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9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Do Other Guys Really Do This Posted: 7/16/2008 4:31:23 PM
Although the pervert stuff you don't find so much in the real world Well, that depends on your area and age group.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

wedding drama Posted: 7/6/2008 3:10:55 PM
If you're worried just elope! Being of the mind since the first time I was a flowergirl when I was 4 that weddings are stupid, that's all the advice I can give. A wedding is about your life, not hers, so if you want to be married at a particular time, DO IT. As for the drama queen...she is a drama queen, but I would think a small ceremony and reception should not rile the selfish princess into a frenzy. The last wedding I helped plan had a bride who aspired to be a bridzilla, she signed all her emails and introduced herself on the phone as, "bridezilla." So, drama queens can't be predicted.... elope Elope ELOPE! With drama queens, she might still be angry if she DID get married and you stole her thunder in the next year. If she's going to be a child, she will. You can't control her, so don't try. Asking her permission just feeds into the drama queen mentality that the sun rises for them and them alone. Send her the invite with everyone else and if she objects compose a well worded letter asking her not to come, to allow those who wish to celebrate your union to celebrate in peace without needing to apologize to her. Or tell her to grow up. I'd be happy to tell her, if you want a middleman. I still have drafts from the last highly protested wedding.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

How important it is for you to have a man who is confident? Posted: 7/6/2008 2:51:20 PM
Question #1 part a- Very. Confident and c0cky are very different. Ability to reason through a decision instead of picking something and not backing down. Very few women want to feel like we have a slave or a pet that has to be on a leash to know where we're going or be told what he wants to eat. Very few women like a guy ordering for them, too. So you have to find your spot between controling pr1ck and lap dog. Confident people can still learn. C0cky people pretend like they know everything and screw up more. Question #1 part b- Always and never are pretty much the same: words you should avoid in generalizations. They're generalizations, so accept that first, then realize even in general, people are different. Not even the Chirsitan god ALWAYS knows what he wants. pffft. Why would we expect someone to always know everything? I don't care if he thought he wanted a particular fridge when we get to the store, I want him to look over the others just incase there is a better one. I don't want him to go straight to one website when buying the fridge, I want him to shop around. (Purely examples, if I do most of the cooking I'M buying the fridge.) Question #2- If you are looking for a woman suffering from battered wife syndrome: yes. As Alexy already mentioned, it is not a common trait in women to want to feel owned. We'd like to feel that we belong together and a lot of women want monogamy, but ownership is not the only relationship people can have.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Is it unrealistic to be deterministic about the sought characteristics? Posted: 7/6/2008 11:46:16 AM
That's a whole bucket of "depends on." Is your list of requirements what you have on your profile? Not to get into a profile review, but I think it is fine. You start with you, mention a list of qualities you appreciate in your mate and then talk about your relationship in general. Are you planning to put a longer list on you profile? Is anything retarded on your ABC list? Such as "attractive, smart, openminded, not a serial killer" Yeah, who wants an idiotic, racist, serial killer uggo? Or, has to be a long haired brunnette? Can't fall outside the height range of 5'10-5'11? Having standards is normal and healthy. Not wanting to date a violent criminal, mooch or STD filled person are some of my standards. Having a mental list of standards is a very good idea. If you don't know what you want in a mate, you really shouldn't look around right now. Knowing what you can live with in your mate is important. I'm not sure what approach you're ACTUALLY looking for us to judge. If you consider what is on your profile a list, then no, you're upfront and honest. If I were an introvert looking for a one night stand, I would not be offended if you turned me down. You have much more on your profile about you than your desired match(that is the prope ratio). If you presented a list of requirements without a list of your qualities, it is a BIG turn off because it presents you as above everyone else. You're requiring them to apply for the chance of a response, without telling them anything. I can't really guess if your list is realistic without knowing the content.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

The value of a dollar! Posted: 7/3/2008 8:27:50 PM
Just dating? It's none of my business. If it gets serious? I'd like to know he can take care of himself. I second that. Any purely social contact's financial information is NONE of my business until we're talking about pre-nups or they're asking me for money. By the time you're combining earnings, how has it not come up in conversation once in a while? I feel asking someone what they do for a living is rude at the begining, not everyone loves their job and anyone interesting can talk about more than what they do for a living. I am not comfortable discussing the amount of money I spend and earn on a first date, it makes me feel like I'm being interviewed as their next sugar momma. I imagine guys feel the same way when she's asking what he does, earns, drives and spends. Certain questions deserve the response, "Why is that a big deal to you right now?" Remember, you're always allowed to answer, "I don't think that is your business at this point in our relationship."

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Should I Stay Or Should I Go Posted: 7/3/2008 4:10:16 PM
Put something of substance in your profile bio. I like the amount of interests and the variety of interests(not the "sci-fi movies, horror movies" and a list of TV shows, you've put some thought into the list. "Love" is a tad corny, but it says something about your personality.) Remember the profile is how you sell yourself. So, when buying a product, what do you want to know? We're assuming all parts are included and no assembly is required, but, what else? You're male and only been on here a month. So, it could be awhile for you. Sorry, but the numbers are against you. For a profile, "nice, laid back, easy to get along with, respectful and respectable guy" sounds like, "blah, blah, really can't think of anything to say." Most people won't put in their profile "Uptight, jerk; always looking for a fight who spouts insults 24/7 while grabbing my crotch in anger." The only thing we've learned is that you're laid back, the rest is drivel everyone claims. Even an anecdote in the bio is better than two lines that don't give information. It makes it seems like you can't think of anything good about yourself. You SHOULD stay, because, even if you never update your profile and only check messages once a month, you've still got yourself out there. This is a free site, so it's not like you've gotta get all the contacts in under a month to avoid another $10. Just be laid back and decide what statistics you want to go with. All these people exist, the percentage on this site is up to your personal random beliefs: (10%)-under 18 year olds just playing around (20%)-over 300 pounders just playing around or think they can drop 100 pounds by the time they meet you (10%)-cold hearted people of any gender just playing around (50%)-people who are just mean. They do want to find their perfect doormat or they just want their perfect doormat to track them down vigorously. (10%)-welladjusted people who date on and offline happy fishing

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 66 (view)

Why do you need help? Posted: 7/1/2008 1:29:54 PM
This seems pretty simple... How would you prefer a 29 or 51 year old woman contact you? All the other restrictions you have give you the answer. If a woman who did not meet your restrictions wanted to contact you how would you prefer they do it? Do what you'd want the people who don't meet your restrictions to do! Using a middleman seems kinda weird, just change your location. People move all the time, change you zipcode, message her, change it back, but do NOT expect any sympathy if you're read/deleted, she did give you the warning she wasn't interested before you even contacted her. You've got a lot of restrictions, so you know what they're about. If someone were to ignore yours, how'd you want them to go about doing that? Unless, of course, you didn't mean to put them up, just like the girl of your dreams didn'tmean to put hers up?

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

"creepy" Posted: 7/1/2008 1:08:56 PM
Well, I agree with the "pervert is creepy" idea, but "pervert" is different for everybody. One man's psychotic, dangerous kink is another man's regular Thursday night. As mentioned before, the guy's first contact being a request for a sex act is normally considered creepy. For some women this is a step in the right direction and not beating around the bush. Kink/Thursday all depend on the person. I do know some women who think "creepy" guys are the guys who have the brass balls to speak to women without being the women's ideal Adonis. I don't want a guy who jacks off on my car every night, because that isn't a turn on for me in the morning....But, that's a different thread. So, down to the meat of creepy: Stalker potential. Not, "OMG! I have a stalker, he checks my myspace every day!!!" I mean the REAL stalker who puts your life in danger. When you first meet someone they aren't a stalker, but you can see certain things that might make them a stalker....like a woman saying she wouldn't let her man go to Hooters. That's the type of woman who might follow you to your sister's birthday party to make sure you don't talk to anyone there but your mom and sister and if you do, she boils your rabbit, waits until you fall asleep and cuts off your testicles for "cheating." So, you see some red flags and it is creepy. Once he starts in on the stalking he's no longer creepy, but scarey.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 36 (view)

Being judged..... Posted: 6/3/2008 10:34:29 PM
she would never date someone who went to Hooters, because that man would cheat ROTFLMFAO Sadly, she is not alone. There are women who feel that a man who glances at a nude photo in a porno mag is cheating. Plus there's some catholic thing about thinking it is as bad as doing it, so if you have sinful thoughts about a woman, you might aswell fck her; you're getting the same amount of extra laps in the lake of fire, anyway. #1- Hooters, as a franchise, has good wings at a reasonable price. So long as the restaurant follows the rules set by the franchise, the wings are fabu. So they have a theme, I live in the bible belt and people can have an open mind, JEEZ! #2- That is a T not a K! It is HooTers, not HooKers!!! If the waitresses turn tricks, that has NOTHING to do with the food or franchise. Sorry, so many of you live in areas where women can only be employed as prostitutes, but the franchise itself is JUST a restaurant. How in the world can you judge another human being with out any facts, evidence, information,or knowledge Because otherwise we'd have a have a CLUE what we're talking about, DUH!!! Who wants that!!!!? Speaking of that.... I go to Hooters because they wear pantyhose...lmao...But does that make me a cheater? Um...I'm going to assume you purchase them from the waitresses and do something rather perverted with those panty hose, so, I'm gonna say yes. What ever you do to those pantyhose must be cheating, you dirty, dirty perv. Yeah, the woman done fell off her rocker and rolled off the porch. If you ever see her on the street hit the ground and crawl away so she doesn't see you. ;-}

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

How Do Men Learn Your Language Posted: 6/3/2008 8:56:57 AM
Do you know there is a massive opening in the market for a female to run a college course on this subject I hold workshops for my male friends. I also teach them how to get laid using the movie "Ladder 49." I also offer email translation to both genders because BOTH genders type the weirdest crap when they are dodging honesty. "So, do other women (friends, etc) understand this language???? Or to put it closer to the point, "do females actually understand their own language?" Firstly....I object to it being called the female language. It is a tard method of communication. While 99.9% of the native speakers are female, straight men do it, too. Let's call it "manipulative b1tchese"? Not all women understand the language, just like not all women understand the male language. (I translate both.) Women with a single wrinkle in their brain HATE this language with a firey passion. This is what shoots the "women's movement" out of the circus cannon and in the wrong direction, anyway. Manipulative B1tchese and Male Intellect are not difficult, all it takes is awareness and giving a rat's patoot about the meaning. (Which is why both genders seem to be at a loss...if you don't CARE what your partner is saying, you won't catch on.) Once you put some effort into the process you'll not only have fun listening in on conversations you'll understand your relationship.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 40 (view)

MMA -- general consensus Posted: 6/1/2008 6:09:38 PM
While I don't find it interesting to watch, it is consenting adults, not roosters, pit bulls or even scorpions. Bear baiting- immoral. People baiting- meh, dull to me, fun to others, but consent is involved. If a person chose to do this as a job, side job, or hobby it is something to discuss, but not a deal breaker. I wouldn't shun people who work for tobbacco companies, either. Are the physical beatings and disconfigured faces gross? OPEN wounds are gross. I would have trouble not tackling the guy with peroxide and tea tree oil, we all have to use self control. Is it too barbaric to accept? Meh. If the guy has anger issues that would be the deal breaker. If he can leave it in the ring, he qualifies as the normal guy with the same need for evaluation as everyone else.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

When someone asks how are you? what do you usually say? Posted: 5/31/2008 6:17:23 PM
I often wonder when people ask me this question if people truly care how I'm doing That's easy, if there is ANY question about their intention: just dull conversation. Stranger or close friend, it has become something to say to people in passing. Stupid question for a quick greeting. If you don't want an answer, don't give someone the opening. Say, "Hey, bud, have a great day!" If I'm in a good mood I respond with a joke. If I'm in a horrid mood I either grunt, say, "Hi" or say "Whatever" while rolling my eyes. (The whatever/eye roll was the most common when people found out my brother died and said, "Hey,tilt head to the side How ya doin'?" While not even slowing their gait!) If I'm not in a coddling random strangers mood I say, "Son of a suckling sow! She did NOT tell you! Did she?" THAT really works to get people to not ask that. For two main reasons. Either: 1. They think you know them 2. They think YOU think you know them. And that scares people. If enough people start doing this it might make some of the dull people stop using this question as a greeting. Lying to people is never a good idea, if you aren't worth their time and consideration, they aren't worth any amount of sugar coating.* *Unless this is your boss, then you just give the vague response.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

not interested ok and? Posted: 5/28/2008 1:22:54 PM
I think I know exactly what happened, I have started getting this a bit... Do you look at people's profiles when you read someone's post in the forums? The person looks at who viewed them and start responding to everyone. I'll get a not interested message from someone I've never messaged, the most recent had the subject, "saying no."and the body, "Thankyou but age 30-39. " So, I checked All Correspondence, nothing; and looked at his profile, he was a guy who posted something horrid in a thread and I clicked his profile out of curiousity. So, if I ever get bored, I can just add him to favorites and see how long it takes him to delete me. It's funny and the answer really is, "You read my mind, hon." lol But don't bother responding, she's just too bored. At least she's responding. Count that toward the read/deleted ratio.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Why do i always seem to be the one who initiates contact? Posted: 5/24/2008 4:39:25 PM
Are women generally shy to make first contact? Yes. Call it conditioning, stereotypes, prejudice, coughlazinesscough whatever. Your profile: Starts out great.... But then..... "i'm fed up with this saying" "not have any contact with your x's" "don't contact me if you are out for revenge " Don't contact me if you're a psycho killer, either. This is like demanding honesty, honest people have it, dishonest people lie about having it. Don't list every bad thing you can think of. "No Teasers!!!"(See above about honesty.) "looking for positivity not negativity" After all that? The sarcasm is hilarious. If you're looking for positivity then GIVE IT. You have a hint about how you come off. "Just clarifying that i'm not looking for Miss Perfect" <--- so you are aware that your list sounds a bit angry and demanding. So, you may give of the same vibe in person, but I doubt it based on your age range. Odd way to judge someone, but your age range is exactly even, which is uncommon in the male profiles I view. I think it is just luck, women don't approach that many men. i've had the smile or look which says come over and chat to me but i've never had the 'Hi, i'm such and such and was wondering etc etc etc' For the most part....Girls are better at rejection, guys are better at taking rejection.(Not based on THIS site, of course. lol) So, a woman would be devastated by walking back to her girlfriends after you said you weren't interested. A man would suck it up and try again. Have you waited out the come hither look and seen if she ever walks over or sends you a drink? From your post you give the impression you have, but I wasn't sure. If you're normally the one to strike up the convo with males, too, it's just that you're the strong personality in the room. Maybe she waves you over while you're staring at her legs and you just don't notice. ;-}

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

Why do men lie about what they want Posted: 5/24/2008 12:56:05 PM
some of the guys who sent her messages had also sent me some the same day. When we imed guys back, they said her interest which were pretty much sex and exercise matched theirs perfectly First of all, perfection is impossible. Not even a god is perfect, because if you ARE perfect you would not create imperfection, either. ANYWAY, ^^^they are trying to get LAID!!! You don't mention in a job interview you're great in the sack and you don't tell the loan officer your can lift 150lbs with your right arm. You think they're gonna say, "Well, you don't fit my requirement for someone I'd take to dinner, but if you're giving it away call me :)"? why misrepresent themselves and trick women who seriously want a long term relationship? They AREN'T. They wouldn't mind a quick hook up or a fling. Haven't you gone to a bar and tried the nachos? Came for the drinks, had a snack. I'll try to translate into Womanese: Haven't you ever gone shoe shopping and found a great pair of socks? Picked up a pack of gum at the checkout? -Think of the IEs as an impulse buy for some men. What about something you've wanted for a while, but didn't want to spend that much, drive out to the factory, or you had to special order it and you find it ON SALE? -Think of IEs as a wish list item on sale.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

When women wear skirts... Posted: 5/23/2008 3:10:06 PM
My bad, somebody spank me. is there an S&M smiley? maybe : ?

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

When women wear skirts... Posted: 5/23/2008 2:54:04 PM
I sound typically American? When did Canada become the 51st state??? Well, she may have meant continent, not nation. Your are the typical "North American"? But, to your question. While all men and women are different, blah , blah, disclaimer, fake 90% of all groups, etc: If a girl runs out of the house in a towel chasing the pet or child who ran out the front door, NO, she is NOT trying to get you to look. If a girl grabs the mail in her nightgown trying to duck between the cars, normally, she's not trying to get you to look. If a woman has done her hair, make up and is not running an errand as fast as she can, Yeah, she wants you to look. You can make eye contact with the nipples, just make eye contact with her sometimes. Short skirts are for men's attention. Jewelry is for other women's attention.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 61 (view)

Is replying to messages straight away a desperate act? Posted: 5/23/2008 11:22:47 AM
Take it easy! If, in two months, we get a post about some psycho cyber stalker who is obessed with legs and even found her after she closed her last three accounts, I'm comin' back and blaming you, leg man!

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 59 (view)

Is replying to messages straight away a desperate act? Posted: 5/23/2008 10:28:29 AM
But... then how can i analyse the situation and rectify my mistake if i have nothing to go on? Rarely executed tactic, but you could always try it: paying attention. LOTS of advice has come your way and you are having trouble accepting how dull you seem. Legs. Mmmm...legs. Show me the legs!! .... C'mon, just show me the legs! No legs? You're so mean, I was hoping for legs!!! aaaaaw Please show me the legs? Try reading the ice breaker comment. You quoted my whole post but did you READ anything besides the penis stroking? "sound like" is not, "proof that you are and no other option." It SOUNDS LIKE you're doing x, because when you are INCAPABLE of telling her anything besides, "I want your legs" what other conclusion can we come to but, you ONLY want her legs. That is the only thing you've mentioned in all your oppourtunity, so what would make her think there is anything else? It's not like you're giving her much, just leg comments. Since you did not state you are a prosthetics person and looking for a good leg mold, you are likily just a regular guy who values nothing but her legs. Most commonly that would be sexual. We aren't MIND READERS!!! You've got a metric truck load to go on, "nice guy." But, you do have to read them.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Shambhala Posted: 5/23/2008 10:08:29 AM
People who claim to be zen, Buddhists and pacifists are the MOST violent people I've met and I live in redneck country! We call them "hippiecrits." It's like bible thumpers to christians. We admit it isn't a christian thing, we just can't call them, "The people who claim to be Christian but don't practice." Too long, "Bible Thumpers." "The people who claim to be vegan but eat cheese burgers while wearing leather," Hippie-crits. Real hippies are fabulous. Hippie-crits are like bible thumpers at a drum circle: just too rude and ignorant. A REAL buddhist shouldn't even care about the name! She should be more pleased you remembered or HEARD of her belief system.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

Guy forgets your name after one chat Posted: 5/23/2008 9:28:53 AM
If her name WAS Mulva, I could see why she's upset. You should remember that. If you said her name was the same as your mother's, you should remember that. If you discussed her name in detail, you're both weird and you should remember her name. Other than that she's just waving the psycho red flag. Side note: some people's names are HARD!!! You know it's either Toni, Teri, Tori, or Bob, but you just can't remember. If you care that much about your name put it in your username. That's some harcore issues right there. But, it is always nice when you get the red flag BEFORE meeting someone. What would dinner with her be like? Waiter: May I take your drink order miss? Mulva: Neiby, what's my favorite drink? You: Um.... Mulva: I told you my favorite fruit, yesterday WHAT DRINK HAS MY FAVORITE FRUIT?! You: Testicles on the rocks with a twist?

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 50 (view)

Is replying to messages straight away a desperate act? Posted: 5/23/2008 9:13:29 AM
would have become more serious probably on the next message or the one after that So, you've broken the ice with humor and flirts....you continue beating the living crap out of the ice with flirts and ignoring her opening...You PLAN to whack away at the ice for at least one more email before telling her ANYTHING? The ice is water now, you're beating a bowl of water, not breaking the ice. Serve the damn drink already! If you're going to whine about her not giving you what you want at least add ONE sentence that doesn't sound like you're stroking your penis waiting for her to cyber pleasure you!!!!!!!!!! As one poster mentioned you refused to say anything about ANYTHING but her body. And you didn't even attack it as a whole. Just the legs. Not complimenting anything else. A poster mentioned your profile, but I didn't glance at it because I don't care all that much....If her profile is filled out and yours is not you ought to say SOMETHING. She's giving you the chance to tell her something beyond the four traits she already knows: You are attracted to her, you are attracted to her legs, you are male, and your screenname. You've given her nothing more than a construction worker yelling cat calls. How many stories do you hear about women taking them up on it? "How did you know daddy was the one?" "When he tilted his hat and told me my legs go well together but they'd be better apart with him between them." ^^^Is that the common tale? You know WHY it isn't the common tale?

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

Is replying to messages straight away a desperate act? Posted: 5/22/2008 9:06:02 PM
Pray tell, does any man have a chance in hell of ever getting a date? Your first contact must be: "Dear [username]. I am pleased to meet you, your highness. I, too, am entralled with [interest]. My SSN is [*--****] my [FDIC bank] online account user name is [duh] the password is [guess what]. Please glance at my finances to know I am not merely another whiney nice guy after your body. I have included my photos, as you can see I am [famous, attractive man mentioned in her profile]'s twin. I work for globosex, an intenational vibrator manufacture. That you have graced my message with your eyes has brought my heart a flutter. [your full name and all contact information, including every woman you have ever slept with as references]"

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Was separated... now divorced. Posted: 5/22/2008 8:55:53 PM
So most women, even if they would have been interested other than the separated status, would not have made a comment to that effect? The GOOD ones won't. Until the divorce is final you count as a married. Inviting someone to cheat isn't a good idea, nor is coaxing the guy to speed up the divorce. Trying to form a line is a little crass, too. "Put me in your black book for later reference." If the woman only told you she wasn't interested because you're still married/not competely divorced, that IS Womanese for, "Call me when you dump the b1tch." If she said something along the lines of, "you shouldn't be here if you're married." She won't be interested, anyway. She's of the "once a cheater, always a cheater" herd and the gals in that herd won't be the other woman.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Was separated... now divorced. Posted: 5/22/2008 8:35:32 PM
Depends on the contact. You're the newly divorced, not her, right? "wanna fvck" no. "Signed the last bit of paperwork, so what's up on your end of the net?" sure. "Call me when this marriage goes in the pooper" could sound like a homewrecker in some women's minds, so they won't say it and she won't cyber stalk you if she has any class. So, you could just inform her.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

THREE DAYS? Posted: 5/22/2008 5:22:29 PM
Dude, is this your first account here or have you re-vamped it froma previous account? Three days and you're wigging out? Three days is no where near enough time to start judging someone on response time!

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Is replying to messages straight away a desperate act? Posted: 5/22/2008 5:18:19 PM
It would be nice to have a CLUE what type of conversation went on. Was her reply too polite a refusal and that's why she didn't respond? I've sent messages such as, "Sorry but[cite reason such as not moving or "I'm not meeting you in the next fifteen minutes"]. Have fun fishing!" And the guy replied with either a rebuttle, an angry message, a whine. Normally, they just leave it be. Don't play games, just do what you want and what you think is right. There are times I don't repond to a guy in the same session because I read the note right before logging off. Maybe they replied because they're tired of guys complaining in the forums about girls ignoring their first contact? You know what is a BIG deal to some people? If they asked you two important questions and you completely ignored it! I've played that game with a few guys. I ask them the same question four messages in a row before I say, "I keep answering your questions and you NEVER answer the one I keep asking you. It was fun while it lasted. Good luck fishing."

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Pity sex... Posted: 5/22/2008 2:16:31 PM
Personally, I've only ALMOST pity sexed one guy. I was 19, his divorce took two years(not just someone dropping the ball, constant back and forth, divorce lawyer's DREAM), most of the people at the party had been very insensitive to him. Instead, I just got him drunk, a friend helped me put him in the back seat of his car and found a used pair of panties from one of the people who lived at the house to put on the gear shift, hoping the thought would help. "The thought that counts" and all that. A few of my friends have pity sexed someone. Not all of them were virgins, a lot of them were just sad, sad males. Pity sex and "giving in" aren't the same, imo. A LOT of my friends have given into begging. A girl I used to camp with pity sexed a 30 year old virgin and that is why she got kicked out of the group. (Not because of the sex, but that she wouldn't talk to him anymore and told everyone EVERYthing about it... some choice phrases are still burned in my memory)

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

"Emotional" Posted: 5/22/2008 1:43:17 PM
Just that kind of emotional? Pfft. Totally OK to cry at ASPCA commercials, get misty at movies and enjoy songs to the fullest. I don't cry at commercials and the last time I cried at a movie was watching "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" on the big screen(If I remember correctly that was 1989, so I was 7). That doesn't mean it would bother me if someone else did. Crying after sex isn't bad, either, it's just rare for both genders. Clingy and needy are not the same as expecting not to be blown off. You should be equal in the relationship, of course having a giver and a taker in a relationship isn't as rare as it should be. I consider clingy to be you both can't have your own lives. If you try to get a job at her company because you can't stand being apart that might be a red flag that you are a tad too codependant. As posted by other the levels of clingy vary. If someone followed me to the bathroom just to be with me: clingy. If someone dropped by every day just to visit: not clingy. I don't like people filling my message machine with babble, some people don't mind it. If you really are too clingy, it is more about your lack of satisfaction with yourown life. If that's just a buzzword someone uses as an excuse there's nothing wrong with your amount of attention. you're as good a male role model as Michael Jackson is a babysitter. You sound, fine, healthy and observant to me. I'll chalk up your lack of good women to age. You just haven't dated enough people, yet.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Clingy? Posted: 5/22/2008 11:00:47 AM
Clingy is bad. Does, "Too emotional" mean "ran over my brother because he hugged me" or "cries after sex"? Initially, you just have to hold back. Since you are aware of it the things you think to be clingy try to not do them. And while you're doing that, try to have more fun by yourself and schedule events you enjoy. Sign up for Habitat for Humanity or something that you can do, feel good about and you will not feel such a strong need to cling to people. It isn't an over night thing, but once you don't feel as clingy you won't have to hold back and be quite as hypersensitive. I wouldn't reccomend changing how emotional you are unless you're the green eyed monster or something equally as creepy. Oh and don't listen to anyone who says drop the gaming. Find another gamer, or someone who doesn't mind, don't drop a favorite activity just to find someone, nothing good will come of it.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

Restaurant Seating Posted: 5/22/2008 10:19:21 AM
This is why first dates should be something fun, instead of just sitting. I've left for that. The first time I meet someone and they block me in?! Hell, no. If we're at a decent place I tell him to move, if we're at a fast food place I slip under the table and sit on the other side. Nothing cute about blocking someone in, if it is a double date, you don't have the choice, but that doesn't make it ok on a private date. Just like I wouldn't park behind a guy's car if I were picking him up from his house. If you need to be close on the first date, don't go to a restaurant or take the advice of not sitting in a booth. Go to a pool hall, a ball game, some volunteer event, anywhere you can be close without trapping her. I know you're talking about colonge, but if your natural scent is rather arousing: CANCER RACE!!! Then you get to show up clean, colongey and fresh, end up all sweaty and manly. If you trap me just to get me to smell it, scent means nothing, the only thing I care about less would be how well you plucked your unibrow. If I catch a wiff a few times during the date and it is pleasant it is a lovely attribute.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

intrested in two people at work, can I date both? Posted: 5/21/2008 5:12:12 PM
Diaster for you, her or both? If you just got beat up by her ex, then nothing wrong with asking the other girl out. Her or both: listen to TDZ. He, obviously, doesn't have to wear a condom every time so he's got the brains.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

When you compliment a man's penis are you sincere? Posted: 5/20/2008 8:01:22 PM
I'm assuming by "package per se" you mean penis. If you mean penis, scrotum and/or testicles this applies for the most part. If you ASKED for her opinion on the subject, she is trying to stroke your ego or feels you are too self conscious she could very likily give a fake comliment. If she's just messing with your head she'll give you a fake compliment. I would HOPE that when a spontaneous compliment leaves her mouth she's being honest, the fake compliments are normally about personality or in defense of your sexual prowess or organs. If the guy manscapes I could see a good reason for a compliment. I'm impressed by a shaved scrotum; I don't know if I had testicles if I would have the balls to go at them with any tools. I'm not saying I'm attracted to a shaved scrotum, just that I see he spent time and was skilled.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 50 (view)

Flowers. An opinion, please. . . Posted: 5/20/2008 2:37:20 PM
Here my love, I have taken something beautiful and killed it, so that you will watch it wither and die over the next few days. I did this to show you how I feel about you. EXACTLY!!! Might I add rose buds are virgins. MOST cut flowers are virgins, how often have you put the flowers in water and in a few days noticed, "Oh, rose hips!" Does this not creep anyone else out? "Here are beautiful, dying virgins that made me think of you. Nuture them in vain, they will die before getting laid." WHY did they make you think of me???? I mentioned to one date about flowers, he said you buy them for a beautiful person because the flowers are beautiful. I said, "Isn't that why Frankenstein's monster threw the girl in the lake?" The next date he brought me a bouquet of brunette doll heads on a stick, I lost a few inches of my butt laughing. I have to admit that is the only bouquet I kept. All the rest went into the compost pile or weren't flowers and used. 2 random things that I wouldn't call romantic but just GOOD gifts: I was talking to him on the phone after a party(where we first met) and couldn't find a pen in the first four rooms I tried. When he showed up at home depot(the next time I met him) He brought a pack of pens and pencils he collected from trade shows and never used. Cheap but SOOO sweet! A blind date who's entire knowledge of me besides I was, "A really good friend, you'll like her" was a txt message, "eat meat allergic to elm shell pay for your gas but bring $ for food" brought me a rose bush, a pizza and had a postholer in his truck to plant it.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

90% of women go for the top 10% do men do the same? Posted: 5/20/2008 1:42:44 PM
You see more women with ugly men than men with ugly women. But, very few men wear make up. You shoot for the stars, of course, but you kept realistic standards. .... Having said that, my emotional response is 90% of men go for 85% of women and wouldn't turn down 14%.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 98 (view)

men: would you hold your significant others purse in public Posted: 5/20/2008 11:37:25 AM
I see a few things wrong with it. Seems like a maturity thing to me. After a certain age, mommy no longer carries your stuff. I don't expect an infant to carry their own diaper bag, you don't put the four year old incharge of his granola bars for the duration of the trip, nor would I make someone put their wheelchair in the trunk by themselves. If you are an able bodied adult in a normal situation who can't take responsibility for your items, why should he? If you know you're going to dance or in any way be inhibited by a purse, don't take it. Wallet, IDs, a little bit of make up, cell phone and a pen can get stashed in many places. It's also not rude when the guy says no when you ask. It is rude if he goes through it, but that's a lot of temptation, anyway. What is so important you had to take it with you, but don't need to keep it with you. I bet if guys DID go through the purse they'd never hold it after that once they see what she brought.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Some of these are perfectly normal! Posted: 5/20/2008 11:05:18 AM
2) Are you sure you`ve had enough to drink? Wasn't it the point of going out? You don't leave the restaurant hungry either! 4) Shouldn't you be down the pub with your mates? Because, girl's night is about to start and I don't want you hanging around 5)That fart was great! Do another one. If you woke up the dog or scared the cat with it, that is REALLY funny. 6) I`ve decided to stop wearing clothes in the house. Less laundry. 7) you`re so sexy with a hangover, mainly because you're quiet you don't get in the way. 8)I`d rather go play virtual fighter then go shopping. Anything is more fun than shopping! 9) Let`s start subscribing to penthouse. The photos are dull but those "dear penthouse" kill me. 11) Just for a change can we try anal sex tonight? If you're both STD free, this is called birthcontrol. If not...Best put by one of my friends, "Honey, sometimes the coochie gets tired." 12) I really like footy, can you take me to a game? I get toasted at games for shushing the people talking and not letting people walk infront of the TV. And when you actually go and attend a game you better yell more than you yell at the screen at home! 13) I think a big motorbike a good idea! If you're heading out to MotoFun, grab me a gallon of the organic oil to help me break my new one in. 14) I don`t care if my bum looks big in this..Let`s go and get pissed. I'd say drunk, plastered or something because I'm American 16) Aim where you like..It`s really good for my skin.. I mentioned the birthcontrol thing, right? Afterwards, you go to sleep, I'll grab an avacado and rub this in.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 53 (view)

car anaologies Posted: 5/20/2008 10:26:38 AM
once you've driven a few, you still often order a new one... One that's NOT been driven before! If you don't have the money for the payments on the new one, you go with the one your friend isn't using anymore because he keeps getting an infection from the rusty shell. My dad's second marriage was a family exactly 10 years in the past. The new wife was 10 years to the month younger than mom and looked like she could be a sister. The kids' genders were switched, but their ages were the same as my brother and I were a decade ago... Why would you trade in your old model for the same old model?

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

am I making a mistake? Posted: 5/19/2008 11:06:17 PM
he does not want a girlfriend in his life right now I don't mean to betray my gender.... but, why would you want to be something he doesn't want. Isn't that like giving a woman who never fishes a tackle box? He was clear and you were only trying to change him, so I don't see what he did wrong. You are on the back burner and he didn't lie or try to hide it.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 40 (view)

test drive before buying? Posted: 5/19/2008 10:51:13 PM
Well, you don't always buy the same car you test drive, you order the one you want, so as long as we're saying each model is one person, not each individual car, I can go with this analogy. Yeah, you test drive before buying. I'd say you more lease to own before buying because the test drive analogy means you have sex on the FIRST date with EVERYONE. Some people might like that, I certainly wouldn't since most guys want to meet after the first email! lol So, lease to own means there is some commitment, but after the contract you decide to either buy that car or dump it and lease another. You really should avoid comparing a sex partner to property, to their face. Even comparing a guy to a puppy isn't a pleasant thing. I love a good metaphor, you just can't follow them blindly: If at first you don't succeed- .... sky diving ain't for you!

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Women and wedding rings Posted: 5/19/2008 10:34:50 PM
Are you sure they're divorced? You could always talk to the people you gossip about. Get the info straight from the horse's mouth. If it isn't just gossip, you know they are divorced and that is their wedding ring, when they told you, why didn't you ask? They would know better than anyone else on the internet, even others you've seen but didn't ask might not know the reasons of the others. If they really are divorced: They paid for the ring they get to wear the ring. It isn't their wedding ring it is just a ring. It was an heirloom. If you're just asking why women wear their rings in an untraditional way: It meant more to them on a different finger for personal reasons. It used to be the index finger, anyway, ring finger is based on an Egyptian autospy where they thought there was a big important striaght path to the heart. (Emphasis on BIG, since, yeah tons of stuff goes to the heart.) Pregnant women wear it on a chain because it no longer fits. Speaking of no longer fitting...if it didn't fit in the first place, you wear it on a chain or another finger until you take it to the jeweler. If you play guitar professionally or constantly, you wear it on your right hand so it never hits the neck. If you don't like to wear rings at work you wear it on a chain. You know how left handed people wear their watch on the right? I don't like wearing rings on my right hand because I am right handed and don't like the feel of writting with a ring on. So, lefties, again. It isn't their ring it is their husband's. (former, sickly, otherwise not wearing his for reasons only they know.) They just haven't made it to the volcano, yet. Once they do, they're throw it in and destroy it, read the last few pages of LoTR...

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

COMMUNICATION MALFUNCTION ? Posted: 5/19/2008 10:04:21 PM
You might be his drunk dial. If he's an angry drunk he's txting you. If you aren't ready to block him, just mentally ignore him. When a txt from him comes in, delete it. I'd block him because while I have plenty of txt messages available, I don't have unlimited. You REALLY don't have to respond to everyone. When a bible thumping hippie-crit tells me I'm going to hell for eating cheese, I don't have to respond. I normally say, "I appreciate your concern for my soul. I hope this is the worst stress you have today and it only gets better all week." If they're wearing leather I ask if it was part of their inheritance from a cow. You are allowed to roll your eyes at insults and go on with your life. Don't waste your time trying to teach him how to be a civil person. Just like some cats can't be litter trained, some people can't be civil. He is NOT looking for a conversation!!!! He just wants to insult you. He doesn't want to debate how much of a b1tch you may be or whatever he's telling you. in a serious relationship, talks should always be done in person I made this mistake as a teenager. Her cell phone normally lost signal(the days before the phone would display "call lost" instead of "call ended") so when she hung up, I kept calling back, I wasn't going to ignore her opinions just because the signal was weak. If you can, always finish the fight so you can fix the problem.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

First date ? Posted: 5/19/2008 8:42:29 PM
If you don't know what flowers to get her don't get them. When someone sends me cut flowers I see it as, "Oh, something for the compost pile. That could've been spent on, well, anything useful. Like the fuel it took to get them over here." It is a retarded practice. People do it for deaths in the family, too. Yes, when I'm faxing death certificates around the the US I want to deal with other people's trash. If you've spoken to her for a while and she's never mentioned anything related to flowers, why would you get her flowers? If she's mentioned gardening, why would you get her cut flowers? Get something with roots, but don't bring them to the restaurant. What do flowers say? Unless she's stated she loves flowers, they normally say, "I have no clue about you, so I'll assume you're a movie stereotype." If she hasn't said anything about flowers it is rather silly. Would you get her chocolates just because they're always at the counter during valentine's day? You should have SOME clue about someone's interests when you set up a meet. Do women remember the first date more than the first kiss? Seriously, dude, we remember whatever you screwed up most. If you hit your head on anything during the first date, we remember that. If she is allergic to a certain flower that just happens to be the majority of the bouquet, she'll remember that.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

You know you are poor when.... Posted: 5/19/2008 8:28:01 PM
You not only know which brand of Ramen is cheaper by 1.1 cents per package, but you actually care. You get all giddy when a charity sends you return address labels because you can save ink. You shop at "Hal's Thrift" because you think Goodwill and the Salvation Army are too pricey. You buildt a solar oven because you aren't paying good money to boil your 6cent ramen when three mirrors you picked up on the curb work just fine. You call your poor co-worker, "Rockefeller," because he buys ramen in the styrofoam.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

How do you know a guy is into you? Posted: 5/19/2008 7:18:04 PM
Which question do you want answered? Indeed, Ray. These are two COMPLETELY different questions. How do you know if he's into you? Simple. The joys of the penis. ASK HIM. To make up a number, 90% answer this honestly. This question is not one that scares the penis holders. Being exclusive? That is a discussion and, normally a compromise. I'm normally the one in the relationship that says, "Pfffft. Exclusive? Were you planning on getting some tonight? I wasn't." But, everyone is different. This discussion is the same as the sex discussion. Follow these simple rules and you're always ready: If you don't have the balls to ask if they have an STD, you don't get sex. If you aren't comfortable discussing a ban on dating other people, you don't get to be exclusive. "pressure in your pelvic area,silly grin on his face," Coolguy24 states, helping my claim that men are honest. No sugar coating, no beating around the bush, no "well if the guy holds your purse when you're shopping," as long as he's not someone in retail and you're confusing his friendliness with passion, guys are just easier to read and when you ask them simple questions they give you the answer. "Do I look fat?" Is a simple question, but the negative feedback has taught many men this is a trick question. ...Side note on simple questions. Please stop asking eachother, "Do I look that stupid?!" in public. That is just mean to all the people around you holding in laughter and comments similar to, "Hell, yeah, ya do!"

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Not a problem with honesty. Just content. Posted: 5/19/2008 11:13:58 AM
I scared the children. ...................... I always thought we got on pretty well given that both were autistic. red flag dance Save the red flag army for deeper conversations. When someone asks a question that is borderline none of their business it isn't about you keeping secrets, it is your own damn business. Why did you get divorced, imo is on the same level ask, so what did you ex say was bad about your sex life? Yes, we'd all LOVE to have complete profiles where sexual, emotional, financial and family evaluations are ready to read through after first contact, but we are still afforded a right to some privacy and forgiveness. #5 will be a big deal to a lot of people, it is a discussion topic, not something to list along with the rest of the wife's complaints. If you mentioned this to me in passing it would need discussion at the first block of time available or be an end to our social relationship. When I was in highschool, my mother worked for a family law office. "She says I scare the children." Is what men who beat their kids say. It is also what the completely fabulous fathers say when divorcing a psycho b1tch. I think you should put serious thought into, "Is this really her business right now?" Look at it this way: "What's your physical address?" Perfectly legit question at the right time. Not for first contact. Really should happen before you agree to meet. Don't lie, just find a phrase that makes you comfortable that expresses you really don't feel the question is appropriate at this time in your relationship.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 44 (view)

age and reality Posted: 5/19/2008 10:43:49 AM
Under 30 = go for it. Over 30 = take it slow / no way. I think it is acceptance of modern reality. The younger people know that dating anyone is no big deal, dating someone does not always lead to marriage and pfft like, she's gonna say yes anyway!!! Maybe the internet generation has accepted personality over social barriers(don't fraternize with the help) due to the anonymity of the internet and "the help" is equal socially to most people? Anyone who knows anything about retail is warning you about the difference between flirting and good customer service. Because, contrary to a few peoples' beliefs not everyone CAN(or chooses to) tell the difference. We don't know you well enough to even guess if you can tell. As long as you can take rejection and have a basic brain to mouth filter you should ask anyone anything that isn't stopped by the filter, of course. What's the worse that can happen? You get her fired. But, the worst that can happen to you personally is she turns out to be a psycho, but, hey, she said yes. Statistically, the worst that can happen is it gets a tad uncomfortable shopping for milk, most people aren't psychos. Better than angering the waitress, what's a cashier gonna do, spit in your bag of paper towels? The people telling you to go for it just don't see it as any different from all approaching potential dates/mates/friends/foes/employers. Ask out anyone, suck it up if they say no and, for the love of all that is digital, if she's a psycho POST THE FUN STORIES HERE!!!!

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Why would a woman do this??????? Posted: 5/19/2008 10:04:49 AM
Where's the issue?? Do a thread search "read/delete"!! Get over it, please! Until we get a "first contact review" nocatchy has the answer. So, until this thread is deleted for being the 8 billionth read/delete/blocked/ng/why I ain't getting no lovin' post, here's your answer: -Blocking you is a personal choice, not psycho behavior. Sending you an email which was all asterisks except for "how," "you," "and," and a few punctuation marks and blocking you is psycho. -Welcome out from under your rock. Let me tell you about life and the internet. This is a FREE site. If you want to require everyone respond to every post regardless of personal preferences, profiles and content of first contact: **whineycrybabymatch.com** Get a business plan together, get a loan, build that ^^^ website. Make it a pay website. This is a free website. You can tell because you don't have to pay for it, a free account isn't any less than a pay account and there are certain little things they can't PAY people to do. Like evaluate messages people have reported as rude/psycho, compared to the person's profile so that they can screen out the psychos from the norms. You can implement ALL your rules on your own whineycrybaby site. You could call it niceguysfinishnow.tv However, I doubt the whiney people would pay. They prefer trolling the free sites, complaining no one wants their whiney @$$. Only then can you require responses from everyone and kick people off who refuse to quit their job and date all people who message them 24/7.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 86 (view)

Going on a date...as is, would you do it? Posted: 5/19/2008 9:45:07 AM
You're not busy...just hanging around the house, kinda bored. I don't understand this situation in the least. If you had no plans, why didn't you make plans to meet, anyway? You were obviously free, you knew you would be, or something got canceled and you had absolutely no back up plans? This must be why guys get so angry when I tell them I can't meet them after one email. People here are doing nothing else. After work: no plans, appointments, housework. On the weekends: no plans, appointments, housework. Brings more ammo to my knee jerk reaction to "spontaneity." Code for, "I was bored anyway, so I started going down the list to see who's free." If I'm ever in the situation where all the plans fell through at the last minute and I have no backlog of work or errands, yes, I'd go down the list seeing who is available and not wig out about how anyone looked, since I never do anyway in a social situation. The last time all my plans fells through at the last minute and I had an hour of nothing I needed to do, I was in a restaurant cracking up, txting friends to see who was free since my blind date, who set the table on fire moments ago, ran out screaming, drove off and left me stranded.

9035768

Joined: 9/20/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Ever been compared to a guys ex gf/wife? Posted: 5/19/2008 8:19:14 AM
Yes. The comparison isn't bad by itself. It is only bad when it is not a proper comparison. Pointing out similarities: fine. Pointing out differences in personality: fine. Saying your ex used to do this and why can't you do this if you love me: #1 Did your ex do this for you two months in? I didn't think so, after five years of relationship equity, I might go that far out of my way, too.(or, "was that before or after she married you and spent 10% more than you earned?") #2 I don't love you, hon, we've just started dating. Are guys upset about all three or just the 3rd? The first two get annoying after a while, but the third makes me want to get out the graphs, call the ex and work up a presentation. If the current ex knows the future ex, the comparison thing is a VERY bad idea. Don't put your future ex in the position to say, "LMAO, she did not, she bought it!" or, "I'm not telling everyone in my office about it, either. You know that's why everyone stares at you at the xmas party, right?"

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