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Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

How does a man ask for a second chance. Posted: 11/4/2009 8:14:55 PM
There are a shocking number of men and women alike who crave getting smacked around. My guess is it is an underlying sex thing, a S&M bent. We've all seen men and women alike line up around the block to play "Thank you Ma'am or Sir, may I have another smack?" with the nearest sadist. If you attract that sort in the droves it probably is a compliment. That you are a challenge to control, a worthy opponent. However, if it is that you equally enjoy that challenge, you will meet your match, and your maker if you don't stop. Although female sadists are much rarer than male sadists, the female is the deadlier of the species.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 47 (view)

Confused & upset - Why do men do this? Posted: 11/2/2009 2:20:51 PM
Time will tell. And it did. Yeah, it hurts to be rejected. If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off. Besides, men usually get a lot more rejection than women. What's more is actors get gratutious flattery and then dumped constantly. It will pass, the world will keep turning, and you just go on.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 62 (view)

Dating and Depression Posted: 11/2/2009 1:34:23 PM
As long as you don't expect others to be your free therapist or nurse. I have no problem dating nuts. As long as they know they are nuts and are doing something about it. It's when they don't know and they expect others to fix it or cater to it, or more specifically me to fix it. I am not a therapist or a nurse, let alone a free therapist or a nurse, and there is a well earned fee for those services because it is exhausting work, not fun dating, no fun at all. This is a free dating site and it is not a free mental health support forum.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Non-Smoker, But No Must Not Smoke Posted: 11/2/2009 10:58:48 AM
I'm one of those people you're talking about. I'm an ex smoker and as long as it is not in my house, car, hair, lungs, or on my clothes. I have a smoking area outside. It is dirty and smelly now that I know what I smelled like, ick, cough, gag. Smokers make me glad I don't smoke anymore. It isn't easy to quit and it doesn't make you a bad person or a bad match, imo. We are the company we keep and it seems like smokers who want to quit find other former smokers when they want to quit. Those are the best allies to quitting yourself and I became an ex smoker that way myself. By hanging around people who really know how to quit and finding that support.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Would You? Posted: 8/30/2009 1:28:39 PM
It's just like how men can sleep with a woman and that's all he wanted with nothing more to it. She was done with the conversation and done with you. Wham, bam, thank you man.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

What is your POF protocol when you receive a message from a new guy? Posted: 8/30/2009 1:22:07 PM
It doesn't matter. If I feel something in my gut, if I like him, I write back regardless of his profile, photos, or length of emails. If I like him, everything he says, does, and what he looks like is "cute." If I don't like him, it doesn't matter as well. If I don't like him, everything he says, does, and how he looks is awful. I go by the feel. There isn't anything tangible, written, spoken, or physical attributes about it.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Need advice on moving out / ending relationship Posted: 7/27/2009 3:16:47 PM
After 17 years, I had to call it quits because he wouldn't, no matter how much we beat that dead horse to make sure it was really, truly, and sincerely dead. I don't know what the guiness book of world record is for beating a dead horse, but I bet I set or broke the record. It was convenient and that's about its only redeeming quality. Otherwise it was like living with a corpse for the death benefits. It can last a long time like that. If you're leaving it up to him, it isn't going to happen. My ex was a real, true and sincere dead beat of a sluggard and he wouldn't do anything he could get out of. Not that he is a bad guy but just a very lazy one. It can go on for years and decades like that. It is amazing how long we can be THAT miserable and nothing happen to end it. I think I liked that he was so dull and lifeless at one point. More like I didn't believe anyone could truly be that dead while they're alive. I didn't believe he or anyone could truly be such a slug. I didn't want to admit I had made a mistake. I was wrong and the sooner I admitted I made a mistake, the happier I was to leave. I feel bad that I don't feel bad. I don't miss him one bit. There wasn't anything to miss really. He pretty much laid around and stunk up the house so my house doesn't smell like farts and beer anymore. That's nothing to miss. However, it was true there was no getting rid of him. I had to be the one to leave or it wouldn't end. Good luck.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Is my timing wrong? Posted: 7/12/2009 7:59:48 PM
We attract healthy people as we get healthy. Drinking is voluntary madness and it does make people not care. Like alcohol, marijuana is a depressant and it will amplify that don't care. Smoking is mood altering. So, moody people who don't care aren't exactly a hotbed of romance and mental health. We are the company we keep.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Analyze my current situation with this girl...I'm stumped! Posted: 7/12/2009 12:24:37 PM
It sounds to me like she is treating you like she got treated. Like instant replay and she wants to be the one with all the power, rights, and say instead of the dumpee. It may not be conscious, deliberate, or intentional. Still, it is what it is and no victim, no crime. If you don't mind being a dump and mr. in between relationships. I mind being used but not everyone minds it so much.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Why do women Posted: 7/12/2009 12:16:11 PM
I don't mind paying but I do mind a cheap man. I especially mind a cheap man with exquisite taste who gives nothing and demands everything. You get what you give.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Jealousy...what a wrecking ball. Posted: 6/29/2009 1:47:36 PM
I've been the target of jealousy so no, not at all, not one bit or I'm gone. You may not think you're so bad and you have to justify it to live with yourself. Green eyed MONSTER is an understatment and I'm not tolerating the controlling my every breath with jealousy as an excuse. Envy is a deadly sin. In my book there is no such thing as a healthy amount of envy. It might turn some on, but it can and does get out of hand in a hurry. Nobody has mastered that one and jealousy is the number one lady killer.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Does long term really mean long term ? Posted: 6/29/2009 1:23:00 PM
If you're planning on being around for a lifetime, what's the rush? You don't mind crack but you can't wait to meet a crack bride? You're just cracking me right up! I wouldn't and don't take you seriously.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

Has anyone ever heard/been in a pseudo-relationship? Posted: 6/28/2009 9:50:40 AM
I call that obsesssed and there is a fine line between love and obsession. As Shakespeare wrote "There are no words spoken or written by pen, sadder than what might of been." Anytime I hear Shakespeare, it is never good, and they all die in the end. He or she is not available. Do not wrap your whole life around anyone or anything. I would not go out with an obsessed weirdo chasing me around watching my every move, and counting my every breath. Do not be that weirdo in anyone's life. This is sick behavior. Remove yourself entirely from any object of obsession.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Jelous? Posted: 6/27/2009 3:53:47 PM
I know people who trash talk NYC will not get a date with me. A pretty little country girl won't be into your bad mouthing the dump and everybody in it, if it is important to her too. That tends to be universal home is where the heart is. In a lot of those small towns calling this or that one a snob or ugly gets around and back in a hurry. In small towns it very well might be that pretty girl's favorite cousin, too. She might give you some frostbite for it. It pays to be little paranoid in small towns. Everybody does talk about everybody so be very mindful of what you say and do. Oh, and look me up if you're ever in the NYC metro area. What a cutie you are!

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Jelous? Posted: 6/27/2009 2:31:25 PM
Yeah, I'd say you're more cosmopolitan, because you want to be more cosmo, although I go the other way and way out of my way to be in my glory in the swamps falling for every real case of Shrek, the swamp ogre. I just love me a slow talkin' country boy. Maybe we all want what we don't have and a piece of strange. You can't have roots and wings. In other words, it sounds like you don't want a local girl. True it may be there aren't as many of the type you're looking for in Shreveport, and maybe that's a good thing. I certainly do not confuse a Georgia peach with a New York apple. You wouldn't have as much trouble finding a NYer to play doctor with you. I like it ride him cowboy and I don't find much of that here in New Jersey.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 760 (view)

What makes a woman over 40 sexy? Posted: 6/27/2009 1:53:26 PM
I feel sexier than I ever have before so maybe that's it. It is true that I'm not interested in getting married or having anymore children, so maybe it's the air of sex without responsibility that attracts such an unprecedented number of mama's boys and dead beats. I'm not exactly flattered. My suitors and pursuers have changed age brackets and men in hot pursuit keep getting younger as I get older. I would like someone my own age who isn't a mama's boy or a dead beat. I don't know if it is just me or being a woman or whatnot but I have always wanted someone to talk with and be with more than anything else. I really can't talk with much older or much younger men the way that I can with someone my own age.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

How do I deal with MS haters? Posted: 6/6/2009 9:13:20 PM
Maybe it's TMI and expecting people who don't have MS to understand MS, or your specific case of MS since they don't know you or MS. Btw, I have MS and it's not something I discuss with my date if it isn't going to effect the date, which it doesn't. MS is not contagious. I am not the MS campaign or spokesperson and I don't want to be. I did end a date and never spoke to a man again who informed and tried to educate me on and about all his problems for hours until I finally said I had to go. Dates are suppose to be fun. I don't want to play doctor, nurse, or student. We all have problems. Focusing on problems instead of solutions only increases problems. Plus people who don't know you might assume you are only concerned with your problems with no consideration for others as fellow human beings with problems too, and no fun to be around at all. I know a real date killer is to talk about child birth or gynological problems with my date. It works everytime to run him off.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

why is it so hard for me to find a girl Posted: 6/6/2009 8:59:22 PM
I just got to tell you that picture of you in gear with the muslim midget is PRICELESS!!!!!I'm LMAO!!! OMG!!! I had coffee coming out of my nose. I was so not ready for that!! You have got to send that one in to TIME or LIFE or something it's so precious! It's effing hysterical! Talk about chill out or lighten up. Oh, sorry, what was the question? oh, right, Just give it some time.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Interesting...Men and Women APPARENTLY are NOT Equal Posted: 6/6/2009 8:36:21 PM
If you go around complaining that you can't find anyone, and your friend tries to hook you up with someone, the least you can say is "THANK YOU and I'm really sorry to have to tell you I'm not interested especially when it is your family." You beheaded the messenger or friend who was only trying to help you with YOUR PROBLEM. Furthermore, this is your friend's FAMILY MEMBER. It's a members only family practice that family and only family members are allowed to call other family members unattractive, etc...You insulted your friend and her family. In my opinion, your behavior was that of a rude crude dude with a 'tude. You should immediately and profusely apologize. You were much too harsh on someone only trying to help you. Sheeze

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

This is confusing... Posted: 6/6/2009 8:25:05 PM
Either way, interested or not, it seems you have to do all the work, so is she worth it to you or are you desperate?

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

How much jealousy is healthy? Posted: 5/31/2009 1:51:52 PM
It's never pretty.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 128 (view)

what nationality are the sexiest men and women?? Posted: 5/23/2009 11:02:06 PM
UK! Oh those British accents make my clothes fall off! So well dressed, well mannered, and well spoken!

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

There's no such thing as free sex, right? Posted: 5/22/2009 11:12:22 PM
Whoa. Are you sure about that? Is that really a safe generalization to make? I mean, unless you take a poll, can you really prove that statement to be true? It is self evident. What planet are you from? How many women do you see with your own eyes trying to pick up men for sex? How many men do you see trying to pick up women for sex? You can change your preferences here to accept "intimate encounters" just to see for yourself the tons of men trying to pick up women for hookups while many men here are still waiting and wishing for just one woman to enquire about "intimate encounters" with him.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

There's no such thing as free sex, right? Posted: 5/22/2009 10:42:19 PM
"Well, don't women who have one night stands only want sex?" Well, that usually entails she must have low self esteem, be vulnerable, and plying her with alcohol. It happens. Not often enough for a lot of men, but it can happen. The odds have a better chance if the OP is interested in dating other men just for sex. There would be a waiting list in under 24 hours.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

There's no such thing as free sex, right? Posted: 5/22/2009 10:34:59 PM
Because I care and only because I care about him, not just about sex. He may care only about sex and not about me. Sometimes, I have wished I could do that. I actually went around for a week once forcing myself to think only about sex and make a pecker out of everything. It was exhausting and frustrating. You have my sympathy. I would never want to be stuck like that. I asked my big brother once if sex is all men think about? He said food when we're hungry but horny or hungry and mostly horny just about sums it up. A week long forced effort on my part once was enough to make me glad I am not a man. You may want to try dating men if you're looking for someone else who thinks only about sex. The odds are better than finding a woman.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

My Friend Is Stupid Posted: 5/21/2009 11:26:50 PM
Now do you see why real therapists charge at least $100 per hour to listen to this? Might I add that you can't help someone who doesn't want help but a real therapist can charge for it. It might help him and her both get into real counseling since so often the impetus to get counseling is grounded in nobody else wants anything to do with the patient(s) anymore. If you really want to help this couple with helping that helps instead of helping that hurts, force them to get outside professional help or call it quits. Don't act as a puke pail, punching bag, or doormat in the middle to keep it going. You're not helping. Admit it. There are plenty of worthy causes full of people who want help looking for volunteers devoted to helping others.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

My Friend Is Stupid Posted: 5/21/2009 11:12:00 PM
oh crud it double posted. See below:

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

To flirt, or not to flirt Posted: 5/21/2009 10:47:56 PM
Maybe you're different when you're with a female? Maybe you are more relaxed, confident, open, approachable, available, and friendly rather than "pack mentality" or "lone rabid wolf."

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

does affection turn you off? Posted: 5/21/2009 10:39:07 PM
What you call "affection" might be what I call too pushy and too fast. Kissing is personal and intimate to me. It's not something I do with complete strangers I agree to meet at a coffee shop from the internet. What you call "fear" I call baiting. I'm not dating to play my own version of chicken with men from the internet.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

What is your expectations of the perfect man/women for you??? Posted: 5/21/2009 10:20:46 PM
There is a saying that goes "Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with him/her." Seek and ye shall find. If you look for faults you will find them. You can't examine other people's faults without revealing your own so it will just reflect back on you. Most of the time people like and dislike someone for the same qualities such as (s)he talks too much, and yet if you like him/her it becomes (s)he's such a great conversationalist. So, just be yourself, because some will like you and some won't no matter what you do or don't. I'll tell you what I'm looking for when I find it. Like most women, I look for that gut reaction, and not necessarily anything aesthetic. How I feel when I'm around him. If I like how I feel I find reasons to like him and if I don't I find the same reasons to dislike him.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Can anybody explain this to me? Posted: 5/4/2009 3:20:58 PM
I'm just guessing at it. Most likely, the same thing happened to her, so she wanted to try the shoe on the other foot when she saw you were going crazy for her and she had all the say/rights. It shouldn't feel good to be the user or used. I hope you don't turn around and do this to someone who plays a fool for you.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

do any women really want to meet someone? Posted: 5/4/2009 1:53:13 PM
I've tried "No, thank you," "I'm not interested, but thank you for taking the time to write to me." among other polite responses only to be barraged by hate mail and insults such as "Then, what are you doing on this site?" "What's wrong with you!""I'm furious that you won't even meet me!" with a few expletives. Nothing says that I have to go out with anyone I'm not attracted to at all, that I have to respond or else, or that I have to put up with insults from anyone. Now I just don't respond because I got such nasty replies if and when I did reply to every email. That experience only confirmed my suspicions that these guys weren't the great/nice/good guys they say they are ad nauseum. If there had been one other response to my "Thanks but no thanks" than full of malice I might still reply but I just don't reply if I'm not interested. On the other hand, if I am interested, I will reply. It may not be immediate since I have a full schedule but within a day or two.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Must not do drugs... Posted: 5/3/2009 3:28:54 PM
Yes because the [addictive] personality type of any drug abuser both legal and illegal is too lazy and selfish to be in any relationship. Even the legal drug abusers of alcohol, tobacco, and prescription junkies have legal issues, medical problems, poor interpersonal relations, and employablity problems as well. Food addicts can also join the club of over indulged spoiled brats. An addict is an addict is an addict and it is often the symptom or manifestation of an underlying problem person. I think every last addict should be sentenced to live with an active addict of their chosing for 30 days before demanding the whole world owe them a living. Addicts typically do look for a healthy responsible mature caregiver to bleed dry and serve them. There is no shortage of addicts to move in and mooch off of you. You can easily pick up other pot heads at a rehab. Their families will be grateful for the respite until you're bled dry.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

so is this friendship or somethig more? Posted: 4/19/2009 3:29:56 PM
Close yet far away. It sounds like he can talk to you from a distance until you try to make it real or move in. Some people really do not want a close relationship with other people. Yes, loners, mavericks, antisocials, hermits, really aren't all bad, and surprisingly gifted conversationalists, when they want to talk, but they mostly don't socialize. It's not that they can't talk or communicate, they are good at being alone where most people aren't. Highly social people are terrible at being alone. When they do socialize, they find someone like you. Hermits seem to fascinate highly social "close talkers" the most. It is mutual fascination of why are we so opposite. They can balance each other out as long as they respect each other's boundaries. As far as a long term relationship, don't try to change him into a highly social person and he will always be your friend. I have my hermit friends too. I don't know if you remember that old cartoon of the man who finds a singing frog, only the frog won't sing around anyone else. I respect they want to be left alone for the most part and we have a great time when we get together. I think I'm about the only person they see once a year which is a lot. I have one where we have been friends since 1977 and it hasn't changed. I love him and look forward to talking with him every now and again. Sometimes a whole 5 times a year we meet. Otherwise he's a pen pal. A great pal though and I can talk with him about anything.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Obsession: have you ever been obsessed with someone? Posted: 4/18/2009 9:58:06 PM
The cure for any crush is to get to know him/her. You obviously don't know him/her well enough if you're thinking he/she walks on water. Like I used to adore poetry until I took a class in it. If that doesn't do it, then be the object of obsession or talk with someone who has been the object of obsession. I've been the object of obsession. It's creepy to have someone drooling all over you, watching your every breath, and wanting to burn a lamb at your feet. I do not want to be that obsessed weirdo in anyone's life.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

help I dont know what to do with my gf Posted: 4/16/2009 6:15:01 AM
It sounds like a rebound relationship. It typically doesn't last for more than a year and it only benefits the rebounder to help him/her cut the ties from the prior LTR. Lots of daters shy away from recently separated or divorced for two years because it is a one way deal with the reboundee in ashes. It's up to you to hang around hoping but if she doesn't want you anymore, has moved on, prefers being single, it's over.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

guess i need validation Posted: 4/14/2009 7:04:32 PM
We all meet them, hon. We all don't move in or marry them. You've made some indication with "I'm no prize......I'm getting old...am overweight, etc..." that you have very low self esteem. You would have to have low self esteem issues out the wazoo to be with one of those lying, immature, insecure, controlling, lazy, selfish types we have all met and do our best to avoid. Like leeches, they tend to latch on to any passerby and you can't stop that from happening. However ye ol' you can't stop a bird from flying over your head, but you can stop it from making a nest in your head applies. You've got to shake that leech off and move on. Do try to believe you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. Nobody deserves to be treated with anything less or as/is anyone less. Nobody is perfect, until you fall in love with them.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Commitment problems or just not interested? Posted: 4/11/2009 3:18:56 PM
If he isn't "ready" at 37 to grow up, I doubt he ever will be. And it seems like she is going the other way with a rush to get neck deep in responsibility at 20. Encourage her to live a little before she throws her life away.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

Men don't change, women do? Posted: 4/11/2009 2:53:14 PM
I haven't heard that in a long time and no, I never did agree with it. For me, it's for the feeling I get when I'm with him, which is a relationship based on emotionalism. Emotionalism is a fancy schmancy word for I think with my crotch. I think both sexes are equally guilty of thinking with his and her crotch, and damn lucky if it works out. If it works out anyway, they stay together. If it doesn't work they don't stay together. Lots of other cultures and countries condemn the Western World for thinking with its crotch as far as marriage goes, and I have agreed with it. We call it love and get all caught up in the moment, making life altering decisions when we are not thinking clearly about what works for us or the other party. We love without respect and hope it works out or into mutual respect. Instead of learning if we can work together, respect each other first and then let the love happen.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

It's time....but I can't seem to let go. Posted: 4/2/2009 10:59:41 PM
A distancer pursuer relationship is not a good sign. It's not good for either party. It sounds like everything has to be on his terms or else. If or when he says so because he says so. And he doesn't care. There are too many glaring power and control red flags. Stay away from this guy.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 40 (view)

giving another chance Posted: 4/2/2009 7:59:18 PM
It sounds like you want(ed) to make it real and he liked it unreal. He didn't want to cross over into reality and that fateful moment of it is real or memorex? We are talking about an older man? Maybe he is otherwise reasonably content with his life just the way it is and just likes to entertain the idea once in a while. He knows that a serious relationship means hard work, upheaval, responsibility, compromise, and adaptation. It means dealing with next mood swing in 6 minutes on a 24/7 basis without the benefits or blaming of technology. Love like you have never been hurt. Simple but not easy and few with any experience at LTRs want to take that risk so quickly anymore. So, if you must, and only you know what is right for you, take a chance on having your heart hacked to pieces by the harsh reality of this bozo. The only way you are going to know for certain is to try it again. He's just a man. He might of been fibbing about a few things by act or omission. He isn't all that great or all that terrible. Maybe he likes how you think of him now, and it looks like it is as quite fondly and he doesn't want to lose that by you meeting just a schmuck from Ohio. Good luck and best wishes either way. The ball is in your court.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Pushing people away Posted: 3/29/2009 8:32:13 PM
Maybe he and she both are hoping the other changes his or her mind. In other words, mutual wishful thinking. She is maybe hoping he will want a LTR with her if she holds on for long enough and he is maybe hoping she will want FWB if she gets desperate enough. By monopolizing her time and occupying her thoughts and emotions, she is closing off other possibilities. She should cut him off from any "emotional affair" since it is closing off opportunities for others to advance. Others who may be capable of giving her a LTR. If she is a one man kind of woman, she will want to stick it out with him. The longer she hangs on the more that inevitable parting will hurt her since she is the one who gives a darn. She may not be interested in other men if she is not truly single, and holding out for this one to change. Men can separate love from sex. He can just have sex with one and love someone else. Or he can just have sex without any attachment at all. This is seldom true for women. She can love more than one, but love and sex are synonymous for her.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

What do you think he means? Posted: 3/29/2009 6:02:44 PM
I don't know how you can be insulted by being appreciated by a man. Appreciate is a word many men long to hear so they say it. It does tend to be used by more men than women. Men are more about respect. Love is nothing without respect. This man sounds like he respects you. That is the most highest compliment a man can give is that he respects you. That's what he is saying. Men don't really give as much a fig about love as they do about respect. It would mean a lot to him to hear you use that word for him. In my experience men would rather be respected than loved because love means nothing without it. Read the following definition: ap⋅pre⋅ci⋅ate /əˈpriʃiˌeɪt/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [uh-pree-shee-eyt] Show IPA verb, -at⋅ed, -at⋅ing. 1. to be grateful or thankful for: They appreciated his thoughtfulness. –verb (used with object) 2. to value or regard highly; place a high estimate on: to appreciate good wine. 3. to be fully conscious of; be aware of; detect: to appreciate the dangers of a situation. 4. to raise in value. –verb (used without object) 5. to increase in value: Property values appreciated yearly. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Origin: 1645–55; < ML appreciātus valued, appraised, LL appretiātus (ptp. of appretiāre) appraised, equiv. to L ap- ap- 1 + preti(um) price + -ātus -ate 1 Related forms: ap⋅pre⋅ci⋅at⋅ing⋅ly, adverb ap⋅pre⋅ci⋅a⋅tor, noun Synonyms: 2. Appreciate, esteem, prize, value imply holding something in high regard. To appreciate is to exercise wise judgment, delicate perception, and keen insight in realizing the worth of something. To esteem is to feel respect combined with a warm, kindly feeling. To value is to attach importance to a thing because of its worth (material or otherwise). To prize is to value highly and cherish. Dictionary.com Unabridged Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2009. Cite This Source Explore the Visual Thesaurus »Related Words for : appreciate take account, prize, treasure, value, apprise View more related words » High Def 1080p Projector High Def 1080p Projector in stock. Free Shipping; In Stock & Low Price www.bestavstore.com English Dictionary Looking for English Dictionary? Find exactly what you want today. Yahoo.com Online Word Dictionary Global Dictionary and Thesaurus. Over 100 Languages Available. Listinglook.comSponsored Resultsap·pre·ci·ate (ə-prē'shē-āt') Pronunciation Key v. ap·pre·ci·at·ed, ap·pre·ci·at·ing, ap·pre·ci·ates v. tr. To recognize the quality, significance, or magnitude of: appreciated their freedom. To be fully aware of or sensitive to; realize: I appreciate your problems. To be thankful or show gratitude for: I really appreciate your help. To admire greatly; value. To raise in value or price, especially over time. v. intr. To increase in value or price, especially over time. [Late Latin appretiāre, appretiāt-, to appraise; see appraise.] ap·pre'ci·a'tor n., ap·pre'cia·to'ry (-shə-tôr'ē, -tōr'ē) adj. Synonyms: These verbs mean to have a highly favorable opinion of someone or something. Appreciate applies especially to high regard based on critical assessment, comparison, and judgment: As immigrants, they appreciated their newfound freedom. Value implies high regard for the importance or worth of the object: "In principle, the modern university values . . . the free exchange of ideas . . ." (Eloise Salholz). Prize often suggests pride of possession: "the nonchalance prized by teen-agers" (Elaine Louie). Esteem implies respect: "If he had never esteemed my opinion before, he would have thought highly of me then" (Jane Austen). Treasure and cherish stress solicitous care and affectionate regard: We treasure our freedom. "They seek out the Salish Indian woman . . . to learn the traditions she cherishes" (Tamara Jones). The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition Copyright © 2006 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved. Cite This Source Appreciate Appre"ciate\, v. t. [imp. & p. p. Appreciated; p. pr. & vb. n. Appreciating.] [L. appretiatus, p. p. of appretiare to value at a price, appraise; ad + pretiare to prize, pretium price. Cf. Appraise.] 1. To set a price or value on; to estimate justly; to value. To appreciate the motives of their enemies. --Gibbon. 3. To raise the value of; to increase the market price of; -- opposed to depreciate. [U.S.] Lest a sudden peace should appreciate the money. --Ramsay. 4. To be sensible of; to distinguish. To test the power of bees to appreciate color. --Lubbock. Syn: To Appreciate, Estimate, Esteem. Usage: Estimate is an act of judgment; esteem is an act of valuing or prizing, and when applied to individuals, denotes a sentiment of moral approbation. See Estimate. Appreciate lies between the two. As compared with estimate, it supposes a union of sensibility with judgment, producing a nice and delicate perception. As compared with esteem, it denotes a valuation of things according to their appropriate and distinctive excellence, and not simply their moral worth. Thus, with reference to the former of these (delicate perception), an able writer says. "Women have a truer appreciation of character than men;" and another remarks, "It is difficult to appreciate the true force and distinctive sense of terms which we are every day using." So, also, we speak of the difference between two things, as sometimes hardly appreciable. With reference to the latter of these (that of valuation as the result of a nice perception), we say, "It requires a peculiar cast of character to appreciate the poetry of Wordsworth;" "He who has no delicacy himself, can not appreciate it in others;" "The thought of death is salutary, because it leads us to appreciate worldly things aright." Appreciate is much used in cases where something is in danger of being overlooked or undervalued; as when we speak of appreciating the difficulties of a subject, or the risk of an undertaking. So Lord Plunket, referring to an "ominous silence" which prevailed among the Irish peasantry, says, "If you knew how to appreciate that silence, it is more formidable than the most clamorous opposition." In like manner, a person who asks some favor of another is apt to say, "I trust you will appreciate my motives in this request." Here we have the key to a very frequent use of the word. It is hardly necessary to say that appreciate looks on the favorable side of things. we never speak of appreciating a man's faults, but his merits. This idea of regarding things favorably appears more fully in the word appreciative; as when we speak of an appreciative audience, or an appreciative review, meaning one that manifests a quick perception and a ready valuation of excellence. Appreciate Appre"ciate\, v. i. To rise in value. [See note under Rise, v. i.] --J. Morse. Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Discussing prior relationships Posted: 3/28/2009 10:40:35 AM
If he or she wants to talk about it, it's ok with me but I don't ask about prior relationships. When he doesn't STOP talking about his exes or his past, I probably won't see him again since he isn't over it. She is not in the past, it's in the present in that regard. He can't see or hear what is right in front of him, me. When someone has moved on from their past, it isn't open, it is a closed chapter, finished, next. The majority of the conversation is in the present tense. We talk about what is important to us, and if moving on, starting something new is important to him or her, it shows. I'm not a part of his past, and if he insists on living there, I will become history. It makes me feel like I'm not important and he doesn't care that I'm sitting right there. At any age, what we want out of life today, and how we want to go about doing and being the things that make us happy, is more important. Once I know that, what hopes and dreams are important today, I can decide if we are headed in the same direction and if we can support each other along the way. Never let your memories be greater than your dreams.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Pushing people away Posted: 3/27/2009 10:13:06 PM
It sounds like he wants a friends with benefits or booty call "arrangement." Where he just calls her to meet him for sex only. Most women have to be talked into it or moved into it without him coming right out and saying what she is being set up for. He knows he has got her on the line. She shouldn't pick up the phone or "come running when he calls" at all.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Why does it seems that most of these women are contradictory? Posted: 3/27/2009 10:02:23 PM
Hellow sweetness. It's certainly not your sunny disposition, positive thinking, understanding, and compassion for your fellow Man. It's just you. You get what you give.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

am i to picky Posted: 3/27/2009 9:45:00 PM
Be the man or woman you want to marry is the best way to meet him/her. Become a fashion model turned doctor or studying to be a doctor and it shouldn't be a problem for you to meet the like. You should not ask anyone to do or be anything you yourself aren't willing to do or be.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Question for guys actually, from a guy... Posted: 3/27/2009 9:31:04 PM
If you think 5 years is a long time and a huge age difference, then you need more time. I couldn't agree with you more on don't waste her time with shall you engraciate her with your divine presence? You're not that great. It's not so bad down here in the land of mere mortals. That's the trouble with looking back is missing out on what is right in front of you.

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

still loves ex Posted: 3/13/2009 9:35:55 PM
A long distance FWB or booty call. It didn't cost him anything. It cost you quite a bit. I don't know how you can not be angry? He used you for sex, for a one night stand, after lying to you for months and pretending to be your friend. He lured you off alone, isolated you, controlled you, played you like a fiddle, used you like a toy, and threw you away when he was done with you without a true friend around. Why do you believe anything he says after that? I bet you do wish things were different but it is what it is. This man is useless good for nothing two faced lying scum. There is no wonder why the other one doesn't want him and the fact is she isn't around. He is not worth it to her either or she'd be there. Why would you want anything to do with him or his family who doesn't treat you with kindness and respect?

Thundercloud111

Joined: 10/25/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Wow. Just wow. Posted: 3/2/2009 3:31:40 PM
It sounds like she is not a lesbian and rather she is a bisexual woman. It's the number one fantasy of men to sleep with two women but in reality he loses to the other woman. If the other woman is strictly a lesbian she is not going to put up with boys on the side. There are men and women usually a bisexual couple who don't mind the flings on the side. More often a heterosexual man doesn't mind her same sex with girls on the side, although most of the time she winds up leaving him for the other woman that way. If you are talking about a lesbian, homosexual, or heterosexual, as the other man or woman, they will usually not permit a third. Cheating is cheating and three is a crowd in any committed couple. My sister is bisexual and she has had that same problem for years since she goes after strictly lesbian women or heterosexual men. It is usually the girlfriend protesting about the boyfriend. She says she'll have it sewn shut before she'll live with a man, she prefers to live with women, but a fling is nice. The strap ons just don't do it for her and nothing beats the real thing according to her. She has yet to find a woman willing to put up with her sleeping with a man once in a while, lesbians are not sexually attracted to men, or a man who will put up with her living with the lesbian woman, who doesn't like him, not one bit.

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