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hotrodmike47

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 84 (view)

Christian Men Posted: 9/24/2008 2:40:31 PM
I could not agree with "widowedmom" and "tideliner" more. I am one of those "Christians" who has certainly fallen short in my walk especially when it comes to pre-marital relations. When I have followed hedonistic rationalization I have hurt myself and others so, at 60, I am going to try it His way. I know, for me, that it will be difficult...I have been a "fornicator" with the best (or worst) of them for most of my life. I have many Christian friends that have been married for 16, 20, 30 years or more and they formulated their marriages in the "correct" order...courting, learning about each other, falling in love, getting married and keeping sex special for that special person. I absolutely acknowledge that the label "Christian" is used with banality and that our non-christian brothers and sisters are not impressed by the "word" but may be humbled by our actions...maybe not. MissMewsix I am sorry that your were hurt...no one deserves to be hurt by Christians or non-christians and the fact that we confess our sins does not relieve us of the obligation to change our behavior so that we do not continue to hurt others...I am, as I am sure many other Christians are, a work in progress. I wish you well. Mike

hotrodmike47

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 760 (view)

Ever date someone with BPD? (Borderline Personality Disorder) Posted: 9/11/2008 7:41:00 PM
Good for you sweethang100. As a disabled Vietnam vet I have seen the prejudices both against vets and, primarily, disabled vets (and I am sure others). It is heartwarming to see that some folks still have compassion and empathy for others.

hotrodmike47

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Her breasts removed and guys do not want her anymore... Posted: 9/7/2008 1:29:31 PM
I have had a procedure that is life altering also...and I know for a fact that the same situation as you described in your narrative is not gender specific. If we have a disability and disclose it, in the sense of being honest and forthright, then those people who disregard us based on our "personality" are not being honest with us (people generally tend to rationalize their bad behavior as someone else's problem and not their own shortsightedness). Anyone has the right not to become involved with someone with a *perceived* disability but keep in mind that "Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed." - Michael Pritchard...you might just be surprised. IMESHO

hotrodmike47

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

HELP! I need an easy Appetizer! Posted: 8/17/2008 10:06:40 PM
Cocktail Wieners (Depends on whether you buy at Costco or regular food store) Homemade Chili Sauce (Brand Name) in the round, small jars Jalapeno Pepper Jelly (Knott's Berry Farm brand is the best) but any will do. Large crock pot For this size crowd depends on your budget. One jar of jalapeno pepper jelly to two jars of chili sauce. It is up to you if you heat the****ail wieners first. Mix as above...just that simple. Big Mike

hotrodmike47

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 491 (view)

would guys date a female cop? Posted: 8/17/2008 5:44:46 PM
To me it is sort of like asking "would you date a hero?" If you are dating to see if someone is "mate" material and you could not be "mated" with someone who is employed in a dangerous field (police, fire, fishermen, soldier, etc.) then the answer should be "no". If you are merely seeing someone without the expectation or desire to make it a LTR then it should not make any difference (unless, of course, you are doing something that could get you in trouble (drug dealer, fire-bug, Greenpeace worker, pacifist, etc.).

hotrodmike47

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Goodbye POF Posted: 7/23/2008 12:03:15 AM
The world is too dangerous for anything but truth and too small for anything but love. We can never really love anybody with whom we never laugh. Love is in the giver, not the gift. William Sloan Coffin

hotrodmike47

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 436 (view)

Is this a new social phenomenon??? Posted: 7/6/2008 3:20:54 PM
I had to think about this for awhile before I answered...but yes, I do think that what "aprincelyfrog" observed is new...say within the last 10 years or so. Men have become confused by what it means to be "a man". I think that women, in general (not all) have, through their desire for independence, emasculated men and "defeminized" themselves. Sex and intimacy are certainly important to men but may become less important as we age ...men are learning that we don't need a relationship to be happy with ourselves (something that women have professed to practice for some time - starting about 10 years or so). "What Women Want" has changed from looking for a strong man who takes care of his family to looking for someone who meets all their needs and "get's them". Men, frankly, are forced to look elsewhere for "fulfillment" as women, as a whole, are not meeting their needs (yes, I know-women have the same problem with men). The change in family values has taken it toll and I agree with what many of the female posters have said about this being a sad state of affairs...but we have done it to ourselves (men and women should share the guilt). I have no problem remaining on a "dating" site even though I share the OP's observations...life is always in flux and I can always hope that WE (men and women) will come to our senses and return to a time when men were men and women were creatures to be adored, pampered and truly loved as our companions and not our "equals".

hotrodmike47

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 37 (view)

I've been deeply wounded. . . Posted: 6/27/2008 1:12:57 PM
Your profile indicates that you are a devout Christian...good for you and your boldness of faith. Is your friend a devout Christian also? I have found out that when someone says they are Christian and then exhibit behavior contrary to common decency they are probably following the world and not their faith (my experience has been with gals not guys). I take it you have not been intimate with this new guy...he may have found that bovine that provides the free milk. My guess is that he is attractive, has a nice "line" to him, and knows how to play the game. Your profile is a challenge to some "If you're looking to play with someone's heart and feelings, then please move on" I apologize for my gender...they can be very uncaring at times and when they are uncaring it is NOT a mistake but a CHOICE. I will keep you in my prayers.

hotrodmike47

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

What's the best way to play this out? Posted: 6/20/2008 6:52:25 PM
Question 1: Yes you tell him...maybe there is confusion somewhere and you just need to clarify that confusion. I question just how good a "friend" you have in either him or his (your) other lady friend. Question 2: You need to concentrate on your children and not on your "love life". They are the important ones now. When people come in and out of their lives it hurts them...they have already lost the stability of having a mom and dad together. I realize I don't know the circumstances of where dad is but kids don't always know or completely understand why their family is not intact. And yes I am saying that in my opinion your feelings, needs and desires are secondary to theirs. Question 3: Let it go for the reason above. I do wish you well and I know that this is not an easy time in your life. You may be truly a victim of circumstances beyond your control but so are the children victims of those same circumstances and mothers ALWAYS PROTECT THEIR CHILDREN. You are in my prayers.

hotrodmike47

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 116 (view)

Pedophile or not? Posted: 5/25/2008 8:42:54 PM
A true pedophile can be treated but not cured of their condition. Stick with your intuition...while I understand your compassion you will be exposing yourself and those around you to an unhealthy individual...too many red flags (child molestation, alcoholism, violating an Order of Protection). He is probably required to register as a sex offender and you should be able to look him up on the internet...maybe the real story is different than he "confessed". You are very wise to ask for advice.

hotrodmike47

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Dating and Sex Honesty Test Posted: 5/15/2008 5:15:39 PM
I take it that 999 have responded so far...ergo, I would not jump on the chance to have sex right from the get-go. Maybe I consider myself more than an "animal" who instinctively does what comes natural. And yes I do judge someone because of their choices...to say otherwise would be, at the least, unrealistic and on the other side, just plain untruthful. We judge those who do not conform to the generally accepted norms of society. We judge other religions because they do not conform, etc. On the other hand, you can do what you want to to anyone who allows you to do it to...(hope that came out right!). I just know for a fact that for ME I want to get to know someone more than just one date (at the minimum) before I take the change of hurting myself or, more importantly, HER. I don't think that women have the market on associating intimacy (call it what you like) with deeper, heartfelt emotions. I was once offered FWB status with a girl that I loved very deeply but I ended the relationship because she wanted the best of both worlds (to be back in the dating world and keep our sex life active). Just my humble opinion.

hotrodmike47

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Do you believe God sends signs? Posted: 5/11/2008 3:04:24 PM
In my ever so humble opinion...absolutely! There are those who think that God does not micro-manage our lives...and to an extent that is true. But we are also His children and He deeply cares for us just as we care for our children. When our children (adult or adolescent) need our help don't we give them advise, hints or even try to clandestinely steer them into making better decisions? Of course we have free will but there are many signs that are given to us that we choose to ignore because we so need to be loved that we grasp at that slightest ray of hope that everything will be OK in spite of clear or maybe not-so-clear indications that maybe this is not the relationship for either of you. I know of what I speak...a faerie-tale romance was rekindled after a 42 year separation. The "idea" of this perfect union blinded me to obvious signs of incompatibility so I was willing to overlook all those bad feelings in hopes that the everything would be OK. Sadly it ended over 7 months ago and it was hard at first. We second and third guess ourselves...thinking "what could I have done better or different" that she would love me for the good person I am. In the end we are all really OK people but sometimes we are just BAD with each other. I firmly believe that there is someone out there for me and I hope I can hear that same little voice that I should have listened to before now tell me "yes, this is the one" and that one of the greatest tests of love is faith and also that faith is a great test of love.

hotrodmike47

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 184 (view)

Feel that there is no reason for me to live Posted: 4/24/2008 1:52:31 AM
My friend there are many reasons for you to live. I hope you really pay attention to all the very positive posts here. These are people who have been where you are now and not only are they surviving, they are working at making positive changes in their lives. I too have experienced some lousy things in the last 6 years and I thought I was a lost soul but it only takes one, kind person to let you know that YOU matter to them...and I think that you have more than a few kind souls here who do care for you. I will certainly keep you in my prayers and ask that a hedge of protection surround you while you get some help from a professional. I did and it changed my life! Respectfully, Mike in Hesperia

hotrodmike47

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

How do you evaluate other people? Posted: 3/26/2008 2:24:24 PM
My ever so humble opinion is that we initially determine if we are interested in contacting a single based on the appearance factor of 1 to 10. Where we choose to place the importance of that factor is really determined by our own self image. Example: I would never contact a 10 as I am only a 5 and I get enough rejection as it is or conversely, I'm a strong ten and the gal who just messaged me is a 6 at best and I can do so much better than that...or so we may feel. Then we read the profile. Now while I believe most people are basically honest we have come to also believe that truth is relative. Example: My pictures are current...meaning this month, last year, my 40th high school reunion? Single seems to mean...separated, married but looking, or actually single and available. Not telling the truth is no longer called lying, now it is "mis-spoke". Thin may mean anything from athletic to I'm a recovering meth addict. A few extra pounds can also span a wide range of how we perceive ourselves. So with that in mind...my bottom line is the scale is subjective at first but objective when you finally get to meet your date and then the real work begins. I will make observations as to positive and negative aspects of their character and watch to see that what they have said is followed by actions that stay the course of what I was led to believe...political, religious, life-style, good and bad habits, etc. Relationships are NEVER all positives and life is not always fair...treat others as you want to be treated, and use your head AND heart to discern your best path.

hotrodmike47

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 457 (view)

What have you learned about online dating here? Posted: 3/11/2008 3:56:50 AM
DO IT ANYWAY 1.People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; forgive them anyway. 2.If you are kind, people may accuse you of being selfish or having ulterior motives; be kind anyway. 3.If you are successful, you will win friends and create enemies as well; succeed anyway. 4.What you spend years building, someone can destroy overnight; build anyway. 5.If you find serenity and happiness, others may be jealous; be happy anyway. 6.People often forget tomorrow, the good deeds you do today; do good anyway. 7.Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough; give your best anyway. Be upfront with your picture both with a close-up and a full body picture (and show the date of the pictures). Be honest with your profile, write something interesting and then hope that someone with intelligence will read it and, who knows, maybe then they will figure that there is more to this place than we give it credit for...it's a tool to be used with tender hands. That's just my opinion and I could be wrong!

hotrodmike47

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 87 (view)

Plentyoffish Voice Mail and SMS Messaging System. Posted: 2/15/2008 12:30:10 AM
Thank you for adding this service. I am sure it will compliment your existing and very nice service. Just a note (don't hate me) but received is spelled incorrectly in a number of places in admin messages. Just wanted to let you know...it is a great sight and amazing that you are running it out of your apartment.

hotrodmike47

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 50 (view)

Romance.....a thing of the past ??? Posted: 1/4/2008 5:44:16 AM
To me romance is a two edged sword. On the one hand it is part of the “courting” process where we get to know our potential mate and secondly, it is the glue that helps to hold the more mature relationship together as two people become more intimate with each other. So many profiles insist that there must be “chemistry” (I like you, you like me…we are keeping our meals down when we go out for dinner, stuff like that) but they must understand that the even more important second phase should deal with sharing, caring, and focusing your complete attention on seeing not only the way we are perfectly matched for each other but also how we deal (as a couple) with the reality of not being perfectly matched. I believe that we, for the most part, can be intelligent and mature enough to understand that “romance” can be the aloe to minimize the burn of a budding, new relationship. Men may feel that “romance” is a means to obtaining “sex” while women may use “sex” as a catalyst for obtaining “romance”. I feel that both positions are used too much in today’s dating world…both are greatly flawed and the flaws are evident in the many forums where guys can’t understand why the gals don’t fall all over them and the gals wonder why they get “fooled” so many times by these wonderful but ultimately shallow guys they find here. Myself, I believe that romance is completely necessary to give and receive and offers a better chance of investing your time in a healthy partnership. I think it worked well ,for the most part, in our parent’s relationships (boomer’s parents) but the current philosophy of “hooking up”, FWB’s, polygamous serial dating, and targeting and admiring those who live the hedonistic lifestyle should not be surprised that they get the man or woman they deserve and then complain with sweeping generalizations that “all men” or “all women” are “adam-henrys” (a-holes). Bottom line: The mutuality of romance is essential. If you go into a relationship with high expectations, with a positive and giving attitude, but still understand the concept of “self” you can absolutely and pro actively find a partner of value that will appreciate you for the complete you. When you are both are ready for it, romance can certainly (and should) include intimacy (sex), transparency, and a profound understanding of both partners. Without romance many seemingly healthy relationships simply dry up and blow away like dust in the wind. Romance keeps you on your toes and, if things go really well, romance keeps you between the sheets, and allows others to witness your feelings for each other. People are not stupid…you can tell when a couple has lost romance and you soon see that intimacy is the first causality…and that is not good for either partner.

hotrodmike47

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 242 (view)

Match.com are irresponsible Posted: 12/28/2007 9:29:58 PM
I have dealing with this company for some time and trying to resolve payment issues from years and months ago. What I found out is that when you are a non-paid member, the company will have their employees send you an email that is expressly intended to get you to pay (even for the trial period) so that you can reply to this "interested" persons message. Of course, after you pay up, that person's profile is unavailable. Now the trick is to get your money back during the trial period or to keep your credit card from being charged after you resign. Both Match.com and Chemistry.com are run by the same people. Check out BBB.org for details.

hotrodmike47

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Found her right here thanks PoF! Posted: 12/26/2007 6:01:46 AM
You gave me a boost this Christmas with your wonderfully positive post. I pray that you will always be happy with your relationship. All you have to remember is that she is a precious as the most rare of jewels...because true love is just as rare. May you both be blessed. You are in my prayers! Mike

hotrodmike47

Joined: 10/21/2007

Msg: 196 (view)

DO MEN TAKE BREAK-UPS THE HARDEST????????? Posted: 12/16/2007 3:17:23 AM
From my experience it is not easy for either party if the relationship was really meaningful. Recently I went from being very happy, very engaged, very much in love, and very willing to make the relationship work at any cost to being told that I was not even her boyfriend anymore and to, effectively, go away. I knew the relationship was somewhat one sided but I had no idea that betrayal would be so easy from someone who told me she loved me. Turned out she had been contacted by an ex boyfriend who had dropped her, she had been destroyed by the breakup, and he wanted her back. It was me or he and she chose him. I'm ok now but it was tough for the first couple of months. What could I have done to make things come out different...and I was willing to do anything, anything. So I have decided to leave things up to the LORD and put my love-life into HIS hands. Now I just have to pay attention and see what HE has in mind for me...a little more trusting that I first thought I would be after what happened. There are a lot of beautiful women here at POF and I am very patient. Someone once said, "The greatest test of faith is love", but it can also be looked at as "the greatest test of love is faith".

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