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 Author Thread: Lazy boss or dodgy boss?
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Lazy boss or dodgy boss?
Posted: 7/7/2009 2:08:11 AM
Vanaheim,

That's ok....I know I stress too much about things I can't control...so I'll just have to let this one go, I guess.
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Lazy boss or dodgy boss?
Posted: 7/7/2009 2:02:18 AM
Thank you Vanaheim

I will think about a career in law inforcement....or somewhere a hard-nosed vulture is required.
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Lazy boss or dodgy boss?
Posted: 7/7/2009 1:55:36 AM
Ok Vanaheim....

His so-called intelligence, as you said, means that I can't do my job properly when he dosn't communicate with me as to which customers I shouldn't chase up and which I should.

How is that " intelligence", when I am asking for payment at one end, and he is saying "Oh...you're sick, you poor dear, don't worry about paying", on the other end.

If he's going to do this, good luck to him, but he could at least let me know so I don't send the customer mixed signals, don't you think? Not very intelligent, if you ask me!
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Lazy boss or dodgy boss?
Posted: 7/7/2009 1:49:18 AM
Hi Deb & MyForumsite

Deb, Thanks for your input. Yes....he is the owner of the business, so I guess it's his choice what he does. I really shouldn't get worked up about it. It's just confusing sometimes because he dosn't always let me know who I shouldn't contact & the outcomes of his conversations with these non-payers. So, it's lack of communication too.

MyForumsite,

Thank you too for your wise advise. You're right that he is the owner and if the business goes down, it's on his shoulders. I'm really not trying to tell him what to do...I'm just doing what I beleive is right, which is obviously wrong in the boss's eyes.

By the way, the business in Accountancy and Auditing....go figure.

Thanks again.
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Lazy boss or dodgy boss?
Posted: 7/7/2009 1:41:54 AM
Vanaheim,

Thanks for your outbust.

I actutally have confronted him about this and he continues to give me vague remarks, including, "You can try to chase the money but you won't get it". Regarding your remark about him sacking me, should I confront him, well, I'll take that chance.

I mentioned in my orginal post that part of my job includes debt collecting. It therefore dosn't help when I don't know which ones to collect and which one's to "tread lightly with". Working in accounts means that I am responsible for cash flow, so don't you dare try to tell me that I am making a mountain out of a molehill, you ignorant man!

About your comment of me "trying to run the proprietary", get real, you tosser! I am just trying to improve cash flow, hence do my job. About "using my personality when spending their money"....what? That dosn't even make sense.

Enjoy your time pouring beer, ok!
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Lazy boss or dodgy boss?
Posted: 7/7/2009 12:24:12 AM
Hi

I'm hoping to get some advice....

I work in accounts and part of my job is to collect outstanding cusotmer debts.

I have been in my current job for 7 months and when I first started, there were a quite a few debts in the "90 days and over". I managed to collect a third of these debts in the first few months (including one customer my boss said "not to worry about").

During my time there, I have periodically approached my boss about the best way to go about clearing up these remaining debts so we can both be on the same page (for example, I will call one of these customers, insisting that payment is made by a certain time, otherwise we will commence further action, ie collection agency etc)....the customer will then call my boss directly and my boss will sympathise with their excuse of "being unwell, lack of funds" and all other excuses under the sun.

When I then go and approach my boss about this, he says that I just shouldn't bother with chasing these customers up, because he knows they won't pay anyway. Having said this, I did manage to collect money from one of these 'lost causes', even though he told me not to try.

Another thing is, that he continues to do work for these customers who havn't paid their last account for more than 5 months...!?

I am just pissed off that he dosn't seem to care. His complacency affects cash flow, which I am responsible for. His answer to this is "Oh, well....just transfer some funds from my account if you're short".....My point is that we shouldn't have to do this if the customers pay their accounts.

It is also so hypocritical that he himself is an accountant and the owner of the business....helllo!

I'm wondering if he's just lazy or maybe doing some private deals with these customers?
'
The bottom line is...my work ethics don't match his and it's frustrating the shit out of me.

Any advice? Thanks.
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Complacent Boss
Posted: 7/6/2009 5:50:22 AM
Thanks for your reply Nipoleon

I know....it really has suprised me how many dodgy businesses there are out there (have seen a few during my temping days).

I definately will keep my eyes out for other opportunities, as my respect for him is now close to zero.

Thanks again.
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Complacent Boss
Posted: 7/6/2009 5:46:11 AM
Hi WantaSmart

The business IS actually Accountancy & Auditing!!

Aside from the customer debt issue, he also hasn't paid the company's Income Tax on time, plus the Business Activity Statements (an Australian tax return) hadn't been lodged for three period's, ie a little less than a year.

When I approached him about possible fines and penalties the company may incur from the tax office, he didn't seem to care about that either....VERY STRANGE.

I really have no respect for him at all anymore .....or maybe I care too much.
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Complacent Boss
Posted: 7/6/2009 12:56:52 AM
Hi Nexthyme

Thanks for the reply.

You're right...he is one big wuss-bag. It's really frustrating dealing with him.

I think I'll keep my eye out for other opportunities.

I hope things get better for your SO too.

Thanks again...

 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Complacent Boss
Posted: 7/6/2009 12:52:46 AM
Hi Rosia

Thanks for the reply....it's much appreciated.

He is the owner & director of the company.

There is one customer who has owed more than $50k from last year. When I asked him about who I should contact about this debt, ie accounts payable, owner, etc, he said, "Oh....don't bother...I know they won't pay". I then persisted and asked about sending them a letter to suggest they pay in instalments. He then said, "Oh, ok...just ask for $1,000 at a time" !!!! When I asked him if this was going to be $1,000 per week, he said, "Oh....they can't afford to pay that often...I wouldn't bother".

Since then, one payment of $1,000 did arrive, of which he asked me to transfer straight to his personal account! Since then, no futher payments. So yes, Rosia, what you are saying sounds right....something dodgy going on.

With the other customers, I don't know if he's just being soft and gutless or if it's the same dodgy deal.

To my way of thinking, if he's doing a personal deal with these customers, the sales shouldn't be in the company's ledger, (and I woudn't have to worry about them).

When I ask him about writing the debts off, if he dosn't want me to pursue them, he insists that I leave them.

I'm quickly losing respect for the shister.
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Complacent Boss
Posted: 7/5/2009 11:48:20 PM
Hi

I'm hoping to get some advice....

I work in accounts and part of my job is to collect outstanding cusotmer debts.

I have been in my current job for 7 months and when I first started, there were a quite a few debts in the "90 days and over". I managed to collect about half of these debts in the first few months (including one customer my boss said "not to worry about").

During my time there, I have periodically approached my boss about the best way to go about clearing up these remaining debts so we can both be on the same page (for example, I will call one of these customers, insisting that payment is made by a certain time, otherwise we will commence further action, ie collection agency etc)....the customer will then call my boss directly and my boss will sympathise with their excuse of "being unwell, lack of funds" and all other excuses under the sun.

When I then go and approach my boss about this, he says that I just shouldn't bother with chasing these customers up, because he knows they won't pay anyway. Having said this, I did manage to collect money from one of these 'lost causes', even though he told me not to try.

Another thing is, that he continues to do work for these customers who havn't paid their last account for more than 5 months...!?

I am just pissed off that he dosn't seem to care. His complacency affects cash flow, which I am responsible for. His answer to this is "Oh, well....just transfer some funds from my account if you're short".....My point is that we shouldn't have to do this if the customers pay their accounts.

It is also so hypocritical that he himself is an accountant....helllo!

The bottom line is...my work ethics don't match his and it's frustrating the shit out of me.

Any advice? Thanks.
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Loners vs. lonely
Posted: 4/13/2009 12:48:02 AM
I am a loner in general, but can be social when I need to be (as long as I don't feel pressured to go somewhere I don't really want).

If I were to meet a guy, I wouldn't want him to be ultra-social and wanting to hit the town every weekend because I'd much rather get take-away, have a few drinks or just watch a dvd / footy, snuggling on the couch.

I don't mind occassional family gatherings, etc and I can be freindly and jovial enough , but when it's time to go, it's time to go. I can only take so much, as it is sometimes energy-draining.
 MissLioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 126 (view)
 
If you had the perfect partner how often would you want sex?
Posted: 12/28/2008 4:17:38 AM
Round I...Early in the morning, before the alarm, I would love to be woken with a little nuzzling, followed by some serious slap & tickle (sex)!

Then, maybe in the evening before or after dinner, Round II....we could have each other for dessert.

Lastly, at bedtime Round III...mmmmmmm! Possibly followed by Round IV. Why not!?
 MissLioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 996 (view)
 
Whats an instant turn on for you
Posted: 12/28/2008 3:28:59 AM
Turn ons: I know it's been said before, but being grabbed from behind while I'm distracted with something and being kissed on my neck and ear is HOT! Feeling that he is hard against me is even better I also have a weakness for a bit of face stubble too.....grrrrr! Oh...and big hands and thighs make me weak at the knees.

Turn offs: bad kissing and farters
 MissLioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 21 (view)
 
what is difference between Friend with benefits and sexual abuse?
Posted: 12/28/2008 2:55:26 AM
If you really feel like you are being emotionally abused, why are you hanging around? You do have a choice. As far as being 'emotionally raped', he is not literally holding you down against your will, so I'm not sure how you came up with this analogy.

Anyway, good luck and I hope you find the strength to make the right choice.
 MissLioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 189 (view)
 
How do women feel about guys sniffing dirty panties?
Posted: 12/27/2008 4:12:43 AM
Can't believe how many prudes there are on this thread! I don't think the OP was talking about "dirty panties" meaning "skid-mark city".....just naturally worn undies (I hope, anyway).

If I had a partner who enjoyed having a little sniff of my undies once in a while, it would excite and flatter me.
 MissLioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Can't play the game
Posted: 11/17/2008 12:58:34 AM
Thanks to all for your wise words....especially Oldsoul . You all make a lot of sense!

 MissLioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Can't play the game
Posted: 11/14/2008 9:41:04 PM
I know that relationship advice should be taken with a grain of salt, however, it seems obviously apparent that in order for a relationship between a man and a woman to develop, that games (even the subtle ones) are compsulsory.

As I am an honest and expressive person, I have always found holding back feelings and non-communication difficult, which in turn means that acting cool and aloof / uninterested, when I am infact interested in a guy does not come easy to me.

When it comes to a new relationship, I've constantly heard the following advice -

"Show interest but don't act overly keen" .......is there a keen-ness metre?

"Never seem too available".......if I like him and want to see him, why the hell not?

"Don't sleep with him on the 1st or 2nd date".......hey, what's good for the goose is good for the gander! This seems sooooo hypocritical!

Another bit of advice states that while this is not necessarily playing games, us women need to understand that men are biologically different from women (yes, I understand this) and therefore think alot differently to women when it comes to courting, ie they enjoy the chase and the challenge. The advice goes on to say that if us women could just understand this and try to "think a little more like a man", things would go alot smoother and we would finally get the desired result (a man who will want to fully committ to us).

That's fine, but my arguement is, why can't a man try to think a little more like a woman (and meet us half way) and hence understand that we desire and appreciate attention, affection and most of all despise games and tests, such as - after a successful date and subsequent contact made by him afterwards, then no contact for a week, just so he can see how I react.

They say that games are necessary (to a point) for a relationship to develop. If that's the case, I'm done!
 MissLioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Guys, is it true you have only these 3 basic needs?
Posted: 5/3/2008 4:47:57 AM
[What they are saying is that, far too often, you women make things AND LIFE.....FAR more complex than you need to. And MOST TIMES, you CREATE problems that simply DON'T need to be ever created...... Most times, women are convinced that unless there is a PROBLEM somewhere, something ISN'T RIGHT.... And most times, you try to actually convince yourself that your ability to CREATE problems is due to your somehow GREATER evolved SUPERIOR BRAINS.... So you ASSUME that men are somehow NEANDERTHAL when they say 'hey....life is SIMPLE....and this is all that we require to be HAPPY!! We don't need to get involved in anybody else's business, buy four hundred pairs of shoes that we'll never wear, talk trash about our friends the way that you do, or make mountains out of molehills when the house isn't just SPARKLING CLEAN or JUST PERFECT.....!!" As men, we know that it's simply better to ENJOY LIFE, and NOT SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF!!]

pair o docks,

that made total sense docks (even though I'm a female and usually do over-complicate things)
 MissLioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 117 (view)
 
How can you nonchalantly find out if he is single?
Posted: 5/3/2008 4:24:35 AM
Smart Blonde,

Just wanted to say good on you for taking the initiative in the first place. By no means did it sound like you were playing any games. It just sounds like innocent mutual flirting which could or could not have turned into something more. You never know if you don't try, right? You seem an attractive, intelligent gal who is bound to meet some spunk soon, I'm sure.

Also, regarding the fool who mentioned game-playing, harrassement and law suits etc, GET A LIFE, PRUDE and ASK SOMEONE OUT....you may actually get lucky one day!

Best of luck Smart Blonde (not that you need it)
 MissLioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 239 (view)
 
Guys - what are major turn off's for you that we WOULDNT guess at?
Posted: 4/25/2008 4:30:15 AM
"hairy minis"

Hairy mini? that's a new one!
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 75 (view)
 
Tattoo's and Harley's why do they scare most women?
Posted: 3/15/2008 7:01:42 PM
I'm not uninterested or scared of guys with tattoo's or harley's at all, as long as the tattoo's arn't smothering his whole body and that he's a decent person - fine.

I'd much rather a tattoo'd guy than the more uptight conservative type!
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Birthday Party
Posted: 3/15/2008 3:31:19 AM
If it's a party you should make sure the genders are somewhat equally represented. I'd hate to be invited to a party only to find women there.
It is NOT reasonable to ask them to bring dates.

Nordic,
Hell, I didn't realise the rules of holding a party were so strict! Shouldn't the main objective be that the OP celebrates her birthday with people she enjoys being with (whether that be male or female)? She is not organising a singles mixer night...she is trying to organise HER birthday! Take a chill pill!

OP,
Have your birthday the way you want it....and have fun!!!


Miss Lioness
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 114 (view)
 
are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/15/2008 1:43:09 AM
I seem to be horrible at picking a partner. I inevitably pick the man who won't/can't open up emotionally. It's like throwing your affection at a brick wall and watching it bounce off. Maybe people who aren't willing to take the chance and show some affection are the ones who should stop getting involved with others until they learn to love.

Great post Desi!!
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 61 (view)
 
Can you date a feminine guy?
Posted: 3/13/2008 12:45:23 AM
No...I couldn't date a feminine guy - it's just a quality I'm not attracted to.

Give me a guy that loves his footy, likes to work up a sweat, belches occassionally (not in public), and is good with his hands (fixing things & in the bodiour) any day!!
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 61 (view)
 
The cock block!
Posted: 3/12/2008 12:41:45 AM
The simple solution is to engage the services of a c0ck block blocker. However, even this move is not fail safe, for one must also be on the lookout for your intended’s c0ck block blocker blocker or, worse, her entire c0ck blockade.

Frau,
Das ist gut!!! This is the funniest and best solution ever!!!
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 60 (view)
 
The cock block!
Posted: 3/12/2008 12:34:38 AM
Men really like thinking of themselves as having chicken sized penises, I guess.....

Do you mean willy's (co cks) the size of chickens or willy's the size of a chicken's willy? hehe
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Who has had bad PMS?
Posted: 3/12/2008 12:09:15 AM
I usually become a bit more sensitive, snappy and emotional for a couple of days. It wouldn't be so bad that my work colleagues would notice, ie I wouldn't be put in a corner for time out but things in general would irritate me more than usual. Having said that, people closer to me, like family and friends would probably know that I was 'in a mood'

I sometimes get really bad cramps also but that can be helped with muscle-relaxant medication and a good nap
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 85 (view)
 
Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 3/5/2008 10:31:59 PM
[C'mon, fess up guys. Have you ever had sex with a woman on the first date and afterwards thought to yourself: "I don't think she's relationship material. She's kind of a slut."
It's a nasty double standard, and entirely unfair but it happens.]


Heathenspririt,

Yes....it is a double standard and you admit it....so why adhere to it? Contrary to popular belief, a person (who questions things) can go against the grain of out-dated so called 'standards' and try to evolve their way of thinking a bit. If you try to accept that men and women are equal, surely you could consider that values 'labels' should be equal too! If you agree that its a double standard to label a woman a slut, just because that's the way it's always been, why can't you simply choose NOT to accept that hypocrisy??

Miss Lioness
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 84 (view)
 
Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 3/5/2008 10:22:52 PM
[well now a day sex on te first date is ok, but some men will think your easy and if that is what you did with him how many more men have you been that way with. i three dates then sex is acceptable, but not the first night unless you just wanted sex only.]

Q37,

That's what I don't get....why the hell does it matter if a woman has had a few sexual partners before you?? Is a man that insecure with his prowess in bed that he feels thereatened by a woman who enjoys sex, just like most men do?? Another stupid double standard that I will never ever understand or accept...sorry!

Miss Lioness
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 3/4/2008 3:24:20 AM
Good thread foxx!

I've always wondered (and struggled) about the same thing....

There have been times when I have had sex on the 1st date if I really got along well with a guy and there was mutual sexual attraction. Following some of these occassions though, the guy/s had only wanted to continue seeing me on a casual basis (not a relationship). Whether this was because I 'gave out' on the first date or if they just wern't ready for a relationship in general, I'll never know.

What I do know however, is that it makes me rage with fury that there is still such a double standard in this day and age. verymad:

For those guys that have a problem with a girl choosing to have sex on the first date and branding them 'easy', etc....why don't those same guys abstain themselves if/when faced with the possibility of sex? If they really want to wait and see what develops (if they think there's potential for a relationship and think it may be ruined with first-night sex, why not say NO to the girl, if they really hold this out-dated view?)

Hope I havn't babbled too much, but what's good for the goose is bloody good for the gander in my opinion.

Luv ya Foxx!

Lioness:
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 82 (view)
 
finishing your family before 35??
Posted: 1/1/2008 5:17:10 AM
"My mom had me when she was 36, my sister had her last kid in her 30's - nothing wrong with it - but both are in stable committed loving relationships...
maybe a lot of us older women are single, because we cannot find mature enough men?
Our eggs might be sitting on the shelf too long, but we are going to be a lot more picky on who is going to have a crack at the last ones... "

Here Here Queenrhiannon!
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Help me out here -- I really want to understand and not do it again
Posted: 12/31/2007 10:50:14 PM
"You can not start dating someone and just assume you are exclusive, which is exactly what you did. You didn't discuss it with him. You assumed you are exclusive, and obviously he doesn't see your relationship like that, and if you had talked to him about it you would have known it."

Naeco,
I would have thought that by the guy introducing the OP as his 'girlfriend' (and presuming that she was fine with this), that there would be an assumption of exclusivity!?
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 142 (view)
 
3rd date Sex then the guy disappears
Posted: 12/30/2007 10:13:23 PM
[Hey...most of us have had this experience. To say you went to fast or gave it up to soon is not fair. You can hold out for a long time and still after the "deed" is done, he can disappear. There is no black and white answer to sex to soon. I have seen it both ways and it has worked out for the good in relationships.]

[It is the fact he has disappeared that has you second guessing yourself. It wasn't the sex...this is not the issue. The issue is his character in my opinion. He would have split either way]

Zeanah59,

The best advice/opinion so far I think!! Hoooraah
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 141 (view)
 
3rd date Sex then the guy disappears
Posted: 12/30/2007 10:03:06 PM
ch33kypaulx,

[girls - you need to concentrate on cooking your man a nice meal, fetching his paper, and the remote contol for the the telly- and stop thinking too much.... Now be a love and make me a cup of tea]

That's not even funny for a joke! Now, get back to rubbing your wife's feet, would you!
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 96 (view)
 
Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/26/2007 10:47:22 PM
Well said Ladyc4!
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 95 (view)
 
Are men more attracted to women that play hard to get?
Posted: 12/26/2007 10:38:54 PM
"If a woman were to chase a man in a black nightie, first he'll have sex with her..and then he'll run."
Firstly, why a guy would be wearing a black nightie is a bit of a peculiar image, but hey... whatever floats your boat.

Hey travellingbug...I was thinking the same...but personally, nothing would make me want to instigate the chase more than spotting a fella galavanting in a red, lace camisole and panty set!! Sure beats a black nightie - that's soooo 1990's!
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Why am I still single, you ask? Good question!
Posted: 12/22/2007 3:35:41 PM
[I didn't like this idea, especially given that it's December and Half Moon Bay is, like, a seaside town. What were we going to do, watch the polar bears race along the coast?]

What is so bad about meeting on the coast? Sounds like a much better option if you're a bit phobic about the hustle and bustle of the city.

[Still, man is slave to the wiles of women. Or something. So I agreed to SF]

How are you a slave if the two of you compromised on SF....she originally wanted to meet on the coast, didn't she?

If you didn't like the options of meeting either in the city or the coast, did you suggest any other options?

[walking around the bay on a December Sunday gave me a sinus infection which caused me to call out sick yesterday.]

Sounds like you might be a little bit allergic to life as well.
 MissLioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 97 (view)
 
First date- and he ogles the 22 yr old waitress all night
Posted: 12/15/2007 6:47:15 PM
What a dillusional old fart indeed!

Did you notice any smoke coming from his chest from the aftermaths of his pace-maker exploding?
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Now it's your turn fella...
Posted: 12/6/2007 6:17:15 PM
Hi Mr Dynomite!

Yes...he initiated the contact.

Not meaning to be too assuming but I think once he realised I wasn't the FWB/FB type, he suddenly seized up. Better to know now that later!
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Now it's your turn fella...
Posted: 12/6/2007 6:00:34 PM
Hi delblueboy

As he works in Sales, coaches kids sports and used to manage footballers, (something that I took time finding out about him, unlike he with me), I would doubt that he's shy.

Thanks for your input though!
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
My Thread
Posted: 12/6/2007 5:37:31 PM
Thank you deceased
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
My Thread
Posted: 12/6/2007 5:25:41 PM
Hi

I have started a thread (Now Your Turn Fella...)

I have 19 replies but I can't view them (the option to delete redundant thread box appears with only my post).

Will I be able to read the replies or has your system still deciding whether to delete my thread?

Thank you.
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Now it's your turn fella...
Posted: 12/6/2007 3:15:27 PM
I hope this dosn't sound petty but here goes.....

I've exchanged a couple of emails with a guy...in his first email he said that he'd love the chance to get to know me.

When it was my turn to mail him back, I showed some interest by asking him general questions, ie work, kids, our shared interest of football, etc. He seemed to appreciate my questions/interest and then again said that he'd like to find out more about me.

Because he didn't ask me anything about myself, I asked him what he'd like to know (I have trouble talking about myself unless questions are asked...don't know why...it's just the way I communicate....besides, I don't know what the person is interested in knowing about me until they ask). When I asked him what he'd like to know, he replied that it was up to me to devulge, as he didn't want to sound rude or too inquisitive!!!????

Anyway, because I had the courtesy in asking about him and his interests, I just gathered that he should do the same, if (as he said himself), he was keen to get to know me. I just don't understand this. I kind of think it's plain laziness on his part...either that or disinterest. Or is it just that he dosn't know how to communicate?
 misslioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Do you enjoy when your woman gets frisky with you out of the blue?
Posted: 12/3/2007 3:55:49 PM
What about spanking? Is that too dominant?
 MissLioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Am I right?
Posted: 12/1/2007 9:34:30 PM
Hi Suzi

Thanks for your reply...

I know that 2 months, in the grand scheme of things is pretty short a time. When would you think a reasonable amount of time would be before making up your mind whether to hang around?
 MissLioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Am I right?
Posted: 12/1/2007 8:49:25 PM
Hi m409998m

Thanks for your input

Your question about what commitment means to me....to me, it means seeing one another, pretty much just the way that we are at the moment but I want to be exclusive with him and he with me.

My no means, am I ready for engagement or marriage. I agree with you that it takes a long time to truely know someone.

I know it's not the same for everyone but how long a period would you say that dating should turn into commitment (not marriage but a relationship), if you consider 2 months too short a time?
 MissLioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Am I right?
Posted: 12/1/2007 8:14:44 PM
Just wonderng if any of you could share your opinions on this one.....

I have been seeing a guy for about 2 months and we get along great. We've been seeing eachother twice a week. Pretty much from the start, he told me that he didn't want a commitment with anybody at the moment. At the time, that was fine with me because we were getting to know one another and I didn't really know what I wanted myself.

Now that a couple of months have passed, I have really got to like this guy, which started me thinking about his commitment comment. So about a week ago, when he was at my place, I brought this up and told him that I wanted a relationship. He told me that he still just wanted to see one another but without being in a commitment. I basically then asked him to leave and that things wouldn't work because we wanted different things.

A week passed and just the other night he called and asked what I was up to. He wanted to hang out but I reminded him that no, he couldn't come over because it had been established that we were both on different pages with the commitment thing. He then messaged me that he missed me and that yes, he does want to be a couple.

Then today, I received a message from him that he'd thought about it and that he does not want a commitment at the moment and wanted to be honest with me, as he likes me too much to string me along but he missed the week that we didn't spend together.

I am pretty sure that I'm right about this.....that he has decided he's not into me enough to want to be in a relationship with me but that he just wants to have his cake and eat it too. I've learnt that if a guy tells you something at the start, believe him. I'm assuming that he's made up his mind about this (despite his short-term indecisiveness) and that he will never want to commit to me. Am I right?
 MissLioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 91 (view)
 
Too Sensitive?
Posted: 11/5/2007 11:03:06 PM
Hello Ms Flis

Thanks for your post.

[but if they are truly that important to him, shouldn't he have ascertained her state of geographical knowledge much earlier on?]

Hehe, yes....perhaps a sit-down all-subject quiz should have been the order of the day on our first date. He could have given me a grade and be done with it!

[she makes sure to ask a few questions regarding politics before she ever goes out with a guy. I like men who share my love for reading and literature]

It just goes to show that the issue probably isn't intelligence, which in itself is hard to define, but the matter of common interests. I'm clearly ingorant about where exactly India is (this is getting boring, isn't it!) but I know how to drive a manual car (stick-shift in U.S.) when so many others in my age group would shudder at the thought.

Thanks Ms Flis....it's great to get a bit of much-needed perspective!

To everyone else, the boring little sod has been 'kicked to the curb'....that's yesterday's news.
 MissLioness75
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 90 (view)
 
Too Sensitive?
Posted: 11/5/2007 10:34:04 PM
[How you feel, is how you feel. You have every right to every feeling you have. The important issue is how you conduct yourself - how you act when you have a feeling]

Thank you Choirdiva!

This is great advice, as well as everything else you said in your post! So simple but so true and wise. How I conduct myself when I have that feeling is the key thing (and trusting what I feel)!

Thanks again!
 
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