who gets your stuff? chat & forums.

Posted In Forum:

Home

MyForums

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: who gets your stuff?

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 76 (view)

who gets your stuff? Posted: 11/4/2009 4:45:26 PM
Charity - BIG TIME!!! It's just stuff. Most will be animal charities.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 122 (view)

What's the upside to being over 50 and single Posted: 11/4/2009 2:42:57 PM
Is there a downside to being over 50 and single No regrets, I have been flying solo since 1987. Love having control of the remote; if I want to sleep in until noon on weekends, so be it; don't have to cook if I don't feel it; not responsible for someone else's social calendar; vacation any place I want; don't have to justify my actions, reasons or words to anyone else.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Being together for 30, 40, 50 years. Posted: 10/31/2009 9:26:44 PM
My parents have been married for 58 years, both are still alive. I think marriage will last as long as a couple WANTS it to last. Even though the vows say "for better or for worse", sad to say but most are only in a marriage as long as things are for the "better".

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

he took me for granted...too long...I said its over...will he think? Posted: 10/26/2009 12:02:25 PM
I reckon I've got to quote what Dr. Phil would say "past behavior is a good indication of future behavior". This guy isn't going to change and he can't be fixed. What can be changed is you can move on and without him. Last but not least, to subject your kids to this drama is nothing but pure child abuse!

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

What ever happened to Love Posted: 10/26/2009 11:59:42 AM
If love falls into my lap again, I'd say it's great! If it doesn't, my life is still pretty great. Relationships are complicated nowadays because we make them complicated, which scares off a good chunk of folks.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Does this really make me shallow? Posted: 10/26/2009 10:18:50 AM
OP - if you aren't attracted to overweight women, you aren't. There's no need to apologize. Unfortunately for the overweight category, it is harder to find dates, especially for women. I'm not attracted to men who are bald and built like Santa Clause. I refuse to apologize for what I find attracted in men.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

you just know Posted: 10/26/2009 10:16:45 AM
It's really hard for two people to be on the same page when they both can say "you just know" at the same time. Breakups happen for all sorts of reasons, mostly because 2 people aren't on the same page in life (philosophy; values; dreams; etc).

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

when did coffee become a first date? Posted: 10/26/2009 10:14:50 AM
I don't consider coffee to be a date. Let's get real here. It's the first "meet & greet". It's simple, quick, easy, and if your meeting has become hellish, there's a quick escape! Not only that, but it's safe to meet in public!

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

That dreaded L word... Posted: 10/26/2009 10:12:42 AM
OP - of course it's easy for you to say "I love you" to your kids. After all, it wasn't them that broke your heart. To say it to a woman is risky and you aren't sure if that love will be returned. Relationships are about laying your heart on the table. You've got to get out of your comfort zone unless you're willing to be alone the rest of your life. Get some counseling to help steer you in the right direction. If you want to be in a successful long term relationship or even remarry, you'd better be able to say, feel and know the words "I love you".

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 45 (view)

my boyfriend asked me for money Posted: 10/26/2009 10:09:20 AM
OP - you're 28 years old, consider this a HUGE learning experience. In the early stages of dating, any money that you receive shouldn't be a topic of conversation. This guy has to earn your trust and likewise, you have to earn his trust. I'm glad to read that you are moving on. Seems Mr. Slacker has more issues than just money.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 36 (view)

Been there done that, what advice to you give to someone getting married? Posted: 10/25/2009 11:19:38 AM
Date each other for at least 4 seasons before getting engaged. Take a week long trip together (get out of that comfort zone); and see each other when you're sick. You've got to be friends before lovers; respect each other; and remember that everything in the relationship is negotiable. Pre-nups? It's up to the couple but for 2nd marriages and later in life, it's an absolute! Last but not least, you've got to put the marriage above everything else - that means above children, careers, parents, etc.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 168 (view)

I Don't Need A Man.., I very Independent..etc etc = RED Flags? Posted: 10/25/2009 9:54:05 AM
I think that's a MAJOR turnoff in any profile. It just reeks of insecurity. By the time one reaches age 21 they should be able to hold a job, balance their checkbook, cook their meals, clean their house and live responsibly, doesn't matter what sex you are.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 34 (view)

Second (or Third or. . . ) Time Around Posted: 10/23/2009 4:16:55 PM
We all learn lessons, Life is the greatest teacher there is. I truly believe that if we go through life without making mistakes, what do we have to learn? If we didn't experience sadness or anger, how would we truly know what joy or happiness would be? What I do know about myself is I'm not up to fixing or changing another person, in any type of relationship. If I can't accept their behavior or there are deal breakers, they aren't a part of my life.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 62 (view)

Would a Woman date a Man if she had a higher salary than him? Posted: 10/22/2009 3:40:49 PM
It's not so much of what is in his wallet that counts, it's how a man manages his money and his attitude towards money is what counts (IMO).

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

You're 'not ready for a relationship'? What does that mean? Posted: 10/22/2009 3:36:34 PM
OP - if a person says they aren't ready for a relationship, it means that. Be it with you or another person. I don't think a full detailed explanation is needed. If someone isn't into you 100% then you really are better off without them.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 65 (view)

too much in debt? Posted: 10/22/2009 3:35:17 PM
OP - need to know what type of debt it is. There's good debt (student loans & mortgages); then there's bad debt (car payments; credit cards; and medical bills). If you have ANY DOUBTS about a person, then you shouldn't get married. Instead of asking the POF gang, the two of you need to have your own private discussions about money. When it comes time to engagement or move-in, then review bank statements; credit histories; and tax returns. Last but not least, a pre-nup would be a good order of business.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 79 (view)

Are Your Filters Set Too High? Posted: 10/21/2009 3:56:17 PM
It's easy for me as far as filters go. I'm not willing to date one who smokes like a chimney; has to drink a six pack a day; snorts coke; is over the age of 60; or has young kids under the age of 18, or is piss poor with the way they handle their money, those are deal breakers. I'm not particular about their religion, political affiliation, what they do for a living, hobbies, etc. those are areas where there's LOADS OF ROOM for give & take. I figure if I meet a man that can meet 80% of my "wish list", then I've scored a home run!

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

Men over 45 who dye their hair Posted: 10/21/2009 3:51:17 PM
Doesn't phase me a bit. Well, if he dyes it purple, green or any other "rock & roll" color, I'm probably gonna think Halloween is a bit premature.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Casual v Serious Posted: 10/21/2009 3:50:16 PM
Loo - don't beat yourself up for sleeping with this man. You can't change what you've done in the past. HOWEVER, you can control what you want in the future with this guy. Seems he's not over his divorce, he isn't the best of relationship material (in the moment), so I suggest you back off on physical intimacy. If your heart isn't in "casual", then don't do it. If you lose the guy, you're better off, but it's a risk you'll take.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

Location, location Posted: 10/20/2009 4:06:41 PM
OP - I'm not about to move at this point in my life. However, I still wonder if Texas is actually in another country. As far as the risk thing of selling my awesome home & leaving my awesome job in the hope of meeting someone, I'd say my odds are better in Vegas shooting craps!

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

At this age, are we still wearing blinders or do we really want the truth? Posted: 10/16/2009 4:28:28 PM
I'm probably like a bull in a china shop. I'm blunt and have no qualms about speaking the truth. However, when I do let someone down, I do it in the manner that allows them grace and dignity. I'd rather be told the truth than to be told "what I want to hear". Sometimes the truth hurts, but lies of any kind are far worse.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 39 (view)

Do I need to get over my morals? Posted: 10/15/2009 5:20:19 PM
OP - if you ever COMPROMISE your morals, you will regret it. Do you really need to be so hung up over someone else's philosophy? It sounds like this "someone" doesn't have the same morals or values you do. Time to get a backbone and stick up for your principles/values/morals. It takes more courage to stand "alone" than it does to follow the pack to the slaughter.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

The Longer it takes To Get Her in Bed..The Lousier the Lover? Posted: 10/15/2009 5:16:57 PM
OP - what's the rush? Did your Doc give you 3 months to live? IMO, if a guy thinks it's the end of the world if he hasn't shagged me by the 2nd date, for me, it's the end of the beginning. Is it really about the 'score" or the human being?

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 83 (view)

Lack of Kids Posted: 10/15/2009 5:15:08 PM
OP - you just DON'T GET IT! Children are a choice. Marriage is a choice. I could go on & on. Funny thing about kids, in Texas, there's more to getting a hunting or fishing license, than there is to have kids. For me, what would be a "red flag", is one who brings children into this world via many different parents. Example: 4 kids, from 4 different fathers or mothers. Another red flag is to bring a child into this world, and not to provide the child with a loving, nuturing, caring, home environment. Also, I do question a 45 or 50+ year old person who wants to start another family. Go figure, there are things in life that can't be explained.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 78 (view)

Death and the age of 50.... Posted: 10/14/2009 4:47:15 PM
At any age, health is a wild card. My ex hubby died at the age of 39 from a heart attack. There was no warning or symptoms, it was "lights out" in Las Vegas. I think we owe it to ourselves to take the best care of ourselves (emotionally & physically). The way I view death is it is not a bad thing, if the Powers To Be decided to call me home tonight, then so be it. I've lived a good life. What I don't like about death is if one is stuck in a horrible disease and has much pain & suffering to the very end. It's not "when" I die, that raises my eyebrows, it is "how". I hope to be a lucky one and just go in my sleep.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Men and Women spending time with their exclusive Friends Posted: 10/14/2009 4:42:25 PM
Artz, I think anything in life that would be in excess is not a good thing. Doesn't matter if it's working, eating, time on the computer, etc. I really don't care to watch sports, if I were in a relationship & he wants to go to a game, I'd suggest that he take one of his pals, and make it a night out. On the flip side of the coin, if I want to do lunch or a movie, or even a 3 day get-away with my gal pals, I'd certainly like to do it and would do it. If one is in a relationship, it doesn't mean you have to be joined at the hip.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

33 and divorced. Missed the entire dating scene. Any tips?? Help! Posted: 10/12/2009 4:22:11 PM
If you can crawl, if you can walk, surely you can date. It really is simple, at ANY age. You be yourself; don't bullshit others (eventually the BS part will come out); you have fun; and don't set your expectations so high that you're resigned to the Lonely Hearts Club the rest of your life. Yes, dates do tend to be like interviews. I recommend coffee or a quick lunch for the first couple of dates. You'll JUST KNOW IT, when you are comfortable with one, that you can chat for endless hours and feel comfortable.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

television-- pros and cons Posted: 10/12/2009 4:18:48 PM
It seems to me, there is the "Murder Hour", which is between 8 p.m. and 10 p.m. every day. I love NCIS; Criminal Minds; and a few others. However, it seems to me that TV is about murder/violence, or the dumb ass sit-coms which dumbs down the human race. I do enjoy Amazing Race as it shows different parts of the world, and the competition between teams.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

Resources men and women bring to relationships Posted: 10/12/2009 4:16:38 PM
I haven't given it much thought as to what men & women did in the past. When I am in a relationship, I believe that we do things for each other because WE WANT TO, not because it's expected of us or it falls under tradition. Each of us brings something to the table, but in the end, we are better off doing things because WE WANT!

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 40 (view)

perplexed Posted: 10/12/2009 11:40:43 AM
At this stage of the game, it really is none of your business. Even if you marry this guy, it may be none of your business. You can't fix or change the situation he's in. What you need to be concerned with, is how he treats you, and others around the two of you. Not every family lives like "Leave It to Beaver".

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Misconceptions and Ms Takes Posted: 10/12/2009 11:35:50 AM
Phil, if you want things to happen in your life, YOU'VE GOT TO MAKE THEM HAPPEN! If you don't, life will pass you by. Yes, it does mean taking a chance and getting out of your comfort zone.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Show some intelligence when writing someone. Posted: 10/12/2009 11:33:52 AM
Yup, those lovely one liners. Even worse, when the spelling is so poor or they reply in text talk. Whether we like it or not, an email does give an impression of the writer.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 105 (view)

Is it ever okay to resort to violence? Posted: 10/11/2009 4:26:53 PM
HELL NO!!! Self defense, then it's ok.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 104 (view)

Should I Be Able to Accept My Husband Smoking Pot? Posted: 10/11/2009 4:26:06 PM
You can't change the man, nor can you fix him. If his smoking pot is against your principles/value system, you have one of two things to do. Accept, or move on. It depends on how you value your principles, and what "battles", you are willing to fight for.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 57 (view)

divorce verses affair...isnt it about time we accepted affairs.. Posted: 10/11/2009 4:24:58 PM
Why would I want to accept an affair? Look, if a guy is going to cheat on me, why would I stomach being able to trust him in other issues? It'd be a snowball chance in hell before I would "accept" an affair. I have zero tolerance for liars, cheats, and thieves. It doesn't matter if it's a marriage, engagement, or exclusive dating relationship.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 73 (view)

pre-nups Posted: 10/11/2009 4:22:26 PM
If I were to remarry, I would insist upon a pre-nup. That is a BIG "if", because I don't feel the need for marriage.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

I'm 45 and going back to school at night to finish my Bachelors Posted: 10/11/2009 4:21:13 PM
OP - it's not going to matter what you do for a living. I applaud you for going back to school. Education is a gift. Face it, the over 45 crowd is going to want higher salaries, simply put, we come with more experience. Unfortunately, companies tend to look at the bottom line. It's not going to matter how much or how little education you have, it's WHAT YOU CAN BRING TO THE TABLE, when it comes to a job!

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 53 (view)

Better or Worse Posted: 10/11/2009 4:19:33 PM
I guess my problem is that I want it all. For me, a man has to be reasonably attractive. Face it, I'm not attracted to a man that is 5'8" and weighs 250 pounds. Also, too many of the guys have deal breakers (smoking, excessive drinking, or kids under the age of 18). I agree OP - we all look for the "instant gratification", and in our search for "the one", it gets rather frustrating. I figure if a man can meet 80% of what I'm looking for, I'm very happy.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Something I heard on the radio.... Posted: 10/3/2009 11:02:43 AM
At my age, it doesn't matter what my grades at Arizona State University were. It doesn't matter whether it's business, friendship, marriage, or any other type of relationship. If we want to be a part of it, we have to have something to offer. There is no such thing as perfection. We ALL are students of Life, and it is Life's Lessons that we'll either get it or we don't. Whatever you decide upon in life, do your best and do it with passion!

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 41 (view)

Gold-digger is just a term men invented to Posted: 10/3/2009 10:58:39 AM
Folks, if someone gets their knickers or tighty whities in a knot over paying for a silly drink, THEY SHOULDN'T BE DATING!! If a couple has been dating awhile, they can and should take turns paying, keeping in mind not to go into debt just to impress your date!

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 34 (view)

Is just me or is everyone these days having babies and getting married Posted: 10/3/2009 10:55:31 AM
At age 24 the last thing you need to do is be married and have young ones. I'm glad you are travelling and are in a good job. You're one of the fortunate ones. Every day, find something in your life that you are GRATEFUL for. You'd be surprised how far gratitude in life goes. Enjoy your life today!

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

I am confused as to what I need to do. Posted: 10/3/2009 10:53:35 AM
AWR - why do I think this man isn't so "great"? He's like a faucet, hot and cold. You don't need that in your life. At this point, I fail to understand what this guy has to offer you, but a life of uncertainty. Go spend a couple of weeks with him if you want, but I don't advise giving up your job, home, etc. on a whim. Also, the economy stinks right now, so if you've got a good thing going at work, I'd keep that.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Is it a good idea for a couple to tell each other how much money they make? Posted: 9/27/2009 10:44:48 AM
It depends on where you want the relationship to go. If it's casual dating or FWB, there's no need to get into heavy financial discussions. If it comes down to living together, engagement, or marriage, then it's time to have the financial discussions.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Women who have more education than the man whom they are dating Posted: 9/27/2009 10:43:04 AM
Most of the men that I've met don't have college degrees. For me, I knew that getting a good education was key to my survival skills. I didn't want to be a Plumber, Electrician, or any other blue collar skills, so I knew that going to college was the right thing for me. Life isn't always about book smarts. I look for a man that has good common sense, good work ethic, and can converse on many different topics. By the same token, I wouldn't date a man who has a high school degree, doesn't know who is President, and he's content working at Wally World. If one wants to achieve financial success, it will take either a good education, a good trade/technical skill, owning their own business or being one hell of a good salesperson. A high school degree or GED in itself isn't going to cut it for making a living.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 136 (view)

Article On Mature Ladies and Dating. Posted: 9/26/2009 9:16:07 AM
I don't mind having a partner in my life, but I'm not about to get married again. Been there (once) and done it. I'd rather be single and alone, than to be in a relationship with a fella that doesn't appreciate, love, or respect me.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

How do I get myself, to give myself, permission to let this go...? Posted: 9/22/2009 10:56:38 AM
OP - you're 22 years old. It's time you check in with yourself and tell yourself that you deserve better than this cad. The cheating hurts emotionally. Now, it gets worse, you don't know who he's been with, PLUS you don't know if he's had unprotected sex. Is this guy totally worth risking your life?? Cheaters do not make good people. He's cheating on you, he's cheating on others. You deserve better but YOU need to figure that out.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Can you lose the ability to love and care for someone? Posted: 9/22/2009 10:54:16 AM
OP - it sounds like you've checked out emotionally. Feelings (love, hate, anger, happiness, etc) are important in not just survival but LIVING. I recommend you seek counseling, and also have a good physical. You want to rule out physical & mental. Also, take a look at your life as a whole, there could be other things going on (job, finances, family, etc), that could be impacting your outlook.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Letting go of someone you don't love Posted: 9/22/2009 10:51:33 AM
Mark - you're going to have to let her down and gently. Will it hurt? Yeah, but if aren't into her, you're wasting your time and HER TIME! Face it, you're not happy, and she has probably picked up on that. Time to have the talk (face to face) and let her go with grace and dignity.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 66 (view)

Meeting her other suitors? - wtf Posted: 9/22/2009 10:49:14 AM
Does the word PLAYER come to mind? If this other dude is a LONG time friend that's one thing, but based on what you've posted, it sounds like dudes are a revolving door. If I were you, I'd take the highway. Oh, and the sex part - make sure it is safe sex. All it takes is one time, and it could cost you your life.

Suecat51

Joined: 8/11/2007

Msg: 53 (view)

why woman get mad!!!!!!!!!! Posted: 9/22/2009 10:45:04 AM
Hmm, maybe a couple of reasons: she's not attracted to YOU; she has the Madonna/Whore complex; wrong time of the month; perhaps it's the way you looked at her (eyes on her chest too long); and it depends on your comment. Damned if we do and damned if we don't. Ain't life grand!

Show ALL Forums