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Thread: leaving pof

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

leaving pof Posted: 2/6/2008 4:01:28 PM
I am leaving pof. I have met a few friends here- but I have tried this for the better part of 2 years- I haven't found what I was looking for. I had people e-mail me wanting sexual encounters and phone sex when that was not what I was looking for. I had someone who espected that he was going to sleep with me on the very first date. It seems that no matter how you communicate or for how long, people are always going to show their true colors after they meet. I was not happy with the character or quality of most people that I met. I think I will stick to meeting people f2f, and using a catholic based site if I want to look online, at least that way I can expect to meet someone who shares the same values that I do. Good luck to those of you who are still looking, and I hope you find what you are searching for.

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

leaving pof Posted: 2/6/2008 4:01:20 PM
I am leaving pof. I have met a few friends here- but I have tried this for the better part of 2 years- I haven't found what I was looking for. I had people e-mail me wanting sexual encounters and phone sex when that was not what I was looking for. I had someone who espected that he was going to sleep with me on the very first date. It seems that no matter how you communicate or for how long, people are always going to show their true colors after they meet. I was not happy with the character or quality of most people that I met. I think I will stick to meeting people f2f, and using a catholic based site if I want to look online, at least that way I can expect to meet someone who shares the same values that I do. Good luck to those of you who are still looking, and I hope you find what you are searching for.

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

POF Scammers Posted: 1/12/2008 7:25:13 PM
Thank you- I found the link and reported the user.

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

POF Scammers Posted: 1/12/2008 5:09:38 PM
I have had communication with someone whom I believe is a scammer . He stated that he was from a large city in my state, then when I asked him questions he admitted that he is from Spain, but works in Africia, and is not even in the U.S. I asked him why he said he was from the town in his profile, and he said that he knew people from there. I know people from Washington D.C., but that does not mean that I am from there or that I've even been there. Then later I noticed a picture up that was not him, but a little girl as his main site picture. As I have been emailed from scammers Iasking for money before, I would like you to check out his profile.

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 78 (view)

Fact checking Posted: 1/12/2008 3:55:17 PM
To Those of You who have supported me, I thank you. There are those of you who felt that I was too suspicious. Sadly, my suspicions were correct when Friday evening he had e-mailed me for money. When I told him that I was not sending him any money -- that I was sending a copy of his e-mails to our state Attorney General, he then asked for the name of my bank. So HE could SEND ME MONEY. I told him no thanks and ended the conversation. I had reasons for my mistrust and doubts. Please be careful and don't let anyone scam you.

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

New years resolution is to forget about my damn ex Posted: 1/6/2008 5:59:30 AM
Solarpanel on 1/5/2008 2:04:32 PM Subject: New years resolution is to forget about my damn ex Message: Take it steady, OP. Add new experiences gradually - don't push the new b/f thing too much as it'll backfire on you. It sounds as though you've been through a sharp grief curve - I lost 3 stone in 3 months when I split from my ex a decade ago. I could do with that happening now but I wouldn't want what caused it. I've always wondered how much exactlly is a "stone"? OP I know it may seem like a platatude, but you are young still - you have many more boyfriends still in your future. Don't rush into a new one until you have healed. Life will get better. One day you will wake up and find that he doesn't matter anymore.

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

Military Sexual Trauma Posted: 1/5/2008 8:43:30 PM
nona37 on 1/3/2008 115 PM Subject: Military Sexual Trauma Message: "So, we willingly go to battle in the name of protecting "our" freedom and in the name of restoring (or creating) some sense of Human Rights in the country(s) we invade." What does the politics of war have to do with women and men who are raped and sexually assaulted? This thread is about people within our military who are victims of sexual crimes, please stay on the topic!!!! nona37 - thank you. the topic is military sexual trauma - some people just don't get it. or they would prefer to pretend that it does not/never did happen. yeh right! PTSD isn't fun, we didn't ask for it.

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Military Sexual Trauma Posted: 1/3/2008 11:11:40 AM
As a female veteran I can relate to this- Several years ago when the "tailhook scandal" came to light female veterans were sent a form letter asking if they had been or if they knew of another female veteran who had been assaulted while on the milatary. I threw mine away. I did not know of a female veteran who had NOT been assaulted physically or verbally. There is excellent counselling available at local Vet Centers. These centerers are specifically for counselling, as part of the Veterans Administration system. and include help for veterans male or female of Iraq/Afganistan or other past conflicts or ANY female veteran. They help with PTSD and other traumas. It is my understanding that funding to provide for 50 more Vet Centers is underway.

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 45 (view)

Dream killing relationships Posted: 1/1/2008 4:57:53 PM
: " Broward, you could have insisted on living in cities that advanced your career Normally I'd try to approach this with a sense of humor. But this particular issue is not a joke to me and your answer indicates to me that you're clueless about marriage and relationships and compromise. In the end, I DID insist and that's why I'm divorced. " I can understand where you are coming from and I completely understand. I had been a senior in college when I got married. After we we married he moved us out to the country and because we only had one vehicle, I was not able to continue. This was not the cause of my marriage falling apart, but it did add bitterness to it. 20 something years later I am divorced, and I am back in school. My son had told me I was too old to go back to school, that I'd be 50+ when I finished, but I'd be 50+ anyway. Better late than never. ::

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 86 (view)

Do you forewarn the next Victim ? Posted: 12/31/2007 1:52:33 AM
First let me say I am so sorry for what you have gone through. I had ended a 20 year marriage and was devistated. After my divorce, one of my best friends, and next door neighbor were telling me of what my ex had done. It seemed as if poeple could not wait to come out of the woodwork fast enought to tell me of the evils he had done. I asked why they didn't tell me years earlier. They said, simpley, that they knew I would not believe them. They had tried to tell me things before and I would not listen. I could not believe that the man I had loved would behave in such a manner. It turned out that the behavior that I had left him for, was only the tip of the iceburg. Had I listened I would have saved myself and my children years of torment and grief. What doesn't kill us, will make us stonger. It is hard to live with the pain, but let it go. He has moved on and isn't giving you a moment thought. Your pain is not hurting him one little bit. I wish you well.

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 241 (view)

Cheaters aren't necessarily evil? Posted: 12/30/2007 10:31:07 PM
HuggaMonkey on 3/2/2007 500 AM Subject: Cheaters aren't necessarily evil? Message: I agree that I don't think they are evil...they just have a weak personality and are selfish..I personally have never ever cheater...nor would I....I have been cheated on and it hurts...why would I wanna do that to someone else?? I never could understnad those 'people' who could sleep with married men or women...with the attitude 'well they are gonna cheat on their spouce so if it's not me it's someone else...so who cares' that to me is worse than the cheater...cuz you know they have a wife and kids... but that is just my 2 cents! " I am in complete agreement with HuggaMonkee. Even though this is an old thread- I have been cheated on, and it does hurt. I have no sympathy towards those that cheat-if you are not happy in a relationship- leave. Be a man (or woman)- end one relationship before starting another. It is not fair to those of us that are being cheated on, and its not fair to the children.

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 68 (view)

Fact checking Posted: 12/29/2007 6:06:34 PM
I never said he was a young guy. I'm in school. he's not. He has a Masters degree.

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 53 (view)

Fact checking Posted: 12/28/2007 5:51:39 PM
to those of you who were kind enough to reply: You do not know me or my history. Yes I do have a reason to want to be sure. I have PTSD. I try not to judge all men by the same paintbrush as my ex, but my ex had seriously hurt those that I loved and hopefully he will serve life in prison for what he has done. I know this man is not my ex, but I want to be sure when there is statements, that although they may be completely innocent, seem to contradict each other.

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Fact checking Posted: 12/28/2007 3:11:37 AM
I am receieving emails from someone from another dating site. After chatting over a period of time, I gave him my phone number and he gave me his. We have not had a face2face yet. After we had been chatting for approx a month he removed his profile from this other site. We were to have a "date" last Sunday, but he called me up and said he had to go home, (to another country) his mother is ill. He still emails me and/or calls me every day, and wants us to have a "relationship". I do not want to rush into anything - I want to be sure. He said he will come back to States in early January, and gave me the date of his return. I checked out the college he said he attended in another country.(I had saved his emails) It does exist as well as the company he said he worked for. I do not know how to check to see if he actually did attend this school or work at this company. When I try to call him the line is busy, but he can and does call me. But the voice sounds funny on the phone, like it can when on a open line. When I asked him about it, he said it must be a connection thing. I tried to google the name he gave me - but it does not come up, for his state. The same thing for the phone number. It is a real phone number, but how do I determine if it is really his? I googled the address he gave me in his country and it came up on the map as a real address, I presume it is his. But how do I really find out? I would like to believe him, he seems to be a really nice, sweet guy, but I want to be sure. I dont have any reason to distrust him. He told me that the time zone was one hour difference when he was at home in the states. This would be correct. But when he asked me what time it is here, he has told me time difference of 12 hours, 8 hours and 7 hours. Today I talked with him an the telephone , and later we had IM'd each other. Then he said he was tired and was going to go to bed. About 15 minutes later he sent me a picture he told me he was going to send. When He IM'd me again about an hour after that, I asked if he was not sleeping well, and he said, that he was going back to bed, and signed off. I don't know if it is a comunication thing, or what- but I want to be sure. If this guy is for real, then it would be nice, because he seems to be a really nice guy, but how do I find out for sure? Oh yeah- when its time for him to come home, and if he calls or emails me asking for the fair back to the states, then its bye-bye time. any advice?

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 168 (view)

Catholicism vs Wiccan Posted: 12/28/2007 2:43:26 AM
Agnostic is NOT the same as Wiccan. As a Catholic, you already know that. Your family being catholic as well (I presume) would be at least uncomfortable with it. If you ever intend for this to be a relationship, then you should be upfront with your family. Or it could cause some real problems later. They would consider you haveving been less than honest with them, and it could backfire on you and your relationship with this lady.. This lady, no matter what she means to you now or in the future, is a relationship. But your family, they are your family forever, so you need to evaluate your relationship with your family and consider how this will relate to it, and if you will be comfortable with it. I wish you well.

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 176 (view)

Beware: eHarmony sucks... Posted: 12/27/2007 3:49:50 PM
I have met people on here that I would not have met elsewhere- Right now I'm seeing someone that I met on a catholic site, and so far it looks good. I have met good people here who became friends, even though the ones I had attempted to date here didnt work out. I would still recommend this site.

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 174 (view)

Beware: eHarmony sucks... Posted: 12/27/2007 3:39:47 PM
I havent tried eharmony- I'm on a students budget. But I did try out a catholic site that I like which also has lessons and chat rooms. I got tired of guys on this site when we got as far as a actual face to face date, would expect to sleep with me on a first date, no matter what I put in my profile. I think I'll stick with the catholic guys,---at least I know what they are supposed to believe. I know that in todays world it may be old fashioned- but- for me it is how I believe, and is definately safer.

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 52 (view)

first year without my dad Posted: 12/24/2007 9:23:11 PM
I'm sorry to hear of your loss and can feel your pain. I lost both of my parents at age 68, my father in 1973 and my mother in 1994. For a while I was angry at my father for dying. Sounds silly doesn't it? I was upset that he was going to miss my high school graduation, my wedding, the birth of my childrn. All the perceived highlights of my life. but now looking back, I see his death as a kindness. He had altzheimers, and he would not have wanted to live dependant on others. He thought that Elvis was obsene, can you imagine wht he would think of todays' world? It does get easier as time goes on. You won't get "over it", but the pain will fade and you will remember your happier memories. Sometimes you will pick up the phone or think that he'll enjoy something that happened, and then you realize he isn't there. But that's okay. I like to think they are looking down on me.

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

What are you doing now to improve your future love life? Posted: 12/18/2007 8:42:48 PM
"I've been spending the last almost 2 years getting to re-know me and who I am without the issues a relationship or dating brings. I like me. I like the company I keep in my quiet moments. Unlike "some" ( not all ) who are seeking someone to fill a void, I have no void. So should the time come that I decide to put myself back in the dating game, at least whoever I find will have a whole person to relate too, and that is what I'll expect in return. " This is what I have been trying to say, and you have said it beautifly. Author: sandra56

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Inside the mind of a serial seducer Posted: 12/11/2007 10:32:33 PM
previous reply was in response to what babe 0304 had said.

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Inside the mind of a serial seducer Posted: 12/11/2007 10:30:58 PM
I agree with what you said. In the words of someone I work with, that her mother had said "you might come home with something that won't wash off". It's a dangerios world out there to play those kind of games. Deadly.

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 168 (view)

my ex is dyeing with cancer what do i do Posted: 11/5/2007 7:28:39 AM
My sister went through the same thing. He son went back and stayed with his dad to help to see him through. It was hard for him and for my sister and the girls. I will pray for you. be at peace

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 57 (view)

Weirdos and Freaks Posted: 11/4/2007 3:39:54 PM
My previous response was to msg 11 specifically.

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 56 (view)

Weirdos and Freaks Posted: 11/4/2007 3:38:35 PM
It sounds as if you have researched this. I haven't, or at least hope that I haven't met anyone who falls into these catagories, although I have ran into online players. But I have met some who are dear friends. Is life really that cynical?

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 362 (view)

How many 5' women are scared of a 6' over 200lb man? Posted: 11/3/2007 8:41:28 AM
I'm short, 5'2 and I've seen a couple of guys 6'. Other than being short enough for him to use my head as an elbow rest . No problem for either of us in any way. No problem, no "crushing" involved. Besides like a guy I can look up to.

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

In the middle of the night? Posted: 10/22/2007 8:03:03 PM
wow, I thought it was just me. I don't miss him--it took me this long to want to be happy, to feel that I deserve to be happy. I miss the closeness, someone to talk to who won't judge what I say, I miss a head print on the other pillow. I miss what I should have had. I miss not having it now. The waking up in the middle of the night feeling empty.

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

heartbroken and running Posted: 10/18/2007 2:56:49 PM
Sweetie, I am sorry for your pain. I know it may sound as a platitude, but you will heal your pain and it will get easier with time. Many times someone who wants to end a relationship will turn it around on the other person to ease their own guilt and inner conflict. Thats okay. You know that you didn't cheat. It is a problem within him. Many times a cheater will blame and accuse the other person of cheatining, again this is an attempt to ease or justify within themselves of their own guilt. Your desire to have him back in your life is normal reaction to the shock of the breakup. This okay, realize it for what it is., and move on with you own life. Take time to heal before you attempt to move into another relationship. There is nothing wrong with you. You do not need to blame yourself for his behavior. He is the one who cheated, not you. You also need to do some serious self annalysis to understand why it was okay with you to accept his cheating. You had stated that he had cheated many times. Was your need for him to be in the relationship stronger than your self image, so that you accepted his ill treatment of you? You need to understand this, and fix this so that you don't allow an another man to maltreat you. My prayer are with you, and I wish you well. Smile sweetie, it will get better. been there done that, only it took me 20 years to realize I didn't need to accept the way he treated me and that I deserved better. Good luck dear.

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

The ONLY squash I'll eat Posted: 10/17/2007 2:08:43 PM
My children love spagetti squash, even my youngest who doesnt like squash. They now cook it at home for their families.

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Has anyone here had this happen? Posted: 10/13/2007 5:34:17 PM
Its happened to me a lately, I thought it was just me, but I am begaining to think it is the nature of this kind of site. I've tried other sites and its about the same thing. If I had time in my real life to meet guys my own age I would. Hence the reason for the site. Does any body else have any answers?

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