a quick question about options... chat & forums.

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lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

a quick question about options... Posted: 12/8/2008 2:51:09 PM
well..............I like a confident man, who will plan a date a bit - perhaps where we start and has options ready for wht is next............if it becomes a relationship i may plan a few of the dates to surprise him too. ........

lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 113 (view)

Too busy to date then why try Posted: 12/8/2008 2:28:26 PM
hmmmmm ....i keep busy, but make time for date. However, don't expect me to sit around waiting - if you are a no show, then i am on the go...............

lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

What type of new bed should I purchase for men's bedroom? Posted: 12/5/2008 5:46:31 PM
Wooden Four Poster - short posts - no spindles Solid or wrought iron with wood headboard- no canopy for a guy's rooom - spend money on a good mattress - she and you will appreciate it! Get a matching men's armoire and don't forget egyptian cotton sheets - 300 thread sateen sheets and a microfibbre comforter and big pillows ooooh

lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 49 (view)

Things to do and NOT do on a date! Posted: 11/2/2008 5:44:59 PM
Things to do - enjoyyourself and the experience (and if it's a bad one laugh later ) . If chemistry is there follow the lead. If you want to touch her / him or kiss them - why not? Things not to do - follow dating rules - who made these up anyways?????

lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 93 (view)

Simple things you remember about someone special - past or present Posted: 10/11/2008 4:51:20 PM
sparkling blue eyes, and a deep full laugh, and his touch...............

lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 46 (view)

hooking up with ex lover 38 years later Posted: 10/11/2008 4:49:31 PM
I met my highschool sweet heart after thirty years........................it was wonderful ! We both loved every minute and wonder why we hadn't connected as adults earlier...................still great and trusted friends

lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Am I Broken? Posted: 9/29/2008 1:31:56 PM
my experience with the last two relationships , is that a man's courtship rituals end once he knows he has her heart. \|They become complacent about sharing information, impressing, and being attnetive. In other words the honeymoon ends and it becomes a routine. For many women , they want the honeymoon phase to last their whole lives. Reflect if you are one who, once the hunt is over becomes complacent ? This may be why they look elsewhere.

Lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

How to cope with it? Posted: 6/22/2008 3:23:21 PM
Hey OP - How about adding a friends with benefits categories in between friends and dating ?

Lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 176 (view)

made a terrible mistake by f&&king these other guys ... Posted: 6/22/2008 9:52:17 AM
You made no mistakes here..............you were not together and had needs to satisfy. He wasn't there to fill the needs - point that out to him , next time he tries to guilt you. BTW - what did he do when he craved a woman while you were apart? And did he tell you about everyone he slept with ? Doesn't sound like it. If he wants to start over - then what happened in between doesn't matter. I don't discuss other past partners with lovers - Learn to keep your fun to yourself for your future relationships.

lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 35 (view)

drama burnout Posted: 6/15/2008 6:41:39 PM
There's the good drama too - new love , first kisses , first ....... having someone just show up or phone. But yes - we all come with our faults, it's finding the person who can accept them - the right fit. A person willing to love you enough to try and make it all work - their faults ( baggage and yours)

lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 98 (view)

Passion Posted: 6/15/2008 6:38:13 PM
I prefer when a man says exactly what it is he likes " you have a great smile " or a beautiful outfit or it is a wonderful photo. After I get to know him - if the "youlook sexy in that photo " comes out - I will be better able to accept it as an honest comment then thinking it is a pick up line. It's taken differently in an email then in person....

Lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 63 (view)

POFers, What Goes Through Your Mind When You First Hug The Opposite (or same) Sex? Posted: 6/8/2008 4:02:53 PM
I agree - a guys smell - the cologne ro lack of - next is the streng or gentleness of the hugs - if there is a kiss - I let my body tell me if it's worth another ..............and yes - a thought about would this be better with or without my high heels??? Kinda like it if I need heels, but so comfortable when I don't ....................

Lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

Do you stop daitng voluntarily or only when asked? Posted: 6/8/2008 3:43:32 PM
Have a had a number of dates - but only one relationship from this site and yes - it was a casino - a coffee shop - a hockey game - a round of pool - a skate on a lake. SO yes real dates - never a timmies......................

Lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 37 (view)

Do you stop daitng voluntarily or only when asked? Posted: 6/8/2008 3:41:54 PM
Too Funny ...........I like the thought of a relationship fairy - but mine must be mad at me ! Oh well.................yes - I will stop dating voluntarily - but will also stop if asked - the minute it moves to an intimate relationship - I become a one man woman. Afterall, that means to me that we are each seriously thinking of taking ti further - maybe a little "old school" but it is the way I am.

Lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 308 (view)

Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder) Posted: 6/7/2008 8:51:33 AM
WOW - eye opener - I think I just got dumped by that description - 3 months - he proposed 4 or 5 times ( I said yes it's good -but too soon - long engagement? ) had a ring - every so often - when we would have a really close moment - an hour later he would say he hated me . Day he dumped me - sweet emails in the morning - nasty one in the afternoon - threw my stuff on the lawn and then by the time I got there ( 40minutes away) loved me agian - and I didn't even do a thing that day ........................... so I said - no talking or back together, I deserve more respect than this yoyo system of yours. Never again will I let this happen..............................

lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 54 (view)

Having sex too early... Posted: 6/1/2008 7:23:22 PM
Great comments packagedealx3 - great name too!

lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 48 (view)

needing space ... Posted: 6/1/2008 7:19:40 PM
Why would you need space if you are in love , and a great relationship. Would you not be sharing instead - like "I am going out with the guys Saturday, I'll call you Sunday night". or I need a few days to think about us - it's moving so fast. Versus " I need some space - don't call - I'll call you ." Big difference in the two lines and what they imply.................. I would rather be with someone who explains their need - then orders me about.

lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 70 (view)

Trying to be a twisted Karma Posted: 6/1/2008 7:06:51 PM
No - never !! I beleive in the biblical adage of "Do not do to others what you would not have done to you" I try to treat everyone with an open mind - and open communication .

lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

The humblest compliment to you at the close of your relationship... Posted: 6/1/2008 7:03:36 PM
the humblest compliment is / was when the relationship didn't really end.........it changed but done with courtesy and respect.............The issues and situation raised politely over dinner and noted that although - he didn't feel we had a future as a couple or as lovers, he did very much want to continue and stay close friends............... Done with a type of class and maturity, which unfortunately , I haven't seen or experienced since. Oh BTW - he is married now and we all are still the best of friends.

lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Can man be happy and safisfied with one woman? Posted: 5/27/2008 3:53:04 AM
----------Not from my experience - in 19 yrs of marriage and three years of dating ------------

lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 144 (view)

Mens Rights Posted: 5/26/2008 6:22:23 PM
I a women , went to six different doctorsa - before I found one who would do my Tubal without - get this - my EX-Husband signing consent. errrrgh - the arrogance and stupidity !

Lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Headboard banging against wall? Posted: 4/8/2008 7:05:38 PM
Ok - easy solution Take headboard off bed Screw headboard to wall at right height Touch up paint over screws THen push bed up agianst Headboard But put a spacer block on the floor in front of the wheel to the wall ( to stop bed from moving and banging girlfriends head against headboard ) Figured this out after a then six year old daughter came down to breakfast saying " Mom I couldn't sleep -something was banging on the wall all night long" And hey - all the design shows on TLC attahc the Headboard to the wall not the bed

Lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

How do you evaluate other people? Posted: 3/26/2008 2:50:00 PM
No Numbers but are they clean and tke care of themselves? Do they have manners? Are they indepanedant yet considerate? Did they recognize I may also have an opinion and a brain? And did they stiff me with the bill or treat me ? Lastly - did they compliment my possessions but not me?

Lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 40 (view)

A kiss...What can you tell from a kiss? Posted: 3/26/2008 2:47:39 PM
The kiss either has to be sweet and gentle - or long and lingeing - softbut not WET! and no tongue down my throat ( but maybe a little on the lip ). Any how- easy does it - and I think what the woman are talking about is that you can tell if there is chemistry or not by the kiss. Afterall - who wants to date an uncle or brother???? Kisses with a potential lover shouldn't feel like that !

Lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

THE INK IS DRY!!!! Posted: 3/19/2008 8:18:24 PM
It is one year and 84 days, 20 K in debt - and it still feels wonderful! I have my children, my home and a free unfettered future. I am praying that he never trys to take me back to court on it again

Lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Please, some advice...... Posted: 3/19/2008 8:13:47 PM
Simple - you knew if he cheated on his wife - he may go back or may cheat on you. Married men may be fun - but they are never yours ! Always have to remember the reality. So dislike seeing him - Transfer to a different building - change jobs - but whatever you do - don't tell him where and if he shows up - get a retraining order - because then he has crossed the line into stalking.

Lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 80 (view)

when is a man in love? Posted: 3/19/2008 8:07:51 PM
It is when he something slips into the conversation like " just think what we will be like together years from now" or "you know we should come out here every spring" Then you know - he now sees you as a permanent person his life ( which means yes - he loves you).

Lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 76 (view)

STD'S and you! Posted: 3/9/2008 4:14:12 PM
STD's are spread by exchange of or contact with body fluids, particularly mucus & blood. Not only intercourse - but french Kissing, any kind of Oral, or just plain old sloppy kissers. A piece of Paper? Ask your mate - if he cringes anbout the question - or doesn't give you a straight answer - run ! Plus that piece of papaer only means nothing has showed up for the STD's they tested for.

Lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

Vibrators versus men - advantages --disadvantages Posted: 3/9/2008 3:50:14 PM
- cucmbers - that is the dark ages - try frozen bananas

Lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

What if the man left the physical stuff up to the woman to decide? Posted: 3/9/2008 3:27:58 PM
Until I know a man - he will have to iniate the hand holding and good bye kiss, etc. Once I know A man and am comfortable - I will initiate. But by know him - I mean understand him well enough to know what his limits are in public ( I have met men who hate a hand on their arm - or a quick kiss on the cheek in public). Where as I have known only tweo men who were comfortable with me taking their arm as I walked, or putting my hand on their arm as we talked. So men, why so shy about small public gestures of comfort ? When they are shy about these makes me wonder who they are worried about seeing it?

Lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 63 (view)

Is it wrong to really not be attracting to less attractive women Posted: 3/8/2008 9:58:20 AM
Interesting Question , The person I am with currently - Is definately physically "not my type" but from the first kiss there were fireworks and I love his personality and we could chat and hang out for hours? So, yes - give them at least a one date or chat chance . This has proven to me - that you never know.........

Lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

STOP BRINGING UP YOUR EX...GIRLS AND GUYS!!!! Posted: 2/27/2008 3:37:51 PM
I would love to - but why do middle age men always ask ; How long have you been divorced ? Do you still see your EX ? ( of course I do - there are kids involved and we work in the same field ) Why did you get divorced? Don't want to hear it - then don't ask . EVen when I keep the answers short and sweet - there are still usually questions. Believe it - he walked - I am here - yes held it together ( better for it) - talk about yourself or me - everyone else doesn't matter at this point.

Lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 268 (view)

What professions are a turn off? Posted: 2/23/2008 8:45:18 PM
Funny but the some off the same ones that are a turn off are a turn on ; Fireman , police man, and soldiers ( I don't date them as it would stress me out worrying about them on their job and whether they will live through it ) At the same time - thier dedication and selflessness and committment I find really attractive Absolute turn offs; Garbage men?( is there such a thing these days ) Fish packing anything that brings home a smell I would hate or anything I would find morally corrupt.

lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

Married or Divorcees Help!!!!! Posted: 2/6/2008 1:31:05 PM
Ok - here's a woman's view - I am now divorced, but when married was in a position similiar to the OP - I had the higher sex drive ( 3-4 times a week) and the husband was the once a month kinda guy, the minute the children arrived...............I didn't cheat - I accepted it and 18 years in he walked away ( with a another woman with the no sex drive like him). It was devastating. And before the woman bash me - I did not let myself go. What I learned - sex and sexual intimacy if important for you should not be ignored . Have you told here you want to go elsewhere to find out? She may not mind.................I know of two people who are aware their partners fuflfill their needs elsewhere ( safety first). I know look for a romantic and sexual partner. You need to resolve it . Children can sense any tension in a home.

lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 102 (view)

Women: Would you continue to date him if... Posted: 2/1/2008 12:07:16 PM
Dating is just that dating. Too many people think dating means sleeping around. I have no issue with a man I am dating - dating other women, but then we are not intimate yet. Once, there is the thought of bringing intimacy ( yes - physical sex) into the equation, both have to agree to be exclusive and answer the safe sex questions. In this day - why would I want to risk my health sharing what everyone else may have ?

lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 135 (view)

Would you date someone who HAD cancer? Posted: 1/30/2008 12:29:50 PM
just a thought......Know someone who did this ......beat cancer / and hated being reminded by the scar, so they had a beautiful custom colour tattoo of their favourite flower over it . Cost $80.00 compared to the $3,000 the plastic surgeon wanted.................I thought it was a great way to celebrate beating it !

lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Income/Car Status Posted: 1/14/2008 7:58:03 PM
well, As I woman who has had to pick up the tab, because he forgot his wallet ( yeah right) or disappeared to the bathroom ( both these guys expected night caps too) , or the next date told his brother ( in another language ) look at the great van she drives ( he didn't know I understood ! Or the date that noted how large the house was - you bet I wonder what he drives and earns. My EX had issues only when I began earnning more then him - not baggage , but a lesson learned . The Lesson - date men who can take care of themselves, which means not coveting my car , or house, or playing nice to get a free meal. And if I have to look at the income on a web site or check if he owns a car - then so be it. Especially since this is how they have evaluated me ( after the mandatory picture ) of course !

lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 50 (view)

One date then nothing!!! Posted: 1/6/2008 11:22:35 AM
It is pretty simple - Men avoid anything that may cause a scene. So they say they will call. I always take my clue from a couple of things they say or do; They are not interested if: - if the date ends right after dinner or movie ( or early) and he doesn't suggest continueing elseware - like coffee or a walk. - if they say your are so "nice" or "geniune" or "cute" - they are not that interested usually. - if they don't hold the door, try to hold your hand or try to sit close - probably no chemistry Put any of the two above and there will not be a call. If you are really interested why wait - email them and tell them short and sweet how much you enjoyed the date. Ask an open ended question and see if he responds.

lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

How many times have you been called 'THE ONE'? Posted: 1/6/2008 8:38:59 AM
Wow - hearing I am the one is now an immediate turn off after seven engagements with all but one of them called off by the men.! Each one a different story in itself !

lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 55 (view)

what is more important...the person picture, or taking a chance to get to know them 1st Posted: 1/5/2008 7:05:16 PM
A picture can say so much about the person and who they are and whatthey value. As per their "looks" it is only cursory. I have met men who were much better looking than their picture and it is becasue they took it with a cheap web cam. My photos on my dating profile ( this is my forum profile) are between one week old and two years old - but I put them up so men can see what a few extra pounds look like as size 12 doesn't mean alot to them. I like to see the pic - to see if a man smiles , is neatly dressed and the background is neat and clean. Things I want in a man I may date and ultimately choose to be closer too. I will correspond with a man with no picture, but expect one by the third email.

lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

The Gift of Goodbye Posted: 1/5/2008 6:47:32 PM
Does anyone have guidelines to recognize when something is beginning or worth pursueing?

Lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

OTTAWA/GATINEAU ~ MEET-n-GREET & DANCE NIGHT ~ SATURDAY, JANUARY 5th, 2008 Posted: 1/1/2008 9:12:06 PM
Will try to make it - start the new year dancing ~ !

Lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 286 (view)

Men who arrive for the 1st date with a rose.....do women like it? Posted: 12/19/2007 3:58:50 PM
On the first date? Are we talking the infamous coffee date? It would creep me out a little if he appeared with it on that date. If the date went well and he asked for a second date, a sweet gesture such as a flower or perhaps something he remembered or noted I liked would be nice. Roses though say alot, a different flower for me would be better ( gerbera daisy or a lily ) something different ( trinket, ornamnet ) would show creativity.

Lily3

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Would u still date a girl if she won't sleep with u? Posted: 12/16/2007 5:27:22 PM
I would love to hear what middle age men say to this.........as since being single I have been propositioned many times by men for casual sex ( no dates or long time friends ) or married men for sex on the side. UNfortunately for them, I am old fasioned - no to married men ( still in the marriage ) and believe in getting to know a person ( a month or 5 long dates - approx. ) before trusting them to a point of sleeping with them. This has lost me alot of second dates .........so middle age men - why don't you want to get to know the person first ?

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