Is this controling , jealous behaviour?? chat & forums.

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meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Is this controling , jealous behaviour?? Posted: 11/4/2008 4:51:44 PM
Nothing wrong with having platonic friends of the opposite sex. The concern would come if he never let me meet them or if he spent an inordinate amount of time emailing/iming/textng them when he's with me and hanging out with them without me. Does he have lots of new guy friends too? Guess it really depends on how much you trust him. Tell him your concerns in a non-judgemental way. See how he reacts. Extreme defensivess and a refusal to let you meet them means you could have a problem.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 32 (view)

She said she dosen't need men for sex, because she has her toys Posted: 11/2/2008 1:18:32 PM
Geez -poor thing, if she's THAT into her toys she's one messed up woman to be saying so on a first date. Even if it was just to try and bait you into saying "but you aint ever had me, sugar". Is it worth persuing? Only if you like this kind of weridness.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 57 (view)

Would you never have a relationship with one who has messaged others for sex or intimate encounters? Posted: 11/2/2008 12:27:36 PM
well I have it on my restrictions list because I just didn't want a lot of men who were looking for just that wasting their time (or mine) trying to talk me into it. Would I discount somebody because they have had a one night stand in their past? No of course not...but on dating sites a LOT of people are looking for only FWB's, one night stands, and sex with strangers. That's just not my style.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

Just friends? Posted: 11/2/2008 12:23:49 PM
I have a lot of male platonic friends and I also have exes that I'm still friends with. With the exes, it took some time away from them, but in the end we became friends and moved on to other romances. One guy who I was with for 3 years and almost married, is now one of my dearest, oldest friends. Our time dating was over 10 years ago and to this day we still talk on the phone regularly and hang out once in awhile. His girlfriend knows me, there's no sneaky stuff and there's never been any "sex with the ex". It's all good.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 70 (view)

What's your Halloween costume this year? Posted: 10/27/2008 7:14:39 PM
Hey PiscesCoda - If you are still looking for a way to do the Magenta hair, I can't help you with the color, but my have a few tips on how to get it full and frizzy. Email me if you are interested!

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 956 (view)

People who just write how are you Posted: 10/26/2008 1:47:10 PM
I just came back to this thread - wow...so many pages on this subject! Here's what I do - I always answer, even if it's just a "hi". I have learned, and especially from reading this thread, that there are a lot of guys who either really don't know how to start off a conversation or just get a lot of read/deletes no matter WHAT they do so it's short messages for them. So they deserve to be acknowledged. Now...when I answer an email that looks like it was cut/pasted from their profile, is very short (just a "hi"), or doesn't mention anything specific about my profile (so it could be a "spam" sent out to a bunch of girls who pics he liked)...... I say hi back and mention something positive about their profile and ask them to tell me what is was about my profile that attracted them? A couple of things happen at this point: 1) If they really are interested, they answer the question and we chat. They then find out I'm not dating (because they look at the profile again or I tell them) and we either remain friendly or it ends. 2) I just never hear from them again because they went and read the profile and see I'm not dating.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Haunted Experiences Posted: 10/25/2008 8:42:41 AM
I've had a couple of experiences I would consider haunting. My mom passed away in 2004. My Dad and I were with her when she passed. My sister and brother were both on the way (they live further away) but didn't make it in time. My brother was driving alone and at about the same time she passed, he swears he had a conversation with her. He didn't know yet that she had died. She told him she was going to stay with him to make sure he got to us safely. For about a month or so afterwards things were happening that made us all think she was hanging around for a bit. My TV would come on by itself, which it had never done before and hasn't done since. A wall heater also would just come on in the middle of the day when it wasn't cold and it was switched to "off". One time I even said "I'm not cold Mom, please turn it off" - and it turned off. I've also had other odd experiences not related to my mother and I guess all of them could be explained away, but I do believe in this stuff and I really do think Mom was making a point of letting us know she wasn't just "gone".

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 44 (view)

A little POF tale Posted: 10/24/2008 7:53:58 PM
Kudos to your friend for being a gentleman and not running scared. On a first date situation I'd be a little unnerved if the man was signifigantly different from what I expectd and probably a little irked that he didn't tell me. Although he has no obligation to, it helps lessen the shock factor. I'm not a little perosn, but I am short and I always made sure men knew that when i was dating just in case they didn't read the profile carefully and were expecting an average height woman. We all assume, unless we're told differently, that the person we are going to meet will be within our perception of what the "average" person is. We hope for our ideal dreamboat of course and if we don't get that, it's ok..but we don't expect to see too far outside of the "norm" either. Having said that, a first date is also not a marriage commitment. I'd go through with the date just like I would with anyone. It might not result in a second date, but then again it might! You never know.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

WTF moments... Posted: 10/23/2008 7:24:56 PM
haha readyforsome spice - being a cancer survivor also I agree with what you say. Except for the poop in Safeway. Yeah --that would still be a HUGE WTF moment for me ! I think Ralleac wins.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Alright, so check this breakup story. Posted: 10/22/2008 7:42:36 PM
Dude Seriously..... That is some major drama. You hung in there longer than most would have. Taek a deep breath and be glad she is OUT.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

Home Remedies And Tips For Cold/Flu Sufferers Posted: 10/21/2008 8:13:56 PM
Airborne is great -I swear by it. It works wonders if you take it right as the symptoms are starting. It's a vitamin "bomb" and helps to boost your immune system and knock the cold out. Lots of Zinc in it. It doesn't work as well if you already have full-blown symptoms. Just yesterday I went home early from work due to a sore throat, chills and that "out of it" feeling you get when coming down with something. Others in the office have been sick (Uh Oh). I drank a cup of Airborne before leaving then when I got home i drank water and took it easy the rest of the day. Went to sleep early. I did have a slight fever yesterday, but today I'm back to almost normal with just a tiny bit of a cough. No more fever, no more sore throat. Let's hope it stays that way. Fluids...sleep....Airborne. And chicken soup! Gargling with warm salt water helps a sore throat too.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 36 (view)

long distance love, can you make sense of this one Posted: 10/19/2008 11:52:42 AM
Tbear, My personal opinons aside... Whether she is a scammer, a mental case, emotionally/physically abused in life, `multiple personality, or in in denial as you think...doesn't really matter. Whatever the "reasons" are, the bottom line is that she is gone, back to her country and is rejecting your attempts at reconciliation a whole year later. you need to let this go and consider it over.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

What next? Move on or hang in there? Posted: 10/18/2008 4:17:57 PM
To me it wouldn't matter what the reasons were. If I wanted a commitment that involved living together and marriage and he didn't, it wouldn't be a match. Hard as that would be to accept, it is what it is. He has stated his place. Now you decide if you can stand to keep it like it is or not. If not, move on. Hopefully you won't do what a lot of women do, which is stick around hoping he'll change his mind. He won't.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 48 (view)

UFO Oct 14th 2008 visible for 3days Posted: 10/18/2008 10:24:13 AM
Darnit - and I spent all night in the pumpkin patch waiiting for Dr Who to come by and make me his next space companion.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 35 (view)

Stood up. Again. Posted: 10/18/2008 9:59:52 AM
Yup it's happened to me. I actually met some very nice people once at a resturant bar I was stood up in and ended up having a nice evening anyway. When I was dating I had a rule about it. If it happened once and I later got a call or email with an apology, a rational excuse, and a request for another date I'd give the benefit of the doubt. I mean sometimes things DO happen that can prevent someone from making it there and not every guy is a lying game player. however if it happened again?? They were done.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

do I need to let this guy know that I’m dating other people now? Posted: 10/18/2008 9:42:13 AM
You haven't even met yet, so there's nothing even close to exclusivity and you are both free to date/talk to/IM whoever and however many you want. However, since it was brought up in conversation already and you said no, you should let him know that the status has changed. It's no big deal and it shows you are upfront and honest.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 66 (view)

Should a woman call a guy the day after they have sex? Posted: 10/12/2008 7:26:56 PM
OP, find out if he's willing to stay all night so that the two of you can get up and cook breakfast TOGETHER....not one making it for the other. Bake cookies together in the late morning and feed each other as they come out of the oven....then, go grocery shopping together in the afternoon and have the butcher cut a couple steaks rather than picking a couple out of the case.....go down the ice cream aisle together for dessert later....then, no phone calls needed the next day. Smokin! now that's what I'd call a good weekend! OP - go ahead and call, what have ya got to lose?

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

A big waste of time Posted: 10/12/2008 1:24:18 PM
OK...buh-BYE! Yep that was very negative, but it made me laugh hysterically.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

After one date...should you go online? Posted: 10/12/2008 12:29:32 PM
Creeeeepy Run away!! Did he really delete his profile? Or did he just say that before you could say what are YOU doing on POF?

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

First date-then no contact from them Posted: 10/12/2008 12:22:39 PM
Happens all the time -that's what dating is. Give him a few days. If you get nothing send a nice email just to say hi how ya doing? If you get no repsonse, move on.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

Instant dates instead of getting phone numbers. Posted: 10/12/2008 11:55:28 AM
I think it's a great idea as long as you don't discount the gal if she says no because of other obligations. Because of my work schedule, I tend to lump my errands and appointments into small windows of time and may not have the opportunity to go have coffee right then...but if I liked the conversation we'd been having and was attracted, I'd definitely call if he gave me his number. I aslo agree with another poster who said sometimes we just don't want to be approached, but when that happens, just pass her by and move on! Her loss!

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

Is it just me? Posted: 10/12/2008 11:45:35 AM
Hi Erin, One thing stood out for me in your post: But as I dig even deeper and if he seems not only smart but sober and affectionate too (etc) ...Then I find out he detaches with crippling fear one hour into every date .. Not sure how literally you meant this, but it may mean you are coming across as very intense once you find someone who fits your wants (sober, affectionate). Maybe you are scaring them without realizing it?? And I agree that it's ok to not settle and to know what things are dealbreakers - like alcohol, drugs, smoking, etc. best of luck!

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 50 (view)

My Ex Tells me in explicit detail abpout new men,WHY?? Posted: 10/9/2008 7:13:02 PM
Youre' dating the wrong gals Ron9 -- That's insane! Those ladies were no ladies. And OP...Yeah, she was hurt so she's trying to show you she's moved on and she's desirable and she's gonna rub your nose in it. Totally immature.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

date turns sexual then fwb now bf/gf maybe? Posted: 10/5/2008 2:34:30 PM
To Dave and Thunderstorm: Yep -Texting is a surefire way people use to get out of actually TALKING to each other, no doubt about it. But....once you're in a relationship and things are going good and you communicate well in other ways, a bit of naughty texting can be very fun once in awhile! To the OP: Actions speak louder than words. He may have said "ILU", but his actions aren't showing it. Talk to him. Face to face.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Advice Posted: 10/5/2008 1:39:04 PM
Jojo, I guess it depends on what you mean by telling people your feelings. If you are just starting to date someone and you have a huge feeling of infatuation/crush on her, telling that too soon can scare her away, definitely. Not saying you're doing that, since you didn't say, but that's one scenario where telling your feelings can scare someone.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

What's your Halloween costume this year? Posted: 10/5/2008 1:01:22 PM
I have to wonder, How short is too short for a Catholic school girl's skirt? It depends on the kind of Catholic Schoolgirl you want to be.... And yna - I knew someone who went as a dildo one year, he made the costume complete with a battery pack he could switch on from inside so it vibrated. he was quite the popular party-goer.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

What's your Halloween costume this year? Posted: 10/5/2008 10:22:34 AM
I'm going to a party that has a Roswell/Area 51 theme. I haven't decided yet if I want to be an alien or military or one of the docs that did the alien autopsy.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

Stupid acts deserve sympathy? Posted: 10/5/2008 10:10:35 AM
I'd still feel sorry he ended up in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. Yes it was stupid what he did, but he wasn't trying to hurt anyone else and hey....we ALL have done stupid things now and again, especially when we were younger. Now if he had been drunk driving or doing something so incredibly stupid it endangered other people's lives?? Then I would have quite a bit less sympathy.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 37 (view)

Phones: Leaving Messages and Call Waiting Posted: 10/4/2008 11:21:35 AM
OP you are doing the right thing and being considerate enough to tell the guys you date about your phone aversion. Of course you shouldn't have to constantly check missed calls. The Plague of People who Need Instant Gratification - sheesh. I love my cell phone, and I love to chat. Having many friends and family who don't live near me it's great to have the ability to make a connection anywhere I am. I also have a long commute, so I often use that time to talk (with a headset of course...safety first!) . Having said that, I have absolute rules regarding call waiting, ringtones, answering calls while on dates etc. I don't have kids so my phone is on silent during dates, movies, restaurtants and other places where it might disrupt other's lives. I keep it on vibrate at work. Call waiting - yeah...answering it is OK but leaving me on hold for more than the time it takes to tell the caller "I'll call you back after I'm done with this call" is just rude. Especially if it's my dime. I'll hang up if they don't come back after about a half a minute or so. Edit: Frau Blucher - I love the term "Phone boors". hehe yeah, I've heard some pretty intersting stuff in line at the grocery store. Oy.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Management style: Respect vs Fear Posted: 10/4/2008 10:04:04 AM
UGH Sorry you have such a crappy boss Squeak. I've worked for both. Bad bosses who ruled in fear and gret bosses who have actually LEAD people to be outstanding. I prefer and respect the latter of course. I'm a manager and I always try to remember, even in my most frustrating moments (and there are plenty) that part of being a good leader is in how you handle and overcome the problems. If the group is "so far behind" that he feels he has to mandate OT --what is HE doing to fix the process that got you behind in the first place? Nothing, I'm sure. And that...is his job. Keep on standing your ground!

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Did I have the right to be angry? Posted: 10/2/2008 6:55:25 PM
What do I think? I'm still stuck on the fact that you never even met him and he was talking "love" and "kids". All he was is a guy you were talking to online. You both had the right to keep talking to as many others as you wanted unless and until you decided to be exclusive. but....He sounds like a wingnut to me because of the claims of wanting a relationship and then ignoring you and then the silence.....WTF?? Is he a cheater? Who knows? You didn't have a relationship with him so it's a moot point anyway. You were right not to persue anything with him methinks.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Odd dating requests... Posted: 9/28/2008 8:45:37 PM
This is definitely one of the stranger requests I've ever heard. Makes me wonder if she has some weird collection of men's underwear all over the walls of her house. If you're not too weirded out, go ahead and call her back. She might turn out to be a great catch. And keep us posted!

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

cheating girl friend did I make the right decision? Posted: 9/28/2008 3:58:00 PM
Yes -you made the right decision. Don't look back or you'll turn into a pillar of drama.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 73 (view)

Having Your Cake and Eating It Too or Hedging Your Bets Posted: 9/27/2008 2:06:02 PM
Oh for the love of..... OP why do you even care if he's hedging? You're married, and just fooling around being the bad girl you are according to your profile.... So who cares what this peice of crap cheater is doing? STD check please!

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Too fast or not? Real love or not? Posted: 9/25/2008 7:05:19 PM
I'm sorry for your pain, OP. The feelings you are having are 100% normal. Most of us have asked the very same questions after the end of long term realtionships, and the sad truth is sometimes you just never get an answer. There definitely IS real love out there. Give yourself time to heal and try to stay away from networking sites or people and places that will be giving you a constant stream of info about her. I know, easier said than done...but necessary to be able to get a clear picture and shake the emotional hurt.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 83 (view)

Sure-Fire First-Date Killers Posted: 9/23/2008 10:23:52 PM
What a great thread! To Joe and all of you who have had these experiences - I just say Thank You for the laughs and keep em coming! Joe -your profile is great, and your posts are hilarious. I hope you find a great lady soon! And SweetBabeBlue....I'm so glad your story didn't end in disaster with Mr controlling Steak-guy! Cheers all -

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

The Perils of Paying for a Matchmaking website.... Posted: 9/16/2008 7:32:17 PM
Wow- crazy story! And to think there are actually perfectly nice people who get rejected by that site because they aren't "good enough". geez. Did you finally tell him to pound sand?

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

Pursued until I met for dinner and then 3 days later, dumped Posted: 9/16/2008 8:18:04 AM
In addition to what Ren Man said about dodging bulletts: Even if he isn't a compulsive gambler...for him to get so angry about it that he won't talk to you now is indicative of someone who angers easily and has control issues. He's also an immature jerk for not even telling you he's not interested any more and just disappearing. So....yeah you dodged a bullett for a few reasons. This could have been a nightmare for you.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Am I really this stupid?? Posted: 9/16/2008 8:05:28 AM
Oh dear...run from this one OP. I mean really, do you REALLY want to be some jerk's sex toy? It's not even FWB....that would imply you are friends. There are lots of nice guys out there, wait for one of them and in the meantime, buy a vibrator.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Pursued until I met for dinner and then 3 days later, dumped Posted: 9/15/2008 8:26:46 PM
What you did was dodged a bullet sounds like! A little touchy about his poker game, eh? Well unless he lives in the hurricane area and all his power has been knocked out since it happened, I'd say just chalk it up to experience and move on.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

Order Your Custom Man Here Posted: 9/14/2008 7:57:10 PM
Arrr... I'm afeared even half-mast might be too much for ya Lassie... Ahhhhh...Let me clarify... Stomachs, I meant stomachs..... I ani't a'scared of no ForumSaurus

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Ever had a relationship with someone you were not attracted to? Posted: 9/14/2008 6:24:21 PM
x-file. I always see that delete post option, and I've always wondered...is anyone just allowed to up and delete anyone else's posts? That seems ludicrous since any person who may not like you could go around deleting all your posts!! ? Sorry to hijack the thread...please return to the topic, but I'm so curious about this?

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

organ donation; should one have to give to receive? Posted: 9/14/2008 6:17:21 PM
Very intersting topic! I do not think it should be a "rule" that one has to give to recieve. There are many people who are emliminated from organ donation because of illness. Their organs would not be suitable for anyone to have because of the drugs used in treatments or the illness itself. But...that same illness may require they recieve a healthy organ to live. I believe they should be able to receive it. I am a cancer survivor, and thankfully never needed an organ transplant, but I cannot even give blood now because I have had chemo. I am a complete orgran donor though, have been since before my illness, and if they can't use my organs for transplant they can at least use me as a school cadaver or for reasearch or whatever. That's helping to save lives too.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 635 (view)

People who just write how are you Posted: 9/14/2008 5:25:59 PM
My guess is that most people who write that are usually shy and don't know what to say. On the other end of the spectrum maybe they have sent out 100 emails to people they find attractive and were too lazy to write something more. I always try to answer everyone who makes first contact with me (unless it's overtly sexual), even if it's just to say "hi" back.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 31 (view)

If your honest you can't be positive? Posted: 9/14/2008 3:31:37 PM
OK drewrox, after reading more of your posts I will agree with you that telling the facts themselves, especially when asked for, do not make you a negative person and for someone to think that you are, based on just your experiences, is not fair. But if people are saying you are and it's happening a lot, there must be something in your delivery that's putting them off. Maybe we do need some examples to get a clearer picture of what you mean exactly.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

Order Your Custom Man Here Posted: 9/14/2008 3:27:53 PM
I like pirates too -- and add bug-killing to my list. Bald spots? they are fine -comb overs to hide them? not so much. Beer guts? As long as they aren't too big and the guy isn't an alcoholic! Double chins? Uh -no...I really do prefer skinny to medum builds. A little heavy is even OK if we have that chemistry, but I'm a little gal...so really big guys just aren't for me.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Order Your Custom Man Here Posted: 9/14/2008 1:13:41 PM
"Too Muscle-y"? Tim Curry? No -too muscle-y was referring to the link the OP posted - it was a picture of a muscle-man.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

Urban Legends... Posted: 9/14/2008 1:01:08 PM
eating pop rocks candy with soda will make you die cos they wil lexplode in your throat. Since pop rocks are again trendy and on the shelves, I tell you all this as a warning.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Ever had a relationship with someone you were not attracted to? Posted: 9/14/2008 12:30:38 PM
Not before the getting to know him stage, no. I had to think about this for awhile. I have dated men I would never have been physically attracted to right off the bat, but became atrtacted to after I got to know them. But you asked about "before" getting to know them so I have to say no.

meeshcake

Joined: 9/26/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

Order Your Custom Man Here Posted: 9/14/2008 12:18:06 PM
I'd do him... Yeah....sigh...me too, and it is unfortunate for us gals that he'd rather have you.

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