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nicosuave83

Joined: 9/5/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

hunting joke Posted: 12/3/2008 9:34:43 AM
LMAO, the part with the rabbit scared the crap out of my little sister. She looked up at my dad and asked, "Rabbits arent really like that are they? Cuz we have them in our yard."

nicosuave83

Joined: 9/5/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Who are your favorite stand up comedians? Posted: 12/3/2008 9:23:14 AM
Another for Mitch Hedburg. I also like John Pinette, Brian Regan, Jeff Dunham, Gabriel Iglesias, and a hell of a lot of others, lol. I love stand up.

nicosuave83

Joined: 9/5/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Funny pick up lines Posted: 8/5/2008 7:18:33 PM
You look like my 3rd wife. Oh? How many times have you been married? Twice.

nicosuave83

Joined: 9/5/2007

Msg: 354 (view)

Worst thing that has ever happened during sex??? Posted: 6/23/2008 9:54:56 PM
I had been talking to this woman for a couple months online. She lived on the other side of the state, so finally I decided to bite the bullet and go see her. I got in late Friday night and had the most amazing sex of my life. She woke me up saturday morning in that special way, if you know what i mean. I get up, bend her over, and we start going at it again. Then the bedroom door opens and there is a 7 year old girl and 4 year old boy just standing there. She failed to mention she had children, and they were in bed by the time I got there. So we just stop midstroke, like deer in the headlights. The little girl looked up at me and said, and this is a direct quote, "Are you m new daddy? I've always wanted a daddy" I have never felt like a bigger ***hole than I did right then. I got dressed, had a talk with the woman, and headed back for home. I havent spoken with her since. And just to clarify, I dont mind kids, I want some of my own someday, but it was the deceit of not telling me she had any after 3 months of chatting.

nicosuave83

Joined: 9/5/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

MEN...MEN...MEN Posted: 6/3/2008 8:33:12 PM
^^^ You forgot one Women are like fire... Occasionally they get out of hand and burn your house down, lol

nicosuave83

Joined: 9/5/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Blond joke - That's it, here is the proof! Posted: 6/2/2008 3:50:14 PM
A blonde woman inherited a farm when her uncle died. She was mournful because of the loss, but admittedly excited as well, because with the farm came two horses, something she had always wanted. She got settled in, but was upset because she couldnt tell which horse was which. Determined to figure it out she went to the next farm over to ask for advice. The farmer suggested she put a notch in one's ear so she should tell them apart that way. That worked fine until the other notched its own ear when it got tangled in some razor wire. Facing the same dilema again, she went back to the farmer. This time he suggested she cut the tail of one. That worked until the other horse got caught up in a thorn bush. Well she had had it, she needed a sure fire permanent way to tell these two horses apart. So she went to the farmer again. The farmer thought for a minute, then told her to measure the height of the horses. She got a tape measure out and measured those horses and found out the white one was a foot taller than the black one.

NICOSUAVE83

Joined: 9/5/2007

Msg: 84 (view)

Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny Posted: 6/2/2008 11:04:30 AM
A skeleton walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Give me a beer and a mop"

NICOSUAVE83

Joined: 9/5/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Getting Drunk and making an ass of yourself Posted: 6/2/2008 10:53:18 AM
The first time I ever got drunk, I had to visit my cousin who was going to Mizzou. I got in about 9 friday night, and we headed off to one of his buddies house for a party. Being as i had never drank before, I didnt know what was good, so I had my cousin make me something. I had 4 rum and cokes 60% rum, a shot of Jim Beam, and a Budweiser. After that it all got fuzzy. I remember finishing that last beer, sitting at the table, then next thing i know I'm leaning over the deck in the back yard puking while some guys in my face laughing, "I told you man, you drank to much, haha." Then I was magically teleported to the lawn where I decided to pass out. I woke the next morning upside down, pants off, in a recliner in the kitchen that wasnt there when we got there. After realizing I wasnt still drunk, I was just blind, i proceeded to look for my glasses, which I later found (Only God knows how) under the deck, with the lenses out of the frame. Leaving that morning was painful, as everybody was laughing and giving me a hard time, and they still do to this day. Not real bad, but its the most embarassed I've ever been. Coincidentally, that was also the LAST time I had rum an coke, lol

NICOSUAVE83

Joined: 9/5/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Men...are you under the age of 35? Read this please! Posted: 6/2/2008 8:27:58 AM
I check every time i get the chance, lol. Seriously, though, this stuff is serious. You do't think about younger guys geting it, but my buddy's 16 year old son was just diagnosed. It has definately made me more aware and on the lookout for such things.

NICOSUAVE83

Joined: 9/5/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Is it wise to not date your type? Posted: 5/29/2008 1:42:39 PM
I was watching a comedy the other day, and they touched on the same thing. Girl not sure if she wants to date someone so different. One of the guys tells her about an experiment where A cat was placed in a box with some ood and some rat poison. The reasoning being that the cat was dead AND alive while no one could see it. As soon as the box was opened, it was clear cut. The point was, the relationship may or may not work, the only way you'll truly know is if you give it a go. If you like the guy, go for it. You say you know he's the one for you, so get him. p.s. the show was the Big Bang Theory on CBS, awesome show.

nicosuave83

Joined: 9/5/2007

Msg: 58 (view)

WTH Is this going too far to get more dates? Posted: 10/20/2007 10:26:24 PM
I saw a scalp transplant on a "Simpson's Treehouse of Horror." Didn't work out too well for Homer as I recall

nicosuave83

Joined: 9/5/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

A little guidance, please Posted: 10/14/2007 8:38:27 PM
Cool, thanks, guys.

nicosuave83

Joined: 9/5/2007

Msg: 73 (view)

Everyone in the KC area - say hi! Posted: 10/14/2007 7:47:41 PM
Raytown here. Whats up, y'all?

nicosuave83

Joined: 9/5/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

A little guidance, please Posted: 10/14/2007 7:22:46 PM
Hi, everybody. My name is Nick and I am bit new to online dating. I was wondering if I get some feedback on my profile. I know I am need of more pics, but I'd really like to know how my "about me" section comes across. Thanks guys and gals!

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