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 Author Thread: Question for guys
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Question for guys
Posted: 7/17/2009 3:39:18 AM
My reason for living - apart from my kids - is the moment. I'd essentially like to achieve everything I possibly can before I die. If I haven't seen, done and achieved everything, I've achieved nothing.
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
THIS GUY STOP TALKING TO ME
Posted: 7/17/2009 3:36:08 AM
Wow. Just wow. I genuinely sympathise with the guy. He had a real lucky escape here.

No offence, love, but you're a tad nutso even for my tastes, and my dating history involves a girl that was into body mods. I suggest you take the bunny out of the pot and go seek help.
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 38 (view)
 
What ALL Men Want...
Posted: 7/16/2009 3:34:27 PM
If I ever meet a woman who meets all of those requirements, I'm probably going to do the following:

* Pinch myself to make sure she's real
* Be happy in the knowledge that they exist
* Walk away knowing I'm well out of my depth.

See, not all men are looking for all those things, but that is the ideal for most.

Personally, I'm looking for a girl with low enough standards to find me attractive, though preferably with no guide dog, because I'm scared of dogs. They'll also need to be ridiculously easy to make laugh, because I'm really not as funny as I claim to be. Except at work, where I have to be to get paid. She must also look like Teri Hatcher did ten-fifteen years ago.

If anyone knows a woman meeting that description, send them my way... LOL
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Fiduciary requisites in the recession?
Posted: 7/13/2009 9:37:03 AM
Not having a job is going to make it harder, but it's not all the difference. I have steady employment - I'm a full-time marketing consultant, part-time barman, part-time comedian, part-time wrestling promoter (Ask ye not...) so I have a fairly stable income and make a pretty good living.

Turns out women are into more than money.

Then again, maybe you're out of a job because of guys like me, who simultaneously hold several.
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
best way to approach a girl?
Posted: 7/11/2009 6:24:32 AM
Jim, that only works if you have a spare shirt, 3 sizes to small to offer her to wear.


Worked for me once when I was still had the muscular thing going for me. Except I didn't throw the drink on her on purpose, I tripped. I gave her my shirt, she gave me her number. Good times!

Although, obviously, I didn't scream at her. That'd be weird...
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
She's religious, I'm not. How do you balance this??
Posted: 7/11/2009 6:13:40 AM
Wow, so much negativity in this thread.

Religion doesn't have to be an obstacle as long as you have enough respect and love for each other to respect each others beliefs. She's religious, wants to go to church Sunday morning? Great. That's her time to get out the house and relax. That means you can spend Sunday morning the way God truly intended: With a cup of coffee, CNN, a full English breakfast and the sports section. EVERYBODY wins!

Seriously, it can totally work out as long as you can respect each other's beliefs. I have a couple of friends who have the same problem and it works perfectly for them. They've been together 7 years, they're getting married soon (They compromised: By a vicar, but at Anfield) and while she's at church on Sunday morning, we meet up for a couple of pints at the pub and wait for her to come meet him afterwards.

I mean, it might become a slight issue if you ever have kids, but that's a long way off (Hopefully) and you'll have a nice balance by then. And if in doubt, the line 'Let them decide what they want for themselves when they're older' is your friend.

Either way bro, you've got a good thing going. Why let something as petty as religion ruin things? You're making too much out of this, IMO.

Think of it as being like the middle east: Sure, there were always the occasional arguments about petty things, but there was never this explosive powder keg until the UN created Israel.

That's what you're doing dude. You're making Israel and there's no need for it.
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Why do women hate my children?
Posted: 7/10/2009 4:57:00 AM
Thanks girls, I'm going to run through and answer some things :)


I don't think it's the kids.
It's an excuse, unless your kids are little demons.

Lame is in your name for some reason. Why?
Sorry, but your profile is a bit unmanly to say the least.


My kids aren't demons. They're toddlers. Trouble is there's rarely a difference at that age!

And I know I'm not an alpha male kinda guy in the 'I'm going to build stuff, cut down trees, drink beer and watch sports in my underwear kinda way' - I'm no Al Bundy.

I mean, I can do that stuff, but that's stuff I do, not the person I am. I have an unhealthy love of cooking and shopping - you'd think that'd be a desirable quality in a guy!


A majority of women today see a male under 25 or 30, divorced and with kids, as a loser.
Most women today are career minded, seeking higher education. They don't have time for some other womans children.


I'm not divorced, it just didn't work out. But I get what you're saying. I'm also not a full-time father, though I'm not sure how to make that clear on my profile. And I have a career - three actually - and a university education so I completely understand the career woman. I even support it.


It's probably the same reason why many men don't want to date woment with children. I think people with kids should look for other people with kids.... they can relate to each other's situations better... just my 2 cents.


Isn't there something creepy about a guy looking specifically for a woman with kids?


I'm not saying this is the case here but.....I once tried dating a man with kids ( I love kids and have 2 of my own). Whenever daddy wasnt looking, the oldest used to give me real "eat sh*t and die" looks and was a little swine to my son. Naturally, things got a bit uncomfortable and we didnt see each other for long lol. Shame cus the guy was great and his kids were lovely apart from that.


My kids aren't old enough to object to anyone I date and, chances are, wouldn't even meet them until I was in a secure relationship because I know what that situation is like. I went through it myself as a kid - a different person in your parent't life every week will mess you up.


You're only 24. Most women your age aren't looking to have their own children yet, let alone someone else's children. Try to find another young person with children.


I appreciate that most women my age aren't looking to have children, but I'm not looking for a mother to my kids. And I'm still not ruling out people who have children already. I've even been rejected by them for having kids of my own!


They don't hate your kids...

You're under 30 with more than 1 kid...THAT'S the deal breaker. They're thinking that you can't keep it zipped OR that your kids are going to always come first. OR that you might have baby mama drama...a huge flag. A younger woman might not be able to deal with that.


See, that makes sense to me and it's more or less what I assumed. Do I explain the situation in my profile somehow?

I mean, I really have no drama, nor any problem keeping it zipped. They both have the same mother and we're still on good terms, but we're distinctly just friends. No drama.


You're not assumed as a player. However...if you've never been married and have 2 kids...yeah they wonder why you're not using protection, where's the kids' mother...all of that.


Again, thsi I get. I was engaged to their mother, we just never got married for reasons that are ridiculously complicated. And as for using contraception, both kids were accidents (In the best possible way, of course) - Durex need to use stronger rubber! LOL.


Don't blame the kids. Realize that many women don't date because of their kids--I have a really good friend who's in her 30's with one son. Her ex-douchbag husband won't take his son regularly so she's given up dating--she said until her son is old enough to be on his own, she's acknowledged that maybe her needs will have to wait.

Sucks don't it? But maybe if you've got full custody of your kids---you may need to put your dating on the backburner until you can find a woman who understands.


I'm not blaming my kids at all. But I don't have full custody of the kids, so that's not a problem. I actually have more than enough time for a relationship and kids, as I only see my kids a few times a year.

And no, not because I'm a bad father; it's because of geography issues. I talk to my kids at least once a week on the phone.


It really is not the kids that are a dealbreaker (unless you happen to meet a woman who abhors children), but the excess baggage (ie the Mother Factor, the I am not gong to be numero uno, and oh man he is introducing me to the kids!). I had a boyfriend who had kids, and his kid and I had no problems (still don't). It is hard when the relationship does not work because the kid may have invested time into it, too. You always have to be thinking about both the lady in your life and the child.


I'm always considering both, hence why they'd never meet until the relationship is stable. It's a case of 'yes, I have kids. They aren't with me all the time, so they're not an immediate concern.'


Could be your screen name is turning them off. "chasinglamely", what's up with that?


I genuinely never considered it more than a screen name. It's a play on the name of one of my favourite movies, "Chasing Amy."

I've used it online for ages!
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Why do women hate my children?
Posted: 7/10/2009 3:25:44 AM
This has essentially come up through my experience on this site AND in real life. Why is it that whenever I meet a woman I like and everything else seems to click they see my kids as a deal-breaker? It happens almost every time!

Are women really that scared of dating a guy with kids? Why?

Is it some fear of being second-best? Do women hate kids with other children? Do they automatically assume 'player'?

I'd really love some insight into this from the lovely POF girls!
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
search / restrict users by children
Posted: 7/10/2009 3:21:30 AM
In a similar vein, however, and I was going to create a thread for this: Any chance of a profile option for 'will consider dating someone WITH kids?'

I have kids and my most common reply is essentially 'no, cos you have kids'
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
how easy is it 4 a guy 2 get jealous??
Posted: 7/10/2009 3:01:54 AM
LOL. I think she's pretty hot :) And the hot ones always are the most trouble.
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Can guys ever really be just friends with a girl?
Posted: 7/10/2009 2:46:26 AM
Loving the stereotype that straight guys just want sex. The vast majority of my friends, including my best friend, are female. And I'm talking 95% of my circle of friends when I say this.

You know how many of my friends I've slept with? One. And we were a couple for two and a half years before becoming 'just' friends.

And if I'm honest... we wouldn't even be friends if we didn't have kids together.

So yes, guys can have female friends - proper friends - without sleeping with them.

Hell, move closer and join the circle :)
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
how easy is it 4 a guy 2 get jealous??
Posted: 7/10/2009 2:39:12 AM
I blame you, personally. It's a weird, guy thing, I know. But you're a stunningly attractive woman, so any guy who's with you KNOWS everyone else is looking, and they know you'll always have a better option. So they get insecure and easier to make jealous.

Essentially, you either need the most perfect guy in the world (And I don't live local, sorry) or you just need to get used to it.
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
unbiased reviews needed!
Posted: 7/2/2009 12:48:53 PM

thanks.. its kinda hard thinking of all the stuff i do, and then putting it into a sentence for a profile. I have already tried this, and ended up just scrapping it all because it sounded long winded. Where to draw the line at too much info/not enough?

p.s kevin smith rocks


I'd like to think I have the balance right in mine, feel free to use it as a guide if you like :)

And yeah, KS rocks. Obviously, it's where the username comes from. I have a weird habit of unwittingly attempting to chat up lesbians. ;)
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
critiques solicited please
Posted: 7/1/2009 5:22:56 PM
The only major critique I can make right now is to drop the line about hating religious country music. We almost all hate religious country, but the minority who love it could include the guy you're looking for.

In fact, it probably will. Murphy's law. Luckily CDs of bad music will burn with a little lighter fluid, so it's not a huge problem. Is it?
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
unbiased reviews needed!
Posted: 7/1/2009 5:18:42 PM
Hey :)

So where to start... Your pictures are pretty good, but the main one is weird. It looks like you were startled by the camera flash, but that's probably nothing major.

Your profile doesn't say much about you as a person. Yeah, you like some decent bands, but what else do you do? Cooking, etc. is all good, but you really need to sell yourself. The girl of your dreams is gonna love you for your personality, not your hobbies or your CD collection, which I'd wager is only a small part of who you are.

Your age will count against you, or so I'm told. In our age group there are more guys than girls and they get real picky, unfortunately.

I'd caption the photographs too. The one of you and your mate looks like it was taken on a fun night out. Why not explain what was going on?

On the positive side, you come from my favourite city in the whole world, so that's gotta count in your favour. Some beautiful girls in the Calgary area.

Will try and add more if I get time.

Happy fishing bro.
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Profile review please!
Posted: 7/1/2009 1:20:58 PM
You seem unnecassarily and creepily attached to you dog, IMO. You really only need to post the one pic of you and your dog because nobody is looking to date the dog. I hope. LOL.

Seriously, I'd lose the main profile pic (You're way too close to the dog in it and you can hardly see your face) and the pic of you making out with the dog. Maybe the other one with the dog, too. I mean, one pic of you playing with the dog would be enough, but make sure it's playing with the dog, not hugging or kissing the dog.

Just my two cents.
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
When is our Bait (profile) all soggy and stale in the Fish Pond?
Posted: 7/1/2009 12:03:10 PM
I expect mine will change regularly because I'm still 'young' (Ish) and perhaps haven't completely 'found myself' yet, so my personality, lifestyle, interests are all changeable I guess.

That said, the only reason I'd give it a rewrite now is if I felt like it didn't represent who I am anymore.
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
For girls dating another girl....
Posted: 7/1/2009 11:54:28 AM

exactly. I dont have a problem with someone thats gay and is who they are. But for these girls that bounce back and forth from guy to girl,then girl to guy? give me a ****in break,thats not how it works,and thats not how it should work.


Really? So you don't believe in the concept of bisexuality? Because you'll find that statistically something around 85% of people are bisexual, even if just a tiny bit. Very few are 100% one way or the other.

For example, there aren't many women I know, gay, straight or otherwise that wouldn't sleep with Angelina Jolie. Likewise, I know one guy who fits the 'straightest guy on Earth' stereotype but he freely admits he'd sleep with David Duchovny.

Weird, but true.
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
any advice anyone... sent messages all read, but no replies, is my profile letting me down?
Posted: 7/1/2009 11:37:55 AM
In fairness, with women our age it doesn't matter what you write. If you don't look like Brad Pitt (Or whoever they're into this week) you're not getting a reply. I'm in the same boat, every message I send gets read but no replies.

I'm not a horrible person... am I?
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Profile review plz help
Posted: 7/1/2009 3:50:48 AM
Well, as a first impression... you need to tidy up your profile because it's barely readable. If I get more time, or you're lucky enough that someone comes along before I get a chance, I'll rewrite it for you and post it here for you to select from.

Also, it gives the wrong impression right off the bat when you can't spell the name of your profession correctly. It should be 'international industry' which raises the question... What exactly do you do for a living? There are many international industries: Import/Export, holiday rep, arms dealer, drug trafficker, oil... you could be in any of those.

Will add more when I get chance to really think it through. I just woke up!
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Inbox Question
Posted: 6/29/2009 5:50:29 PM
If their inbox was full, how did they know you wanted to contact them in order to tell you it was full?

Agreed with Yankee, though. I never get new messages, let alone enough to get a 'full' inbox!
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Please review my profile
Posted: 6/29/2009 5:12:52 AM
I can't really criticise too much here, but just break everything up into paragraphs and elaborate on everything and you should be fine.
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
a mans point of view...
Posted: 6/29/2009 5:08:28 AM
The first thing you need to do is tidy up the profile. Too many sentences starting with 'I' - try to group together things that are similar, then write a full paragraph about all of them. And having a crush on a celebrity shouldn't be in your profile, because any potential match will measure themselves against him, and you might lose the perfect guy because he doesn't think he measures up.

I'd also lose 'I sleep like it's my job' because it makes you sound lazy, and 'chocolate milk is my cure for hangovers' will make you sound like a drunk to some, no matter how cute I found that line :)
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
POFers! Do Your Worst!
Posted: 6/29/2009 4:37:46 AM
The biggest problem you're going to face is that guys, in general, are superficial ***holes. They either want a stick figure or they don't, but will look for one because they want to impress their friends. Sad, but true.

That said, I actually read your profile and you do seem like a pretty great girl. If you weren't an ocean away, I'd definitely be interested in taking you out for a drink. Unfortunately, most guys are intimidated by a girl who enjoys powerlifting and physical sports. My ex was a fitness model/bodybuilder, so it's never been a problem for me, but I know from experience that people aren't always into that.

Your profile made me laugh, too. I actually do know Eddie Izzard! He's a friend of a friend but I used to see him socially quite a lot before he got hell-bent on cracking the States.

Anyway, eventually someone is going to actually take the time to find out more about you and when that time comes, you're going to blow them away. And I genuinely think that guy will get a great catch for himself.

Good luck!
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Why aren't guys responding to my profile?
Posted: 6/29/2009 2:37:40 AM
I'd say keep the dogs ONLY if they're massively important to you. For example, you're a great-looking girl, your profile would hook my interest but I have a HUGE phobia of dogs because I got attacked several times as a child... So I'd pass you up because a dog is a deal breaker for me.
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Why is our ability to cook/clean so important to men?
Posted: 6/28/2009 1:20:09 PM
I hate guys with that attitude, makes us all look bad. I can cook - I'm a trained chef - and you don't need a degree to tidy up a little. If domestic abilities are more important to you than the personality of the girl you're dating then frankly it's time to wake up, smell the coffee and walk out into the 21st century. It's lovely out here.
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
For girls dating another girl....
Posted: 6/28/2009 1:16:54 PM
I'm agreeing with Azalea here. Yes, I'm a guy and you don't want me to reply, but since my entire circle of friends are lesbians (Okay, not all, but about 95% of them) I'm a lesbian-by-proxy. Ish.

If there's one thing a gay girl hates it's being a straight girl's rebound/back-up plan/experiment. You're not straight, you're bi-curious. Which is hugely different and you need to own that.

Now, admittedly, most of my gay friends would have no issues with 'turning you' but they'd rather you were just honest.

Anyway, I ran my eye over you and your profile and, honestly, most of my friends would be proud to date you just as long as you took it seriously.
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Critiques welcome
Posted: 6/28/2009 12:47:35 PM
I will do, thank you for all your great advice!
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Critiques welcome
Posted: 6/28/2009 12:08:17 PM
Yes! That's excellent, thank you!

Made the changes you suggested, some verbatim, some with modifications. Is it any better now?
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Critiques welcome
Posted: 6/28/2009 10:59:59 AM
Have done all the updates I can for now, following everyone's suggestions. Is 15 interests too many?
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Is my profile appealing?? why or why not!!
Posted: 6/28/2009 10:18:37 AM
Honestly, apart from 'tell me more' there's nothing wrong with it. Honestly, if I lived near you (Or even on the same continent) you'd be exactly the kinda girl I'd go for. I'd just want to know more, more, more before I'd message you.
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Opinions?
Posted: 6/28/2009 9:44:31 AM
Okay, the only criticism I can really make is tidy up the layout a little, but also ADD MORE! I read what you'd written and found myself wanting to know more about you.

The pictures are fine, certainly fun and non-librarianly. Is that a word? Anyway, you're a beautiful girl, so that's not a problem.

In terms of content, like I said, just write more. Don't mention the serial killer bit, as funny as it is, it's a little off-putting. Makes it sound like you've been stalked and expect to attract psychos. Ergo, if I'm messaging you, I'd feel like a psycho myself. See? LOL.

Also, personally, I'd drop the 'see what you look like with your shirt off' line. While you're clearly an intelligent girl, this makes you sound shallow and even guys with 'hot bodies' get put off by that. I used to be one once and I'll tell you honestly there's nothing worse than a woman who is only interested in how you look. Sure, it's nice that she likes that, but that should be entirely secondary, IMO.

Accentuate your hobbies, too. You love to cook, but anything specific? Do you make the world's greatest tagliatelle carbonara? If so, tell people! Do you cook Italian, French, Chinese? That'd be cool info.

Anyway, that'll do for now, right? Will check back later and see if I can add more.
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Critiques welcome
Posted: 6/28/2009 9:30:25 AM
Thanks for the advice folks. Will get a body shot done, there'll be a photographer at one of my gis next week who'll get alovely shot of me on stage in my suit :)

Have lost the first line. Smoking... I smoke socially, so should I just change it to 'no'? Thought honesty was the better policy here.

Wrote about the kids, plus what I'm looking for in a woman... well, that was already in there, but I suppose I could say a little more.

I'm trying to up the humour, which should come easily.

Would appreciate a re-evaluation if people can. And preferably not from Libra, since he seems to entirely lack depth.
 chasinglamely
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Critiques welcome
Posted: 6/28/2009 7:05:55 AM
Hi,

So I've been on here about two years with zero success. Recently updated the profile and picture but still getting no joy. Don't suppose anyone would be willing to have a look and maybe tell me what they think I'm doing wrong?

Thanks,

Kriss
 
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