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Thread: why is it so hard to find a good women....

Joined: 5/13/2005

Msg: 39 (view)

why is it so hard to find a good women.... Posted: 8/29/2005 6:15:48 PM
PCO I am wiht you on this one bud. I have had seizures all my life, and in about most places I go I get the treatment from most people that I am lesser then they are due to my seizures just on the fact that I am unable to do some things they are capable of. In women though, I think wiht how most need a sense of secuirty a disabled guy is not their ideal mate, in my case alot of the places I hang are not the best to look for a date.. but I keep getting told there is a mate for everyone, and I really want to believe that. With my luck though every women I gain interest in is miles away, which is not good for me. Anyways PCO try to keep yopur hopes up bud.

Joined: 5/13/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

The things that matter most Posted: 8/16/2005 12:09:14 AM
no blind date, just a curious question.

Joined: 5/13/2005

Msg: 16 (view)

For Men Only Do you prefere looks or personality?? Posted: 8/16/2005 12:06:02 AM
in the long run of any relationship its personality that you pay attention to, looks lose their luster in time. Yet no matter what you will always look at her/him the same. Granted starting to gain interest in most people requires abit of physical attraction, but ask yourself this are you with her cause of her/him body or mind. I doubt its her/his body you talk to lol just my 2 cents

Joined: 5/13/2005

Msg: 21 (view)

why is it so hard for a disabled guy to find a date? Posted: 8/15/2005 11:51:37 PM
I'd not say I am giving up, I am just not going to look. It always seems I bump into more people that way. I met someone recently she seems cool, has alot of the same interests I do, the only problem is she lives somewhat far away. This is always the luck I have LOL long distance relationships, none of which have ever worked cause each one of them got attached way too fast.

Joined: 5/13/2005

Msg: 20 (view)

why is it so hard for a disabled guy to find a date? Posted: 8/15/2005 11:47:23 PM
thanks blastkist, i will say its not easy having to keep in mind what limitations I have and everyday all i want is to be as good as everyone else, yet people around me can't see that. But my seizures are not exactly serious life threatening. I black out, can't respond to anyone aound me and go into a panic attack, andon occassion I have sleep cause of how it drains me The most i deal with is how people that don't know me react. For a time my best friend, before I really knew him, he so over reacted. I had to tell him so many times I am well an able to take care of myself as he kept watchign me like my mom does, well one day i pretty much had to shake it into him ( don't mean that literally) and told him to stop watching me like I am a child. its just sad how pple over react from things they don't understand

Joined: 5/13/2005

Msg: 15 (view)

why is it so hard for a disabled guy to find a date? Posted: 8/13/2005 11:19:26 PM
Thanks Knight Rider, I think I will stick around. I was thinking on it before, bit for some reason I thought to rather lokf or penpals, but I much ratehr talk to real peopel then have a person e-mail me when they feel liek it, I cannot symbolize how much the epilepsy has kept me from having a real life in many ways, including getting to knwo people as I am not able to get out, even if I did, not alot of places to get to knwo people, theres bars, but not what I call a place of enjoyment. thanks for the support

Joined: 5/13/2005

Msg: 14 (view)

why is it so hard for a disabled guy to find a date? Posted: 8/13/2005 11:14:29 PM
security?? abot everyone I have bee with in the past, have all given me that I make them feel safe. if you ask me its cause probably most of them just came from a bad relationship previously or somehtring similar nature. my mom wants me to marry a nurse lol and can take care of myself well. mine are only partial seizures last no longer then 30 seconds to 1 minute, not what i call sevier. I was at University of VIginia hospital when i was 12, amn you talk about bad, those kids all had it worse then me, I was the only one during that time period that did not have a spell. So I consider myself fortunate and lucky. Well soon I am in the works to get my own place, and maybe that will show a few eyes I am well and able to handle myself. Ironic how some have to prove themselves more then others.

Joined: 5/13/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

why is it so hard for a disabled guy to find a date? Posted: 8/13/2005 11:08:34 PM
Well actually I am "trying" to get help from teh local vocational rehabilitation on that, and man they either need help or need to learn how to do their job, it always takes them 6 months to get back to me and when they do they always set me up with some agency, the last one I worked with never got back to me after the original apointment. hey are suposed to set me up with some other agency, but I am not holding my breath. I tried College 2 times and neither could they ever suply the help I needed. My epilepsy is well under control with my medication, the problem is always when i meantion i have them during an interview, the manager cringes and usually tells me they can't hire me but never say "won't". Its liek they are scared to give me a chance, which is why I have had to go through places liek the good will and voc. rehab. and in the end about all jobs both places got me ended up in the manager firing me, but its taking thngs liek this is why I have chose to not get a job, people around here are not exactly what i call caring.

Joined: 5/13/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

why is it so hard for a disabled guy to find a date? Posted: 8/13/2005 10:59:21 PM
oh I can do all for myself very well. well but transportation, which is why I am stuck on this machine so much. yeah i got the teasing alot too cause I was not able to be as good as the rest of the guys, my condition did lead me to not be real physical. Its only he recently it was found that its from anxiety, both mental and ohysical stress they are triggered by, keeping that in mind and watching myself taking the meds properly I am totaly fine. And I may not of been teh most physical person in teh world, i think I did dang good for myself, I am in descent physical shape, I am even starting to get into weight lifting which I am starting to see some results from i never did find out if it was from myseizures or it was a condition I grew up with. But I have ADD also, and it was said that almost anyone with seizures as I has ADD, woudl you knwo anythign on that? oh you was not babbling, I love having someone to talk to. if you really belive that of myseizures as you say, the entire state of tennesse needs to grow up. I apologize if that offends anyon, i say that from my personal expieriences growing up.

Joined: 5/13/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

why is it so hard for a disabled guy to find a date? Posted: 8/13/2005 10:51:07 PM
I want to thank you allf or your kind words. I am honestly impressed I was not expecting any respsonses really. Even the nickname I chose was a test to see how judgmental ppl would be lol Its just the area I live in alot of people are very prejuidice, and I really can't afford to move. One heck of a catch 22. And well this problem is one of the things that lead me to living on SSI, plus on how it affected my life physically as well as mentally.

Joined: 5/13/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

why is it so hard for a disabled guy to find a date? Posted: 7/25/2005 5:30:02 PM
OK I am epileptic, I have complex partial seizures which are triggred by anxiety. aside from my seizures I am no different then anyone else but, I am unable to drive on account of my seizures, which can be real frustrating let me tell you, cause its hard to get out to meet a chic, so I have to rely on the internet, but for some reason whenever I do find a lady whom I get interest in and she asks what kind of job I have. I naturally tell her the truth cause I am an honest guy, and at teh moment I meantion that I am disabled or am unable to work, total cut off, they alway stop speeking to me. can anyone tell me why this is? cause personally I am getting kind of sick of it. also if anyone has the link to a disnabled singles site, prefferabled one that has no charge fee, I woudol be very thankful, been wantign to try one of those out. I thank you for your inputs and opinion. Alan

Joined: 5/13/2005

Msg: 32 (view)

Introduce Yourself Here. Posted: 6/26/2005 6:18:45 PM
HI, my is Alan and I am 29 and, I live in the upper east Tennesse area. and I am looking to meet someone ( prefferable a lady) who liek me likes to write back and forth alot, don't matter from where really, I am more looking for someone who likes to do friends first as far as going for a relationship. I am a real homebody ( its sucks not being able to drive) so I have alot of spare time, and writing is one thign I liek to do alot, it would just be nice to have a "friend" to write to

Joined: 5/13/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

For Men Only Do you prefere looks or personality?? Posted: 6/26/2005 6:11:24 PM
I find personality is mroe important, and if I meet someone who's personality I liek it makes her glow on the outsde.

Joined: 5/13/2005

Msg: 28 (view)

what turns guys off on a woman's appearance? Posted: 6/22/2005 6:36:21 AM
I have gone ou with girls of difernt sizes so that don't bother me too much unless she is bigger then me. Personally though I can't stand if its a woman that I find does nto have alot of meat on her. and by that I mean somoene I can wrap y arm around her waste lol Too much perfume and make up, big turn off. I can never stand too much eye makeup. and I am not too crazy on smokers

Joined: 5/13/2005

Msg: 87 (view)

BeachPerson Posted: 6/22/2005 6:11:38 AM
I am somewhat used to it, I live in the south and at about every restraraunt I go to, ever waitress calls you hun or sweety, not to meantion about ever girl I knwo around here, unfortunetly all of whom are taken. I live in Tn and at the moment Iam on Vacation in canada, and even my own family members call me hun here, as well as pl I do not know, so I'd have to agree with tikcane definetly a cultural thing, my question is how far of one lol

Joined: 5/13/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

The things that matter most Posted: 6/21/2005 10:43:26 AM
I have a question for the ladies. If you were set up on a blnd date with someone you had never seen or talked to. If there was one thign about him that would strike your interest most what wul it be? I guess i am trying to ask what is the one feature in a guy you ladies try to lok for? I.E.****size, physical looks,size of his wallet, or just that youknow he wold treat you good.

Joined: 5/13/2005

Msg: 159 (view)

People's past history -- is it fair to cast them aside or judge in the present relationship? Posted: 6/9/2005 9:13:10 AM
honestly it would more depend on the person. I recently met a friend with a dark passt in so many ways, but deep in her heart she is a good person, just abit more difficult in some ways, bu that don't mean I shall cast her aside, I'd rather be there for her when she needs me. Though I will say she is not going beyond friend to me, cause 1) she is 17 and I don't date jail bait. 2) she is abit over dramatic in ways, and I'd say thats due to her abusive parents and for a few other things I shall not say.

Joined: 5/13/2005

Msg: 91 (view)

can you trust some one once they cheat? Posted: 6/9/2005 9:08:08 AM
tried it with my last girlfriend, big mistake. I was at a renfest, and she got drunk and kissed another guy, it was our first date, it hurt to say the least, but liek an idiot I trusted her. Somethign I will never do again. After that I came to the belief that if someone is able to do something liek that when drunk they also are when sober, would just be a matter of more time.

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