Have you ever fallen in love with a sociopath? chat & forums.

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midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 115 (view)

Have you ever fallen in love with a sociopath? Posted: 11/22/2009 6:02:31 PM
I worked with the one. But you can see red flags all over the place right away. But the time you may be in stage for falling in love there will be a long record of red flags. What is interesting that she was very attractive. But despite of that everyone was running from her.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

How Much Should I Disclose? Posted: 11/22/2009 5:59:57 PM
Just set them up, so they can figure it out.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

what does it really take Posted: 11/22/2009 5:21:39 PM
Soul mate connection for 2 of us.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 189 (view)

Have you found and then lost your soulmate? Posted: 11/21/2009 4:58:35 PM
There is more than one person for you in tems of a very good match. We may loose them or they loose you but you meet another one and it plays out.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

How and when do you know when you're with the one you wanna settle down with? Posted: 11/21/2009 4:39:58 PM
We guys also need to be ready to settle down. If we are not ready we can meet 5 great gals an miss on all of them because it isa timing factor. Now if he is not ready it is not flying. If he is ready by the mark of 8 months there should be signs of commitment. Of course if he feels this special connection with you. As a guy I think 8 months is too long wih no indication of future.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Conscience Bothering Me Posted: 11/21/2009 2:34:45 PM
First, you didn't lie you didn't finish. There were no lies.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

On professionals and commitment (interesting one) Posted: 11/21/2009 2:29:36 PM
My OP had never refered to sales people directly in any way. It was more about professionals in general. I believe that there may be only very very companies that specifically want to hire folks with family rutes (sp). The fact that I am in sales andtravel quite a bit in anyway will mean that those poeple at the airport travel a lot too. Some professionals do not travel more than 2-3 a year for business. Clienets whom I meet may not be travelling at all. My post was not about sales at all. I am in a sales job but was hired before I even met my wife. She never had a problem with my job or travel. She is CPA. Her mom who lives not far away is willing to help with our soon-to-be baby and she is like my American mom (I am German). So, my wife thinks that being out of town for me is not an issue. But again it is not about people in sales. It is more about professionals in general. Some may not travel a lot at all. Very small percentage I believe wear fake rings, or marry for career purposes. But I am talking about the majority.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

On professionals and commitment (interesting one) Posted: 11/21/2009 12:44:14 PM
I do not know any companies who purposely target hiring married people. I seems to me that discrimination suits can be launched if they wouldn't hire single people. I see remotely taht there indeed may be few cases that an individual may think that being married will be seen as more stable serious person. But I think it is more exception from the rules. May be very few women wear fake engagement rings, so guys won't hit on them but I never met a guy who will wear a fake wedding bend. People whom are work with are married/engaged for real. Those out of tawn clients whom I meet usually have pics in the offices, so you know there is a family behind them. When you marry someone you have to live with them and they become a big pat of your life. I highly doubt taht even if in some cases (rear ones) you need marrige for you job you will force yourself to marry somene whom you do not care or love. I would be horrified getting home from work to a woman whom I can care less (only because to make my career stable).

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

On professionals and commitment (interesting one) Posted: 11/20/2009 6:30:43 PM
Post # 3 . I know some guys do not war the rings but I am refering to people whom I see and they have ones. E.g one guy from work in his 60s married, grown kids, cute grand babies doesn't wear a ring because he has ome skin conditions and it is o.k. in my book. His wife by the way is a very lovely lady and I met her few times......... I would find it highly unlikely that many companies will judge you on a wedding bend. Unless it is a job interview (but still not likely). These days companies have a bunch of social events, interaction with collegues. It is highly UNlikely to push a card that you have a ring on your finger but no one ever so your spouse/fiancey. Soned or later it will become clear that there is no spouse and it would be a very odd situation. E.g we have a regular social on the second Sut. of each months whe Sos, kids, spouses are invited. I would guess that soonesr or later we will meet them. I personally do not know any people who will wear a wedding bend but nnot being married. I knew some one from college she was wearing a fake engagement ring. She was cute all guys kitted on her but she was in love with her BF. Again, I bet you when my co-workers wear those rings they come from real people. I met their significat others. The met my spouse too.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

On professionals and commitment (interesting one) Posted: 11/20/2009 5:39:38 PM
I have traveled quite a bit because of my job (sales). It means that I have spent a lot of time at the airprt and met many people all over the country because of a work nature. I have noticed that the majority of professionals whom I saw at the airpot or business meetings (aka business suitues, lap tops) had weddings bends on their fingers. I would say abouy 85%-90% in the age group 28+ -40+. Of cousre it is an estimate. Some gals just had an engagement ring.... In my company almost everyone is married , engaged or in serious relationship (with the exception of people sho are just out of college and 22-24) Some of them(airport, business meetings) were not attracive at all (I know it is a subjective concept) The question is................. Why do you believe those professional people committ to marrige in that large proportion?

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 31 (view)

men and emotional maturity Posted: 11/20/2009 5:15:17 PM
^^^^^^^^^ The above post. Because we grow,too. We want the same thing as you gals do like a home, home-made dinner, being in love, having that special woman whom we call a wife. We want to have kids and be proud dads during that soccer game.... yes we may be party birds in those college years and it is o.k. But what makes you think that by 30-40 we are not ready to go whole 9 yards? We are not always able to hold tears back when she announced her pregnancy. We get emotional when we feel that first baby kick. So what makes gals think that we are trying to avoid commitment in an adult age ( I am not talking about college kids)?

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 333 (view)

Would you date a pregnant woman? Posted: 11/20/2009 3:25:40 PM
^^^^^^^^^ They are still attractive but of course their body shape changes and they pack some pounds. It is a special stage in a woman's life and I am not sure that some dude who just go on the first date with her when she is pregnant will have a proper degree of emotional investment in her (to the extend that she needs). How many dudes on here will be happy to meet someone who wll righ away will start tellig you about their morning sickness, doc' s appointments or call you at 5 a.m. because she felt the first kick? I bet as a man you do not want to hear all this stuff from someone whom you just met (but they still want to share it) it is like to much...... Pregnant women can become very emotional creatures due to hormones fluctuation. Of course when you are in relationship or married it is the whole different venue. Never would be happy to hear this stuff from someone whom I just met and a kid is not mine.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

men and emotional maturity Posted: 11/20/2009 2:59:05 PM
Men want commitment the same way as women do. Sure they may not be fully there by the age of 25 or even 30. Somehoe many assume that men all about getting sex and sleeping around if they can get more. Many are not this way at all. Men the same way as women want to have kids and be proud dads one day. I am sure there are some men and women who do not but there are many who do. I have a lot of friends who are married (men) who are happy, I know a lot of proud dads. Sure we not all hit this mark my 25-30. I travel a lot for business. Let me ask you this....... Have you noticed at the airport that many many more professionals (both men and women) 28+ d have wedding bends on their fingures than those who do not? Next time you can check I wanna say 85% do (including engagment rings on women)...

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Does this ring true for anyone? Posted: 11/20/2009 11:50:51 AM
yes I believe this statement is absolutely correct.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Marrying someone not for love but for citizenship Posted: 11/19/2009 4:04:19 PM
The post is from 2005!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 31 (view)

Why can't I just move on? Posted: 11/19/2009 3:13:09 PM
You can NOT move on because you developed feelings for this guy. Droping feeling is not easy.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Single Mums/Non-single mums. A mind-change??? Posted: 11/19/2009 2:39:57 PM
It is simple. Many single moms have more difficult time to find a decent guy. Because many giys do not want to do anything with kids from another guy plus there are more free time limitations on a single parent to build relationship. It means that they can lower their standards. Many single gals do not have this issue. So, they have higher standards.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

Confused by my hormones - having sex with boyfriend for first time Posted: 11/19/2009 2:20:38 PM
28 y.o. virgin is OFF in my book unless string religious believes are involved and she wants to wait untill marrige. School, work is not the factors in your age not to be able to have a BF and include some sex elements inyour relationship. I can see a gal at 18 thinking so but not in 28. I personally would be running from a 28 virgin. Those whole virginity drama was left by me in HS.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Love and being in love Posted: 11/19/2009 2:03:50 PM
1) You are a nice guy and I love you/like you but not in love with you. I just do not have those special feeling with you. But you are nice 2) No idea 3) You are not good for me . I want better that is why I keep my doors opened. I want you to believe that I am in love but I am not really. I hope I will be in love with a better dude whom I meet.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 862 (view)

are women playing GOD when they become pregnant Posted: 11/18/2009 6:45:18 PM
The above post^^^^^ Business law has nothing to with that. Yes there are many pages written on partnership laws. I agree. However, there are no laws written on what you are responsible for when you sleep with a gal. It is not eve a case of common English law. What are you become responsible for example by law when you become friends wth someone? Is it also a partnership? Are you responsible by law when you enter a partnership of friendship to be there for your friend, to support him/her if they get unemployed? So, going for lunch with a co-worker means accepting a risk that during this lunch a co-worker will develop a food allergy and you OBLIGED to call 911, care for him/zhe before medicas will arive, follow him/her to a hospital, pay a bill, stay in the hospital until an immediate family wll arrive? Quite frankly it is a matter of choice.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 329 (view)

Would you date a pregnant woman? Posted: 11/18/2009 5:00:10 PM
NO NO NO. It is a very special period in a woman's life. One way or another even if she is an independant woman there will be soe emotiona wicknesses becaue her hormones shift. There will be some little insecurities and some little fears. Either way she will hope that her guy will respond to all that. He will pick up he signals fast. I would NEVER date a pregnant woman unless it it someone whom I know in relationship with and made her pregnant.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 59 (view)

Oh, its to soon to have sex... yah, blah, blah, blaw Posted: 11/18/2009 4:38:26 PM
As an average 6.5 inch man I hav neer had a sexual non-comatability in a bed room with a woman. The possibility of that sounded to me very very small. Much higher chance that she doesn't want you or needs to secure relationship and approach exclusivity (at least) before she will consider sex. I am putting it in general terms. OP, where do you find all those ladies with strange smell and who are not willing to go down on you? I never had this issue since age 17.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

2nd chance... yes or no Posted: 11/18/2009 3:18:52 PM
People make mistakes and realize it later. They may indeed sabotage the relationship firts time and do some thing later and realize they are worng.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 845 (view)

are women playing GOD when they become pregnant Posted: 11/18/2009 3:08:22 PM
I think there are FEW ways to avoid or significantly reduce all this drama. Do not trust a woman on her contraception and always use your own Do not date a woman who is obsessed with babies and clear about the fact that her clock is ticking. They can trt to trap you. Date a woman who is normal, responsible and not a control frick. Such women are not going to control a man through a child. If you are in relationship and she has a traditional views be ready to proposal and marry her. If she dosn't want children and very independant be ready that she will abort. I just do not see a normal woman who is in relationship with you upon getting pregnant will want you out of the picture. Expecting dad.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 659 (view)

are women playing GOD when they become pregnant Posted: 11/16/2009 4:19:50 PM
The above post^^^^^^^ In case of a divorce both parties may choose to have an attorney (kids or no kids). """"""""""A man should not have to pay for something that is already his, the child."""""""" Yes he should we call it child support. """"""We currently have a system wherein a man does enter a courtroom on an equal footing, that my friend is injustice. """""""" Equal footing means justice and not INjustice....... Am I not reading it right because I am not a native speaker?????

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 844 (view)

Do women cook anymore?? Posted: 11/16/2009 4:12:29 PM
My wife loooves cooking. The only tiem she stoped doing it is in her early pregnancy when all that food smell made her nausias (sp).

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 657 (view)

are women playing GOD when they become pregnant Posted: 11/16/2009 4:04:09 PM
The above post^^^^^^^ You have a choice not to sleep with a woman per se. You have a choice to wear a condom with an additional spermicid (sp) protection. You have a choice to date normal woman who are not going behind your back. You have a choice to date women with a system of values who find unaaceptable to have a kid out of wed-lock. You have a choice to hire a good attorney.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 648 (view)

are women playing GOD when they become pregnant Posted: 11/16/2009 3:43:18 PM
^^^^^^^^^ Women and men dealing with pregnancy=choices Women and men dealing with pregnancy =responsibilties Expecting father Tom.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 56 (view)

honest answer... Posted: 11/16/2009 3:04:48 PM
Only because OP said that they are FWB for me it more comes accross taht they are dating and do it exclusevely (she made a reference to that).

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

What do guys think DATING means?!! Posted: 11/16/2009 2:53:13 PM
I never used dating websites (this on is for forums) but I agree with fellas that if we want to go out on a date with a woman we hope for sex (sooner or later). Of course if she is not totally crazy or something. It is on our mind. If she is good looking and we want her the thinking shifts to a lower head and stays there until the mission is accomplished. Afte that it is a good chance it goes back to the higher head.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

What do guys think DATING means?!! Posted: 11/16/2009 2:15:17 PM
THe last firts date I had (was a while ago). I expected to have dinner with her and talk. If we hit it off we would continue to a coffee shop. We hit ot off did a coffee shop. By than I knew I wanted to have sex with her. Sex wasn't an option on the first date but I kinda offered private place for the second date. That she agreed. So, expectations for the first one were met (with the exception of sex part). But she was o.k. with kissing me on a parking lot. That was good. But I started to masturbate on her right away after that first date. Anyway, sex happened on the second one because she wanted it too. It was good. We are married now and expecting a son who was conceived 4 months after a wedding.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

should I forget it? Posted: 11/16/2009 1:41:16 PM
Hun, the cleaning lady never mentioned you name she put it in plural. No it is not her. Maybe you sent hiom some vibes that he picked up and he thinks you ahve a thing for him. The fact he isnot married doesn't mean anything, he may be in relationship with a lady.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

should I forget it? Posted: 11/16/2009 1:23:06 PM
Yes it is not a good sign. I have a tendancy to change a route if I want to ignore someone. If I were interested I would keep going straight and gret you and have a small chat and of course 5 min later I still could go to my stairs. If I were interested I would be actually very exited to run into you (of course without showing it) and just use it as another opportunity for a chat.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 612 (view)

are women playing GOD when they become pregnant Posted: 11/16/2009 1:19:02 PM
NO. Women do not turn into God when they become pregnant. If 2 mature adults decided to persue with a pregnancy no need for one of them to become God. It is a mutual agreement. Expecting father.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 93 (view)

independent women fall the hardest Posted: 11/16/2009 1:04:57 PM
Yes I FULLY agree with the statement. Usually, this category of women are accomlished in their own way. They are less shallow and they know more clear what they want versus flacky, shallow girls. They also most likey won't be interested in guys who are much below them in terms of looks, money, life style, personality and etc. Thus, they may not be interested in some sort of "nice guys" or those who are kinda below average in few parametars. When they meet what they want they let themselves go. Somehow, I also found out that independant, successful women usually work better with possible past negative experiences versus women who are not. Thus when they finally see what they wat they a allow to fall really deep and beaitifully.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

What does it mean when... Posted: 11/16/2009 12:45:52 PM
There is eiether somthing that fricks her out about the whole marrige concept or she has scond thoughts about you.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Bringing up marriage on the first date? Posted: 11/16/2009 12:35:38 PM
Honey, I know a very lovely couple on their 50 s both were divorced with grown kids who got engaged (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) on the first date. He proposed and she said yes. Both are educated professionals. They have been married since 2003 and definitely go strong.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

when i say I love you I mean it .some people just say it Posted: 11/16/2009 11:49:36 AM
I think he meant it. And didn't play you. It is o.k. to tell someone within 8 months that they love you. Some people fall in love very fast. I knew people who said L word very early in the relationship and eventually got married and stayed together for at least few years. The reason those marriges failed years later has nothing to do with an early L world.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Is it a lie if a guy says he is scared? Posted: 11/16/2009 11:09:45 AM
yes it can happen. It usually come from past experiences. We usually would say a person is not ready. But somehow if a person is not ready right away it doesn't mean he won't later.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

The betrayal of my ex haunts me.... Posted: 11/15/2009 5:15:47 PM
Sometime we have to let things go for our own sake. It is taugh but worth it.....

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

are having kids a must Posted: 11/15/2009 4:47:32 PM
Ithink if you want kids you need to find a lady who wants the same. I was all about starting from a scratch and my wife felt the same. We are expecting the first child. But again we bothe were pro marrige and pro babies.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

How much doees it take. Posted: 11/15/2009 4:44:01 PM
No a girl but for ladies whom I dated in an adult life I would say 50K. I guess it just comes to a certain life style

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

The L Word Posted: 11/15/2009 4:07:26 PM
What is NSA?????????????

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Is this a real possibility? Posted: 11/15/2009 2:41:51 PM
Yes. I do believe a man can just get scared of relationship, especially if he likes you a lot. From there some do desapear.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Guilty until proven innocent Posted: 11/15/2009 1:58:39 PM
I believe many people may have negative dating experiences for e.g. taht Joe/Jan whom they dated started cheating and they didn't suspect anything and didn't do anything wrong. From that position a person may be more careful and will choose to snoop in order to put their mind on ease. I am not saying it is ethical or right but it is bette than express a paranoic behavior and constantly question another individual. It will piss another party off, if they didn't do anything wrong. Example, I buddy of mine wanted to move with his GF with possibility of future together. He is all about financial responsibility and etc. So, when she was in a shower he found her credit card statements. Thousands of cc debt with no apparent reason was enough for him to pull a plug out of this relationship. She said she has just a little. It saved him a lot of long-term hassel.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 128 (view)

I don't care that he did, but WHY DID HE HAVE TO LIE? Posted: 11/14/2009 5:14:21 PM
I made it clear yeasterday night that the madam has issues. Hey, washiz, can you share some of those $50 with me? :) I bet the OP will reapear on some other sections and will intride herself as a good woman and will have a set of other issues related to people around her. She is OFF base and I mean it. I bet if she coming across this way in the forums she is coming accross even more poorly with all her men (whom ever they are). If you do not remember she also had some issues with a new lady of her ex. So, I guess it is not all about men. I would believe those issues but her follow up junk just changes and changes. The madam is F* UP and has an ability to be a hamilion (sp) an change her colors and seek further attention from POF on HER issues. Because apperently real people are not dealig well with her C* Anyone else remebers her saga on how they were good friends with her ex--after the divorce, he was a good man,until he met a new woman and she was crazy and he suddenly became crazy? Only in her further posts in separate secions and not directly related to the subject she claimed that he was abusive and her life was miserable and how poorly she was treated when they were together? Anyone? Poor lost kitten. May I use a word P****?

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 41 (view)

someone please try and help me understand... Posted: 11/14/2009 4:59:01 PM
I think if he has a difficulty with sending $50 per month you indeed may want to put yourself together and take him to court. You are right more than that will be expected. I have just seen pics of your boy. I am not a pedophile but he is really sweet looking. I guess I am just in a daddy mode. We recently found out that it is going to be a son :)

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

The Ex Posted: 11/14/2009 3:42:50 PM
One thing I would be concern about is moving in with a sex offender when you have a kid. Unless you never will leave alone your childwith that person. Give him a second chance but if starts showing signs of screw up just remind him your intial position that it his last chance. You an do it.

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 121 (view)

I don't care that he did, but WHY DID HE HAVE TO LIE? Posted: 11/14/2009 2:58:34 PM
OP is PLAYING YOU, FOLKS!!!! She is a drama chick and attention seeking lost kitten. On Oct 24 th she posted the following and someone noticed it above, TOO. """""""....... I had dated him about 4 months, he had asked me to be exclusive. I hide my profile and quit logging on. I got an email from an old friend so I logged on to check it and low and behold, there's my BF online! So, I started watching every few days and discovered he was getting on there regularly. I asked him about it and he said he was just looking for friends, posted on here about it and got every kind of opinion imaginable. But one poster said something that really made sense to me...She said "If you got an email from him and he said hi, I have a girlfriend and would just like to be your friend", would you have any interest in getting to know this man? That kind of answered the question for me. Joke ended up being on him. I broke it off, he still wants us to get together, as friends, because he's never found anyone else! Oh well, that's the price you pay when you play!""""""""" This chic has multiple personalities and posts a bunch of strange stuff and changes her story. Does anyone else rememeber how she wanted to date her primary care physician????? Does anyone rememeber stories coming from her on her platonic male friends and the story usually changes with her follow up. Do YOU actually buy this garbage when now she makes up a story about her guy called her friend? I mean she made a bunch of them by now and contradicted herself many time. The chick is of base big time. I mean if you could read her posts before you would know that she is not a victim of men but a VICTIM of her own head and mutiple characters (who live inside of her) that you will track when you read her saga. It just sounds too pathetic...

midlandtom

Joined: 9/23/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

I don't care that he did, but WHY DID HE HAVE TO LIE? Posted: 11/13/2009 4:59:53 PM
OP, You are WRONG! Poor kitten..... Why? Just read what you wrote, hun. You were NOT exclusive. He desided to hide his profile and eventually desided to put it back. So, what he suppose to tell you all that? You desided to hide your own profile (your choice) but it has nothing to do with exclusivity. You are very clear that you didn't want to join "exclusivity boat" too soon. And little kitten you have a problem that he put his profile back? And why to reject presumibly all those great guys who were very interested in you (according to you) if you were NOT exclsive with that dude? Is that kinda a common sence that when people are not exclusive they can see other people the way they want without reporting every step they are taking to the person with whom they are not exclusive? He did NOT lie you about anything. You were not excluive and didn't own any explanations. Post 30 ..........I think confused and self -centered OP was refering not to her family members and well-established friends she was refering to other potential suitors (whom she calls friends but kinda flirts with them). OP's statements: """""""""We haven't known each other all that long so I wasn't such a big fan of joining the 'exclusive club' so soon anyway"""""""""""" No see her follow up below mine post. Where she claims that they were aparently exclusive... Poor lost kitten.... ***** DOES ANY ONE REMEMBER a post from her about 2 months ago how she wanted to date her primary care physician because he was cute and was seeking advice from us. XAXAXAXAXAXAXA

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