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zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

A male question for women Posted: 5/7/2009 3:26:53 PM
At my age, a man that is breathing would do....just kidding! However, stretch marks would be the least of my worries. I have my flaws also and to bad if some man doesn't like it. It's me, all I have to offer, so take it or leave it. Not a big deal! "Z"

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 52 (view)

Party in New Castle, PA Saturday Jan. 24 2009 Posted: 1/10/2009 6:19:16 AM
Thanks everyone....encouragement much appreciated! I'll see what I can do. Any other ladies staying over night anywhere? Maybe we could share a hotel room? "Z"

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 43 (view)

Party in New Castle, PA Saturday Jan. 24 2009 Posted: 1/7/2009 11:42:32 AM
Sounds like a Great time! Would kind of like to go, but it is a 1.5 hour drive for me and alone at night, not sure I want to do that. I am a little shy about going to parties where I don't know anyone. Maybe if I found someone local who would want to share a ride together??? If I don't make it, I hope you all have a wonderful time! "Z"

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 162 (view)

How to forget someone? How to let go? Posted: 11/2/2008 7:21:19 PM
Well I think we have all been there and we seemed to have made it! I have had a few LTR that ended and it' is tough on the heart. One thing I learned is to not talk to that person or see them, if you can avoid it. The man in my last 2 yr relationship wanted to get together as friends a few months later. I explained to him that I just couldn't do it and I didn't think it was a wise thing for my heart. He was good about it and understood. It is now a year later and we have talked on the phone about 2 times in that year. With time, it got better and I could now see him and it would not be an issue. We remained friends, but could not be in contact with one another. It gave me time to heal and move on. If they cared for you, he or she would understand and respect that request. Later, when you have coped with it and settled it in your heart, then you can remain friends. "Z"

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 543 (view)

So please tell me...what is it with (some) men that think younger women are better??? Posted: 10/19/2008 2:45:25 PM
Well I sure do not look at young boys or even young men! I Have a young son/man and that just is not my style! I'd much rather have a more mature man my own age that I would have more in common with. AND....I like experience and his wisdom. As for men wanting younger women, so be it...doesn't bother me! They have no clue what they are missing when turning away experienced mature women who can satisfy them in all respects of life, just not the bedroom. Plus...younger women usually move on to the younger guys after they get what they want out of the more established older men. Younger pretty women know how to play their game and get very good at it. I hear young women talk all the time about it. They giggle and laugh and know they got the body to lure in their Sugar Daddy! SO...Be careful whatcha ask for! "Z"

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 101 (view)

Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter? Posted: 8/26/2008 4:47:57 PM
Not really....I get a feel for his attitude and thoughts about women having to be perfect or without the flaws of life on ones body. However, some men would say anything to get you to sleep with them. At my age and with all the jerks I have met....they either like me or they do not. I know what I have to offer a man sexually and emotionally. I agree with the one gentleman...he should be making you feel special and accepted by the time that point of the relationship comes into play. I think by then, he will have said or done something to let you know where he stands on the issue. It's a risk and you just have to go with your gut and hope he doesn't insult you or use you as an end result. "Z"

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

Emotiona/Physicial closeness Posted: 8/26/2008 4:39:15 PM
I want both! I do not want one without the other. I am past that in my life and am in the "total package" phase of life. There is nothing like the euphoria of emotional love coupled with love making. I do not want the emptiness just sex results in afterwards. I would much rather have my emotional, affectionate, respected side met, then add the physical...can't beat that with just one or the other! Hmmmm...does it exist for men to want that also??? "Z"

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 50 (view)

Why Didn't He Call? (discuss an article) Posted: 3/15/2008 5:08:06 PM
I do agree that even if you meet someone and there is a chemistry, sometimes it is the wrong timing for you both to be in a relationship. I have found out the hard way. We met thinking it would only be as friends. We knew he had work to commute to from state to state. This was an impossible situation. So, we meet and bang! It hit us both...we were goo goo over one another without expecting it. We enjoyed our weekend on a friendly basis, fighting urges the whole time. It was rather sad to feel the way we did. We were not in the same phase of life where it would have been possible. We remained friends, but eventually lost touch. We were simply honest with one another. He told me , he could not spread himself that thin with work and his children and I could not wait around for him, to only see him here and there. It is that simple....you meet and if you decide it is not something you want to pursue, you tell the other person quickly. If you meet and after several dates, you feel that way, then tell them! Disappearing is a cowards way out and is just wrong.

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Why Didn't He Call? (discuss an article) Posted: 3/12/2008 5:17:16 PM
Why would anyone be on a dating site if they do not have the time to date. What I mean by that is...not just date me, but date anyone for that matter. If you cannot date people because you are to busy or work all the time, then don't ask people out that desire to go out and get to know this person. It doesn't mean we will automatically be dating partners because we had a first meet. I am on this site to find a dating partner, not a quick fling when and if someone has the time. I don't like dating multiple partners. I would want someone avaialble if we hit it off. Why waste my time on someone that cannot fulfill that desire??? If you are only into quick flings, dating others, just want a buddy to do things with, then fine, but do not contact someone you know that it is stated in their profile, that they want long term and not just casual dating. I think it is a very logical, reasonable question to see if you have the same idea about dating. Wow, I have been ask a lot more personal and uncomfortable questions than that! To each his own...but I am not wasting my time on waiting around for someone always cancelling dates and has no time for me....that's pointless for me.

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Why Didn't He Call? (discuss an article) Posted: 3/11/2008 4:10:58 AM
Oh goodness...Passion4RoadStar! If you call wisdom not understanding maturity in communication, going into dating someone with different goals only to set yourself up for disappointment, then yes..it is no wonder you would agree with the much younger point of view. BTW...it didn't "Ouch" , for I am confident, not set in my ways...a big difference!

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

Why Didn't He Call? (discuss an article) Posted: 3/10/2008 12:09:16 AM
iamnotsinfuld...Ya think so huh? Hmmmm...smacks of desperation? By finding out whether a man has time to date me and truly has the desire to date and not be "just friends" is only realism and honesty. Afterall, you describe yourself as honest in your profile. Why should that make any one uncomfortable or put them on the spot? You said yourself, you don't want to be just friends, but you also called yourself a prick. Desperation is far from it...it is called "next?", if you intend to play the, "I don't have time game". So what if a man is uncomfortable with the questions I ask...I could care less...if he can't handle it at his age, then he is not worth the time to date in the first place. When you become my age, you know what you want and don't have the time to deal with all the excuses and mind games. As I tell all my kids your age....you'll find out ...good luck!

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Why Didn't He Call? (discuss an article) Posted: 3/8/2008 6:38:56 PM
I think it is more that they weren't really into me. Afterall, they took the time to meet me in the first place and usually always took the time to call, write emails and get to the point of asking for a first meet. Before I even meet a man for a first meet, I ask if he has the time and desire to date. I am sure there are cases of emergencies or unknown events that could get in the way, but I feel that is rare. Sometimes the excuses are just a polite way of saying that they were not truly interested. If someone is TRULY interested in you, they will try their best to make time for you. As for me, I prefer plain old honesty, but once a man gives me an excuse, then I get the hint very clearly.

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 88 (view)

Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations? Posted: 2/22/2008 9:31:20 PM
I insist on at least one phone conversation before I meet anyone. Sure, it's not a 100% in knowing somone, but it has helped me many times to decide on whether to meet someone or not. I feel it has saved me alot of disappointment and in one case, it probably may have saved my life. I once was emailing back and forth with a man who was about 45 minutes away from me. It would have been an easy meet as far as distance was concerned. In email, he seemed fine and like someone I'd really like to meet. No signs in his emails or his picture that he was not anything but normal. I insisted we talk on the telephone at least once before meeting, as I usually do. Let me tell you...he was the craziest man I have ever come across from a dating site! About 10 minutes into the conversation, he started saying really crazy things. He NEVER stopped talking and I could not get a word in edge wise. At one point, he told me, he was contemplating suicide and had the gun in his mouth that very night, but a pastor friend talked him out of it. He told me horror stories of his dating life and his life in general. When I finally had the chance to tell him that we were not a match afterall, he became very angry and threatened me. If I would have been out somewhere with him and said this to him, it is hard to tell how he would have reacted towards me in public or not. This man was crazy enough to have done anything to me no matter where we were. I am a mental health nurse and there were no signs of this in his emails. I would have easily picked up on it. I absolutely will not meet without a telephone conversation for many reasons. As others have stated...you hear their voice, their intonations and reactions to questions, it is a sign they are truly single and have nothing to hide, you can tell if they have a sense of humor or are boring to talk to or will even talk, it does give you the freedom to call if you are going on the date to say you are late or are lost. I am so glad I talked to that man that night on the phone and did not meet him on his emails alone. That's just my opinion and experience, but it was enough to convince me. Even if it is not a 100% sure way of knowing, it is better than blind faith to me.

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Ladies , I really need your opinion here. Posted: 2/22/2008 6:57:34 PM
I feel you are just being a good human being, and you are sensitive to her needs. There could be some inner guilt also, I don't know you, but guilt in the smallest form can make us do good things for others we have loved or still love. It is not always a bad thing. I think it is great you can still be her friend and do it genuinely. My Ex and I are still very good friends. Our children are grown, but he lives locally and if and when I need him for something, he does it without hesitation and I for him. When we are in relationships, we respect that and do not cross any lines to cause trouble in that relationship. We have never had any sexual experiences with each other since we seperated and then divorced. I was married to him for 20 years and if I can't be friends with him and still have some kind of love for him in my heart, then I have lost something within myself somewhere in the process. I am not in love with my EX, but I do care about him. We have both moved on and have relationships. None of the men I have had long term relationships with, felt threatened by him. This is because, there is a line of respect for my partner I do not cross. Those men could see the innocence of the relationship and could witness it only as a civil divorce with friendship involved only. It would be wrong if you put your Ex before your relationships that you may have now. Only in extreme cases would it be appropriate. If I met a man who was friendly with his Ex, I would consider that a plus and would tell me something about his character. I will admit, it cannot always be civil in some cases, depending on the dynamics of the divorce and marriage history. For those of us who do not have that problem, it is in our best interest to set aside the hurt feelings and move on without the baggage of hate and revenge. I say, do what you feel is right. If you are in a relationship and problems arise from it, then maybe you should step back, take a second look at what you are doing and then simply communicate a solution with your partner. You're okay in my book!

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

salvation through a relationship: How dangerous? Posted: 2/22/2008 6:37:46 PM
I beleive that salvation and personal fulfillment comes from within yourself and only from you. To me, it is not possible to love another fully or in a healthy way if we are not aware of our own inner self. Confidence and self love will nourish the soul and therefore will automatically be given to others without effort. Loving who you are and being happy with you, does not mean arrogance,**ness, self righteousness or having an inflated ego. Loving one's self is humbling and creates a natural ora that draws people in comfortably. Arrogance,**ness and self righteousness is only a blind illusion of security and not self love and fulfillment. Salvation and self fulfillment through a relationship will almost certainly lead to a co-dependency that is unhealthy for both in the relationship. If both come into the relationship with a well centered self fulfillment, then the relationship grows and flourishes off of one another. This brings a variety of potential inner growth for both also. By giving and sharing yourself with confidence and being fulfilled with your inner self, the sky is the limit to happiness and contentment. Neither will drain the life emotionally out of the other. A relationship is only one aspect of our inner self being fulfilled. We can express our inner self in many different ways, but a relationship cators to the part of us that craves to be loved, given affection and even the sexual experience. Nothing can replace that part of our inner selves. We will experience many forms and levels of love and attention. Loving my children cannot be replaced with love of a partner or any kind of love for that matter. The same is true for a relationship with a partner. They all have their place and part of our inner soul that needs nourished as human nature has planned for us. It's like the old saying...."You cannot love others, until you love yourself." To me that means "salvation and fulfillment within yourself." No one can give that to you. To try to fulfill your inner self with a relationship, you will only be fooling yourself into false happiness. Wow...this is deep! Never put it into words before!

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 101 (view)

What really excites your date after 45 Posted: 2/16/2008 3:36:04 PM
Where I live, it is seasonal weather here. I have all four seasons of different kinds of weather. In the winter, your choices are limited, as it is very cold and snowy right now. Personally, I do like to relax and chill out while meeting someone. Talking and observing is good for me. As it has been said...meeting up for a drink or dinner can get you out of an uncomfortable situation faster. If the first meet goes well, then you have plenty of opportunities on later dates to do all the exciting fun stuff. My main objection is to talk and just enjoy one anothers company for the first meet. There is alot to be learned by just talking and not hiding their personality behind a bunch of activity. That's just my style and to each his own!

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

What men and women seek and expect? Posted: 2/16/2008 8:01:46 AM
Yes OP , I agree that there are definitly "zones" and some people do want more than the zone they are in. I understand what you are trying to relay. I have seen it many times with friends and in my own experience. I had a male friend who insisted on dating only blonde Barbie type girls, however he was far from being a Ken. He continually passed over women in his zone. He dated a few Barbie women, but a lot of $$$$ later, they dumped him and they always teased him just enough to give him hope they would eventually sleep with him. Well...they never did and he could not figure out why this kept happening??? He just could not accept the fact he was out of his zone. Women do it too. It is not gender specific. I agree, if you want to date certain types of people, then be sure you are in their zone and can bring at least the same as they would bring to the table. Myself, I have my preferences and I know what I have to offer in looks and my life. I don't over shoot my boundaries, for I feel it is only setting myself up for disappointment. I am rejected even within my zone and I have rejected others, so it is just a part of the process you deal with. I am not looking for a miracle or the perfect man...I am certainly not the perfect woman. Attraction is important and is human nature. However, I don't care how attractive or rich he may be. If I find he does not have the character and heart I am looking for, then all the "pretty stuff" is a mute point. The whole pacakge would be nice, but it will most likely not happen. All I know is, when it clicks and we are compatible in many ways, then I hope it will be worth it for him to see it's worth and is able to look beyond the first intial attraction. "Zones"...yes some do really get stuck in the wrong one and end up in "The Twilight Zone".

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 62 (view)

what do u think of this? Posted: 2/12/2008 8:52:26 PM
Getting a background check is not so bad. A lot of people, including myself, have state requirements to get #33 & #34 clearances in my state to even be hired. They are also very easy to access. Do you know, many people who are related to or friends with someone in the police force on some level, can easily do a background check? It's not ethical, but we all know it is done and not a secret. A background check can save a lot of heartache in the long run, especially if you do not know this person, they are vague about themselves or from out of state. If you have nothing to hide, then why sweat it. You can google people's addresses and phone numbers with a few clicks. It's really not that hard to check up on someone. We do not think twice about giving info online to order merchandise. Scammer/Hackers stole a friend of mines idenity and knew everything about him...it was really weird. He was online using his Idenity to scam women on dating sites for money. Most of us are aware of this scamming, but some don't or get sucked in easily. So...I say...better safe than sorry!

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 60 (view)

what do u think of this? Posted: 2/12/2008 7:47:36 PM
My gut tells me, we are not hearing the entire story. We are only hearing his side. I don't know....I think this one sided story smells fishy

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 61 (view)

Guessing a woman's age Posted: 2/11/2008 8:55:07 PM
I hate it when a man asks me that! Yes...men have asked me that question. First of all...it is a big turn off for me. Of course it is obvious he thinks he is younger looking than his age and he is fishing for a compliment. I tell them the truth...I say "oh no, you are not going to get me to play that game, because I am terrible at it. Wonder if I am wrong and insult you? Ask me another question." It works every time and they don't pressure me and insist. I do not mind at all telling anyone my age. I never had a problem with it. Now, you ask me my weight...I would NEVER tell anyone my weight. Even when I was thinner, I would not reveal the number. Personally, I think it is very tacky and would show me something in your character to ask someone what your age is. Everyone sees others differently. I have been told I look younger many times, but I don't think it is because of how I look. I think it is because of my attitude and how I act. There is a big difference. I don't care how old or young you look. If you do not have the personality to go along with it....it is a useless point. BTW...I guessed a few profile right on the number...being a psych nurse, I am very observant....not always a good thing.

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 43 (view)

Is it really THAT strange?? Posted: 2/11/2008 2:01:03 PM
NO! It is wonderful for your children and you are setting a very good example of being a mature adult. My ex and I are good friends and I even hooked him up with a woman I had met. I knew they would hit it off great and both were looking for a companion. I liked her alot, knew she'd be around my children and what better way to make sure the "other woman" in their lives would fit my approval! My Ex ended up dating her for 3 years, the kids liked her and at family get togethers for the kids, she and I had a lot of fun together. Everyone was happy and that's all that matters. So what if someone thinks it's weird...they are just probably jealous! Good for you!

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 31 (view)

Multiple Personality? Posted: 2/11/2008 2:27:27 AM
True Multiple Personality Disorder is very rare. People over use the term that do not truly know what it is it clinically. So no, you do not have it. It simply sounds to me like a lot of drama and bad choices on your part. I agree with some of the other posters about menapause. Being in your late 40's makes it more likely than the usual PMS. Menapause can make you act goofier than usual. I suggest a visit to your doctor. Hormone replacement may help you tremendously. I am sure this guy thought you were acting crazy and you were....I said "acting" not truly crazy. I don't know your personal situation quite well enough, but if you have past issues you need to deal with, I'd consider some therapy. This is not stable or even safe behavior. You had not known this man for very long to know how he would react to your temper tantrum and God knows what he may have done to you in anger. You do not sound ready to date to me. I think you need some advise on your possible hormonal imbalance and if there are issues that are causing you to act irrationally, then get that baggage taken care of. I did not mean to offend you in any way. I do hope you can figure out why you over reacted and become more confident and stable while dating. Some other guy might not have been as gracious as to leave without hurting you. Good luck!

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 32 (view)

The Truth About Guys & Dogs Posted: 2/10/2008 9:40:42 PM
NO you are not a wimp! My dog is my buddy and if she passed, I'd be devastated. She is a part of our family. My son is leaving for the Navy this week and he is so torn up about missing our dog. Animals have a way to touch our hearts in ways a human cannot. They just love us because we walk in the door! Don't feel weird about grieving over your friend. Just because he was a dog, does not make the grieving any less. Time will be your friend and you will start only remembering the good times with him. I am sure Kipper was glad you were a part of his life and loved and appreciated you.

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Biggest mistake of my life... Posted: 2/10/2008 9:30:29 PM
The past is simply that...the past! What I'd like to know is how she found out??? And...how old is this woman anyway? Geez...we ALL have the scary skeletons in our past. It can be hard to tell someone something you may have been ashamed of in the past. I feel it is only neccessary to tell past experiences if it affects the person you are in the present. It sounds like a young mistake you made and big deal! Maybe you should have told her, but for her to give up love for something little you did years ago is not very smart on her part. I am sure there are some things a person could not accept about someones past, but I feel it would have to be major stuff! Just hang in there....surely she will get over it and forgive you. If she doesn't, she's a fool!

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

should i have a problem here??? Posted: 2/10/2008 9:17:57 PM
I know how you feel. It has happened to me before and it does leave you wondering what the heck is going on? It pi$$ed me off when I got an email a day later. It was the respect issue with me. It's rude and it shows your character. It was not about paranoia of being with someone else or whatever he was doing. It was the fact he didn't call and just tell me he wasn't showing up. Beware of people who do not respect you enough to give you a 2 minute phone call to cancel. If they do it early on, then they will do it later too.

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 45 (view)

foreplay Posted: 2/10/2008 9:07:25 PM
I totally agree that foreplay starts in the mind. Foreplay can start during the day with even a simple phone call to say you miss me. After dinner, stimulating me with sweet words or even erotic words in my ear, touching my cheek, holding my hand, playing with my hair, hugging me tightly...and those are just some ways. Once you get into my mind, I can't resist it. What I have been disappointed with in men is their rush to stop the kissing. I love to kiss and passionate kisses will push me running to the bedroom. I feel kissing is very important, but to many men give you a few kisses and then that's it. As I grew older and more confident as a sexual woman, I have found that men do like to be told what does or does not feel good. I would want them to tell me! I have even told men to tell me what he wants or if I am doing it right for him. I, on the other hand, gently tell or guide the man to what pleasures me. With movements and my verbal responses, he usually picks up on the fact it feels good. No one wants to make love to a dead fish. You got to let yourself go and enjoy it so your partner can get pleasure from pleasing you. Guys...if you get into her mind, you will get into her pants!

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Is it too soon???? Posted: 2/10/2008 11:34:41 AM
If he is truly your friend and intimacy is a part of it, you have to be honest with him. He deserves that from you. You need to let him decide if he wants to wait for you or not. The longer you keep him in the relationship and are not being honest with him, he may be become even more hurt by all of this. Do him and yourself a favor....respect him and yourself by being honest and telling him. If he does not want to wait, you both can at least walk away friends, keep in touch and still respect one another. Who knows what could happen down the road for the two of you. If you hurt him to badly by lying by in stringing him along, you may lose the friendship forever.

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 137 (view)

Would You Tolerate This Behaviour? Posted: 2/10/2008 11:25:51 AM
There is no excuse for not calling, especially 2 times. I am sure he is liking all this attention and keeping 3 to ? women dangling at his beckon call. Any man or woman would be. The real issue here is what YOU want in dating. He already told you his aspirations of dating and proved it to you. Personally, I'd leave him alone and see what he does with my silence. If he called again, I'd be upfront with him what you want. There is no other way or you will be compromising yourself. If you don't tell him what you want from him and stick to it, he will keep doing exactly what he is doing now. He may be trying to decide who is the better match for him, but waiting around and hanging onto his calls and emails is not a way for you to live. Be honest with him and when you are, I'll bet he'll disappear, which is probably what would happen if you wait around for him anyway. If he is truly interested in you, you'll know it and will not be guessing what, who and where. He is disrespecting you by not calling. Is that what you want from a man?

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 49 (view)

Do you have long nails? Posted: 2/9/2008 10:42:05 AM
Oh...I forgot to say something.... I do not have acrylic nails to get men, nor do I care if they like them or not. I do it for myself. It is not an "extra" thing I do to impress a man. I agree...men probably could care less about a womans nails. But...all I am saying, is that men have noticed and always compliment me on them when on a date...that's all. I would hope I wouldn't have to use fake nails to get a date...that's a ridiculous concept!

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 43 (view)

Do you have long nails? Posted: 2/9/2008 5:25:22 AM
I have worn acrylic nails for the past 12 years. I go to a very reputable nail tech who takes very good care of me. When you get acrylic nails and you get fungus underneath them, it is your own fault. You must go at least every 2 weeks and have them checked, filled and manicured. I had one very tiny fungus spot on one nail all these years. It was my own fault because I knew the nail was lose and didn't get it taken care of, therefore water got underneath it and caused the moisture that fungus likes. I love my nails and it is just an individual choice whether you like them and are dedicated enough to maintain them every 2 weeks. It is only an hour or less of my time to get them done. There is not much I buy for myself other than my nails and it is my treat to myself. My nail tech is very reasonable in her pricing and because I have went to her for so many years, she does a repair free. I get compliments constantly on my nails. They look very real because I go to someone who knows what they are doing. I have seen nails on women who have had a bad job done and they do look horrible. It is all in who you go to, how experienced they are and the products they use. Women and men both compliment me. EVERY man I ever met to date notices my nails and loves them. I am sure men do not date women just for their nails, long or short. The only thing I have found that I cannot do with them is go bowling, which is no big deal at all to me. I do everything with them and when I do not have them on, it feels weird. You just get used to them. I can type, change diapers, fasten my jewelry...anything! There are certain jobs that a woman would have that could not wear them. Any kind of physical labor job would be a catylist for them to break easier. And...I wash my hands just as anyone should and do not have gross "stuff" under my nails. I would hope whether you have long or short nails that you wash your hands and make sure your nails are clean also.

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

HELP...Need Rental at Ocean City Maryland! Posted: 2/8/2008 9:56:23 PM
Thanks bluisugar....I will take a look and see

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 50 (view)

Too busy to date then why try Posted: 2/8/2008 12:59:05 AM
I agree with most of the what has been said here. Okay...if you are to busy to date, then only seek out those in your same situation. I specifically put in my profile that I am only looking for men who have time to date and in search of a long term relationship. If a man contacts me, then I would assume he wants the same. After talking to him a for a few weeks, he starts making excuses why he cannot make the time to have a first meet. I simply move on....it is a big red flag for me. I agree totally...if he cannot make the time to meet me, then he obviously is not seeing me as worth the effort. These guys will waste your time for weeks if you keep hoping they will find the time. Not once has a man who claims he works to much or has this or that to do as an excuse to meet, has ever followed through on a first date. It is very simple to me and the message is loud and clear. I will not waste my time and move on!

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 36 (view)

finding out what she really likes Posted: 2/7/2008 7:42:56 PM
A dozen was to many in my opinion. It was nice, but over the top. When I am getting to know a man, I don't expect or want gifts. I just want to relax, talk , laugh, maybe go out and enjoy a nice dinner, drinks and even maybe some entertainment. Plus, a single rose on the first date has been done to death! Gifts are great after you are in a relationship. It is endearing and thoughtful. Any gifts before that would make me feel uncomfortable.

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 228 (view)

Teased for liking bbw's Posted: 2/6/2008 3:25:42 PM
jf468...yes, I agree and my post refers to race or whatever prejudice people have. I mainly referred to over weight because the thread was about that issue and the negative comments were also directed towards that group of people. I have a sister who is as skinny as a pencil and I hear her complain about the comments made to her about the fact she is to skinny. So I am very aware of the other side of the coin. I am very aware of people being judged for many things other than weight, skinny or fat. I work with children who have special needs and behavioral problems. Most will never fit into societies norm. I watch daily how children are treated differently because of who they are. I am upset that parents are not teaching their children to be compassionate and explain that we are all different in some way. It does not give anyone the right to berate any group and say nasty degrading comments.

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 224 (view)

Teased for liking bbw's Posted: 2/5/2008 1:41:40 AM
I have posted and have been following this thread. There is one thing I wanted to add..... I work with elementary school aged children. As I walk throught the halls of the school, it is very apparent, that the number of young girls and young boys are much bigger than when I was in school. The media and researchers tell us that the average size for American people is increasing. I am seeing that this is absolutely true. I am not saying it is not to go without concern for our childrens future health issues, but I am saying it is reality. As to the social aspect of this realization, I have yet to encounter hearing or seeing any of these childen being openly made fun of or made feel bad about there physical size. I am sure I do not hear everything that is probably said and I know it must exist, but I expected to hear a lot more open teasing and ridicule of the bigger children. Girls especially tend to be more aware of their physical image at this age. Do children have more sense and heart than adults? Are they not showing us the innocense of a childs heart? It amazes me that some or maybe even most adults are much more immature about the issue and stoop to name calling and are openly opinionated about those who do not fit into their idea of what is acceptable. What you think may be a funny comment, might be anothers heartache, especially when it is about how one may look physically. It is difficult to teach young children to respect others and not to be judgemental of those who do not fit societies norm, when the adults in this country are being such poor examples. When Mommy and Daddy are at home slamming certain groups of people due to their size, race, religion or whatever, this underminds their childs future of being a well rounded, accepting adult. When that child hears your opinions growing up and then cannot live up to your verbal expectations, you will have more problems with that child than just their weight! Not all, but some of the posters need to ask themselves....the odds are great that your child or grandchild may be over weight. How will you treat these children? How will you feel when this child is called names and are told they are ugly and disgusting because they are to fat to be loved? Do you want your child or anyone you love in your life told they are not lovable because of how they look? What will you say to that child when they come home from school and tell you they were called a hefer, chubbo, gross, tubby and so on. Do not tell me "your child" will not ever be that way because you will control it. I see MANY children who are over weight that have thin parents. We cannot always know what our children will look like or be as they grow up, no matter what we try to do to change it. My point is...life is not perfect. Most of us will never fit into the perfect form of societies standards in many ways, not just weight. What kind of example are you being to your children or to any young child when you throw out all the harsh, cruel words you do, when you find people to not fit your standards. Would you be happy with anyone making fun of your mother, sister or your own daughter if she was over weight? Do you want them to feel they are unlovable and worthless to look at? I can only imagine, that some of the men who love to bash over weight women harshly, would never stand by and allow a man bash their daughter, the way they bash some women. Do as I say and not as I do? Perferences are normal and fine, but do we have to verbally attack and ridicule those who do not fit into our standards of dating material. I have seen in life, that those who yell the loudest are usually hiding behind anothers short comings to hide their own. Self esteem and confidence has nothing to do with name calling or down grading another. It is actually the opposite. Those who show characteristics of verbal cruelty are usually dealing with their own demons inside of themselves. It may not be a weight issue, but I can assure you, it is something else. It helps them to forget their own insecurities and in their eyes, builds their own self esteem. As for me....yes, of course I have perferences, but I am not going to berate someone I would not find appealing to date or be with. My personal preferences are mine only and that does not mean those people I would not date have something wrong with them or they are not lovable. It is an individual decision and I do not have a need to down grade those who I am not attracted to. I have been rejected for my appearance. Thank God, most men have been very gracious as to why they reject me. I have to remember not to take it personally, as I also have rejected men. Sure it kind of hurts once in a while. I am the only one who can allow it to hurt and effect my self esteem. If the day ever came that I got pleasure out of bashing people for who they are....then I have failed only myself and my own character. Peace

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 121 (view)

Have you a crush on anyone? Posted: 2/4/2008 5:58:26 PM
Yes...I have a crush on someone and have had many in my life. The bad thing is, they never crushed me back....oh well! It's nice to dream anyway!

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 101 (view)

Gentlemen can be BORING! Posted: 2/3/2008 9:43:31 AM
I never had this problem...lol I am also a red head and much older. To me, he is just being 19 and probably trying to figure it all out. Hid inexperience is showing and his hormones are also showing. Not an excuse for him to be this way because he was not being a gentleman to ask if he could touch you all over on a first date. No man ever asked me if he could "do this or that", they just try it. If the man is coming on to strong, I simply tell him and he has backed off. I know there are creeps out there that take NO for an answer, but it has not been my experience...yet. Safety is always a concern and just not in internet dating. I do understand a mans concern of being accused of something not intended. I will admit, as a woman, I do like the man to take charge of the intial intimacy issue. I also wouldn't want to be a man because of it either. I have a 20 yr old son and I worry about him dating and how he is treating a woman or how he is preceived as such. I know I would not want a woman to accuse him wrongly or for him to pressure a woman into anything. It is just the age old human nature factor of courtship, dating, whatever you want to call it. I do like a man to be a gentleman, but there are many ways to show you are a gentleman other than when it comes to intimacy. No one can be the judge of others if one should or should not engage in intimacy on the first date. Every date is different and every dating partner is different. I, myself, have boundaries, but I also may be tempted to cross those boundaries also. I like to think of myself as human and not to rigid. I do as I please, with judging only myself and not caring what others think. Men who say they would not respect a woman if she "gave it up to soon"??? Ummm...if you were the one she gave it up to, then what does that make you? A little double standard BS...men can ,but a woman cannot. Ohhhh how self righteous are we now? Red...don't allow others to make you feel weird about your motives and yourself. People cannot "make" you feel anything. You feel the way you do all by yourself. You are young and will make mistakes, have tons of questions about this whole man / woman issue, just like everyone else in this world. It never truly gets easier, so don't sweat it, just go with what makes you happy and does not hurt others. When it is a pleasant experience, then be glad it was. Never regret a great, pleasurable time, if only for a day! Who knows about life tomorrow? Good Luck Red! Happy Fishing!

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 75 (view)

Laughing together Posted: 2/3/2008 5:42:27 AM
I desire laughter ,even in my everyday life. I grew up with laughter & to this day, I sit and laugh with my 82 yr old parents each time I visit them. My mother & I get on the phone and laugh each time we talk. Those "laughing" times with her, will be very good memories to look back upon. I have a dear friend who I chat with on the telephone, who laughs with me about our struggles in life. I feel much better when we hang up and everything seems not as bad as it truly is. So...any man in my life has always had a great sense of humor. It was part of my attraction to him. Laughter to me in a relationship or in even simple dating, is something I must have. There is a time and a place for laughter and my serious side needs as much validation as my humorous side. I dated a man who was a great laugher and jokster, but could not relate and refused to relate to my serious side. Therefore, the relationship was out of balance. He never wanted to deal with anything in life that required some sensitivity. Yes...bring on the laugher's...I simply love it! But...bring on all the other emotions that go with human nature and reality in life. I want my life to be upbeat and mostly humorous, but on those days I need some TLC and understanding, then I hope he can handle that as well, as I would for him.

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Slow dancing and that special reaction Posted: 2/2/2008 4:52:15 PM
Hmmm...and here all this time I thought it was his bulging wallet! No..it would not impress me.

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 37 (view)

What are we angry about? Posted: 2/2/2008 12:05:24 AM
Awwwww Geezzzz AgelessWonder....I had a bad week! I do ramble sometimes!...lol

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 185 (view)

Teased for liking bbw's Posted: 2/1/2008 11:56:59 PM
Dawn...it isn't any different. My post was meant for all groups who are bashed. You are absolutely right. The OP was talking about larger women, so it was what I responded to, but the concept is for anyone and everyone who is categorized into an undesirable "group". Hey...I am no one to judge anyone! I can only judge myself and I am my worst critic.

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 56 (view)

Suspicions Posted: 2/1/2008 10:20:03 PM
I was suspicious of a man I was talking to on IM. He contacted me through another dating site. I knew in my gut he was a scammer. I asked for his first and last name...stupid guy gave it to me. Anyway...I went to whitepages.com and looked him up. There he was!...address and telephone number! I called the number and a man answered. The man that answered had his idenity stolen 2 years prior and my gut instincts were right on. This man even had the real guys Pa License # as proof he was not a scammer...yeah right! Get his full name, hopefully he gives it to you and look him up in the white pages. Then you will know his home address and his phone number. Either check out his house with a drive by or call him unexpectedly. You may not like what you see or hear, but it could end your suspicions. Your gut instincts are usually right...sorry OP...hope all works out for you!

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 182 (view)

Teased for liking bbw's Posted: 2/1/2008 9:32:48 PM
Hey Whisper....I sure could use a deep massage! And...you got it where it counts...in the heart of your hands

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 180 (view)

Teased for liking bbw's Posted: 2/1/2008 8:36:48 PM
When will it ever end on these forums to stop calling people names because they do not fit your idea of acceptable. The OP put a positive spin on women who are larger than what "society" considers the norm. Then we get to hear all the name calling in a passive ,but obviously down grading manner. Does it make you feel better about yourself to be so harsh and cruel? Wow...what does that say about you? Those who say nasty things about a group of people have issues themselves...it's so obvious and shows ones character. The only one that feels good about it is the one who said it and it is an excuse within yourself to over look your own insecurities. People say these things out of fear and weakness. It's one thing to say you are not attracted to a certain type of body or look. To use adjectives that go as far as being cruel and making fun of someone is another. I'd never be so immature and nasty to say it even if it was in my thoughts! Preferences are fine...I have them too, but to name call is not what I call a good character trait. You may think someone is not attractive because of how they look?...well, what comes out of ones mouth in words can be very unattractive. Get over yourself... I work in an elementary school and even the young kids are more empathetic and accepting than some of the adults on these forums. Geez...this is sad....no wonder our poor kids have such low self esteem.

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

What Would You Do?! Posted: 2/1/2008 3:53:18 PM
You could be pressuring a bit to much, but hey...I never wait for someone like that. Either he will find some time, even a minute to say hello-I miss you or I assume he is just not all that interested in me. Life is to short and precious....for me, I move on and if he comes back, then i'd go from there. Chances are, in my experience, it's a cowrdly way of telling me he has already moved on.

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

What are we angry about? Posted: 2/1/2008 6:45:53 AM
My Anger has mellowed through the years. The little things really do not make me angry anymore. I can't even remember that last time I had nasty words with someone. Of course, I still get quite irritated with some things. I just hate wasting my time on being irritated or angry. I have irritations, but truly try to dismiss them or dwell on them.... People who are ....Rude, Self Righteous,****, Whiny, Arrogant, Full of themselves, Take advantage of others, Control Freaks, Religious Freaks who have to prove it, Judge others who do not fit into their way of thinking or their life style, Those who down grade and judge people because of how they look on the outside only, Blames their discomfort in life on everyone but themselves. People who are....Entitled that we who work should take care of them, Never try to be productive, Make excuses to be non productive, Abusers of anyone...especially children, People who have power who use it to abuse others without a good cause, People who do not visit or contact their parents in a nursing home, People who are stingy or greedy. People who...Allow their children to be the boss, Mothers or Fathers who do not show love to their children, People who can't smile , laugh or say hello, People who are not grateful to live in this country, The phrase " I can't", Those that constantly live in their past. In regards to dating...A person who will not take the chance, A person who makes to many excuses like work-distance-kids-shy-their past experiences (get over it already), Those who lie about their status, People who will not post a picture, One line profiles, Those who contact you in interest but never reply back again, Disppearing Acts, Only want to chat about Sex, Never have intentions of meeting you but keeps you hanging (I'm movin on!), Afraid of comittment, Disrespect of the other gender, My Way or the Highway attitude....just to mention a few...lol Whistling really drives me crazy! Dirty people who could buy a bar of soap but choose not to, Camo wearing when not hunting, poor table manners, high top sneakers, To tight of jeans, wearing clothes that show to much skin on people who shouldn't, showing your A$$ cleavage in public, Parents screaming at their kids in public, People who do not hold doors, People who do not have the vocabulary of "Thank you", People who brag. I thinks that's enough for now...

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 59 (view)

So he wants your phone number.... Posted: 1/31/2008 8:24:14 PM
I am a believer in talking on the phone quite early, if there is a serious interest. I have to have a gut feeling first and trust my instincts. I have got to know someone quickly by talking to them, hearing their voice and the intonations while talking. I have not had any problems with telephone stalkers ever. May be I am lucky, but for me, it just has been more to my benefit than not. I never agree to a first meet without a telephone conversation. The conversation helps me decide if I truly want to meet this person. I like getting the email and IM chatting out of the way and talk on the phone. I gain more trust this way and feel more comfortable. You do what is comfortable for you. I do see red flags when they refuse to give me their number, but again, that has been rare. I know women who have been out and men approached them, talked and they gave the woman their number. At the end of the night, the women went home, not realizing, that the man followed her home to see where she lived. Some people, for at home work purposes, have programs that can tell when you come on the internet and what ISP you are using. It is way to easy to know to much about a person with todays technology. There is no true safe way around it. Thank God, my way of going about it has not come back to haunt me....yet!

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 155 (view)

Have you ever waited for a love? Posted: 1/26/2008 7:19:57 PM
I had to jump in here again, as I thought about writing this before, but didn't.... I was dating a man who I was waiting to change his mind about being more comitted to me with a possible marriage. He was honest with me that it would not happen, but I was insistant in my heart he would change his mind, since he said he loved me. He traveled every weekend for 2 years to see me. I had such hopes. Well...it never happened and that was my fault for waiting and fooling myself. It ended at my request because I could not take the heartache anymore. It wasn't his fault....I made the choice, so now I live with the hurt in my heart. A friend of mine has been having an affair with a man for the last 3 years. They have worked together for 8 years and always had a "thing" for one another. Finally, it turned into a serious affair and he said he would leave his wife to be with her. I found out about this from her over a year ago and he was "getting ready" to leave his wife then. Everytime he gives my friend a date he is going to end his marriage, something comes up in his family and he has to put it on hold. And...not to mention his last affair he had with another woman had left him because he would not end his marriage. My friend knew about this too! He is afraid he will lose everything in the divorce and he is a rather well off man and a CEO of a large company. My friend is his assistant administrator. This even adds to the danger of her hurt. This man was to leave his wife around Thanksgiving, but a family crisis came up for him. She last told me, he was leaving his wife the first week of January after he comes home from a trip. My friend consistently tells me " if he doesn't leave her it's over!" and my friend just keeps hanging in there time and time again! My friend is such a sweet person and has sacrificed so much for this man. I fear he is going to leave her absolutely heart broken! My friend knows and has known the risk and just will not end it. I have not heard yet if he finally did it, but I am betting he has not! Just a note on this story....this man is 64 yrs old and she is a very young hot looking 51 yr old, who had a boob job and is very thin and cute. The last women he had an affair with was also younger and pretty.This mans wife is 64 also and he says she is sexually frigid and they never talk. Ummm...What's wrong with this picture?

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 146 (view)

Have you ever waited for a love? Posted: 1/26/2008 3:02:54 PM
NO...I would not wait a long time. I'd give him a respectful time period, but no, not a long time. I Waited, seen friends wait and it always never worked out. Timing is crucial in meeting someone. I move on...is as simple as that. If the timing is off, everything else will be too. It's not all about the warm fuzzies...there is a lot more to it than that. You sacrificing is only feeding into his prograstination. Why change a thing on his part, if you are there as a back up. Seen it many many times. The one waiting usually waits and waits and waits until it becomes a way of life. Nope! Wouldn't do it for a lame excuse. Military men, a sickness or reasons not being their fault would be a factor to hold on. To be waiting for him for any other reason is a waste of my time and heartache.

zeanah59

Joined: 9/25/2007

Msg: 59 (view)

what does a guy mean when he says you deserve better? Posted: 1/26/2008 2:54:51 PM
I think it means "I want out and this is the nice way to do it!" ...but in all reality...you probably do deserve better. Why be with a man who does not want you...you DO deserve better than that!

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