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 Author Thread: Hey there all.....
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Hey there all.....
Posted: 10/6/2007 8:09:36 AM
>>> Let me know how to get ahold of your publication, Artist

When the website portion goes live, I'll post that. The publication should be distributed around town. As I said, we don't have any ideas for subscriptions yet, but I'm sure we could work something out.

We are in the advertising gathering stage, and this time of year is somewhat hard, everyone is out there trying to sell ads that don't do anything. Advertising is a black hole for most businesses, which is why we have different plans to show the advertisers just where there money is going and how it's working for them. There are some publications around town that are just *horrible* and are getting high dollars for page ads. I don't know who reads them, or why advertisers would throw money away on them. Even the ads aren't "informative" just flashy and pointless IMHO.

But, the need for a "guide" to city life, and things to do is very real.

I've lived here most of my life, and still don't know any of the places to go.

And, with places opening and closing so fast, maybe this sort of publication will help the good ideas to catch on and survive.

I hope to have a pre-publication mock up in the next week or so.

Scott
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Pittsburgh Bash
Posted: 10/6/2007 7:58:55 AM
>> I applaud your input BodyArtist! Your ideas make a lot of sense.

Thanks.

But, we still have to overcome the inertia and get something moving :) The road to solitude is paved with good ideas ;) (Or something like that )
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Pittsburgh Bash
Posted: 10/6/2007 7:57:07 AM
Well, next weekend would be good. But I work saturdays, so I only have sunday off. That doesn't mean any one else can't arrange a meet up on saturday somewhere. Inertia is the killer. People have to pick a time/place and just show up.

At a park, the weather is always a variable but if nice and dry, the organizers should plan on bringing ice and cups and small plates. Everyone else should bring some snack food and a bottle of soda or juice, and it becomes a "nibble" thing. No one is out a lot. If someone has a big hot jug, they could bring coffee. Just simple, until or unless there is a real show of hands to make it worthwhile to get burgers or dogs and make a real picnic. Other than gas, it shouldn't cost anyone more than about $5 for a bag or box of something a bottle of drink.

Maybe people should bring their cameras, and make it a photo day. See who can take the best pictures of something, or each other (and get new photos for your profile). That's a good ice breaker, people tend to get silly.

Not everyone wants to get active like playing ball, or running around, and the wind/weather may make trying to play cards very difficult, but a few decks of cards from the dollar store can work well. Simple games like fish, war, or crazy 8's. Let's people talk and interact without thinking too hard.

This time of year, pittsburgh weather is so variable - it could be 70's and sunny, or 50's and rainy.
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Pittsburgh Bash
Posted: 10/4/2007 7:27:46 AM
>> Soooooo.......I've read here that some folks think there's not much
>> going on in the 'Burg......let's show'em different!!!

We have a new publication coming out that is hoping to do just that. We have an idea for a slightly different best of the 'burgh concept, that focuses on things to do, not places to shop -- and given the state of our roads -- how to get there ;)

We've met with two printers, and have a bunch of content. The next step is securing enough advertising to go to print. We want to be in-print so people can carry it with them, and if one venue is blocked, or your date's interests change, you'll have a reference for another place. On-line is nice, but it has its limits. (And we don't want to be as big and tacky as the Entertainment book!)

We hope to be bi-monthly, and the "best" will change issue to issue based on patron feedback, so a new place has just as much chance of being #1 or "the best" as some old establishment, and they can't rest on their laurels. The ratings will change regularly on-line, the print version will be drawn from that. It won't ever be "dusty" because it was printed last December, or February, it will never be more than 2 months old, and the on-line version will be somewhat up to the minute.

Pittsburgh *NEEDS* something like this, and hopefully everyone who has been beating their heads against the walls at night looking for something to do, or something to do on the weekends will have some choices.

If you have ideas for things to _DO_ in the burgh, especially for the dating crowd, rather than the family crowd, please pass them on. If you have something going on that needs more people to show up, let us know. The first issue we hope to get out before TG, which means we have a lot of work ahead of us.

Oh, and it will be a "free" publication, distributed around town. We haven't thought about subscriptions, as mailing is a whole other issue. (pardon the pun)

Scott
aka Bodyartist
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Pittsburgh Bash
Posted: 10/4/2007 7:16:28 AM
Rather than something that costs this sort of money, D&B is expensive, or doing something in the evenings, what about a meet at one of the local parks for a picnic? More to do, to get up, walk around, and such.

We've had some good gatherings at parks like McConnells Mills, Raccoon Creek (both with big open picnic areas) and some other places around town.

As someone who has run events among "strangers" ... renting a room or hall for an event, especially with firm commitments from people, is a risky (and expensive) proposition. Using restaurants is an iffy thing, since you can't predict who else will be there, and it can be expensive for people on limited budgets to justify (and thus, they won't show up).

What works well is to have a regular meeting place,and people who are active about showing up. Coffee on wednesdays at one venue, desserts on thursdays at another. Maybe a themed coffee and cake or bagels on tuesdays. Give people something to look forward to, so if they can't show up one day, they will the next week. And, they can start to plan for it.

Each "event" needs an organizer or two, and can be located at different places around town. There are several sites that can help coordinate this, such as Meetup.com and Yahoo Groups (I haven't used).

If these weekly "schmoozes" are successful, larger events can be drawn from the people who show up to the various weekly ones.

This time of year may seem "perfect" to organize some big event, but you'll be competing with all the other events from work, family, and groups people already belong to - especially on weekends.

Weekday "unwinds" around town are probably the best bet(s).

But, it's always inertia. People want to show up to something established and worth their time, no one wants to be the first, or only one.

Catch-22. it has to exist to attract people, but it has to attract people to exist.

Scott
aka Bodyartist
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Trust
Posted: 10/4/2007 7:02:13 AM
Trust is interesting. Today, it seems to last about half the lifespan of a mayfly.

Trust is not worrying where or what your partner is doing -- at ANY time.

It's knowing that the "relationship" is what it is, and what it's been shown to be, in actions, words, and emotions.

Trust works BOTH ways. You want someone's trust, you need to be trustworthy.

It's *not* the simple BDSM/alt version of "trust" in knowing that for the next hour, what you agree to is going to happen, or that it won't go too far.

People confuse things, and it's really sad. I've caught clips on the HBO Family channel where they have the kids talking about things -- boys/girls, parents, trust, etc -- and it's really disappointing that it is all so SHALLOW and "in the moment."

Trust isn't allowing someone to throw knives at you, and knowing they won't hit you. It's being able to give them your emotions, your feelings, and knowing they will take BETTER care of them than you are.

Trust is earned, it grows, it develops. It doesn't come from someone saying "Trust me" and you go along with it.

Scott
aka Bodyartist
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Conversation is a lost art form
Posted: 9/22/2007 12:27:39 PM


Does anyone really know how to talk anymore? Seems like most women advertise good conversation, yet when trying to initiate conversation it seems like there are expectations or hidden agendas lol... I love to talk about anything and everything, which gives the opportunity to later discuss more personal or serious issues without anyone clamming up... you cannot learn how the other person thinks without 2-way chat, and listening goes with this as well. Thoughts anyone? Better yet, start a conversation with me, it doesn't mean I am trying to bed you, just learn about you lol.


Conversation -- and manners -- are both lost arts.

>> Thoughts anyone? Better yet, start a conversation with me, it doesn't mean
>> I am trying to bed you, just learn about you lol.

Really??? I thought that doing that gets the nastiest replies of all, like "We are not a match," "We have nothing in common," or the best "Not interested." When you've asked them something about their profile, that you found interesting -- such as their interest in something such as raising/breeding pugs, which you also may do.

I've met some of the rudest, nastiest, and down-right inhuman people with some of the nicest (Professionally done???) profiles.

Scott
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 322 (view)
 
Why do mature adults think taking it slow lends itself to a deeper/more meaningful relationship?
Posted: 9/22/2007 12:23:37 PM
>> So please help me to understand why so many mature adults think
>> "taking it slow" lends itself to a deeper/more meaningful relationship?

Because, it's a time-honored truth, and truism.

At 18, 2 years may be a reasonable time to make sure you aren't going to grow apart, before you grow together.

But, at 50, it may seem like you "know" what you want, or the other person, but do you really? It still takes time to know what they are like when the "cameras are off" as it were. While 2 years may be an excessive time, 2-3 months before even thinking about "long term" is not unreasonable. And, how do you know how the person will act around the holidays, to summer vacation plans/needs or kids coming home, or even to sports season.

6 months would be a reasonable minimum before trying to move in together and it should be a year or so before canceling your lease, or putting yourself in a position of no return. People are people.. and the older they get the more set in THEIR ways they become. Not everyone gets better with age...

Scott
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 36 (view)
 
well, I'm not the one who's single...
Posted: 9/22/2007 12:19:27 PM
>> stooping to the name-calling tactic only serves to highlight your lack
>> of any reasonable response.

Or, tearing others down is the cheapest way of trying to build yourself up. Those who can't do, tend to do unto others ;)
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 114 (view)
 
Do You Believe Playing Hard To Get is Important?
Posted: 9/22/2007 12:16:07 PM
>> Do men and women love the chase? Are women turned off by men who are too
>> easy to catch? Or men turned off by women too easy to catch? What do you think?

As pointed out, don't play games. Adults should act like adults, and if the relationship starts out with this sort of game, where will it go from here? Jealousy? Or trying to make partners jealous? Infidelity, or apparent infidelity to see if the other person is still interested? If you want to play those games, fine. High school is out for most of us (18+), and so should these games -- which shouldn't even have been played in Highschool.

If it's all about the catch... what next? They move on to the next hard-to-get?

If you are looking for a comfortable, secure, and game-free relationship, don't start out with games.

On the other hand, this is about going out, not about hopping into bed. That is done all too often, and mostly for the wrong reasons. IMHO it's about the most unattractive thing about a person, especially in this day and age of killer disease. And don't forget herpes.... I'm seeing more and more commercials for medications... meaning the drug companies see a huge potential untapped market.

On another site, I see bulletins constantly about their HPV tests, and treatments, and .... I just feel tragically sorry for those girls -- many in their very early 20s, and very pretty (they are models). They just get used, and used, and keep doing it.

That's the flip-side of playing hard to get when you are attracted -- it's being too easy, when you know it isn't going to work. Having sex, isn't going to keep your partner around, it's a short term "fix" sometimes with dire consequences.

Scott
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 38 (view)
 
submission and ?
Posted: 9/21/2007 4:46:58 PM
>> Now after to reading this intriguing post...I just now come to find out the the
>> REAL DOMINANT is the submissive!!! WHAT????

It's the paradox of the type of relationship, and the world we live in. You can't really "force" someone into submission or slavery -- they have to want it -- and that creates the paradox.

In some cases, the submissive *really* is the one in charge, and that is called "topping from the bottom" ... which was quite punny when it first came out.

Scott
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 37 (view)
 
submission and ?
Posted: 9/21/2007 4:45:09 PM
There is some good advice, and observations, and some of the same old.

The "lifestyle" runs a whole range, and most people (90%+) are not really lifestyle, but it's part of their "play" life.



If you want a man to take you with no rules...no safe words...no power at all on your part, then you are considered a slave and not a sub. A slave has no control over what happens to her and it can get very dangerous. You may expect to run into a true sadist and expect to be dealt with according to his rules and there are women that need that kind of release...


I disagree. I don't like safewords, but then again, most people *need* them. (That remark about JC on the cross was truly twistedly funny). A Master should be far more observant, and if a sub has a safeword, (or in many cases isn't physically restrained) she can't enjoy it. If she's holding herself there, only by her will, then there is no "release". If you talk with subs, their biggest reward is *NOT* having to hold themselves in their restraints (they are securely tied so they can struggle), and for their cries to be ignored until their Master (and they) are properly satisfied and spent. It may seem odd to newbies, or game-players, and pseudo-lifestyle types, but safe words HINDER the ability of the sub to enter "subspace" since she can exit it at any time.

This is why Trust (and experience) is the biggest part of the process, and there is far more to being a "Master" than there is to being a Jedi Knight. You may have the inclination, but self-control and training/experience are important -- and hard to get. Master's don't tend to congregate or get along well.

A Master must be tuned into the "force" and most would not be found in "clubs" or at parties, or anywhere but in his own comfortable "castle" with is adoring submissive(s).

A "Master" doesn't have to prove himself to anyone, and most are "take me or leave me" individuals. There is no handbook, and Masters are born, and then suffer through the politically correct world until they hopefully find some like-minded female to be with.

Most people who are self-proclaimed "Masters" are simply "dominant", or sex-craved (as seen in most on-line chat rooms), not a Master. Most people are subs, and subs out number "Masters" by one or two orders of magnitudes.

On-line has turned the "lifestyle" into a comedy, and while "true" masters are hard to find, "true" submissives are even harder. Yet, it's far harder for a submissive to find a master, than a Master to find a submissive. This is why so many women end up in abusive, non-fulfilling relationships under the guise of an alternative or BDSM lifestyle.

As I said, BDSM "lifestyle" runs the whole range, and before anyone makes a decision, they should decide what it is they are looking for, willing to tolerate or "exchange" to get what they want, and how "public" they want to be about it. Then, avoid any groups, crowds, or events that are not within that comfort range. More people get hurt (emotionally, physically, in the "real" lives) by not following common sense. And, today, being "seen" in the wrong group can affect your personal life in ways it could not before -- digital photos, internet, and such have made it a bear trap.

BTW: I'm not talking through my non-existent hat. I ran several alternative, BDSM forums and groups on several systems, back in the dial-up/BBS days -- when the systems hired you to host/run groups. Some here may remember "The Bonding Place," which was my pet project.

Scott
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
well, I'm not the one who's single...
Posted: 9/21/2007 4:24:55 PM
>> How many prostitutes/gigolos can say "I have no trouble getting tricks".
>> And what exactly is that worth?

About as much as most relationships now adays. Seems most people base them on the prostitute/gigolo model as seen on TV.

Scott
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 724 (view)
 
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 9/20/2007 1:23:24 PM
>> Shallow guys will see your age first and foremost.
>> Non shallow guys will see your personality, loveability, and such first.

Not true.

A truly shallow person is going to see your "looks" first and base everything on that. They won't bother to read your age, or likes, or even want to get to know you. Beyond that, _AGE_ is a factor for a lot of people.

Age is *NOT* a superficial thing, it's a hard biologic fact. "looks" or color *is* superficial, and people make up their minds with just a look.

As I said in a previous note, not everyone is looking for the same thing. Age is a factor for starting families, for having lived through the same events, or for other reasons.

It has nothing to do with "shallow" or "non shallow."

A 50 year old woman is not about to start a family.
A 60 year old man, probably isn't about to start one either, but could, easier than a 50 year old woman could.

A woman looking for stability/security would often find an older man who has raised a family more attractive in that respect than a young one still trying to "make it" in the world, and not ready to settle down. _AGE_ is a factor in having LIVED, as well as starting to run out of time.

I just really hate the broad generalizations people make, male and female, about other people. Just because YOU feel that way, doesn't mean someone else doesn't feel differently. What's right for you may not be right for them.

There are far more things to get up set or twiked off about than someone looking for a younger woman, or an older man, or even a tall or short or particular race.

You can't *make* someone want you, or fall in love with you, and that's just life.

Some people want to have an active, athletic, and travel-filled life. Others, want to stay at home, and sit in their back yards, cook out, or have family over. Others want to sail, hike, or play golf. Everyone is different, and a "match" is going to be something that takes a lot into account -- INCLUDING AGE.

But it's *NOT* shallow. It's about what YOU need to be happy. And, that is not going to be the same thing *I* need, or the guy or girl to your left is going to need.

Scott
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 54 (view)
 
The Artistic Nude...
Posted: 9/20/2007 1:09:55 PM
Not to dig this up... the idea is that if you send a digital image to someone, email, website, camera, etc. The photo can be copied and pop up anywhere, any time. Most people don't think of that as "posing" and they may feel "secure" because they took some polaroids, which probably deteriorated already, but don't realize that those photos from the 70's *ARE* finding their way on-line, and people have been very unpleasantly surprised.

Guys want girls to send them nude photos -- it's all over the dating sites, women talk about it, etc. I only want to point out the _risks_ that people who read these threads may not be aware of.

Cell phones and PDA's get stolen.

Computers get stolen.

Email gets hacked (Gmail accounts, for instance, can store huge amounts of photos).

So, if you pose, or send photos, just *ASSUME* that the person you send them to is not going to be the only one who sees them, and realize that they may get out -- and if your job or "real life" wouldn't handle it ... DON'T DO IT! Even posing for an art class now, cameras are everywhere. In the 80's, you could be pretty sure that only the "art" was going to be the result. Cameras were not easy to hide. Now, someone "answering" a cell phone can snap a picture or two.

I have been working with models for over 3 decades, and have seen a lot of problems, even before digital. Lives have been ruined, families broken up, and more. Today, it's so much easier....

Art is beautiful, but people posing for art are still people, with other lives. They need to understand the risks today in this electronic age. "privacy" is becoming an alien concept.

Scott
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 264 (view)
 
Does This Seem More Of A Friend Site, Then A Dating Site 2 U...?
Posted: 9/19/2007 8:05:18 AM
>> How the heck does anyone on here (especially men) plan to meet someone
>> if they don't come out to the planned events?

From a man's point of view, when you contact someone, and they don't even reply, or the mail sits "read" and not even deleted, what's the point?

Not every contact is going to lead to dating/romance, but if you don't reply, and don't interact, then you aren't going to meet anyone. You talk about men not coming or interacting, that's because you are female. The men have the opposite problem.

So, maybe you should find someone (a guy) to plan a meeting/event, and you plan an event, and the two events should be next door to each other (or the same location) and maybe it would balance out by accident.

I'm on a number of sites, and send a lot of messages. I rarely get any replies, even "not interested" and 90% of what I send has nothing to do with meeting or linking up, it has to do with something interesting in their profile.

People are simply flat out rude, self-centered, and unless they are looking for something like sex, they aren't willing to even put up the effort.

I had this problem with dating services in the 90's. I met a few nice girls, we weren't matches, but most never replied to the contacts.

So it works both ways, and is probably simply human nature in the current time.
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
OldBoy is a work of Cinematic Art.........
Posted: 9/17/2007 8:21:33 AM
>> Existenz

Wow, I didn't think anyone else liked that movie, since I've never seen it on anyone's lists of favorites.

I found that to be one of the more interesting movies I stumbled across, somehow missing its original release. It was not quite like Videodrome, another odd movie especially for it's time, but played to that altered reality really well.

As for zombies... being in Pittsburgh I have a special place in my collection for them. There have been some really great movies released lately, some old, some new. Others are interesting because you can see that some of the newer movies drew heavily from them. RotLD and even RotLD II were great, breaking down some bounds in the genre, using humor and spoof, and pushing limits of what can/could be shown.

I've started getting into the asian horror/exploitation films. For some reason I keep going back to the 70's in my film interests. Like the Italian Vampire movies... :) By the time the 80's rolled around, things were starting to be redone, though there were still a lot of "new" things destined to become classics.

But Existenz ... it's funny, I was thinking about it this past weekend, and trying to dig it out from my movie collection. (I have 18 file boxes stuffed with DVD's I have no room to put out, and no time to enter into a log program like DVDProfiler).

Actually, House of the Dead II when it plays on Sci Fi has an incredibly funny scene. The female the zombie is in the holding room, and she looks down at her chest -- blurred out by the censors -- and screams.

Cool thread.
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 52 (view)
 
The Artistic Nude...
Posted: 9/17/2007 7:55:21 AM
>> I thought this was about posing nude for an artist, but it seems it's
>> become more a concern about digital access.

>> As an artist, I really appreciate the chance to draw a nude.
>> The only time I cared about the physical attributes of the model was in the 70's

I saw the title, and took a look. I've been doing the artistic nude -- photographically -- for decades. The one thing that stuck out in my mind, is how different the world is today, than "in the 70's" and I was there... and remember it :) Today, everyone has cell phone cameras, so they may sneak a picture or two to "finish" the work at home, but then send the photo to someone else, since "she was only a model" and before you know it, the photos are in your mail box "Do you know who she is? I hear she models on campus."

So, just a caution, that even art models are at risk for exploitation.

And, the point about Vanessa Hudgens... those photos were "just for her boyfriend." ....

There are a lot of people reading these threads who do not post, and they deserve the benefit of a different view of what "posing" can lead to in their lives. It's not for everyone.
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 48 (view)
 
The Artistic Nude...
Posted: 9/13/2007 1:02:53 PM
>> Honestly, I don't find the idea of someone unearthing a nude picture of me in
>> 200 or so years all that scary. But this thread isn't about sending guys naughty
>> pics, it's about posing for artistic nudes.

How about at thanksgiving? Or holiday dinner when the kids get a new computer, and "test" their new access?

Vanessa Hudgens' incident should make people think about what they do, and giving their kids picture photos, and digital cameras, and such.

'nuff said. Adults can do what they want.
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Smothering, personal time, and am I being unreasonable?
Posted: 9/13/2007 11:26:55 AM
Everyone requires alone time -- even the most needy clingy person.
As people get older, or have spent more time on their own, out of a relationship, the need for continual alone time increases, and is part of the normal process of living.

For some, "alone time" is closing the door to their den, or watching a movie or sports event by themselves.

For others, it's getting out into the woods, where they can't be seen or contacted.

For most, it's somewhere in between.

But, one truth holds true. If you have to worry about what your partner is doing when they are off on their own, or you are not with them (or vice versa on all counts), then there is something wrong with the trust, commitment, or basic relationship.

As pointed out in other messages, if it's like this for the OP now, what will it be after marriage, or moving in together? The reason most relationships fail, is that people make too many compromises going into them on things that matter to them. People pretty much won't change... and the older they get, the less likely it is (without some major event, happening, or such). Personality traits *especially* are set, and get firmer with age.

Relationships should be comfortable, enjoyable, fun, and something you want to be in. They shouldn't be something you are always trying to get out of, or avoid.

The world is screwed up, and on-line is a deviant reflection of the real world.
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Whats up Pittsburgh?
Posted: 8/30/2007 4:18:32 AM
We're working on a new publication for what's going on in the burgh, targeted at doing things, and getting out, not buying/shopping like so many others. It's too soon to post anything more, but we are looking at a pub date in under 2 months, so there will be some info soon. It's going to be linked to an interactive website, not games/etc but a way for people to comment/rate and share experiences about the venues and goings on.
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
POF Dates - When does it end and romance begins?
Posted: 8/30/2007 4:13:27 AM
>> The question is when does it end and romance begins?

I don't think there is a beginning or an end. It's more of a continuum.

There should always be romance, even in dating, otherwise it's just going through the motions. Romance isn't love, or even close. It's a feeling, a moment, a way of acting. It's a way of making each other feel good.

But, today, it seems people do not know how to date, or what dating is. If they go out with someone it has to be for the end result of sex or the start of an LTR. It can't just be for a "date" to pass some time un-alone.

I've had some talks recently with people my age, who are back into "dating" or seeking a new partner (older or younger), and they have the same problems, and observations.

But one thing is for certain. If you don't get out and meet a lot of people, you have limited yourself, or have even condemned yourself, to not finding that special person. The odds go up the more people you *MEET* ... not sleep with. The odds go down, the more you sleep around.
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 616 (view)
 
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 8/22/2007 10:45:08 AM


I believe it is a myth that a younger woman is any better suited than a woman of their own age range for the male 45 or older and they fall into a trap in following these myths. If the men were "smart" they would take into consideration that the younger women are still of child bearing years or have younger children. Whereas the older womans children have flown the nest.. she no longer has the harmonal ups and downs and has pretty much accepted who she is and what she offers to a relationship.


It depends on if the male 45 or older is wanting a family....

Women seem to have 2 kids by age 18 today, 4 by age 24 (hey, just look the profiles...) They are over and done by the time they are 40. Men, are just coming into feeling they can settle down. Job is stable -- or they've retired. They have the time to devote to a family.

So, the age mis-match is more today than before.

But, the younger girls are too young, and well, I won't repeat from other threads. But women can safely have children into their late 30's, and (some older) so there is also hope for women who have started a career, or have been in a bad marriage -- or who have waited longer than the rest -- to have a family, and to have a stable, home-oriented guy.

FWIW: there are a lot of guys really looking to settle down. They just aren't on-line, because of all the crap women keep saying about the guys. They get discouraged, and find most of the women's profiles *trashy* .... sorry. After awhile, you just give up. I'm seeking a mate, soul mate, and more. But, I'm also looking for models, friends, and collaborators on art projects, so I have more reason to stay on-line, than just "dating." If it was just that, I'd have given up too. As a 40-something, I can say most guys my age trying to settle down don't want girls bragging about their bar exploits, their sexual exploits, posting nude photos on sex classifieds, and showing drunken pictures slobbering over guys (or girls) on myspace, face book, etc.

A lot of us, also had a bad first marriage (a lot of my friends). Their wives just walked out on them in their late 20's early 30's. No reason. They took a lot of time off to build their career, avoid women, have fun, and now, they are looking again. Most didn't carouse with women -- they avoided them. So, the profiles that are nasty about men in their 40's and younger women are just one more reason they are not looking on-line.

Maybe, go after the women who post such negative things about men, and there will be more good men on-line. Unlike woody allen, most men/people don't want to be members of clubs that don' t want them, or insult them, or make them feel bad for who they are. Trash those who trash good people, and show that they are not all who are on line.

Oh, and if someone writes you, and asks a question, or comments on your profile. Don't ignore them. Don't be rude. Don't assume they are "interested" and if you reply you are stoking the fires. But, *DO* remember that if you don't reply, and the next person doesn't reply, they will stop writing... and *YOU* may never get contacted because they gave up long before they came to you.

Scott
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 615 (view)
 
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 8/22/2007 10:33:53 AM
>> Believe it that a relationship cannot be based on sex alone
>> it Will not work, it may be great for awhile but will soon get old.

Even *good* sex.... you have to have something to talk about the rest of the time, and if all you want is sex... then what is keeping you/them down on the farm, as it were?

If only kids today would realize that you have to get to know someone first, not bed hop. And, by kids, I mean 14-25's maybe even a little older (it gets older, the older I get ) :)

Scott
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Beware the date sites that advertise heavily like E harmony
Posted: 8/21/2007 9:10:52 PM
EH: first place I went for the "free" check your matches ad. What a scam. The "religious" idea of matching posted here makes sense. Wouldn't pay money on that site. their matches are off the mark, and no real "test" to make sure you get what you pay for.

SinglesNet: Cheap. But you get what you pay for. No real searching.

POF: Well, we're here, right?

Match.com: Not bad, expensive, but not overly so, with a 6-month guarantee. Met some nice people, no matches, and a huge amount of people never respond, or ever check back. Their "matching" system is a joke... but at least their search is full featured. Lot's of spam profiles, it seems.

Chemistry.com: Seems to be a way for match.com to make more money on something. Why would I want to join another service, *FROM* a service I just joined? What a scam. Wouldn't renew on match.com *because* of chemistry.com -- obviously they are not putting time or faith into their own service by harping the other one.

Alt* well.... 'nuff said.

SugarDaddyForMe : If you haven't checked it out, go for a laugh ... or a cry. Or to see someone you know. Sad.

Fling: possibly the most grubby of them all. recurrent memberships, *nothing* for free -- no reading email, no nothing. But *LOADS* of nude photos... check it out. Maybe someone you know... really. Found people I knew. :) Can't believe it... "Mommy, is that you??? What's group sex?"

there are a few others... can't remember them. Oh...

Perfectmatch: nothing there, I signed up, that's all, and WARNING: they send your ID and PW in each spam-mail CLEAR TEXT!! Don't use any password there you use anywhere else! Any site you have to pay to see what's going on is probably a scam.

If a site can't show you really what is there, and give you access toreally see if there are matches for you in your area, and if you would want to join and contact people, then it's probably a scam. You won't match in 7 or 10 or even 30 days. But, if you are hopeful, you'll join to get full access. If you pay first.. you are stuck.

Scott
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 67 (view)
 
Are women ALL INSANE nowadays????
Posted: 8/21/2007 5:12:02 PM
You have proved my point, and continue to do so. Look at the words you use "poison"... simply paranoid.

But, I just got an invite to a pig roast (?) maybe we can debate this in person at that time.

When my kids were young, I took them everywhere when I went out. Didn't matter. Usually 1 at a time when really little. They were/are a part of my life. I didn't leave them behind, or need to get away from them.

What could be safer, faster, and more revealing than a quick trip to McD's. The kids wouldn't even notice anything, and if there was chemistry, then it makes sense to plan something later on. It's a very public place, and not threatening. People have kids there all the time, and there are kids everywhere, and parents too, so the argument about all that cr*p happening is just that. crap. One more excuse for lies, double lives, hidden agendas and other untruths that lead to eroding a relationship. If you work, and have kids, and have to meet people or pass off stuff, McD's is a great place to do it.

If you went to a group picnic with your kids, and met someone there, you wouldn't talk to them, or hang out with them because the kids would get somehow messed up? I'm rolling on the floor. Same idea. You want to leave your kids behind, fine... but don't make up excuses for it. If you don't feel you can bring your kids, it's probably not a good idea in the first place -- with or without them.

Heck, if my kids were school age, and a potential date didn't want to meet at McD's or CEC's... I'd have issues with *that*. I don't leave my kids behind to get laid, which is what seems to be going on eg: can't "get lucky" with the kids around. Getting lucky would be finding a woman who fit in, loved the kids, and wanted to do it again, for longer. Different standards I guess. Once you are together, the kids are going to be there... deal with it from the start.

BTW: I've read posts and profiles for the past 2 months on a lot of systems before posting here, so I've got a lot of reading and thinking about this (relationships/dating) behind me. A lot of what I'm saying now, is what I didn't say at those times, and might not be exactly to something posted in this thread.

Scott
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Are women ALL INSANE nowadays????
Posted: 8/21/2007 2:19:38 PM
>> think is so funny when the fart.or burp from beer. foot ball i never
>> figue that one out for the life of me.

Ever been around a group of teenage girls????

>> can some one tell me what normal is?

That's a loaded question. After being on-line for almost 23 years, from about 1983, when I got my first IBM PC/xt at a blazing 4.77 megahertz ..... and a 1200 baud modem..... "normal" isn't on-line. People are not virtual or computer or video personnas. On-line, they are not who they really are (just look at the thread on lying about age/weight/etc) Multiply that by everything else...

You can find _friends_ on-line, because it cuts through the bullshit, and gets to the facts -- love bad movies, peewee herman, sushi, d&d, etc.... you can find common grounds. But, love, relationships, etc have to be _IN_PERSON_ because we are real, physical people and most of what makes us attracted to others is sight, sound, smell, not pixels on a screen. It takes more for people to forge an attraction, and then a relationship, than simple emails. Real life is not the same as on-line -- ever.

On-line has always been a business to me. My "job" has involved a lot of hours on-line, running forums, running websites, running BBS's, etc. It wasn't really how I spent my free time. That was spent in the real world, with real people, going out, seeing the sun, whatever - getting AWAY from the on-line. So, I always had the best of both. Being on-line and being off-line.

But, remember, while there are things that make good relationships, and things that are true about what it takes to find real love __statistically__ at least, there are always exceptions, and *EVERY* relationship is different. What you are looking for is not what someone else is looking for -- and the person your best friend may find to fill up their life, will not do the same for you (even if you think they might). The "spark", "chemistry", "whatever" is not there.....

I've made a lot of friends on-line, but "loves" have all be off-line. I have had one on-line relationship that went into more than a friendship, maybe what the kids today call friends with benefits, but it didn't blossom beyond that. What we had was a friendship based on common interests, conversation, etc. Not a love interest, or in-love feeling. We thought it might, but it wasn't. After almost 20 years, we are still friends. And good ones. fortunately the trial of "benefits" didn't ruin that.

How many of you met "interesting" people on-line, you thought would work, but when you met, there was *NOTHING* (or worse!!). How many of them did you stop talking to after meeting?

Normal....??
It's what works for you.

Scott
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 64 (view)
 
Are women ALL INSANE nowadays????
Posted: 8/21/2007 2:01:30 PM
ponygirl ... oh, forgot, the (tm) ... you proved my point. Thank you :)

And the examples you gave, just proved how crazy women *really* are... beating and bruising, and such. Wow. You really hate men, don't you.

Scott
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 77 (view)
 
What exactly are guys looking for?
Posted: 8/21/2007 12:06:08 PM
FWIW: Just got a reply from the person wanting "sewn oats" ... and defending it.

Now I am *really* depressed with the state of dating/women/etc. If they really want a man who has "sewn his oats" ....

FWIW2: I would be fine with a woman looking for a man who has "sown his oats."

So women... one thing guys are looking for is non-illiteracy. Someone who has overcome Bush and the "every child left behind" law.
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
What makes a great companionship?
Posted: 8/21/2007 11:54:33 AM
Companionship in an LTR or just for friends?

What makes good friends, and good nights out is somewhat different than what is needed in an LTR. One is a non-sexual one-night stand. The other, is a potential serious relationship.

What I find most discouraging, is that most people don't know how to date any more, and it makes for a lot of lonely, screwed up, and screwed over people ..... Especially the kids. At least people my age had *some* past experience with what "dates" were/are.

Scott
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Whats up Pittsburgh?
Posted: 8/21/2007 11:51:41 AM
>> .c'mon Pittsburgh, LETS MAKE SOME NOISE!

This *is* pittsburgh, after all :(
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 76 (view)
 
What exactly are guys looking for?
Posted: 8/21/2007 11:50:02 AM
>> What exactly are guys looking for?

That's actually the problem, not the question seeking the answer.

That implies that all guys are the same, and that they view all women/girls the same. That couldn't be further from the truth.

Relationships are far more two people. They are a subtle, random mix of attractions on a physical, chemical, emotional and compatibility level. What makes two people click is _random_ and may not happen twice.

What matters is what YOU are looking for, state it clearly, and POLITELY ... don't use the emotional words especially to the negative. If it sounds like a cookie cutter, corny or lame profile, that's what will respond -- or not.

Also, good photos, that don't lie, and really show you how you are. Don't be hugging guys, don't be drunk in a bar, don't be half naked... all that might seem attractive, but it's not. Those sort of pictures get exactly what they are advertising. If you want a gentleman, be a lady. That other stuff shows real class -- all third or lower.

Stating what you want in a guy -- no games, honesty, no cheating, etc.... well... everyone wants that, by saying it -- how you say it -- can make or break the first impression. No guy wants to be lumped in with all the "playas" ... and older men are *not* all "creeps" if they are looking for a younger woman -- that's been a norm in society for as long as there has been society. *SAYING* those things is such a negative, even a potential perfect match would be scared away. It's not cute, it's not funny, it's not endearing to say "if you are as old as my dad, don't bother." ... First of all, how old *is* your dad? Just say, "I'm looking for someone within 5 or 6 years of my own age for a strong relationship. "

An older man *didn't* waste his life running around, chasing women, and sowing (not sewing) oats and then suddenly want a family. Maybe he already raised one. Or maybe he got lost in his job. A 50 year old man can't find a woman his age to start a family, someone in their late 20's-30's is *logical*, and not "creepy" or "sick." To actually say those things is rude, insulting, and totally presumptuous on your part (AND YES! That has been in more than one profile!).

All there is on-line is what you write, and the "tone of voice" is TOTALLY dependent on how the person reads it -- so make it able to be read only ONE way...

If you smoke -- be honest.
If you are fat -- be honest -- " few extra pounds" is not 50 pounds overweight at 5'2"
If you don't want kids (or do) be honest -- this will sink you faster than anything.
If you do drugs/etc -- well... don't be surprised when it ends.
If you are religious -- state it! It simply won't work if you try to push someone into going to church, and they haven't been in 30 years. And, vice versa. Don' think you'll change someone into not going if they've been going for years, or are a paster.
Don't pretend to be "kinky" or "alt" if you aren't. Conversely, don't try to pretend you aren't if you are. You don't have to advertise it, but don't hide it and/or lie.

Simple things. HONESTY .... with your self .... can go a long way.

Scott
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Are women ALL INSANE nowadays????
Posted: 8/21/2007 11:27:20 AM
>>> Are women ALL INSANE nowadays????

In short, yes.

And, it's been awhile. In my early 20's, I first noticed it. After being out of it for awhile, and coming back, I can say it's worse.

Some women's profiles are so flat out nasty, I don't know why any decent man would reply. In fact, it's probably *why* they are so nasty -- only the game-players, superficial, and super-egos do apply, and it just cycles and spirals downwards.

A few profiles on some systems have been so nasty, I had to respond just because I was so flat out insulted. One I just responded to on another system was so nasty, I feel like reporting it. It's one thing to state your wants/likes... it's another be insulting, rude, and offensive about it.

As for a woman with kids --- *YES* the kids *are* part of the relationship. I have seen things like "I'm not looking for a dad for my kids, they have one." ... then, what *are* you looking for? You can't separate out the kids from the relationship, especially if they are in the house. Maybe, the woman needs to wait for the kids to grow up, get out of the house, enter her 40's and *THEN* find out just how nasty their profiles were -- KARMA -- it can be a **** ;)

In relationships -- don't settle. If you see this sort of problem, then RUN ... don't walk. There's a reason why she's divorced with kids....

I've dated women with kids. My last relationship was like that. And special needs (foster/adoptive) to boot. BOTH parents have to provide a unified front. And that goes for ALL ADULTS in the house -- biologic and foster/adoptive/step parents, or the kids play one off against the other. And, it becomes a nightmare.

Obviously this is a peeve of mine ... :)

Also, a woman who has kids, and suggests the first meeting be in a bar, for drinks...

I usually suggest McD's or Chuck E Cheeses. If the kids are older, maybe the park or Carnegie. If they can't show me their kids, and want to get drunk, I already see a problem. What's safer than a McD's or CEC ?

Anyway... it's a rainy day, and seems to be one of the more negative ones :(

Scott
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Art vs. Craft
Posted: 8/16/2007 7:56:25 AM
sorry... the post I was referring to was the last on on the first page.

As a photographer I hit the art vs craft all the time. I'm a skilled craftsman in the darkroom, and with my tools. But I have an artistic eye, and use my craft to capture my art :)

Confused? ;)

Scott
aka Bodyartist
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Art vs. Craft
Posted: 8/16/2007 7:53:59 AM
Previous post is a good one :)

Crafts are often repeatable, reproducible, and lack the originality or ability to intellectually&emotionally "engage" the viewer.

Sometimes, the same piece can be both artistic in it's originality, but a craft, due to it's physical components.

Don't fret it :)

Artist or craftsman... Craftsmen usually make more money ;) and are often valued as much or more for their "skill."

Art has to be "appreciated" ... crafts are pretty much accepted already :)

Scott
aka Bodyartist
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Nude Digital Photography
Posted: 8/16/2007 7:36:57 AM
>> One word -- voyerism

No, one word: STUPIDITY.

Boss, job, future spouse, kids, family, etc. Sorry. STUPID.

Scott
aka Bodyartist
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Nude/Suggestive Photos, what is your opinion on taking them? Help
Posted: 8/16/2007 7:34:36 AM


I have an ex, who for some reason, is really pressuring me to take pics for him. He lives several miles away, states actually, and we broke up b/c of the long distance thing, not on bad terms. Somehow, it still kinda gets to me that hes an ex, asking for this, not like i am currently dating him. As well as the fact that he's kinda seeing someone now romantically. He says he would just like something to remember me by, that hes starting to forget the small little details and it would mean a lot cause we had an important strong intimate and meaningful relationship once. I dont know though.

Is this a load of crap hes feeding me? Is this wierd or unusual, guys and girls opinions? Would you consider doing it if you were in my place?

I have considered tasteful pics, maybe just suggestive not all nude, not necessarily for him, but im still a bit hisitant, dont want it to jump back at me and bite me hard.

If i were to decide to do this, how would i do it, and take them myself, without having someone else develop, i understand digital, but id want someone to take it, and whats a good way to aproach someone about that. "hey wanna take some nudie pics of me?"

Advise please, this isnt my type of thing, and would be a big step, what do we think?


If you aren't comfortable with everyone in the world seeing the photos, now, in 20 years, or whenever, don't do it. That "everyone" means your parents, your kids, your eventual husband/so/whatever, etc.

It's not myth, or paranoia.

Even in the special edition of Caddyshack, the actress who bared a little never imagined there'd be home video (stop action/pause/slowmo), screen captures, or the Internet. She figured it would be a flash on the screen, and gone. Times change. *EVERYTHING* is always out there.

I'm a photographer of nudes (Nude photographer always seemed wrong) and I've been doing it for a long time. On-line, longer than almost anyone else -- anyone else would have been doing it as long as me. I ran BBS's and on-line systems, and have websites. Unlike other sites, we work mostly with people we know, and friends of friends, etc. So we never try to hurt people. But, over the years, we've seen models who got too "open" get really, really hurt posing for other groups, going for the money, etc.

Those images they posed for for that BBS 20 years ago, are now floating around the Internet, forever. Granted, the quality is not good (unless the photographer rescanned them) but they are still there. They *never* imagined that those images would show up on a webpage, anywhere.....

So, it might be nice to use your webcam, or cell phone... but don't.

It's for real people, in *real* relationships -- eg not temporary passing fads -- and for porn. Because, even if you are a sweet girl, you photos *will* most likely end up on a porn site if you are not a good, close friend of the person you sent them too -- and may end up there anyway if the get pissed at you, or their computer/phone is hacked.

It's a brave new world.

Scott
aka Bodyartist
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 21 (view)
 
is it ok so show nudes pics to people online??
Posted: 8/16/2007 7:27:17 AM

REMEMBER THIS!!! When you send anyone your nude photos, they now have possession of that photo. And can do what they want with it. Even posting it on another site with your contact information. It doesn't matter if it's someone you think you can trust and have talked to awhile. Anything can happen, and some people do some pretty horrible things for revenge when things go sour. I speak from experience. I learned my lesson a few years ago, when a guy i trusted went psycho six months after we'd stopped talking and created an entire website dedicated to the women who'd pissed him off. It took me a bit of time, but after talking to a few we realized who we had in common. We all had similar stories that this guy seemed nice, but then got weirder as we talked to him, and finally we cut off contact. I had strange men contacting me left and right. I had to threaten legal action, show the site his threatening emails and IMs that he himself was sending me basically trying to blackmail me.....but the site came down. A year later, guess what? He did it again. Same deal. Got the site down, but I had to change all my contact info, emails, IM names, because I just did not want to deal with his crap again. It's been three years now but i still wonder sometime if there are old photos of me floating around out there.

So for me nudes are a big huge NO NO....and I dont' want to see guys nude photos either. I used to have guys sending me nudes all the time, some unsolicited. I would tell them, "is this supposed to impress me" In fact, I got a lot of the same photo from different guys, claiming this huge member was theirs. Men are the more visual creatures. I believe women are visual to a point, but then we look for something deeper than that. For me personally, seen one penis seen them all. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I date men, not their appendages.


It just needed saying again :)

Anything, ANYTHING you send by computer, cell phone, or even camera card (you let him look at your photos in his computer?? He copied them while viewing... ?)... is OUT THERE forever. Never send someone a photo you wouldn't mind seeing on the evening news, showing up on your kids computer (20 years from now) or being passed around at thanksgiving dinner.... Think.

Scott
aka bodyartist
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 39 (view)
 
The Artistic Nude...
Posted: 8/16/2007 7:23:34 AM
>> As long as the artist was a real artist and not some perv looking for a cheap thrill

How can you tell? Today assume *any* picture you send to someone, on your phone, computer, or camera, is going to end up on the internet. (Giving kids photo cell phones is... well.. another issue). Letting someone take nude photos of you ... how do you know what they were photographing? Maybe all they took was your genitals. The way camera cards work, it's easy to hide those, and only show the "good" photos. You sign (or not, how can you *stop* someone from posting photos they took?) and never saw all those photos you would never have allowed....

And, posing for an "artist" ... ?? How do you know his studio isn't wired with video, and/or still photos? It's happened, and it's not "urban myth" .

I've been photographing, and posting on-line, photos of naked women for a long, long time. My first time was about 1985 ... I tied for the first on-line photo show, but took the back seat because it was a nude. It was only in "green" .. for those who remember those days.

I've worked with kids, adults, and people of all ages.

Today, there is more "freedom" (and foolishness) in posting nude photos.

I don't think spread legs should ever be posted, and 99% of what I've seen over the decades on "dating" sites is flat out PORNOGRAPHY... and yet, the "nice" girls do it for whatever reasons. Remember, your kids *will* see the photos. You send a guy a nude as a joke, and he sends it to 1000 friends.

The only good reason to send nude photos is if you are a nude model, if it's your job, hobby, extra income, etc. If you've thought it through, and if you've set limits on what you show/do (as MODEL, not trusting your photographer to protect you).

You should never post photos just to try to interest someone. I don't understand how so many males (I hate to say "guys" or even acknowledge them as human) can think, make such base comments, or imagine that just because a girl is nude, she wants to bump and grind with *YOU* (or anyone else). In the almost 3 decades I've been on-line (I started when I was in middle school, actually, with remote paper-tape terminals), that attitude -- locker room/drunk-barroom talk has gotten out of hand.

But, I digress. That's a whole other issue on "dating" and "relationships"

But, posting nude photos to get a date (like piercing your tongue) sends ONE MESSAGE, and ONE MESSAGE ONLY. (no matter what you think). I WANT SEX, and I'M EASY. Hump me then Dump me, I'm game.

You can argue it... but you'd be wrong :)

And, before trying to argue it, carefully read what I read... and don't make ASS-U-ME-tions (assumptions).

But remember, you send *ANYONE* a photo -- nude or other wise -- in this digital age IT'S OUT THERE FOREVER... that means 200 years from now, barring some earth-blanketing EMP ... it will STILL be out there, some where, on disk,or other storage.

Scott
aka Bodyartist

BTW: As an art/nude photographer for about 30 years, most of that time on-line in some respect, I'm not "new" or some part of the "internet age" (I came from ARPA) and have actual experience and perspective, not imaginings and fantasies-- eg: I'm not talking through my hat.
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Exposing yourself!
Posted: 8/16/2007 7:06:48 AM
It's a valid concern, and the younger generation has none -- eg: facebook -- and to a large degree all those surveys people post in bulletins on MySpace. I know more about some people I never met, than friends I've know for 30 years!

Be careful what you post public, because there are people who collect that information, file it, index it, and cross reference, trying to piece together things from different sites. I've managed to find some "friends" on alt-sites because they used photos I recognized from their MySpace profiles! DON'T DO THAT :)

Only post you want EVERYONE IN THE WORLD to know about you, and assume that EVERYTHING you EVER post is in one file, and is printed in a nice large newspaper, that every/any one can read at any time.

You'll be just fine :)

Scott
aka Bodyartist
 bodyartist
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 528 (view)
 
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 8/16/2007 6:59:46 AM
>> Should women in my st/age of life face "reality" and accept that our
>> chronological age matters more to most men our own age than our
>> physical fitness and all of the other things that we feel we have to
>> offer Mr. Right?

There is so much more to "dating" and on-line seems to always cut-to-the-chase, and unmask often the basest side.

But, the reality of chronological age is one that can't be ignored. By the time a woman is 40, her _realistic_ childbearing days are over, so if a man is looking for a family, and wants children, it doesn't matter how attractive, fit, or stunning you are... at 50, you are not really going to have a child.

I don't have a photo on this system, or even a full profile; I do on one or two others. I get inquiries from women 40-60 all the time, but it's not what I'm looking for. I state that, very, very clearly, yet, I guess, they feel like you, that they have "so much to offer." They might, and some do. And, I wish I had my own family years ago so I could take advantage of the "freedom" life can give at this age, without diapers, teenagers, and such.

But, the reality is, I am looking for what I'm looking for -- a family, of my own, and a woman in her 50's and 60's simply *can't* do that.

Just wanted to say that, I'm sure on some of the 45 pages, or whatever, someone else has said it.

Not every man looking for a younger woman is out for play, fantasy, or cheating on his wife. Some, are just starting (or starting over) and wish Nature would allow an older woman the gifts she gives a younger one -- but she doesn't. So, we have to accept a woman from a generation younger, or at least 10 years younger, and trying to find one that is "older" in her spirit is not as easy.

In a way, it's sort of like natures law of compensation (the early bird catches the worm, the early worm gets caught). When you were younger, you probably blew off that older man, in his 40's, legitimately seeking an LTR, and now, you are being blown off. Nature has a way of doing that :)

Scott
aka Bodyartist
 
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