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olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 58 (view)

Still love her! Posted: 10/12/2009 6:25:57 PM
She might like you more if you man up and read some of the other 12 million threads on here just like yours for the answer. Its too complicated to answer each one 90 times a day.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

omg!!!!!!!!!! I get in trouble for the littlest things!!! :( Posted: 10/12/2009 6:23:15 PM
I waited for her to come back shopping .. .after like 5 hours shes like ' umm can we just meet up tomorrow I wanna go out tonight with paula'....so I texted her saying 'why didn't you tell me earlier instead of leaving me waiting all day'..., so she text back saying we are over..... So i was like wtf u cant be serious, so then she says I made her feel bad as my message was mean and that is not acceptable...omg... then she said that like two weeks ago when I was stressing out as she made me miss one of my lectures at un --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I was looking for a "pattern" here, and sort of found one. But the premis is, you two really aren't meant for each other, or both of you have your own problems that will affect all relationships...But I know what it's like to "think the other person" is acting weird and you (or I in my case) think we are an ok person, and are justified. Each one of your sentences is an example of a 'problem' A) should you two have been "going away" somewhere? B) you were "waiting" for her to come back shopping, seems innocent enough of course, but was that what you should have been doing. Did you two have some specific plans that evening, or were you just assuming you should be waiting. C) Was she going OUT DRINKING? Big red flag in soo many cases D) You 'texted' her to gripe, griping ain't cool. You should have said, "Have fun honey, I've been busy cleaning the apt for 5 hours, you''ll really like it" or so some other LOVE SANDWICH. E) so she breaks up with you, makes me think she was already annoyed by you or otherwsie gonna break up soon for whatever happened next. F) then like a true ladies man you say "WTF, YOU can't be serious" (she was prolly thinking same thing about you). People like it when we get told we can't be serious. G) And like a normal person, she didn't like your critical message earlier. Maybe next time you will phrase things better or wait for a better time or use A LOVE SANDWICH. H) "Too much shit before.." is a bad predictor of future behavior. Etc....

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Compaq Cq5110f says Vista 64bit, Off.Dep says 32bit Posted: 9/28/2009 7:28:37 AM
I am confused, the new compaq Cq15110f at Office Depot is on sale for $296 with Windows Vista Home premium, and sales rep says it is 32bit (and 3gbram, athlon7550, etc). But the same computer on HP website shows Cq1150f "comes with Windows Vista Home Premium 64bit edition" etc. It only has same 3gb ram. I called HP 800#, she said If I add the 4th Gb ram, it will upgrade to to 64bit OS. Is it that simple> Or how simple is it? PS Cq1150 has maximum 4Gb ram allowed.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 1033 (view)

Why women want guys to come to THEM Posted: 8/23/2009 8:39:27 AM
Months ago, before the OP fled POF, OutofMind said: """Men can spread more than a million of his seed at any given moment. But women only have one at the time and during her whole life can only hold about 12 eggs a year. So while a guy is programmed to spread the millions and millions of seed he has. The woman has to save that egg for the one particular guy that fits her emotional criteria that defines it as a better gene pool and the chance to provide for that egg. So it's not a power game. It is nature. "" --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And he is exactly correct given our level of science and humanity today. I just wish the first 6 people before him, and sooo many afterwards got it? Actually, it does take a bit of anthropology, biology, evolution, or watching the OPRAH show to learn this. Also, females of all mammal species needed a strong male to protect her while pregnant and nursing, and to provide for her. And even though many humans have brains now, a few feminist books from the 70's aren't gonna change 50 million years of God's evolution in a few short decades. Unless, you have a DNA Mutation Chamber muhahahah.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 37 (view)

Honesty and what women really want? Posted: 8/23/2009 8:26:40 AM
""""I went to rehab and have not drank since, 15 months, i tell you this as addiction has destroyed some lives and I understand it makes me a no go for some. I am amazed though how many women on here ask for honesty and when they are presented with the fact that I have lived my life and made mistakes they are not interested.""" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Since you are in recovery, though very early, sooner or later you will learn: "Admitted to ourselves, to God, and ONE OTHER HUMAN BEING, the exact nature of our wrongs".....Let there be no doubt the significance of that, OK? And moreover, you don't have a lot of time left in life to learn the "cliches" of every common person. We might be well trained at our job, or good at art or a sport, or a great "intuitive"...but after that, 97.5% of us are sheeple. Try to be a good sheeple. I know I know. You are really unique right, just like all the profiles who want honesty and no drama and a nice guy etc. HURRY UP!

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

What do couples do every day? Posted: 8/7/2009 3:46:17 PM
What do most steady (unmarried) couples do everyday...quick "mini-dates" after work a few times a week? One big "ToDo" once a week? or meet up to take out the trash and vacuum the cars together? I am speaking for the 30 to 50 year old crowd.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 39 (view)

Need advice on moving out / ending relationship Posted: 7/28/2009 10:10:19 AM
My questions/advice concern how you dearly love him as a friend..but your soul has left the building....plus I'm "concerned" about your attention to negative comments here. THIS IS THE INTERNET, after you learn your way around, you will see that anytime you create a controversy, the whole human universe will weigh in. Ok, if you love him so much as a friend...what is the real problem? Of course the puppy love stage is long gone, now would be the time for real committment, even without all the Valentines and Love Letters.... I like the idea of re-creating a commitment, with a lot of kinky sex.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

Rules of deletion Posted: 6/30/2009 12:41:39 AM
""So you create a perfectly legitimate thread and it gets deleted""" I doubt it. I will often vote to delete topics that suck. But, I got here late for this one.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 37 (view)

relationships Posted: 2/23/2009 2:21:42 PM
what do you do when the guy your in an exclusive relationship with suddenly will not talk to you? he wont even say whats wrong and just leaves you hanging?? with no possible reasons why, except that he annoyed?? and it goes on for days leaving you hurt and angry do you walk away? --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I guess you stop talking to him too, or take moment and try and figure out if you actually did do something offensive, that the general public would be offended by. Do you two drink a lot? People who drink a lot have this problem.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 41 (view)

Friend zone Posted: 2/23/2009 10:59:56 AM
"""Over the years, I've been the "friend" they dumb their "problems" on. It's getting annoying. Now I refuse to listen to their complain anymore. How can someone move from the friend zone to the actual potential relation zone.""" Best way is to read the forums, get educated, so you don't show your ignorance.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 69 (view)

What would you Do? Posted: 2/23/2009 10:59:00 AM
"""Not really sure about theh scenario's since if they are my "friend" then they will stay my friend and I will support them the best wasy I know how. I will maintian the honesty and integrity of our friendship telling when they are screwing up and holding them while they cry. """ Me too, no scenarios needed. Some folks will run and hide, some folks will be there, you know, all the usual suspects, thats my scenario for scenarios.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 68 (view)

Old love versus new love Posted: 2/17/2009 7:58:59 PM
""" one night he/she asks you if you still love your ex wife/hubby. Assume the core truth is yes, even though you are not living in the past at all. Would you answer yes and take potential fire, change topic, or deny it? """" She asks you that because it's obvious you aren't.....Is that why? How's about stop talking about ex's when you are "with" someone you now love, or anyone for that matter.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 54 (view)

You're in a relationship, but you have a profile on POF just for the threads? Really? Posted: 2/17/2009 7:57:01 PM
I've noticed quite a few of you say you have boyfriends/girlfriends, yet you have a profile on a singles site....and you claim you're here just for the threads? I've also seen some girls' profiles and they say they have a boyfriend but they're looking for friends....really? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yeah really, stick around a while newbie and learn. Oh, and save your self a lot of embarassment, and learn to do a thread search. Or do women find your freshman humor desirable?

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

Past the Anger...Now Just Feeling Sad Posted: 2/10/2009 2:30:00 AM
It does hurt, doesn't it. Not much you can do though. The pain should go away, eventually, sometimes a year. So be prepared, do all the good healthy things you can do for you and yours around you. The LDR very often is a relationship killer....but then you also learn how serious each person is. Good luck. REMEMBER, NO CONTACT for at least two weeks maybe 4 weeks.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 70 (view)

Marriage is spelled stupid, no matter how you look at it! Posted: 2/10/2009 12:49:25 AM
Hmmm, I'm wondering if those two have gotten back together yet? Anyways, my BIG QUESTION, though late is did OP really make herself as clear in the beginning as she thinks and tells us she did. Just mentioning off the cuff "I don't know if I want to get married any time soon" in a low tone of voice in reply to his question about "what's your favorite sex fantasy" a week after you meet is not gonna register in his ram. So, OP, I'm guessing (maybe wrong) that YOU DID NOT tell him your original thoughts on marriage: frequently, to the point, and with level heads and clear words. If you get a chance to see him again..ask him "Bob, please, I want to ask you something important, I hope you can answer me sincerely...how many times since we met did I tell you I wasn't looking for marriage"? Oh Yeah and call him up ASAP apologize, and say you NEED A DATE FOR VALENTINES DAY AND BREAKFAST THE NEXT MORNING.....

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Anyone fall for someone, but know nothing can happen? Posted: 2/10/2009 12:31:42 AM
""""Yeah -- honesty.... they type where you pretend you aren't attracted to her? Good one: I can see how much sharing and honesty there is there. Maybe you need to aim for a bit more sharing and honesty and tell her how you feel""" """Being an ex club manager I have to ask.. does she get any freebies from you? eg. entry, drinks etc?""" 2nd quote reminds me of a South Park episode, where the waitress at Hooters (errr, they call it "Raisins") tells little what's his name she "really really likes him" and can't wait to see him again. And this being little what's his name's first GF, he is smitten, and goes to Raisins every night for dinner to see her....but when he see's her outside she avoids him and tells him to come see her at Raisins, then the bouncer gets nasty with little what's his name. Ever notice how many of these weird relationships involve drinking?

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

How long till u give up on a relationship? Posted: 2/9/2009 7:53:16 PM
could be 4 days, 4 weeks, 4 months, 4 years...how do we know what you two have going? Why don't you read some other threads. Are intimiate or not? If she cant'nt be bothered to return your calls in a normal way, then dump her, or anyone who can't return a fone call in a reasonable amt of time.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

Spoiled her rotten for 6 months... Need things to change Posted: 2/9/2009 7:51:13 PM
"""What is a smart way to have her pull back on her demands and make her understand I can't be there all the time? It has gotten to the point where I tell her I am at work just b/c I need to chat with my friends a bit...""" The grow a spine idea is too hard. How about, you tell her in clear normal words what's up from day to day, let her know ahead of time if you have a date planned for her or that you want to see her..Call 1x a day, maybe twice, to see what's going on that evening. And if you are honestly busy, tell her you "really love you, but I"m honestly very busy now, can I call you back later tonite"? etc.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

Should I have to fake it to make it? Posted: 2/9/2009 7:29:47 PM
"""As for golden opportunities, they were basically when I had become good friends with a girl but never made a move. Then somebody else got them before I could muster the courage to ask them out.""" Oh yes it happens to all of us guys, and likewise the women experience the opposite "the guys I like never ask me out". etc So take your time, have you lost any money doing it your way? Oh good. "Fake it till you make it" is the correct phrase/quote. Maybe knowing the correct words might help? IN a case like this, it means, ask out some young women even if you aren't totally hot to trot. GET SOME TICKETS, HAVE A PLAN. one or two minutes of small talk first is all that most women can stand anyways, then pop the big question or just snoogle up to them, put your mouth about 1/2 inch from hers...and then see what she does. Do not move or flinch though.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 37 (view)

Girlfriend has a GUY friend..... what do you think? Posted: 2/9/2009 7:18:12 PM
"""I trust her 100% Every other word you typed contradicts that.""" Maybe or not...BUT DO A THREAD SEARCH, I know I've answered this same exact question 50 times in 5 years or more. DJchickie got it right """but there can't be any secrecy or separation if it's a normal deal.""" She must have read my 50 other replies. ie "It's awesome to have opposite sex friends, but you don't hang out with them in private. And each others partners are invited to these social times" It's a lot like the decency of saying "please and thank you" in general. And has little to do with trust or jealousy, just common decency.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 50 (view)

What to do? Posted: 2/9/2009 1:40:25 PM
"""the thing is i guess he knows my ex and my ex calls ALL the time"" Does the phrase "Birds of a feather flock together" mean anything to you. Guy in jail is serious enough problem, hanging out with anyone who knew him is also usually gonna become a problem. I don't know any losers, in jail or out. I wouldn't associate with them in any way.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

6 month lease period, Infidelity or confirmation. Posted: 2/9/2009 1:31:14 PM
"""So, the 6 month rule is until you reach that point, the relationship is a taster you may look and indulge in activities only that which are not offered in the taster. i.e lover is not into some extreme kinky sexual practices that you would like to try, and you get the opportunity to within in the lease period. "" Never heard that weird rule, do you live in Utah or something. Sounds fairly stupid.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

relationship advise Posted: 2/9/2009 1:29:54 PM
"""Well he's either a really nice man who likes to take care of people and maybe get used some, or he's lying to you and hoping you are stupid enough for him to use. You are dating him, what do you think?""" I can't think of a better answer than that. Sometimes ex wives need a lot of help, even if they say "hell no, I aint helpin you with shiit". But talkin to a lot of single girls is a red flag...BTW, how do you know he is talking with a lot of anyone and that they are single or not or even female? I wouldn't worry too much about it as long as he pays for the dates. DO NOT GIVE HIM YOUR ATM CARD, do not buy him a cellphone, do not give him your car, and probably don't let him move in. Otherwise, he sounds pretty good compared to most guys here.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 66 (view)

At what point............. Posted: 2/9/2009 9:19:14 AM
"""He and I gel very well and I just adore him, but one night every 2-3 weeks for a few hours is not enough. """ I guess the "enough is enough...is not enough" is the same for all relationship issues. If your happiness isn't worth the stress or work, then that's it. Or if the good no longer outweighs the bad. Me? I was happy with the one nite a week sleepover and once or twice daily phone calls that let me know I was loved and appreciated (until she ended it, waaaaaa).

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 79 (view)

How come we don't hear She's just not that in to you? Posted: 2/9/2009 8:46:29 AM
Ummm, because you watch too much TV. I've heard that phrase around here a lot. PS: I see a match made in heaven with the last two posters, what are you waiting for!

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

I Feel Like a Failer Posted: 2/9/2009 1:15:40 AM
One idea is to BE MORE SPECIFIC. When do you feel this way? What things cause it? What good things make you feel good (booze, candy, food, tobaccoo, sex, TV don't count)? Are you late for appointments? Do you get mad easily and ruin normal social affairs (my mom did this on the phone tonite, I'm sad, but so tired of her blaming everyone else including me for picking on her etc). What goals or to do lists might help? FIND A FRIEND in the same boat. Get a "life buddy" who doesn't care if you complain or forget your appointment cause he/she has the same problems. Also, if you are still in school, ask if they have a spelling course.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 77 (view)

hi Posted: 2/9/2009 12:56:27 AM
Well, now that we got the boobs figured out. Maybe we can discuss Putting Our Unique Wants in Numerical Order of Priority. Then If you are a guy who really likes to argue with women who show boobs, you can put that #1 on the list, since it's what you've spent this whole thread making a big deal of. Mmmm and I love those big soft deals, I think I'd RANK THEM 6TH and 7TH on my list of wants.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 33 (view)

Abuse - Constructive reactions only please! Posted: 2/7/2009 11:17:23 PM
I would tell them after I've done a search function that answers that question.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 25 (view)

the list on your profile Posted: 2/7/2009 11:16:35 PM
Dont forget to ask Admin to numerate that list, so #1 is the #1 most important thing to you, second is the #2 most important thing to you. If you jog 10 miles a day, maybe that should be listed #1 or #2, but if you only go camping 1X every 3 years, that would be near the end, in the last box on the list. In between, if you golf every weekend, love Cajun food, put that in the middle, so the rest of us know what you really are all about (ok getting a police report takes you to another website).

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 106 (view)

Giving her reason... Posted: 2/7/2009 9:36:04 PM
"""I guess you missed that she already has four kids and no active father. And I've got 20 bucks that says those four do not share the same sperm donor."""" (((1. You don't know that, and 2. So what? How is this your business?))) Yes we do, she said it. 2. Society pays for the unplanned children, welfare is a trillion dollar expense. The majority of those in prison came from a one parent home. That's why its our business. It should be yours too if you care about children.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 161 (view)

Would you become 'GOOD, CLOSE FRIENDS' with a MARRIED man or woman? Posted: 2/6/2009 10:00:04 AM
""""Have you ever had a girlfriend, whom you talked to...about HER boyfriend, say...when she needed advice, or just wanted to talk about an issue with him? I would bet for sure, you have.....did you feel disrespectful towards HIM? It's the exact same thing. That's how our friendship was....""" Without getting into the tit for tat arguments here, let me say there are numerous threads on POF about M and W friends. Namely, its fine as long as the two do not hang out in private, and the SO's are invited to get together, if they want. Also, it's not fine if one has "feelings" but keeps them down. In this case, I also say the main reason I talk with female friends is to give and get advice about our relationships or the opposite sex in general. some other female friends to me are more casual or superficial. Which is why I was astounded when my now EX GF said she and her ex BF friend "hardly ever talked about you". How odd (and disappointing) for such a "friendship only now" status, that M and F relationships aren't a topic? That and other things is why I told her, "I have no problem with M and F friends, I'd love to meet him and get to know him, maybe a dinner or BBQ sometime soon?" To which she replied "you two don't have anything in common" Anyone see where these things can go.......?

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

OK guys and gals, how do you know? Posted: 1/4/2009 2:57:19 PM
"""What has surprised me is there are so many players out there...men and women, and I'm not one! But how do you finally come to the realization you've been played?""" Rick as you mature and grow older this stuff should be obvious.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 28 (view)

What's my play here? Do I bother talking to her? Posted: 1/4/2009 2:55:41 PM
""""I see her out one night, she notices the second I walk in the building and texts me. """ That is truly amazing! She saw ya right away huh? Truly, God has a plan for you two. I see a match made in heaven, two equal minds, yet joined at the hip.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 132 (view)

POOF....he/she 's gone!!! Posted: 1/3/2009 12:02:56 PM
. Anenigma said: """"did it make me feel better to have 'closure' ? NOPE, not one iota. In some ways, I'd have rather NOT known that I was not his first choice. Really, did I need to know that??? Nah...bottom line was 'he wasn't that into me' and the end result is the same; he was gone!""" Truer words have not been written. It seems such obvious advice we give to others, but it is so hard when it happens to us individually.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 31 (view)

A Story Open for Opinions Posted: 1/3/2009 11:46:49 AM
"""Should she expect him to re-assure her and make an affort to gain her trust or is he corect when saying that because she stayed and supported him she can't use that against him and be insecure?""" That is a legitimate question. Have you gotten your answer and he too hopefully? Yes, he should reassure her somehow. Should she "expect" it, well no....expectations are a resentment waiting to happen someone once said. Is he correct? Sort-of. She should not "use it against him" nor is he off the hook... THE TWO PEOPLE NEED A PLAN! Make a "plan", a timetable, with agreements to what is "expected" and that's ok to expect things you formally agree to. Is he getting therapy? Does she recognize the warning signs. Are both being open and honest? Or does one or the other "hide" their thoughts about this? I say this because, I am a man who was in this spot. And the lady never said a peep in language I could understand.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 128 (view)

Concerning the Nature of God. Posted: 1/3/2009 11:00:15 AM
"""" from a philosophical view point; bear with me because it's fairly deep. God is good: This is where we get our concept of morality. God is Good because God IS GOODNESS. Goodness is that which comes from God. God and morality are one in the same. In a practical nature, this means that God would not command humans to… say, "bite off your neighbor's ear," because that is NOT good. """" Well, its not that D-E-E-P, but deeper than most forum postings. The whole argument, or question does rest on one prime concern, does God really exist? That would make the point mute. I firmly espouse that "We are nothing but stardust" and "life" is an unusual result of that, because it evolves, we are not perfect. We are monkeys with no hair and 3% different DNA. Our shiit stinks, it is not perfect. That is the answer to questions of God that have no answer. Of course, I think that's D-E-E-P, since it is the correct answer. Because, we cannot answer questions of "what if" if the "If" doesn't exist, and another "correct" set of facts exist. It would be like making up laws of physics that break the laws of physics. It does make for good drunken debate, on rare occasions. What if we just changed the OP a little and made up an imaginary character, lets call him "Joe God", what shall we start discussing is true or false of this man that doesn't exist? For example this """"their god created man's natural, animalistic tendencies such as lust, hate, greed, jealousy, etc.""" Not at all! Why? Those did not exist before life. Can we say one bacteria eating another is "greedy"? No we can't, for if that didn't happen, or if there was no lust, there would be no further life. That is also why we die and dead stuff stinks. It's required by the laws of entropy. We do have brains, more advanced than most life on Earth, and probably less advanced than some other stellar systems evolution. I do feel sorry for our Bonobo and Chimp relatives, and all other life we are destroying wrecklessly to increase our kind, because we are selfish in a biologically normal way. But, our instincts have gone awry. Our brains give us power, let's use it to become spiritual and "Godly", if that's possible. And not just what you or I or others think is "spiritual" if it benefits us. No, I do not know where the particles of time and space came from. That knows no "good" or "evil". There isn't an evil "particle" in the Universe. Humans define good and bad. "Social problems are what people say they are" is a very common theory sociology. It is perhaps then arguable that "murder" or "rape" isn't evil in the big scheme of things, and isn't that what we are talking about?

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 42 (view)

Almost a Pretty Woman scenario... Posted: 12/24/2008 10:44:02 AM
""""I really am interested in this woman...but...I fear that getting involved with her, may slow me down in such a way that I might regret it later...She HAS potential...but...the thing is someone is ALWAYS going to have to be willing to work with her, and maybe take a little time out of their life to help her understand...Neither of us have ever been married, nor have children..."""" I don't know where or how you should or could proceed. This is a tuff case. If she really is damaged goods, I don't know if you are the man for her. But, if somehow you two could "establish things" and certain boundries, if BOTH OF YOU are capable of that...then there is some potential. I.e, ARE YOU mature enough to handle it? Or are you gonna go gaga gaga when the sex starts, let her move in, buy her a car, get her a cell phone, and give her a credit card....and the buys drugs with it, has her other boyfriends over, and tells you to go fuk yourself or something? I.e, YOU HAVE READ A LOT OF THREADS HERE RIGHT? Or, SHE MIGHT BE A WINNER! Already, with street smarts, ambition, a never quit attitude learned from all the hard knocks she's had. Some people are like that, many aren't. Just make sure you both have BOUNDRIES and establish some EXPECTATIONS and GO SLOW...before buying her that car..... """" in 5 years...She will learn a lot from you, go on trips with you, and be a whole new woman.... at the end she would leave you! """" That does happen too, its a very natural cycle. The "child" grows up and want's to leave the mentor, etc.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 34 (view)

Why do women say they seek Long Term Relationship Posted: 12/23/2008 10:02:41 AM
"""Why do women on here say they seek a Long Term Relationship when the reality is they are going on multiple dates and keeping multiple contacts going at the same time?""" I think they are trying to avoid guys like you....DO A THREAD SEARCH NEXT TIME. and please people "CLICK TO DELETE" these inane naive repetitive threads.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 42 (view)

Should I stay or should I go? Posted: 12/23/2008 10:00:16 AM
""""7. So now it's a matter of days before he is meant to arrive and we still have no itinerary in hand, BUT I decide I'm going to try not to sweat the small stuff. After all, it's the bigger picture that's important here. The point of which is that he's coming to visit, and very soon, right? Right? Exactly."""" This in a nutshell is YOUR ERROR. its not the bigger picture, its not a nutshell, its not "the point is", not "very soon" not "exactly". So working back from problem 7., somewhere you should have decided "well this really is a clusterfuk, and hey, if you show up and I'm home, great we can meet....but I was planning to go to the grocery store that day and vacuum a bit". No, by the time you got to #7., you should have given up way earlier. 3 STRIKES AND YOU ARE OUT is my motto.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

True Love Posted: 12/21/2008 12:51:21 PM
Hmm, this is an obscure forum for this thread, which explains why I get to respond first. I agree with those 4 "aspects". But this is not a perfect world we live in. Love is a spiritual act, that evolved from simpler animal survival needs. If all 4 of those "aspects" really needed to be present, I don't think we would have 6 billion people on Earth.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 30 (view)

Change- oh the horror Posted: 12/21/2008 9:48:52 AM
"""Why do men get upset when they believe a woman is trying to change them?""" I wasn't aware of this. A much bigger problem on a global scale is women who get upset when men try to change them. Its too bad for that guy with the dirty shorts, he had a perfect woman I bet. And, OP now knows what POFer's think of GENERALIZATIONS! """I believe in personal growth and that the 2 people involved compliment each other's differences. The hope is that it is a mutual effort and that change is a natural evolution of the relationship.""" Well that's a good start. I can relate too. I was in a fun loving relationship for three years, trying desperately to figure out what she "really" wanted aside from the cliches of "a friend, someone to do things with, and a good kisser". Why can't women communicate this? Anyways, one day to my surprise there was an odd note taped to my back door...saying that my house was too messy, it "affected" our relationship (when I asked how, I just got more cliches), my ex could report me, "you need help"...ok. I got help, I went to a counselor a week later every week, got put on some meds for depression and ADD, sold some junk on craglish, etc. Then two weeks later she dumps me, ok smooth. One of her cliches was "neither one of us wants to change". Sounds good right ladies and gentlemen? Hmm, a little change on her part would have been nice, not just cliches and "hints".

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 17 (view)

would you go help Posted: 12/20/2008 12:37:36 PM
"""" earlier in the week he thought he would have some friends of his son coming over but they didn't show."""" Hmmm sounds familiar. Same exact kinda thing happened to me a year ago exactly today!!!! GF called at 11am came over to help empty living room so I could get new carpet on Monday, alcoholic neighbor was supposed to show earlier, but didn't. Turns out he did at 9am and knocked real quietly. Anyways IF YOU DO GO OVER, YOU CAN'T GET MAD ABOUT ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS OK? My GF got mad that I wasn't prepared more, dumped me that day, we got back together 3 weeks later..but. Gees YOU can't get mad if you go over there and he does get mad, understand? I mean his other GF might be there packing his cases of porn, are you ok with that?

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 17 (view)

A question about being rejected Posted: 12/20/2008 12:32:59 PM
Cassaggoogo?......Are you currently on vacation in LaLa Land? Everything you just sed is preposterous, ridiculous, outrageous, like zinfandel and Zoolander on cracks. So, you really think every guy who dates you gets married a few days later and lives happily ever after just because of you? Try this, do a marketing promo, give a way some free HJ's or BOGO BJ's. You've got 48 hours. Obviously you've got to do this Before all the family comes over for Xmas. Think Positive, ignore the weirdos, and don't dump all your garbage on the first date. Come back here in a couple days and let us know how your luck has changed.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 149 (view)

I called my girlfriend a PIG by mistake... What do I do now? Posted: 12/20/2008 12:17:13 PM
"""Buy her a diamond tennis bracelet for Christmas because you're in big trouble.""" Do not listen to these women! They are all in Cahoots, sure a $400 tennis bracelet will get you one more date, but is that all you want? Listen to this perennial dating site wise man: DO NOT CALL HER for 3 days. You don't want to ruin her fun. She is just having a blast right now, probably soaking in a bubble bath, chatting on her golden corded fone to all her BFF's on 3 way, just laughing and poking at YOU! Can you hear them now "Ha Ha, your boyfriend finally called you a pig "by mistake"? Jim and Tatum always do that to me "by mistake". Do I make them pay, oh do I, Tatum bought me an Ipod skin and Faux Diamond stud Ping Pongs" That's what you will get if you let these ladies play you for a fewl. Is that what you want? Or do you want to be her MAN! Be a man! You already apologized as best you can by sending her pictures of you and pig, I can't think of anything you could do, except hold out until she begs you for it! Then call her a pig and see if she doesn't respond with a more favorable "oink oink, I luv sausage". edit: Oh, ic you had sex, never mind. was that cuz you did buy her a tennis racket?

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

First relationship. advice for first timers. Posted: 12/20/2008 9:39:49 AM
And get rid of your freak profile, my God, I've never read such a pile of crap. What if she does?

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 25 (view)

How do you tell someone that you love they make you miserable? Posted: 12/20/2008 9:36:30 AM
"""" are asking different questions. No, you can't control it, but that doesn't mean you have to be miserable either. avoid general words like 'miserable'. Use specific words, not just complaining. And yes, leaving them is plan B if that doesn't work. Don't just not talk to them like some kind of punishment until they change. That won't work.""" Gotta agree with this one for sure. Remember, you think they are crazy and cruel, and they think you are crazy and weird, Right? So pray for them too to get "Health Happiness and Prosperity" and PICK YOUR BATTLES, don't argue about how many teaspoons of sugar in a cake recipe or how long to marinade the roast. But BE PREMPTIVE, if you have plans for the weekend say "Well, what do you think we should do this weekend...its Marys Bday, and I'd like to take a walk with you sometime, and you said you wanted to change the oil....." How do YOU think we should do things?

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 32 (view)

Am i being played? please tell me im not :( Posted: 12/19/2008 10:26:01 AM
Ok, well since you wrote this today...how's about we all give it a little tiny bit more time to see what happens???? How's that sound for starters.... In the meantime (like the next 4 hours or so...LOL) since this is a LTR as of 1:10am this morning. BE COOL DUDE. You get what you pay for. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Don't call her for 8 hours, if you can wait that long. KEEP IT LITE! No need to tell her you are in love this afternoon (it's only been 8 hours), GO TO A MOVIE, kiss her little bit, get a handjob, eat some ice cream, kiss her goodnite and say "I had a good time". If she "talks about the ex" ask her nicely "Please, let's don't talk about him now" and likewise, don't you be saying "When are you gonna get over your ex". JUST DON'T TALK ABOUT IT OK? If your relationship lasts until tomorrow, well, you have succeeded.

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 51 (view)

Clinical Depression and having a relationship Posted: 12/19/2008 10:21:22 AM
Hey this is good news! OP wrote """" I will use to the suggestion of exercise..i work on my feet ( walking, lifting,)....but i find a long walk clears my head even if it is only for 15 minutes. I dont feel as though my boyfriend is using me, because he is always here for me. If i am upset he doesnt have to ask me, he knows and tells me he loves me everyday. He even admits he does not know what he can do to help me, and i remind him that it isnt his reponsibility. He helps out my dad alot too""" Good deal. Lots of other good advice: Find a medication that does help, get a counselor or GO TO A GROUP so you can "vent", ASK YOUR BOYFRIEND for more specific helpful help, PREPARE HIM to what your plans, needs, and expectations are. Please don't leave him "wondering" what you need or want. Of course, be thoughtful and polite if want help or don't want to see him. Tell him "I love you, but I am real busy today" or "I have so much to do today, if you could help me do the yard and wash the cars, I'll bake you a cake and pop out of it naked" (ok, that's what I'd want). TRY YOGA and or other FULL BODY EXERCISE. I don't know, walking just wears me out and my legs are sore. I love stretching and yoga, makes me feel 10 years younger and balanced from head to toe. And I'm depressed, take prozac (for now) tried others....I "live with it". "Fake it till you make it" I don't let my problems burden others UNNECESSARILY. I try and smile and say please and thank you a lot etc. Remember others may be worse off than you!

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 23 (view)

Difference Between Whats Right and Whats Expected Posted: 12/19/2008 10:11:57 AM
"""if the person in question doesn't know you have a particular timetable (or expectation) of when something should be done, you need to COMMUNICATE that expectation. Otherwise, the person in question is a victim of an unknown timetable, and constantly subjected to your disappointment (or punishment, depending on how you express the fact that your expectations are not met)""" This is an interesting point about an obvious example. Yes, you are right, I feel "victim" of that. You are with someone who says 2-3 times a day "I love you" and you get birthday cards, and sex once a week, and hold hands...but when you ask them "what do you really want" or "what are your expectations" or "how can we have a better relationship", you don't get an answer. Perhaps they do wish to communicate a helpful reply, BUT CAN'T! Or they think a "cliche" such as "I want us to be happy" , or "I want to do things and hang out" is the same as a real answer. However, I don't know if this would have helped the OP or his ex. NEXT TIME CHOOSE CAREFULLY PEOPLE. Especially if you move in!

olyman38

Joined: 5/12/2005

Msg: 25 (view)

Do you suffer from feeling out of their league? Posted: 12/17/2008 2:55:04 PM
I would first do a forum search, and make a thread posting your top 10 best answers you find.

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