Panties chat & forums.

Posted In Forum:

Home

MyForums

Show ALL Forums

Author

Thread: Panties

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 120 (view)

Panties Posted: 11/22/2009 5:40:04 PM
Panties sounds way better than "Depends" which some of us will be wearing soon... Can you imagine the following? You're getting my _____________ wet? DEPENDS just doesn't quite do it... Get your _____________ in a bunch? Again, could be a whole six-pack of DEPENDS... I'm trying to imagine *"REDDRAGON" (Msg 12)* snapping someone's DEPENDS across the room off the end of his finger... AND having it stick to the wall... Ewww DEPENDS are unisex? So it doesn't sound more feminine or sexy than that... _____________ remover! Wow DEPENDS sounds like using a crowbar!!! Mind if I take my _____________ off? DEPENDS... Yeah you take them off!!! Soft _____________ (DEPENDS) ...Panties fits... Girly _____________ (DEPENDS) ...Panties fits... Handsome _____________ (DEPENDS) ...Boxers fit MASCULINE _____________ (DEPENDS) ...Shorts fit... Ol' fashioned _____________ (DEPENDS) Knickers or Panties fits... Thongs _____________ well the new age Flip Flops... I'm sure the list could go on and on... No ONE can be anti-DEPENDS can they? maybe aunty-DEPENDS... Cheers, ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 74 (view)

Is it Wrong to call a woman handsome? Posted: 11/22/2009 4:50:02 PM
The term "Handsome Woman" may be very becoming & fitting if she were a TS, Transvestite and/or had a sex change, AND you complimented her, then the gender wouldn't be so hard to swallow (pardon the pun)... Hahaha... Anyway in the Western world, "Handsome" usually infers to a masculine good looks rather than the delicate attributes of great physical beauty and appeals of MOST women. If a woman had facial features that weren't feminine or delicate and had a prominent or wider nose or jaw line, she would be considered Handsome & not delicate. If you're looking for something more archaic, then a "Comely wench" would be appropriate as it infers 'a beautiful young woman." I love this tread, I mean no disrespect to either gender. It's all with tongue in cheek & being able to laugh at one's self. When my ex-wife used to refer someone as "Beautiful in her own way & smart too," all our friends said, "Yeah, you're implying that she's ugly!!!" If Divorced, Broke, Bald (DBB) (Msg 21) is Ok with being called "Handsome" & terms are interchangeable, I suppose saying that he's cute, delicate, sweet and pretty would be flattering, gracious and strikingly beautiful. Way to go GORGEOUS... LMAO I'm not flaming you, I'm laughing with you... I suppose a person could refer a woman is "Handsome" if she could kick his a-s-s any day of the week & was way stronger than he was AND she had a nicer mustache too... Eh? Hmmmm by this definition, I know lots of Handsome women!!!! Cheers, ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 79 (view)

I am breaking up with BF Today! Had ENOUGH Posted: 11/20/2009 3:08:23 AM
Sounds like someone is high maintenance. I've read your profile & your actions are contradictary to what you're saying you are... "...I am cool, easy-going, slow to anger..." "...I am also a very generous..." "I only wish for someone that is genuine in their words and actions, someone that is sincere in trying to get to know me as I would be about him..." You have certainly expressed your needs, yet you don't recognize his... Why is that? You're the one with issues, he seems like a normal guy. Ever heard that saying... "...What we have here, is a failure to communicate..." movie ~ Cool Hand Luke Expand your thinking & communication skills & research the FIVE Languages of Love. Find someone who more closely matches what you're looking for... Be willing to compromise... Your profile says the following... NOTE: If you are tired of meeting chicken heads, ghetto girls, flakey women, or any other dysfunctional types please take the time & send me a note. We could talk and possibly meet and see if there is any chemistry to start. Little boys or men who are afraid of a real woman need not apply. Learn about boundaries & expectations... If I were to tell you that everyone on POF were like flowers in a garden, what kind of flower would you be? A rose? Roses have thorns ready to come out in their defence, yet they are so fragrant & beautiful. How about him, what kind of flower would you say he is? He could be a Sunflower & you're trying to change him into a rose like yourself. Others may think that he's a pansy & you want roses out of that? Just because someone doesn't talk much doesn't mean they have anything to say. When they speak, their words could say volumes & their thought processes could be well thought out. Some people like the sound of their own voices & never let others get a word in edgewise in a conversation. There's a reason why the Creator gave us two ears and one mouth... Why do you think that was so? If you sound demanding, then he shuts down rather than getting into a confrontation with you or anyone else. Others here have given good sound advice, take the parts that apply to your situation and go with it... Cheers, ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

having a tough time. (could use alot of help.) Posted: 11/16/2009 2:18:36 PM
I read your profile & it says you're looking for "...someone that does not like drama!!! and that allows me to be myself, wants to laugh, be comfortable, and enjoy every minute..." Hmmm you are sending out mixed messages. You are stuck in your past between what you had & what you want... You're divorced!!!! Both you and your ex-husband are confused (so you say...) you may not know what you want, however you do know what you don't want, right? Go from there. When relationships end, there are a lot of little signs that the relationship is on rocky ground. Most of the time, we aren't in tune with these little signs until it's too late. A lot of the time, couples change & they forget to tell their partners, sometimes too, it's important to know that someone's needs are not being met for whatever reason. Both partners don't know how to communicate, each speaks their own love language & both are blind to each other's signals. (borrow the 5 love languages from the library). Find out what the needs are between men & women. Others have suggested going for counselling and that is a great start... Find your purpose & goal in life, once you've determined what you want, then pursue it. Get educated... How? You could start by asking yourself three questions, 1) What can I do? 2) What can I read? 3) Who can I ask? Afterall the quality of your life is determined by the quality of the questions you ask yourself. Some people get stuck in their pasts, pain, anger, egos, etc. and can't move on. Your ex-husband may be stuck, don't wait for him, seek help first for yourself. If you want change, then you must be the change that you seek. Do not wait on your ex-husband for your answers. You must have the "BE", "DO", "HAVE" attitude. What's that mean? It means that you must BE committed, to DO what it takes, to HAVE what you want. Do some inner reflection. What can you improve in your life that will attract others to you? We all have flaws... Finally when you find out where you're going, find someone or an older couple who could mentor you & your partner (may not be your ex-husband). As you grow together, you'll learn together. Hope this helps... Cheers, ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

6 month relationship Posted: 11/11/2009 9:53:23 AM
I see there are several (issues??? concerns??? whatever???) Not sure what to label them as yet... In your profile, you list "...Looking to meet cute guy and friends..." AND "...I am Seeking a Man For Dating..." When someone sends you mixed messages (including yourself), people get confused as to your intent. Change your profile to reflect your true intentions, then set your boundaries & expectations with your new partner. Do this at the beginning of the relationship, let no topic be undiscussable, read the book "Fierce Conversations ~ by Susan Scott" When someone has left a relationship & hasn't dealt with the past issues, problems arise in every relationship thereafter until the needed lesson(s) are learned & they move on... Your new significant other has issues that he needs to deal with... YOU get what you tolerate. Hmmmm you also tell us (POF pool) that he says he loves you & he's done this several times, what have you said to him? What are your intentions? Is marriage your ultimate goal? A relationship is about compromising certain things for the betterment of the relationship, a teamwork effort, we keep our individual identities & we work together as a team. A marriage license is just a piece of paper, the real marriage is the one you work on, everyday for as long as it takes, and everyone involved must buy into it (him, her, children). When my ex-wife & I were in our 30's, we found an older couple who became good friends, they were our mentors & it really worked. I would also recommend family counselling, both together & individually & as a family. Each member of the new family needs to know what they bring to the table, their expectations and boundaries. This is also a good time to bring up needs... Are your needs being met? The needs of men & women are different. Find out what they are and meet them, these needs are so strong that if they're not met, couples are tempted to go outside the relationship to meet them. It's the most significant reason why relationships break up. If you have doubts... It could be the beginning of the end or not. Listen to your inner voice, we can only offer you "general" advice, however none of us here are professionals, at least I'm not. We seek what you have found... Who knows if we were all experts, would we be here? Are you not happy? Is this person someone with whom you've fallen in love? If you can't be with the one you LOVE, then LOVE the person your with... Is what you're discussing a problem? How do you resolve problems? To solve any problem, you must ask yourself three questions 1) What can I do? 2) What can I read? 3) Who can I ask? Afterall the quality of your life is determined by the quality of the questions you ask yourself. Hope this helps... Cheers, ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 34 (view)

Those Golden Shower Posted: 10/27/2009 8:45:00 PM
PittsburghVixen (Msg 35) "...I have a beaded cancer-memorial bracelet with all the colors of the rainbow. Now I know I don't have to spend more money on the "fetish bracelets". Thanks for the heads-up!..." I certainly hear you, most of us live under a rock... Until a few years ago, I didn't know about the "Rainbow Colours" either. I loved living in my blissful ignorance... Hahaha Life was so much simplier then. The colours of the rainbow were first adopted by the Gay community. For example, the rainbow or gay pride flag was created 30 years ago by Gilbert Baker as a symbol of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender pride. Back to on-topic.... The Japanese are very much into "Golden Showers" as there are a lot of sites attributed to this fetish. What's one man's treasure is another's uhm... ah... whatever I guess... Anyway SOME liken it to the colour of GOLD... Hahaha there's gold at the end of that rainbow... LOL... Cheers, ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

Fetishes - Friend or Foe ? Posted: 10/27/2009 6:49:17 PM
I like how *"no_1_bby (Msg 30)* defined fetish by using 6 dictionary results. However I don't agree with her position that certain acts (anal, domination & humiliation, etc.) don't fall into the category of being fetishes, because they are... A fetish can be mild to the very extreme. Mild Fetish forms can include the implied dictionary terms as stated *"...Something, such as a material object or a nonsexual part of the body, that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification..."* So these terms include those body parts that are not normally used for sex (anus, ears, feet, fingers, bellybuttons, a$$ cheeks, hair, etc) to the extreme in BDSM & other forms of roleplay. People with Fetishes can get fixated on a certain body parts/objects & must have access to those areas in order to get highly aroused. Some Fetishes that I have just researched include: "...BDSM, Ballbusting, Facesitting, Being Trampled/Foot fetish, Golden Showers, Spanking, Sensationalising, Wearing Panty Hose/Rubber/CrossDressing, etc, Flashing, Gang-banging, Using Sex Toys, Vanilla/Chocolate, Exhibitionism, Midgets, Giantism, Amputeeism, Beastiality, Transvestites, Diapers, Asphyxiation, Fisting, Gay Kissing, Medical, Necrophelia, Food & Humiliation?...etc" I'm sure the list could go on forever... Looking at this list, I don't think I'll ever be that liberated to try anything, even once... Call me old fashioned... Charles1964 (Msg 37) "...Love fetish play.I think it is something that must be discussed between both the man and woman before any play begins.I'd give about anything a try once..." Are you sure that you're open to trying some of the above fetishes at least once? Wow, you have more backbone & stomach than I'll ever have... Do you know what chocolate & vanilla fetishes are? daynadaze (Msg 26) "...It wouldn't be fear I'd have to put aside, it would be boredom. A fetish is so one-sided..." I've got to commend you and Charles & a few others who would even dare to venture where very few men/women have gone before... Hahaha Do you even have an inkling of knowing what these terms mean & to which these activities imply? Hmmm it is better to let sleeping dogs lie... Or do NOT awaken the dragon... Grasshopper!!!! (means one who is still in the learning stage...) Well whatever rocks your boat I guess... It would certainly sink mine... Leave the fetishes to those who are more into it... I prefer pologamy & monogamy. What does pologamy mean? It means having one wife too many? What does monogamy mean? It means having one wife too many... LOL Just kidding... Cheers, ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 31 (view)

Those Golden Shower Posted: 10/27/2009 5:30:27 PM
Illusion Of Normalcy (Msg 31) "...I like to think of myself as an sexually liberated guy who is not afraid to be adventurous in bed... but I have to draw the line at any sex act that involves bathroom functions..." Hmmmm so Mr liberated guy, what I'm hearing you saying is that you don't draw the line on other activities to which Fetishes applies including and not limited to: "...BDSM, Ballbusting, Facesitting, Being Trampled/Foot fetish, Spanked, Sensationalism, Wearing Panty Hose/Rubber/CrossDressing, etc, Flashing, Gang-banging, Using Sex Toys, Exhibitionism, Beastiality, Asphyxiation, Fisting, Gay Kissing, Medical, Food & Humiliation?...etc" I'm sure the list could go on and on... Looking at this list, I don't think I'll ever be that liberated... I have no idea what "medical" activities is being referred to here as in a sexual context... It doesn't sound "Normal" (and I use this term very loosely...) Whatever rocks your boat I guess... It would certainly sink mine... Cheers, ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Those Golden Shower Posted: 10/27/2009 5:01:16 PM
I just googled "Golden Shower Fetish Definitions" and I see that it is a fetish which focuses on urination... Further research in the "Urban Dictionary" indicates that YOU can get "Fetish Bracelets that can be interlinked & they distinguish your fetishes to the world. They're interlocked because they are really hard to break once they're put on. Here's a generally accepted fetish guide: ///Fetish Bracelet Guide/// This is with two same colors that are interlocked. Black: S&M Blue: Bondage Lt. Blue: BDSM Green: BallBusting Lt. Green: Face Sitting Red: Trample / Footfetish Pink: Spanking Lt. Pink: Sensation White: Clothing/Material Fetish (Panty Hose, rubber, etc) Yellow: Golden Shower/Fluids Brown: Beastiality Purple: Asphyxiation Orange: Anal Gray: Fisting Gold: Oral Clear: Medical Sparkles: Food Glow blue: Humiliation So the next time you're tempted to wear coloured bracelets, be careful of the message that you're sending to those who partake in the fetish world... I would have never known had you not asked the question O/P... Wow On the lighter side "FRIENDSHIP" is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, only you can feel it's warmth... Golden showers are certainly not for me... Yuck!!!! It would piss me off!!!! (pun intended... LOL) Cheers, ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Caught between that rock and hard place Posted: 10/27/2009 12:17:20 PM
I have read your plight with some interest. Bottom LINE ~ you are a survivor, you have all the skills that you've acquired over the years to go anywhere, do anything, be anybody, and most of all... To be the destiny that you see... Don't have that "Dog-kicked-in-the-a$$ attitude" It is self-serving and self-defeating. Also just because you came from somewhere else and have made North America your home, you must live it. Do not live your life and your values to someone else's standards. They say that friends are closer than family or relatives. So do not give your friends away & the best part of it, if you want friends, be one first. Go to the person who values you, do not look back and/or get stuck in the past, unless that's where you feel most comfortable & you want... (pity) "...No matter what is decided, someone will be angry, sad, upset, heartbroken..." Have you ever heard of an article called "Are you a REASON, a SEASON, or a LIFETIME..." Are you a REASON, a SEASON or a LIFETIME When someone is in your life for a REASON. . . It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on. Then people come into your life for a SEASON. Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life. In essense, the first paragraph says that people come into your life for whatever your needs are, the stay for awhile, then for whatever reason, they force you to take a stand. In the second paragraph, it is now your turn to help someone else, then once these needs are met, they move on... In the third paragraph, You must build a strong emotional foundation that will endure time and distance, these may include people who support you, people who are important in your life. They may be your children, siblings, family, relatives, friends and acquaintances. Afterall all true friends were once strangers, weren't they? What I've learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends entirely on our dispositions and not on our circumstances. So start making a difference, first to yourself and then to the world around you. So learn to take responsibility for your own happiness. Good luck... Cheers, ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 59 (view)

WHO is more Promiscuous MEN OR LADIES ??????? Posted: 10/21/2009 2:14:28 PM
It depends on who you talk to, to quantify your research data... Regardless of where you get your information, you can use it to support your research. I'm curious though, how many men have you smelled with the woman's scent on them & where did you go? Is your research based on 1000's or just a few? Did you go to Malls? Train Stations? Goverment buildings? Politicians? Hockey Games? Football Games? DisneyLand? How about just amongst Homosexuals? Or Christians? I'm not attacking your beliefs, I'm just curious as I see you're wearing a cross. Anyway I think your assumptions are a little biased. Some areas of the country may have higher or lower promiscuity results, therefore you cannot generalize overall that the whole Western society or all cultures are that way. Now if you were talking about teens, I'd be shocked... Dr Oz's show the other night said that 50% of teens are having oral sex, 1 in 10 is having anal sex, teenage pregnancy is skyrocketing. What does this have to do with your forum topic? Well it shows that males & females are increasingly getting involved in sex at a younger age. Therefore based on the whole Western Society, teenages are more promiscuous because the data supports it. Actual facts... Now for Political Correctness... I always thought it was "Men & Women" , "Gentlemen & Ladies" , "Male & Female" , His & Hers, etc... Not "Men Or Ladies" Finally, since this is a debate, (AND I use the term loosely...) People MUST know the differences between the needs of men & women. Generally speaking... "...The most important needs for women are affection, conversation, honesty and openness, financial support and family commitment. Those for men are sexual fulfillment, recreational companionship, admiration and domestic support..." These needs are so strong that when they’re not met in a marriage or a relationship, people are tempted to go outside to satisfy them. Again the statistics support this theory globally and on a individual basis. Why are we here? What were our needs that weren't satisfied? As for esad (Msg 31) "...can we all turn our attention towards that "Chicken or Egg" debate?..." That debate was resolved, they both got laid... end of story... Unless you want to debate which one was more Promiscuous... The new debate... Q-How do you want your eggs in the morning? Ans-Egg "Unfertilized...!!!" Now who is more promiscuous? Now if we include the animal kingdom as some responders have here, as far as livestock goes, it's one bull for every 50 cows... NOW that's a lot of bull... (pun intended)... Were the cows promiscuous... Hahaha Cheers, ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 417 (view)

Decent guys: are they all either taken or gay? Posted: 10/20/2009 7:19:12 PM
YES We're GAY!!!! Let me explain... About 20 years ago, I had a biker buddy who couldn't read or write. He'd gone to the bar & he saw a really hot looking chick & he tried to pick her up. She was a little indignant at his advances & she said, "Can't you tell I'm GAY!!!" He looked at her and said, "No, I don't understand... What does GAY mean?" She said, "It means I LIKE GIRLS!!!" He said, "Wow, I like GIRLS too, so I must be GAY!!!" Yep, us decent guys MUST be all GAY!!! __________________________________________________ Really.... Setting humour aside, you'd have to define what "Decent" means to you, it's like the word "Normal" what is normal for one culture, society, or nationality is quite different for another. For example, drinking blood for some is normal, eating snails, having lots of wives, etc... The list goes on & on... Here at POF, all we can do is put our best foot forward & hope for the best... treat everyone with respect, have a little fun flirting, be kind, use humour, and have a great time making new friends. If the chemistry is there, what happens, happens... Cheers, ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 153 (view)

The three things that a man wants in a mate... Posted: 10/18/2009 3:50:03 PM
"...kmm52072 (Msg 11) says, "Let's re-write this shall we to be more 'realistic'....... Number one....Chemistry/attractiveness....first comes the looks, then comes the body (it's all about personal preference) Number two....Sexual compatibility Number three....Sense of humor...he wants someone who will laugh at is stupid jokes, you know the ones that no one else will laugh at but HIM and hopefully YOU Number four...Patience and Understanding...these are essentially tied into one because even though you understand that he can't get up off his ass to get himself a beer....You must learn to patient with his constant whinning about it Now may none of these four women ever meet, it's like I used to tease my ex-wife, "May my love, my sweetheart, my girlfriend, and my wife never meet..." She was good about the teasing because she said she was all four..." I laughed and agreed with her. Sometimes a person's mental illness gets in the way & they do things inappropriately, I did not slight her for her actions in the end. It was better to part on good terms for as they say, "Good endings make good beginnings..." Cheers, ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 173 (view)

What do you think about people who have psychics' readings? Posted: 10/10/2009 6:29:33 PM
There are three things to remember about the psychic world... A Psychic's motto is... "...A fool and his money are my best friends..." All my imaginary friends dropped me because their friends didn't think I existed... When you're praying to God, it's religion, when you're talking to God, you're nuts. I like what DaveB951 Msg 15 said "...I would assume all the psychics were on vacation on 9 /11 ..." Now isn't that the God-awful truth? Psychics, Psychos, and the Paranormal... All painted with the same brush, just as with the Father, the Son, and the Spook... They cried, "...Praise Alah dammit..." Didn't the psychics see the signs... Hints maybe??? ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 39 (view)

Getting over Shyness? >.> Posted: 10/10/2009 1:51:46 AM
minako79 Msg 14 "...I find toastmasters international is a good way..." Now that is sound advice, I used to be shy too, very much, now I want to be a motivational speaker. Public speaking whether you are talking to someone or in a group setting takes courage. 20 years ago I taught adult basic math and computers in College, I only did it for one semester. I hated it because I would rather be at the back of the class than in front of it. Then I got into politics because I wanted to make a difference to my community. I volunteered, so whatever you do, go outside of your comfort zone. Continually challenge yourself and learn the skills you need, it gets easier when you practice. Now I can walk in anywhere, talk to anybody, we all have a wealth of information that we can rely on, our experiences, where we lived, our careers, interests, the weather, news, you name it. I tell stories as well, bottom line, if you want to dance, you gotta stand. Same with swimming, you gotta get wet... and I don't mean standing in the rain... Volunteer where you can, take on tasks, work outside your comfort zone, give little speaches, treat everyone as a friend, be kind, Oh and don't forget to SMILE... A smile opens many doors and is the universal language, it is so easy to do that even a baby understands... If you help enough people get what they want, you too will be rewarded by getting what you need... I was watching Dr Oz this morning and this girl had a big red blemish or birth mark across the rightside of her face, they put corective medical cosmetic makeup over her redness, then to the patient's surprise, the make up girl also had the same condition, you couldn't even tell she was wearing any makeup. The girl was so elated about herself, it made such a difference... Toastmasters teaches you about Roberts Rules of Order, time management, impromptu speaking, reading, voice modulation, word whiskers such as "Uh, ah..., etc" eye contact, and most of all confidence. Remember to give it all you've got, you only get out of it what you put in... Be willing to take risks, learn from your mistakes and continually move forward. Give yourself some timelines, achievable ones, it reminds me of this one story of a clock. They asked a clock if it would tick 31 million times a year. The clock said, "NO Way that's way too much..." So they asked the clock if it would tick once every second, the clock said, "Sure I can do that..." Little did the clock know that it was ticking over 31 million times a year. So take little steps to get where you're going, measure your progress, and be happy with your accomplishments. Good luck... ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Help with my new profile Posted: 9/5/2009 9:59:05 PM
I agree that a few more pictures would do it, have some close-up shots, full profile shots, etc. I love your profile shot, you look great... You have a lot of interests, mostly from a feminine perspective. Are there any other interests that you could do as a couple once you're in a relationship. How do you feel about sports? Car shows, golf, drag racing, stock car racing, fishing, boating, canoeing or even kayaking and/or skiing? In your "About Me" section, I'd separate the points about you and what you're looking for in a separate paragraph. Who is your target group, what sort of men are you attracted to? Athletic, Political, Business, Blue collar, Firefighters, Risk takers, who? Read some books on successful dating tips. There are many at the local public library, as with anything in life, it is learning a new skill, relationships are skill based. Learn about the differences between the needs of men & women. Above all have the "BE", "DO", "HAVE" attitude which means " BE committed, to DO what it takes, to HAVE what you want..." Decide now to become an expert on those things that support life and love through intimacy, communication, forgiveness, trust, giving and receiving, commitment and letting go. First Dates can be fun, no expectations or whatever, it's getting to meet face-to-face and to see if there is any chemistry. Everything comes into play, the visual, the verbal and non-verbal body language, etc. So keep it light, expect nothing, hope in everything. From reading your intentions on the first date, I get the feeling that I would be dating you for the next thirty or forty years. We really pack our sentences with (paragraphs) on every word. The reader doesn't have your experiences for how much meaning you place on each word. And don't worry about spelling errors, I don't. Would you be worried about that when we're talking face-to-face? Of course not. Imagine as you are writing your profile, that I am sitting across from you (not literally me, but the man of your dreams). What would you be saying? What topics would you talk about? I call this the "Ice Breaker" speech. Since only you know everything there is to know about you, talk about yourself without disclosing too much. Ask leading questions. What is it about watching snowfalling that excites you? What kind of dreams do you have? Where have you gone camping? What do you like/dislike about camping? What kind of conversations do you think are great? Why? It's good to have lots of eye contact and smiling... So as you write or edit your profile, smile as you do so, the reader will feel it on the other side. We all have stories about life's experiences. What's the funniest you've ever had or heard of? Hope this helps... ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Dating etiquette; is it required on-line? Posted: 8/24/2009 9:37:51 PM
Dating etiquette is required everywhere!!! Live to your highest values and expect nothing less. What does it mean? It means don't sweat the small stuff, just move on and chalk it up as experience. Life is too short to worry about why someone did this or that... And if you start telling lies, when will it stop? You don't have to blurt out the absolute truth all the time, especially if it's going to be hurtful. There are three rules, "...Don't criticize, condone, or condemn..." and ask yourself, "What is the worst that could happen?" followed by "Nothing is so bad until worse happens..." Everything in between is just inconvenience. Life is about choices... Choose the positive memorable ones... Listen to your intuition, your inner voice, it will never steer you wrong... I think "Bucsgirl ~ Msg 15" called it a good BS detector... Best of Luck... ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Not getting many replies - Profile that bad?? Posted: 8/24/2009 8:27:17 PM
No wonder you get READ-DELETED!!!! LOL Would you put your opening statement on your resume? "...Cute/Rich Seeks Short-Sighted/Gullible..." Of course not. Use your positive qualities. You're 26, young, adventurous, smart, etc... Here's a QUESTION, "How did you get into IT?" Obviously you studied up on your WORK, the same would have to apply to relationships too. Use the same concept, study your subject, have that "BE, DO, HAVE" attitude, which means "BE committed, to DO what it takes, to HAVE what you want..." Have you ever read the book "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne? She talks about the Secret that reveals the natural law that is governing all lives. By applying the knowledge of this law, you can change every aspect of your life. This is the secret to prosperity, health, relationships and happiness. This is the secret to life. What is your target audience? Are they geeky "women" like yourself? I've read some POF men who have never had a message sent to them in over 7 YEARS!!! Why? Because it's hard to change old habits. Some people are stuck in their pasts, their anger, their bitterness, their fear, etc... They've built so many barriers around themselves no one can reach them. Ever watch a young child, they walk into a group of other children and they play, no fears, no geekyness, and very limited barriers... The world is forever changing, change is inevitable, we must learn to adapt. You YOURSELF should know, in the past 5 years, how much has IT Professionalism changed? Exactly and you've adapted, so do it with the opposite sex too. By admitting you "Sing Badly" it shows your insecurity, instead use this as a positive, eg. "I'm outgoing, willing to take chances, even singing karaoke, why? BECAUSE I'm alive..." Watch people who drip with Charisma, don't you just envy them? They could be as dumb as a rock, however they know what they're about, they read the non-verbal signs and can walk into any situation and have the babe you were just dying to be with hanging on their arms. Again read the SECRET... Good luck... ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Marriages Fatal Flaw Posted: 6/10/2009 11:27:48 PM
Masculinist (Msg 6) ...Child support is not in question. I agree with child support, and I pay a Shtload of it ( I would rather have custody and a paycheck, and I know many father's who agree)... "Silken Fire" questions the validity of this statement... It's possible not to have children & pay child support. I met a woman who had 5 children when I first met her, I accepted them without question because when you meet someone with children, the relationship is a package deal... All or nothing... Had I adopted them, I would've been responsible for paying child support when the relationship ended. We parted on good terms for we saw that our dreams of a better future together were not the same & our journeys lie in a different path. I agree with the O/P's statement in that it doesn't have to be the parent with the most financial stability, it's the parent who can provide the "BEST ENVIRONMENT" for their children. MOST mothers do this, even if they can't provide to do so financially. It has to do with being able to give 100% quality time, dedication, patience, and above all LOVE. However there are a few who are in the situation like 'Keiper (Msg 13)' who will go to the ends of the earth to do what is in the best interests of his children. As for 'ForumFilly's' statement, I would agree that there may be a reduction in the standard of living, however women will see a vast improvement in the reduction of abuses; verbal or physical & depending on the severity of the addictions of their former partner, it will cease when the family is removed from the realm of this destructive & unhealthy behavior. So is this a question about "Marriages Fatal Flaw?" Not all marriages are flawed? It is when the needs of the couples involved are not being met, it can be in the differences of communication styles, expectations, boundaries issues, addictions of every sort, abuses, you name it. As for those on POF, I'd like to think we are all here seeking a more compatible partner who shares our values & our needs. After reading and participating in many forums, it seems that the quote by Henry David Thoreau is so applicable "Many go fishing all their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after." ~Remington55~*

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

That's all in the past Posted: 6/1/2009 1:37:34 AM
Hakuna Matata translated in Swahili means "there are no worries..." as depicted in the Walt Disney 'the Lion King." And remember when Rafiki hit the lion cub on the head with a coconut & said, "Oh but that was in the past, sometimes the things we remember in our past is painful." When a relationship ends or fails, it means there are two benefits. First, if you fail, you learn what doesn't work; and second, the failure gives you the opportunity to try a new approach. So never regret, if it's good, it's wonderful, if it's bad, it's experience. Learn to count your blessings. When one person or the other cheats on their partner, it's because their needs are not being met or it could mean that whatever the causes in the early stages of their relationship building was never corrected or the lesson learned. If a person says it's all in the past and they're sincere, give the relationship a chance to grow. As for your expectations, you set your boundaries & expectations early in the relationship otherwise you'll get what you tolerate. We all make mistakes & hopefully we learn the next time around. I wouldn't be so keen on admitting all my mistakes when I'm dating, if I'd learned what didn't work in past relationships, do you think it would be wise to bring them into every future relationship? Do not wear your wounds as a badge, or you'll end up with that dog-kicked-in-the-a$$-look. Learn what works for you & move on... ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

What are worthy criteria to be in love? Posted: 5/19/2009 2:29:54 AM
It depends on the type of love you're looking for... And on the type of relationship too. It matters not whether a person is intelligent, has common interests, etc, if there is no chemistry. Everyone has intuition (a little voice that warns them), listen to your gut instinct, most of the time its never wrong. Also in order to see where you're at, ask yourself what are your motives? The quality of your relationship depends entirely on the quality of the questions you ask yourself. Is the relationship all about me? About us? What are my values? Of my partner? Is this the right person for me? How about trust & compromise? And the list goes on and on... Most of the time I go with my emotions, some liken it to our hearts. The "Good Book" says that the heart is desperate, who can know it. Luke 12: 33 says, "For where YOUR treasure is, there YOUR hearts will be also." I suppose then it is a part of everything that makes us up of who we are, a little of logic, mixed with emotions, and a whole lot of love. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-9 (puts it quite aptly where it describes LOVE) "4 Love is long-suffering and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, does not get puffed up, 5 does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury. 6 It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails." So define what love means to you and you will have your answer. I'm not a Christian, however I do have bible principles instilled in my heart. Hope this helps... ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Positive Words of Wisdom or Advice To New Fishers From Those Who Are Already Here Posted: 5/19/2009 1:04:03 AM
Remember that your profile is your resume to the dating world, it gives you an opportunity to put your best qualities forward, so it's important to be polite, respectful, positive, optimistic. Don't be afraid to take the first step in contacting someone. Just as with resumes for potential jobs, you will experience some rejections, live with it & move on. Sooner or later you're going to land that dream job or potential partner. Some people may list you as a favorite & may never contact you, to me, it's no big deal. I feel that if someone cares enough to list me as a favourite on their computer, then it's an honour. Also Internet dating has several components to it including first contact, IM or Messaging, telephoning and eventually meeting face-to-face. Each tests your ability to think on your feet & brings out the qualities in how you handle the situation, so be prepared. Dating is like any other skill, it must be learned, good relationships take time, it's about strong & effective communication, being a good listener and having the ability to know when to compromise. Above all, be friends first, relationships take time. If you want friends, be a friend first. They say that a friend is someone with whom you dare to be yourself. A friend is someone who knows you, but loves you anyway. Take it easy, go slow, expect nothing, hope for everything. That way you can never be disappointed. If you try something & it doesn't work, change your tactics, POF has a newsletter that answers a lot of questions. It's informative too. Hope this helps. ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

i know people have talked alot about soulmates... but...this isnt really a question about them. Posted: 5/12/2009 12:04:40 AM
Soulmates, perfect mates, husband, wife, lover... A whole range to describe our companion, from one spectrum to the other, feelings that can be measured as indifferent to intensely passionate. I'd recommend reading the book "Secrets." Your passion for "Zombie" movies subconsciously reflects inwardly & connotates how you see your world. Be as those you see around you, your profile says you work with Kindergarten children, be as they are, innocent. When I tell people that I am looking for a "Perfect" mate (or soulmate), it isn't that they are perfect, it's just that they are perfect for me. Besides no one is perfect until you fall in love with them. Right? And do not look to the dark side. There, you will only find fear. Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. Instead look at those who have successful relationships. All successful people men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision, that goal or purpose. Imagine that everyone you meet fits into any one of three categories, those who are a REASON, a SEASON or a LIFETIME. People who come into your life for a reason do so because they are there to meet a need you have expressed. They help you in all sorts of ways, they are there for the reason you need them to be, then without any wrongdoing on your part, they say something or do something that brings the relationship to an end. Sometimes they walk away, sometimes they die, sometimes they act up & force you to take a stand. Whatever the reason, we must realize that our need has been met, our desires fulfilled, their work is done. That the prayer you sent up has been answered and now it's time to move on. So too with those who come into your life for a season, only this time, it's your turn to help someone else. It's your turn to come and share, grow & learn. These people may bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh, they may even teach you something that you've never done before. Regardless it is only for a season & you must move on. Finally there are those whose lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons. Things that you must build upon in order to have a strong emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lessons, love the person(s), & put all what you'd learned into all the relationships and areas of your life, so much so that it will endure time and distance. Remember you always have a choice... There are two ways to look at life and the world. We can see the good or the bad, the beautiful or the ugly. Both are there, and what we focus on and choose to see is what brings us feelings of joy or feelings of despair. I choose Joy... Finally fully understand the boundaries & expectations of yourself and others. Be careful, if you must draw a line, draw it by the water's edge. First impressions go a long way... ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Foul language in profiles Posted: 5/11/2009 11:24:40 PM
Potty mouth comes to mind. You can usually measure a person by the size of their dreams or their intellegence by the way they talk in public places. It ALL depends on the targetted audience. I'd say he'd have a better chance chasing barflies at the local drinking establishment. There is a time and place for everything and to how much a person will lower their standards & find behaviors that they think are acceptable. Here at POF, anything that is in a person's profile that is indecent, profane, or potentially obscene is totally unacceptable. A person's profile is their resume to the world. It must reflect a person's best & highest qualities, afterall he/she is putting their best foot forward in hopes of finding a perfect mate, partner, or companion aren't they? Can you imagine someone looking for a job using profanity & they get hired? For example, someone working at McDonalds and he or she says, "Would you like some fcking fries with that?" Or "What the fcks the matter, don't you like lettuce?" The list goes on and on... Like I said, "Potty mouth..." ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

loneliness question? Single for too long is not good? Posted: 5/11/2009 10:44:53 PM
As we reflect inwards, we find the answers to all our questions, sometimes we don't like what we see, or we ignore it, and even abhore it if it were the truth. Have you ever seen the seen the movie "Shankshaw Redemption?" It's a 1994 American prison drama film along the theme of "HOPE." When people don't have hope, they are lost, prisoners become institutionalized over time. Several prisoners had been locked up for over 40 years, they knew nothing else. Same too about staying single & leading a lonely life. Some people become bitter, others get stuck in their past, some are angry, vengeful over lost loves. Bottom Line.... life is what you make of it, we all have choices. We are the masters of our destiny, so learn to make wise choices. Learn by sharing, volunteering & making a difference, first to yourself, then to the world around you. Always do an act of kindness, for you never know when it will be too late... ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Do I wait or move on? Posted: 4/30/2009 7:43:26 PM
Ever hear the Phrase.... "The Fear I have, I create..." Have patience, whatever will come, will come... There is more to life than POF... Nothing is so bad until something worse happens, for all you know she may have gone to visit her family, her friends, her parents, or goodness knows what else... AND you're on a need-to-know basis as you've just recently met. The day is still young in your relationship, give it time. As for the police... It appears you don't know much about this person, so it's not a missing person call is it? The police won't take it as seriously as you have, you're really working on your emotions, so learn to let your logic prevail instead. Where were you six months ago, where was she? You didn't know her, right? So go back to a time when you didn't know this person & get a grip on your emotions. Give yourself & your friend some time to build a strong emotional foundation that will endure time and distance. Soon the lives of two will become one, one thought, one mind, one heart, & one love... What's the worst that could happen? She could have moved on... What's the lesson that you need to learn then? Well, I'd say it's all about boundaries & expectations. The relationship does not evolve around you or your timetable. Give your friend and yourself some space. I'd hate to hear now that you're stalking her and/or giving everyone here the perception thereof... As for finding someone else, that's your call... Let's say you did, then you find out that the woman you were interested in went to visit her parents for a week & she attempted to contact you, she'd be devasted. On the other side of the coin, maybe you have said something that raised red flags & she's realized you're not the one she wants to get into a relationship right now, or perhaps you're pushing too hard, too fast & have high expectations & come across as being needy. Learn to be friends first, the rest will come if that is what it was meant to be... Expect nothing, hope for everything... AND do not put all your eggs into one basket. She may be your ideal whereas you are not hers... As one door of opportunity closes, another opens, do not waste your time looking longingly at the door that is closed, otherwise you will miss the one who was meant for you... Cheers... ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 56 (view)

Is a guy a virgin if he's never come inside a girl? Posted: 4/2/2009 8:54:20 PM
Virgin definition - a person who has never had sexual intercourse. A USA Judicial Law Branch had two definitions: Definition 1: "Sexual intercourse" means vaginal intercourse, anal intercourse, fellatio or cunnilingus between persons regardless of sex. Its meaning is limited to persons not married to each other. Penetration, however slight, is sufficient to complete vaginal intercourse, anal intercourse or fellatio and does not require emission of semen. Penetration may be committed by an object manipulated by the actor into the genital or anal opening of the complainant's body. Definition 2: "Sexual intercourse" means intercourse, real or simulated, whether genital-genital, oral-genital, anal-genital or oral-anal, whether between persons of the same or opposite sex or between a human and an animal, or with an artificial genital. There you have it, sex, however real or simulated & with whatever is defined as sexual intercourse & constitutes no longer being a virgin... Hmmm, "SweetSmartNSassy2" (Msg 13) mentions (quote) ...I wonder how many chickens gave their lives... (unquote), it seems sex with birds is not mentioned... I'd think they were included with definition of animals as it's implied... go figure... So for a "nonliving" body(s), REALDOLL is for those who can afford it, and NO, it's not breaking the law since these dolls are for sale(www.realdoll.com). Wow, the area of the inanimate objects may include, but not be limited to; torsos, butts, busts, heads, feet, etc. However sick this may be, as long as it floats your boat, eh? ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 153 (view)

How long would you wait to have sex? Posted: 4/2/2009 7:41:07 PM
Would 10 minutes be too long? REALLY tho... I was watching TV several years back & I don't recall who was hosting it, anyway there was this couple who for intents & purposes had not had sex in 6 months since they'd met. She was a Transvestite & he didn't know it until the show. When she confessed, the crowd went wild, they asked why he didn't initiate sex. His response was, "NOT everyone goes downtown to check the goods..." And he stormed off the set, end of relationship. A person would never have known that she was a "he." I suppose it depends on the attaction & the communication of bringing the relationship to the next step, so to speak. Usually by the 3rd or 4th date... Again it depends on the relationship & on the intent... ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 154 (view)

Why Do People Cheat ? Posted: 4/2/2009 6:52:23 PM
People cheat because their needs are not being met. It also appears that you are repeating the same patterns by selecting similar types of partners. In order to move on, it is necessary for you to start your healing journey. What are the underlying lessons that you need to learn from each of these relationships? The answers & the solutions are locked within you, find them & you will begin your healing process. Ignore it & you will be doomed to repeat these lessons over & over in a never ending cycle. As the quality of your life improves, so does your relationships... Imagine a scale that we're all on, the scale is from 100% & less, if a person is (- 400), they will seek someone who is also a (- 400) & will ignore someone who is a (- 100) or (+50). That's life... How is the scale determined? As we have traumas & stressors done to us, we deduct -5 to -50 points, example; losing a parent (-25) or losing a job (-30), addictions = alcoholic (-30), smoker (-30), etc. Justifying your position on POF forums is not the answer either. Do some research, expand your knowlege, start your healing journey & you will fare wisely or at least your lifestyle will improve... You get out of a relationship what you put in... Literally... ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 134 (view)

Women can be really shallow. Posted: 4/2/2009 6:33:41 PM
Rephrase the Subject line to reflect: wo''ME''n can be really shallow. You're judging all your experience on 1 woman? A co-worker at that? Sad to say, the chemistry was not there. YOU just weren't her type, so get over it. But she claims she's not a slut... Do you know the difference between a slut and a b-i-t-c-h? A slut will sleep with anyone, a b-i-t-c-h will sleep with anyone except you... Perhaps you could change the way you see your world. Act like you're 6' tall, excercise & get muscle-bound, and save your $$$$ in your pocket & choke that horse & never stay home... I had a co-worker who had the same disposition as you, how did he resolve his delimma? First he went to the redlight districts & then he eventually bought himself a REALDOLL, go figure... He said the REALDOLL never said he was too old, too tired, & never turned him down... May the Gods bring you luck on your ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

Who wins on net dating sites Posted: 4/2/2009 6:11:04 PM
What was the underlining lesson of all that you'd learned in studying the Bible & in teaching seminars? While I am no longer a Christian, I do have bible principles instilled in my heart. What I see is that YOU & your DAUGHTER have not trusted 100% in your "LORD," "GOD," "ANGEL," "whatever", and you are trusting in MAN, are you not? Believe in your faith (implicitly) & it SHALL guide you; trust in man & in your heart & you will not fare so wisely. Jeremiah 17:9 says, "The heart is more treacherous than anything else and is desperate. Who can know it?" Your daughter trusted in mere mortals & they obviously didn't share the same values & beliefs as you. Perhaps I am sounding a bit judgemental, I'm not, I am only reflecting what your Christian peers would've advised you. I strongly believe that everything that happens to you, happens for a reason. That the hard times you go through are to build character, thus making you & your daughter a much stronger person. Remember you will not always win. Some days, the most resourceful individuals will taste defeat, however just knowing that you gave it your best to succeed today, there is always tomorrow. Do not attempt to justify or find solice in just three relationships, do it after you (&/or your daughter) had tried it a hundredfold. Perhaps her approach was wrong, or perhaps she is repeating a pattern of seeking the same types of people. First heal & change the outlook of yours/her world & you will both see things from a different perspective. And to your question, " Who wins on net dating sites" ANS - Everyone who comes with the right motives & with the right frame of mind... Those who are confident in themselves & who continuously look at the doors of opportunities that are open to them, rather than the ones they've left behind & are closed... Hope this helps... ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

Need closure!! Posted: 4/2/2009 5:22:01 PM
People come into our lives for a REASON, a SEASON, or a LIFETIME. When our needs have been met and/or we've helped someone else and the relationship comes to an end, we must realize that the prayers we sent up have been answered & it is time to move on. As we start the healing process & find closure within ourselves, we need to deal with any baggage before entering into a new relationship. Lifetime relationships teach us lifetime lessons, so what was the lesson your recent relationship was teaching you. You don't know? What would it be like if you did know? Failing to learn the lessons now will set you up in repeating the same mistakes in all future relationships. Successful relationships allow partners to grow individually & as couples & for closure to happen. Good endings mean good beginnings. Think of another time when you were happy, what was it like then, way before you'd met this person? What was it like 2, 5, 10 years ago? It is said that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends entirely on our dispositions and not on our circumstances and that things are never so bad they can't be made worse. You are in control of your emotions, the "Captain of your ship" so to speak, where are you heading? Are you going to continue to just drift along? If so, why? Remember, we only have a certain amount of moments in which to live, live each day as if it were your last, what would you do differently knowing this? Learn to live in the moment. Let the sad moments run their course, eventually they will be replaced with other emotions, even happiness... ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

sick of it all Posted: 4/2/2009 4:33:47 PM
Let's start with getting rid of that "dog-kicked-in-the-a$$-attitude." Race has nothing to do with it. As for cheating, well people cheat because their needs are not being met, so some seek whatever they're missing elsewhere. It's quite apparent that your ex-partner has moved on and you're stuck in your past licking your wounds. I agree with others who have recommended seeking counselling & therapy, you need to learn about boundaries & expectations & possibly coping skills. If you continue to believe that you are eternally cursed, then you will be... ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 60 (view)

Is there REALLY someone out there for everyone? Posted: 4/2/2009 4:16:01 PM
You are what you project. I took a boo at your profile & the negative statements say it all. Words such as: ------ I'm tired... ------ I'm also not... ------ I never... ------ because I have no luck with women anyway... ------ but I don't always believe it... Listen to your cousin, she believes in you, so why don't you. Have you ever read the book "the Secret" by Rhonda Byrne. Basically if your frame of mind is not in sync with your body language, you will never be successful. Successful people have great attitudes & look for ways to change the world around them. Picture yourself having a successful relationship with the woman/women of your dreams & make it happen. Work on your self-esteem. Remember our thoughts create what we speak, the feelings we feel, and our actions. Our thoughts preceed our actions. So when our actions are opposite of what we desire the most, we see that we are unloveable because that's what we project to the world around us. Charismatic people have so many friends & potential partners because they are confident & are in tune with themselves and with the world around them. They also look for opportunities to help others, unsuccessful people are always asking, "What's in it for me?" Failure? Remember the two benefits of failure. First, if you do fail, you learn what doesn't work; and second, the failure gives you the opportunity to try a new approach. Are you changing your approach? Finding out what works & what doesn't? ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 41 (view)

Dating while unemployed Posted: 3/31/2009 6:36:03 PM
Your story reminds me of someone I'd met at work, he bragged of how much work experience he's had over the past 14 years he's been at our work place. His brother passed away recently & he asked if the other workers could participate in a collection as he needed to head across the country for the funeral. I asked him how much he'd set aside over the years for these types of emergencies & he stated "Nothing." Wow, I suggested that had he put aside $50 per paycheque, he would've had enough for whatever was necessary to go wherever. I gave him $20 & suggested he start planning for future emergencies. He just scoffed at me. Perhaps the next time, there won't be anyone there to help him. I've learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends entirely on our dispositions and not on our circumstances. Just as in the world & in business, a lot of people are downsizing, so too must you... The bible talks about 7 years of good times & 7 years of lean times, a person must set aside enough to tide over those times that are lean, shouldn't they? What activities can you do without? As your income decreases, learn to live within your means... It's really that simple. I agree, that there are somethings you can do without. Eating out 5 days a week may be one of them, going to sports games, eliminating golfing (ouch, Heaven forbid), partying, travel, no-name brand clothes, etc. Learning to do more with less, that includes dating activities. It may very well be that your type of work service is no longer needed & you may have to change or alternate your career choices... BE, DO, HAVE = BE committed to DO what it takes to HAVE what you want... Learn to live within your means, even if it's nothing, & be thankful if you still have good health. Afterall, things are never so bad they can't be made worse. Happy searching... ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Financial issues and desire to have kids. Posted: 3/31/2009 5:52:57 PM
I can't speak for others, however in your example, it would seem that the people who are living from paycheque-to-paycheque would continue the same pattern whether they had children or not. Some people fare badly, all you have to do is tune into the TV program series "Til Debt Due Us Part" to see how easily a couple can be thousands in debt & on the road to bankruptcy. Managing money is a learned skill, it includes learning how to budget & living within one's means. A lot of parents haven't passed on these budgeting skills because they themselves have not learned how to manage their finances. A person earns what they learn - Not sure where quote is from, however it's true. As your education level increases, more doors of opportunity are opened. Entry level jobs are low paying. An additional change to this quote is "You will earn what you learn, not what you want..." So it depends entirely on your educational background, your attitude, your expectations, commitment and so on... Live simply & simply live come to mind... Whether or not financial issues have a direct or indirect impact on bearing children also depends on the social networks & cultural backgrounds of an aspiring family. Setting third world countries & those who milk welfare systems aside, it does not take much to raise a small family. The answer lies somewhere in between the two extremes of the American Dream; materialism vs basic needs. ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 79 (view)

Negative Familiarity (Attracting the Wrong Person Over & Over) How does it work? Posted: 3/31/2009 5:07:23 PM
It depends where you are on your road to recovery. If you haven't healed and/or learned the lessons from your current relationship, you will continue to seek someone with like qualities. It's where you are in life based on where you are on a scale. Here is a simple example of what I see... 100% Perfect Person - 25% Lost a parent = + 75% - 25% Lost a child = + 50% - 25% Lost a job = + 25% - 25% Financial debt problems = 0% - 10% smoker = - 10% - 25% alcoholic = - 35% - 40% drug addiction = - 75% - 10% lost drivers license = - 80% - 10% lost home = - 90% - 35% health problems = - 125% - 20% age related issues = - 140% the list goes on and on... So in this example, you are at 140% in life, you will look for others who are at the same level or less than yourself. The person of your dreams could be at +80% and you wouldn't be attracted to them because you haven't worked on your healing process. An alcoholic person will always seek another with the same issues or perhaps the qualities to which they are seeking to improve in themselves. Bottom line, work on your healing journey & improve the quality of your life & you will seek healthier people to share your journey. Not sure if this makes sense, it works for me... ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 71 (view)

Differences in what men and women look for.... Posted: 3/22/2009 3:22:27 AM
Geez I thought the TOP three things for men would've been SEX, SEX and MORE SEX and not necessarily in that order. LOL ...Or was it SEX, a bigger BOAT/MOTOR, and a FASTER CAR/TRUCK... Hahaha... Actions vs Emotions (Logic vs Emotions)... Men think logically and women think emotionally. Where the two meet, there is sometimes love... Anyway... Generally speaking I've learned that: The most important needs for women are: - Affection - Conversation - Honesty and Openness - Financial Support and - Family Commitment Whereas men's needs are: - Sexual Fulfillment - Recreational Companionship - Admiration and - Domestic Support If women can fake orgasms, I'm sure men can fake relationships, eh? That's why they cool down so fast & disappear... In Reality though, both must decide on how to become experts on those things that support life and love: namely through intimacy, communication, forgiveness, trust, giving and receiving, commitment and letting go. Each must learn how to do their part on building a strong emotional foundation that will endure time and distance. Sometimes so easy to say, so hard to fulfill... Commitment must be 100% or nothing... O/P I'm sure if you weren't so far away, you wouldn't be spending your Friday nights alone... ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

My exgirlfriend is crazy Posted: 3/22/2009 2:27:58 AM
Friends' List??? I think a "Friends' List" is the same as a Favorites list, isn't it? Send her a rose & see what she happens... (Just kidding)... The reality is that there is still a part of her that still has feelings for you. There are countless reasons of why she cheated... It takes two to tango doesn't it? Throughout the relationship there are little signs that things aren't going well, that things are breaking down and little-by-little the relationship is dying, however we (men) never notice these little nuances until it's too late. We're given hints & you know all about that, as MEN we never get hints. A woman will ask for something small and shiny & we'll go out and buy her a new toaster... LOL Why? Because men & woman speak differently in the languages of love, both have different needs. Generally speaking "The most important needs for women are affection, conversation, honesty and openness, financial support and family commitment. Those for men are sexual fulfillment, recreational companionship, admiration and domestic support. These needs are so strong that when they’re not met in a marriage, people are tempted to go outside to satisfy them." Can you see the differences, I certainly wished I had back then... That was then, now is now, so don't get stuck in your past... As for your current situation, I'd say "move on..." AND give yourself some time to find out who you are too, take some time off before you go searching for a new relationship. You've got to feel good in your skin as they say... Otherwise cut all contact because if you keep in contact, it could be likened to picking at the scars (hurts) of your past relationship & you've not given your wounds enough time to heal... As with all the other posters here, we can only offer suggestions, only you will know what to do & when to do it... Good luck... godezzofchaos (Msg 14) - I can't remember the last time I took a "long walk on the beach"(where the hell is one in TN)... I did a quick google search because your PROFILE statement intrigued me, there are actually 1236 lake front properties listed in TN, care to go for a walk on a beach now? Try not to kick any sand in my face though, Ok ... Just kidding... LOL ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 52 (view)

Is it cheating or not??? Posted: 3/22/2009 1:32:39 AM
Ahhhh definitions, definitions... It's the same as making a statement about being normal. What is "Normal" for one culture is abhored by another, it's the same with the definition of "Cheating." What does "Cheating" mean to you? Write what it means to you by the water's edge & eventually you will see that it changes or as time goes by... And as the water washes away your inhibitions & values... In your profile, you've indicated that you're wanting to "check out the single 'meat' in the area..." with your best friend. It isn't cheating is it? Let's look at this from various positions (excuse the pun), how would you feel if your partner went camping with another woman, shared the same tent, etc. It ISN'T cheating if you've redefined the definition of your relationship and became: 1) Swingers 2) FWB 3) An "Open Relationship" where either partner goes with someone else... AND it's Ok with both parties... 4) Whatever else you can think of... Others have eluded to your (pure) intentions & your profile statement "...can I just meet some men please?..." certainly says it all. Why do you ask for our endorsement? Your heart says it all... Does not the 'Good Book' say that the heart is fickle, weak & treacheous? Who can know it? Be careful of what you sow... Friedrich Nietzche puts it quite aptly when he says "He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." Does not the pastures yonder look greener? Either take a stand & move on or fix the relationship you're in, set a deadline & carry it out. People with addictions of all sorts cannot help themselves, they are slaves to their addictions & they may change one master (addition) for another if given a choice or ultimatum. Do not yourself embrace the God of Denial... If you're looking for words of encouragement, then I'd have to say that your partner was there for the reason you needed him to be, that the prayers you sent up have now been answered, it is time for you to move on... Remember when one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us... Good luck... I have no clue what "wtfe club members" means. I googled it and a possible meaning is WTFE - "What the Freak Ever (polite form)" which is a derivative of WTF (What the Fck) I guess. ~Remington55~*

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 54 (view)

Law of attraction Posted: 1/24/2009 10:52:34 PM
The world around us is forever changing, sometimes we change & we forget to tell others, especially our partners. You owe it to yourself & to your partner & you must tell her that you're no longer physically attracted to her. Things are never so bad that they can't be made worse. And never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience. Have you ever read the article "Are you a REASON, a SEASON, or a LIFETIME." In paraphrasing the article, when someone comes into your life for a reason, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They help you in all sorts of ways. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or theirs, you or they will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes you or they will act up & force either side to take a stand. What you must realize is that your need has been met, your desires fulfilled, & your work is done. That the prayer you sent up has been answered. It is now time to move on. When people come into your life for a season, it is now your turn to help someone else by sharing, growing or learning. You may bring them an experience of peace, make them laugh, teach them something they have never done & you may even give them an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real, however it is only for a season. Finally there are those who are lifetime relationships, these could include family, friends, relationships, acquaintances. These people give you lifetime relationships and teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build on in order to have a solid emotional foundation that will endure time & distance. Your job is to accept the lessons, love the person, and to put all what you have learned in use in all other relationships and areas of your life. They say that love is blind & that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them. Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go. "CasaGo" you are such a puppy... I love it. Looking at you, I'm sure that the "Laws of Attraction" for most of us men would be clearly visible from the front of our pants too. In other forum threads, it was stated that most women end the relationship(s) first, is he perhaps waiting for her to do so too? I've read quotes where relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together. Sometimes the heartache is just too unbearable. It's damned if you do & damned if you don't... Now OP, what are you not telling us, now & then? From a few of the posters, I see you've been on this topic before. Most of us have fetishes, sexual nuances & preferences, kinkiness, perversions & even the desire to come out of the closet. It's obvious that your partner is not meeting your needs, sexual or otherwise. So where your treasure is, your heart will be also. Getting your partner to participate in sexual acts to which she may or may not condone may be a little frustrating, so what is it exactly that you're not telling us. Is it rodeo sex? You're behind her & you reach around to fondle her breasts & you tell her, "These are just like your sister's" and then you hang on for 8 seconds... So what is it exactly that you're not telling us??? Please enlighten us... I'm curious. Does "CasaGo" get your "Laws of Attraction" up too? ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

First date rules Posted: 1/24/2009 8:37:52 PM
You can often measure a person by the size of his dream. Be an opportunist, you're getting two for the price of one. I've learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends entirely on our dispositions and not on our circumstances. Who knows, you may fall in love with her friend instead. Look at it from several different prospectives, either you're a rose between two thorns or a prick between two roses (pun not intended)... Think of the posibilities, do not contemplate "If only..." for these must be the two saddest words in the world of what could've been... "cubanguy" mentions a threesome... Hmmm now that kinda makes for some kinky thoughts... Police stations and handcuffs... (LOL) Hey expand on the positive aspects from all the free advice you're getting... Afterall Love is never having to say you're sorry... Realistically though, friendships start with just a simple gesture, a smile, of getting together, of sharing neutral topics, & of seeing if there is any chemistry. Who knows, you may even write a book on this... Mother Teresa says "The success of love is in the loving - it is not in the result of loving. Of course it is natural in love to want the best for the other person, but whether it turns out that way or not does not determine the value of what we have done" Successful dating is always looking for opportunities to help others & this allows for happiness & love in turn to surely find them. Unsuccessful people when dating are always asking, "What's in it for me?" So look for ways to speak kindly. Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. It reflects on the true meaning & principles of LOVE... They say that snowflakes, like love, are one of nature's most fragile things, but just look what they can do when they stick together (methinks women too)... Just kidding!!!! ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 43 (view)

Calling All Divorcees Posted: 1/21/2009 1:53:25 AM
Well now you've opened a can of worms... A divorcee or divorcor???? In legal mumbo jumbo if this were the case, the male being the divorcor would be the one doing the divorcing, and the woman as the divorcee, etc... I would tend to agree that most women file first, not that it matters who does first. Once the relationship is over, there are no winners, everyone loses, especially young children if they're involved. Adultery was the reason my marriage failed. I don't hold that against her though, I strongly believe that when one or both partners get involved with someone else outside the marriage, it changes & broadens the marriage to include becoming an open relationship (swingers). I like to refer to it as the "Rules of Engagement" without the negative connotations. My ex-wife hated it when I mentioned "open relationships" and "swinging lifestyles." She preferred a "closed relationship," however it didn't stop her from being promiscuous. As I reflect back on her upbringing, I can certainly understand why she did the things she did & I don't slight her for it. Basically it boils down to understanding the differences between the needs of men & women. Relationships fall apart for any number of reasons & that is not the debate here... So rather than looking back at who was the victim, the abuser, the winner or the loser, it is more beneficial to just love the person, enjoy the memories, have no regrets & move on. Material things can all be replaced, mud-slinging doesn't do anyone any good, it hurts the children & everyone involved, including the families. As I reflect on my ex-wife, she was a wonderful person on many levels, she was a great cook, a social butterfly, someone who was compassionate & aggressive when the occassion(s) needed it, and I suppose this is why we choose the people that we do, they compliment the qualities that we admire, we lack or envy. In moving on, we must develop and maintain the higher capacity to forgive. For he who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. You cannot be loving someone if you are continually judging them. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our partners and/or anyone else. We must come to realize that there are two benefits in relationship failures. First, if you do fail, you learn what doesn't work; and second, the failure gives you the opportunity to try a new approach. I'm sure this applies to failures of all sorts as well. I now have a new outlook on life, I pretend every single person I meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, "Make Me Feel Important." This positive attitude helps me succeed in life in my own way. No longer do I say "If Only..." For these must be the two saddest words in the world. To be a success at anything, we must be always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people (whether they are divorcees or divorcors) are always asking, "What's in it for me?" Life can be as complicated or as simple as you make it, in short, "Be true to your work, your word and to your friends." It is your friends who make your world wherever you are... Some say that everything happens to you for a reason. The hard times that you go through build character, making you a much stronger person. That the difficulties of life are intended to make us better, not bitter. Well I'm not sure about this... Sexual abuse, and abuses of every sort including the aftermath of behaviours in addictions of every sort, aren't necessary to build character, just as when someone tells us that boiling water is hot, we don't have to stick our hands in just to make sure, it is because someone is passing on their wisdom. Life is about choices, we can choose to be positive in a negative world. Our outlook and attitude is what builds character, as well as being a positive role model to those around us... ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

Money and Toys Posted: 1/18/2009 4:43:59 AM
The everyday kindness that you do more than makes up for the acts of greediness or rudeness in those who judge you, so continue to treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are... Mother Teresa put it aptly when she said, "If you judge people, you have no time to love them." Be glad that your acquaintance let you see her true intentions early in your conversations. I'm sure many of us here have met similar people who were materialistic, who spoke out of their pain, their anger, their loneliness or out of their deceitfulness. As you set your boundaries & expectations, you will find those who are compatible to what you're looking for, I certainly wish you luck in your search for the perfect mate, not that they are perfect in any way, just that they are perfect for you. As for these tough economic times, nothing is so bad that it can't be made worse. Is a person still a millionaire who spents a million dollars & has nothing to show for it & owes double that amount? Who knows, she may have been looking for a bailout & you were just not her ticket... So never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience. Chalk it up & move on... ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 52 (view)

be careful of what you wish for, HONESTY Posted: 1/11/2009 1:47:21 AM
It does not take many words to tell the truth... Honesty is a preferable trait coupled with other qualities such as kindness, love, generosity, integrity, trust and respect to name a few... Being Brutally honest??? It sounds so much like an oxymoron, how can there be varying degrees or shades of honesty? It's like comparing that to "Right" or "Wrong." Hmmm how about expanding the intention of the phrase to man & woman, either you're a man or a woman, being gay doesn't count, or how about religion. Can a person be brutally religious or can God be so brutally loving that he gave his only brutally begotten son? It sounds so rediculous. There are no grey or gray areas, either it is or it is not. Bottom line, honesty is honesty, plain and simple. Being honest doesn't mean a person has to resort to vulgarity or to say unkind words either. Implying that we all lie to foresake loneliness suggests that maybe some may lead lives that are made up of partial truths & partial lies. Personally I have never heard of a person with a pessimistic view ever winning at having a (lasting & loving) relationship. We all need to continuously upbuild ourselves & our self-esteem by saying "I do enough, I am enough, I am good enough." Finally if you say unkind words to people, you are judging them. Mother Teresa put it quite aptly when she said "If you judge people, you have no time to love them..." so "Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier" She was the epitomy of love & a positive role model to all because of her faith & intense love for those around her who were less fortunate than most... Anyway how does this statement "..and when my butt does look huge in these pants, you better tell me without my asking. You're my mate, your duty is to look out for me. Just like I do..." when some of us are attracted to a large anatomy if not larger???? What is abnormal to one person is a godsent to another, isn't it? It's all about preferences, boundaries & expectations... In closing, I would say that Mother Teresa's quote honestly says it all, "Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

confused by his addiction to pof Posted: 1/4/2009 9:18:04 PM
We all have our nuances, fetishes, ailments, struggles to which we are fighting. A year & a half in this relationship? Yet your profile indicates that you too are searching for men to hang out with for drinks, dancing & good times? A couple defines their relationships based on the values, the expectations, boundaries and behaviours to which they find as acceptable or unacceptable. It certainly sounds like you both are "Open minded" which may border along the lines of a "Swinger's lifestyle." Why would you be still advertising or fishing for people to hang out with while describing yourself as "Hot & Sexy?" You get what you tolerate... Do not be looking at the sliver in your neighbour's eye when there is a rafter in yours. As for your questions, it matters not about the quantity of the messaging & dating, but on the quality of the people you meet. If you're in a serious relationship with this so called "wonanizer" how can you judge him if you're practically doing the same. 'Does not the term "the kettle calling the pot black..." mean anything? Personally I'd say move on, find out what it really is that you're searching for in a relationship & reflect this in your profile. Everything that you do, what you believe in, your values, your expectations & most of all your boundaries must be clearly defined. So my question, what is your addiction? ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

What to do? Posted: 12/29/2008 10:42:39 AM
You're 20 years old & you have a 2 year old son. You're looking for a Man to Hang Out, & you want a career as a Corrections Officer. You've been with this jailbird since you were 14. He's now back in jail & harrassing you with up to 4 phone calls a day. How old is this guy now? Hmmm it also appears that you've ignored most of the advice given even though it was requested. Jailbirds have limited rights & access & even if your child was old enough, you could limit his calls to once per month or more. Up to this point, he hasn't legally exercised his parental rights has he? He can start doing so when & if he gets out, in the meantime, NO CONTACT unless you say so. Besides how well do you think you're going fare as a Corrections Officer if you can't even handle what you have/had at home? YOU are in total CONTROL!!!! Do not let abusive men control you. I most certainly can empathize with your new BF, it's not about jealousy as much as it is with insecurity. For better or worse, your new BF must take some responsibility in supporting the relationship between you, your son & him. Others have stated setting your boundaries & expectations. Change your phone number for starters. If you EX wants to be a part of his child's life, then he must come to you to visit on your terms. Let the parole board or his probation officer know that you're getting harrassed. It may extent his parole hearing, something he may not want. He is the one doing time, & you are serving the same sentence for as long as you allow these things to happen. Bottom Line: You get what you tolerate. In psychology courses, there are two sides of the spectrum, one being social (clergy, coaches, teachers, social workers, firemen, etc) and autocratic (guards, military, police). If you want to be a Corrections Officer, you must take the autocratic approach, do not let your feelings get in the way of doing the right thing for yourself & your son. Be firm, be demanding. "Oddandy" has the right attitude & he puts it so eloquently with his colourful metaphors. Note to self: this is a man's man. However like "James_Bottomtooth_III" I'd like to see the Jerry Springer episode in a few years too. Your move.... ~Remington55~ yay: :

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

Advice? Please? Posted: 12/29/2008 9:41:41 AM
"oddandy" (Msg 3) ...So how did you end up carrying his child?... "Oddandy" you just kill me!!!! LOL Let me see if I can explain it. Hmmmm... First insert tab A into slot B, rub until compound interest is established. Interest will grow & continue to expand for the next 9 months or until confirmed, then may take as little as 18 years to mature depending on amount of quality attention given. Hope this helps... ;> O/P - I'd recommend quit smoking ASAP. Picture this. A baby is sleeping, a hand reaches over and grabs the baby by the throat & squeezes. The baby gasps for air, the hand tightens & the baby struggles. This is what happens when you smoke, you're cutting off the air supply to your baby. Furthermore the unborn baby is not an "it." It is usually in reference to inanimate objects. Your baby is a living being. You state you want to find a man to "hang out?" What's with that? With a baby on the way, you need to learn lifeskills. Craving chips & pickels are what some pregnant women everywhere crave, there's something lacking & the body goes through your memory banks to get what it thinks your body needs. Do you know what depression is? It's when someone attempts to do something & they continuously run up against the same barriers until the mind can not longer handle it & shuts down. Every problem has its own solutions. Join a support group in your area, find an older couple with whom you trust that will mentor you. You're going to need a lot guidance & support, do not wait until the baby has arrived & then attempt to do something about it. Act now. The baby's father is immature, he has neither the lifeskills, or the desire to raise a family. You're beautiful, you're young, you have so much opportunities available to you, go find the help you need soon. If your parents want to support you, then that's a positive alternative, at least until you can support yourself & your baby. Everything depends on you, your baby will most certainly have to... If you've even contemplated abortion, it may be too late. Mother Teresa quoted "The greatest destroyer of peace is abortion because if a mother can kill her own child, what is left for me to kill you and you to kill me? There is nothing between" AND "It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish." So I hope this is not an option you're going to ever take. Remember that love begins at home, and it is not how much we do... but how much love we put in that action. Whether you live in a small town or a large city is of no difference, there are more facilities & amenities in the larger populated areas. Go where your heart guides you. Good luck... I wish you every success in your future endeavours. Oh... Uh "Oddandy" I'm was just messing with you, no malicious intent whatsoever... ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

Asking about Jail is an inappropriate question? Posted: 12/28/2008 8:11:51 AM
If you were hiring someone, I'd say go for it, otherwise make it one of the qualifiers in your profile. Then when someone expresses interest in you, you could ask tactfully, "I find you attractive. However in my profile, I state that I am not interested in anyone who has ever been incarcerated. I've also made it a point of being upfront with everyone that I meet about this. It's important to me. So can you tell me if you have ever been incarcerated? If you have, what were the circumstances?" That way you can assess with the points that "chrispickle" (Msg 6) has brought up & decide whether or not to continue. Now wasn't that nice, you've set your boundaries & expectations & you're reaffirming it as one of the qualifiers in any future potential relationships. If someone gets offended, well that's too bad. As you get to know the person, you should inquire about it anyway. Do a background check to ease your mind of any potential dangers. Let your instincts & inner voice guide you through your initial meetings, any red flags are sure to surface quickly. Hope this helps... ~Remington55~

remington55

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

Anyone else have this experience? Posted: 12/28/2008 7:34:09 AM
Picture everyone on POF as though they are sitting across from you in a face-to-face meeting & come with a frame of mind that you are openminded & that you ARE going to have a successful relationship. Have you ever read the book "Secrets" by Rhonda Byrne? It's all about your mind & body language being in sync. And it's about attitude. Personally I have never seen a pessimistic person ever win in a relationship. It's like those profiles that read, "Looking for nice, honest guy/girl who will treat me right, prove me wrong." Now if you were even the least bit attracted to someone & you were standing in a public place, how would you respond to such a statement. You wouldn't because it isn't what the reasonable person would do & the boundaries & expectations are just too abnormal. Treat every person as a friend. What is a friend? I will tell you, it is someone with whom you dare to be yourself. Your conversations should be respectful & easy flowing. If you just met someone at the Mall, would you be tempted to say, "Hey, holla back at me, OK!!!" How far would that get you? As an Actor/Director, do some serious role-playing. Give it your best. And if I came with the attitude to which your thread dictates, my friends would certainly tell me upfront that I would have to get rid of that "dog-kicked-in-the-ass" approach. Be confident, be entertaining & most of all, be yourself. If you're lacking skills, research & practice. As for typical conversation topics, the topics are endless, talk about anything neutral; the weather, your interests, her interests, share stories, get the conversation going so that any chemistry will be noticed right away. We all have gifts & qualities that attract other people. Relationship skills are like anything else, they have to be learned, honed & fine-tuned. I took a boo at your profile. Are you really that weird? It sounds so negative. Do away with anything negative, like a resume, you are putting your best qualities first. Your profile is your resume to the world, treat it that way. Give it that positive overtone, and YOU must sometimes take the first step in contacting someone. So unless you're Brad Pitt or someone else who is extremely attrative, rich or famous, no one is going to contact you first, so leave what you're not looking for in the mail settings. (smoking, drinking, drugging, etc). It does not take many words to speak the truth, does it? So whatever you say, do it with respect. Respect is given & trust is earned. Forums are conversations in a different format or media. Learn to use them effectively. If you need to learn public speaking, go to Toastmasters of America & learn public speaking skills, these skills are transferrable to all areas of your life. In your profile, you say you are a director of sorts, so acting should come easy too. Act as though you are the leading man in your quest to find someone. Be the hero. Play your part well. Good luck... Whatever I've written above is not a personal attack on your character, it is general in nature. It is only intended to be the expressed views of the writer. Hope this helps... ~Remington55~

Show ALL Forums