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CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

The Office...Sad TV show... Posted: 11/22/2009 8:57:56 PM
I like it because it's understated funny, although sometimes it's sad funny. I know some of those characters from my own office. I love the way some of the characters ham at the camera, while others just do their evil deeds without even NOTICING the camera (Dwight). I just saw the episode about "Pretzel Day"--lol. Just as in MY office, people get WAY too excited about free food.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Going alione Posted: 11/22/2009 8:53:25 PM
I think to myself that people must assume I am the mysterious woman happening into town, escaping her loveless marriage by road-tripping to all the fine dining establishments across the country. Like Denny's.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 63 (view)

Men and self esteem Posted: 11/20/2009 2:55:06 PM
Report: 20% of Divorced Parents (read: moms) Want to Make Other Parent’s Contact with Child ‘as Unpleasant as Possible’ - THE ACTUAL REPORT READ DIFFERENTLY: "One answer could be suggested by a finding of the Mishcon de Reya report — one in five divorcing spouses admitted to having the primary objective of making the experience as unpleasant as possible for his or her former partner." Mr Sacks then juxtaposed this finding with his own agenda, that of Father's Rights, and said "And given that it's fathers, not mothers whom children are losing, and it's mothers, not fathers who get primary custody in 85% - 90% of cases, it's not hard to figure out who's doing most of the alienating." Now, if you agree with his stats (and I do not), you'll find this a compelling argument. However, if you read things critically, you'll note that the STUDY said nothing about alienation, only Sacks did. He jumped to a conclusion that because people fight when they hand the kids off, that means women are refusing to allow men to see their kids. This is NOT a logical --or factual-- leap to make. I'm all for father's rights, by the way, just totally against liars and propagandists. I think men SHOULD fight to have their kids, but what I see is men LETTING the women have custody of the kids (see my previous post as to why, BTW--they GAIN assets by losing the kids). ============ As to men's and boys self-esteems, you can read it right here on the Forums. Guys claiming men don't talk about their feelings. If you don't talk about them, you won't understand them, and won't address the problems. I personally think all that is changing, and I'm glad--I hear the college boys on this campus say things that not in a MILLION YEARS would my dad have said. And by society's standards of the day, he was a "sensitive guy" because he spent a LOT of time with us one-on-one ('rents were married). I DO think boys were supposed to be stoic about things--but do you not see all the posts about women wanting men to talk things out, and men saying they'd rather go into their caves? ============= What's he supposed to do Fight for custody. Not allow the courts to railroad you. Insist upon your parental rights. [I bet you didn't do that because it was too much time and/or money, huh? Always about the money, isn't it?] There is not ONE LAW on the books that says that females have more parental rights than males, that females get the kids automatically. I have one set of friends who just split up--she wants the kid, he wants the kid. Guess who got the kid? He did. Why? Because he's a millionaire and could afford the court costs.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 542 (view)

Love,Quality of life and who pays Posted: 11/20/2009 2:03:30 PM
Interesting fallacy. Lets take a closer look at this statement since it highlights the fundamental problem of rethoric and reality. "Most of the women who want a man who is financially stable are usually financially stable themselves, or are living a decent life and providing for themselves." This is rarely the case. However, most women are more than capable of providing for themselves, but not in the social strata they desire. Do you think because you cut and pasted that it now makes yours a fact? Cuz it doesn't. Your opinion is no more fact than that poster's! S/he said women "are providing for themselves"; you said "This is rarely the case". Do you have proof to back up that statement, since you are calling him/her out for his/hers? PROVE it's a fallacy with some objective figures. Otherwise, say something like, "I disagree, what I see is..." A lot of the men of PoF seem to think they are SUPER rational just because they can cut-n-paste and opine.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 55 (view)

Men and self esteem Posted: 11/20/2009 1:38:39 PM
Look at the show Bones, she is portayed as super intelligent, a successful writer who is rich, he is portrayed as a 20th century neanderthal who bumbles at his relationships, only good at his job. ???I don't get that "read" from the show at all. She's actually more flawed than he is--super intelligent but it is she who is poor at interpersonal skills, and he who excels at them (and she who is jealous of HIM, not the other way around). It is he, in fact, who is more human--she's like a superfast and quite literal computer while he's a feeling, thinking, acting human being. How is a guy who wears suits all the time a Neanderthal? Because he's also athletic and a hero type? How is having TWO "dominant" characters on the show "cutting down the man"? You have an odd way of looking at things, I must say. Anyway, I like that show! And LEAST of all because of the main female character. (Although the way they act at work at the Jeffersonian is unforgivably juvenile and totaly unprofessional. Squints or no, they shouldn't be allowed to act like that at work.) And how are "Family Guy" and "The Simpson's" women's shows? Men seem to LOOOOOOVE those shows. And finally, let's get this fact straight: a loss of privilege is NOT the same thing as a loss of rights. Men often bemoan the fact that they have to work at relationships now, where they used to just have to show up and make the women do all the work. Now that women are holding them to a higher standard of human being, men are crying loss of rights (you need only read a few threads before that drivel starts up, how things in his dad's day were SO much better blah blah). Since most states use a guideline 25% of his income would go to her for child support for 2 kids. I could not find this "fact" in evidence online. I found a link to a PDF which suggests your numbers to be outrageously high. http://www.census.gov/prod/2005pubs/p70-99.pdf Her living standard is raised, his is lowered. This isn't the case, most of the time. In fact, loko at the ACTUAL facts instead of basing your premise on a made -up stat: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/25/divorce-women-research http://www.aifs.gov.au/institute/media/media090708.html http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1127333/For-richer-poorer-Why-divorce-makes-men-wealthier--women-left-worse-off.html?ITO=1490

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 43 (view)

Men and self esteem Posted: 11/20/2009 12:14:27 PM
First off, what struck me about OP is that it sounds like he's blaming someone for this. You know what? Women FOUGHT FOR the right to self-esteem and to be heard for themselves etc. It didn't come without cost, and wasn't handed to women by society. If you want the images of men to change, you need to fight for it. Get that message out there, hit society in the face with it. I agree that there are many poor images of men on TV: guys that not in a million years I would put up with THAT shyte (Raymond, Jim Belushi, the Office guy). Men are OFTEN portayed--as a joke--to be lazy (always taking the easy way out, and PROUD of it) and stupid. by the way, though, MEN are the driving forces behind each of those TV shows--now women. And on these types of shows, women are put into stereotypical roles as well (homemakers who use sex to get what they want from those bumbling fools they married). One that REALLY drives me bonkers is Glade commercial, where the guy is so stupid he can't get the Glade to come on, goes through various histrionics to try to get it to work, then wifey pompously comes by and presses the button for the dumb oaf. But then, I think again: The chief of police is a man, the president of the company is a man, pretty much every major authority figure is a man. Unless it is the focus of the TV show, where they are showing "see, women can do this, too!" (and almost every time there's a man in the background, letting the little lady have her head, which is never quite up to standards, but, by gum, she gets the job done. Boy, is she ever an amazing little woman). And still yet, who is Glade and every other cleaning tool/product marketed to? WOMEN. We're STILL (as far as advertisers are concerned) at home, keeping the house clean until the man comes home to dinner on the table--even if it's a store bought but every bit as good as homemade dinner! You know what? Come to think of it? Maybe, just maybe, we shouldn't look to TV for our inspirations in life. =============== I do wonder at what it must be like for a boy to grow up with so much venom directed at his gender. I imagine it's the same as the little girls feel. I know as an athlete--and a very good one--that it pisses me off NO END for coaches to call their boy charges "ladies" as an insult, or say "you throw like a girl" as if that's an insult. Let's see, all women are bitches, the whole PMS thing, women aren't rational or are "too" emotional and that is a BAD thing, etc.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Is this a Hate Crime ? Posted: 11/20/2009 11:54:11 AM
I think the very idea of penalizing hate crimes differently (what, shock him twice in the above case?) is just another way of being racist. I agree with this--the crime is already on the books (battery). But now there's a new category, "hate crime", which is meaningless and pretty much impossible to "prove". You cannot "prove" what's in someone's head. You can assume, but that isn't how the Law works. The motivation for the crime isn't important in penalizing the criminal, to my way of thinking. Is someone less dead because they were white? To answer the OP's question: Yes, it was a hate crime. That woman was a racist (which, by the way, is not actually a crime in and of itself). ========================== In other words, if a person has been "thinking" about, and planning a crime, and didn't act on whim of the moment, the punishment is more severe--as it should be. Frame of mind is always considered when deciding an appropriate punishment. Um, no, they don't prosecute based on the thoughts, but on the ACTIONS. You can THINK all you want about yanking someone's headdress. But unless you also bought special gloves to hide your fingerprints which PROVES you knew that to yank that headdress was illegal, they cannot (or could not, in the past!) bring your "thinking" into the discussion. And yes, acting on hate should raise the level of punishment. Why?

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Dad or Jail? Posted: 11/20/2009 11:48:07 AM
It's not like this kid is a 7 year old--he's a pretty old kid, should know what he wants as far as seeing dad or not. He may have very good reasons--even if the reason is "dad is so mean and makes me brush my teeth" (which is doubtful). Mom doesn't sound like she's helping any, either--couldn't she convince her son to see his dad? Or convince the dad to come down and see his son, even if the son doesn't want to? A 14 yr old doesn't want to spend any time with EITHER parent, frankly!! I'd like to hear what DAD says about this--does DAD think it's a good way to deal with his own child not wanting to see him? And if DAD does feel this is a good way to deal with this, is DAD a good dad? WTF, is all I can say!!

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

Why can't I just move on? Posted: 11/19/2009 12:53:09 PM
...and you wonder why you're single? I'm more likely to wonder how some people manage to sit, what with that stick up their butts. =================== VVVV To each his own. BUTT

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Hand of God!!! Posted: 11/19/2009 9:19:49 AM
Jeez--offsides AND a handball. Luck of the Irish, eh? How can the officiating be THAT bad in a WC qualifier?!

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Commitment, a unique or generalized pledge? Posted: 11/19/2009 8:48:14 AM
I know a lot of women appear to like to analyze and discuss commitment, and I have often wondered why? Same reason you are, right now. This is what communication IS: analyzing and discussing. Because when two disparate people come together, each brings his own interpretation to the table. You have to figure out how each person defines commitment (some people are polyamorous, some people say they love you but want to screw others but that's still emotionally committed to you, some people think you shouldn't even be TALKING to other men while you are committed to them, etc). And even within the context of a relationship, the definition of commitment changes as the relationship changes. There, to me, isn't "commitment" and "no commitment"--there are LEVELS of commitment.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Why can't I just move on? Posted: 11/19/2009 8:38:28 AM
Get together with some girlfriends and trash-talk him. It works for me. All guys who have dumped me are azzholes, even if they're really nice guys. I DO think that part of the reason you are fixated on him is that he's the "safe" one to fixate upon. I think you're lonely, but don't want to be in a relationship (scared your life will change too much? just too inconvenient?)--so you "fall for" the guy who won't return your feelings.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Was I right? Posted: 11/19/2009 8:25:42 AM
You are REALLY bad at this, aren't you?

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

dumped on facebook Posted: 11/19/2009 8:18:07 AM
LOL that is true! 'Tis better to have been dumped on FaceBook than to have been poofed.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 61 (view)

I sneeze you say Bless you. Posted: 11/18/2009 8:27:12 PM
Things said in German just seem to have more oomph. lol 75% of people in USA are descended, at least partially, from Germans.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Coincidences or Not? Posted: 11/18/2009 7:43:46 PM
I think that what one person calls quantum fluctuation another calls fate and another calls cioncidence, but then attributes that to fate or quantum fluctuation. It's all the same thing. Isn't there also synchronicity (if I remember my Police)? It must be one of those innately human things. I think human are meaning-makers, and are genetically programmed to see patterns, even when the pattern isn't REALLY there! Like, you know, Jesus in the grilled cheese samich.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Obnoxious screennames Posted: 11/18/2009 7:13:03 PM
How gangsta can you be if you're put off by some people making fun of your shirt?? Weird. Screen names matter to some people--why have one that obviously irks more than one person? Change it to GorgeousMillionaire, see what happens.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 485 (view)

Love,Quality of life and who pays Posted: 11/18/2009 7:00:12 PM
i will do what i can. I await your next post with 'bated breath. Always entertaining, even though I have no idea what your point is. Ever.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

Is it really such a good idea to fish off the hobby pier? Posted: 11/18/2009 1:36:41 PM
Kind of hard to find a quad riding, gun shooting girl who loves photography and wants to do all of them. I am not sure if you're joking or not, but I see this ALLLLLL the time. EVERY time. Guys want, basically, a dood to screw.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 34 (view)

Born in the wrong era.... Posted: 11/18/2009 12:42:59 PM
I get what you're saying, OP. Sex is a HUGE component of any BF/GF relationship for me, too. I have to admit to having a much shorter fuse (like, I'll dump 'em faster) with guys who don't measure up (so to speak). And I also admit to hanging on longer than I should just because the sex is good. It's just that, while we all know now how YOU feel about it, there STILL exist in society those guys who won't consider a woman who gives it up "too soon" (ie, first date) as a serious dating prospect/marriage material. Men don't exactly have "judgemental hypocrite" tattooed on their foreheads. And then you have to factor in that each woman, herself, is going to have a slightly different interpretation of how the relationship should go--you're not the ONLY one who gets an opinion, you know.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

Dumped/Back together advice ??? Posted: 11/18/2009 8:28:34 AM
Now that we are back together and going strong, I cant seem to get over the fact that she dumped me and was out fishing around behind my back. Well, you made your long story SO short that you left out QUITE important details. You said you were at a place where you didn't want to commit--did you tell her this? Did you relegate her to FWB status by that? All's fair in love and FWB--she's "free" to seek out "real" relationships (in my opinion). It's up to you--it sounds like you are the one who is having the problem, so you need to resolve it. Your only fair choices are: --accept the past and get on with the future with your girlfriend --don't accept the past and dump your girlfriend If this issue in your head keeps getting in the way, stop stringing her along.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Is there any recourse??? Posted: 11/18/2009 8:13:46 AM
I'm not sure I'd equate lying with being a danger to women. Unless you mean a danger like too much sugar is a danger. OP sounds a little too dramatic. Traumatized and shocked? OMG!! Preying on women? ZOMG!! Here's how I would handle these things: --Date one: Hello. [drink coffee] Good-bye, and good luck [Hm--he wasn't what he said he was!] --Date two: there wouldn't be one. The only recourse is to go out with nice guys instead of pathological liars. Most humans can spot the creepsters right off--why can't you?

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Why would a guy you had fun with turn off? Posted: 11/17/2009 1:36:00 PM
They maybe right in saying that he may only want you for sex, but some guys including me. Like to know everything about a woman before entering into a relationship, including sex. Once I've experienced this, and all the other aspects of her personality and life, then I decide if she's right for me. I vote this answer as correct. I think he likes you "enough", but wants to know if he likes you "a lot". If you end up being a fantastic lover, your "going too fast" won't be a problem any more. HOWEVER--YOU don't seem to be on board with this concept. DO NOT do anything that you do not absolutely want to do. So, don't sleep with him until you want to--do not sleep with him thinking IF YOU DO, he WILL want you "seriously". It doesn't work that way.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 39 (view)

No-one likes him except me Posted: 11/17/2009 10:46:08 AM
I DO find it interesting that OP didn't list any of his good traits--why she likes him, what she sees in him. Only what others say to her about him. Most people would say things like, "My family hates my BF but they don't know how he makes me feel safe, how he fluffs my pillow for me, how he makes pancakes every Sunday." But instead OP said this, "He has no drive, ambition, or sense of direction." Hmmmm. If you respect your family and friends, listen to them. Don't give the guy any money, just have fun with him. Maybe it'll turn out that he just needed some time to clear his head, then he'll get back to being his old, reliable, jobbed self. -OR- Maybe it'll turn out that he's a total moocher trying to live off you until you kick him out.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 79 (view)

P.P.& Rapists Posted: 11/17/2009 10:12:17 AM
???? Then put them in prison and let them die by an inmate. Apparently even criminals have a moral code they abide by. I'm confused by your argument. Are you for or against death penalty? How do you feel about cruel and unusual punishment? If you "know" that a child abuser will end up dying by the murder, then you are pretty much condoning murder, so why not make it by lethal injection, which isn't cruel (although it s unusual)?

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 56 (view)

I sneeze you say Bless you. Posted: 11/17/2009 9:52:45 AM
LOL I thought I would revive this thread. I'm being roundly admonished on FaceBook by Christians for saying Gesundheit instead of Blesss you (like I'm the friggin' pope?!) after someone sneezes. They are getting quite mean toward me, as if I said "I hit puppies every time someone sneezes". I find it amusing that people can be so emotionally invested in such a small thing. Now, shaved pubes and coffee paying, THAT is important stuff.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 102 (view)

You know you're getting old when ... Posted: 11/17/2009 9:11:30 AM
Wonderful! You remember envying the rich kid in junior high as he showed off his brand new TI-2500 pocket calculator-the one that ran for about 15 minutes on 4 AA batteries. Dood! LOL! I still have (and use at work) my TI-25!!!! I recall going to the store with my dad [1978] to buy a calculator with algebraic functions because my sister's cost him $150, so it was a BIG purchase. Mine, a year later--$25!!

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

easy going fun lovin...what happened? Posted: 11/16/2009 9:34:51 PM
I am exactly the same way--I am snarky as hell, really funny, but guys don't tend to think I'm long-term material. They actually get with me thinking they will have nothing but fun, and when I get "serious" they run away. Funny, though, for you it sounds the opposite, sort of: women won't even give you a chance because they WANT serious. lol Perhaps we should trade? I'm sure there's some lesson to be learned, here, but I'm too tired.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

A suggestion for a couple like us? Posted: 11/16/2009 9:30:27 PM
pasta, sundried toms, pinon nuts, shrimp, olive oil

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

dumped on facebook Posted: 11/16/2009 9:27:57 PM
Be a man, eh? OK...we'll stop breaking up by email when some of y'all can act like a lady (which might be why we broke up with you in the first place). Fair's fair, right? You can drop the sexist flame war right here and now... Hmmm, I see it's "unfair" to say the guy is a poophead for breaking up over email--AFTER 1.5 YEARS (this ain't no fling)--but that it's ok by you to insinuate that the reason he broke up is because she ain't no lady. Flame? I call you Fire! Lots of people do this now, they don't want to take responsibility for their actions. It's juvenile. (The original Dear Johns were to guys overseas during the World Wars, not some guy down the street, BTW--back then there WAS no other way to break up. Otherwise, she would have been CHEATING, right?) I assume this guy she's been dating for 1.5 years is someone she sees regularly.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 124 (view)

Women on Submarines Posted: 11/16/2009 9:18:27 PM
Yes, I see your point. Not wanting to put your child in foster care DOES make you unfit for duty aboard a boat. (WTF?!)

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 463 (view)

Love,Quality of life and who pays Posted: 11/16/2009 5:39:37 PM
But, I CAN NOT tolerate a woman that feels accomplished by being able to attract wealthy men. I'd venture that MOST of us find this annoying at the very least. Like I've said before, amongst MY circle of friends, NO golddiggers, many women who make much much more than the man, accomplished educated women. I sometimes think people just need to find a better class of people to hang out with. Were I to come across a person--male or female--who overvalues money and the making of it, I just sort of don't become friends with him/her. I'd feel we don't have much in comon. Notice I did NOT say I'd try to change the way that person thinks/feels--it's futile. And I CERTAINLY don't date him!

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 32 (view)

Christmas already? For Christ's sake... Posted: 11/16/2009 2:53:19 PM
Yeah , it's not like he knocked over the stalls at the marketplace in Jerusalem because of all the money changers there or anything...

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 43 (view)

Dating A Single Child Posted: 11/16/2009 12:10:09 PM
This whole "red flag", exacting specifications bullshit has clearly become a parody of itself. Am I reading this correctly? It's a big red flag for you if people have red flags? LOL I'm with you on that one!

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

Dating A Single Child Posted: 11/16/2009 10:11:38 AM
It wouldn't be a factor in whether I date a guy or not. But personality traits the go along with being an "only" might. A strange mix of bossy and baby [as a child, always demanding, and probably getting, catered to]. Selfish and assured [expecting to get their way because they always have]. More somber than silly [growing up with all those adults around]. And-- way too often for it to be serendipity-- they are know-it-alls. I'm also pretty good at picking out the youngest--usually, they are the funniest and the smartest and the best looking [because parents stop trying for more kids when they reach perfection]. Yes, I am the youngest of four, why do you ask?

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

He ran away... Posted: 11/16/2009 8:33:46 AM
LOL last time that happened to me (15 years ago) the guy was engaged to be married--but "forgot" to mention it to me. He about shyte his panties when he saw me talking to her the next week. She and I were just being friendly, talking about the [rugby] game, but since he was feeling guilty, it was written all over his face. I'm surprised SHE didn't see it.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 35 (view)

Do you feel you Do More in a relationship - Or does your SO do more for you? Posted: 11/16/2009 8:14:04 AM
That's a good point. Over the course of a relationship, usually one person needs more than the other at some point. The one who isn't in need should step up and "give". Next month, maybe it will be YOU needing more, and wanting your partner to "give".

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Christmas already? For Christ's sake... Posted: 11/16/2009 8:12:03 AM
Until we actually say "Hey! No more", poverty due to capitalism is just going to increase! Wow, and you're 36 yrs old! I'd expect that naivete from an 18 yr old. Have you never been poor? Making ends meet? Zero balance at the end of the month? Christmas and the extra work you can get can save your life (I thank the Denver Dry Goods for Christmas 1983). And at least here you get above minimum wage when you work retail like Macy's or something. The deal is you have to work crap hours--long hours, plus on Christmas Eve and right after Christmas, etc.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 34 (view)

Religion Posted: 11/15/2009 8:16:37 PM
In the same way a black person who may be half Caucasion or Asian by birth will be seen as black. It isn't that it is their choice, whatever the religion says about be the decendents of the 12 tribes of Israel: it is about how they are perceived. Hm, I actually disagree. I'm trying to think of people I know who are Jewish--I would never know they are unless they told me. Like Helena Bonham Carter, who is Jewish? I only know because I just investigated. Ditto with some actors who are black--if you didn't tell me, I wouldn't know! Dorothy Dandridge or whatever her name was, Halle Berry. I don't know, maybe I suck at racial profiling lol! ================== (Sorry, edited it because I thought maybe I'd hit my limit for today) Ha ha, well, let's see one of my best friends is half Japanese and gets thought of as Hispanic all the time. I'll ask HER! If I'm in the right crowd, people wonder if I'm half Asian or Hispanic or NatAm. I understand what you mean, though--I almost married a man who is half Black half Chinese. Even with a Chinese last name people call him "African American" which drives him nuts because he's not African nor American (he's from Brit Guyana, now Belize).

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

I saw my ex's new woman/I don't know what I feel Posted: 11/15/2009 6:11:24 PM
Huh, you got me thinking about all my exes. --four haven't ever married and probably won't (of these, one I wanted to marry, two didn't want to marry me, and one wanted to marry me) --one's "new" wife is coming to my party (by herself) on Tuesday --one is married, but we aren't really friends any more (he lives 2000 miles away) --one is dating a woman whom I do not know, but she is ugly and sort of low class looking Guess which one I feel most upset about? Yep--the one where I feel the woman is inferior to me, yet he loves HER, not me, so what the hell does that make ME?! On the outside, I'm so much "better", but inside I must be NOTHING compared to her.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

cheating, how prevalent is it? Posted: 11/15/2009 11:16:20 AM
Where the hell do you work? I know NOTHING about the sex lives of my co-workers. Are you particularly nosy or something? Was this ONE guy they ALL sleep with? I'd say cheating in NON marriage is higher than in marriage--I mean, no commitment, no guilt over "cheating". I have no idea how "prevalent" it is. You hear stats that 40% say they have cheated, but then, is that per relationship, or had the person had 100 relationships and cheated once? I personally don't think that 40% of the time in a given relationship, someone cheats. ============ No, no, Jorge! Not the smoldering eyes, licking your lips, pulling me against you (I'm helpless against your charms), "Besame, Jorge!"

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

cheated Posted: 11/15/2009 10:33:59 AM
YOU WERE ON A BREAK! Say that in Ross' voice. I agree with most others--your relationship isn't a good one. I'm not a fan of that whole drama thing, either. Your partner is supposed to make your world an easier place to be in, not a worse one.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Christmas already? For Christ's sake... Posted: 11/15/2009 10:27:47 AM
Trivialize this holiday? They expanded it to last from Halloween until after Christmas. It, to me, seems to be MORE important than when I was a kid. I'm not sure why some people think just because people can make money off of it makes it "lesser" in value, somehow. Plus, I love kitsch--so bring on the neon praying hands! I further wonder if the reason it's highlighted as a sappy holiday is because people live so far apart, now. We "need" a reason to come together as humans and show our love for each other because we've been "separated" by technology for all the rest of the year?

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

Religion Posted: 11/15/2009 10:15:33 AM
It is because a Jew is considered Racially a Jew, What I find interesting about this is that the REASON people are considered "racially" Jews is based on religion. Their religious history teaches that all Jews are descendants of the the "original" 7-12 tribes of Israel, right? I seriously doubt that all Jews have the same DNA markers. I think the critera for those who were only half Jewish was that, as long as mother was a Jew, you were considered a Jew. That's the religious criterion, not Hitler's (he may have used it as well). I think he was not only eradicating a religion, but also anyone he thought looked funny. For example, all the Romani there. Catholics, as well, so I don't know why people say he was Catholic (perhaps born into a Catholic family? Most Austrians were Catholic, so that would be logical). In other debates--when it suits people lol--they like to proclaim he was an atheist and say THAT was the reason he was evil. And also--people can convert to Judaisim? It isn't logical. They're not changing their DNA, either.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

what do you think we are born knowing??? Posted: 11/15/2009 10:02:29 AM
LOL babies and other baby animals are not "genetically programmed to be cute"--WE are genetically programmed to think they are! There is something about women, too, that is different than men in this area. I think some hormone gets released when we look at babies (of lots of species, and I think this goes for female mammals across the board); the hormone makes us "love" them. Yeah, the babies don't exactly "swim", they DO automatically hold their breaths, though, and pop to the top of the water. ARGH my T key is sticky

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 74 (view)

P.P.& Rapists Posted: 11/15/2009 9:57:37 AM
wudger -- you misread. He said that he people DOING the lynchings were the murderers, and the innocent people being lynched were the ones needing protecting. But it IS an interesting example to bring up! There is a difference between "lynching" and "hanging". "Hanging" was capital punishment, lynching was vigilantism. But what REALLY is the difference?

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 115 (view)

Letting the walls down Posted: 11/14/2009 7:45:17 PM
Just a big game and his ego needed stroking. I got it. Isn't that why we ALL date, really? To make ourselves feel 'better'? What is love, other than one huge ego boost? There really IS no reason to be cynical about this--nothing happened! Nothing horrible and nothing great. Quit trying to make it into this Harlequin romance. You both took a shot, and it didn't work out. It's not a romantic novel, it's a Greek tragedy: you lost, but you learned something.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Religion Posted: 11/14/2009 7:38:25 PM
I say that your use of "dogmatic" is revealing--or you a very literal person. M-W also says religion is " a cause, principle, or system of beliefs held to with ardor and faith", and I'd say THAT is when it gets to be a problem, unless you both think the same thing. ============ GWEN--me, too! Same guy?! lol VVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 200 (view)

Strong Willed Women Posted: 11/14/2009 7:30:49 PM
I don't know--I bet most men think women who want to assert their way are too much trouble; it gets old arguing the minutia all the time. They probably, most of them, DO prefer a woman who lets them get their way most of the time. Who wouldn't want the path of least resistance? It's why we're all so picky, on paper. If I can have a choice between a smart funny man and smart unfunny man, I'll pick the funny one. If most men get the choice between a woman who calls them on their BS and a woman who keeps her mouth shut and doesn't express an opinion, most men will pick the latter.

CassaGo

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

When to tell a new prospect about the female best friend? Posted: 11/14/2009 1:48:51 PM
OP, I believe you are lying when you say you are "99% over her"--what I believe is that SHE is over YOU, so you have no choice. But I believe that if your "best friend" came to you tongiht and said, "I would like to try dating you" that you would dump everything/one for her. And I also believe most any woman will be able to tell. So my question to YOU is, why would you put yourself in that situation? Why don't you cool it with your female best friend? Don't bring a woman into your self-imposed drama, and expect HER to be ok with it.

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