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Thread: ~Corks London Speed dating night Pics and Comments Sat Sep 19th~

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

~Corks London Speed dating night Pics and Comments Sat Sep 19th~ Posted: 9/24/2009 12:34:00 PM
Hi Hams, I expect more people will post when the pics are up. Sorry I didn't make it on Saturday, sounds like I missed a really good night. I was a bit disappointed to find I was too old for the speed dating but I did intend to come anyway. 53 people took part? Hang on, summat wrong there surely, did one person have to date themself, lol?

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 35 (view)

Why do so many women on this site ignore me? Posted: 12/15/2008 1:37:45 PM
Well if this is the new profile the old one must have been non-existent lol Women on this site ignore you because you are obsessed with cars, they appear to be your only interest in life, and most women aren't that much interested in cars. Going on a date with you would be really boring because you would just talk about cars all the time. No? Well that's the impression a woman gets from reading your profile. Or you could do an Interest Search for cars and if you get any hits those are the women you should write to. Oh sorry you do have one other interest listed, but as you don't say what kind of music it is not much help. Don't start your About Me section with your height and hair colour - these details are already given in the designated fields at the top of your profile. You need some more pics, especially a full body shot - there are too many bbw's on this site describing themselves as 'average' for anyone to take your word for it. You could come up with a snappier headline too but it's no more lame than most others on this site so not to worry. Oh and btw, bashing the people who are trying to help you is not going to look good on your profile either.

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

I've tried for a while.... Posted: 9/25/2008 4:49:43 AM
If all you're getting is unread/deleted or even read/deleted then you are probably writing to the small percentage of women who get dozens of emails every day, i.e. the 'tens'. The majority of us, who get just a few emails a week, are much more likely to reply to every one. Many men send out dull generic messages of the "hi, how are you, like your profile, wanna chat" variety. Most messages simply have "hi" or "how are you" as the subject header. Even I can barely be bothered to respond to those messages, so imagine an inbox filled with messages like that on a daily basis. I don't know what sort of messages you are sending, but if it looks like a copy and paste job it is unlikely to get a reply. A message that is interesting and personal to the woman you are writing to is more likely to get a positive response. I don't write many first contact emails but when I do I have always got a positive response - so if i can do it it can't be that hard. You might find it interesting to do a search for men of your age in your area to see what your competition is like (you will have to log out first). You could also check out the "No Emails" option at the top of the screen which will give you a list of women in your area who have not received any emails today and so presumably would be more likely to respond.

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Ex-virgin clubbing fears Posted: 8/23/2008 7:15:58 AM
OP, if you can't learn to trust your girlfriend when she is not with you, you will lose her. It will soon become apparent to her that you do not trust her, and people can only stand so much of this treatment before they want to escape from all the suspicion and mistrust. You say she goes clubbing less since you have been dating. Presumably because she doesn't feel the need and would rather spend time with you. But you see it as a negative - thinking she must not trust herself with other men! Even the fact that she was a virgin before you two met, you see as a negative. Yes she loves sex - with YOU. You better start believing that she cares about you and wants to be with you or you will drive her away. I have been in this situation where I have been mistrusted without any cause whatsoever, and it sucks, big time!

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 872 (view)

If someone emails you with misspelled words and bad grammar, do you respond? Posted: 8/23/2008 3:54:17 AM
I'll take common sense and wisdom over grammer and spelling anyday of the week. Good for you. Me too. In fact I've decided to include more slang and txtspk in my messages just to weed out the ones with a poker up the fundament! Ur da man, Just me919. (Btw, you spelt 'grammar' wrong. lol!) Your grammar, syntax, and punctuation ain't too hot either. I'd bet your spelling isn't perfect. To whom is this addressed? The OP hasn't visited this thread since 19 November 07.

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 860 (view)

If someone emails you with misspelled words and bad grammar, do you respond? Posted: 8/22/2008 7:29:02 AM
Of course I respond! I reply to all my emails (well except the ones that just say "hi, wanna chat"!). I don't judge people on their typing skills - many men type with two fingers only so they must find it hard to type accurately. Some people are dyslexic (did I spell that right?). Typing, spelling and grammar are not indicators of intellect - it is the content of the message that I am interested in. As long as he has something interesting to say, I don't care how bad the typing is. I admit I am probably a bit anal about the accuracy of my own typing. That is because I used to type Wills for a living and if I made a single mistake I had to start all over again (no corrections allowed in a Last Will and Testament).

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 45 (view)

London event at Corks Wine bar 26th July 08 Images and comments thread Posted: 8/4/2008 7:26:47 AM
Thank you, Jack, I tried to send you a private message but wasn't allowed - I must be too old! Love your profile, btw - if you can't get dates with that then there's no hope for any of us! I really don't get out enough and I need more practice, so I'm going to sign up for the masquerade ball - do you still need DJs? My friend has just put his profile on POF and he says he would love the chance to do some deejaying again.

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 67 (view)

How Long after the first meet should you say if your interested in that person or not? Posted: 8/1/2008 7:36:45 AM
OP, texting him the first time was ok, but you should have left it at that and waited for him to make the next move. Instead you kept bombarding him with messages so you came across as needy and desperate and you scared him off. You didn't give him a chance to decide in his own time if he wanted to see you again. You say you don't chase men - well, if what you did isn't chasing then I don't know what is! When you back someone into a corner like that they will just want to run away, regardless of how good they initially felt about the date. Next time, don't try to force things forward - just back off and let him decide when he wants to call and arrange another date. Then if you didn't hear from him by the end of the week, you could ask him if he was still interested in meeting again, although some guys are cowards and will just keep giving you bs and never tell you straight that they are no longer interested.

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

London event at Corks Wine bar 26th July 08 Images and comments thread Posted: 8/1/2008 7:30:41 AM
Well I did enjoy myself in the end although this party was something of a curate's egg for me - 'good in parts'. The good parts were thanks to some friendly good-hearted people that I met. However there were those who deemed it necessary to put me down, label me, and make me feel more uncomfortable than I was already. In particular, the two guys who saw me come in, nudged each other, whispered and laughed at me - well I may be shy but i do have a backbone, and I'm proud of myself for not turning round and walking right back out again. However, I extend a sincere apology to anyone who approached me and didn't get much encouragement because I was getting wary and starting to feel picked on. Thank you to the DJs for their sterling work - there was a good mix of styles to cater for all tastes, but maybe a few more reggae tunes next time? I particularly enjoyed dancing to 'Killer' by Seal and would be pleased if that was a fixture on the playlist.

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 45 (view)

does how someone kiss make a difference Posted: 8/1/2008 6:53:35 AM
I don't give up on a man just because he is hopeless at kissing - I teach him to do it better! When one man kissed me, a large object was thrust into my mouth nearly choking me, and I pulled away in shock. Then I kissed him the way I like to be kissed, and he soon learnt to kiss properly.

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 41 (view)

Do guys view the Visuals & skim over the Verbal? Posted: 8/1/2008 6:37:45 AM
I find it doesn't make much difference whether I have pics up or not. The only time I didn't get messages was when I hadn't logged onto POF for a few months. As soon as i logged on again i started to get messages again, although my pics were still hidden.

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

Why Men Don't Write Long First Msg's Posted: 7/9/2008 10:57:32 AM
I think you're being a little harsh, indy. Maybe she is tired of wading through an inbox full of emails like that, probably attached to inadequate profiles. I've had a few of those too, not that I get so many emails I'd want to discourage anyone, lol. Also, she does say "just trying to help a dude out when he emails the next girl", so could it be that her kind heart is prompting her to give helpful advice? Just a thought.

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 34 (view)

Why Men Don't Write Long First Msg's Posted: 7/9/2008 9:56:06 AM
p.s. GUYS WRITE MORE ON YOUR PROFILE (women do read it) and SMILE MORE. Oh yes! A smile is worth a thousand words. Love your profile Baldy, but yours is the exception - most men's profiles are woefully inadequate and there is nothing in them to comment on.

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

Why Men Don't Write Long First Msg's Posted: 7/9/2008 9:35:18 AM
Also asking something completely random is good That's a great idea Mike - give us something to reply to, at least! Sometimes I am completely stuck for anything to say in reply, and I do try to reply to all emails whether I am interested or not. I don't want anyone to write me a novel either! It would be a waste of time to expend too much effort on a first contact email when you don't even know if the woman is going to be interested in you or not. I would like some evidence that I am not just part of a mail-shot though - generic emails do not impress me. Comment on something in my profile (to show you actually read it!), ask a question (I will probably reply quicker if I have something to reply to) ..... and that's it really - a few sentences is all you need. Definitely don't put your phone number in your first message - that looks really desperate and I am sure I am not the only woman who is completely turned off by that.

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Why do men stand women up with no call or apology? Posted: 7/7/2008 1:51:27 PM
He had my # but I did not have his Why not? Suppose you needed to cancel? Next time make sure you have the man's number, and ring him on it, before you arrange to meet him.

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

Theme nights/Fancy dress at POF events..Good or bad thing? Posted: 7/5/2008 5:00:56 AM
It rather depends who the PoF events are for. If they are for the regulars to meet up with their friends and have fun then I suppose my opinion doesn't matter. If they are for new members to meet people then I think fancy dress is a bad idea as it definitely has put me off from attending events. On the rare occasions when I get a chance to dress up, I want to wear some of the nice clothes in my wardrobe that rarely if ever get seen. It is unnerving enough to go to an event on my own where I don't know anyone, without the added embarrassment of wearing fancy dress. Perhaps fancy dress events could be alternated with non fancy dress to keep everyone happy. An event was mentioned where the only requirement was to wear blue, and I could go along with that.

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Greenwich park event pics and comments thread Posted: 7/5/2008 4:18:59 AM
shame on the ones that didnt bother to show! you could have taken your name off the sign up page, cheers for that. I did show, but I could not see the fish balloon anywhere so I dithered and lost my bottle. If I had seen the fish balloon on arrival, maybe I would have been able to come over straight away before I thought about it too much, although I did not anticipate how hard it would be to walk towards a large group of people that I did not know even after I was 99.9% sure I had found the right group. I know someone else who did not find the fish balloon and went home again. Later I overheard two women talking about how they had not found their party, and I suspect they were also PoF members as they mentioned a balloon. Peerhaps the other people who "didn't bother to show" were in the same boat.

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 35 (view)

DOES GOOGLE LIE? Posted: 11/17/2007 2:59:38 PM
Well I had to google myself after I read this thread. I was surprised to find there is another skylark42 posting in various forums. The ones I looked at seemed innocuous so I' m not too bothered. I use different screen names on other sites, so anything by skylark42 not relating to PoF isn't me!

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Profile Feedback Posted: 10/10/2007 12:08:54 PM
People don't like to read long paragraphs, so break it up a bit. I will take cheerupemokid's word for it that it is fine apart from that.

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Please.... a profile review if you please. Posted: 10/9/2007 8:07:23 AM
I couldn't face reading your profile because the paragraphs are way too long! Corbin Dallas has told you what is wrong with it anyway so I'll leave that. One thing I noticed: for Body Type you have got "Prefer Not to Say". I immediately think "Uh oh, must be overweight". The experts say you should never put "Prefer Not to Say" because people will assume the worst. You have got the same thing by "Wants Children?" - put "undecided/open" if you are not sure. Put some more stuff under Interests as well - they say 10 is about the optimum number of things.

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Please review my profile Posted: 10/9/2007 7:48:08 AM
I agree with worldsworstdater - ditch all the negative stuff about lying and cheating. It doesn't sound good. Some of your photos are not very flattering - I would ditch nos. 2 and 3. You need a lot more stuff in the Interests section - things you would do with a girlfriend. You don't want to go to a movie on a first date because you want to be able to talk and get to know her. Personally (though I don't think I am alone in this) I don't like reading long paragraphs - break it up a bit and vary the paragraph length. Hope this helps.

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

about to give up, its suggested a profile review so give it a go Posted: 10/9/2007 7:15:05 AM
I agree with everything beckylee says (except I don't think she's a jerk!). There is nothing in your profile to appeal to a woman. Sounds like you spend most of your time playing rugby and hanging out with the guys. You need a lot more stuff in the 'Interests' box - things that you would do with a girlfriend. Also, you haven't put anything in the First Date box - I presume you WOULD take her on a date and not just expect her to watch you playing rugby! Get some more photos - your main pic needs to be a good clear head shot, looking straight at the camera and smiling. Have you seen how your pic looks when it is squashed into a square shape? Not good! You are 29 and you are a student - maybe elaborate a little on this?

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

I AM A NEWBIE NEED HONEST FEEDBACK ABOUT MY PROFILE PLEASE :) Posted: 10/8/2007 5:10:19 PM
First of all, your profile is typed in capital letters which is considered to be shouting! Your pics are lovely, but maybe you could get a better full length one. I didn't even know what BBW meant when I joined. It does seem odd that it says big and tall when height is covered elsewhere. I think Admin should change that. I'm even newer than you so I'd better leave it to others to comment further. Still, this should bring your thread back to the front of the queue!

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Thoughts please Posted: 10/7/2007 2:41:48 PM
I think you already know the answer - you need new pics! Have you seen how your main pic looks when it's squashed into a square shape? And that's what will come up in a search. The best pic is no. 5 - it shows great character and personality. The others are all rather similar and contradict your statement that you don't much like clubs and bars. Have some photos taken outdoors and include a full length portrait. I think it's really important to be able to see someone's eyes - I know the glasses get in the way - I have the same problem! Proof-read your profile:- there are some typos that need correcting - there is even one in your title. You need some more things in the Interests section. Look at other people's profiles - you may be reminded of some other things you are into. Hope this helps, and better luck soon.

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Could use a few pointers. Posted: 10/3/2007 8:01:36 AM
Great profile! But I agree - get a new main pic, looking straight at the camera and smiling. The other pic would be much better, but maybe it is not current? Now how to get more men to click on your pic rather than someone else? The other day I logged out and did a search for women my age and the result was revealing because only the first couple of lines of the 'About me' section appeared by each pic. I think you and I both need to make the first line more interesting so it grabs the attention and gets the clicks! Start with the second para - it makes a great opener. Btw, what does 'hang out' mean? Is it the same as 'dating'? Maybe it's because I'm English that I don't understand this expression - in which case ignore me!

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Profile Review please.... Posted: 10/3/2007 7:39:13 AM
I agree that you definitely need a new pic - smiling and looking straight at the camera so we can see your eyes. Outdoors is best to avoid 'redeye', and peferably when it is not too sunny. I noticed some repetition: you say 'open and honest' twice. You say 'not into games or players' and then in the next para 'no gamers please' - maybe you are stressing this too much. All the profile writing advice that I have read says it is better to say what you do want rather than what you don't. Another thought: maybe a snappier title would get the girl's attention? I like the quote at the end.

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Is there such a thing as being too funny? Posted: 10/3/2007 7:15:31 AM
This is a very entertaining and literate profile. Although I am not in your age group so probably not the right person to judge, I think probably it does need to be a bit more balanced between funny and serious. Perhaps you could add something more thoughtful under "What I am Looking For" to suggest that you are not looking just to have fun all the time. One other thing: you say you have dated many single parents. I think "many" might be too many! Like you are a serial dater who never learns! I would just take out that one word to make a better impression.

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 111 (view)

Scams from women on dating sites Posted: 10/2/2007 5:49:29 PM
I didn't think of checking the last letters of emails like .uk . Great idea . thanks. My email address ends .co.uk. Am I a scammer then?!

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Rate Images Posted: 9/23/2007 9:08:19 AM
I have not rated any images because I don't know what the criteria are. Do I rate the quality of the photograph, or the attractiveness of the subject?

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 196 (view)

Cheaters aren't necessarily evil? Posted: 9/22/2007 4:16:29 PM
I've never cheated on anyone. If the relationship I'm in isn't what I want, I leave. As far as I know I've never been cheated on either.

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Users who don't reply (read / deleted) Posted: 9/22/2007 3:07:55 PM
What a good idea, Simon. It would save me racking my brains to answer them. What DO you say to people in these circumstances? I don't want to be rude to anyone, but........ I really would be grateful for any advice on this subject.

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Advice to older incels (involuntary celibates) Posted: 9/22/2007 7:29:13 AM
Of course women want sex, swamp thing, but we don't want just sex as many men seem to do. We want it as part of a long term loving relationship, so if the subject of sex comes up too soon, it sets the alarm bells ringing.

Joined: 9/16/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Suggestions Posted: 9/18/2007 10:04:41 AM
I would have thought you could make a good guess at someone's level of education by the way they have written their profile. Just a thought. Do many people tell lies here? Should I be worried?

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