What was the worst thing you or your ex has done or said after your split-up? chat & forums.

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karatplusthree

Joined: 5/11/2005

Msg: 64 (view)

What was the worst thing you or your ex has done or said after your split-up? Posted: 8/9/2005 1:47:22 PM
After my divorce I was talking to my best girlfriend. She was telling me that my Ex has been complaining (her husbands brother owns the company) around work that he had to get out of my house because I wont leave him alone. That he can't even walk sideways without me trying to run him to the bedroom for sex. Does that make me look bad or him? HUMMMMM The funny part is that I hadn't had sex with him in almost 2 years, his boose and cigarettes were a real turn off

karatplusthree

Joined: 5/11/2005

Msg: 71 (view)

Well, I BROKE my Age Limit (POF Nookie Report) Posted: 7/27/2005 4:08:47 PM
I have been asked out on dates by children on here that are young enough to be my daughters husband YUCKKKK. I always tell them that if they want motherly advice they can always contact me, but anything but advice isn't going to fly.. Amazingly I never hear back from them. I substitute teach in my childrens school districts and when I'm in the high school they look like such babies. I can't imagine WHY anyone would even agree to date someone who doesn't even have his life diapers off yet while they are heading for the rocking chair of life. People no matter the sex should look at the moral implications that they are showing their own children when they engage is this type of behavior. Just wait until your 18 y/o son brings home a woman your age..... think what are you going to tell him now.... Mommy did it but your not allowed. I don't think so..... But that's just my opinion and I'm sticking to it................................

karatplusthree

Joined: 5/11/2005

Msg: 2238 (view)

Let ME analyze your profile for you Posted: 7/21/2005 8:56:22 AM
To the gentlemen who is critisizing this forum... If you don't like it then don't ask. The young lady who is looking at peoples profile is actually doing a wonderful job. If she feels like she is helping man and woman kind by doing this then so be it, that's her choice. This is her time and energy that she is using to do this and isn't taking time from anyone else. I have read the opinions and suggestions she is giving and she is actually doing a wonderfully great job. I have gone back and read profiles she has suggested corrections for and they have made good changes. Most people who put profiles on dating sites have friends and family look at them for suggestions, however; some times it's great to have a totally unbiased and unencombered opinion. I just want to tell her thanks in advance for her opinion. KArat

karatplusthree

Joined: 5/11/2005

Msg: 29 (view)

Dads..do you miss your children ? Posted: 7/21/2005 8:45:22 AM
To all you men that are fighting to see your children and who really truely want to be part of your childrens lives I want to send you a hug, pat you on your backs and tell you keep trying, it will make a difference in the childrens lives when they find out what you have and are doing. I have had to take my ex to court so that he will see his kids. Yeah that sounds silly. Even though he was and is a horriblly verbally abusive father, It hurt my kids every day that their daddy didn't want anything to do with them. He disappeared for over a year and called one day out of the blue demanding that I "produce" the children for a weekend visit. By that time they didn't even know who he was and were scared out of their minds about having to spend the weekend with him. So I took him to court and the court agreed and he now gets 1 hour supervised every two weeks at the courthouse. (inwhich he has cancelled 3 visits in the last 6 months) He only calls when it's convienent to him. and only wants to see them if it's convienent to him and his new life. In my opinion when the court councellor gave him the schedule to their baseball games, if it was me I would have been sitting in the parking lot or in the gas station watching my kids play ball. Then I could have told them what a great hit or play they did. He was told he could go and watch but he wasn't suppose to converse with them without a witness. He's told he could go to the eldests graduation from elementrary school and he didn't show up. Wow, it would have meant he would have missed 2 hours of work. I know his boss and not only would he have said GO, he would have volunteered to pick my ex up from his worksite and drive him to the graduation. The owner of the company is 100% family first. SO AGAIN TO YOU GENTLEMEN WHO ARE TRYING TO BE GOOD FATHERS I SALUTE YOU, KEEP IT UP, KEEP TRYING, LET YOUR KIDS KNOW YOUR TRYING, AND GOOD LUCK.

karatplusthree

Joined: 5/11/2005

Msg: 2204 (view)

Let ME analyze your profile for you Posted: 7/18/2005 3:06:31 PM
ok I've been reading what has been posted as advice and felt that over 90% of it was good advice. So can you please take a look at mine. I would greatly appreciate it. Before you do. I would love to have a picture of myself, but as a mom I'm always the person behind it, I'm working at getting some good ones of me to add and as soon as I do I will post them. Thanks Again

karatplusthree

Joined: 5/11/2005

Msg: 40 (view)

Anyone else notice the trend? Posted: 6/24/2005 2:31:26 PM
Cheating is no trend. The problem is that in the 60's NO ONE talk about it. It may have been whispered about around the bridge table, or at the bar, but it wasn't a subject that people talked openly about. Because of Television and the internet, the subject of cheating is not only talked about in the open, but in some circles is an accepted and encouraged norm. I for one don't believe in having relationships out of the commited relationship. but I do realize that it happens allot more than people want to admit. There are as many reasons as there are excuses for people who cheat. Not trying to bible thump, but if morality was put back into the country then things might change. Cheating is just one of the many symptoms of the state of society. The thing to do is to decide where you stand and stick to it. Encourage good behavior and morals of yourself and your children. Change always starts at home.

karatplusthree

Joined: 5/11/2005

Msg: 227 (view)

Are women intimidated by men that are more intelligent then them Posted: 6/24/2005 2:21:12 PM
I would love to have an intelligent man in my life. I'm not to shabby myself and having someone to talk to about more than how the car runs or what type of beer they prefer would be a welcome relief. In my eyes if you have someone in your life that challenges your intelligence then it will make you more willing to improve your self. It's sort of like keeping up with the Jones'.

karatplusthree

Joined: 5/11/2005

Msg: 43 (view)

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF THERE WAS A DEPRESSION Posted: 6/24/2005 2:16:45 PM
I would be fine if there was a depression. I own everything I have and I have enough acerage that I could learn to plant a garden. As a matter of fact I would love to have a vegetable garden now but I have a very very black thumb. I would find me some chickens to eat the eggs and meat. I would very quickly and easily probably become a vegetarian. I live close enough to the grocery store that if there was something I needed I could walk or ride my bicycle so I wouldn't have a need for my car. mainly if there was a major depression I would survive and survive well. Now it would be nice to have someone to survive with and to share the load, but as for me and my boys we would be fine.

karatplusthree

Joined: 5/11/2005

Msg: 19 (view)

KANSAS CITY / OVERLAND PARK Posted: 6/15/2005 9:41:05 AM
Here is a list of some of the best parks in the area. go to http://www.digitalcity.com/kansascity/bestparks/ Parkville's park has a nice walking trail and a covered area for picnic's. I've only driven by so everyone put in your 2 cents.

karatplusthree

Joined: 5/11/2005

Msg: 16 (view)

KANSAS CITY / OVERLAND PARK Posted: 6/14/2005 9:55:05 AM
p.s. afterthought if we come up with firm plans, we could ask the pof gods to send an email to all the people who live in the surrounding states letting them know what's going on and giving them an invite. Wouldn't that surprise allot of people :D

karatplusthree

Joined: 5/11/2005

Msg: 15 (view)

KANSAS CITY / OVERLAND PARK Posted: 6/14/2005 9:53:09 AM
I attended a singles picnic at the Johnson County Park about 3 years ago. It was great. Kids were there and everything was pot luck. I think a family picnic would be wonderful. So many of us Single folk have children and would love to have an event where they can be part of it. There are plenty of nice parks in the KC area that we could do this and do it without a major expense on anyone. Saturday or Sunday afternoons would be best for me and my family and would also allow others from the outter banks of Kansas, Missouri, oklahoma, and Nevada to join us without having to miss work. I think a later event would be fine for those who like to party, dance and have a beer with friends. So if the picnic was planned for a Saturday Afternoon from maybe 1-6 this would allow people to go someplace get showered and spiffed up for an adult eveing out. By having 2 different events in the same day this would also allow people who don't want to go to the picnic or the evening events to choose. And those who like both worlds can do both. I can help plan this if needed.

karatplusthree

Joined: 5/11/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

Prego and alone Posted: 6/1/2005 7:43:36 PM
I have been in your shoes as well as some of the other ladies. The twist was that I had a 2 year old and I was in Cuba with the Marines when he left me the first time. DON'T DO WHAT I DID..... I TOOK HIM BACK had another child and am a single mom of 3 wonderful boys. I can't change the past and I can and will never ever give up my boys. But as one of the other ladies said I finished Grad School as a single mom. My boys then 7 8 10 went to school with me 2 nights a week and sat in the Computer Lounge while I was in class. I had friends in other classes who would escort my boys to the bathroom everytime they had a break and I did the same during my breaks. WE are woman hear us Roar.......... we are strong and we can do anything. The best advice I can give is 1. Be a lady... (my dad always tells me that) as long as you are a lady about everything then there will never ever be anything he can say bad about you. 2. Never ever talk bad about him to or around the children.... there is actually a law out there that the non-custodial parent can charge you with if you do this. Other than that my mother even 20 years after her divorce still puts down my dad and non of us kids want to be around her. My father has never ever said a bad word about my mother and my brothers and I respect him for that. We are adults now and have all made our own oppinions of what happened. 3. Take care of yourself....... Take some time for yourself. Get a girlfriend to watch the babies and take atleast an hour a week for YOU. If you can't take care of yourself you can't take care of them. 4. Do what ever you need to do to make a safe life for the children. You don't have to be rich to be happy. There are allot of programs and thrift stores and garage sales that your kids can be happy and well taken care of with out being rich. 5. Get a good circle of friends. I have a friend that we call each other our OPITA.... We are each others ""Official Pain In The Butt"" we allow each other to complain and we don't take everything to heart. we also make sure that we each do what it is that we need to do. OPITA's are great...everyone should have one. Like the other ladies keep saying we are here for you, just keep on talking it helps.

karatplusthree

Joined: 5/11/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

Calling out to NorthEastern kansas. Posted: 5/31/2005 6:02:15 PM
Kansas... just like anyplace in the world is boring if your not willing to look around. I've lived all over the world and every place I went as a Marine the other Marines were saying it was boring. I NEVER EVER thought anyplace was boring because I didn't just sit in the barracks and get drunk every night. I have found out of the way places to go and see. Here in Kansas there are allot of places to go, you just have to be willing to look and do them. Kansas like California has many climates and many terrains. If you like motorbiking then you can do that. If you like fishing or boating you can do that. Just don't sit there and be a tv jockey and you'll find the world a better place. Most cities have an internet listing of things that are going on in the area. As for Kansas City there is even a list of free and almost free things to do. Just look,,,,, find a friend who thinks it's boring and start exploring you may be surprised. Since your in Topeka you are just a few hours drive from many places. Get in your car, point it in a direction, set a timer and see what you find in that time limit. Ask at the local Chamber of Commerace when you get to a new town. They are always willing to give you good advise on what's happening, and some times they will even give you discount tickets to local events. Just take a leap of faith and go.

karatplusthree

Joined: 5/11/2005

Msg: 72 (view)

Over 30 -- What is your biggest turn on Posted: 5/30/2005 6:21:45 PM
I think the biggest turn on is true romance. I still like it when a man opens doors and pulls out chairs. A man who takes the time to truely find out what it is that makes me happy and allows me to find out the same about him. Kara

karatplusthree

Joined: 5/11/2005

Msg: 24 (view)

What is the one thing you would like to do before you die.....? Posted: 5/25/2005 8:43:57 PM
I have a list of things I would like to do in my little book. However; I think the top three would be. See the aurora borealis (Northern Lights) while cuddling up next to some one that makes me feel special. Be a grandmother (boy I hope that one takes a long time) so that I can watch the grandkids get told the same things I was told and I told my boys. Be able to forgive.

karatplusthree

Joined: 5/11/2005

Msg: 116 (view)

why is it so hard to find that special man Posted: 5/25/2005 4:53:09 PM
Personally, I feel that the reason most people can't find "THAT SPECIAL PERSON" is because society has convinced us all to make a list of "THE PERFECT MATE". Instead I have made a list of what I don't want. By doing this, I have opened up a whole new world and a whole new idea of what I'm looking for. I have really enjoyed reading everyone's posts here and have enjoyed that this is one of the few Forums that hasn't turned into trash. Karat

karatplusthree

Joined: 5/11/2005

Msg: 26 (view)

Recipes or thoughts for the picky child Posted: 5/21/2005 9:05:09 PM
I've finally figured out how to get kids to eat things. I have 3 boys and they range from 9 - 12. As of last summer they now cook meals also. Since they have the ability to plan the meals they are willing to try different things. Right now their favorite foods are Fried Eggplant, Scallops and Flounder and fruit salad. If you'll look at the picture, my kids were chosen by Better Homes and Gardens and the local tv station to do a family cooking contest. When the boys plan a meal they are required to have a MEAT, FRUIT, VEGITABLE, DAIRY and a Drink (not soda). I give them $15.00 to purchase what they need for their meal to feed the 4 of us. They go threw cook books, plan the meal, check the cupboards, shop for it (I have a local mom and pop grocery store) and cook the meal. I'm in the kitchen with them. Not only are we trying things new and different all the time, this is also helping them with their math, and reading. Specially Fractions. When they have served the meal they get the place of honor at the table and the bonus for them is that they get to keep 50% of what they don't spend. We started off with basic foods and have progressed to wonderful meals. This has also helped in keeping the food budget down. Yes you can make a home made meal for 4 people under 15.00$'s. A few weeks ago I told my oldest that I was tired and that I was going to call and order pizza. He had a fit. "Mommmmmmmmm it's my turn to cook and I want taco's" OOOOOPS yes we had taco's that night. It may not work for everyone but if you give them some power over what is made sometimes it helps with what they will be willing to eat. And yes, you have to eat it even if it's burned. just SMILE and tell them they will do better next time, or my saying is "Sorry son, it was my fault I was in charge of checking the oven". I don't allow the 9 y/o to cook with hot oil or pull the hot pan out of the oven but he is able now to do everything else pretty much by himself. Karat

karatplusthree

Joined: 5/11/2005

Msg: 1669 (view)

A Barn By Any Other Name... Posted: 5/21/2005 8:50:06 PM
I wrote this when I was a teanager and I think it still describes me and what I want. The planting of a tree. Starting of a shower baking of a cake giving of a flower. Giving of a smile to brighten up my day just showing that you love me in one of many ways. Karat

karatplusthree

Joined: 5/11/2005

Msg: 782 (view)

What do women over 40 want? Posted: 5/21/2005 8:47:40 PM
Someone way earlier in this Forum said that women don't know what they want. I sort of agree and I disagree at the same time. I know what I don't want. And that is a repeat performance of the same ole stuff. I like the saying. "If I continue to do what I've always done, I will continue to get what I have always gotten". So I don't want the same as what I've had. I can't put a finger on what I do want except that I want a gentleman, a friend, a lover, a confidant, but mostly I want a person who makes me feel special and who I can make feel special. I can't tell you what he would have to be or do to make me feel that way. I'll just know it when it hits me like a lead balloon. karat

karatplusthree

Joined: 5/11/2005

Msg: 46 (view)

Age Posted: 5/21/2005 8:28:03 PM
It's not that I wouldn't date someone out of the +=10 years. It's just that with my family living well into the 90's I don't know if there is someone out there younger than me that is going to want to have me stick around for another 40+ years. And there are not allot of older men in Kansas City looking to help raise children. I'm not looking for someone to fit into a mold of the perfect man. I know there is no "perfect sole mate" that is going to just see me here on a dating site and jump at the opportunity to sweep me off my feet. I do know that no matter the age of a person you are in a relationship with, relationships are not as easy as waking up every morning and your in this fairy tale life. Both partners have to be willing and able to put 110% into making it work. I want someone who is going to make me feel special. Someone who cares when I have a headache or holds my hand when I'm crossing the road. Someone to jump in the shower with me and wash my back or hair. If that means the person is 20 years older or younger than me then so be it. Karat

karatplusthree

Joined: 5/11/2005

Msg: 135 (view)

Has anyone been brave enough to meet someone with no pic at all? Posted: 5/21/2005 5:03:58 PM
I haven't dated anyone with out a picture, but after reading all these post, I began to think. What does a photo really mean. The men I met after seeing a pictur didn't look like their pictures anyways. On man posted a picture of himself nicely dressed in a suit with black hair and a nice gotee. When he showed up he had long scraggly grey hair with a bandana piercings everywhere and dirty clothes. I asked him about the picture and he said it was from 10 years ago when he was on a cruise. then you have the people who steal a picture from someone else to post, so that they get responses. And there are the cartoons and beautiful artworks people use as their main pictures. So if this is how things are going to be ..... then think.. What is a picture worth anyways.

karatplusthree

Joined: 5/11/2005

Msg: 44 (view)

HOW FAR WOULD YOU GO FOR LOVE Posted: 5/21/2005 4:47:09 PM
As a single mom, I would never ever put myself in a position that a stranger had control of the situation. I would agree to meet someone half way in a public place. As long as I have my vehicle and my money to get me out of there if I so wanted then things would be ok. I do however check out the people I'm talking to so that I can make sure that I'm safe. I'm all my boys have. If that makes a guy uncomfortable then he's not the right guy for me. If he understands why I'm doing it, then he is worth dating. Karat

karatplusthree

Joined: 5/11/2005

Msg: 24 (view)

or just be rich Posted: 5/21/2005 4:20:59 PM
Having money in the bank is not a pre requisit for me. However; I really don't want to date a person that is so far in debt that the bottom is at the center of the earth. Karat

karatplusthree

Joined: 5/11/2005

Msg: 28 (view)

Age Posted: 5/21/2005 3:14:21 PM
I've always been told age is in the eyes of the beholder. BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT When my Dad was single at the same time that I was single we had a deal. I don't date anyone older than him, he was 60 and he didn't date anyone younger than me 30. I've been told that a good age bracket is + or - 10 years. I can' invision myself dating anyone 10 years younger than me. However; most the gentlemen my age and older already have grown kids and from my experience here in Kansas City, they don't want to take on helping raise 3 more young ones. My youngest will be 9 this year so maybe I need to look for younger men but again I just can't imagine it. Karat

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