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Author
Thread: How to rekindle his interest? Is he worth it?
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
10 (
view
)
How to rekindle his interest? Is he worth it?
Posted:
8/7/2009 11:07:20 PM
I think I was right. The thing is HE doesn't know you wouldn't drop him like an ugly baby. He's not even thinking about YOUR reaction probably, what he can't live with is himself. There's other men out there hun, you should go find one. I mean strictly speaking, if you date enough men the ODDS say you'll find a good one eventually. I mean there really are a lot of good guys around. You just have to find them. Trial and error, its the only way to find love. ^_^
Well I'm off to bed deary. Hope you figure it out. Ciao.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
8 (
view
)
How to rekindle his interest? Is he worth it?
Posted:
8/7/2009 10:49:11 PM
Or he's a virgin and was just going after what he wanted. Or just REALLY inexperienced. Sounds like a fumbled effort to get into your pants actually and the reason he is now blowing you off because he embarassed himself and can't handle the shame. He doesnt want to meet you again because HE would feel like more of a tool. Now that I think about it, thats about exactly what it sounds like. Hmmmm, wow. Case solved.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
5 (
view
)
How to rekindle his interest? Is he worth it?
Posted:
8/7/2009 10:40:51 PM
Well hun... men pretty much assume ALL women are teases, so no worries there. If he just lost weight then you can BET he knows it. If he wasn't hot before then Explanation #3 just got a HELL of a lot more likely. God I'm good.
Not all players are smooth. Some (like myself) prefer to be subtle and insidious (its more fun. ^_^)
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
16 (
view
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Living with a guy from POF
Posted:
8/7/2009 10:35:22 PM
Men tend to ignore unpleasant facts. Its a survival technique. ^_^ He probably didn't equate you're wanting to be married again to HIM marrying you. Those are two seperate routes in a mans brain. Trust me... I took a psychology class. ^_^
P.S. - Try corporal punishment, it works on kids AND pets. There's gotta be something to it.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
3 (
view
)
How to rekindle his interest? Is he worth it?
Posted:
8/7/2009 10:28:26 PM
I met him through work and I know that he liked me right away because he was always looking at me at every chance he got and smiling at me.
A common misconception. He just wanted to do you.
He didn't appear to be a player, more like a nerd, although I cant quite believe that cos he is very good looking.
If he's very good looking, then 99% chance of him being a player... >_>
We chatted a couple times and I had a lot of admiration for him when I found about his hectic job and liked that he tries to live healthily. He also emphasized the words 'EX girlfriend' in one conversation. He liked asking me about my plans, what I was doing, what I was reading etc.
Wow this guy is hardcore. I get the "hectic job" and "living healthy" lines. Always effective. Oh and the girlfriend thing. He must be one of those guys who thinks mentioning an ex gf means he sending the "SOME woman wanted me, I'm desirable" message. Not a bad way to go since its a valid strategy when dealing with vapid women(Not saying you're vapid). But to actually pretend to pay an interest? Only the reallly sporting ones go that far. Impressive.
...though honestly I was kind of taken aback that he would be so open about something like that on a first date...
... REALLY? -_-
...and he asked if i wanted to kiss that night...
NICE. Hahahaha.
what the hell does that mean, as in, OK THEN ITS OVER or OK.. I GET IT
Maybe you should word your stinging retorts more carefully in the future... But to answer your question. It probably means the second one IMMEDIATELY proceeded by the first one.
(if he really is the guy I think and feel he is = not a player)
... you're a bad guesser huh?
Now I am just afraid I might have blew any chance of this due to my thinking too much about rules and being proper, and not going with the flow.
Don't go there hun. Never let anyone make you feel bad for not putting out. It's unnattractive, like bushy eyebrows and the like...
Any help to enlighten me would be greatly appreciated.
Ok putting aside my previous comments (made mostly for my own amusement) I'll help you out. We have three possibilities here.
1. The most likely explanation? HE WANTED TO GET SOME. End of story.
2. Moderately likely explanation? Emotionally Overenthusiastic Wannabe Poet Syndrome. Quite common these days. He takes his relationships the way he takes his theatre... dramatically. He probably had a WHOLE scenario (at least 10 years long) planned out with you. Probably something fairly creepy, and when it didnt even come close to going the way he thought it would, he got upset and decided it would be MORE dramatic and attention grabbing if he acted like a prissy manchild.
3. Least likely explanation? He's a virgin. I really don't want to explain this one. Message me if you want one though.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
21 (
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What would you appreciate more guys?
Posted:
8/7/2009 10:10:43 PM
RE: First post.
LIE. If he completely misread THAT situation... well the guy is seriously gullible. Think up the most comforting lie you can think of and feed it to him. Maybe something hokey like "You're heart is just too big, you love too hard. She doesn't know what shes doing. But I get you my friend. Someone gets you. So no worries... lets go get smashed."
That'd work on me if I ever got emotional. ^_^
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
11 (
view
)
Living with a guy from POF
Posted:
8/7/2009 10:07:13 PM
RE: First post.
I think your capacity for love nears ridiculous levels. If all that is true... how can you love him? I don't get it. He has a sweet life right now it sounds like, why would he complicate it and spend of ton of money if he didn't have to?
So in answer to your question, given the type of guy you just described, ya he probably feels pressured. Are you justified in doing so? Kinda.
The last possibility is that maybe YOU are ready to take it to the next level, but he obviously isn't. People have issues. He probably has some.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
11 (
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Moved away.
Posted:
8/7/2009 10:03:40 PM
RE: First post.
Short answer? For women... yes. For men... unlikely but possible. Most men don't get emotionally invested that quickly. Or maybe he just wants a webcam buddy...
The question is... why would you WANT a long distance relationship with someone you hardly know? Plenty of fish (couldn't resist) in the sea and all that.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
2 (
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When a man marries because his partner got pregnant does he ever trust her?
Posted:
8/19/2008 7:37:27 PM
RE: First post.
I think anyone who thinks they're "safe" without taking the maximum precaution is pretty naive and uninformed. If you're going to have sex with someone sans condom... there's ALWAYS a chance of pregnancy(not to say there's no chance when wearing a condom but the only way that's happening is through breakage or some other unlikely occurence). So suffice it to say... even if a woman deliberately got pregnant... its not all on her.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
58 (
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HELP HELP HELP!
Posted:
8/19/2008 7:32:45 PM
RE: First post.
Well... if you really want to work this out. You're going to have to change your thinking a bit. You sound defensive.
<quote>he thinks i cheated on him.. i dont think i did.. there was no feelings.. no hornyness.. no nothing... it was just a measly kiss... well to me.. obviously not to him</quote>
Fact is, you did cheat on him. Look at it from his perspective. He probably believes you that is was nothing, just a measely kiss, no feeling, no hornyness... but what does that say about you? That for something so meaningless you totally disregarded any feeling you had for him? Even if just for a moment? See that's what he's dwelling on. He might have been thinking you loved him. Now he's thinking maybe we aren't as close as I thought we were. Which is what is REALLY upsetting him. So this tells us two things. One, he really cares about you, so there's a good chance to salvage this. Two, you're guilty. Don't pretend otherwise or it'll just be like twisting the knife.
As for salvaging this situation... wow. Wish I could help there but generally when something like this happens to me... I cut my losses and walk away... RIGHT away. Sorry, hopefully my insight into how he's feeling will help you out though. Good luck hun.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
262 (
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Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted:
8/19/2008 7:26:29 PM
RE: First post.
Easy. Number one reason, by a WIDE margin, is clinginess. Women who before we even meet call me their boyfriend. Or basically just start acting in manner that implies intimacy where none exists... that's MUY freaky my friends. I run from those women.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
88 (
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Parents who live with you, is it a turn off?
Posted:
8/19/2008 7:21:38 PM
RE: First post.
Ya it sucks. I just had to move back home because I'm going back to school. Can't afford it otherwise. lol So I haven't even been looking for a girl. I'd feel too pathetic. As for your question... well... I dunno. If someone says "You live with your parents!?" and then you go "No no, my parents live with ME."... it sounds kind of iffy hahahaha. I think you'd still enjoy dud status.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
35 (
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Does anyone ever get turned on reading the Sex & Dating Threads??
Posted:
8/5/2008 9:03:29 PM
RE: First post.
Ya hun, you aren't the only one for sure. It's just not polite though so I never said anything. ^_^ But hey if you're going to admit I might as well too. I just read one where women were describing various types of orgasms they have. I mean come on... I'm not a machine.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
45 (
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do you like to test drive a girl?
Posted:
8/5/2008 8:52:17 PM
RE: First post.
Totally agree. Sex is an important part of a relationship (no matter what the loonies out their say to make themselves feel better). I'd prefer to see if with click in bed beforehand. Unfortunately I'm not quite as... rude as this fellow so I just take my chances.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
10 (
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)
Why must there be this corncobb up my butt?
Posted:
8/5/2008 8:48:36 PM
RE: First post.
Every woman likes to think she's a Lady. As a Lady he impinged upon your honor. Hence it not "sitting well" with you. Also... that remark he made is sexist on several levels. Oh... and the guy might be into S&M. ALSO... how do you "kick ass" in a staff meeting. I'm very curious. ^_^
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
14 (
view
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How can a woman demonstrate a respect of privacy...
Posted:
8/5/2008 8:42:42 PM
RE: First post.
ELIMINATE this reflex. Because... there is just NO WAY to not come off sounding disinterested... eventually anyways. Just tell him, straight out, the next time he gives you that reflexive invite. "You don't have to invite me to anything hun, only if you want me there. Ok?" and give him a huge sexy smile. If he says "I really do want you to come." then just go girl. Just go. Even if its still a reflex. At least now he knows how its working exactly. If he still chooses to invite you then I'd just take that as a huge compliment. ^_^
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
9 (
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Young + Older vs. Older+ Younger
Posted:
8/5/2008 8:37:27 PM
RE: First post.
lol Ummm... well... it's not as clear cut as you make it sound. Depends on our mood really. I could go for a young girl, which is nice for the obvious reasons but after awhile their sheer naivete, ignorance and just downright YOUNGNESS... bugs you. lol That's when I usually look for an older woman. Generally a little better grounded. I mean... they still have their "games" but these are more subtle and... adult. So that's kinda nice.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
61 (
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overweight women
Posted:
8/3/2008 10:30:43 PM
Your screen name seems surprisingly apt now...
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
1230 (
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Why are older women not into younger guys???
Posted:
8/3/2008 10:27:44 PM
^^^ That is quite possibly the funniest thing I've read all night... thank you.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
27 (
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My Experience
Posted:
8/3/2008 10:27:05 PM
RE: First post.
No basically what he meant is that you're super clingy. ^_^
And whats with these red flags again! I NEVER see these red flags, where the hell are they!
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
2 (
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in the pink and in the stink.. does this really work for you?
Posted:
8/3/2008 10:22:04 PM
No... women HATE it when you play with two erogenous zones at once. I mean DUH, who would like that right? -_-
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
228 (
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Ready, Set, Cum!
Posted:
8/3/2008 10:21:16 PM
Kit.... I like you so much more now.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
29 (
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Cheaters
Posted:
8/3/2008 9:50:39 PM
RE: First post.
Ya lots of women and men. Its not a gender thing, its a species thing.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
136 (
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is hairloss a turnoff?
Posted:
8/3/2008 9:49:31 PM
RE: First post.
No. It's a turn on. -_- Seriously?
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
1227 (
view
)
Why are older women not into younger guys???
Posted:
8/3/2008 9:48:58 PM
RE: First post.
I know many older women who are into younger MEN... maybe you don't come across as... ahem... full grown? lol
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
43 (
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So he shows me his sniper rifle in the truck of his mercedes?
Posted:
8/3/2008 9:47:49 PM
What do red flags mean? Like... on his car antenna you mean? Or like... one of those ones you put on your dash? I'm confused. ^_^
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
803 (
view
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Favorites List?????
Posted:
8/3/2008 9:46:13 PM
Ya I do. Maybe they just like my posting, that's what I usually figure.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
159 (
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My embarressing oral question
Posted:
8/3/2008 9:44:20 PM
RE: First post....
It's not like he's going to bite you... hard anyways... it's not like you're letting an angry wolf loose on your muff.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
225 (
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Ready, Set, Cum!
Posted:
8/3/2008 9:43:15 PM
RE: First post...
Wait wait... circle jerks are REAL!? I thought that was just a joke... DIS...turbing.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
24 (
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frigid people
Posted:
8/3/2008 9:40:53 PM
RE: First post.
Space heater, woolen blankets, fireball etc. ^_^
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
62 (
view
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Women making overt moves to initiate sex
Posted:
8/3/2008 9:37:37 PM
RE: First post.
Tell me you're kidding... really? REALLY man? Hahahahaha.
P.S. You didn't use the search word "sister" to find that... did you?
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
621 (
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How would you feel about a WOMAN with a GUN?
Posted:
8/3/2008 9:06:49 PM
Right away. Good lord think of men as some kind of non-reactive chemical or what not... women are like... nitroglycerin ok? Would you give something that unstable such a dangerous weapon. ^_^ Id like to know beforehand so I don't... like... tell her I dont like her shoes then have her shoot me in the ass.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
47 (
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Guys, do you want to date or not?
Posted:
8/3/2008 9:03:34 PM
Well you have to. They always overprice. ^_^
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
65 (
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Why Must You talk about Sex.
Posted:
8/3/2008 9:01:04 PM
RE: First post.
Some guys are just idiots. ^_^ (Most.)
I like to make subtle sexually oriented jokes. Nothing offensive or blunt. Always gotten good results there. ^_^
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
56 (
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Gut feelings??? Men, help!!!!
Posted:
8/3/2008 8:57:32 PM
RE: First post.
No offense but you're looking at this from the wrong angle. It has nothing to do with what HE is feeling. Its YOU who developes this expectation. For whatever reason, maybe you just REALLY need to believe someones into you. Maybe you had a bad day. Maybe you're feeling lonely. Maybe he's so good looking you just expect to live happily ever after. Most likely scenarios are:
1. You REALLY suck at reading people, or just signals from the opposite sex.
2. You subconsciously misinterpreted his signals for one of the aforementioned reasons.
^_^
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
278 (
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So, I met this guy and he looked NOTHING like his pic!!
Posted:
8/3/2008 8:51:06 PM
RE: First post.
Women do that to me all the time... they call it "makeup". Tch.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
7 (
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Reputations
Posted:
8/3/2008 8:49:30 PM
RE: First post.
The people who's opinions I respect I can count on one hand. With 4 extra fingers to spare. ^_^ So I don't really care what other people think. I trust my own judgement, hasnt failed me since highschool. ^_^
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
40 (
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So he shows me his sniper rifle in the truck of his mercedes?
Posted:
8/3/2008 8:47:01 PM
RE: First post.
That takes social retardation to just a whole new level even factoring in cultural differences... he's definitely special.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
203 (
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why are there so many men without photos..........
Posted:
8/3/2008 8:44:55 PM
Men without photos are generally hideous or getting ready to lie to you for whatever reason. That simple. ^_^ (I'm sure there are exceptions though.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
65 (
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Girl cancelling Saturday night date at last minute (is sick)
Posted:
8/3/2008 8:43:24 PM
RE: First post.
First thought. You're paranoid. ^_^
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
131 (
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Do you see divorced people as damaged goods?
Posted:
8/3/2008 8:39:23 PM
Mind if I misconstrue that comment?
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
4 (
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Need advice! What to do :)
Posted:
8/3/2008 8:37:44 PM
RE: First post.
Have you heard that old tale about the fish and the bird that fell in love? Look it up. ^_^ You're two different creatures hun, stop trying to breathe water.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
53 (
view
)
what do guys think is the worse thing a guy can do?
Posted:
8/3/2008 8:33:13 PM
RE: First post.
I've seen my friends do this time and time again. They get clingy like... FROM THE GET GO. Like... if they call their brand new girl and she doesn't call them back within 20 minutes... they leave her 40 messages within 2 hours. It's ridiculous. I can't imagine a woman appreciating this. I can't believe anyone WOULD do this. I see it constantly. One call and you're covered. That's it. It's her phone OK! SHES GUNNA GET THE MESSAGE! TAKE A FREAKIN' DOWNER!.... Jesus... >_>
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
44 (
view
)
Guys, do you want to date or not?
Posted:
8/3/2008 8:29:46 PM
^^^^ Logical. ^_^
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
19 (
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More college educated women than men
Posted:
8/3/2008 8:29:01 PM
^^^^ Well said.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
30 (
view
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Wealthy Man, Poor Woman
Posted:
8/3/2008 8:28:06 PM
RE: First post.
I've gotta believe it can work. I'll never be rich otherwise. ^_^
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
83 (
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15 minute meeting
Posted:
8/3/2008 8:26:26 PM
RE: First post.
There's a physical presence to people, something you can tell right away. Whether consciously or not many men realize this. Hence the quick meet and greet. If you don't like them in person then you don't have to spend the time a date requires pretending you do. If you do like them... then you can just go on a date.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
17 (
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More college educated women than men
Posted:
8/3/2008 8:22:22 PM
I didn't mean the jobs were easier... just the education. Learning something that only requires the use of your brain is easy in my opinion. That's all I meant.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
92 (
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Does sex get better after you hit 40?
Posted:
8/3/2008 8:18:49 PM
RE: Topic.
God I hope not, I'd never survive.
Ignoble
Joined:
10/11/2007
Msg:
203 (
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When is it ok to show cleavage
Posted:
8/3/2008 8:16:17 PM
RE: First post.
I'll be crude and to the point. It depends how nice your breasts are. Wait... scratch that... the answer is that its ALWAYS ok. ^_^
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