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 Author Thread: come on...
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
come on...
Posted: 7/28/2005 11:38:45 AM
A man walked in to a bar. "OUCH!"
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 35 (view)
 
What would you do with a drunken sailor???
Posted: 7/28/2005 11:33:33 AM
Roll him for change.

 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Why are we there?
Posted: 7/28/2005 11:29:41 AM
LOL! I heard the same thing about New York... go figure.
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 8 (view)
 
How to say LOVE in every language of the world.
Posted: 7/28/2005 11:12:19 AM
I just unzip my pants... works for all languages!
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 7 (view)
 
What are you like when pissed?
Posted: 7/22/2005 4:34:43 AM
Naked... When I drink I start feeling all warm, so when I'm drunk I just start taking off clothes. After that... go running, dancing, swimming... whatever's around to do.
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Whats the funnyest thing youv ever done or said when you were drunk
Posted: 7/22/2005 4:30:43 AM
I took off all my clothes and ran along the hiway yelling, "I'M FREE! I'M FREE!"
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
allrighty then Fav South Park epis... or line
Posted: 7/22/2005 4:25:20 AM
The absolute best episode was the parody of the Lord of the Rings, where Butters got an extreme porno tape instead of the LotR movie... I LAUGHED UNTIL I CRIED! ...then I kept laughing.
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 8 (view)
 
What did you REALLY dream about last night??
Posted: 7/22/2005 4:22:10 AM
I was dreamin I was shopping in a record store... stocked with actual vinyl records! Strange.
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Which Condom Would You Use ...
Posted: 7/22/2005 4:18:05 AM
Guilt Condom: If you wanted it to feel good you wouldn't have insisted I use it.
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 120 (view)
 
Fun One Liners
Posted: 7/22/2005 4:11:41 AM
It's not premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married - Author Unknown

That was George Burns... JFYI.

My favorite has to be "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching Americans geography." - Pablo Rodriguez
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 18 (view)
 
license plates
Posted: 7/22/2005 4:08:41 AM
MIGUSTA... gotta know Spanish for that one.
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 7/22/2005 4:06:25 AM
Peter: "Should I conduct with my penis?"

 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 7 (view)
 
what is your fave commecial?
Posted: 6/4/2005 4:13:19 AM
There was this Alaska Air Lines commercial a LONG time ago where a guy on the plane get up to use the bathroom. He gets to the door and it's a fifty cent PAY TOILET. He goes to the first guy up the row: "Do you have four quarters for a dollar?" CUT. He goes to the second guy up the row: "Do you have two quarters for a dollar?" CUT. He goes to another guy: "Do you have two quarters for two dollars?" They cut away and do their spiel, then at the end of the commercial the show the guy in the plane again, trying to hold it in, asking the guy at the front of the row: "Do you have two quarters for ten dollars?"



I still laugh every time I think of that one... and it's been AT LEAST ten years!
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Open mouth insert foot....
Posted: 6/4/2005 4:06:40 AM

Kentucky F*ckin Chicken


I called it Kentucky Fried Children one time and made my cousin cry.
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Funny stories of life !!
Posted: 6/4/2005 3:57:46 AM
This is from a TV show... but I can't remember which one.

I used to think that "oral sex" meant -talking- about sex. One night after I got home late, mom asked me, "What did you do all night?" I replied, "A bunch of the guys got together and had a lot of oral sex."

 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 23 (view)
 
What's your favourite funny movie quote?
Posted: 6/4/2005 3:47:25 AM
EXCUSE ME WHILE I WHIP THIS OUT!

-- Blazing Saddles

 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Does this underwear make my butt look big?
Posted: 6/4/2005 3:36:15 AM
Your butt sure is making that underwear look big!

 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Tips for Northerners moving South
Posted: 6/4/2005 3:34:24 AM

"Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.


DAMN! And I've been saying it "Ya'll"
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Different jokes...
Posted: 6/4/2005 3:18:14 AM
What's 69 times 2?
Dinner for four.

 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 10 (view)
 
If you ruled the world what laws would invent or get rid of .
Posted: 6/4/2005 3:13:22 AM
All POF profiles would have to be HONEST and all pictures UP TO DATE!

 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
The Old Man and The Punk.....
Posted: 6/4/2005 3:06:56 AM
Maybe I have a warped sense of humor, but from the title, I thought it was going to be a prison joke.

 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Hello All!
Posted: 6/4/2005 2:48:59 AM
I'll never lower my standards...


Then prepare to be lonely. -SHRUG- It's a trade off. I think people looking for the PERFECT person are delusional. People have flaws... nobody's perfect. Accept people for who they are or prepare to be alone.
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 13 (view)
 
internet dateing sux
Posted: 6/4/2005 2:38:03 AM
It's better to be hated for what you are...


A-men! Which is EXACLTY why I didn't tell him to change his profile... just get involved with the forums and reach out to people... if you sit there passively, you won't meet anyone... just like in Real Life!

 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Gold Diggers
Posted: 6/4/2005 2:31:26 AM
@ X... you have a lot of insight there...

As the saying goes, "Rich people didn't get rich by giving their money away!"

As for me... would I marry for money? Yep... and not think twice about it. People who say NO are either being polite, outright lying, or naive.
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Intimidated by contacting muscular and athletic guys .. ..Is there a need to be ??
Posted: 6/4/2005 2:17:36 AM
You know, it always surprises me to see a woman's picture and then read how they describe their body type... many are WAY off, IMHO, but it tells you a LOT about what they think of themselves.

Don't be shy on this site... what's the worst that can happen? Send a message, say HI, see what happens. You haven't lost anything if nothing comes out of it. People are on this site for a reason (generally, I'm finding out): to meet people! So send a message and meet a person!

Just my $.02
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Meeting anyone?
Posted: 6/4/2005 2:00:12 AM
One woman I talked to on this site has postings on another site I used to visit... there was a SEVEN year difference in her age from the posts! I don't know what that means, but I wasn't about to find out!

 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 14 (view)
 
looking for mr right
Posted: 6/4/2005 1:46:51 AM
Hon, don't limit yourself... maybe Mr. Right it out there but not IN YOUR AREA...

...but after seeing all the profiles from Canada, I may be moving that way soon. ...any way anyone can warm up that country for me? A move from Arizona to Canada may be too much of a shock on my system!
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 13 (view)
 
looking for mr right
Posted: 6/4/2005 1:46:39 AM
Hon, don't limit yourself... maybe Mr. Right it out there but not IN YOUR AREA...

...but after seeing all the profiles from Canada, I may be moving that way soon. ...any way anyone can warm up that country for me? A move from Arizona to Canada may be too much of a shock on my system!
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 4 (view)
 
So what do you look for?
Posted: 6/4/2005 1:38:33 AM
^^^^^ YEAH... big time! ^^^^^

You know, everyone will say probably the same things, but honestly, some people's lists are SO long they will never find that =PERFECT= someone who is a 7' redhead amazon who enjoys anal sex, horror movies, and doing all your housework. People have flaws... you can either live with the flaws or not. Just be realistic in your expectations.
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Warning!.. Self Destruct sequence initiated.. hit the escape pods!
Posted: 6/4/2005 1:36:46 AM
I did that once... and things were NOT perfect from where I was sitting. I mean, it was comfortable, but not perfect... and over time the flaws blurred the picture too much and it was time to bail. Every other time it's been either mutual or one side moved or something similar. If you have to wait for a messy break up, you've waited far TOO long!
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Rules for the relationship?
Posted: 6/4/2005 1:29:20 AM
What? Am I missing something here?

Okay, let's try it... I'm 33... 33/2=16.5... round up = 17... add 8 = 25.

What the hell does 25 mean?

I guess that rule is you get a number. Wow... amazing.


 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 14 (view)
 
international relationship
Posted: 6/4/2005 1:24:16 AM
My uncle met a gal in Germany on-line and they talked for a while... now they are married. Seven years (IIRC).

Without speaking a common language? I don't see it. Fall in LUST certainly, but LOVE? I've tried with some Spanish speakers, but I have taken the time to learn at least a LITTLE of the language. I don't think "love conquers all" would work here... just my $.02
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Wanna hear what the guys have to say ......
Posted: 6/4/2005 1:19:08 AM
If he's here and REALLY fishing, he doesn't think of her as that SPECIAL SOMEONE.

Tough break you have to be the one to tell her. ...but that's what friends are for, right?

 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 12 (view)
 
best friends of the opposite sex suck because.....
Posted: 6/4/2005 1:14:50 AM
Wow... and I thought I was the only one.
My best friend and I have known we had feelings for each other for a while, but, in the beginning one or the other was too shy, then she got married... so I gave up hope and got married... then she got divorced, found out I was happily married, and got remarried... then I got divorced. ...now I'm kind of waiting for her to get re-divorced...

Ships passing...
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Dating Older Women?????
Posted: 6/4/2005 1:07:20 AM
With maybe one or two exceptions, I've always dated older women... not the 10 to 20 years older, but nonetheless. I think older women have a better perspective on life... just my $.02
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 3 (view)
 
How NOT to captivate a woman
Posted: 6/4/2005 12:59:43 AM
LOL! Too funny! Though I thought the demanding sex and yelling part made him a bad guy (or at least assertive) and thus the woman SHOULD have been attracted to that. hehehehe
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Sex ruins relastionships(chasity or not)
Posted: 6/3/2005 3:25:53 AM
I think you're attracted to their allure... once you know you can get them, it's no longer fun for you.
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 13 (view)
 
What if the girl always leaves after sex?
Posted: 6/3/2005 3:15:20 AM
I can't tell... are you bragging or complaining?
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Why do some people insist on meeting you with your kids present?
Posted: 6/3/2005 2:51:47 AM
Are you kidding? I would NEVER meet someone for the first time with my kids... but I am completley up front about the fact I'm a single father of two. I haven't had to do this yet, but I'd ease them into my childrens' lives.
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Alternative living arrangements for single parents
Posted: 6/3/2005 2:38:38 AM
I may be the minority here, but I think it sounds like a GREAT idea... but you'll have to SCREEN HEAVILY!

Actually, I think a better solution (since you have a daughter) is to find a single parent of the same gender and work on your projects as a team. I'd be nervous as hell having some guy around my daughter all the time... and there's NO REASON you need a man to do the jobs you describe.
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 5 (view)
 
How do youmove forward when you thought the past was a blast?
Posted: 6/3/2005 2:32:16 AM
How do you move forward? You will when you're ready to. The past is the past and tomorrow is another day.
Honestly, though, if your new GF is mature, she will understand when you mention things from your past. YOU have past, SHE has a past... be open and accepting about it. There is a LINE though, so don't cross it and don't try to locate it, because it often moves with mood. Just don't drone on endlessly about it! Nobody wants to hear how great your X was... and NOBODY wants to be compared to your X either.

Just a nickle's worth of free advice.
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 3 (view)
 
have to have a daddy to be happy?
Posted: 6/3/2005 2:16:15 AM
I grew up without a father (parents divoced when I was two, then he died when I was 4)... and the best thing I can say is find something your son can do that helps build his confidence... I was in sports, I got into music, I got into drawing. You should guide your son into areas he excells at or likes to do. The key is GUIDE don't PUSH. Just my $.02
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Prego and alone
Posted: 6/3/2005 2:04:28 AM
Yeah, it does get easier. If you're =LUCKY= you have family nearby that will help, friends are good too, but they don't always last. Karat+3 gave the best advice... Get as much advice out of her as you can!
Honestly, I don't know how single moms do it. I've been a single dad of two for only a few months and if I didn't have a very supportive family only minutes away, I don't know what I would do. I give big =KUDOS= to those ladies out there who have had to do this all by yourself.
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 9 (view)
 
1 month until I can join you on this forum
Posted: 6/3/2005 1:37:07 AM
30s are =SO= much better then the 20s... at least for me. 30 is only supposed to be 50% more then 20, but it's 10 times for me!
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 23 (view)
 
dating at work
Posted: 6/3/2005 1:32:51 AM
Did it once and it didn't turn out so well...

Looking to do it again, but I'm an optimist... and she looks like a goddess... so it's worth the risk! Plus she works in a different department, so it all works out!
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 15 (view)
 
young moms vs older moms
Posted: 6/3/2005 1:06:57 AM
From what I've seen of my friends, if you had kids earlier, when they move out you are young enough to enjoy life and reach goals... but things suffer along the way: money, entertainment, education, etc.

If you're older, you can be a LOT better prepared! ...and you have friends who can help you through the rough spots. By the time you feel you're ready, you GENERALLY have all your ducks in a row, so it's easier.

Personally, I'm =VERY= glad I waited until I was 27 to have my son. I wanted to have kids as soon as I got married (22) but got vetoed... turned out to be the best decision "we" made.
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 19 (view)
 
What is wrong here?
Posted: 6/3/2005 12:55:50 AM
Go out with him, but don't sleep with him... if he's still with you in a year, keep him!

Just my $.02

 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Relationship
Posted: 6/3/2005 12:38:34 AM
Sometimes good guys have to pay for their A**hole friends. It sounds like he was trying to protect his friendship when he said he broke up with you. Rob is too immature to get married if he's that locked up with what his friends think. You're really better off... even if it doesn't feel like it now.
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Where do we introduce ourselves?
Posted: 6/3/2005 12:25:16 AM
Thanx buck... -NOW- I feel accepted and able to express my opinions openly!

Whew... that's a load off my shoulders!
 ALuckyFrog
Joined: 5/18/2005
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Worst fashion error of your life.
Posted: 6/3/2005 12:22:37 AM
Parachute Pants and feathered hair... Yeah, I was STYLING!

 
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