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YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 166 (view)

Women only seeking Christian men Posted: 8/11/2009 12:50:04 PM
There is nothing more annoying than prejudice against a person's preferences...whatever they may be!!! What does it matter to you if someone wants a Christian mate? Or someone tall or with green eyes or is athletic as many, many people prefer? Oh, because it seems alright in this day and age to bash Christianity. You want to be shallow and only have "people who take care of themselves and are physically attractive", go right ahead. You want a believer in The 10 Commandments...well, who do you think you are?

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Do women not like to be dominant?? Posted: 7/7/2009 7:48:02 AM
OP, we grow up with romantic visions of being pursued. For me, the traditional idea of male dominance feels comfortable and good. I bet there are some women who want to be the pursuer. You just need to wait until they find you...welcome to the female's world!

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 450 (view)

Should she have paid for her share of meal ? Posted: 7/6/2009 8:07:41 AM
This topic is obviously a touchy one. To be truthful, I think it is important topic, too. I personally feel insulted if a guy expects me to pay half, but I will always, always sincerely offer and be ready to part with money. Doesn't mean that I like it, but if he can take it, I will give it up. However, it is the least romantic feeling in the world. Really, I am not worth "wining and dining"? It is very devaluing and heck yeah, there is a double standard! This is dating, not equal opportunity employment. I want romance!! I want to be woo-ed! But I'm an old fashioned girl all the way.

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 60 (view)

Does this make me racist? Posted: 6/24/2009 12:31:22 PM
Well, I guess OP, how would you feel if the roles were reversed? What if he was "weirded out" by going out with you, a white woman and trying to remember that you are still a person and acts the same way an Indian woman would? I would feel bad, sad, insulted, and devalued. Furthermore, I would feel like a sociological experiment, too, like someone else said. I would be curious about his motivations. Do you understand the reactions? I personally think it is okay to dialogue on race even though it is a taboo subject. I think it is honorable that you are examining your own prejudices, but be prepared for others' feelings. You were asking for a judgment, racist or not, so expect to get it. You don't have to agree with anyone here. But you asked for a reason so use the responses to help figure out the question for yourself.

Yearofthecat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 126 (view)

Should relationships take some effort or should they be effortless Posted: 3/16/2009 10:41:19 AM
Definitely takes effort. I think anyone who values relationships understands that. Even friendships and family relationships require effort.

Yearofthecat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

Love really sucks and here's why... Posted: 3/10/2009 12:30:49 PM
Love does suck my friend, but it is also the very best. Everyone has something like your #1-too tall, too short, too smart, not smart enough, not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not young enough #2 often feels true when you open your eyes to the world of people out there. #3 is somewhat right at your age, but not completely. There are girls who are over (or never had!) a bad boy disorder. #4 it wouldn't be fun. The girl's position is more safe, but a pain because imagine if you had to sit around waiting for the right person to come to you then being so afraid to show any interest? It's no picnic either. But I hear your pain. Love does suck. Dating sucks more!

Yearofthecat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 116 (view)

Horror movies, which are the best, ones from the 80's or modern ones? Posted: 3/10/2009 12:05:49 PM
I would go with the 70s. The stuff they showed as the Saturday afternoon movie on TV is better than lots of what is out there today. Dark Night of the Scarecrow, anyone? Crowhaven Farm?

Yearofthecat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Age/Maturity Level Posted: 3/10/2009 8:00:32 AM
Wait until she's 18 at least. Otherwise you are opening up to a very serious charge called statutory rape.

Yearofthecat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Was I too demanding? Posted: 3/10/2009 7:53:20 AM
I liked reading your story...moved quickly and you used paragraphs, which, not to be snippy, but eludes some people on this site. I don't understand this part: when the cops raided the house she was having a bbw in. What is a bbw in this context? The issue here is you like an addict. You know that no one can help them unless they want to help themselves, right? It isn't just an adage. There's no reason to second guess your behavior. The hard part is going to be moving on since you've become emotionally invested. You know you have to do that, right? Otherwise, this issue will come up again and again until SHE is ready to change.

Yearofthecat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Dating Paradox Posted: 3/9/2009 12:42:18 PM
YES! I think it is some sort of reflex. All the ex-boyfriends start crawling out of the woodwork, too, magically, when you start seeing someone new.

Yearofthecat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Close girl friends think im gay. Posted: 3/9/2009 12:35:49 PM
Toby-don't sweat it. Girls at that age...well if they are all friends, they could be following each other's leads and goofing with you. Maybe it is just fun teasing to them, though it isn't fun for you. Like other posters said, you are young so don't worry about the virgin/no gf thing either. If you are uncertain about whether you are attracted to men or women, by all means explore that. But not ever having a girlfriend at 19 doesn't make you gay. Nor does your girlfriends asking that question again and again. Nor do any traits, i.e. stereotypically feminine traits like sensitivity or good grooming. Being attracted to men does though, so it would be something to figure out if you think that might apply to you.

Yearofthecat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 252 (view)

Would you actually date a Liberal/Progressive? Posted: 3/6/2009 1:59:11 PM
I love it when the conservatives come out and shine! Lots of times they are the quiet ones...the v0cal activist label tends to go to the liberals. I would, OP. I like to have my views challenged. I'm open minded and I intend to keep it that way. I am never going to hate someone because they feel illegal immigrants should get drivers' licenses. I can understand the other side of the issues, but I am suspect of them, too. I like to spar with someone over this kind of stuff, particularly if they can acknowledge my points without becoming enraged.

Yearofthecat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 187 (view)

Americans Are Spoiled: A Depression will do us good! Posted: 3/6/2009 8:58:16 AM
Hey smarty pants OP, Did you ever think that the very rich will do just fine through a Depression while the working and middle classes will not? I'm sorry, but a Depression is a horrible thing to wish on people. Do you even know how many people are losing their jobs right now? Imagine how it feels to them to read this post.

Yearofthecat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 41 (view)

Advice please people... Posted: 3/6/2009 7:51:50 AM
What kind of FWB is this? Let me clue you in, you like this guy. You gotta admit that to yourself. Forget about her. You need to then get real with this guy. Right now you are in denial and playing games.

Yearofthecat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

feelings for your best friend's ex..... Posted: 3/6/2009 7:46:37 AM
Bad territory. Jesse's Girl! Approach your buddy first if you must do this.

Yearofthecat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 64 (view)

dateing an older woman. Posted: 3/6/2009 7:43:28 AM
I'm sure she will be flattered, minimally. Though not your goal, right? Flirt, then ask. See what happens...why not?

Yearofthecat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 144 (view)

You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really? Posted: 3/5/2009 7:37:29 AM
I can believe it. These forums can be addicting.

Yearofthecat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 58 (view)

What do you bring to the table!! Posted: 3/5/2009 7:34:16 AM
I'm stable but not boring. That's a good combination that can be hard to find!

Yearofthecat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Has anyone broken up from a narcissist Posted: 2/20/2009 7:00:53 AM
I feel for you. I've only worked for one, never dated any. But let me just tell you, I get how they are. It is sick and very manipulative and probably the definition of head games. All you can do is be thankful that you are getting away! It will be hard, but if you let her, she will take another 25 years from you.

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 346 (view)

Let the games begin 2008 - 2009 NFL Football Posted: 10/6/2008 9:25:39 PM
Due to the serious lack of College Football topics, I will add my NFL opinion: Go Kerry Collins! Gotta love a career revival.

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

What make your college football team mystic or mythical Posted: 10/6/2008 9:10:57 PM
Definitely JoePa. Also, The Greatest Show in College Football, baby!

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

most unusual/funny revelation/discovery of the deal-breaker... Posted: 10/6/2008 8:53:09 PM
Ok, not a topper, but definitely a deal-breaker moment- I met him online when I was living in a big city and he happened to be a block away. I thought it was fateful. We had a coffee shop date that went excellent. He was tall, really good looking, great hair, and smart and opinionated and we had a good chemistry. The date lasted four hours! So I decided to invite him to one of my work events, which was pretty laid back, just a big party open to the public. First, he wasn't where he said he would be when I went to pick him up. Second, this wasn't NYC so not having a car was suspect. Then when we got there and he met people I saw my co-workers and friends doing a nod and move on, repeatedly, looking uncomfortable. Then I found out why, he was being so loud and arrogant. So we grabbed a seat and he proceeded to say, "These people love you. That'll change. You're just the new girl in town. They'll move onto the new thing next month." I was like, "What the hell are you talking about?" And from there it was just small jabs left and right covered up with, "Stop being so sensitive. That's not what I mean." I was already in move on mode when he capped it off. It was loud in the room so I leaned in to hear what other backhanded insults he had and he put his hand on the other side of my head and held it there very firmly. I'm talking like I tried to edge away and it was a firm grasp holding my head in place so my ear was glued to him. I couldn't move. Yikes! 1-2-3 see ya!

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 179 (view)

Real Dolls - Documentary and thoughts Posted: 10/6/2008 7:49:20 PM
"Love Object"-freaky movie (fictional) on this subject. If my life came to that, I think I would need to be put to sleep. They gotta know that they have completely lost connection with the human race.

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

if someone asks you to meet in a very secluded place... Posted: 9/12/2008 11:19:33 PM
I think you always need to use common sense and make a first date very public. You are 19...............................be even more careful! Seriously, insist on meeting in public places until you are definitely, without a doubt, comfortable.

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

when is the best time to kiss a girl on the first date Posted: 8/25/2008 7:04:37 PM
When she's not expecting it.

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

Would you date a transplant surgeon Posted: 8/25/2008 7:03:46 PM
The kind of doctor I would date is rare, those good bedside manner types that have kind of fallen to the wayside in contemporary life. However, you sound like you have a self-fulfilling prophecy on your hands. If you believe it can't happen, it won't. Many doctors do have marriages that are the pillars of their lives, what keeps them sane in their busy world. Right now, while you are so young, of course, your focus is on your schooling and future career. But there will be a light at the end of the tunnel where a relationship, even a marriage, could exist.

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 53 (view)

do I have baggage? Posted: 8/25/2008 6:49:10 PM
A year and a half MUST be long enough. You are preventing yourself from truly moving on at this point by rethinking the old situation. You need to focus on dating. It isn't baggage unless you insist on making it that by bringing it into a new relationship in a big way. Of course, you're going to let a new person know where you've been, but be careful about living in the past.

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Getting over relationships after a bad breakup Posted: 8/25/2008 6:41:19 PM
Only time gets you over it. When you are ready, date again. You might still find yourself not ready, but you will be more ready the next time you try. However, if the "screwing you" part is breaking up before your anniversary then wanting to get back together, not a bigger reason, maybe you can pursue it. If you think the old problems are resolvable, that is.

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Found my guy on Hot or Not - not good Posted: 8/20/2008 7:09:04 PM
Hey Julie- It sucks doesn't it? Broken hearts never get any easier to go through. I looked at your profile and you've got alot of good things going for you. Mourn the relationship and then move on. Don't blame yourself. You can only control your own behavior. You know there is someone else out there for you. Someone even better.

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

Concerning the fabled topic of confidence... Posted: 8/20/2008 6:58:27 PM
Oh wait, you are defining anti-confidence as unstable or emotionally revealing. And you're 21. To start, that whole myth about men being more immature...not necessarily. I think women take awhile to grow emotionally and become more "stable". Maybe that's what you refer to. Being emotionally open is confident, however.

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Concerning the fabled topic of confidence... Posted: 8/20/2008 6:53:14 PM
I prefer a beautiful blend of modesty and confidence. However, I define confidence based on modesty. The most confident people are always the most humble. As far as women not having the trait they want, I don't see it. I wonder how you are defining confidence.

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 36 (view)

Is she bi/lesbian? Posted: 8/18/2008 8:04:51 PM
What does that make me?

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEASON Posted: 8/16/2008 11:03:14 PM
WE ARE...PENN STATE! Looking forward to a great year. I'm traveling to Wisconsin for the first time ever to see the Nittany Lions play the Badgers.

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

College Football 2008 Predictions Posted: 8/16/2008 10:57:13 PM
That's right-Penn State finally gets their day with Michigan...in Happy Valley...I can't wait!!!

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Worst Sports Fans in America Posted: 8/16/2008 10:54:24 PM
I second or third Eagles fans. You know they used to have a court to process out of control fans IN THE STADIUM!!!!!!!!!!!

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

How to answer the Posted: 8/16/2008 10:37:58 PM
Well don't take the "Why?" to necessarily mean something negative. It's a reasonable question and the only answer is the one you have. I mean, I wouldn't formulate some answer. If you feel close enough to the person to share your reason, do it. We all have unusual things about our history, that make us interesting to some people and not others. If I was dating someone like you, I would want the real answer, not what sounds good, you know.

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

How to answer the Posted: 8/16/2008 8:21:01 PM
What I hear you saying is that you want to get it out there that you haven't had a girlfriend. You probably want to say to a person you just met and found attractive that you don't have a girlfriend and leave it at that. Though it's at the forefront of your mind that you've never had gf, she won't know. Then you wait until your dating gets a little more intimate and she brings up her dating history to talk about your own. You can get as honest as you feel because in the end, the person you can really reveal yourself to is the person you want. If a girl is turned off or not understanding about your relationship history, or lack thereof, you've just weeded her out.

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

am i wrong to think this Posted: 8/16/2008 8:08:02 PM
Doesn't sound like she is for you. There is a guy in this world that will find her endlessly intriguing in her shyness. I think it would be going that way for you if you really, really liked her, if you know what I mean.

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

dont pick up the phone Posted: 8/16/2008 8:03:07 PM
Nah. Maybe it's because you guys talk so long that, you know, she needs to be settled to pick up and devote the time to you. I'm totally weird with the phone because we live in an age where everyone is on the phone too much for my liking. It's okay for you to not pick up, too, once in awhile.

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 56 (view)

What is your opinion on guys wearing sandals? Posted: 8/16/2008 7:49:55 PM
I really hate that. It's not the end of the world or some kind of Seinfeld deal breaker, but something about it turns me off. But I don't wear flip-flops and I am kind of particular about shoes in general.

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 107 (view)

Strangest Compliment Posted: 7/9/2008 9:46:41 PM
Not a date, but on an interview, a guy told me I have the most expressive face. And that he could tell exactly what I was thinking moment to moment. I didn't get the job.

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 86 (view)

Ph.d boasting Posted: 7/9/2008 9:37:48 PM
I live in a college town and do not have a Ph.D. but know many who do. Frankly, as a whole I find this group to be the least snooty and much more prone to modesty. I don't see any reason not to indicate advanced education. If the person wants the same, that's their prerogative. I wouldn't take offense to it or generalize.

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 65 (view)

Uncommonly Sexy Professions Posted: 7/9/2008 9:19:35 PM
Artists and musicians. Oh dear god, help me. Doctors with good bedside manner, no pun intended. There is a big difference between the cold doc and the charming one. Professors. I always thought a psychologist or psychiatrist would make for a really interesting relationship and maybe quite sexy. But I've never met a single one.

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

The linebacker formation in bars Posted: 7/9/2008 8:58:05 PM
Big groups, no way. Girls can be really rude in the linebacker configuration. It's been a few years, but I still remember how that goes. Even if the girl may be interested, it's typically too awkward to get that going and more expected (at least when you're younger) to subtly blow off the Random Stranger. Older women are more mature...usually. Now, a group of guys approaching another group of guys tends to be a divide and conquer. That's a better bet. Or if it is a small group of girls, like 2 or 3. They may be happy for the diversion, but you have to divide your attention for awhile until you are "accepted". Then you can get the girl you are interested in talking and hopefully flirting. I have to disagree with the average will attract hot theory. Despite their reputation, women don't want the drama of stealing a guy away from one of her friends. Not a Random Stranger in a Bar guy.

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

What attract you girls to guys most?! Posted: 7/9/2008 8:45:18 PM
I like a charmer. Not an empty charmer, i.e. a player. But I always go for the guy who is smiley and friendly to everyone, sociable, everyone, guys and girls love him. This kind of person is confident, but what you notice most is his modesty. He doesn't have to beat you over the head with his accomplishments. You find out soon enough with a little prodding.

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Overnight Change Posted: 7/9/2008 8:37:48 PM
It sounds like she was missing you and maybe reconsidering the relationship. Then, after hanging out again and the little tiff, she decided the issues were still the same. Just taking a guess. Why assume another guy? It was a pretty quick decision-"about an hour later."

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

A profile review would be nice :) Posted: 7/9/2008 8:16:17 PM
I thought your profile was good, especially for your purposes as you stated. If anything, you should just keep going on a bit more about yourself.

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 65 (view)

Would you continue dating a man who always talks about himself? Posted: 7/3/2008 6:28:44 PM
Oh dear God no. I need interest in my life, genuine interest. I'm happy to return it.

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 143 (view)

So you think universal health care is good for America huh? Posted: 6/30/2008 9:09:28 PM
I was looking for my 1 billion spent in the US by Canadians on healthcare source, but found something more interesting instead: http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/the_rich_and_famous_guide_to_c/ Reading on pof, you would think everyone's madly in love with the Canadian system. This blogger points out how a leader in Canadian healthcare Belinda Stronach went to California for surgery on the advice of her CANADIAN DOCTOR!!! And what does it say when a business called Timely Medical Alternatives exists to get Canadians private healthcare in the US? C'mmon, now people. How American of us to break the fine china. Our system isn't perfect but don't believe the hype that we can give it to the government, spend less, and still retain the highest quality care that we obviously do not appreciate today.

YearoftheCat

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 118 (view)

So you think universal health care is good for America huh? Posted: 6/27/2008 11:07:55 PM
I don't claim to have any answers to current day healthcare problems. Just remember, the last solution was HMOs and look where we are. I advocate going back to the pre-HMO system, which did cost more money out of pocket to consumers. It was also a doctor controlled system. Read up on any given country that has national health care. You'll see that there are a whole new set of problems, such as the Brits stopped providing bypass surgery to smokers because the wait list is so long. Guess who needs bypass the most? Germany has tax issues in relation to supporting their healthcare system. And that wonderful Canadian system? Canadians spend 1 billion dollars a year in the US for healthcare. Why, if their system is so much better?

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