Besides which, if only ONE oerson EVER gave you bad feedback on , say, a restaurant and 100 others said it was wonderful, would you stop going to that restaurant? Guys seem to want to be stubbornly poutful about this particlaur act.

Well obviously - none of my efforts on any site has 'yielded' me a girlfriend - otherwise I would have taken her out tonight to Lucille's Bistro tonight for a Valentines Dinner.

It is a two way street 'ya know - not all the choosing - nor the rejection is done by women to men... I am very selective and so are many women - some day it will happen... I know Singles venues work because years ago I met a fine young woman via a personal ad - we had two dates and she didn't go home for ten years... (better than some marriages I'd say)...

My Grouse hunting on this thread has been very successful - but I must go on to other hunting grounds...

I just challenge any of you to use the web links and go see...

There is nothing 'chicken' about posting numerous photos on a major social networking site and tagging your profile there as 'dating' - seeking long term relationship...

I bet good money that my photo appears on the Internet in more places that yours (dating sites like Match.com, Matchmaker.com - the social networking sites, Twitter.com and more.

Actually - it is a test - a sort of IQ test - if a woman can follow a couple of web links - then perhaps she is intelligent and can engage in interesting conversation...

Or - if she can't - then - OH WELL!... Some folks can't find their fanny with both hands...

There are other tests I conduct that reveal the 'walking wounded' - who grouse at men for no real reason...

If a person of either sex is looking to find someone to date/mate/marry, one would think they would take care of their bodies. Dating and mating are competitive. Don't they understand that?

I am sick of dating! Also, since they say there is only a 5% chance a woman my age will ever become part of a long term couple maybe those that are with someone are holding on tight!!

My son used to call me a cougar for dating younger guys, but I never had "brief liasons", or one-night stands.

...what a cougar wants at this point in her social and emotional life just happens to match up with what many young men want--hot, satisfying sex with someone who won't be a lifetime or live-in partner. It doesn't hurt if this someone is a pleasure to look at, fun to be with, interesting to talk to, and good for the ego. Someone who can handle more than one martini without falling over is an asset too.

If she can't get any of that, plenty of steamy sex will do very well.

While prey does indeed come in many ages, shapes, sizes and income brackets, cougars generally pounce on younger men for one reason and one reason only. I has nothing to do with money, ego, marriage, children, a mothering instinct, a desire to explore his mind, or the urge to use him as an accessory. (Okay, maybe an accessory. There is far more cachet in having a young hunk on your arm than a Chanel or Prada bag.) There's really no prize for guessing. The main attraction is--you knew it all along--sex!

Now for me to commit to even a date, a man better pull out all the stops emotionally, because I am done w/ the (insert string of undesirables here)

msg 78..girl diver..how does a woman have sex like a man?
are you saying men have sex with no feelings for the female?

M'am..I knew a cougar 30 years ago before these women were called cougars..she was 36...I was 26..she was married..I was not..She had what you called "having sex like a man"..
I was used for my youth and prowess..she took much more than my time and body fluids..it's wrong no matter who does the taking.
You can correct me all night long as long as you whisper "I love you" in the morning..

Ladies I do apoligize... i actually wrote that to see how long it would take you all to jump on the stage and howl....2 minutes...I won my bet..you proved me correct once again...I'll be singing ..mrs robinson..all day..:)

They are looking for the Knight on the silver Harley to come rescue them..lol Of course he must be a professional just like them with AA degree. Then he must have a house and all kinds of money..After paying child support and giving up the house to his ex wife.. They want it all now. Sad part is the economy along with the sliver Harley is going down the drain. Keep dreaming ladies.. I gave up I just read the forums.

I don't know how people find all that spare time, especially so early in the relationship. I'm usually doing something. It takes a bit of organising and reshuffling to make regular space for a relationship - and I can't imagine have enough space to see someone 5-6 nights a week for a few more years.

you have the 50-60 yr old Cougars who want pounded like a peice of meat by 30 and 40 yr olds..they think they look and act younger than their age..sorry it aint true...then they tend to boo hoo when the younger man dumps them for a "girl" his age. Ofcourse this doesn't happen to all but it seems to happen to most.

An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf. Cougars are gaining in popularity -- particularly the true hotties -- as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her chit together.

That cougar I met last night, showed me shit I didn't know existed, I'm goin back for more.

Love at 50, for most women means no pregnancy or threat of a pregancy, which excludes entrapment issues....unlike young things!

The propoganda and myth mongering I see is from older women attempting to convince men near their age to date and marry them. The facts show older men prefer dating and marrying younger women. Evolutionary reasons dictate this obvious phenomenon apparent to any observant person who is not in denial about it or wants to justify her own agenda, perhaps comprising convincing older men to consider dating and marrying her.

have two of my own , and love to chat about thier future, and other folks childrens future, BUT, out of 20 conversations with ladies , 18 result in the problems ,ladies are haveing with thier children,, im talking about the age group, 19-30,
Im not interested in thier problems , and they do not need to bring them into the conversation on the first meeting,, seems they have no one to express thier frustrations with so out it comes, on the first meeting or in the chat box, .

If someone who knows nothing about you is immediately charming and romantic, it would seem they are basing their actions on something other than your personality, intellect, etc. but that would be a rational analysis.

At any rate, you have to define 'bad boy' beyond 'not boring' to gain some ground here in your argument. Because THAT'S the attraction. Hey, ask 'em! Trust me, the last thing on a woman's mind is logic, no matter what they may claim. And the fact is, we are not far behind them when it comes to Love. Well, shouldn't be, anyway.

You are clearly looking for a "bad boy" as are most women. Just read the responses above.

"Chemistry" is an emotional thing, not a logical thing. The logical thing would be to find the opposite of a lying, cheating, vain, abusive, self-centered and self-destructive bad boy. "Chemistry" finds all these traits attractive when the bad boy's attention is turned your way. The "sparks" are your own ego having grabbed the attention of the perceived leader of the pack. You will not find that in "good men" unless you change yourself.

The REAL problem here though, is that women need a scapegoat. And marketers of books, tv shows and any other product out there DEPEND on knowing a woman's psychy...which is to 'blame the man'. Oprah knows it..... Suse Orman knows it... Cosmo knows it... Greg Behrendt knows it.... EVERYBODY KNOWS IT. Show a way to blame 'the man'.....and you are 'in the money'. How else DO you explain 'Sex In The City'?? There wasn't a woman amongst the four that I would have ever considered having anything to do with in real life. But for some reason....all women could somehow 'relate' to at least ONE if not ALL FOUR of the characters. So WHO is out of touch with reality?? The guy who doesn't WANT THAT?? Or the Girl who believes THAT is what you should aspire to??

LOL I think I did that type of thing maybe twice in my life, in my early twenties. In those days, we tend to look as good in the morning as the night before. The not respect or not calling again, I think, is due to the man just wanting sex and the woman expecting more...seems to be a fairly typical situation at most ages. As I've only, except once or twice, slept with men I have gotten to know first, I have never had that problem.

I think SunnyTexas post #21 and Gadfly hit the nail on the head. I have never understood this whole "closure thing" that some people need, especially if you have been dating less than say, three months. I have had it done to me, where in "my mind" things were going smooth as silk, and then the phone stops ringing or e-mails stop. What usually goes through my mind is hmmmmm:

^^ I found myself beginnning to do the 'fall in love' thing over net/phone. It's kinda easy to do. Talking every day. So I drove long distance to meet him to make sure it wasn't all "imagination" (for lack of better word).
In person I saw the real guy. Nice guy.. nothing 'wrong' with him. But what he was able to 'be' online and on phone just wasn't what he really was in real-life, (and I don't mean physical appearance).
It happens all the time.

At that point, very early on when we do not yet have a relationship established and I want to bail I do not want to face all the verbal abuse she will likely heap on me so I just stop calling her or in effect disappear. It is frequently the least hassle and the best way to deal with it from a man's perspective.

Oh my !! and I thought - Oh .. Do I have a story!! lmao at the coffee shop CIA story!! lololol I betcha there's lots of witness protection people on pof!!! lololol

Could you tell us one of your lunatic stories. I love those.

Once you find the other to be attractive it's on to see if there's chemistry?
Does it work to bypass attraction? What happens if you go straight to chemistry?

Wait a minute! Are you the same person that said you were doing some kind of project and this was all false and research to see how people responded? I KNOW that I posted there and cannot find it . I think thread was deleted and I am guessing most of the people posting here are not aware of it. You've all been punked!

I think that women will be attracted to more than 5%

Which proves that men are 9 times as tolerant and accepting as women. Realistic, might be another virtue to interpret from those numbers.

We had a meeting recently and it went very well. He called that same night to thank me and told me he told his kids all about me. (I am still in thinking friends mode here as no relationship has started yet.) Two days later, he signs into MSN and all I said was "hello". His response was that "I was pressuring him and he was scared".

I think it's a 'different strokes for different folks' GD..... I've had it both ways too, but each person would have to define their version of what attractive is too them

The woman might have sexual intercourse with any Tom, Dicck or Harry but she tends to only allow her most precious partners to achieve this symbolic level.

---if that makes any sense.

Just playing a bit of the devils advocate here

It seems like all the women here want a "monogamous, committed relationship", yet at the same time don't really want " some man underfoot all the time", as if we should just come over once in a while and have sex, then go back to our own house and read Baudelaire and listen to Fauré, or translate passages from Ovid until she gets another itch she wants to scratch.

i finally told him in emails...an never a reply.....because i was afraid to chase him away....an once i did...things got cold...so what reasson do u have now...for my actions.

I BECAME SO FRUSTRATED WITH HIM... because he could not communicate his feelings for me outloud. Now that I have spoken with my words, some not so tastefully done, he has called it quits. But I am a person, who tells it like it is. Hell, anyone person can relate, but only if you are mature enough to think about the facts of reality, in any angle. But my real problem here is, why do men almost always never relay their feelings.

Please guys, from what I m reading there are not to many woman who like men who die their hair, sooooooooooo don't die it

we love your salt and pepper hair

Ok girldiver, you WIN...I recede! I came on here seeking some help or answers (just like the OP), regarding peoples need for instant spark. This does seem to be a very big problem w/many that I have spoken to. But, who needs Dr. Phil - I can now move on knowing that it's not really that common of problem...it's just simply "ME"! Thank you for your gracious insight..........................

girldiver - you're a real ball-buster, aren't you? I have never been perceived as whiny, needy, dull, or any less successful than any other man on here. After 3 yrs. on here, I'm sure I'm just going through a rough stretch...as most of us do. It's girls like you that come in here w/your George Clooney fantasies & kick us when we're down...that makes it really hard to remain strong, confident, sexy, & mischievousness men (aka: BITE ME)

OMG, should I go w/the bad boy image then.....I do have the Harley?

I keep hearing about how the girls are avoiding any more of the bad guys they've been with before...but yet, they're avoiding the good guys. And ya'll wonder why we haven't figured out women yet

There are just way too many people on here set to "instantaneous", if they don't feel it on that 1st date...there is NO 2nd date! I'm just not sure how to deal w/that, it gets really rough on the self-esteem after awhile

I'm in a similar situation, in my case, I'm only giving oral to a guy I love very much, I've put this up on forums, gotten extreme heck for it. But I'm going to do what makes me happy, what I am happy and comfortable with for as long as I want to.
Just go for it, enjoy and don't feel guilty or let others make you feel guilty.