively - is to determine if it's worthy of making it more permanent, as in marriage (generally speaking). During that time, it will be tested. In this case, he chose to continue with his new girlfriend. Next issue: Snooping. She said she's never done this before and I believe her. You could feel shame in her voice. Embarrassment. She didn't steal his password - he gave it to her. Now, she did step over the line. But only when she saw on Face Book that a woman was flirting. She probably wouldn't have done this, but 1 - the tiny "breach" of trust over the ex - if you can call it that - made her insecure. Plus she has the password. We're all human. No one wants to be broad-sided by something like finding out your partner is a cheater when you trust them. I think most people would not like themselves for prying like this, but would do it out of anxiety. As to him, I think a lot of men and women flirt (which = are playful with) the opposite sex a lot of time. We all like to be complimented. Once again, it's a part of being human. But the is a line that can be crossed. And it can be a dangerous game since if it keeps building, there can be a temptation to act out on continual flirtation. The problem with option 1: - coming clean - could destroy the relationship or make it better. We don't know. The problem with option 2: - her continuing to monitor him - is that she's continuing to breach trust. Some could argue, however, that trust is earned and he is on the edge of acting out and you'd be a fool not to protect yourself by continuing to see what he does. If he passes, then never go there again. Trust is solid. He doesn't have to know. However, you are breaching his trust by doing so. The problem with option 3 - just trust him and quit prying - is that she could move on, get married, and then find out he is a cheater, after all, and then she'd have wished she had continued to spy and would have gotten information to determine who he really is. So, keep up the input. This type of brain-storming will eventually yield enough light to determine the correct action. Thank you.

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 630 (view)

Are US Men Obsolete? Posted: 5/16/2009 7:34:30 PM
I'm dropping my two cents in the middle here without having read the previous posts. So, this may come from left-field, but as to men becoming obsolete - in 10 to 20 years, I think both will. Why? Because in Japan, they have already created robots that look like robots but are becoming more human. They predict by 2019, they will be able to create robots that will look and act like humans. By 2029, they think they will be able to create "conscious thought" in robots. Thus, since human men and women don't seem to get along too well, I think I will be ordering a hot-looking female robot, that will be exactly like a human female, with the following exceptions: 1. She will be programmed to enjoy cooking, cleaning (including toilets), and doing all domestic duties while being pleasant. 2. She will be a nymphomaniac except when I'm not in the mood. Just a click a button. 3. She will be programmed to never, ever desire another male. 4. She will be programmed to think I'm the greatest guy around and constantly tell me so. 5. She will be designed physically fit, no fat, nice booty, etc. 6. She will be programmed to enjoy whatever watch on TV and not talk during the program/movie. 7. She will through a few tantrums and pout, only to set-up make-up sex. Women will understandably purchase the robot-man of their dreams and we'll only come together for procreation. The end.

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Moral Dilemma - What to do? Posted: 5/16/2009 6:15:24 PM
I have a female friend who has been dating this guy since last September. She's in a dilemma. I don't know what the best action is for her, as things sort of fall into the gray. Smart POFers to the rescue!!! HER SITUATION: Divorced for over 5 years. Two children, 11 and 14. First serious relationship she's been in since her divorce. HIS SITUATION: Divorced (many years). However, dated female for 12 years. On and off together for years until they broke up for good last year (summer). My female friend naturally wondered if she was just a rebound candidate, but she feels they get along very well. Just recently, he's pushed for her to meet his parents. So, it looks like they have a good thing. THE PRECEDENT ISSUE: First of all, HIS ex showed back up in December last year. Now this is not apart of the current dilemma, but what happened is a factor. The ex wanted to be back together and they met to discuss. My female friend found out and confronted him. He said he was going to tell her, but he was just confused, but felt that he it was over, but just needed time without rocking their relationship. So, my friend said she understood, allowed them to meet, and he DID NOT go back to the ex because he had become religious and she wasn't and it was too important and it was over for good. The only point here is that it violated her trust, although he had not necessarily done anything wrong. I mean, if you've dated someone for 12 years and they contact you, and you aren't really interested in going back, then it might not be necessary to bring up to your current girlfriend - at least not until you decide if you are going to meet. He was not at that point yet. As I said, this is only a trust issue and carries over to the current dilemma now. THE DILEMMA: At some point, later on - ex out of picture - he gives her his password to his email for her to check at times. This in the last few months. Things going very well. She does this temporarily while he's moving and his internet is down. Once done, she doesn't check it anymore. One night, however, she walks in on him on the internet and he's chatting with a girl. Turns out nothing and she overreacted, as it's his sister's friend and she reads it and it's innocent advice and he doesn't even try to hide it. She's in the wrong. However, she's paranoid now. A little. They both have Facebook profiles and she notices a girl who flirts with him publicly once or twice. Turns out the password for his email is the same for his Facebook and because of uncertainty stemming from two past tiny possible violations, she's DRIVEN to know for sure. And follows the Facebook email. This new girl on FB is aggressive, but when he writes her, he keeps saying, no. He obviously enjoys the attention, but never steps over the line. But then, as he's about to move in with her (as they have gotten more and more serious), the FB girl asks him in an email to "do her" before he moves away. He says no. She keeps up. Just have a drink. He says, "Okay, but just a drink. Nothing more. I have a girlfriend." This is this past week. He never had the drink because something came up. But he PLANNED TO. So. Now ... she feels she can't hide her feelings of fear and anxiety, but cannot confront him without admitting her wrong-doing, by eavesdropping on his email, which she feels very ashamed of and knows is wrong (but would never have if she had not experienced two events - ex and sister's g/f which was innocent - which caused her to become paranoid. Now, technically, he hasn't done anything really bad wrong. Enjoying the attentions of another woman, but not quite stepping over the line. Does she: (1) confront him with all, possibly violating his trust over what might just be minor; or (2) does she keep quite and keep spying and see what happens, which may be nothing; or (3) keep quiet and quite spying on his private email and just trust him, thereby regaining her own sense of integrity. I just don't know what's the best answer, so if you're still with me, what do you think is the best choice????

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Women horny during ovulation? Posted: 5/14/2009 6:31:18 PM
Interesting article: http://www.ubersite.com/m/35449 Here's bits and pieces from the article, if you don't feel like going to the trouble of looking it up: -------------------- LONDON (Reuters) - Women are likely to have more sex on the days when they are most fertile .... But he and his colleagues do not understand the reasons and doubt that women are even aware of them. [hence the reason my posting on this topic] In the study ... discovered that during ovulation ... the overall frequency of sex increased by 24 percent.... Most women have about six fertile days a month -- the five days preceding ovulation and the day of ovulation. ... A woman's libido may be heightened when she is ovulating so she has an increased interest in sex, or she may produce more pheromones, chemicals that send messages to other individuals, that increase her sexual attractiveness. --------------------- So, ladies, in your experience, do you believe this to be true? Are more importantly, are us guys more likely to get laid during this time period? And if so, how much would you say it increases our chances? Finally, any strategy in how to obtain this information from, for example, that hot neighbor across the street, who has luke-warm interest, at best? This should be interesting ...

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions Posted: 5/4/2009 6:52:21 PM
Guy taking the engine of his car apart: Neighbor lumbering up: Q: "Working on your car?" A: "No, I dropped a dime and I'm taking the engine apart to fine it." Q: "Excuse me, is this the end of the line?" A: "No, it's the front. We're all standing backwards." Q: "You're so nice, why aren't you married?" A: "Because your wife won't divorce you, so we just have to keep up the affair." Large moving truck outside, taking furniture, etc in. Q: "Are you moving in?" A: "No, I'm just visiting some friends and was brought some nice house-warming gifts."

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions Posted: 5/1/2009 1:45:49 PM
Anyone remember reading MAD magazine? Occasionally, they had a "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions" which I loved. Here are some examples below: Q: Did you catch that fish? A: No, I talked him into giving himself up. A: No, I was sitting here minding my own business when the crazy thing jumped into my pail. A: No, it's a plastic model to get people like you to start fascinating conversations. Q: (from a woman just pulled over by a police officer) Did I do something wrong, officer? A: No, today we're giving tickets out for doing things right. A: No, I just got tired of lugging around these heavy summonses so I decided to give some of them away. A: No, I'm giving a ticket to this crazy street because it's going the wrong way. Q: (from a waiter, to a husband and wife) Table for how many? A: A hundred and twelve -- we like to change seats every few minutes. A: One -- my wife will sit on my shoulders. A: I don't know -- I can't count that high, either. Now, create one (or, dare I say, two!) of your own!

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 46 (view)

Guys - when do you 'expect' sex? Posted: 4/9/2009 3:16:41 PM
OP :ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A KEEPER? If so, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT for sex!!! To quote NIETZSCHE: "Sensuality often goes too fast for love to keep up with. Then love's root remains weak and easily torn up." There are many other reasons for waiting to have sex, that is, if what you want is love and for the relationship to last. Just ask.

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 106 (view)

How can a man cum more? Posted: 4/8/2009 3:01:40 PM
I think the OP is gone now and so it might be too late to advise her, but for all you other guys, there is a product called "The Volume Pill". A friend told me about it, sweared by it - said he could sign his initials on his girlfriend's face. So, I ordered it. The directions tell you not to ejaculate for a week. So, I took the pill each day, as prescribed, and nothing seemed different (it's supposed to increase your libido, too). And because I really wanted to impress my g/f at the time, who lived far away, I began taking it two weeks before her visit. Finally, the day arrived and I went to pick her up at the airport. I was actually very worried that I had wasted my money b/c no increase in libido at all. Nothing. But then, suddenly, there she was at the baggage claim and when we hugged, I realized I suddenly had the most massive erection. She was exhausted from her flight and we just exchanged small talk and she had no makeup on, so there was nothing erotic about her presence. But, I could not get rid of my erection and I wasn't feeling sexual. I had to pull my shirttail out in order to go unnoticed. But for over an hour, waiting for her luggage, talking about innocuous topics, rolling her baggage to my SUV, driving back to my place, the massive erection lasted. Got back, flipped on the TV while she showered and it wouldn't go away. Finally, we made love. And yes, it works. Massive spillage. Wet spot on the bed about a 1&half feet in diameter. She was like, "What in the world? Was that from me or you?" The problem, however, with "The Volume Pill" is that for several days after, I couldn't not ejaculate. Nothing, not even a dribble. Which began making her insecure: "Why are you not releasing? Do I not turn you on? Are you already bored? What is going on! Talk to me." I had to fess up. Never taken them since, nor will I. But if you want your man to cum more? Try "The Volume Pill."

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 37 (view)

Unusual bedroom requests Posted: 4/7/2009 2:06:18 PM
TalentedMr: You're right about smarter = kinkier. Marketing companies all know who buys from what companies by zip code and the in higher-income zip codes, more merchandise and kinkier merchandise was ordered from companies that sold sex products. Redlance: Too funny about the girl who gave you a "safe word" when to stop, but you couldn't understand, obviously, since she was unable to speak with a cord wrapped around her neck. How stupid is that? Finally, years ago, when I was in high school, me and my buddies went to a drive-in movie theatre and watched a very low-budget movie in which about a prostitute who fulfilled fantasies and in one, a man dressed up in a giant****outfit and she dressed in a hen outfit and he chased her around the room and there were lots of feathers, but no skin, so we were disappointed. Also, she dressed up in a wedding gown and walked down the steps to "Here Comes the Bride" and into a room with a casket with candles around it and the man pretended to be dead and she cried and then unzipped his pants and gave him head. I wish I could find that movie today.

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Unusual bedroom requests Posted: 4/6/2009 7:21:00 PM
I have a friend who swears that he (white guy) dated a black girl who worked in drama and I guess had access to costumes, but she had a fantasy of him dressing up like Thomas Jefferson (with the pompadour) and her as a slave girl and for him to "demand" she please her master, which seems pretty f'd up to me. Even stranger: she had him dress up like a wolf (wolf mask and claws) while she dressed up like little red riding hood and he chased her around the room and growled and eventually had his way or whatever. I asked him - didn't you feel like a damn fool and he said he said he felt pretty silly, especially in the wolf outfit and growling and chasing her, but that he still went along with it, as she turned him on so much, he didn't really care what it took to screw her. Anyone ever heard of anything this strange?

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 116 (view)

A Kissing Primer - for guys or those who need it Posted: 4/6/2009 1:12:29 PM
Kissing? It starts with the lips ... and then you move up to her belly button ... Hey! I'm still on topic here - kissing is kissing and lips are lips ...

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 110 (view)

A Kissing Primer - for guys or those who need it Posted: 4/5/2009 8:58:14 PM
I've kissed about 150 girls and have a pretty good bell curve of what's falls within the norm and what gets weird. In fact, I've classified these few pathological kissers and created some names for them, starting with: (1) "the ocean-going" kiss, where the girl slobbers all over you and you feel you may drown in her drool; (2) it's opposite, the "desert kiss" where her mouth is so dry, your tongue almost sticks to hers like dry ice; (3) the "vampire" kiss, where they begin biting, not gently and a part of varying routine, which is fine, but where their overzealousness brings blood; (4) the "dental hygenist" who attacks the inside of your mouth and you feel like you are choking on her tongue, but at least you get your tonsils checked and teeth cleaned for free; (5) the "turtle" where you can't find her tongue, which appear to be very shy - hard to get worked up with no tongue; (6) "anal-lips" where they have formed their lips extremely tight - it makes you wonder about their potty training during the formative years; (7) "blubber lips" where they smear around on your face and you feel you are kissing a dead corpse; (8) the "windmill tongue" where, although you're into a few swirls here and there, she keeps going faster and faster and there's no variation and what the hell is wrong with her?; (9) the "tongue sucker" who sucks your tongue, which is sort of cool is done gently, but I'm speaking here of more of a vacuum-cleaner sensation, where it feels like your tongue is going to be sucked down her throat; (10) your turn to add your own. :)

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 1660 (view)

groaners Posted: 3/26/2009 9:56:11 PM
A man went into a brothel and asked the receptionist, "Give me the ugliest woman you've got." The receptionist protested, "But sir, you're spending a lot of money. Why wouldn't you want the prettiest woman we've got?" The man replied, "I'm homesick, not horny." The offering plate was passed during a church service and a gay man put in a brand new fifty-dollar bill. When the offering was brought back to the alter, the preacher said, "Well, looky here - one of our members put in a brand new fifty-dollar bill! I'd like to recognize that person, and furthermore, I'd like them to pick the next three hymns." The gay guy stood up and pointed, "Well I'llth take him ... him ... and him." Why do Pollocks bury their dead with their butts sticking out of the ground? So they'll have a place to park their bikes at the funerals.

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

One liners Posted: 3/26/2009 9:17:50 PM
A man walked into a psychiatrist's office and said, "I just don't understand why I don't have any friends, you stupid fat-ass slob." "Dmn, you're like the prize winning fish on POF ... I can't decide whether I want to eat you or mount you."

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Things to say when getting a colonoscopy Posted: 3/26/2009 2:21:59 PM
I get the sigmoidoscopy every 3 months because I'm in a study for Humira. And Willow, you're right, there is no sedation. Because I'm in a study, during each sigmoidoscopy, in attendance is (1) a regular nurse, (2) my doctor, and (3) the lady over the study. She is also a nurse, but doesn't look like a nurse, since she's dressed like a businesswoman. So it's kind of weird. But it got weirder. At my second sigmoidoscopy, the doctor actually asked me if I minded if one of the equipment salesmen came in and just observed. Before I could answer, a guy in a business suit sort of poked his head around the door and shyly waved. You could tell it was the doctor's idea and not his, as he appeared to be very, very uncomfortable being in there. Don't blame him. So, I'm turned towards the TV with my bare ass showing to the what seemed like a large gathering at that point standing behind me, except for the official nurse, who was in front of me. For some reason, I become a smart-ass at hospitals, maybe as a way to relieve the stress. Anyway, I heard the pop of the latex glove and then, without warning, I felt the cold lubricant jelly on my ass and suddenly his finger fired up into me and I looked directly at the nurse and said, "Mooooooon River!" No laughs, as the doctor is known as a no-nonsense doctor, and I think everyone is scared of him. God, that is the most UNnatural feeling that I will never get used to. Next, he's holding the instrument with the camera on it and discussing the equipment with the salesman and I'm watching the TV and everything is swirling on the screen as he's waving the instrument with the camera while he talks. Then, he says, "Let's get started" and it weird as I see on the TV screen MY ASS at a distance and suddenly the instrument is swooping down towards it's designated target, the hole at the center of my ass. All while the audience behind me is observing. Then we're in the tunnel. I am so damn uncomfortable. I will use the lines above the next time. But the doctor pats me on the shoulder and says, "We'll give a set of the pictures after we're finished." And I say, "Thanks, doc, they'll make a fine addition in the ole family album." and the salesman can't resist and says, "Save them and sent them out as Christmas cards." Afterwards, back at the nurse over the study's office, I sarcastically ask her if next time, we can invite the first year pre-med Emory students to attend. And she says, "Well, I CAN if you really want" and smiles. No thank you and please, no more salesmen. I can't wait to use some of the lines above. :)

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 39 (view)

Twice ...Wow, I had no idea... Posted: 3/24/2009 4:10:54 PM
Now it's not about Viagra (well, that helps). But there is a pill out called "The Volume Pill." I do not recommend it. Yes, I tried it. A friend claimed he could "sign his name on his girlfriend's face" and HAVE MULTIPLE ORGASMS. I thought, "Hey, now THAT'S something I'd like to be able to do. Kind of impress my girlfriend. Heh heh." She lived in another state. We met off POF. LDR. Finally, the day arrived. I picked her up at the airport. The day had arrived. We were finally together. Well, "The Volume Pill" does work. And doesn't. At least for me. Yes, there was volume. Blew the most massive load. Like a shotgun blast. Wonder I didn't blow her off me and against the bedroom wall. She sort of freaked out: "Hey ... there's a giant wet spot on the bed. My God..." I was like, "Yep. That was me." But then, for the next week, nothing came out. I was empty. And she began wondering if I was turned on, "Why are you not having any orgasms? Do I not turn you on?" ME: "No, no ... it's not you." HER: "Well, our first time, you nearly drowned me. And now, nothing. Not one orgasm." Four days had passed. Had to spill the beans in order for her not to take it personally. But, for other guys, it's supposed to be able to give them multiple orgasms. Just a little heads up, although I may just be jealous.

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

Twice ...Wow, I had no idea... Posted: 3/24/2009 6:16:11 AM
Funny how time changes everything. Now, instead of losing control in 5 minutes, I have total self-control and could pretty much last as long as I want, if wasn't always completely exhausted after 5 minutes. However, if I switch her to being on top and facing away from the muted TV, AND if I have my Viagra, I've found I can please her and get her off repeatedly while enjoy college basketball in the background. For me, the challenge is just achieving one orgasm, but if I haven't gone too numb and if the game in the background is exciting enough, there's times the combination of stimuli has pushed me over the edge into a dribbling little orgasm. And then, pleased with myself, I go get something to eat and read the newspaper. :)

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Twice ...Wow, I had no idea... Posted: 3/23/2009 3:44:22 PM
Guys can be tricky. For example, back in my college days, I lasted about 5 minutes. But! Because I knew she would be telling all her friends and sorority sisters, I just kept going. Anytime, you pull out, right after having an orgasm, the male organ is extremely sensitive. So, much so, that pulling out too fast and it's like a stun gun just jolted you. So, TO KEEP GOING, it's pure torture. I would always pull the girl's head to me so she couldn't see the incredible anguish I was going through. Gritting my teeth and trembling, as the "stun gun" experience continued for a few minutes. Then, numbness. I kept going (she's going to report this experience to her friends, GOTTA keep going!!!). And also, by continuing, I found I could remain hard. And then, I learned that if I continued, about 15 minutes later, the feeling came back and the sex was great because I could pound away and not have to worry about cumming. Such self-control!!! And then, in a little bit, I could pull off another orgasm, but it helped if she seemed to be having an orgasm, which I believed she was actually having, but probably was faking. And that extra turn-on would send me to number 2, if I were lucky. And then, I would be secretly pleased with myself, especially because it APPEARED like I had gone a full 35 minutes before my first (I showed no emotion during the first one, trying to fool her I had not cum yet, as if the 2nd was my actual 1st). All this and before Viagra existed. :)

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 234 (view)

Getting even or holding a grudge... which would you do? Posted: 2/24/2009 7:48:45 AM
I have learned that there are two types of violations you can experience - (1) an event and (2) an ongoing event. For example, someone you love cheats on you and it's with your best friend. You end the relationship, deal with it, which of course, will take time, but then you are free to move on with your life. On the other hand, and what I consider much worse, you have someone violate you (let's say, it's something major and has to do with legalities) and let's say it's going to take several months or even years to know the outcome. The AMBIVALENCE of not knowing what the outcome will be and if you will ever be vindicated can wear on you all this time. You're WAITING for justice, which will be your revenge, but there is no guarantee you will get it. You can't let go (of your grudge) and move on because it's continually hanging over you. And if you do let go of your grudge one day, then two days later, you're pissed again. It can drive you crazy. Anyone ever see "The Count of Monte Cristo"? He gets his revenge, but in the end, feels it was the wrong choice. Something to think about.

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 71 (view)

32 years later: Asking to much to ask for pics? Posted: 2/23/2009 5:47:15 PM
All she has to do is mail the originals. If she feels like there's a breach of trust, then why IM me (she initiated). That's NOW. I'm wanting something from my past. Not pics of her, but of me. And yes, I'm stomping my feet and having a fit because I have zero pics from then and who wouldn't want something that is apart of one's past. We're not together in the pics. It's just me. Something a friend would do for another friend. As to scanning, you simply go to the nearest Kinkos and ask the kid behind the counter to create a copy. Two pics. Mail or email. Done. No breach of anything. Oh, well. I'll get over it.

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

32 years later: Asking to much to ask for pics? Posted: 2/20/2009 7:39:19 PM
OP here. Thanks everyone, for the feedback. Clarification: If her husband found all the stuff we had written, I feel he would not care one iota. There are no sexual innuendoes or anything (except for the brief comment about me begin buff, but no big deal). Here is a sample of what our conversations are like and you'll get the tone of exactly how things have rolled along: "Tell me how your life has been. Great! ... No kids? Did you ever consider adopting? So, are you still doing art? I'd love to see it. Me, nope. Why am I still not married? I don't know. Had some wonderful women in my life when I was in my 20s and 30s who might have been right, but I like my freedom I guess. We were crazy kids back then. Remember my dog, Madam? She died when I was around 27. Oh, you have dogs. ... I'm glad you're happy. How is your dad? He died? I'm sorry. I always liked your dad and your mom. My mom? She passed in '89. Yep, very tough. She loved you. I know you liked her a lot. She never liked some of my friends and was always right about in her judgment of character. Yes, the ***hole would be one. No, I'm no longer friends with him. Why did you hate him? Oh, I forgot about that. Remember he dated so and so? I wonder what she's doing these days. Yes, I'm enjoying FB. I saw you added so and so. I never knew her, but we're chatting some now. Has 18 kids. Wow. Hey, by the way ... serious for a second here: Just for the record, if you feel I am doing anything that could cause any kind of conflict between you and your husband, let me know. I have nothing but good intentions. Yeah, it's nice that we can be just friends. Yep, we are just friends and that's okay. No, I used to date so and so. No, not interested in [so and so] anymore. We broke up way back. Yes, I love my work. Oh, you found those pics? I'm buff? Cool. I'm never going to get the six pack back. Let me ask you, could you mail them to me, if you don't care about them? You want to keep them? Okay. Well, can you scan them and email them? I have no pics from my teen years and maybe I'm having a mid-life, but I'd love to have proof that I once, was buff. You can't send them b/c your husband would get mad? I'm not asking for you to send pics of you. Of me. For just me. It would mean a lot. No. I don't understand, but okay, I guess. No, I don't want to cause any conflict so if it would, forget it. No, I just don't see how. Our entire conversation is innocent. We're just friends and i have no intentions of anything else. I know you feel the same way. I just would like the pics since you kept them anyway. Ah, just forget it. See? That's about the entire tone of things but much more nothingness about other people and school and old friends and how things are now. I'm sorry if it's not as juicy as you might have thought. Very basic and now I just want the damn pictures of ME!!! :)

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 62 (view)

Age difference too much? Posted: 2/20/2009 7:08:02 PM
I believe that age is a number TO A CERTAIN EXTENT. Personality, typically, does not change. Impatient at 20 = impatient at 40 (maybe slightly more patient). Impulsive at 20 = impulsive at 40. Tell white lies at 20. Tells white lies at 40. Judgmental at 20 = judgmental at 40. Controller at 20. Controller at 40 (although this can reverse with big age differences). And on and on. Generally, unless there is a major religious experience or a person has been in therapy for years, personality DOES NOT CHANGE. However, THINGS THAT DO CHANGE are: (1) VALUES; e.g. After getting out and working your ass for years and then paying taxes you might change your ideas about government; (2) PRIORITIES; e.g. physical fitness: your metabolism WILL slow down as you get older; you either change your diet or become an exercise fanatic or gain weight and are okay with it. These are examples of things that do make a person think because they are growing into real life. Which she has not yet experienced enough of yet, to know who she is, regarding values and priorities and other such things. In other words, if I were you, GIVEN HER AGE, I'd be careful. She hasn't stepped out and lived and supported herself long enough. She's basically gotten out of high school a couple of years and been pretty much around people her age and is impressed with your "worldliness." But in time, she will move from her circle of friends who are around her age and into "adult world" where men and women's ages range from 20 to 60+. And then she will learn how little she knows and the continuous hard work will either make her sink or swim. Grow or stagnate. And thus, whether her attraction to you will sustain is still a complete mystery and only time will tell.

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 411 (view)

Sarcasm red flag or not? Posted: 2/20/2009 3:48:05 PM
Very simple: JAY LENO IS SARCASTIC. DAVID LETTERMAN IS SARCASTIC. ALL THE OTHERS ARE. The networks have plenty of money and choose anyone they want to host a late night talk show. Of all the types of people they could choose, they chose people with SARCASTIC PERSONALITIES. Why? Because most people love their personalities and find them entertaining. NOT PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE. The result? Millions watch night after night after night. For years. THEREFORE, nothing wrong with sarcasm. It's a facet of having a good sense of humor, which most people like.

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

32 years later: Asking to much to ask for pics? Posted: 2/20/2009 3:22:48 PM
Well, we were 16 - 15 through 18 - 17 and had no sense back then. But good point. :)

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

32 years later: Asking to much to ask for pics? Posted: 2/20/2009 3:18:49 PM
After 32 years, on F B - ran into my first love. A shock. IMd. Like old friends. Nothing there, but it's bittersweet. She's married. I have no romantic interest. She has no romantic interest. (I have had far greater loves in my life). Friends only. So, it's NICE remembering old times. No innuendoes. Nothing sexual. Just clean, basic stuff. Anyway, she found old photos of me, when I life guarded. Laughed and teased me, "You were really ripped and you have a six-pack." ME: "Really? Well, not anymore!" Later, I send an email: "Any chance you could sent them to me? I have no pictures at all from that time period. None with my shirt off. And to be honest, my narcissism is kicking in." She says, "I could never hurt my husband by sending pics of someone from my past." Me: "I would understand if you were sending pics of YOU to me. But you're sending pics of ME, that you already went to the trouble to find on your own, to ME. Nothing naked of you. Nothing naked of me. But simple pics of me. To me. I'll reimburse you for going to Kinkos. Her: "He would never understand." DOES THIS "LOGIC" MAKE ANY SENSE AT ALL? Help me out here.

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

The treatment of Michael Phelps ...VS.... Wall Street CEOs/Prostitution Posted: 2/10/2009 9:44:53 AM
r90sboxer: I didn't miss the point - almost everyone got side-tracked to Michael Phelps. I mean, what does a picture prove? Didn't mean he actually inhaled. If I remember correctly, people endorsed Clinton, even after he had admitted to have at one time having marijuana in his possession, but said he didn't inhale. Later, he would swear he never had sexual relations with Monica. Phelps, also endorsed by companies and not the American people for president, could have easily said, "I didn't inhale." As to the Wall Street CEOs, it's not about pictures. It's the fact that allegations have been made THAT THEY STOLE FROM THEIR COMPANIES and the prosecutors are not even going to LOOK INTO IT. They're turning their heads. These are older men, not a young guy (Michael Phelps) bothering no one. Am I missing the point? Are you agreeing that the Wall Street CEOs accusation, where the Madam claims to have names and PROOF, should NOT EVEN BE ... INVESTIGATED? If true, STEALING 1000's of $$$ from your company are SERIOUS CRIMES!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

The treatment of Michael Phelps ...VS.... Wall Street CEOs/Prostitution Posted: 2/9/2009 1:33:03 PM
Everyone missed the point here: IT'S PHELPS VS. WALL STREET CEOs. Michael Phelps, whether you think he's guilty or not, is one thing. WALL STREET CEOs were paying for $2000/hr prostitutes ... with their COMPANY CREDIT CARDS .... NOT THEIR MONEY ... and are guilty for prostitution and STEALING!!! The sheriff said he HAD TO prosecute MICHAEL PHELPS, although he stole from no one, harmed no one, but himself, etc. The NY prosecutors feel they DO NOT HAVE TO prosecute the WALL STREET CEOs, although they ARE STEALING from their companies. They are turning their heads, saying it's just something that commonly happens.

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

The treatment of Michael Phelps ...VS.... Wall Street CEOs/Prostitution Posted: 2/8/2009 9:51:21 AM
It disturbs me that Michael Phelps could be hit with the "shameful" charge of smoking marijuana - that the sheriff says he HAS TO charge Michael Phelps - since he's not above the law by being a celebrity VS ... Wall Street CEOs, investment bankers were caught (according to a madam) of charging for $2000/hr prostitutes ON THEIR CORPORATE CREDIT CARDS and New York prosecutors are TURNING THEIR HEADS. This is STEALING from their companies! So, the sheriff HAS TO PROSECUTE this kid .... and .... New York prosecutors are looking the other way. YOUR OPINION?

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

Re: City or Country Posted: 8/15/2008 7:33:59 PM
I'm not happy with either. I want both. My dream is to have a nice cabin in the North GA mountains ~ such beautiful country, surrounded by big, old oaks, pines, maples, etc where the you can hear the soothing wind blowing through the trees. And there are no street lights to drown out the stars. And where you can hear birds chirping and animals moving around fresh in the mornings. On the other hand, after too much solitude, I get restless. And so, a condo in the heart of the city would be great. I like the stimulation and the sounds of the city and the sophistication of the city. I love especially people-watching. What I don't want, but to each his own and it's certainly fine, but to live in the suburbs. No privacy and I feel everything in too uniform and thus, boring. But that's not something awful. Just not my cup of tea, if I had my druthers.

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

Peckish Neighbors : How to Palm them off with smelly cheese Posted: 8/15/2008 7:16:24 PM
Checked back. A lot of good ideas. He's not on POF, but I WILL get him to read these answers. I think it helps to hear a lot of ideas and especially ones that make him realize he's not the first to go through this. Maybe he will give himself "permission" to be honest with these people. So, please, keep 'em coming. Thank you.

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 48 (view)

HOLY HAIRY! IT'S BIGFOOT Posted: 8/15/2008 9:54:06 AM
I know this will seem unbelievable, but a few years ago, I was hiking out in Montana and after trekking through a thick forest, I happened upon a small meadow. And there ... at the edge of the meadow, I saw ... yes ... a Big Foot. I got a little closer, as there appeared to be more than one entity. I pulled out my binoculars to get a better view. I could not believe my eyes: There was not only Big Foot, but the Lock Ness Monster AND Elvis all standing together. I tried not to panic. Quickly, I pulled out my camera, to take a picture, but unfortunately, it jammed. And, suddenly out of nowhere, before I could fix my camera, a UFO appeared. They all got on board and flew off. No one believes me, but this IS true. And, because there are so many reportings around the world of UFOs, Big Foot, the Lock Ness, and of course, Elvis, it has to be true. In my case, I just got lucky, as they all just happened to be together. I was so scared.

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Pesty Neighbors : How to Get Rid Of Posted: 8/15/2008 9:33:40 AM
A buddy of mine, Jeff, is single and lives in a all-married neighborhood; he moved there about a year ago. Directly across the street, lives a couple. Over time, they have become "friends". Over time, the neighbors have slowly become more and more smothering. He comes home at night, and the husband comes over and rings the doorbell, knowing Jeff's at home. Or they call, inviting him over continuously. How do you get the point over to these people, without creating a rift? I suggested some silly ideas: Put dog poop on your shoe, and go over and track it in their house; spray some of that funk you can buy at a specialty store where they can't tolerate his presence; or when the husband is over, say, "You know [Bill], there's a good reason I'm single, if you know what I mean"; or lastly, become a Bible-thumper and preach to them. Jeff got irritated with my answers, so I said, "Just be honest. Tell them that after you work all day, you need alone-time, that it's not personal" ... etc, etc. Jeff says I just don't understand - that they wouldn't understand and they would take it the wrong way. So, when in situations like this, I go to the POF forums, as I find there are some very smart people on here, who have experienced similar situations. Suggestions? Actions or communications - if it's communication, sometimes the key is how you say it and what you say, so please be specific, as to the wording. Thank you.

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Your Most Romantic Date Ever Posted: 5/30/2008 7:44:56 AM
Damn, Pip_B ... I had read everything up to yours and because it was so long, I almost decided to skip over it. Thankfully, I didn't. It moved me greatly. By the time I finished, it had stirred up long lost, bittersweet feelings from my own past. Those rare encounters , those inexplicable connections that happen only very, very rarely. And we never forget. Thanks for sharing your story. P.S. You're a damned good writer. You should consider making it your profession. Seriously.

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Your Most Romantic Date Ever Posted: 5/29/2008 2:53:17 PM
I think this is an interesting question because some of us might learn something or it might give men good ideas for planning a romantic date. Try to tell the story and include the ambience, how it affected all your senses, where it took place, what made it so special.

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

Is that a Nipple? OH NOOOOOOOOOOO Posted: 5/16/2008 3:36:06 PM
If you think about it, technically, the skin is just an organ that's to protect and insulate the rest of the body. Why is it that it's okay to show a naked head, but not a naked breast? Or that a bare breast except with just a nipple-covering is okay, but with just an areola peeking out, and it's really nude? Why does it that when a woman's rear is completely uncovered, she's considered naked, but when she has a G-string covering, it's okay? Why is it that a woman would be embarrassed to go to a public beach in her underwear, which provides substantial covering, but be okay with just a bikini, which shows much more skin? Why is it when a woman is in a bikini on the beach, there's nothing obscene about it; yet, if she were to enter a crowed room in the same bikini where everyone else was fully dressed, it would be far more stimulating to a male, as she would appear practically naked?

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 82 (view)

10 Worst Pick up lines Posted: 5/12/2008 6:35:36 PM
Your skin is so creamy I bet you never even had a zit on your ass." Pick up a pack of sugar that actually says, "sugar" on it... then say "You dropped your nametag!" Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight?" "Give me three good reasons why I shouldn't buy you a drink." "Can I even get a fake number?" You're like a prize winning fish... I dont know whether to eat you or mount you." You are the most interesting piece of ass i've talked to all evening." "Whoa, you just gave me the hardest semi I have ever had." "I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button." "Why don't you get down on your knees and smile like a doughnut?" "Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under." "I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast." "I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good." "Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend? " "Hey baby, is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would like to tap that ass! " When God made you, he was showing off." "You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad." "Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it." "Do you want to go to breakfast?" (Sure) "Should I call you, or nudge you?"

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Profile Names/Headings ... Name the Top Cliches Posted: 5/12/2008 5:49:04 PM
How many of you get worn-out with the same cliches either as user names or especially the headlines? Here are some of that I can barely stomach anymore (from a guy's perspective): #1: "Good-hearted Man" ... lot's of variations. The problem is how to tell the difference between a "good-hearted" man and a "bad man" since a bad man would have no problem lying and claiming to be "good-hearted." #2: "Liars Need Not Apply" ... same problem as #1 - how would you tell the difference? I've got others, but I'll let everyone else list their favorites.

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 74 (view)

Do you believe you can meet someone online? Posted: 5/8/2008 2:33:16 PM
I think it's a great way to meet someone local that could lead to a relationship. For me, it's just another outlet that allows me to meet people I would have otherwise, never known about. Additionally, when you meet people in person, you don't really know what type of relationship they're seeking, if they are divorced, if they have children, what their interests are, etc. - which is all important information to know before you begin getting involved. Online gives you access to so many more people, yet it's awkward because the in-person dynamics can be very different. But this site is free, so what have you to lose?

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 51 (view)

Going on a date as is. Would you do it? Posted: 5/5/2008 3:04:38 PM
Two-minute shower, throw on cap and go. Then, realizing I'm completely naked, except for my cap, throw on some casual clothes and go.

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 44 (view)

Slept with gfs mom and now she may be PREGO Posted: 4/29/2008 3:54:11 PM
I think this is a good strategy: Since you've already screwed your g/f's mom, don't stop now. As a distraction, screw all your girlfriend's sisters and possibly an aunt or even the uncle. Then, turn it back on THEM and point out none of this would have happened if the family wasn't so f'd up and dysfunctional. Good luck. :)

Renaissance Mun

Joined: 8/9/2007

Msg: 171 (view)

guys, women who squirt.... Posted: 4/29/2008 3:37:25 PM
Curious: Is there any kind of squirting world record recorded anywhere ... like longest squirt by a woman? It might makee a great new 21st century Olympic sport, sort of like "The long Jump" but instead, "The Long Squirt". Women representing different countries, lined up on their backs, "Ready, set, bang!" "And we have the gold medal winner! 6ft 4 inches!!! Fans going wild!

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