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swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 101 (view)

Emotionally Unavailable = Scared Posted: 9/9/2009 3:21:41 PM
I have no trouble whatsoever being emotionally available...I just don't remember how to be.Does anyone relate to that?Being in a monogamous relationship almost all my life with someone who was the poster child of emotional unavailability(or any other type of availability,for that matter)left me a little behind in the times. I gave so much in the 35 years I was married and finally had to give up.I wasn't going to change him,he was never going to want to love,or be loved.He totally wanted the physical relationship,but without the emotional part that women need so much. So,that leaves me with a world of love to give someone,but not sure how to go about giving it.I will admit that I am a little SCARED that I'll meet someone that was just like the one I had to leave.

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 472 (view)

Is red hot romance possible after 50? Posted: 8/6/2009 11:01:42 AM
YES YES YES!!!! I know that the feelings are still there,dormant,waiting to be teased a little.Hiding just far enough down to keep from emerging before the time is right.It's there,though....simmering, The right person that senses that it's there will know instinctively how to bring it out. Being over 50 is pretty irrelevant,unless you are physically incapable due to an accident,or illness.Otherwise you are what is known as "ripe" after 50.You've learned a few things,your body has learned all kinds of responses....it's all there. One of these days,just the right person will get the prize...............

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 66 (view)

Men over 50 what do you do? Posted: 6/26/2009 11:47:06 AM
Yes,caddboy,I just read an article that scientists have recommended several cups of green tea daily,they said NO CREAM OR MILK, that just destroys the therapeutic value of it.It's absolutely true!(according to scientific studies)

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Men over 50 what do you do? Posted: 6/23/2009 2:18:32 PM
Well,here I am discussing skin care in front of men...LOL. I have never really liked to use soap on my face.Whille I'm bathing ,I rinse my wash cloth with warm water and gently wash my face.But in between,I put cream on and tissue it off,then use a nice moisturizer.I increase the regime in the summer because I'm in the sun quite a lot.I love the beach,and the pool,so both could be murder if you're not careful. I have really good genetics,my grandmother is 92 and her skin is still beautiful,so is my Mom's at 74. Sometimes I complain that I might be getting wrinkles and my kids try to look on my face to see,but they say I don't.I guess I just remember what my face looked like at 16,22,32,42,now,52...lol. I don't fret over it,though.I just try to live healthy and live right,that makes a big difference.

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 132 (view)

Favorite romantic movie scene Posted: 5/10/2009 4:40:14 PM
Has anyone mentioned Al Pacino and Ellen Barkin in Sea of Love? The scene where she meets him in the grocery aisle late at night.She has on a long trenchcoat with nothing on underneath..they tease and play with each other,the camera cutting away to her face as his hand slipped up her thigh. Then,the other scene where he and she are in his apartment and he's ravishing her and she turns around and throws HIM against the wall...WHOO HOO!!

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Romance...or friends...with or without benefits? Posted: 5/9/2009 8:27:55 PM
I'm in agreement with a sydney male...Nothing compares...NOTHING to the pyysical intimacy between a man and a woman...if it's right,and everything sort of flows(and not in a tissue,ugh!)...then it's stupendous.....

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Full of You Posted: 5/9/2009 7:48:38 PM
Moon rising over the ocean.... Shimmers of magic atop the waters surface. Moon so close it seems to be able to swallow you up,body,soul,spirit,then return you in it's beams.... Laughing,skipping on the waves rolling in to the beach. A night like that is locked in time.... To remember is to relive. You filled me in such a way.The sun sparkled from eyes that adored you. The moon poured from lips that taste you still. My fingertips still trace an imaginary line,but come away empty,lost. Forever is just a whisper of time.

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 60 (view)

Letters to God Posted: 5/8/2009 10:58:12 AM
~~~~starwriter69~~~ LOL...I read the WHOLE thing!! It was very entertaining and well written. I don't undrestand why you would have any problem attracting a female,esp.if you can engage her in conversation. You're very articulate,and not in the least bit gay...lol. I'm very sorry you've had your heart broken,but you must realize that it can be used in a good way.You now know how NOT to break someone elses heart,right? ~~~~GOD~~~ Hello my very awesome Daddy!! It's me again,your very precocious child.Do you think you can intervene a little bit on the price of groceries down here? It's getting ridiculous!! I bought two very small tomatoes and they were almost 3 dollars! I think I might start growing my own this summer,but,then again,you know how bad the bugs are here in Florida.Everyone thinks it's just beach and fun in the sun down here but the bugs are ferocious and the mosquitoes monstrous.God ,keep them from attacking me when I least expect it,You know how much I hate them. And hey,You know the traffic problem,right? Well,in the summer down here,sitting in those long lines,waiting to get in Walmart,then once you get in the parking lot,NO spaces!! Help me get a space near the door,please? And Daddy,,,,you know about that divorce I prayed so long not to have to get? Well,as You well know,it's done and over with.Thirty six years...over.You know I truly loved that idiot,right? He was my world,my everything,my first,and so far,my last love. Maybe I loved him above You,and that wasn't so good...maybe my focus was on him way too much,and You were too far out of the picture.I know that I prayed to You all the time about that situation,but,I think I might have prayed for the wrong things.I probably should have let You in on that deal right from the start instead of trying to rule it all "my way"... anyway,it's been almost two years now..so,I think I might be ready to move on. This time,I'll let YOU pick someone...You're judgement is way better than mine.And,You know my heart better than anyone ever could.So,whatever you think is right,whoever You think would be good for me...at least let him know how to love.The last time around,I had someone that knew how to take love,and how to TAKE period,but didn't know how to reciprocate.I want to be loved someday...for who I am...And God,You know I'm pretty special,don't You? So,Dad,I'll go for now,but,I'll be back soon,You know I will....and Daddy,until someone comes around to love me.... I know that YOU do...and that's good enough for me.... I love You, Melinda

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

THOUGH YOU HURT ME SO.........thoughts appreciated Posted: 5/5/2009 4:57:38 PM
I don't know if anyone would agree,but,Bram Stokers Dracula is one of the greatest love stories written....Following is the Annie Lennox song..."Love Song For A Vampire". Such a great song for the movie....beautiful,poignant............... Come into these arms again And lay your body down The rhythm of this trembling heart It's beating like a drum It beats for you,it bleeds for you It knows not how it sounds For it is the drum of drums It is the song of songs Once I had the rarest rose That ever deigned to bloom Cruel winter chilled the bud And stole my flower too soon Oh loneliness Oh hopelessness To search the ends of time For there is in all the world No greater love than mine Love O love O love O love O love O love O love still falls the rain O love O love O love O love O love O love still falls the night Love O love O love O love O love O love O love be mine forever (be mine forever) Love O love O love O love O love O love O love O love O love O love O love O love Let me be the only one To keep you from the cold Now the floor of heav’n is laid With stars of brightest gold They shine for you They shine for you They burn for all to see Come into these arms again And set this spirit free

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

THOUGH YOU HURT ME SO.........thoughts appreciated Posted: 5/4/2009 5:49:14 PM
Everything written here so far shows the depth of feeling that each of us undergoes at some point in our lives.Talent is hidden from the world at large,but seeps into our everyday life,spilling over,,,into the night....... FOR THE Night The prayer of you, whispers in my mind An ethereal connectionOf love yet to find Fingers of love caress my innermost thought Like a storm in the morning,And the dew that it brought If colors were feelings,Indigo sorrow pervades Lavender regret, purple loneliness ,Palette of love not yet made. Songs shared at midnight, melancholy chords of desire Reach deep in my soul, stirring up distant fire Listening quietly to the music ,notes despondent and blue Melody and lyrics blend gently, bringing my thoughts back to you . Total Eclipse of the Heart was, and still is one of my very favorite songs.

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

What makes an effective first email? Posted: 4/3/2009 5:57:03 PM
First of all,I check out the profile..YES ,I read them.If the guy can actually sit down and write something that tells me he's at least literate. I really like a man to use good grammer and spelling. I'm delighted if he puts things in his profile that takes some thought and effort. The next thing I look for is if he's in a big rush to "find his big, true love"....Some men are salivating for a relationship to start immediately if not sooner. If a guy wants to start out slow and get to know me,that's a turn on to me. I don't like the email to be real long. I like to find things out as we talk. Maybe this might help someone.... Good Luck!!

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 77 (view)

Am I old fashion or are guys better looking in jeans and a tee? Posted: 4/3/2009 5:47:35 PM
I'm with blueyesrsmiling on this one. I love the way Levis fit a man with a good body.Much better than Wranglers or other brands. Of course,you kind of HAVE to have the khaki Dockers in the closet for the dressier occasions.But,of course,Levi makes them. Just a plain white tee shirt, Levis and barefeet,Or of course work boots..... I prefer a white tee shirt and jeans myself,as a matter of fact.......

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Is this really what the dating scene is like? Posted: 3/28/2009 6:04:41 PM
Ben,I think you were a little presumptuous,but on the other hand,she did give you several reasons for you to think she wanted exclusivity as well as you. Maybe in the future,rein it in a bit,get some more info from her as to what she might expect from and with you. I think the military is a little more sensitive than your average Joe about trust issues and that type of thing.But you were a little too presumptuous. Thats youth,babe....you'll learn alot as you get older. Always be prepared if you place something on a forum to get ALL types of viewpoints.

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 118 (view)

Was he raised by a family of wild jackals?!?! Posted: 3/23/2009 6:52:11 PM
Omy,,,this guy is a total ass....please,please don't let the screen door hit you in the butt on your way out (of HIS place)... one of the posters said "I'd forget his name"...lol....RIGHT ON!!!!

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

He left and came back 7 times Posted: 3/23/2009 3:17:34 PM
What's a gaslighter?

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Ok, where is the line?? Posted: 3/20/2009 5:36:01 PM
I'm definetly agreeing with raiderfan...I think you're pushing it a bit while she is trying to back out gently.... But,you never know for sure,she might be one of those types that likes to see how far a guy will go to get her attention... Good luck....

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 183 (view)

I know I will get blasted for this but... Posted: 3/16/2009 6:14:20 PM
I remember when stockings still required a garter belt.Pantyhose was a great invention but they left alot to be desired.They were way more practical and comfortable(as opposed to the hose and garter belts),but lost that sexy innuendo,that little secret that guys always knew we had but could never quite figure it out. We still have it,that little secret.... I really like a mans white shirt,and black stockings held up by a little black garter belt....that ,to me is VERY sexy..... Now,if a guy showed up in a white shirt with black stockings held up with a tiny black garter belt,I'd run in the other direction...LOL....

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 199 (view)

The habits your ex had that make you glad its over. Posted: 2/4/2009 3:48:52 PM
I use to HATE it when he stepped out of the tub,,,,SOAKING wet,to stand dripping on the bathrugs before even starting to dry off. I'm almost completely dry BEFORE leaving the tub. Too many OTHER things to even list on here.

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 167 (view)

Guys i need your help.... let us girls in on your huy stuff Posted: 12/14/2008 10:05:37 PM
I think it's important to let the guy know right up front what your parameters for the evening will be.BEFORE the alcohol kicks in. You just made eye contact across the floor....... Everything looks about right,the height is good,dresses apropriately.... They flash a bright smile that says "yes, I have teeth"........... They meander up by you and ask you to dance,politely....not gettin' right up on ya grindin'............ You have a nice dance that doesn't give all your secrets away the first five minutes. Next step is to try to find a place to sit and chat a few minutes to get to know one another and let them know,you like them so far,but their won't be any sleepovers that same night even if all goes well.If you like each other,the chemistry is good,you've had a great time,then maybe they can take you home,and/or get your number for the second date. This lets the guy know you like him,but you aren't an ole HO.Believe me,he'll respect you for it. Plus,men are wired to like the thrill of the chase.Give him enough flirts to be fun but not slutty,and the game is ON! He wants to be able to win that 2nd,3rd,4th date!!! Don't be afraid to talk a little in the beginning just so both of you will be on the same page. WHOO HOOO~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 40 (view)

Why??????? woman preferably..but any good answer is appreciated. thanx. Posted: 12/9/2008 1:56:41 PM
I agree totally with sepia777. There are soooo many reasons for staying in a marriage/relationship where you aren't happy. I stayed in one for over 36 years.I left MANY times only to come back again. We were two oppposite people and living in the same space was awful. Now that we are divorced and live separately I think we actually LIKE each other now. At least we get along now. I know I'm a happier person for leaving.I never dreamed I could ever be happy unless we were together,I kept shooting for the happy part but only found brief bits and peices. Please understand that EVERYONE can find happiness if they are alone...you don't have to be in a relationship to be happy.It took me long enough to find that out.

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

Do I lie? Posted: 11/24/2008 1:21:56 AM
Don't start ANY relationships with lies. You'll get yourself deeper and deeper into this dysfunction. You need to learn how to give yourself the approval you need. Associate yourself with positive,upbeat people that feels good about themselves and you will learn from them. I recommend a book called "Codependent No More"........It teaches you how to deal with issues just like the one you have. It's sad,but some people think that if they blow out everyone elses candle it will make their own burn brighter,but it doesn't work that way.If someone cares for you enough they will understand and help you develope a relationship built on mutual trust,love,and communication. If someone is always bringing you down and not giving you any worth,build your OWN worth up to the point that you can SEE that what they are trying to do is very sad for them.Love yourself first,don't rely on what every one else might be telling you unless it is POSITIVE. You sound very bright,intuitive,intelligent and kind.Nothing anyone tells you otherwise should affect you. In the Bible it tells us if someone is doing the wrong things and not celebrating who YOU are,shake the dust off your feet and move on! GOOD LUCK!!!

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 120 (view)

i neeed heeeeeelllppp Posted: 11/14/2008 1:22:39 PM
I learned a great line awhile back and I use it whenever I can..... In any relationship I have.... I must be celebrated,not tolerated! I love that because if a man celebrates YOU,then you can feel so good about yourself that you can love him back without hesitation or reservation. I think young girls today give out the most precious thing in the world(themselves) way too soon to guys that haven't in any way shown you the respect and love that you deserve if you've decided to be in an exclusive relationship. Maybe I sound a little old fashioned,but,givin' it up so soon in a relationship only gives him the idea that you are "easy".....

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 112 (view)

Unconditional Love Posted: 11/14/2008 1:12:08 PM
I don't believe it's possible to have unconditional love.I think there are ALWAYS conditions.... Some are so small that some people don't realize that they are there...like.... would you love someone that constantly lied to you,no,I think not. What about if your lover had horrible bad breath or body odor? yes,you might still love them,but a "condition" might include that they take care of the problem. They might be small conditions,but they are conditions none the less.

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

10 min. meal for under a buck Posted: 11/14/2008 12:30:05 PM
Very cheap and very good for you!........ I can of mackrel(about 79cts.)you can also use pink salmon in the can,a wee bit more than 79cts..... Crush some crackers(about 20cts) mash up the mackrel,form patties one at a time, dip in egg mixture,then roll in cracker crumbs,,,,,,,, Fry each patty until brown,........ I usually add chopped onion to the mackrel. I also dip them in ketchup,yummy!!! maybe a tad bit more than a buck with the egg,the onion, and the crackers,but you get several patties from one can.My family loves them!

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Need a recipe for salsbury steak Posted: 11/14/2008 12:17:37 PM
Excuse the delete thing,I clicked it by mistake thinking I posted it twice,sorry guys.Please don't delete it until I get some answers,thanks!

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Need a recipe for salsbury steak Posted: 11/14/2008 11:54:27 AM
Anyone remember the "real" salsbury steak? Not the stuff in a frozen dinner,but the real thing. I worked in a restaurant when I was 13,(almost 40 years ago) and they had a salsbury steak and rice dinner that was sumptuous.I don't even know what the meat was,but it wasn't hamburger! It was very tender though.We had it with gravy over white rice.Can anyone help?

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 381 (view)

Wierd sandwiches we ate as kids or anything else! Posted: 11/14/2008 11:38:51 AM
I still eat peanut butter with dill pickle sandwiches. When I was real little my mom caught me eating mustard sandwiches.It's been a joke in the family all these years.The sad truth is that was all there was ,just bread and mustard.The funny part was that I made one extra and "hid" it for later. Even at 3 years old I was protectng myself.

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 277 (view)

Is sex as important to you as it once was? Posted: 11/12/2008 4:59:07 PM
Back when my parents were about the age I am now,I thought they were too old to "do it"...lol...much less understand the passion that was burning inside me. I know now that they were enjoying each other thoroughly and without the possibility of getting pregnant to worry them. As we grow older,it's inevitable that we know more about what we are doing and understand more the feelings behind what we do.I have to say that I don't understand people that can have one night stands,although I don't condemn them for it.But personally,I have to care deeply for the one that I give myself to.My heart and mind has to be there with my body.This is going to limit me for sure,but I can't help how I'm wired. I feel that it's as important as the food we eat,or the water we drink.It's built inside us to reach out for that most intimate encounter.That's what ALL of us are searching for,is it not? The ability to have someone that you can be that close to and have a relationship of love,trust,honesty,and the feeling of "belonging" to someone. I hope that can happen again in my life. Until it does,I'll continue to make myself as good a ME as I can be.

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 85 (view)

Over 45 and happy to stay single for the rest of your life? Posted: 11/10/2008 4:24:29 PM
LOL@its better together!!! I was married for so long that I never even knew what it was like to just be ME. Met him at 14,married at 15,mother at 16........... from then on I was a daughter,a wife,a mother,became a nurse,worked AND took care of the kids,the husband and the never-ending "to do list"........ then we divorced after 36 years together...... I didn't know how to be alone.I didn't know how to cook for just one(I threw out tons of food before I finally learned,I could've fed a third world country for a year,lol) I couldn't figure out what to do with complete control of the remote... I had the WHOLE kingsized bed to myself...... I could sleep until noon without guilt..... I could eat whenever I felt like it but it took me a year to learn how to do that.... I learned it was ok to take long baths without someone knocking on the door to get in the bathroom next...... Could I be happy to stay single for the rest of my life? Yes,I think I've learned how to be happy with myself. Do I want to? I'm not so sure on that one. It might be hard to start living with someone again after I've gotten use to everything "my way"..... But hey,you never know what life has in store for you...I never dreamed I'd be divorced at 50.Life goes on,gotta learn to go with the flow.................

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Question for the women. Posted: 11/10/2008 3:59:19 PM
Look,not everyone is looking for the same things in a mate,or date... The only way to find out if you've met someone that is desirable for YOU is to date them.So,in that time that you are getting to know someone,either you,or the other person has decided something isn't clicking.No biggie....you could just as easily be the one to decide that the other person isn't right for you. Don't ALWAYS take it as something is wrong with you. It might just mean that she just doesn't feel the same way you do and she's trying to tell you in a nice way before either of you invest more time in it. Until the right person comes along for YOU....you might meet a lot of women,some may become friends(hopefully) Good Luck in your quest!

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 306 (view)

Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone? Posted: 11/4/2008 10:56:07 AM
(toyepimloneleytoo.....it doesn't even have to be the one you carry a torch for,it may just be we compare ALL men to the one that we had,and sometimes they just come up short) In my case,I chat with someone 10 minutes....they immediately want my number,they want to meet that very day,they're saying they think they could love me...or..they outright say "I love you"........ It puts me off,I'll have to admit. It makes me fearful of the nice guys that really want to just start out slow.If someone really wants to start a relationship with ME..then they should give me the time I need to feel comfortable meeting them.It seems just when I feel confident enough to meet them....they back off for awhile,then they contact me again, sometimes months later.I feel we have to regain the trust issue again.I don't know,maybe I'm just weird,but....you have to be careful these days.There are some NUTS out there!..LOL..........

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 171 (view)

Find many man do not how to kiss. Do we need a kissing school? Posted: 11/2/2008 4:51:29 PM
Like the OP,I had a problem with someone that was exquisite in all other depts but was not very skilled in kissing.....I was devasted for many,many years because I LOVE kissing and know there is an art to it. I guess because he didn't really like kissing,he wouldn't really give me the chance of showing just how erotic it could be.One or two lite kisses then he'd go on to other things to my utter dismay. I finally just really let him have it....not letting him get away with such a scrawny attempt at kissing.When he realized just how perfect it can be,he couldn't get enough!!! Many years was lost but at least he got the lesson he desparately needed. And wiktor~~~~~If a woman is excellent in the kissing dept....she must be just that good with other depts that use the mouth and tongue!!!

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 72 (view)

If you were dating someone that your child/children did not like would you break up, or would you stay???? Posted: 11/2/2008 10:20:59 AM
michaela~~~~~~~~ Darlin' I hope you sat down and told your son to ALWAYS tell you if someone has asked him to lie to you! I think it's despicable that his own father did that....Now you also have a BIG trust issue with his dad and his wife. We are only as sick as our secrets,they pollute childrens judgement.....he may now be confused because his dad lies and encourages HIM to lie as well.The poster that said to keep the lines of communication open with your son was right.My children told me EVERYTHING growing up....sometimes things I would have preferred not knowing,lol.They are now 35 and 30,and both of them abhorr liars!!! They both are wonderful adults,I think mostly because I waited several years after they were married and out of the house before I divorced their Dad.That was my own personal decision and I'm NOT saying it's for everyone(don't ya'll be gettin' your panties/drawers in a wad thinking I'm recommending others do the same,lol) You sound like a really good Mom...and when you develope a close relationship with your child,you'll KNOW if he doesn't like someone you are dating by your instincts.That's when you talk to him and see if it actually warrants you breaking up with someone,or that your son may need to get to know your date better on a more personal level.If the guy is straight up,he won't mind going the extra mile to have a relationship with your son.If he wants one with Mom,he has to develope one with her child/children..... Good luck,sweety!

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 31 (view)

Do you ever find that the hardest thing to do is accept yourself? Posted: 10/31/2008 1:53:11 PM
I'm finding more and more everyday that EVERYONE has some insecurities to some degree.Mine is tht I was married for 36 years to the same man(since I was 15) and recently divorced.I started out with a perfect figure and decent looks,a great personality and a good heart.Now I'm 52,starting over and age has a way of doing some damage.I'm told I still look great for my age,but my ex had a way of kind of "keeping me down" so to speak,so my confidence level took a big hit. I'm working on changing those"old tapes" in my head and replacing them with good self image affirmations.I'm not going to let someone that had poor self esteem his whole life dictate to me how I should feel about myself.....that would be insane! I'm learning how to accept the fact that my body has changed over the years but my heart and soul hasn't.......

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Second time around...same person Posted: 10/27/2008 7:15:32 AM
I believe people can absolutely change.Yes,even as we grow older. I'm 52 and I've changed more this past two years than I have in the last 10 or more. Sometimes,"we can't see the forest for the trees"....you have to stand apart from a situation or way of life to get a clear view.It's hard to do that,but with sincere self searching and maybe some really good friends to help and support you,it can be done. On the other hand,if the person in question is still doing the same things that were not tolerable the first time around,have the insight to recognize it and seek a healthier relationship.

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 215 (view)

Most Wild Place You Had sex! Posted: 10/13/2008 12:58:03 PM
In the early years of my marriage I left my THEN husband and went to a motel.He sniffed me out while I was doing laundry in a very tiny laundry room of the motel.Only one washer and dryer.If I remember correctly we "knocked boots"on the top ,during the spin cycle of the washer....lol. I went back to him that night.

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 39 (view)

Women Abandoned By Their Dads ~ How Has it Effected Your Love Life? Posted: 9/26/2008 11:37:21 AM
My dad was never completely out of our lives until he died in 1977,(I was 20 and was pregnant with my second child)..Before that,he was in and out...in just long enough to make us think he was home to stay.He was an alcoholic that drank "periodically". He would sweet talk my mom into letting him back home,get a job,help around the house,play with us...then....just when we were starting to trust him again,he wouldn't come home from work."POOF"...he was gone on a binder. I think I had insecurity issues from day one.I couldn't trust anyone,but learned to trust myself.I knew that I would be able to love,cherish,and support my kids on my own.But,I chose a man that I thought would "protect" me.Strong physically,and determined not to abandon his own children like his father abandoned him.It seemed like the perfect match. Codependancy was the threadwork behind our marriage. After 36 years,I had become a strong,independent woman that no longer needed or wanted to play the old worn out games anymore.My kids were grown,healthy and strong with good partners,so,it was time to look at what I was left with.A man that never learned to love me just for who I was.I had become HIS mother through all those years and I was tired of one-sided caring and sharing. I commend him for all the strengths that he DID have,but emotions and love for me wasn't one of them. It was a hard decision to make,but,I divorced him and am now "moving on" so to speak. It's a hard thing....but necessary for me to finally relax and not have to give 110% in the relationship. So,did my Dad play a part in all of this? MOST DEFINITELY!Did he set out to do so? ABSOLUTELY NOT! It was what it was...we are ALL a product of our raising. Hopefully we learn from our mistakes and teach our children better...... Sorry if this was long....but,somehow it was very cathartic writing it. Thanks to the OP for a great post...... Good luck to us all......................

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 249 (view)

Why is a great person like you single? Posted: 9/19/2008 11:07:11 AM
I get that question alot.I always appreciate where it actually comes from,and that is,from a truly nice person that is giving me a compliment from his heart.I ALWAYS appreciate compliments! But,as we've ALL been told,"looks aren't everything." There are BEAUTIFUL people that have personalities and souls that make the devil nervous.Then....there are people that their face would make a freight train take a dirt track that are sweet,genuine,honest,loving,kind,and have AWESOME personalities. Finding the person that YOU feel is attractive enough to meet your own personal standards,and that are are able to meet qualifications in the personality department that meets your needs, therein lies the dilemma.To find that person, then actually find that you have "chemistry"..... Unless someone comes into your life,unexpectedly,blindsiding you,you'll probably end up "shooting yourself in the foot".... Looking for that perfect person will usually end up being a futile experience.I think it just has to "happen"....probably like the first time it ever happened to you.It "just happened".......

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Profile Review Please Posted: 8/28/2008 3:29:22 PM
I agree,I think most all of us that are moms feel our children are our first priority,if they're 4 or 40..... But,,,,it's mostly a given,so no need to shout it. You could do with a little more warmth and playfulness,but of course that's just my opinion.You make it very plain that you're an independent woman,but,I think most men like to be the "broad-shouldered type for us women. And whether you know it or not,we really need those broad shoulders,at least I do. I don't pretend I know everything about profiles or all that entails,but,you asked for a review and there it is regardless of whether or not it can help in any way. I think we ALL just need some good luck to come our way.

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 153 (view)

Odd Little Things The Opposite Sex Does You Find Sexy or Attracts You Posted: 8/23/2008 8:47:26 AM
watching him shave and look at me in the mirror watching him shave. coming up behind me and sliding his arms around my waist,kissing my neck. watching him work outside wearing only jeans and workboots,sweating. catching him looking at me while I'm not noticing him the way he smells after a cold winter day outside. ((shoot,I kind of miss those times,lol))

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

Can't move on.....What to do? Posted: 8/23/2008 8:32:55 AM
mynameisjc..... Darlin',are you obsessive/compulsive in other areas of your life? I'd suggest you seek some help in the form of self confidence issues,lack of self esteem. These are all symptoms of lack thereof.Wanting someone that wants someone else that abused her??? C'mon,dude!! See it for what it REALLY is!!! You are destroying your life over someone that would rather be ABUSED than be with you! I'm SO sorry to be so blunt,but,I agree with SwampHunter.....I would NEVER be with someone that dissed me in such a way as this gal has you ! I hope and pray you get some counseling,or you're not going to see yourself as a worthwhile, loving,caring person that DESERVES to be loved correctly and with respect. GOOD LUCK!!!

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 50 (view)

Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter? Posted: 8/22/2008 3:21:46 PM
My main concern is that when you're married for a very long time(in my case 36 years), you grow older gradually and get used to the difference in your bodies. You have kids,but,he was there with you thru all that and it didn't matter.Now that I'm older,and my body isn't as perfect as it used to be,I worry that I may not be as desirable.I absolutely know that I CAN be very desirable and sensual,but just making that first commitment,after divorce,that scares me to death.I'm glad to see that there are so many out there with the same fears. I say good luck to us all!!!!

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

The Dream Posted: 7/30/2008 2:47:38 PM
"This encounter marked you, but it did not make you" Very intuitive,I enjoyed the story very much...we can all learn from our joys,AND or sorrows.

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

A new story Posted: 7/28/2008 6:49:35 AM
I agree with the other posts,the first story lacked insight into the lives of the characters.If you're going to write about the most intimate details in someones lives,you need to give the characters some"character"....let us know WHO they are,how they feel....the mechanics of it seemed believable enough,but not deep enough to "feel" what the story had to say.I read it....just couldn't seem to "feel it" The only way to remedy that is to write,write,write....then REALLY read your own writings...Do they make you seem to be right there in the story? Can you feel the emotion of it? The second story came alive more for me....enjoyed the "twist" of it....I think you have talent,a little raw,yet,but,it's there. Good luck,and,keep at it......it takes alot of guts to put your work on display to be critiqued.....

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

joint love story... Posted: 7/26/2008 10:26:09 AM
Meanwhile,on the pediatric ward,Oscar awkened from his sleep.Immediately he cried out in fear."Mama!",he cried.Frantically he looked around this strange place and couldn't see her anywhere.A nurse stepped quickly to his bedside,calmly reassuring him that everything would be fine.His big blue eyes filled with tears and reached chubby little arms out to her.Somehow he sensed this nice lady in the white uniform was a safe haven.She took him up in her arms and soothingly held him to her.His little body trembled and clutched her like she was the only person left in the world. She placed him back in the bed and told him that his mother was safe. "I'll go check on her now,but you need to rest,"she told him gently. "You be a good boy,and I'll bring you back a popsicle."

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

joint love story... Posted: 7/24/2008 6:34:47 PM
Emma was just vaguely aware of sounds around her.All she remembered were those precious words whispered in her ear,"Your baby is fine." That voice,it was familiar and very comforting."Where have I heard him before?"she thought.Reaching back in the recesses of her mind she struggled to place a person to the voice she heard so close to her ear.As she drifted in the nether world of unconciousness,she remembered her car,and the ambulance that waited close by.Strong arms that lifted her as if she were a feather came back to her.Words of reassurance close to her ear,just like the ones whispered about her baby,played on the edges of her memory."Who was it", she wondered....."Oh, I can't do this now,I'll think about that...tomorrow."

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

joint love story... Posted: 7/23/2008 5:20:34 PM
Emma runs her hand down his neck,grabs a handful of mane, and pulls herself up on his wide muscular back.She feels him nervously pawing the ground and she leans forward to soothe him with whispered words only he could hear.As he lifts his head she nudges him forward with her knees,gripping tightly with her legs.Stretched out before them was green rolling hills with grass tall and soft.A laugh rose in her throat as she felt him picking up speed and the wind blowing in her hair.Just as she was ready to ask more of him and let him run free,she heard a distant cry.A familiar sound that tore at her heart pulled her from this state of grace.Pain suddenly filled her body,and she was jerked back through time and space.Buzzers and voices filled the room as she struggled to see what was going on around her."My baby....please someone tell me where my baby is!"

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

joint love story... Posted: 7/22/2008 4:47:38 PM
A beautiful white stallion with flowing mane and tail nudged her as she lie sleeping....as she awoke, a warm muzzle, soft as velvet slid across her cheek."I must be in heaven" she thought as she gazed at the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.She was afraid to move,afraid this magnificent creature would flee,or dissolve before her eyes. She quietly arose,slowly and surely,making no sound.The horse seemed to know her and gently nudged her,not even attempting to leave.She reached out tentatively,stroking his sleek neck,marveling at his presence.

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 324 (view)

is there faithful or decent men out there Posted: 7/21/2008 1:21:22 PM
This might not be a popular answer,but,I totally believe that women have to take some accountability for their man cheating.If you're giving your man what he needs,and,then,don't let it get boring and old,you have a better chance of keeping him interested in only you.There ARE men that are just born cheaters,but,you increase your chances of him not cheating if you at least try to keep yourself fit,clean,dressed nice,smellin' good,flirty for him,a little mysterious,and loving. To those men that would cheat anyway....well,you're messed UP!!!

swtsunlvr

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

joint love story... Posted: 7/21/2008 1:00:29 PM
Suddenly she was aware of strong arms,lifting her effortlessly out of the car.Someone had placed a cervical collar on her and she couldn't see who it was."You're going to be fine.Just relax,I have 'ya." The voice of this stranger that was holding her was deep and melodic. "I could get use to this" she thought as he gently placed her on the ground,well away from her car. It was starting to show flames underneath it,a few minutes more and she would've been barbque.

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