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agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

Why would you want to remain friends with an ex Posted: 4/22/2009 6:35:00 PM
It is a great way of learning what people are capable of through time. It tests your character by learning to forgive, and might mean maturity if you can control erratic behavior. Chances are you ex is not a evil person but spite and hatred can make them seem that way. I do not think it is always a good idea. Sometimes it is just healthier to have that person out of your life.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

dating women with similar interests Posted: 4/20/2009 1:20:31 PM
I think differences are fine. Just respect each-others point of view. My girlfriend is vegetarian, democrat, and wants to be socially involved in projects I have no interest. I am very athletic and she can hardly ride a bike. I think she is a great balance to myself. I make sure I cook vegetarian not because I want to but, to show that I am considerate. I learn about global hunger and she learns about multinationals. Maybe you could go to a Card, Cubs game and not rub it in when the Cubs lose, and then try and make something on the menu from your favorite restaurant. Agree that the republicans have made some big mistakes and that not every thing the democrats are doing is going to work. Both parties are so imperfect. Find ways to compliment each-others weaknesses.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

what am I suppose to do with a woman that dont wanna let get go!!!!!!!!!! Posted: 4/20/2009 12:45:04 PM
This girl is using you! I think it is cool you are a respectful guy. My opinion is to make more friends, guys and girls. If you increase your friend base you will not feel so alone when you realize she is truly gone, or using you. You do not need to sleep with someone else but, you should start making new friends. At least give yourself some outlets.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

justified death. Posted: 4/2/2009 8:16:26 PM
If you are in a life boat at sea. there is not enough water of food for every one to survive. How do you decide what is fair. Save all, save only the number who can survive. Kill or let the rest starve. In a case where it is your personal life boat, who do you help, how much do you give up. Do you feel you should even share if it is yours to begin with. Then place this situation on a global situation.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

justified death. Posted: 4/2/2009 7:42:04 PM
Thanks for the condescending attitude. Self preservation is never a question of morality, or ethics. Is there an obligation to preserve others lives? Are you responsible for someones death based on your decisions. When you know lack of supply is a factor. I get that there are a lot of questions, they are linked to a central idea. Justifying ones death over another, my actions may preserve myself but kill another or many. Or, if someone kills another while they struggle to survive is that justified if they are innocent. You could consider it in concepts of a person or country. Greed means that another may not get what they need to survive. What right is there to deny the poor, even if it depletes another's wealth? What is considered fair, or just when inequality exists?

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

justified death. Posted: 4/2/2009 6:22:51 PM
Ok, answered in the context that person B, (group B, country B) has other acceptable alternatives and is still threatening, you have avoided the metaphor. Your retaliation is a direct result of an injustice occurring. As a question of humanism, sometimes we make decision that effects innocent people unable to seek aide. Or in a question of unsustainable how do you decide who should lack supply. In a case of "lack of supply" what action is justifiable for preservation? Consider money, any type of commodity, wealth, food, oil. Who has a right to it? What right does someone have to fight for food, money, for survival. Should you, a nation, a person or group, have a right to deny another, their right to live, when there is not a shelter around the corner offering what they need.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

justified death. Posted: 4/2/2009 5:38:04 PM
What if they need your money clip to survive. Do they have a right to kill you for self preservation? Do you have a right to kill for survival, is that self defence? Defending your right to live? Under the assumption that poverty or need is innocent. What if you knew your money would save his life, is it an innate right or wrong to share your wealth to save another? Or, would you still feel the need to stick him in the neck with a pen.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

justified death. Posted: 4/2/2009 4:50:49 PM
Is it acceptable to kill in self defence? What force is acceptable, what if one could stop a person without killing.?What about times of famine, who should live or die? Who should get food or water on a boat with inadequate supplies.?What about adequate supply, should every person survive as a general right? What if you know there will be lack of supply in the future, should you make changes to provide during scarcity? If you are born rich, do you have more of a right to survive than your neighbor, given limited supplies? What is fair, do you feel any moral responsibility to a death that is preventable? Does a person have a right to self preservation? What about when person B is unaware or indirectly responsible for person A's lack of supply? What is your level of benevolence? Does being unaware make someone less responsible? What about someone who is aware, do they have anymore responsibility for someone else's death.?

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

I was accused of false cheating..... Posted: 4/1/2009 5:50:34 PM
Be clear, and direct. tell him he is the only man you want! Your confidence will carry him through.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Men who dont/won't share feelings- think they are intellects Posted: 4/1/2009 4:11:31 PM
I am not this man. I have felt like this man in a previous relationship. My problem at the time was a kind of trust. She would talk, we were sweet for the most part bu,t I just tuned out after a while. I felt like she did not understand me, or was unable to relate. I just didn't see the point, or trust her with my thoughts. When I did open up, the response was something different than a connection. The reality was we were living together, with shared responsibilities. It was like waiting to be free. I thought the life was going to leave me, and I would just be empty. I am so thankful that is over. here is to not being in a sucky relationship. Oh and who knows about this guy, but something is wrong, maybe.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

Mastecomy and Dating Posted: 2/23/2009 3:20:04 PM
I think whatever makes you feel comfortable is the best policy. Sometimes we have to many people giving us advice. Sure you may get less responses, but it means you can weed out quicker. How should you put it in your profile. I would use humor. Unlucky man can knock on wood. I will show you my scar if you show me yours. At least my t its are not saggy. I think you just come out with it. If you show you are comfortable with it maybe he will be too. Or more capable of letting you know his flaws.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

Would you Marry the ONE you Love or Love the ONE you Marry? Posted: 2/23/2009 3:04:16 PM
Love aside I think it is important to know if the relationship is functional. I say love is not enough to hold a relationship together. There has to be lots of other factors. Do you agree on kids, money, have any hobbies together. What stance do you hold on roles in a relationship. I think it takes a long time to get to know a person. A healthy relationship in my opinion should explore someone before making a decision to spend life together. As far as past relationships and the divorce rate: It was not common for people to get divorced or socially except able. In the past generation it may have been necessary to marry out of need, or function. Today we marry out of love and companionship. Those dynamics are also more likely to change today. People grow apart or change a core focus of their life somewhere in the middle. I think the fact that relationships are based on and equal partnership, and that most families are two working parents make a large difference.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

Answering questions Posted: 2/4/2009 7:53:23 PM
Lets say they are a normal Joe, just looking to meet someone new. Putting yourself in their place how would you respond to I am looking for something simple, respect, compassion, understanding and integrity. Now, you are a woman but answer the question as a guy.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 62 (view)

Does wanting a relationship make you needy? Posted: 1/19/2009 10:30:29 AM
Yes, I think wanting to be in a relationship makes you needy, by definition. I think a better question is weather it is wrong to be needy? No, I think it can be healthy to want to be in a quality relationship. I also think the desire to want to be in any relationship is unhealthy. If you feel justified in your actions, feelings no person should be able to make you feel otherwise. Good luck....

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

Over Protective Bf's Posted: 11/8/2008 12:24:55 AM
I talk to people all day some men some woman. It could just be about gas prices or the weather or a million other things? Why would some random guy what to steal you from him. And if they do ,with his behavior maybe you should. If I got a cool PS3 would I keep my PS3 away from my friends because I was afraid they would steal it. Or if I had a dog, a really cute one do I keep it caged so no one can see it. No NO. His behavior not some guy you are talking to is going to make you leave him. Someone leaves when the other person is too extreme. Not caring gets the same result. So maybe a healthy balance somewhere in between. I think the last part of this is to tell him he is not in control of who you talk to or what you do. If you choose to include him in your life he should be grateful.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 5 (view)

this one is complicated Posted: 11/8/2008 12:05:28 AM
Keep the apartment and all the furnitue, the baby should stay with you at night. she can watch the child during the day at her boyfriends house, at night the baby should be with you.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 89 (view)

My fiance went with a hooker before he met me Posted: 11/7/2008 11:44:37 PM
The reference come into play when one is obsessed by their partners past, and how it effects the future. Many men have to think about an instance such as there girlfriend having been raped. It is not an apples to apple comparison, nor could it be. The point is you might need to let go of what ever horrible things are in the past and move on. Esp. a botched hand job.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

Over Protective Bf's Posted: 11/7/2008 11:24:43 PM
I think you should ask him about his fears specifically. Why is he afraid. Try to listen, it will not make much since to you ,but write down some of his responses. Be clear that this conversation needs to stay focused and if there are other conversations we should have them later. when he starts to get upset or defencive give him time to collect his thoughts, but to be calm when talking. He is reacting from emotion, more than logic and so he needs to talk about it but it will take some time to get a grasp of why he is afraid. Assure him you care about him, but your life is also more that just him,its just a prison otherwise. Does he want you to be happy. Does he want you to know, he respects you. Does he think that his reaction is going to make your relationship stronger. Being careful not to ever let this conversation get to intense, introduce articles from online that talk about destructive relationships and how to identify them. I think they will help the two of you relate better to what is going on.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

Strange ex offer (spending money) Posted: 11/7/2008 10:46:47 PM
take the money and give him a receipt, and explain that if he wants rights then he still needs to be consistant and will need to be healthy one time charity does not count for all the drama he could cause.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 85 (view)

My fiance went with a hooker before he met me Posted: 11/7/2008 10:26:04 PM
If my girl friend wants to know my past sexual explicits I will tell her. If she tell me hers ,its my duty to tell her its OK. I still love you, respect you, and it doesn't change who you are to me. Should I break up with someone I like because ,she was raped, all I can think about her being raped. No I should get over it. If she tells me her last boyfriend had a giant****should I be upset because mine is tiny compared to his. No I get over it. I encourage you to become enlightened be more sexually explicit with your boyfriend, maybe you should even give him a hand job blow job in the car sometime, then take is wallet and steal 20. But laugh about it get over it, role play if you must.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

I need some advise on how to advise on a relationship breakup Posted: 11/7/2008 10:12:37 PM
There are a lot of other more important things that sex or love. He is young and rather than finding a replacement he should look at building some strong holds into his healthy future. He should not worry about finding someone else. His emotions will not be so intense as time go by and he will have had time to process everything that has hap pend. Just help him find a healthy productive path to push him down. a trade, a career, something positive other than another partner.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

Buidling up a relationship in your head, no way to match in real life Posted: 11/7/2008 10:01:50 PM
Well your mind sounds desperate and almost stalkerish. I don't think you are but ,that dialogue kinda gives that off. First, I think it is good you see this thought process as a problem. So what are your options. Lets suggest that you get a date. What are the chances you are going to be awkward on a date with someone you like? Possibly good. Like an interview for a job, or giving a speech in front of people we have to practice to be more comfortable with it. So lets start you off with more informal ways of dating. First invite a few people to your house apt, for cards, and drinks. Invite a few people out for dinner and drinks. It might be more comfortable and much easier to ask for phone numbers if you feel like you are not just inviting them out or over. Then through the night learn more about them and let them talk. Ask them question? Look at her body language. Find a friendly way to touch her, like on the shoulder. Someone once told me learning to be comfortable physically starts with small things like that. At the end of the evening walk her to her car, do not expect a kiss just be polite and tell her you would like to get to know her better.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 26 (view)

When do you give up on a relationship. Posted: 11/7/2008 9:42:02 PM
Lets start by asking a few questions. I understand I can not get a reply so they are rhetorical in context. Do you live in the past or the future? Psychologist say you should live in the present and plan for the future. As a person are you healthy, do you have a good diet, multiple outlets besides work and sleep? I would work on those first. Next if you genuinely want to be with this woman, you need to logically understand why. The child is the reason she is in your life but, does not justify, why you want to be with her. If you figure out why her, and no other......then wait. Get you self in order first. Tell yourself you will be celibate for two years. That purpose is to work on some of your life goals, and gain respect from her in a different capacity than before. Most people do not want to go back to something they think was broken or not right for them. Like her you do not want to go into a bad relationship. So take time work on your life with out her. Chances are her current relationship will end and if it doesn't you will just be all that much more poised for when the right woman, for you, comes into your life. Because you are stronger and healthy There are many other things just as important as love. Trust respect understanding, tolerance, stability. Be happy and healthy and I guarantee you will find the right mate.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 45 (view)

Open Marriages Posted: 8/7/2007 8:52:31 AM
John I agree it is better to know what is happening in your relationship than not. So I think your right in being up front, esp if you enjoy your marraige and would like it to continue. I also agree that many people are tempted to look for sex other places. It is the number one reason most people get a divorce. Now having said that. It is possible for a couple to have an open relationship. Very few work. I would ask you what are the instances where it works and doesn't, can you calculate the variables or look at other couples where this has worked. Are they healthy strong and committed. Next start asking yourself what you would be ok with and what you wouldn't. How much freedom do you allow your partner when do you start to get worried what are the boundries. Last there is a chance that you will cross those lines of trust, respect, and understanding. What if you and your partner do not agree on how to handle the more majior situations. Then what you cut out your extra sexual activities. The relationship will still be different. My point is that it is hard enough to find someone you like let alone want to spend your life with. Be careful going down this path. I call it complicated emotional sex, even if one person can handle it the other may not. Chances are a great as it sounds and as much as you have worked out the detail there are things you have not thought about, and your talking about emotions that are sometime ill rational not logical.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

Fourm designed for locations, Posted: 1/25/2006 10:46:03 PM
I would liketo get to know people from my area so that I can hear what they have to say. It would help me to know who I really wanted to talk to.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 46 (view)

Am I missing out on my decision NOT to have children? Posted: 10/31/2005 9:43:58 AM
I am family oriented and selfish at the same time. I am a single parent of a little 4yr boy. My wife left when he was 1 to take care of a house 2 car payments and a little boy. I will never quite be the same. So its been a really hard few years. Would I do it over again. NO maybe, I don't know, but I love my son. He is a pain in the butt, and the thing that drives me to get me up in the morning. The downfall, he takes up so much time. The benifit, I get to teach him everything he knows about the world and I get so much love from him. He helps me see things in a new and positive way. Botton line its alot of work. If you have a hard time taking care of yourself or long term relationships are not really your thing....well.... People don't have kids for lots of reasons, thats thier choice. I have one I want another, just with the right woman, I am not sure if she will ever show herself. I also look what life is about....My dad told me its about friends and family. When you look back at your life the things that you smile most about are the relationships and friends and people that have been the closest to you. Its those people that mean something, that have made your life have value.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 53 (view)

Boyfriend not interested in sex Posted: 10/31/2005 9:22:02 AM
Men want to feel like men. Don't persue sex with him. Just tease him with out being obvious about it. Let him know that you want him with-out asking for sex. Let or make him come after you. Its a mans natural reaction to push you away or to feel a bit uncomfortable when you come after him. This may not make much sence to you right now but trust me if you want him to pursue you tease him and make him come after you. He will.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 33 (view)

age differences...does it matter? Posted: 7/1/2005 9:31:45 PM
so would you date a man that was 14yrs younger? Your also kinda tall I know that height is completely differnt, but would you date a man that was shorter than you as well? To me its not a matter of age that is the problem unless you are a teacher dating your student, or your Micheal Jacksonand you like boys. For me its why people make these choices that tells me if its a good choice or not. Or, looking at your life and saying you just shouldn't be in a relationship because some people shouldn't. I think we have all met those people.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 13 (view)

Do men realy think that blonds are more attractive? Posted: 6/11/2005 5:28:17 PM
I won't date a blonde. Its not that I won't I just find burnettes so much more attractive. Like Winonna Ryder she is soooo hot.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 25 (view)

Where are the Single Fathers??Enough with the Single Mother Threads Posted: 5/22/2005 10:44:47 PM
Moist all you have to do is look in your backyard to find a Parent willing to do anything for his son. I have lost and won custody cases and will have to go back again, is it worth it paying laywers all that money. Yes it is. I am a single dad and proud of it.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

I am going to win the lottery tonight 155million Posted: 5/21/2005 4:43:31 PM
Can you help me decide what to do with it????

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

Need Advice For my Friend.. Posted: 5/20/2005 12:48:04 PM
It is hard to see your friend put herself through it. My best suggestion is to one NOT be directly involved. Keep talking to her saying the same message. Give her an out tell her what she can do instead of be with this guy. She could find a different place to live. Tell her parents what has happended and that you are worried about her saftey. Tell her parents to go and visit her. If she has changed that much they will see it.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

How happy do you need to be?? Posted: 5/20/2005 12:39:51 PM
Much of life is a compromise I have been in many relationships. If you evaluate your relationship when do you decide your happy. What is the deal breaker for you. The other portion of this question is, most relationships are not perfect so what percentage constitutes happiness. I am 80% happy... and so on. What if your not all that happy but life is stable and the days are goin by smooth. Remember Love and relationships constitute manny things like tolerance, support, understanding, communication.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

all the hot women Posted: 5/19/2005 9:23:51 PM
Ok so we are so trading lives for about 3mths. I have a nice condo outside of Portland OR.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 4 (view)

all the hot women Posted: 5/19/2005 9:16:15 PM
I am looking for a well rounded person. I guess that means I want her to be good looking but not so much it gets in the way of the relationship. I want her to be active but not so much that I can't keep up. I want her to be smart but not so much that I feel small next to her. Does that help. When I am just browsing through the profiles you look till one gets your eye.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

all the hot women Posted: 5/19/2005 8:49:51 PM
Oh and if your hot and not from the Great North then send me a message and let me know I was completely wrong...

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

all the hot women Posted: 5/19/2005 8:48:49 PM
Is it me or does Canada make some hot chicks. It seems like every profile that I want to look at because I like the photo, the woman ends up being from Canada. I am seriously thinking about changing to the Maple leaf.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

embaressing story at work sort of Posted: 5/19/2005 9:47:35 AM
I was at work corprate envirment. I had to use the john. It was a normal experience, nothing to explosive. When I was comming out, it looked as if the stalls were taken up. This guy looked at me comming out, went in and flushed, ok no big deal but then he flushed again. I was sitting there washing my hands thinking about this. " I just got the double flush.... I was not sure but felt like I was offended.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 62 (view)

full-time single dads Posted: 5/19/2005 9:25:35 AM
I have been a single dad for 3yrs now. I had full custody for 2.5yr after she abandoned her family, 1yrold boy, new house and 2 cars. I am a good father and was a good husband. After a few years she decices she wants joint custody, after not hardly seeing her child and she gets it. I am bitter at the courts. This is just not right. If your looking for other single dads out there you are looking for a network. I am with you man I understand the BS situation that is our plight. For all you stupid ignorant loser dads out there get a clue and stop making my life so hard.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

Please someone help me (BEDTIME) Posted: 5/19/2005 9:17:30 AM
She has to much phyiscal energy, walk her, make her tired and she will be happy to go to sleep. my son is like that untill I wear his butt out. My son can walk 10miles in one day he is only 3. Now I agree this may be a little extreme but just give her a workout and she will sleep.

agenteightysix

Joined: 5/18/2005

Msg: 50 (view)

Are MEN the real reason why most girls go lez? Posted: 5/19/2005 9:09:51 AM
not all gays are born that way, only about half have a gennnetic disposition to it. The other half are envirmental changes through abuse or abuse

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