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Thread: Single 30 Year old Father & Scared.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Single 30 Year old Father & Scared. Posted: 2/1/2013 11:32:25 AM
It's better to be single than in a bad relationship. Relax. Just breathe!

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 36 (view)

Kissing Etiquette Posted: 2/1/2013 11:25:58 AM
If you want to have a relationship with a woman, here is the rule: Make sure you kiss her within the first three dates. If you don't, the chances of the relationship progressing or having a relationship at all drop like a rock. The first big kiss is the catalyst that takes the relationship to the next level. What kind of kiss? - not one like you give your mamma! You make it a toe-curling kiss that makes her cry "daddy!", one that she will never forget. Do you smell what I'm cooking?!

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

I'm about to be 33... and I haven't had any dating success Posted: 2/1/2013 11:14:16 AM
Dating can be hard. Like finding a needle in a haystack. But at least you had a few short-term relationships. Some people can't even get date one. So hold your head up, you are doing some things right. The first woman/ breakup was your fault. There is nothing wrong with doing a background check on a prospective partner. In fact, if you understand women and love, it's actually a compliment that they would be so interested in you to take the trouble. Women who are falling for you want to discover everything about you and are natural first-rate investigators. For a good relationship, both must be easy to get along with. A control freak is not good relationship material - for anyone. So, with the second women you dropped, you did the right thing. Hopefully, you will spot them quicker in the future. Don't take this whole dating hamster dance so seriously. Relax. Breathe! It's better to be single than in a bad hamster dance.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 37 (view)

30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards? Posted: 2/1/2013 10:55:44 AM
By the way, some women specifically want a man who is divorced.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

how to be safe Posted: 2/1/2013 8:52:55 AM
Okay, this is a tricky one. Here is your answer. It is okay to have up to two "coffee dates". Sometimes a woman needs up to two before she is comfortable enough. It's reasonable. Other times, for the second date, the man can pick her up at her home. It depends on the two people. But he is ready to pick you up. Why is this, you ask? - because women fall in love slower than men, both your love levels don't match yet so you don't understand each other. They may get closer quick though (if it's to be a relationship, it's too early in the dance to tell) if he will go along with you on this one. Make nice-nice but convince him. Did I mention this dating thing is a ginormous cat-and-mouse game?! When you can see the whole dating and relating dance for what it truly is, it's as funny as a dancing hamster.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

Former Girlfriend Is My Best Friend Posted: 2/1/2013 8:21:36 AM
Your love level is just not there for this woman. As close as you two are, if it were ever going to happen and be worthwhile, it would have happened a long time ago. You can't force attraction. It's either there, something right from the start, or it probably never will be there. Plus, why mess up a perfectly good friendship?! There are plenty of other women out there, and you only need one.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 47 (view)

Should I keep seeing this guy? Posted: 1/31/2013 8:07:55 PM
Oh yes, and he is breaking dates too. That's another problem. People who both love each other and have integrity don't break dates.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 41 (view)

The Older we get-The Less Time thats Needed for a LTR thats leads into Marriage??? Posted: 1/31/2013 7:57:42 PM
You don't need to be with someone all the time to have a great relationship. Some people see each other as little as once a week and have awesome relationships. I'm not saying this is for everybody, but thinking you need to be joined at the hip to have a great relationship is just not true. At it's core, a relationship is a continuing serious of worthwhile dates.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 79 (view)

He refuses to take any blame! Posted: 1/31/2013 7:51:39 PM
Good for you on letting him go. But you should also cut contact - stop answering the phone - you are leaving the door open for him to abuse and reject you again - haven't you been hurt enough? When is enough, enough? Cut the cord. They have to be mentally healthy to be good relationship material - for anyone.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 44 (view)

Should I keep seeing this guy? Posted: 1/31/2013 7:47:07 PM
It's not a good relationship, I'm sorry to say. Women need romance in a relationship for it to be fulfilling - and last. That's what it's missing - no dates, no variety, always the same old, same old thing.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 889 (view)

What makes a woman over 40 sexy? Posted: 1/31/2013 4:42:31 PM
Two words - Christie Brinkley. Take that all you would-be cradle robbers!

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

First dateon POF ! Posted: 1/31/2013 3:39:24 PM
Oh brother - I think some of you guys are more nervous than she is - and she is the one going on the date.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 39 (view)

can you ever learn to re-trust some1? Posted: 1/31/2013 1:39:36 PM
Yes, sometimes trust and love can be restored - I would recommend seeking counseling as quickly as possible to save this marriage and for the children's sake.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

First dateon POF ! Posted: 1/31/2013 1:18:25 PM
Good for you on getting your first date on POF! Just remember it's not really a date and the emails and phone calls don't count - they are strangers until you meet - to form a true connection, you have to see the other 93% of communication such as body language. So do remain positive but don't feel bad if he does not turn out to be Mr. Right - one will if you keep meeting. Main thing is to meet in a public place - I prefer a restaurant, there are more places to wait, such as the bar or benches inside and out, and the atmosphere is usually better. Coffee shop is fine, but it seems more like a business meeting to me. Sit at a table across from him so that it does not invite octopus men to touch too much or too soon. Also, it helps to keep you focused and helps you look like you are interested when you are looking straight ahead at them. The experts say keep it to 10 or 15 min. But if both are mature, people-people, both are every nice, and love meeting new people - let's just say I break the rule on this one and have dinner. Keep the conversation light, funny, stay off serious and unromantic subjects. Dont' argue about who should pay - no one knows what to do on this, everyone is confused, so just go with the flow and don't make waves. Be ready for a kiss at the end, if he goes for it - if you like him, tell him with your kiss and kiss him back. If not, just turn your head and he'll get the hairball. Don't make another date while on the date. Give yourself time afterward to process everything with your intuition. Besides, it's moving too fast. Give love a chance to bloom. Above all use your intuition, if anything does not seem right, dont' give out your number or any personal information, and have an excuse if you want to leave early. Make sure you park in the most public, well-lit area close to the front doors of the place, or where the most people can see you. Get in your car after the date, lock the doors, and wait until he leaves first - make sure he does not follow you home. It has happened. Not trying to scare you, this stuff is rare. If you want more tips, feel free to message me. Good luck and report back to tell us how it went!

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards? Posted: 1/31/2013 12:53:29 PM
I know people divorce for varied reasons, sometimes through no fault of their own but to specifically address your statement I don't necessarily agree that having had a marriage which ended divorce = "proven relationship skill". As a matter of fact, it sounds just the opposite to me. - Okay, I'll give you that - it's not perfect. A divorce could be seen, on the one hand, as a failure. However, is't a breakup to a large degree very similar? That being said, I just don't think it's realistic to find someone who has never had a relationship and a breakup before, in your age group? Remember, on top of that, both people have to fall in love with each other, be reasonably easy to get along with, and have a minimum of personal liabilities to have a good chance at a happy relationship that can go the distance. This thing is hard enough as it is without putting unrealistic expectations on it. Just keep something in mind - you are not looking for someone perfect - none of us are perfect. Including yourself. I'm just trying to help, put things in perspective. If it helps any, at one time (a brief period), when I was closer to your age, I thought the same way, and thought divorce was a negative - but I later realized I was wrong.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

asked how many women I've met from here Posted: 1/31/2013 12:38:31 PM
^^ "not enough" is a good answer too.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

What kind of relationship are you looking for here? Posted: 1/31/2013 12:11:56 PM
Let me put it to you this way - there are a lot more people here that are not what could be considered good relationship material compared to other "places". They have to "go" somewhere, right?! Where would you think they would end up? However, there are some winners here. And you only need to find one. There is always a silver lining.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

Going on a date Friday I did some investigating and... Posted: 1/31/2013 12:06:53 PM
No need to even ask.. just get her home phone number (cell if she does not have one), call her on a weekend and ask her out on a weekend (if it even goes this far) - that should chase her away automatically if she really is engaged, no way that's going to happen with a fiance' around. This will weed out almost every married person. The married / engaged ones will disappear.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

He mustve been on the Down Low... Posted: 1/31/2013 11:57:01 AM
Some of them don't show a preference for the other sex and cheat until LATER in the relationship. And I'll tell you something else, while we are on the subject - some guys like to joke about their SO and another women kissing and more - right up until it happens to them, and they feel the reality of rejection hitting them in the stomach like a baseball bat. And it does happen to them sometimes. I'll tell you, some of these male fantasies are the stupidest things ever.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

He mustve been on the Down Low... Posted: 1/31/2013 11:33:00 AM
It's a really sad situation sometimes when a gay person is married to straight person and cheats on them, and unfortunately, it happens a lot. There is a huge worldwide support group out there called Straight Spouse, so unfortunately, it's fairly common... I don't know the exact statistics, but I'm sure millions of marriages are affected by this.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

asked how many women I've met from here Posted: 1/31/2013 11:17:57 AM
Yes, it's really not relevant to anything, and to be honest, you should probably not talk too much about other women to a prospective date. It can be a turnoff. I don't care what they do, you are supposed to have self control. But you really can't just ignore the question (unless it's something so you rude that you don't want to talk to the person anymore). There are two best ways to handle it: 1) Tell a joke - sometimes they laugh so hard they forget the original question! Tell her you have met 9,999 women but you are trying to cut down! 2) When it starts to get like an interview, give a short, brief answer, such as, "I have not been here too long, and it's good because I met you! If she keeps asking serious questions too soon (TMI), turn the tables on her - give her honest answer and then ask the same question right back, put the shoe on the other foot and show her how it feels. After you answer, say, "How about you - same question". This will usually shut down the stupid interview and weeding out process. Never lie, but don't share your dirty laundry either. You have a lifetime of experiences, both good and bad, but only a limited time together to share - love is a positive emotion, so share more good rather than bad. Make sense? Never lie, but keep the conversation more light and casual - it' simply more romantic - which is the name of the game.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Going on a date Friday I did some investigating and... Posted: 1/31/2013 10:50:37 AM
I'm not sure it matters much because I suspect you are still on the rebound and won't get in too deep anyway. Additionally - what the others have said about putting your trust in facebook is correct - the info may not be correct. I just saw a post last week about someone saying a person was a scammer because they had many profiles on many sites - the fact is there are companies, sales and online profile brokers who pull/steal private profiles and use them on start up dating sites as fakes. Many of you have profiles up on other sites you have never heard of before, I'll guarantee it. This may kill online dating for good.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

not used to being in a LTR anymore..how do I do it? Posted: 1/31/2013 10:24:39 AM
I hate to say this, but you are probably still on the rebound from your divorce, and not ready to love a new person deeply yet (but no one can tell you for sure, even you won't know until the day the process has completely ended). It might take 6 months to 2.5 years more. But that, again, is just a rough estimate. But you should still date... it is soothing and along the way you could make some friends, and it's good practice too. But the answer is yes, you can absolutely love again! And I'm sure you will!

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 195 (view)

Getting Blocked on POF Posted: 1/31/2013 6:29:37 AM
How would one know if they were blocked?

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 46 (view)

Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same. Posted: 1/31/2013 6:08:21 AM
What does this mean? : "Times are different women don’t need men anymore, financially that is… and yet there’s always the “bears den” to provide the toys…. It’s a sad existence for people."

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

The Older we get-The Less Time thats Needed for a LTR thats leads into Marriage??? Posted: 1/31/2013 4:48:53 AM
I have your answer and unfortunately you are not going to like it. The ability to notice red flags actually diminishes as we get older. We think we know more because we are older and should be wiser, and we may be aware of some things that we did not know when we were younger, but overall, the biggest red flags are harder for us to spot as we age. Red flags, also called intuition and gut feelings, are non-picture memories. Usually we think of memories as visual. If I say the word "Horse" to you, you don't see the word in your mind. rather, you see a picture of a horse in your mind. But gut feelings are different. These are memories of people's body language, gestures, and facial expressions. And, the majority of these intuitive memories are formed in our childhood years. In basic, a lot of these red flags give us clues as to the mental health of a person, and even more, whether a person likes us, dislikes, is indifferent, or loves or does not love us, and to what degree. Why is this so vital, you ask? Because how much a person loves you is directly related to the quality of the relationship. It tells you what chance this person has of accepting us or to our horror, possibly rejecting us. And we want to avoid rejection because that can cut like a knife - literally in some cases. Look what happened to Jody Aria's boyfriend. He finally broke up with her after five months, and then she came back with the ultimate counter-rejection. If he had very good intuition and was following it, he may have seen the signs of her less than stellar mental state much earlier like some of his friends did, and might not have gotten so deeply involved with her in the first place. But like many men, he was probably so taken with her beauty and feminine charms he did not see anything else. But women usually have better intuition than men, which is part of the reason they have most of the power when it comes to love and marriage. Women file first for divorce two-times more than men. Did I mention who is really in control of relationships? Security experts will tell you that intuition is your best defense. This is also true regarding love relationships. It can steer you toward good relationships and away from poor ones, if only you will listen to it. Are you listening? But as we age, these memories tend to fade to some degree. So, we actually grow more relationship dumb as we get older. This is evidenced by the fact that 2nd marriages have a higher divorce rate than even first marriages. With that said, it is possible to strengthen your intuition with practice, and striving to become more aware of these "feelings". So the answer is you should take more time and go slower, not faster.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Please review my profile Posted: 1/30/2013 9:00:36 PM
You need a smiling, teeth-showing pic as your main pic - this is the most important thing. Take this line out: "Please do not talk to me with seriously improper grammar and spelling." - One of the main things is to keep it positive... negative things can backfire and turn off even the girls who can write. besides, it's unnecessary - if you receive mail you don't like, just don't mail them back. Simple enough. The main problem with posting your phone number for the world to see, is that it can be difficult to get rid of spammers and stalkers and bunny-boilers like Jody Arias once they have it - by writing a few messages and looking at their profile first, and even meeting them first, you'll be able to judge their character much better. Also, it can make you look desperate. And it may be against the rules of the site.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

Arrogant? Posted: 1/30/2013 8:50:48 PM
I don't think it's too bad for your age range, you probably don't want to be too classy at that age. I thought it was funny and I've seen stuff that was much worse. But clean humor is very attractive. I would suggest a couple of things though: 1) Clean it up a little... make sure there are no lines in there you would not read to your mother, close enough that she could slap your face. That should cover everything, LOL! 2) You need to get away from the list format and write a couple of paragraphs. Then just weave a little of that humor in.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Guy who minimally texts Posted: 1/30/2013 3:44:57 PM
Oh my... when are people going to learn that texting is not a good way to build a relationship. Call on the phone (voice) to get a date, and talk in person. The texting, particularly in the early stages of a relationship is dangerous.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

How often do you message someone living long distance from you? Posted: 1/30/2013 3:40:31 PM
LDR's are hard if not impossible, and can be expensive, and if you can't kiss somebody with some regularity, chances are high the relationship is going to go south. Some people just don't think things through, and are ignorant about issues such as this.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

any suggestions? Posted: 1/30/2013 1:27:17 PM
I'd like to see a pic with a bigger smile and loose the glasses so they can see your face better.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Thoughts or opinions? Posted: 1/30/2013 1:25:29 PM
The most important thing is to have a smiling, teeth showing head shot. You look cool in your pic, but you need to present to your audience. I think it's cool, but I'm a guy. And nothing in a profile works better for women than a big teeth-showing smile.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 48 (view)

40+ Never Married And No Kids--What's Wrong With That? Posted: 1/30/2013 1:16:51 PM
And I'll tell you something else... these dating site profiles have way to many questions/answers - frankly, a lot of it is TMI and just stupid... there would be a lot less weeding out and lot more real world matches if there were less revealed about people, stupid things that really don't count - such as whether you have ever been married or not. All you need is a few paragraphs to see that you are literate, a pic so you can find your date, and "single" - not much else. These things should be more like a curiosity approach advertisement. Instead, they are looking more and more like Spacebook everyday.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 46 (view)

Why contact me then not write back? Posted: 1/30/2013 1:03:20 PM
Could be any one of 101 reasons. The closer it is to the beginning of a relationship/possible relationship, the more often they will flake out. Don't let it bother you, you only need to find one good one.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 39 (view)

Do any males really use this site just for friendships? Posted: 1/30/2013 12:58:49 PM
Some people are only here for the forums.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

10 Year Age Difference Posted: 1/30/2013 10:49:56 AM
Yes.... women mature quicker from a relating standpoint, and typically have about ten years on the average man as far as relationships go. Should be a good match in that respect. The only issues are, are you compatible as people? The other issues are in your mind - or the in-laws' mind.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

30's = Time to Loosen Up One's Standards? Posted: 1/30/2013 10:42:55 AM
Yes, your standards are too high. What's wrong with a guy who has been divorced? I date divorced women? Do you really think you are going to date someone who has not had a relationship? And what's the real difference between divorce and having had a girlfriend and a breakup in the past? Do you really think you are going to find a 40 year old virgin who is the catch of the day? Besides, if the guy is divorced, it means he knows enough about women to know that many want to get married and so he did the right thing... so you are going to turn down guys who have proven relationship skills? I don't think you have thought this through very well. Kids are more complicated though. You'll have to decide that for yourself. But going out on a coffee date to meet a few guys would not kill you. Some of you could probably use the practice dates anyway.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 211 (view)

Does our partner have the right to know? Posted: 1/30/2013 10:26:48 AM
The answer is no, people should not talk about their past partners. Don't kiss and tell. Each person has a limited time with their partner, but a lifetime of experiences. There is no way to share everything, no time... and the negative stuff can be a turnoff. So share good stuff instead of bad. Additionally, openness and honesty are two different words with two different meanings, that's why we have them. If you want to share all your dirty laundry that is unloving, get a therapist, that's their job.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

I can't take him seriously Posted: 1/30/2013 10:08:53 AM
You do realize that all the online stuff does not count, right? I don't care how many years you have been talking and how many love letters there have been. Attraction and body language can make it or break it in the first five minutes you meet face-to-face. You are strangers until you meet.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Are respectful men difficult to find online Posted: 1/30/2013 9:54:31 AM
Okay, this was the first time you met and should be a short coffee date or no more than dinner. You guys turned it into a full blown date. Not surprisingly, he thought you were really interested in him. The answer is, a kiss on a first date is acceptable, even french kissing. But ONLY if the woman actually likes the man that much. Since you really don't like him enough, it's probably not going to turn into a relationship. In most happy long-term relationships that last, the couple kissed passionately on the first date. And I don't mean a peck like you give your mamma! You BOTH did nothing wrong (but the extended coffee to real date was a mistake - avoid that in the future) - the spark was just not there on your end. When I say it's a ginormous cat-and-mouse-game, that's putting it lightly.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 31 (view)

Great Date POOF Mia but back on POF Posted: 1/30/2013 9:41:16 AM
The closer it is to the beginning of a relationship, the more chance it has of not working and somebody walking. Love grows over time. Forget about it, hold your head up, and move on to the next prospect. You only need to find one good one, it's not so bad. Don't make a date while on a date, that's moving too fast.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Ignoring Red Flags Posted: 1/30/2013 9:13:04 AM
Don't give out your phone number until you have met and have a good impression through your intuition (gut feelings). You can set up the first meet-and-greet right in the email. It's harder to get rid of stalkers when they already have your number. Oh, and they call it women's intuition because women usually have a stronger sense of it. But men have it too. The interesting thing is, it can be developed.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 41 (view)

Is this a normal “cooling off” period or silent treatment/emotional abuse/manipulation? Posted: 1/30/2013 8:38:41 AM
^^^Readbeforewriting does have a point. It's a little known fact that compatibility has nothing to do with common interests or activities (yes, sometimes those things bring people together, but so can traditional dating). Most people have tons of things they like, so just pick something you BOTH like from your lists and do those things on a date.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

I might be getting CATFISHED !!!??? Posted: 1/30/2013 7:56:39 AM
Listen, the rule is you exchange 3-5 emails and then ask her to meet at a public restaurant. If she does not want to meet? To bad so sad - drop her and write to other women. If you are getting catfished, it's your own fault.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 49 (view)

How do you date one person at a time? Posted: 1/29/2013 10:26:30 PM
Technically, the first time you meet off a dating site, the proverbial coffee date, is not really a date at all, it's an introduction, a meet-and-greet. You are still strangers until you meet. I don't care how many messages and love letters you think you have exchanged, they don't count - their sole purpose is to make a first meeting/appointment, that's all. That's why people having internet relationships for years is very ignorant. How can you know you want to date a person before you have met them? You should have multiple first meets, no problem with that. The more the merrier. Some of you could use the practice dates anyway, if nothing else.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

Is this a normal “cooling off” period or silent treatment/emotional abuse/manipulation? Posted: 1/29/2013 10:12:23 PM
The age does not matter - there are young control freaks, and there are old control freaks. There are young people who are flexible and giving, just like there are old. Yes, that's plenty of time to heal from the divorce, he's not on the rebound. Like I said originally, you really need to stay away from the texting, unless it is used to send very basic messages which cannot be misconstrued - texting can be dangerous to a relationship. I covered how men and women handle arguments differently sometimes. The other questions would be, how much do you love him, and how much does he love you? And how giving are the both of you? For the most part, the potential of the relationship for ongoing happiness depends on these two mutual and crucial elements. The easier to get along with the two of you are, and the more you love each other, the happier the relationship will be. If either of you are controlling, I hope you won't rule out counseling.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 46 (view)

How do you date one person at a time? Posted: 1/29/2013 9:08:41 PM
Usually you date one person when you are beginning to fall for that person... if you have had a few weeks of dating, and have a crush on a guy - why would you want to date an additional person who you have less feelings for? Wouldn't you want to spend your dates on the one you would rather be with? Makes sense to me?

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Is this a normal “cooling off” period or silent treatment/emotional abuse/manipulation? Posted: 1/29/2013 9:01:11 PM
First of all, I will congratulate you for contacting him again and trying to keep the communication lines open, to fix it... this shows that you are nice and care, important fundamentals in any relationship (you might be surprised how many relationships don't even have these fundamentals). texting is a poor form of communication however - Him calling something you love "lame" is kind of mean - but you texting "So much for that.” sounds like a dig/snippy, and is only making things worse. The phone (voice) is better, at least you get voice inflection and there is less room to misinterpret something. 93% of communication are things other than words, such as body language and voice inflection ad several other things. Now here is the real answer to your question - this is a difference between men and women that many can't understand... while women typically are better over all at relationships than men, they still have a hard time with this one. The difference is this, the way men and women handle anger - women want to talk things out and tend and mend. But men, like to go into their man cave and work things out in there own head - so they need time. Since you two normally only see each other on the weekends (which is perfectly natural and healthy for mature people), why don't you wait at least 4.5 days since the time of the argument to just call, or send a positive text, something short and sweet, something which could never be taken the wrong way, such as, "I was just thinking of you sweetheart and looking forward to seeing you again." However, the three month breakup you guys had troubles me - there could be other problems here. Is he on the rebound? If not, how do you know (I may be able to give you an indication but I need more facts)? How long was he married, and how long was it before he met you? Three months is an awful long time. Feel free to write me privately if you wish.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

dating without motorcycle Posted: 1/28/2013 6:54:31 PM
I'll tell you a short story. Had a nice motorcycle chick hit on me once. I declined. Want to know why? - because they are too dangerous. We have a little stretch of highway by my house I like to call "Dead man's curve." People die racing bikes there about every three weeks. No way Jose. I'd be too worried about her.

tnt144

Joined: 10/22/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Is he interested? Posted: 1/28/2013 6:47:41 PM
I only read the first two lines and have your answer. Going through a divorce means he is still married. If this is not enough reason for you to stop right there (it should be), he has not had enough time to grieve and get over the previous relationship and is not ready to love again. We call this the rebound period, and if you decide to pursue him , you will likely be the rebound girl and get dumped soon after. Just because they are beautiful and breathing does not automatically mean they are ready for a relationship or good relationship material.

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