Are Women 30+ with grown kids willing to date a Man 40+ with young kids? chat & forums.

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Thread: Are Women 30+ with grown kids willing to date a Man 40+ with young kids?

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 41 (view)

Are Women 30+ with grown kids willing to date a Man 40+ with young kids? Posted: 1/8/2008 7:19:47 PM
Whatever, smilinglaughing. Not wanting to raise someone else's small kids after you've raised your own does not make you a "lesser" woman, OR man. There are more men who won't date women because they have kids than vice versa. Not wanting to start all over at the beginning, when your life is finally becoming your own (something you just admitted that you know nothing about) does not make you "bad." Are all these men who want women with no kids "bad" men? Because the only way they can be "good," in your estimation, is if they are willing to raise another mans kids?

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 40 (view)

Please give me your take on this.. Am I wrong for ending it? Posted: 1/8/2008 7:07:20 PM
I find it hysterical that he tried to turn the whole thing around and make it all your fault! I hope he's reading this thread and knows there are people laughing at him.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

What Is The Point of Lying About This? Posted: 1/7/2008 3:00:23 PM
Cocytus, is ANYthing posted about here a bigger issue than curing cancer? That's what these forums are actually for, for talking about the things that are less important than curing cancer.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

What Is The Point of Lying About This? Posted: 1/7/2008 2:58:25 PM
You are probably right, Badkitty! He might be missing out doing what he's doing, because any caucasian woman who is looking for someone of his race isn't going to put "caucasian" in, they are going to put in HIS race, and he won't show up under his own race! I hadn't thought of it in terms of him shooting himself in the foot.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

What Is The Point of Lying About This? Posted: 1/7/2008 2:56:31 PM
No, if he puts his correct race in, POF will still send him matches based on his PREFERENCES. When I do a search, although I am caucasian, I can put "Asian" in my searches, and still find every Asian man in my area that's on the site. I don't have to pretend to be Asian to find Asian men. I totally understand being attracted to another race, but I wish this site had a feature that would let you look for "who is looking for me?" or something. I've seen that in one or two places. Then if I wanted an Asian man, I could pull up Asian men looking for Caucasian women. Then I'd know I was looking for someone who would be interested in talking to me.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 63 (view)

Nightclubs for Single Mothers Posted: 1/7/2008 2:46:20 PM
I don't think anyone is offended, more like "relieved."

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 85 (view)

do you feel like me about needing an affair Posted: 1/7/2008 2:40:03 PM
mewogrrr83, when it comes to fidelity in a marriage, there IS no gray area. The vows you take ARE "black and white." If you can't live within those vows, there's a solution. It's called "getting out." I can promise you I spent many years in an unhappy marriage, and never did I want to cheat. I never even thought about being with someone else until after the marriage was over. ' It had nothing to do with feeling "faithful" to my husband at the time, it was a matter of being faithful to the promises I made, and doing the right thing because it was the right thing to do. I think it's sad that nowdays no one seems to care about doing the right thing, just for the sake of doing the right thing. Your character is determined by what you do when no one is looking.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 32 (view)

Are Women 30+ with grown kids willing to date a Man 40+ with young kids? Posted: 1/6/2008 7:53:30 PM
Smilinglaughing, it's not quite as "simple" as that. There are plenty of "good" women who have spent literally half their lives raising their own children and now want some time for themselves, to do what they've never gotten to do because they were raising their children. Many of those "good" women who did a great job raising their own kids don't want to start all over again, just when they have finally gotten to the place in their lives when they don't have to plan everything around the kids, practically breathe every breath they take for their kids. I wouldn't let it stop ME from going out with someone, but if I had two perfect guys to choose from, and one had grown kids and one had little ones, I'd probably go with the one with the grown kids. I would like to actually be able to do the things I've always wanted to do, and my kids being older makes that possible. If feeling like "I've done my time" and now "it's my turn" makes me self centered and egocentric, then so be it. Unless you have spent HALF YOUR LIFE as the PRIMARY caregiver of your kids, (instead of having your weekends to play golf, fish, hunt, whatever it is you do,) you have no clue what you are talking about.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 31 (view)

Are Women 30+ with grown kids willing to date a Man 40+ with young kids? Posted: 1/6/2008 7:44:55 PM
My kids are getting older, but by no means "out of the house" yet. But yes, I'd date someone with small children. I'd rather date someone who has small children than someone with NO children who WANTS children. I don't mind having small kids around, I love them. But I do NOT want to spawn anymore of my own! LOL!

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 79 (view)

do you feel like me about needing an affair Posted: 1/6/2008 7:32:47 PM
well i am sorry but i know there are women who feel the same way as i do. Yes, there are, and I have a feeling you are married to one of them.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

Using a forum to drop a hint on your profile. Posted: 1/6/2008 7:28:42 PM
I think it would be silly...for starters how would you know for sure they were reading everything you posted? And why not just tell them what you want them to know?

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Nightclubs for Single Mothers Posted: 1/6/2008 7:14:29 PM
Oh, and guess what? I have three kids and not a single stretch mark. However, you don't have to have had a child to have them, I know two people who have stretch marks and no kids. You have some serious misconceptions you need to get cleared up. What is "our own type?" You want to segregate women with children like lepers or something? I think there should be a separate night club for people like YOU, so women who aren't looking for a superficial jerk can avoid your type.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Nightclubs for Single Mothers Posted: 1/6/2008 7:11:53 PM
I wouldn't go around extinguishing women, whether they are moms or not...that can get you into all kinds of trouble!

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

What Is The Point of Lying About This? Posted: 1/6/2008 7:07:40 PM
A great tan? I don't think I mentioned what race the guy was. But thanks for playing.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

What Is The Point of Lying About This? Posted: 1/6/2008 7:05:39 PM
"We" and "our" refers to women. I'm not lying about the reason I'm here, but when I log into POF, I still go to an "inbox," which may or may not have an email from someone from the forums. That doesn't mean I don't browse from time to time, to see if there's ever anyone new in my area that might spark my interest. (there never is.) For that matter, though you can access my profile from the forums, it's hidden from the searches. I had a dating profile here for two years, and I still know a lot of people on POF. Including people I emailed with when I used the site for dating. "according to my name," I'm here for the forums. And that's pretty much what I do with this name, not that I need to defend myself to you. Now, did you have anything to actually add to the discussion?

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

What Is The Point of Lying About This? Posted: 1/6/2008 6:54:22 PM
I know what you mean, unknownlove, because I was one of those who had a profile with honest intentions before. I got a few too many of those with dishonest intentions, and just one day didn't have the heart for it anymore. I didn't want to leave the forums, so I'm here with this new profile and closed the old one. It's too bad the few people with honest intentions can't ever seem to find each other! They are usually hundreds if not thousands of miles apart.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

What Is The Point of Lying About This? Posted: 1/6/2008 6:42:33 PM
You are so right, St Charles, all profiles should be taken with a grain of salt till you find out otherwise. Mine included, as I've said before, when I had a dating profile. You can't tell what anyone is like by their profile. "don't believe what i write, find out for yourself," I think is what I said. Most profiles are full of nothing but a bunch of hooey, but I just don't see lying in such a way that anyone with eyes can SEE you are lying, right from the get-go...I don't see where anyone thinks they'll get by doing that.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 39 (view)

What does he really mean by that? Posted: 1/6/2008 6:33:39 PM
nocalsingledad, what cartoon are you living in???

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

What Is The Point of Lying About This? Posted: 1/6/2008 6:29:41 PM
Can the 4 people who think this thread is redundant show me the other one(s) like it? I did a search for "race," and there's not ONE thread having anything to do with LYING about ones race.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

What Is The Point of Lying About This? Posted: 1/6/2008 6:24:09 PM
It's the same thing...what's the point of lying about either? Once again, did those women think you wouldn't notice what they lied about? And just because a fictitional tv character says "everybody lies," does it make it ok? But I'm not even talking about the "right and wrong" of it here...I'm asking, what's the point in doing that? A woman looking for someone of her own race isn't going to magically change her mind just because his profile says it's the same as hers.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

What Is The Point of Lying About This? Posted: 1/6/2008 6:07:03 PM
I have recently run across several profiles of men who blatantly lie about their RACE in their profiles, in order, obviously, to show up in the of searches of women of that race, who are likely searching within their own race. I just read on POF, with my mouth hanging open, the profile of a man who is clearly NOT caucasian, but has "caucasian" in his profile, and the first line of his profile is something to the effect of "if you are African American, do not contact me! I just want to meet a nice caucasian girl!" Do they think we aren't going to notice that they aren't whatever race they are claiming to be? Do they think that once we get a load of their fine selves, all our preferences will just go out the window and we won't be able to resist them? And do they really and truly think we want to start a relationship with someone who resorts to trickery and underhandedness just to show up in our searches? If they'd do that, what else are they capable of?

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

When does honesty bite? Posted: 1/4/2008 8:10:01 PM
Yet another reason why there's no sense in giving out all the deep dark details of your past. I mean, you can tell the number of your partners, etc...just general information, but I think it's really stupid to give out actual details of actual instances. It gives the other partner a "visual," a mental image to deal with. I just think he should have kept his mouth shut about it.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 44 (view)

If he's into you...is this true? Posted: 1/4/2008 7:25:16 PM
Good answer, SingleGuy. All that stuff is nice, but it really means nothing until it's passed the test of time. Most guys (women too, for that matter) behave that way at first, no matter what their real intentions are.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 122 (view)

why can't some girls just say no? Posted: 1/2/2008 9:28:44 PM
Ave, you are one of those guys who still believes that "No really means yes," aren't you? You are a fine one to talk to anyone about manners, because there is NOTHING ruder than refusing to take "NO" for an answer. All you are doing is making a lot of women uncomfortable. You can justify it as "just fine" because it's worked a couple of times for you, (again, with women who were only playing hard to get in the first place), but thoses couple of times don't justify all the OTHER women you have PESTERED in the process. Once the women you are contacting read this thread (and they will, because it's showing up in your profile) you'll probably start getting blocked after your FIRST attempt to contact them.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

Should I tell her she is dating a player? Posted: 1/2/2008 7:41:32 AM
I'm curious what your relationship is to the woman he's going after. What would you gain/lose by giving him out for someone you barely know. I was wondering if I was the only one who picked up on that, glad to see I wasn't. Why would you tell someone who you hardly know, and who has no major investment in this guy, when there's an actual girlfriend who does have an apparent investment and is being cheated on by this guy? If anyone needs to be told, it's her. If anyone should be told at all, she should have been "warned" when SHE first started dating him. So now we are suddenly all fired up to tell this new woman that his friend is a player and should be avoided at all costs? I'm interested to hear what motive there could be for that.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

Should I tell her she is dating a player? Posted: 1/2/2008 7:33:53 AM
So you are wondering if you should tell this new woman, but not his girlfriend? Or is it the girlfriend you want to tell? If you want to tell the new woman, but not the girlfriend, I'd be wondering what your motives are for that.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 121 (view)

why can't some girls just say no? Posted: 1/2/2008 7:14:08 AM
The answer is NO. Maybe, just maybe, you can read that. Great point! Now YOU take your own advice by reading "just that" (NO) when you get that as a reply when hitting on a woman! I'm so glad you've learned something here!

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 62 (view)

Will 44DD effect a girls ability to work Posted: 1/2/2008 6:37:31 AM
Skye_Bee...are you kidding me? Are they like "POF Hookers" or something? I wonder if the site even allows that sort of thing.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 43 (view)

racial restrictions Posted: 1/2/2008 6:28:23 AM
It wouldn't happen, CG789. I don't pick up men in bars, and I've pretty much known the age, and other information, of everyone I'd even consider, before he even gets my number.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

racial restrictions Posted: 1/2/2008 6:25:40 AM
Saying that someone 7 years younger is too young FOR ME is not "information that isn't true." Can you understand that we are talking about opinions, feelings and preferences here? And that there's a difference between those three things and "fact?" It's not "information," we are talking about human feelings and thoughts here. No, not all blondes are stupid, (which is a fact,) but if you aren't attracted to blondes in the first place, that doesn't mean you are "wrong." I might miss out on someone who is a good match, but it's my choice to make. I am not comfortable with someone much younger than me, and if I'm uncomfortable at the outset, where do you really think it's going to go from there?

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

The Death of On-line Dating Posted: 1/2/2008 6:18:11 AM
I haven't always been here just for the forums. I spent about two years on this and several other sites (and I've paid for some of them) looking to meet someone. Since I'm looking at the same group of guys for the last two years, with very few new people added in my area and criteria, it just got to be boring. Boring and disheartening, considering how many men are either married or hiding "something," or are just looking for the proverbial one-nighter, or were just plain jerks, I closed my "dating" profile here, but didn't want to leave the forums, so I created this profile. A lot of people knew me on the forums under my other profile, and I like a lot of the folks here. But I'm not speaking of which I know nothing.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 36 (view)

racial restrictions Posted: 12/30/2007 8:26:38 PM
You can't call someone's PREFERENCES "inaccurate." That's about the most ridiculous thing I've read in awhile. If 6-7 years difference is too much for ME, who are you to tell me it's NOT? It's too much, you don't get to decide my preferences for me.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 67 (view)

why can't some girls just say no? Posted: 12/30/2007 3:14:34 PM
Ave, you haven't been online very long, have you? You gave personal experience that "proves" you are RIGHT, and no one else can be right if they have a different experience, is that what you are saying? I have personal experience that once I decide I am not going out with someone, they can ask me 74685638957 times, and I'm still not going out with them. I can "prove" that it's never happened that someone was ever able to PESTER me into dating him. If I use your logic, a single instance of failure makes YOU wrong. So who has proven "what" exactly here? The only thing you've proven is that you've run across a couple of women who play "the game," (the one where they pretend not to be interested, and count on you to predictably keep after them, and then they pretend to relent.) And I bet you thought it was because they couldn't resist the spell of your charming ways. If you go on the offensive as easily as you have on this thread, just because someone has a different opinion from you, I can see why you find it necessary to HARRASS women to go out with you.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 65 (view)

why can't some girls just say no? Posted: 12/30/2007 3:03:47 PM
So, Ave, by your logic, do you think every woman is here just to meet YOU? In case you missed it, there are many men on POF...and they are all looking for something different. Keeping pestering the same woman over and over after she's told you no is only going to annoy her and get you blocked. The "why are you here" argument just doesn't fly in this situation.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 64 (view)

why can't some girls just say no? Posted: 12/30/2007 2:59:59 PM
Why not make it easier on yourself? Rather than trying to change the entire female population, just take any hemming and hawing as a firm "NO" and move on!

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

racial restrictions Posted: 12/30/2007 2:04:30 PM
Would you reject a man that could be a good match for you just because he is 6-7 yrs younger or older than you.[/quote/ Older, no. Younger, absolutely. I couldn't be comfortable with someone that much younger than me for him to BE a good match for me. Just because you are dating someone with a huge age difference doesn't mean that everyone else should be comfortable with it. You can call it lame or whatever you want to, but you don't get to decide what everyone else's preferences and comfort level is. Your comfort level isn't the barometer by which the rest of us make our choices. Having our own preferences and choices doesn't make ANYone wrong.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

racial restrictions Posted: 12/30/2007 1:53:28 PM
Dang, Rowdysheis, I should have read further...you said what I was trying to, with much fewer words. LOL

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

racial restrictions Posted: 12/30/2007 1:52:02 PM
Once again, I never said that it should show up in the profile anywhere that anyone ELSE could see it. It would be in your preferences, and would just affect whose searches you showed up in. I don't claim to know how it could be implemented, but it seems like there should be a way. Other sites have a "reverse search," where you can look up "who is looking for me?" and that's all I was talking about. For that matter, on my previous yahoo and match accounts, my "ideal date" does include my racial preferences, right there on the profile. I never got one single email from anyone who had a problem with it. Basically when I can see that I am not what someone is looking for, (as in the example of men who want women with no kids,) I don't waste my time emailing them in the first place. If I could see that someone wasn't interested in someone of my race, I wouldn't waste my time emailing them. I wish there was a place on our profiles to show what age group we are looking for, for that matter. Not that it really matters, because few people actually read the profiles. But for people like me, and the OP, who do read them, and don't want to waste our time on people who wouldn't be interested, a little more detail on the profiles would be helpful.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 41 (view)

Will 44DD effect a girls ability to work Posted: 12/30/2007 1:38:28 PM
You guys who are asking for pictures don't know what you are asking for...44DD is not going to be what you think it is. 44 indicates how big AROUND her body is, not the size of "the girls" themselves. I am sure you are all envisioning a stripper-type with a teeny body and great big knockers, (more like a 34 DD) but that's not what a 44DD is.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

Will 44DD effect a girls ability to work Posted: 12/30/2007 7:17:18 AM
I'm not sure he's actually "asking," I think this was meant to give us all a giggle, because he DIDN'T fall for it!

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Will 44DD effect a girls ability to work Posted: 12/30/2007 7:04:44 AM
Tell her you heard that all the strip clubs in atlanta are hiring, and that she should earn enough money in one night to buy the stuff she needs.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Sex Life After Menopause? Posted: 12/30/2007 6:49:11 AM
So basicly you're all saying men should just hope for the best, but not expect it to be so? What happens if a woman turns out not to be interested after the change and just down right doesn't want it? What's a man who's sex drive still thrives and needs release suppose to do? What do you want, a guarantee? There aren't any, in any part of life. Just because there's not a name for it, many men go through the same thing, totally losing interest. You don't have the same testosterone level you did when you were 20 and it's going to drop every year for the rest of your life. So for women, it's a crapshoot as well. We also have to "hope for the best," don't we? But hey, WE aren't the ones who can lose our "ability" to function, men are. So with us, we have the double worry...will he lose interest? or the ability? Or BOTH? And I can tell you, that if this happens, there are very few men willing to see a doctor about it, because NATURALLY, "there's nothing wrong with me, it must be your fault!" Someone very close to me had this problem with her husband in their late TWENTIES. He had low testosterone, and when he took supplements things were much better. But he doesn't take them like he's supposed to, and this is a problem for them. I have a friend whose husband has ED due to diabetes, and has NO desire at all. And he won't touch her ever, at all. Some of it just becomes selfishness, (both men and women) if you ask me. Just because you lose YOUR desire, there's another person here who hasn't. So you tell us: what's a woman whose sex drive still thrives and needs release supposed to do?

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

racial restrictions Posted: 12/30/2007 6:30:20 AM
Guys, I don't think he's complaining about people not liking him for his skin color, he even said that he doesn't have a problem with people having their preferences...his point is that there's no way to filter these people out in our searches. If he could select in his searches, women who have no racial preferences, or women who prefer a specific list of races, and his was listed, then only women who are "looking for him" would come up in his searches. It's kind of a "reverse" search. Instead of searching for who you are looking for, you could search for who is looking for you. There are a few sites that have this now, and it's kinda cool. It's a way to weed out who is NOT looking for you for a specific reason, whether that be race, kids, hair color, whatever.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

racial restrictions Posted: 12/30/2007 6:24:27 AM
It doesn't even have to be in the profile so much...it could just be in the preferences in a way that women who are looking for your race will come up in your searches...like on a couple of other sites. It's set up so that not only people you are looking for, but people who are looking "for you" will show up in your searches. In other words, if I put in my preferences that I'm only looking to meet Asian men for example, I wouldn't even show up in your searches. I kinda know how you feel, because when I was on Yahoo about a year ago, a lot of men would come up in my searches who were looking for women with no kids. And there was no way to filter them out. I have kids, so there's no need for those men to show up in my searches. On the flip side, I wasn't showing up in THEIR searches because they could filter out women with kids...you just can't filter out people who WANT someone with no kids. LOL, does that make sense? It would be nice to be able to set the filters so that only the people we are looking for AND who are looking for us, would show up...then the matches would be closer.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

The Death of On-line Dating Posted: 12/30/2007 5:55:01 AM
Good point, EpisodeIV, if the pay sites are so successful, why are they running ads HERE? They are trying to lure back the people they've scammed for so long, who have finally gotten wise to their practices and either left, or let their paid memberships lapse. Good luck with that, right?

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

The Death of On-line Dating Posted: 12/30/2007 5:36:11 AM
Not only that, Gotapulse, many of the Nigerian scammers will sign up as women, (therefore free on some sites) and try to scam men. There's no way to prove the actual gender of someone when they sign up, if you sign up as a woman, your membership is free, no questions asked. Although I haven't seen any sites that were free to women...but really, is that such a great deal? How is that any different for me than on Yahoo? If I see a guy I find interesting, and he can't reply to me (or even read my email for that matter!) because he's not a paying member, aren't I in the same boat?

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

The Death of On-line Dating Posted: 12/30/2007 5:32:20 AM
Nogo, what are you talking about? You can do an "Advanced Search" and choose any criteria you want to, to find all the people in your area that fit those criteria. You can set the boundaries to as far away from your zip code as you want, or as close as 25 miles from you.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

The Death of On-line Dating Posted: 12/30/2007 5:28:02 AM
Namegame2, they may be different people where YOU live, but where I live, my list of people are almost identical on this site, Match and Yahoo, and any other that I've looked at. Being willing to pay is not a filter for crap. I know of two men who met women on yahoo who, one has had to get a restraining order and the other one needs to. A lot of people are starting to realize that the pay sites are ripping them off. And besides, if you were me, and you went to all three of the sites I mentioned, and found the same people, would you pay another site to contact them or would you contact them here? Would contacting them there somehow mean that the quality of that person would be better because I paid to contact him? He's the same person at either site. And just because you see someone on a pay site doesn't mean they are paying to use that site. The only problem with a free site is the number of scammers who can create account after account to try and scam people. And, from what I hear from guys I've talked to, a lot of hookers use the sites to generate business, or to attempt to. And the sleazy porn sites have discovered a way to contact men this way too. They send what looks like a nice email, then the next thing you know, you are getting an email with a link in it, and you are being asked for a credit card. And if people would quit being stupid and falling for scammers and online hookers, even they would see that they were wasting their time here and quit bothering. So if there was a way to filter out those sorts of things, there's no reason to filter out anyone here that shouldn't be filtered out at the pay sites. (nut jobs will pay for a membership just as well as anyone else.)

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

The Death of On-line Dating Posted: 12/30/2007 5:19:35 AM
Tyrone, it is NOT because the other sites have had great success, it's because of something that article probably didn't mention (didn't read it all), the fact that both Match and Yahoo have been caught putting up "dummy" profiles of "beautiful people," in order to bait people (usually men) into paying for their services. You can email these "people" all day, but you aren't going to get a reply, because they don't exist. Yahoo is now being named in a class action lawsuit over this. Word gets around about that kind of thing, and who is going to give them money?? Sites like Eharmony charge $60 a month, and then send you profiles (yes, send them to you, at a rate of 2-5 per week, you don't get to search at all) of people who aren't paying members, who can't reply to you if you do contact them. So not only with that site are you paying for something "sight unseen," without even knowing if there's anyone there who might interest you, in the event that there IS someone that might interest you, they likely can't reply to you if you contact them. Would YOU pay $60 for 4 weeks of that?? I can do a search here, and at Yahoo and at Match with the same criteria, and find most of the same people at all three places, in my geographical area. So it has nothing to do with one place or the other being a success or a failure, it's more about covering all the bases, from what I can see. By overlapping memberships, they don't miss anyone that might interest them. People are realizing that paying for a membership doesn't make you immune to the psychotic women and the married men that prowl these sites. The "bad" people can pay for a membership too, The same people who go to the pay sites are here too, and it has nothing to do with the fact that there's anything wrong with THEM...it's the fact that they've been jerked around by the pay sites for so long that they've just wasted a lot of time emailing people who don't exist and crap like that. I have an ad on my POF home page that tells me that 17 men are DYING to talk to me at a site where I don't even have a profile! Isn't that amazing? A free site has no reason to resort to that kind of thing, which IMO makes it more credible. A site like this is more conducive to actually meeting someone than a pay site. A pay site is more likely to NOT want you to meet someone, to keep you coming back month after month. The pay sites have shot themselves in the foot, and people are wising up to that fact.

just_here_4_forums

Joined: 8/19/2007

Msg: 44 (view)

Christmas argument Posted: 12/27/2007 7:44:50 AM
Well then he's been a bully his whole life. I stand by my suggestion to knee him in the groin and tell him "I'm just playing, besides, you know you love it when I do that!"

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