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madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

I need advice on a weird situation Posted: 6/9/2009 4:56:57 AM
You're being used. She knows the second that you find a girl for yourself, the money train is going to grind to a halt, as well as all the places you take her and pay for. She already has two kids and two more on the way. For the love of all that is holy, wake up and run like hell.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

True love Posted: 6/9/2009 4:48:35 AM
In my life, I had one man - one - that I felt what I consider "TRUE" love for. The one with whom my experiences eclipsed all others. It wasn't because he was anything out of the ordinary. It was just because I loved him with all my heart and soul. Losing him was the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life. It's 13 years later now. It has faded to the back of my mind - but if I stop to think about him for more than about thirty seconds, I can feel the butterflies. Not because of what is, but because of what was. It took me a good five years to come to peace with it. Five long, wasted years. Oh, it was romantic and tragic and painful, and wasn't I a purist for staying true to the feeling? Hadn't I proved that I would never stop loving him, as I'd once whispered in his ears? I was faithful, I was a saint. I was in pain, and wasn't dealing with it. Don't waste your life. I think they always have some part of your soul. Rise up and overcome.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Can guys talk about past wrong doings? Posted: 6/9/2009 4:41:45 AM
I couldn't read it through. I kept going, "huh?" Then again, perhaps I have become hardened against romantic-al, word game bullshit. Just say in plain english what you mean and stop beating around the bush trying to look impressive on paper. I say this as a woman who is exceptionally good at writing, so I know what I'm looking at when I see it.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

meeting women Posted: 6/9/2009 4:32:51 AM
At least we know you have a car and a job. \o/

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Is alpha-male really a trait women are attracted to? Posted: 6/9/2009 4:28:06 AM
I'm not really sure what a PUA is. I can tell you that a man who is arrogant (in a d'kish way) is exceptionally unattractive. Power under control, confidence - a good nature to others - and the general attitude of not needing you - but maybe if you try a little, I'll come to have some interest in you - this is the attitude which attracts women without fail. The man you describe above is an ass I wouldn't give the time of day to. Good luck to you.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Am I getting played ? Posted: 5/21/2009 10:27:59 AM
Yes. You're being played.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Can It Be Love At First Site. Posted: 5/20/2009 11:56:43 AM
He'll ditch you right after you bang him. If you do. Don't.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Is it possible to be too verbose? Posted: 5/20/2009 11:37:54 AM
Darlin - it's probably the mean looking scowl on your face in your pictures. You might want to post one of you smiling - you are an attractive man, but many women (including myself) pass over men who don't smile in their pics.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Not good with holidays... Posted: 5/20/2009 11:35:47 AM
Little bit high maintenance, isn't she? Dang, Timwild - your presents aren't good enough. Maybe you aren't either (for her).

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Physically ill at the thought.. Posted: 5/15/2009 4:29:20 AM
I'm not seeking my father's approval. I'm living in my own place - but it's on the back of my father's property. When I came here (yes, to take care of them), my father was VERY clear with me that no overnight visitors would be permitted on his property without his prior approval. It is his home and he has a right to lay down the law. I come and go as I please, and they never question me as to where I have been or what I have done. At a Christmas party last year, I didn't come home til the next morning, and my dad commented vaguely on it; I said, I had a bit too much and thought it would be safer to drive home the next morning. Both my parents were like, oh, ok! So - it's not your typical sort of interaction. I've lived on my own since I was 19, so I definitely am not seeking his approval. And to answer the other question - yes I have social phobias about crowds. I can take small groups of people, but things like amusement parks, wal-mart - they freak me out. My longest term relationship has been about 9 months. I've never lived with a man (my own personal choice there - cow/milk philosophy). I usually end 85% of relationships myself due to incompatibility issues. Lest it be thought that I'm picky - I care extremely little what a man looks like or his age (within about 10-15 years either way) - I've dated EVERY kind of man you can possibly imagine. It's the personality, character and integrity I'm looking for. Do you flip burgers? Fine - just make sure you can HOLD DOWN a job of some kind. Missing your hair and a leg? Fine. Dress like a hood rat? Fine - just make sure you're clean. Soap is cheap. After several years on this site, I've come to the conclusion that the vast majority of men are here for the easy sex. Sorry - I'm just not going to go there. If it makes me unpopular, I don't care.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Physically ill at the thought.. Posted: 5/14/2009 5:01:43 AM
A sitter of some kind once in a while? Why does it have to be a sister. A brother can't handle the responsibility? This is where alot of you women mess up with men. You automatically assume we can't do anything. That is where you move in and try to control and munipulate our lives. That is where we run, screaming. And then you sit there crying, wondering why he left. Darlin - she said siTTer - not sister.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Physically ill at the thought.. Posted: 5/14/2009 4:34:57 AM
Mnn. Hard to say exactly. It's more of a wash of sick feeling emotion. I've sat here in front of the screen awhile contemplating your question. It feels like a job, sorting through profiles, either which have seen me or haven't. I tense up each time I open one, and I think it is with a certain level of despair, that I'll be able to find someone with some measure of moral fiber -and- that might be attracted to me enough to wait. Like most people on POF, I find a lot of people who are interested in me, but not me them - or vice versa. My parents don't require a sitter - but they call me multiple times a day for this or that, lifting things, this project or the other they need done and can't complete without assistance, financial help, etc. etc. There's no way I can take someone back to my place - my dad is a retired Baptist preacher and he would "frown upon" gentlemen callers. I force myself to go on, because frankly, at 37, my time is running out if I'm going to find someone who wants to have kids. I don't necessarily "have" to have kids - but it is something I think, as a woman, I feel a personal desire for. I guess I don't want to miss out on what might be my last chance, and that I should at least tough it out and try this til I'm 40 before I stop. I don't want to risk a child after 40 due to the complications and genetic issues.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Physically ill at the thought.. Posted: 5/13/2009 12:40:03 PM
Thank you everyone for the feedback. I think you're right. I need a break. At least from the profile and stuff.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Physically ill at the thought.. Posted: 5/13/2009 11:09:24 AM
Background info: I'm an intelligent, articulate woman, well liked by those who know me (generally!), funny, smart, etc., etc. At 37, I've never married, and have no children; my baggage is minimal. Some people even consider me attractive. I date almost exclusively from online sites. This may be because I am taking care of my parents (separate homes on the same property) and I don't go to bars or clubs. Hence my social life is pretty sad. The problem is, often when I'm clicking through, my stomach just feels literally sick. I'll be looking at a wall of pictures of men who've viewed me, and I tense up. I'd say I find a majority of men attractive - that's not the issue. I think I do really well in face to face meet ups, overall, as well. Is my body trying to tell me it's time to take another few years off of dating? Or should I push through it? Does this happen to anyone else?

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

she wants a break Posted: 5/13/2009 10:54:45 AM
"Let's take a break" = "I'm too chicken to tell you to your face that I don't want to see you anymore, so I'm going to let you down easy," AND/OR "How about hanging around on the back burner while I make sure there's not someone else out there I'm going to like better." NOTE: There are exceptions to every rule. But not often. And definitely not as often as some would like to think.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Tattoo question Posted: 5/13/2009 10:50:28 AM
Sorry - who's body was it again? The only time I tried to talk someone out of a tat, was when a good friend of mine decided to have a "666" barcode placed on the nape of his neck. Stoopid. He did it anyway. =P

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

What to do when your maximum potential isn't cutting it? Posted: 5/13/2009 10:48:31 AM
I'd keep trying, because you're guaranteed a 100% fail rate if you quit. As long as you're breathing, there's hope that just maybe, the right person is still out there. Maybe looking for -you-. If that doesn't work, try lowering your standards.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

what do i do if its true? is it? Posted: 5/12/2009 8:12:25 AM
All I can say is, better have a blood test, because it sounds like she deliberately trapped you.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

do many girls enjoy tickling Posted: 5/12/2009 8:10:52 AM
While I enjoy tickling others, attempts to tickle me are met with biting, clawing, kicking, scratching, screaming, and other unpleasant events that all scream "NO!". Why? Because I can't breathe, and asphyxiation is NOT my prime choice of death.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

How should I take this? Posted: 5/12/2009 8:07:51 AM
My gut reaction t0 this is, she is tired of waiting for you to make a move. Hence, why it wasn't "that much fun". For me, the text she sent you afterwards cinches the deal - leaving the path open for innuendo and flirtation. I suggest you make a move. But this is just one perspective.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

you deserve better= bullshit... Convince me otherwise Posted: 5/11/2009 10:23:35 AM
What a shame. Your profile is great. :)

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

restoring yourself Posted: 5/11/2009 10:21:02 AM
You recover, because it was never about you. It's about him, and his major FAIL as a human being.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Long Love Gone forever. Posted: 5/11/2009 10:14:09 AM
Darlin', she's still a girl. She's growing up and trying her wings. Sorry you got caught in the middle.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

good, bad or just awful?? Posted: 5/11/2009 10:08:55 AM
I'm not sure what to think of you. Your pictures are fine. Your post could use some grammar and punctuation. I'd delete this line: !!!!!! if you msg me and i dont replay its dose'nt meen ur ugly or i dont like you its just sometimes i cant be arssed!!!! im a lazy sod sometimes ;) so dont take it 2 heart im sure your lovely xxxxxx And why? Because it makes girls feel like, well dang, if he can't be bothered, neither can I.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Am I doing something wrong? Posted: 5/11/2009 10:07:05 AM
Not that I can tell. I liked your profile.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Need a couple of dimes Posted: 5/11/2009 10:05:08 AM
I'm afraid I have no advice for you. Your profile looks perfect to me. :)

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Confused relationship ending?????? Posted: 5/11/2009 10:01:22 AM
Why is he the one with all the power here? Don't fall into the mindset that you have to let him call the shots! If you need to end it because he can't commit, then end it. If you let this yahoo have his way, you'll be kept dangling on the hook forever.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

I can't take this anymore... Posted: 5/8/2009 7:46:02 AM
Go for it if you can't stand living without her, and are willing to sacrifice your friendship in order to have her. Otherwise - steer clear. Which one is more important to you?

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 516 (view)

Thirty and not married Posted: 5/8/2009 7:41:15 AM
37, never married, no kids. Funny thing is, that's all I really wanted from life a husband and kids). Never wanted to take the career path. But at 37, I find that, contrary to public/societal belief, I am still alive, kicking, and gasp even HAPPY.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

What do you think of this? Posted: 5/8/2009 7:37:48 AM
I don't like strangers touching me either. It creeps me out.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Do you want to see my eyes? Posted: 5/8/2009 7:22:20 AM
Don't have much staying power, do you?

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

A male question for women Posted: 5/8/2009 7:18:24 AM
No, we don't. Unless they're on OUR body. Then we obsess over them. Sometimes. When the mood strikes us. :)

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Getting strange replies - any recommendations? Posted: 5/8/2009 4:27:47 AM
Ok, a couple of things stand out to me. First - your profile is, overall, awesomeness. Including pictures. Your difficulty may lie in the fact that you tell us many things about yourself, but not one word of the type of female you're looking for. Therefore, all types of females that fit within your moderately strict guideline of "who may contact me" filters below will be sending you messages. Try posting two to four sentences in your "About me" section that tells what kind of female you're most attracted to. This should help tremendously. :)

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Yeah I'm due for one... Posted: 5/8/2009 4:20:24 AM
I know. But years ago, when I was creating my first online account, Mademoiselle was taken. Hence it became madamoisele, and when that's taken where I go, I tack a 1 on the end. :)

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Time Out Posted: 5/7/2009 12:16:05 PM
That was magnificent.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

Guy who turned down woman twice now wants her... again. Posted: 5/7/2009 11:38:30 AM
I think your friend is an ass. I hope she shoots him down.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Scars? Posted: 5/7/2009 11:31:33 AM
I have a scar on my face, below my lip - sometimes it takes a year for someone to notice I have it. I have a HUGE scar on my abdomen from emergency surgery some years back. I don't even think about it. Scars are only an issue if you make it one, which will translate over as insecurity. Don't make it one. :)

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Is this true among women? Posted: 5/7/2009 8:00:11 AM
It's absolutely true. And frankly, unless exceptional circumstances are involved, it's a complete betrayal of the friendship to do so.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

would appreciate your feedback.. Posted: 5/6/2009 10:49:46 AM
Add pictures or you won't get hardly any responses. :) Many of us assume if there's no picture, then the person is married and/or hiding from their significant other.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

ladies lend a guy a hand... please? Posted: 5/6/2009 10:48:09 AM
I agree with the second poster. Your profile scares the crap out of me, too.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Am I on the right track? Posted: 5/6/2009 10:17:04 AM
Your profile is fantastic. I'm rarely attracted to black men, but I took a double take with your excellent post and fantastic, smiling pictures! To me, that's the mark of a successful profile.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Yeah I'm due for one... Posted: 5/6/2009 10:14:06 AM
Like - wow. I absolutely loved your profile.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Viewed but no replies Posted: 5/6/2009 10:13:01 AM
There is something wrong with your pic - you're obviously a very handsome man - but you aren't smiling! Things like that make women overlook you. It doesn't matter if it's fair or not - it's the reality of the situation. The same exact picture, with you smiling, would have better results.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Yes, please review our profile too! Posted: 5/6/2009 10:11:14 AM
What I found funny was the "Christian Singles" dating ad that popped up next to your picture. Irony at it's best.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

possible for a non single guy to be on here/// Posted: 5/6/2009 10:07:17 AM
He's lying to you. Trust your gut.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

How would you take this? Posted: 5/6/2009 9:58:56 AM
He's just one fish in a huge sea. He's been open, up front and honest. Let it lie.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

What do I do Now? Posted: 5/6/2009 9:54:58 AM
Everytime you see him, imagine his girlfriend standing right next to him. When you start to think about him, immediately, INSTANTLY, throw up an image of a HUGE Stop sign in your head, so big that it blots out any other thoughts, and then force your mind to think on something else. And don't say you can't do it - it takes some practice, but I'm surprised how well it works when you actually implement it.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Review my profile and tell me what is wrong. Posted: 5/6/2009 8:34:28 AM
Remove the fourth picture. You aren't smiling, and frankly, I thought you looked almost mean in it. Other than that (I've come on the "after revision" side of your post) - looks fantastic!

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

profile review PLEASE!!!! Posted: 5/6/2009 8:32:36 AM
Your profile was short, sweet, and to the point. This works for you - I'm not sure why. My only critique - post a clearer picture of yourself, and a closer face shot where you're smiling, if at all possible. Good luck to you.

madamoisele1

Joined: 10/12/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Help - Review my profile Posted: 5/6/2009 8:31:07 AM
Use your fourth picture first - you're smiling in that one, and it makes you look happy and attractive. Remove pictures where you aren't smiling. Your profile is littered with "I"'s, which many women will take as very self-absorbed. Consider rewriting some of the sentences in a way which says the same thing, but with less "I"'s. Nice profile, overall.

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