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I don't do separated...
Posted: 11/3/2007 9:34:15 PM | Well Hi...am always up for a controversial conversation. I can honestly say I have experienced all parts of this process from both sides....and no matter what I still believe that every person and situation is unique. I was married, two little kiddies and then the ultimate end came about 4 years ago. I can honestly say that when I ended the marriage...I walked away with a clear conscience and knew that I had given it my all. Unfortunately he did not walk away so happy and proceeded to make everything a battle....emotionally and legally.
I did focus on getting my life together and adjusting to coping with a toddler and baby on my own and even though I was over the marriage...I was not going to drag myself and my kids through endless relationships. Ironically my ex is the one bouncing from relationship to relationship and yet he is still not happy and continues to do the wrong thing by me and the kiddies. He has not bothered contacting or seeing his kids for nearly a year now, and to top it off his last low blow was to declare bankruptcy and he purposely left my name on a debt so that the creditors would come after me. Settling kids issues and property was a dragged out affair and very costly and it took nearly two years to finally be divorced. So I finally have that piece of paper...but what does it really mean. 4 years later and he is still trying to get me...'build a bridge and get over it'...I say!!! LOL.
So on the upside...I finally took the plunge and tried this online dating thing!!! I was seeing a guy for a couple of months and he was 'separated' and yes he was still not coping with the fallout...so needless to say...I did the clever thing and moved on!!
I always look on the bright side though...okay it didn't work out...but hey I am back out there and 'yipee' I really do believe there are special people out there.
So back online again and met this amazing guy...yes he was separated...he also lived in a different state...but we just clicked straight away. During the time we were seeing each other, his Divorce did come through and he was definately not going back to his ex. He had taken his time to deal with things before he went online and hadn't seen anyone before me, so I trusted my gut instincts and took the risk.
So why am I back on here then you ask???? LOL.
Due to circumstances beyond our control to do with his Army career and a serious back injury he has had to make the hardest decision to move to Brisbane where his family are. He also has two sons, one he is raising and the other lives with their mum. So we both agreed that it is not fair on either of us to keep doing the long distance thing...doesn't mean we don't care...but the hardest part of dealing with broken marriages and children is that you can no longer be selfish and do whatever you want. You have to look at the bigger picture.
Do I regret the past year now considering things have ended this way....NO WAY!!! After 3 years of being lonely and unhappy... I have had the best year yet.
So in summary... there are no guarantees in life and everything that we do takes courage and risk... so I really do believe that you have to trust in your own instincts and look at each person and each situation separately.
Life will never be black and white...although it would be a helluva lot easier if it was...LOL!!!
Happy 'Love' Hunting | | | |
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