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smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 48 (view)

Need advice on moving out / ending relationship Posted: 7/28/2009 8:59:53 PM
Join the military. Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines. It will get you out of town, out of the country, and give you money and job training you can use in the future. You won't even look back.... ever again!

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

Why she never calls Posted: 7/26/2009 6:39:14 PM
You silly man! Don't you know that men are supposed to do the calling. If you don't call her, she will think.... You're really not that into her. She doesn't know that you are thinking about her... because you are not calling her. Pick up the phone right now and call her.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

SABATOGING NEW BEGINNINGS Posted: 7/26/2009 6:37:06 PM
Always have a back-up plan. Some "neutral" friends... maybe a married couple with kids that you can do activities with... someone who will enjoy your company and cherish the time with you.... a worn out Mom of elementary school-aged kids... always have someone in the background that support and likes you, so you can still have other places to go and other things to do, in the event that things go sour. If you feel you setting up walls, and this is affecting the quality of your relationship, discuss this with the people it affects. This is not such a bad thing. People will embrace you for your honesty. Ask good friends if they can help you out.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

Mood changes and diabetes Posted: 7/13/2009 5:06:29 PM
Wow.... thanks for sharing all this information. I am much more clearer now. He and I are "talking" again. I told him that I went to the FORUMS to get some more personal experiences, and this has helped me tremendously.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Mood changes and diabetes Posted: 7/12/2009 5:58:23 PM
I was too thin-skinned to take the verbal abuse. He didn't tell me he had diabetes until we were in a committed relationship for five months. All I knew is that one day he was normal, and nicely interacting, and a few hours later he became very verbally assaulting. I just chalked this up to abuse and decided to leave the relationship. It is only until later that it occurred to me that it could possibly be a diabetic episode. That is why I decided to ask some people's opinions who have maybe lived with a diabetic. I don't want to read books on theories on this. topic... instead I am using the FORUMS to get other's actual experiences with someone with this disease. So if anyone can please give some constructive advice, like actually telling me about some of your own personal experience. He is also taking zoloft and xanax.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Mood changes and diabetes Posted: 7/9/2009 2:05:43 PM
I broke up with my boyfriend, because I couldn't handle the sudden changes in mood. He has diabetes for fifteen years, and now has to take injections. What type of mood or personality changes do diabetics go through? He is sixty years old.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

The old wife and manipulation. Posted: 7/9/2009 12:09:52 PM
How does she know that you will not molest her children? You are a stranger.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Sex in a LTR. Is a Willing partner enough? Posted: 7/9/2009 12:02:36 PM
You are describing a FWB situation. If you don't want to take her out, or call her often, but just call to have sex, then this is a FCK Buddy. You do not need more than a partner who is simply willing to have sex. This is called a FCK Buddy..... someone you do not need for anything else. Someone who is there when you can't find anyone else. Someone you take advantage of... for a while.... until one of you get simply tired of the situation and he or she dumps you.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

how long should youdate before you know if this is the one for you Posted: 7/9/2009 11:49:53 AM
You need to date for at least six times, doing different activities. Then, if you want to be exclusive, ask her if she is looking for a committed relationship. This means that you date exclusively, only each other. In six months, you will know if she is making you crazy!

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 99 (view)

Would you ever consider? Posted: 7/9/2009 10:56:07 AM
Yes, but just as an activity partner, at first. If there's some extreme intelligence there, of course, it could lead to a tremendous love..... because I love intelligent men.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 48 (view)

Heart Ache Posted: 7/2/2009 3:41:38 PM
Maybe going to the doctor and getting some sleeping medication. The nights are sometimes the worse. Sometimes I eat myself into oblivion. Then I fall asleep and wake up with acid reflux, because of the overstuffing, because I am lonely at night. I watch TV and eat. My dog is getting fat, too... he has snacks with me... doggie treats.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 47 (view)

Heart Ache Posted: 7/2/2009 3:38:35 PM
I agree with you wholeheartedly. The Ups and Downs of relationships are simply not worth it.... the mental anxiety and emotional turmoil is simply not worth it. I am happier and more stable just being alone.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

Why does contact fade? Posted: 7/2/2009 3:01:57 PM
You have to say this to him: I like you. I like you a lot..... probably too much to JUST be friends. I think we should not continue this situation, unless you feel the same way. PAUSE. (Let thim think and talk). If he says yes, he feels the same way... THEN, say this: So, let me get clear on this.... you are saying that you don't want to date anyone else, and you don't want me to date anyone else, so we are in an EXCLUSIVE relationship? Are we exclusive? PAUSE. Let him think and let him talk.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Is it cold feet? Posted: 7/1/2009 5:38:08 PM
The good thing is this..... he is really into you.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 49 (view)

Is this nature's joke on us? Posted: 6/30/2009 5:50:34 PM
The UPS AND DOWNS that you are creating with this type of behavior is appalling. The game you are playing is toxic and will make a poisonous relationship. It will make your female sick. If she is sick already, she will fall for this uncertain, unreliable, unstable type of bad behavior, because this sick feeling of Loss and unpredictability is is somehow familiar to her, probably due to a bad family upbringing. This yo-yo effect can feel the same as bipolar disorder. The uncertainty of "where things are headed " can only be attractive to the most desperate women, who will allow you to abuse them.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Looking for some insight Posted: 6/30/2009 5:18:42 PM
You are his REBOUND person. Do you know what that is.... it's the first person you get involved with, while things aren't settled with your divorce yet. His life is a mess, and he doesn't need a relationship with you! Sorry. He has enough trouble with relationships with his X and the kids. He just wants to have fun.... he just wants to forget responsibility for a little while. You remind him of his X because your relationship with him is serious and committed. He does not want to be in a committed relationship. RUN FOR THE HILLS. Go to Meetup. com, and find some groups to hang with... that way you don't have to get attached to someone.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

Anyone here familiar with the Fundamental Lemma of Differentiation? Posted: 6/30/2009 4:57:16 PM
Google this. You will find an explanation.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 96 (view)

How badly do you want to be in love? Posted: 6/28/2009 6:39:56 PM
Some one who is kind. Kindness is sometimes hard to find in a man.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

Does This Happen to Anyone Else? Posted: 6/28/2009 6:34:23 PM
He did you a favor by letting you know he is an A##HOLE.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

How do you know you won't hear from him/her again? Posted: 6/28/2009 6:23:02 PM
You have to say this..... I like you. I really like you.... probably too much to be JUST friends. So, I think we should not continue this situation, unless you feel the same way..... then PAUSE, wait for his answer. Then, say, am I understanding that you want to be in a COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP? If this is true.... does this mean that you do not want to date anyone, except for me.... and I also agree to not date anyone except for you? In order to get to know one another better? This works every time. You can do it by the third date!

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 47 (view)

Rejecting a person and receiving a nasty reply Posted: 6/28/2009 6:14:03 PM
You probably get more GOOD e-mails than bad ones. So, just think of all the good ones instead.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Whats up with that? REALLY? Posted: 6/28/2009 6:05:00 PM
He is unable to commit to you. You have made things easy for him. You have made yourself VERY available, so he has nothing more to pursue. He cannot chase you anymore. There is no more mystery. You have played your ace of spades. You have given it all to him. He no longer has to win "the prize", because you have given it to him already. He has lost interest quickly. Make yourself less scarce. If he comes around again, don't jump at the drop of a hat. Be nice, but don't be THAT nice.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Is calling someone often considered 'chasing'? if so.... Posted: 6/5/2009 6:56:11 PM
You need to quit hanging around your phone, waiting for him to call you. He's really not that into you. Get back out there and find someone who will call you. This guy is only being nice because you are being so convenient. The more you do, the more he will lose interest in you, because you have taken away his desire to pursue you. You have taken away the challenge. He will not appreciate the extra effort you extend for him. He has to try harder. If he is not trying, then HE'S REALLY NOT THAT INTO YOU.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 34 (view)

One year later Posted: 6/5/2009 4:16:26 PM
She is a psycho! She did him a favor. Why should he care about some PSYCHO, acting out in a fit of rage? Good God. She did him a favor by telling him to get lost.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 32 (view)

What are some good dating sites? Posted: 6/5/2009 3:57:11 PM
Go to Meetup.com It's not a dating site, but a place where people with like-interests can meet. Like, poker, scrabble, Beagle-dog meet up, Red Hat Society, chess, knitting clubs, scrapbookers.... all in your area. If you go there, you will find a group to join, and there's people there. I have had so much at these groups. But, I met someone on match.com that I"m in a committed relationship with. It took almost forty dates to find him. I was starting to give up.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 70 (view)

Give us single Dads a break Posted: 6/5/2009 3:26:20 PM
These women are learning not to date someone like you. Let them learn. They are looking for someone without children, so they can have kids with somebody available to start a family. Sometimes women are just ignorant. Let them learn. Know that when you ask out a woman who has never had children, maybe she is just learning about a situation such as yours. Know that they may respond in the manner quite frequently.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 148 (view)

Long Distance Relationships Do they work? Posted: 6/5/2009 8:20:23 AM
Because you gave him your number, he's really not that into you. If he was REALLY attracted from the start, he would have the hots for you, and he would have approached you first. He will use you, because you are available to have sex with him. If you just want to fly somewhere, have hot sex, then he puts you back on a plane with a bag of chips and a hot dog.... then go for it.... but you can get the same thing out of a bar on the ground in a vehicle, without the hassle of flying. You need to have at least six or seven dates, without kissing.... just doing things in order to learn about each others means of communication, before you hop into bed. If you get a rental car, you can have a means of escape. You really don't want to be a ONE NIGHT STAND, do you?

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

How does someone get rid of the feeling? Posted: 3/26/2009 6:03:18 PM
If you are addicted to the UPS AND DOWNS of a sick and poisonous relationship.... you will never get over it.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

Left me for a teenager!!!! Posted: 3/26/2009 5:58:28 PM
Don't worry. She will leave him when she grows up and gets tired of him..... within three years, probably before then.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 123 (view)

Anyone else feel like giving up because of being unsuccessful? Posted: 1/31/2009 1:03:44 PM
I am feeling like you, too. I feel like that men do not feel comfortable around me, after they see my home. It is a beautiful place, and many have never been inside such a luxurious estate, on acreage, so this makes them feel uncomfortable.... this is just about the time they start to make themselves scarcer, if not removing themselves completely out of the picture. Maybe they don't like all the "hired help". I haven't dated anyone who has as much money as me. I try to hide the fact that I have substantial incomes, but eventually they find out. I mostly go to church, and get invited by groups of members, but it would sure be nice to find someone. I have no problem getting dates "on line", but they usually only last for about three dates.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

How do I get over losing the best girl in the world Posted: 1/30/2009 2:48:09 PM
You were missing your wife from your marriage, so you MAGNIFIED the feelings you had for your newfound love. You were very sad and depressed and lonely when you met her, because of the failure of old marriage, so when your newfound love came by, it made you feel MAGNIFIED LOVE. If you had just been alone for a little while, and got used to loving yourself ALONE, you would not have felt such deep, deep emotional loving. Sorry, but you need to get by yourself and get over your first love.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

need opinons plz Posted: 1/28/2009 7:44:19 AM
He is non-committing and emotionally unavailable. He knows how to "act" as if he cares. Like in drama club.... you know, when you get graded on taking on a part in a play. He got an A in Drama, and now he is using the skill with you. Seems it worked. He got what he wanted. And you fell for his lies. He deserves an OSCAR.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

ughh messed up a great thing... Posted: 1/27/2009 9:14:23 AM
She is embarrassed to be with you because you are friends with her X. You boys gossip behind her back about intimate things that makes her feel embarrassed and wanting to hide. You also said some things while you were drunk. It's not the drinking that's bad, its the BEHAVIOR AND WHAT YOU SAY, while you are drunk that gets you into trouble. She wants to start over from a fresh start with someone new. She wants you to learn from the mistakes you have made, so you can be better with someone else, starting all over again. You have already done irreparable damage, so you cannot mend it back, and the only thing is to LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES and find someone new that you NOW know to treat better.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

My Story Posted: 1/26/2009 7:03:37 AM
He manipulated you with compliments. He got his way by just acting deceitfully nice, then telling you that he loves you. He does not. He only did this "act", as if he were in a drama club, or a "live play", playing a part. Now the scene has ended, and he is on his way to another conquering situation. He will seek out others like you, who are gullible and fall in love with very little effort on his part. He is a player, and preys on those weaker than himself, who do not know his game.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Forgiveness and feeling like the bad guy... Posted: 1/26/2009 6:31:03 AM
There are many stages of grief you have to go through. Guilt, sadness, depression, forgiveness, loneliness. Your big one just happens to be forgiveness. Mine is loneliness.... that's why I'm here for the FORUMS. It makes me feel as if I'm not alone, and I can express myself to others, through writing.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 59 (view)

If you could take it all back, would you? Posted: 1/25/2009 5:38:48 PM
What? You mean give up all of those thrills, chills and ills? You mean, I would actually be healthy? Giving up all those ups and downs of romance.... you are really onto something.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

how do you get through this? Posted: 1/22/2009 7:37:19 PM
Take a DivorceCare class. You will learn about the stages of grief you have to go through, in order to come out of this hole. The stages include, loss, grieving, loneliness, guilt, depression, sadness..... and more. It will take you at least five years to overcome the huge transitional change into a single person again. But, you will be happier. You will get back your health.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Confused Posted: 1/22/2009 7:34:20 PM
We don't know if we will ever find "the one". If we do, he may love us more than we love him. .... Timing is Everything. It's the same thing over and over again. Sometimes you break it off after a lifetime of living together, only to find out, he was your true "soul mate", and no one will be better. Every day is a crap shoot. A gamble. No guarantees. Things change. Time marches on. Every relationship changes over time, anyway. Then, you die.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Broken Heart Posted: 1/22/2009 4:55:12 AM
It's because you do not know the "art" of dating. You are treating yourself like a whore, and expecting men to respect you. Don't fall so fast... friends first. Go out and have fun together. This will give you time to inter react with one another, without the complication that a sexual relationship entails. The longer you go without sex, the more he will fall in love with you. Show him you can be a companion and best friend, before you engage in sex. This takes about six months. Take breaks between. He's not going anywhere. And if he does, oh well, at least he didn't steal your heart.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

Just Harder To Forget Then I Hoped Posted: 1/22/2009 4:46:34 AM
You have a problem with attachment and codependency. Be by yourself for a while, so you can feel what it is like to be happy and your own best friend. Only then, when you experience true freedom, can you ever break your "attachment" problem.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Welcome to Heartbreak Posted: 1/22/2009 4:29:44 AM
You are right, she is wrong. She lacks the wisdom and insight that you have. Sorry.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

he disappeared Posted: 1/18/2009 5:42:29 AM
So, he does something wrong.... and you apologize for it, because somehow you have shifted the blame to yourself. You fell in love too fast. You hardly knew him, yet had IDEAS that you did know him. You probably thought about him a lot, when you weren't with him, and so you blew the relationship way out of proportion. You probably gave him too much, with little effort on his part. If he is showing you little effort, and you are doing all the work... guess what! HE IS REALLY NOT THAT INTO YOU, SO GET OVER IT.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

I'm an idiot. Posted: 1/16/2009 3:16:53 PM
Dating is really a tough game. They all want into your pants. When you don't give it to them, they want you more. So, you just have to wait for a long, long time and not give it to them! Or, they will RUN FOR THE HILLS!

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Dealing with the death of serious boyfriend Posted: 1/13/2009 3:44:01 PM
Don't look for one. Take a class. Join a church. Volunteer singing in a choir at church. Do other volunteer things.... that way you will meet new friends. You have to meet new people, so you can move forward. You will miss him. Do not look for another man, because it will cause you too much anxiety and heartache, if things don't work out! Because then you will be grieving your lost husband, and hurting over your lost relationship with you new beau.... A DOUBLE WHAMMY!

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

ok I'm confused Posted: 1/13/2009 3:39:49 PM
She is getting ready to go back to school, and wants to keep her options open.... in case she meets someone at school.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

My Sister is Breaking My Heart Posted: 1/9/2009 12:15:51 PM
You can always ask your Dad if she can move in with you. You will need a plan to do this... a place where she can work, maybe within walking distance, so she can buy a car. Maybe a school closeby, like a vocational tech. Maybe she can get a school grant. Maybe you should visit a social worker, in order to get some good ideas. They have all the networks and contacts in place.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 54 (view)

What if you were being tracked by your cell phone? Posted: 1/8/2009 6:45:57 AM
He is playing head games... lying, then trying to control you with these lies.... letting you know that he doesn't trust you. He doesn't really care about you, or he wouldn't treat you like a little kid that needs to be tracked. Why don't you ask him if he wants to implant a CHIP on you.... like a dog, so in case you get lost, he can find you!

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 35 (view)

Still online? Posted: 1/8/2009 6:43:12 AM
Get a piece of paper and write these words I'm not sure right now if I want to be JUST friends.... so I don't think we should continue this situation unless you feel the same way. Memorize it. Say it. Pause. Be silent. Wait for his response.

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

Calling in help! What do I do!? Posted: 1/8/2009 6:40:48 AM
All you can do is call her, text her, e-mail her, send her flowers, remember holidays and birthdays. Time will tell. You also may meet the "tomboy" of your dreams in the Army, and decide to make it a career. Go to meetup dot com, when you get your assignment... put in interests and find local groups to hang with, when you get settled. I spent 22 years in the Army, my son fought in Afghanistan and Iraq, and my daughter is marrying a Marine.... good grief!

smileee4u

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

Notches in Gun Belt Posted: 1/8/2009 6:19:34 AM
It happens to women more than men. I don't know what you are complaining about. Most women have a continuing problem with thousands of guys posting you as a FAVORITE, even though they never intend on e-mailing you.... not even ONE SINGLE TIME.

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