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Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 106 (view)

Cannot log in Posted: 1/16/2008 5:40:54 PM
Hi, I have been using the system for a while with no problem - I was even on the system earlier today with no problem. Now I go to log in and I get a message telling me that I can use my e-mail address to login or to change my internet privacy settings to accept cookies. I have done both of those options - although I could login before with the setting as it was I did change it - still won't let me login. Any advice, solutions?

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 125 (view)

Does anyone else raise two kids completely on their own?? Posted: 1/8/2008 8:10:31 PM
I have always been a single parent. My parnter left when I was pregnant, never looked back and didn't provide support of any kind. Since then, I raised my boy by myself (I should point out that I had no parents, siblings or extended family). I went on to adopt more kids by myself. I have made lots of mistakes, but kept (and keep) putting one foot in front of the other - one day a time. My boy grew up in a pretty good way (so did I for that matter) and I consistently get compliments about all my other kids. One thing that I did to help was to connect with other single parents and we started a cooperative. Back then we just traded off watching each others kids so we could have a night out, get a few hours alone time or just go grocery shopping without kids. Now I work with single parent families with challenges to create other kinds of support networks including: - babysitting cooperatives (trade off babysitting hours using tokens to keep things fair), - meal cooperatives (groups of single parents get together and make large quantities of meals to make together and each family packages their share to take home for the week - a great time and money saver for working parents) -recreational and school car pools, -social and support networks. You may not have a family to support you but you can create a "family of choice" to help you raise your kids in a good way. I know it is not easy but hang in there. My guidance to you. Trust yourself and your instincts. Love your kids and laugh with your kids everyday. Ignore the quick opinions and judgements. When you are feeling down or vulnerable only seek support from people that you know 100% will not kick you when you are already down. Just keep doing what you have to do to raise your kids in a good way. Your children were entrusted to you for a reason - that is a pretty amazing gift so you must be a pretty amazing person (and I don't mean by the courts or by your ex-partner) to be worthy of taking care of such treasure. No matter what keep believing in yourself. Best wishes.

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 32 (view)

Discipline...He is driving me insane Posted: 1/8/2008 7:07:31 PM
I work with behaviour management and special needs children, teach parenting classes and work with families to develop parenting skills. I am also a parent and use these practices with my children. The results - amazingly articulate, calm and happy kids. 1. Remind child that ______ is not acceptable behaviour and they will go on time out if behaviour continues. If behaviour persists 2. Tell the child calmly and firmly "TIME OUT". 3. Immediately take the child (calmly and firmly) to the time out spot. Important - do not speak with the child about their behaviour, don't reason, don't respond or react to crying, whining, tantrumming, yelling etc. 4. Put timer on - one minute per year of the child - your fearless four year old would have four minutes. 5. After the timer goes off, go to the child, get down at their level and ask if they are ready to talk about what happened. If no, just quietly tell them to let you know when they are ready (for really upset or stubborn kids you may have to come back every couple minutes and ask again until they are calmer and ready). If yes... 6. Get down close to their level and gently hold their hands in yours. -Ask them "Why did you go on time out?", (you can coach them a bit). -Ask them "What are the rules?" (what were they told etc. basically the rule they broke that required a consequence). If the child has done something that requires remedial action (eg - hit someone) ask them "how are you going to make this better?' (you can coach them with this again and support them in making amends) - If they are resistant or argumentative about their actions - ask them "How would you feel if someone did that to you?" After amends are made. -Ask them "What will happen if you do it again?" (you can help remind them that they will do another time out). -Tell them "Okay" and ask them "What's the deal? (-eg. If I climb on the roof, I go on time out). 7.I try to end the conflict with something positive , verbal praise for dealing with the problem, a hug or a gentle rub on the shoulder or back, thank you for apologizing, hug and a reminder that I love them and believe in them - whatever works for you and your child. MOST IMPORTANT -- Follow through!! If you say it - DO IT. BE CONSISTANT. The first two weeks of consistantly repeating this pattern are the hardest - but you will usually see it start to work within the first couple of days. Most recently I had a child that may have had to do this between forty and a hundred (three minute) time outs every day. (he was a very abused and neglected little boy) Within a few weeks his behaviour started to change and within a year his behaviour dramatically changed for the positive. One thing to keep in mind is that as children change and grow they are interested in exploring the world and the boundries of that world more and more. Sometimes acting out behavior is just a child looking for containment - they are testing you to see if you can keep them safe. My parenting mantra "DON'T RESPOND", "DON'T RESPOND", DON'T RESPOND" (usually muttered under my breathe as they are doing the funky chicken tantrum on the floor while on time out) In the words of my Grandmother - "don't worry - this too shall pass". All of these experiences will be stories that you will laugh about one day.

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Christmas ..... What does it mean to you and why? Posted: 12/10/2007 11:16:01 PM
I was a street kid once upon a time and didn't have any happy times at Christmas or any other time of the year. Now, I believe that Christmas is about being together and creating special moments and magic. I feel that I am the foundation that positive things can grown from for my own children to always carry with them throughout their lives. As a family, we always try to do something together to contribute to our community - work at the food bank, adopt Christmas families, make up and deliver hampers - I want my kids to know that there are always people that struggle and they can always do something to help. They see, feel and understand because of their own contributions to making things better for others. For us - we decorate the outside of our house so that when we drive or walk up to the house it just feels warm and cheery. The inside has Christmas sights (lights and decorations everywhere), smells (baking, wood fire, tree) and sounds (singing, piano, carols and laughter) to make everyone feel warm, welcome and at home. Christmas eve friends and family all come together to visit and eat loads of appetizers and just be together. A couple of years ago - we all went on a horse drawn sleigh ride around town and then went back home to warm up and enjoy each others company. Before they go to bed - my kids all open one gift - I always get them new pajamas (in red of course) and they slip them on before leaving their annual treat for Santa and his reindeer and checking the NORAD site to see if Santa really is on his way. Christmas morning the kids get up and grab their stockings then they all climb up on my bed and open them together. Every year they get a Christmas ornament and a Christmas book so that when they leave home they will have one decoration for each year of their life to start their own traditions. The books they, hopefully, will read to their own children and grandchildren one day - just as I read to them all throughout their lives. Christmas day - we don't even get out of our pajamas, we relax, munch on leftovers from the night before and the kids just play and have fun all day. Boxing day, we make and eat Christmas dinner - everyone is not so tired from the excitement and preparing for Santa to visit and it takes lots and lots of the stress out of things for me. My family decided to just enjoy the season, take the time to recognize that we are blessed to have each other and the life we live. I feel grateful for all we have and that we can be together as a family - a pretty functional one too. Everyone gets one gift from Santa, one family gift and new red pajamas. Not being so materialistic and just spending time together, creating good memories and giving ourselves permission to do things our own way makes this season the most wonderful time for us. Sounds very Pollyanna and somewhat like a Norman Rockwell image - but believe it or not it is real!

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

((((((P.O.F))))) Let me know what you think....... Posted: 11/9/2007 6:01:03 PM
I disagree with you in laying all the issues out on the table like you have in your profile. I think it shows that you are hurting and vulnerable and makes you a target for people only interested in "getting to" vulnerable people. Perhaps, NOW, is not the best time to be seeking someone for a relationship. It is okay to take some time, think about things, get on with your life, doing the things you like and make you happy - just for yourself. After some time has passed and the issues that happened to you before have had time to settle and heal themselves - perhaps that would be a better time for you to post your profile in a positive frame of mind. Take care of yourself - you deserve it.

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Recycling Posted: 11/3/2007 10:30:19 PM
There is one company in Calgary that apparently does recycle styrofoam. I was so happy when I found this out and after calling the company personally I loaded up my vehicle with years of the stuff and took it all into the city. Got to the place and the front door was locked so I went around to the back door where I stood and had three guys staring at me for a while from across the warehouse. Eventually, they communicated that NO - they don't take styrofoam - "Too Dirty" to take it from people (yes, even if you clean it) they only take styrofoam from large corporations. More research into the recycling aspect of styrofoam and I found out the machine needed just to compress/package unwanted styrofoam costs in excess of $10,000 (for one machine) and therefore not many companies or individuals can afford this kind of expenditure. Since that time I have found out that even though that company does recycle styrofoam - they apparently will only take the material from industrial contracts - no community or business materials accepted. Perhaps more pressure on community governments will make it happen.

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

For older women... [Tracked Thread] Posted: 11/2/2007 11:21:12 PM
I read the book "How Stella Got Her Groove Back". I don't have a temper and never throw things but that book hit the wall right after I read the part when the twenty year old man tells the 40 year old woman he doesn't know what he wants to do with his life yet - and she still proceeds with pursuing the relationship. The whole concept of a much younger person becoming involved with a much older person seems totally inappropriate to me. Do you even know who you are yet and which direction your life will take. I read part of your profile before posting this - looking for someone else to fill you up with the knowledge you seek is not what life is all about. You are young, yes, go out and be young - find yourself and learn what is right for you the old fashioned way - doing it on your own. Who I am and what I have to share with someone comes from the knowledge and experiences that I had - me - myself -out there learning for myself, making mistakes, listening and watching people in the real world. Instead of trying to glean knowledge and experiences off much older women - go out find your own - you may just have some fun while doing it. Besides the best stories to share with your children and grandchildren are the ones from your own experiences - much better than the stories of "someone told me once".

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Recycling Posted: 11/2/2007 10:02:41 AM
We recycle pretty much everything. Corrugated cardboard, mixed paper (yes that includes toilet rolls), milk jugs, hard plastic, soft plastic, metal, newspapers and we compost as well. I live close to Okotoks where there is a recycling building and I have a few friends that save up all their plastics and travel out once a month to deposit it there rather than throw it all out. The plastics are sorted by number (hard plastic) and all soft plastics are together. If you use the Turner Valley recycling all plastics regardless of type or number (hard and soft) can be deposited together. There is a compost bin site that is open six months of the year for people to bring all their organic waste- I guess we are not supposed to compost through the winter- I do anyway. My pet peeve is styrofoam packaging - it is in everything, it will never return to the earth and no one is Calgary or around Calgary will accept it for recycling. I even stopped purchasing food from the grocery store if it has styrofoam packaging including fresh meats- I would rather spend a little more at the butcher shop or counter and have it wrapped in brown paper than have more styrofoam floating around the planet.

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