Anyone ever try Singlesnet.com ? chat & forums.

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Thread: Anyone ever try Singlesnet.com ?

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Anyone ever try Singlesnet.com ? Posted: 1/4/2008 9:24:53 PM
A little. Some of the people there have memberships, so can e-mail them . . . . alas I've gotten no responses. Winks or flirts or whatever really isn't communicating, but is the limit w/o $$$$. What surprises me are those with profiles (and many profiles are lacking) that don't have hints or secondary ways to contact them. Just odd being on a subscription dating site, but not replying to e-mails (or sending any out) or not having a sub and no way to be contacted. Confuses me.

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Sex without being married and religious belief Posted: 1/4/2008 9:09:45 PM
As a Christian I've thought of this also. While not pulling out the bible and reading core scriptures knowing I may be in that situation in a few days . . . . there are other larger issues on the sin front compared to sex. One, serving in the military (killing in the name of the state), and two working in the casino industry (not a viable trade, similar to about 1/2 of gov't jobs). I agree with a few others posted. If the man and woman are consenting in a committed relationship (ideally moving towards marriage), then the physical act of love honors their love. However, just having sex with someone (like one night stands, prostitute, etc.) where it is mainly just intercourse (or other odd acts) to satisfy physical urges . . . . there is a difference.

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Meeting at your/his house on first date Posted: 12/21/2007 11:46:29 PM
The first "date" is actually a meeting to interact with the person behind the voice and typed words. Yeah, keep it public, noonish, and have a route out of there. Even for the first actual date (if the meeting went well), and second, there should be some public aspect. As for your place or mine? . . . . need to build that trust first.

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 96 (view)

Star Wars VS. Star Trek Posted: 12/14/2007 10:28:11 PM
revenstar66's Babylon 5 I agree. Star Wars had the "feel" of reality along with a deeper meaning (as in The Force). Alas it wasn't really expanded or had the treatment Star Trek had (TV series and movies). Star Trek had the complexity that its series allowed it (TOS, TNG, V, DS9) and something with Scott Bakula in it. But Babylon 5 had both, and a much deeper plot than either.

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Christmas is just a waste of resources ... ? Posted: 12/14/2007 10:18:58 PM
I like your style of thinking. Yeah, in the US it is a drawn-out time of commercilization and waste. All the holiday music, extra printing of sales flyers, all the little touches to get shoppers in there (more gas to truck in more made-in-China stuff). Then at home with outdoor lighting, the tree (real or artificial), its lights, extra stuff. Then the (real) tree is dumped on the curb in a few weeks. Nahh, just see it as a time to spend days with family and friends and to continue (or revise) family traditions.

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

To guys who are looking for long term Posted: 12/14/2007 9:48:50 PM
First, look at their profile as a "whole", does it seem consistent with seeking something long term. There may be a "no NSA, no FWB, want long term" but do you "sense" that in the words. Next, check their forum postings. This is how you can really sense the person behind the forum profile. However, it really takes messages and the substance in them, such as the pace, interactions, level of committment in communication. If in the beginning it turns toward sex or "u wanna see . . . ." crap then that certainly detracts from a long-term outlook. Oh, consider some compability tests PoF has (and found elsewhere). On another site, if the other didn't spend time to answer such questions it seemed they were not serious in what they were looking for.

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Looking for feedback on my profile Posted: 12/6/2007 1:08:08 PM
I like the picture of you in the blue shirt and tie, perhaps make that the main one? Vary the wording from all the "I wants" and such into more complete thoughts. More importantly, add some activities and such (my impression was boring). I am definitely not a "dating game" player. I am an idiot when it come to a dating game, and I have no interest in learning! Yeah, remove this or seriously reword it. Each approach is different to any "rules" or how to show interest. Jamie

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

ok I'll bite.... Posted: 12/6/2007 12:56:51 PM
The pictures are good, but you appear more athletic then thin. Perhaps talk about the profession you love so much. Hmm, more About me into paragraphs? The headline seems generic, but don't know much about those.

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

I can use some help here Posted: 12/6/2007 12:46:46 PM
Taking a quick look . . . . I like your pictures, very nice! Don't need to repeat the numbers in the body, such as height and desired age range, as they are in other parts of the profile (besides, some of yours contradict). Use a spell checker then re-order the sentences into paragraphs. Add in line breaks to give "breather" room. Change your age range. For 49 going on 50, you may want a age range of about 40 to 58. As I'm 40, I've found women 30 or younger rarely consider age 40 (and even then would be the max age). Also, open up your distance (or remove it) as you'll get more messages unless relocating is really out of the question. Consider removing the "Female" mail setting to open up replies from males with good advice or perhaps, "look at this profile" messages. I'd mention your smoking habit in the body. Stating "often" without considering changing may be a major turn-off to some. Separate your interests by a "," so they appear as separate clickable words. Jamie

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Norton disk doctor for the profile? Posted: 12/6/2007 12:34:02 PM
Okay, I know I'm photo challenged (in number and lens durability), but would like pointers about my profile. Oh, okay I need this to be 200 letters long. Okay, I'm thinking of some simple html like bold headings or something. Hmmm, hopefully that's enough letters. Thanks all. Jamie

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

What puts you to sleep???:zzzz: Posted: 12/3/2007 10:18:10 PM
Oh, a nice warm room and a boring meeting . . . . done that too many times. Hard to keep alert without being active during the table meeting (like notes). That and a few movies (never have kept awake during Little Shop of Horrors, Rick Moranis version). Oh. How can my forum stalkers stalk me... sorry stalkers... <--- Yeah, she went that a way

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Women with eHarmony experience Posted: 12/1/2007 11:09:30 PM
I wish I knew also. Since it takes two to communicate I ran into long periods of silence. Almost as if I have to keep the lines open. Sometimes it got to e-mails then silence. Except they closed the match (We are communicating outside of eH). Still don't understand that. Don't really matter, in the past. On the free trial weekend I put my e-mail in my replies and thought I'd see theirs. Negatory on that one. Really don't know.

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

when the fiance wants a break from sex until marraige Posted: 12/1/2007 10:18:40 PM
2 years is way too long to wait. There must be some reason not to make plans. It sounds like he is afraid of committment, but not of making excuses. Yes, this sounds more like a convenience, of a warm bed with something on the side (not sex), which he's getting someplace else (as others have said). Sounds like time for counseling or a sit down heart to heart, after you find out what he really wants (and if you are a part of it).

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 65 (view)

If I had thirty million dollars... Posted: 11/30/2007 10:25:05 PM
30 million is too much, so let's say just 3 million. Find a nice spot in Mexico, near the beach (or other low cost of living place) and start a small business (to help pass time, maybe import/export) as I relax and get in better shape with a trainer. Oh, and invite a single woman also looking to relocate . . . . just move the key stuff (and any kids) south. Course don't have either, but always good to dream.

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 168 (view)

Do you like taking Showers or baths with your lovers ? Posted: 11/29/2007 11:48:57 PM
Oh, yes . . . . ahh the memories of the first time. Still learning, so there was some fumbling, but the morning shower was a great time for cleaning. Hot tubs are good, and it was outside her parent's kitchen window, which made for an interesting "soak." Sadly, more recently, the shower was either too small (not tub shower) or, later, she said no, so I stopped asking (tub shower then). Perhaps it was more than just the water temperature (she liked it hot).

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Should you stay with someone you're not attracted to if you love who they are as a person? Posted: 11/29/2007 10:54:39 PM
It's more of a package deal, or should be. Over time, and effort, the physical side will change. Age just does that, but still there can be efforts to help that side of the relationship - healthy activities to get in shape, eating, some counseling, etc. The inside part, the romance, that inner beauty that lasts. I guess it's called love. Where the couple stay together when age takes its toll (such as Nancy and Ronald Reagan, but there are others). If there is a good, solid foundation to build upon, the attraction (at all levels) will grow and other areas will (or should) compensate for age or other factors. That or the current trend of easy divorces and lots of fishing (even as the relationship turns sour). I guess it's called loyalty and being there for the ups and downs.

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

question for jehovah's witness's Posted: 11/13/2007 10:41:53 PM
Aside from being the "opposite" the ornate style of other religious structures and to be separate from other churches, I think there is a more practical side. They are easier to build and to maintain. There are many examples of quickbuild Kingdom Halls and framing for windows certainly slows construction. Windows could also be seen as a distraction. Instead of focus at the meeting, your attention could drift outside. Another factor could be insurance. Solid doors and lack of windows makes it more secure. The bottom line could be money and priorities for spending donated funds - keep it simple. (Oh, I consider myself an unbaptized JW as I share many similar beliefs)

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

Need advice for a friend - Why turned off by a woman with kids? Posted: 11/8/2007 10:59:19 PM
Thank you spacecadet99 for your thoughful reply. I see much wisdom in the others, especially as it relates to the drama of the ex-husband (yes she is divorced, I should have stated that) and the amount of free time (as in activities with children which would impact quality dating time). Yes, as a mother first, she doesn't have much time. That is compounded with studies toward becoming a nurse. I've kidded with her that a "Mike Brady" may meet her, who would appreciate the trials, and juggling act, of being a single parent. She is still on good terms with the ex-husband, who does have custody a few days each month. While children are a factor, she already has the insight to bring them in later . . . . a hard but wise choice. And shortly after I made the opening post, I realized it should have been in Dating in Advice. Opps. I've given her the link and she's reading the replies. Again, thank you. Jamie

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Need advice for a friend - Why turned off by a woman with kids? Posted: 11/6/2007 8:12:43 PM
Okay, I have an IM friend in Arizona going on 31 (5'7" slender with lovely green eyes, non-smoker, social drinker). She is most thankful for her 3 children (ages 6 to 11) and is finishing her nursing studies, and planning to move near Phoenix. Her question - Will somebody please explain the thoughts behind guys that are turned off by a woman who has kids? (She's given up on dating sites, so this is why I'm posting this for her, so I hope it's okay)

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 121 (view)

Beware: eHarmony sucks... Posted: 10/30/2007 9:45:32 PM
I'm nearing the end of two 3 month runs . . . . out $ 120 for those 6 months. Net results: 1 match in Arizona I regularly IM . . . . but 1200 miles away 1 match in Florida . . . . occasional IM 1 match in north Oregon . . . . some contact (~2 calls/mt) 1 match in town . . . . e-mails but then silence 20 matches with some back and forths in Open Communication (as they didn't lead to the above). And 900 closed matches - mainly due to distance (even many in Oregon, go figure). And what real good is a match is the other person can't respond? (well except to get some $ub$cription for eH) The main part of the passive system is to get more paying members . . . . no pay, no play in their guided communication. However, they have free weekends maybe 4 times a year. Odd, though, they are highly rated which I why I had joined eH. I think the best use of pay sites is another avenue to search for others with similar interests, then seek a way to contact them outside of that site . . . . if they leave clues in their "About me" sections. And for your profile to have such clues. Oh, and True, truely sucks. Jamie

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Do guys really love to cuddle? Posted: 10/29/2007 9:09:21 PM
It all depends on the situation. I'd rather sit next to a woman while watching a movie, as in being with her, than sitting across the room and watching. It's another side of together time especially depending on the movie. Ahh, I enjoyed some episodes of Babylon 5 even if I had to watch them later. As another stated, i'd find it peaceful just being there if we both fell asleep then waking and listening to her breathing . . . . then reaching for the remote to turn off the movie and TV and closing my eyes. Jamie

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

What makes a 'date' a 'date' Posted: 10/27/2007 9:22:12 PM
I agree. The first meeting is just a meeting. As chemistry "builds" along with familiarity, then they become dates as the intentions drift toward a relationship. Or, most meetings are one time events. The second and third, etc. then they become dates. Jamie

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 44 (view)

Should I break up and is this considered cheating Posted: 10/25/2007 11:59:13 PM
So it takes 3 days for him to go from "take things slow" to "only (see) each other"? Wow, must be a record to measure insecurity . . . . or for a player. Let's take the benefit of the doubt. Are these chats with other women essentially, "let's be friends, I am committed to another" theme? The usual "How was your day?" types. These other profiles . . . . is he like a therapist or counselor and into offering good advice? Actions > words and for some reason he has his kids involved in the game. Find a tactful way, in words and actions, to discern how he sees you in his life to get back to that committment thing. He needs to separate himself from his past and to his, your, future. Another thing . . . . seems he is bored with you on some level. Find a way, or place, to talk about that. Sounds like he needs the counseling, not "offering" it on Yahoo! Jamie

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

I have definetly had sex w to many men Posted: 10/25/2007 10:34:03 PM
I'd be more concerned about that "friend" of yours. As for the man, sounds like you are in a good and mutually rewarding relationship. It sounds like the relationship is able to survive that "friend"s joke and his response, which is good. Another thought. He has a good sense of humor and replied with a joke also. Still, be watchful of that "friend." Jamie

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

Ok, what do guys think? Posted: 10/25/2007 10:27:19 PM
A few have mentioned this, but needs repeating. Add a small paragraph to your profile about your children and their importance. As many will not see that one-liner of "Yes" for children, it would do you well to add that paragraph. Some men will find children as a turn-off, so save yourself the time talking to those not wanting the "complete" package. Jamie

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

Hey guys...I need your help Posted: 10/25/2007 1:30:25 AM
Okay, Feb to Sep is a good 5 months of consistent contact, but am guessing a few things were not discussed near the end. At some point, the "hard" questions should be considered, and best with a webcam (body language) and phone (voice tone) . . . . getting at "what if"s about the meeting, long term plans of possible move, hopes and dreams, etc. A red flag is his resources - living with parents, not planning to save for his trip (mom buying plane ticket!). At some point someone needs to talk about relocating, a natural step toward building that long distance relationship. You mentioned moving, but what prevented him from moving (mom?). Also talk about job hunting. Another one is just how much info did he share with his mother. Seems too much, implying insecurity or certainly immaturity (as in needing mommy's advice). He did a 180 about looking forward to your visit then a few days away talking about the distance. Keep the communication open, as you've invested a lot in it on your side, while it looks like he considered it as "show and tell" to Mom. Try to discern what his intentions are. However it looks like you'll just be friends (until he grows up). Jamie

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

High sex-drive/Low sex-drive. Can it work in a relationship? Posted: 10/25/2007 12:12:15 AM
The drugs may be affecting her, but I agree with the others and some compromise must be reached. Explore the other aspects of intimacy, I'm sure there may be other areas she is interested in (to turn her on) yet to be discovered. However, you knew what her needs for intimacy were at the beginning, so if you mutually can't agree on a middle ground, then learn to control your cranky bull side or part ways. Jamie

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 61 (view)

he's just a sex partner..is that wrong? Posted: 10/22/2007 9:24:34 PM
I think I can understand the situation. It's not FWB but more of a convenience. We don't know the whole story, but I'm sure most can relate to the "arrangement" as that limbo period when a relationship cools before the two part (or in another way, a separated couple living together before the divorce . . . . convenience). It's an arrangement between two consenting adults fully aware of the situation. I've been in a similar situation, but for only a month and without the benefit of knowing my place in the non-emotional relationship. We all have needs, and it sounds like you are making the best you can. However, at some point you'll want the full "package" a relationship brings, when it comes your way, and thus this past is best left silent. Jamie

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Hot and Cold. Posted: 10/20/2007 10:20:36 PM
Well, aside from being treated as a piece of property . . . . ask him how much time will he need. Talk to him to discern how he feels about you, and more importantly, to continue the relationship. Going from 2 months and intimate to him hanging with friends is sending a bad message, especially from looking at your profile. Jamie

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Let's Hit Up! Posted: 10/20/2007 9:58:21 AM
I agree. Even if there is no picture, and there are many with no picture, there should be some exchange of information - interests, goals, etc. - before a meeting. Need to at "see" some aspect of the person behind the profile. However, if he wants to meet, he needs to get you a picture of himself to show the effort . . . . and just to recognize him at the public place. Jamie

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

Other Dating Sites/ Scams ? Posted: 10/20/2007 12:18:03 AM
Yup. Be wary of links with their hidden (or not so hidden) affiliate codes. I have a mate1 account and get those "Online Ambassador" messages. I look at their age and location and wonder . . . . wtf? But it makes sense - recipient subscribes = they get a commission. I use its search, and try to be creative in contacting any interesting members. As for True . . . . oh boy. The good side is they have free trials and when you call, tend to give an extra week. Aside from their pactice of charging for chat (not free as it says) and profile coaching . . . . need to call to cancel (and thus a sales pitch). The members tend to have incomplete profiles (barely any content). I like its compatibility test. The sum of 5 weeks was a short exchange with a woman in NJ. eHarmony . . . . ending 6 months of that as it is rather passive. I have to think there are matches still on the "back burner" until they send a match notice. At least you can cancel online, after a drawn-out process . Now Yahoo! Personals sounds promising, just because of . . . . well Y! So far, though, I like PoF and other sites for meeting others. Jamie

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 34 (view)

he keeps coming back Posted: 10/18/2007 11:49:50 PM
This sounds rather complex. While you are looking out for your needs along with his (and his kids), he is on some roller coaster ride. I agree with the others, sit him down and find out what is going on. Perhaps he is having issues with his ex (or the kids' mother) or maybe within his family. As actions speak louder than words, set a timeframe then go on from there. Hopefully he sees what a "catch" you truely are and settles down. Jamie

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

is this chemistry or something else ? Posted: 10/18/2007 12:53:12 PM
Sounds like things are going well, and good for you. Now to try different situations . . . . what does she like to do, and you? Is that "warmth" there as each meets the other's family (if that is important), at social events, etc. There will be differences, the chemistry you have should adapt to that in a good way for the relationship to thrive. Jamie

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 79 (view)

Do you think it is possible to honestly fall for someone before you meet them? Posted: 10/18/2007 12:46:09 PM
A lot of good advice here. It seems more of a projection and infatuation, where a person could "act" through the typed and even spoken word. It really comes down to time to see if the reality matches that projection, as in physical time during dates to see the body language and the total person. Like I've done with past internet/distance relationships, try to step up the communication with phone time (try to hear the thoughts behind the words) and a webcam (body language). We even roleplayed a bit, but I don't recommend that as that is more projected and still fantasy. But it can happen, when things really "click." So can winning the lottery and the jackpot at a casino. Just be careful and explore those areas you have a "so so" feeling on, as you may discern inconsistencies. Do plan to meet though. Jamie

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Does He have a slow death wish? Posted: 10/18/2007 12:18:56 PM
so all of a sudden He starts to SMOKE.... and GETS pissed when reminded he shouldn't be eating sweets He made a big deal about introducing his kids on the second date . . . . They seemed used to women being paraded through there lives.... Smoking also? He needs some counseling, and that is what you should suggest, perhaps some support group, but how to do that . . . . should be more for his immediate family to help with (siblings and parents). However, if he cannot or won't care for himself, nor his kids, how can he for you?

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Why didn't you respond to my profile? Posted: 10/17/2007 10:55:31 PM
Actually, several emails saying: you viewed my profile why didn't you write? They should be asking themselves why they didn't take the effort to send the first message, and with some sort of content. Sitting back and clicking that "Who's seen my profile" is hardly interactive. Jamie

gummycola

Joined: 10/10/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

What is it with casinos? Posted: 10/17/2007 8:36:16 PM
I agree. Casinos make their money from the slots as the house always wins (in the long run as over time the odds are against the gambler). So I'd go for the reasonable food (buffets) and entertainment. However, the smart people that actually make a living and know the odds and rules, do so at the poker tables, and blackjack. Also baccaret. It just takes a bankroll and discipline, knowing some days will be better than others. They also earn the comps for food, perhaps a room, even for transportation out there. It can be a different lifestyle for those the play the casinos, but I agree as I don't see how people can just sit there and play the one-armed slot bandits. Jamie

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