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happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Question about women and alpha-males Posted: 11/17/2009 7:52:27 AM
Its not just college aged women that fall for alpha type males and intelligence has nothing to do with it. As one who is more attracted to the alpha male, versus a wimpy male, it just comes down to preference. As someone stated, an alpha male and a PUA are not the same. Many of the alpha males became that way naturally through-out their life, where-as the PUA's had to learn from other PUA's. Their goals are not the same either. Can some of the alpha males just be looking for nookie? Absolutely! But so can the wimpy males. HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

How do you get him off this site? Posted: 11/15/2009 8:46:05 AM
I wouldn't have allowed it to continue for 10 months because it appears that he's still looking for the next, bigger deal. What did he say when you brought it up before? If you two are exclusive (and it sounds as though you are), the profiles should have come down or been altered to reflect the relationship status. If he hasn't done that, its time to cut him loose because he's being disrespectful. HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

ok guys , how often after 3 months Posted: 11/15/2009 8:00:33 AM
Hate to say this, but if there's sex involved, it almost sounds like a FWB situation (at least in the man's mind). If he doesn't see or call you (unless its for sex), that's a sure sign that he's not emotionally involved. Its time to cut this one loose. If there is sex, has that dropped off as well? I talk with my guy every day. We also enjoy PDA (hand holding) and nights out with our friends (girl's night & guy's night). Its been my experience that if the relationshipo is waning after only 3 months, there's a major problem. You should be discussing this with your guy. Best of luck! HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Is it harder to fall in love after you reach a certain age? Posted: 11/7/2009 9:10:14 AM
I have found that most of the divorced men I've met have become rather bitter, either due to child support, losing their house, etc. Its perfectly understandable but because they are not over their 'ex', they aren't likely to fall in love anytime soon. Yet the few I've met who have taken time to be on their own, and to fully heal, are much more emotionally ready. If they aren't emotionally ready, its never going to happen. Personally, I don't think its any harder to actually fall, if one meets the right person. What's harder is the the 'pool' is smaller. Its all a numbers game. There are far more single, emotionally available men in their mid to late 20's than there are at my age range (40's - 50's) because so many are already married or are not emotionally ready. HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Would like to know.....?? Posted: 11/6/2009 8:24:24 AM
As Bad*Monkey stated, we don't know if you've met this guy IRL or not. If not, he's bored. If you have, he's probably keeping you on the back burner until something better comes along. If you've met, and have had sex, he wants to know he can still come back for more. Decide what you want. Nobody can do that for you. HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

interested in man who is still having sex with ex Posted: 11/5/2009 6:33:57 PM
I think a lot would depend on how long they've been divorced. A few people I've known have done the same thing but not anyone I've dated - at least not that I know about. It does sometimes just end up being a FWB situation and so long as it stopped when we started dating, I'd be ok with it. Now if they were recently divorced, I wouldn't go anywhere near that. There's always a chance they could get back together. I would give him points for being honest anyways. HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Money or Wisdom, which do you prefer ? Posted: 11/5/2009 8:24:07 AM
And where does the wisdom come into play? After all, your title was money or wisdom. Is the rich guy hot? I would only spend the rest of y life with someone with whom I was in love with. If it was a rich, boring guy - then so be it (though I doubt I'd fall for him). I did fall in love with a man of modest means when I met my hubby and again with the ex-bf. I was happy and that's all that counts. Being rich is not everything its cracked up to be, though just once Id like to live like Oprah-like that's ever going to happen. HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

What is really being said? Posted: 11/4/2009 7:41:43 AM
I won't go camping unless there is a camper. I don't own a motorcycle and have no plans on buying one. I've been on the back of a bike once in 30 yrs. I do exercise - maybe not as often as I should. As to sex....you got it. No nookie unless there's an exclusivity clause. I'm not having sex with strangers. My toys are my friends and they don't carry or cause std's. They are also user friendly. Satisfaction guaranteed! So why would I want to have sex with someone I don't know? Someone that maybe having sex with others? Makes no sense to me! womaninprogress.....Some women may have fvckbuddies...but I'm thinking a lot or even most women don't. Men always seem to think that if we aren't having sex with them, that we're having it with someone else. I guess when a woman comes in here stating that too, it makes it all more believeable. Geesh! I could have a buddy....but I don't want one. Sex without an emotional attachment is just plain sex. Its actually using someone else to get one's self off. I can do without that crap. I do better with my toys. I'm sure there are plenty of women out there that will sleep with strangers-there's enough threads about that here. If that's all you're after, just keep trying but be honest about your intentions! HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

can YOU guess his problem???help Posted: 11/4/2009 7:28:57 AM
What the hell is with you people that think going from relationship to relationship is a good thing? Supposedly you have a degree in psychology. Again, one would think you'd know better. You are both out of a 7 yr relationship. Take some time OFF and grow the hell up! Neither of these guys would be worth mytime but if you like being an available twat, that's up to you. I'd dump both their asses and never look back. HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

What do you think? Posted: 11/1/2009 10:29:33 AM
I was willing to be a father for her son Holy shiat! You dated for a month and you were ready for this? I think you probably overwhelmed the poor girl with your feelings and she ran. TheHandyMan has a great point! Most women will run from a man that profuses intense feelings too early. I wasnt stopping her from getting a job Maybe she was looking for a man that could support her without her having to find a job. So she's out of work, with a small child. Hmmm...that probably would have sent most men running! I would think this is a lost cause. Its obvious she lost interest, as soon as her communication changed. Why so many people try to text emotional things is beyond me! When a heart to heart talk is called for, what's wrong with the damn phone or seeing them in person? Better luck next time! HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Would you ever let your friend have your child? Posted: 11/1/2009 10:18:00 AM
Geesh! You're only 20 - still almost a child. I sincerely hope you're not thinking of impregnating someone solely to father a child! I couldn't see it ever happening. As a woman, I could always use artificial insemination, if I wanted a child badly enough. As a man, you would need a surrogate mother. Now depending on the relationship between you and the surrogate, I guess its plausible for something like this but its all in the details! Custody arrangement, financial arrangement, etc. Would I have a male friend's child? No, because I could never give the child up. Now, could I have my sister's child? Absolutely (well if it was still physically possible-which its not). There are so many children up for adoption. Granted, most are older kids and they are the ones that truly benefit from wonderful parents. HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

What's on this girl's mind? Posted: 10/31/2009 8:44:17 AM
I have to ask whether your children had grief counseling (or other counseling) after the loss of their Mother. My sons were 9 when my hubby died and we did not have the counseling. It was a lot easier at their age to discuss their feelings and such, as they were not teenagers. My good friend lost her husband 2 1/2 yrs ago and her sons (18) are still having a hard time with it. Teenagers have so much hormonal stuff to deal with, that grief can sometimes be too much. The anger from your son should be a clue. Perhaps he/they feel that you have deserted them? Some anger in teenagers is common - ask an pediatrician. But sometimes that anger is really a cry for help! I agree with the other posters. If you felt that your daughter was sabbotaging your relationship, chances are - she was. She does sound like the typical 'entitled princess' which seems to be the case with most young adults and I use that term loosely here. She sounds very irresponsible, rude and immature. I think the woman in question has pulled away but doesn't want to loose touch with you. She may just be keeping you on the back burner until something else comes along, or she could just be waiting until all of your children leave the nest. In any event, you should be asking her. Good luck! HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

if a guy show you a true deep interest? Posted: 10/31/2009 8:22:23 AM
I even tested this in a club many times... Instead of checking out all the hotties, I concentrate on one girl and eventually she notice that...but I never give up...all night I try to get her attention and in almost all cases it works...Even though they ignore me at first, eventually they change their mind after... Could the consumption of alcohol been a factor? Eventhough the 3 yr relationship you referred to worked, it didn't last forever, so how effective was it really? To me, they have to have something that I'm attracted to. As some of the girls stated, if I can't picture myself naked with him, its never going to happen - no matter how much attention he pays me. He may end up being a great friend, but it will never turn into a relationship. If someone at a club was to stare at me all night and I did not find him attractive - in some way - it would be just creepy! I'd probably walk right up to him and confront him. HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Does being a father scare women away? Posted: 10/31/2009 8:16:07 AM
You should be upfront and definitely say 'yes' on your profile. Leaving it as 'prefer not to say' makes it seem as if you are hiding something. Now you list yourself as 'single', so one would assume that both of the children were born out of wedlock and that you never married their mother(s). That might pose a problem for some. I think women look more favorably towards a man that was married with kids, then one that was never married yet has two children. If you were once married, its a lie to list yourself as single, because you will always be a divorced man (until you wed again). To be honest, if I was 20+ yrs younger, I'd never get involved with a man that was already divorced at 24 with two small kids, nor would I get involved with a man that fathered 2 kids without benefit of marriage. Perhaps the new generation views it differently. You're only 24. So I would think it would be a lot for most women to take on, yet if the women don't like it, they aren't the ones for you anyways. Never be ashamed of your children! They did not ask to be born. I'm sure there are some women who will not care that you have children, so long as you are a responsible father (and I'm not talking about strictly financials). HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

what Do I do about this??? daft question.. Posted: 10/30/2009 8:46:37 PM
Your profile says you are a psychologist. With your advanced learning, you don't understand what's going on in this mess? He's trying to control you-its as simple as that. You are an enabler. You do know what this is, right? You have allowed (and are still allowing) him to manipulate you. Nothing will change until you realize that you deserve better. Good luck! HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

What is he thinking? Posted: 10/30/2009 1:11:10 PM
please tell me what could be making him take back his promises. Ik i have to let him be there for his baby mama but i was here waaaaaaaaaay before all this happened and he just keeps pushing me off to the side to do something else. Idk whats going on anymore. He likes your friendship and the sex but you are not gf material in his eyes. He does not keep his word, puts you on the back burner and cheats on his gf's. Why would you want someone like that anyways? One that will sleep with your best friend? Why would you want a best friend that will sleep with a guy you've been in love with for 3 yrs? Sounds to me like the whole lot of you need to grow the fvck up - before that poor child comes! None of you are mature enough to even raise the poor baby! He's young. He's not ready to settle down, especially if he's been with the same girl for 3 years (but it doesn't sound like that's the case). Most guys that age think about sex 24/7 and will try to get as much as they can - whenever they can. Wasn't that obvious when he was fvcking your gf and his gf at the same time? Again, is that the type of man you want? HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Need Advice About A Girl I Like Posted: 10/30/2009 10:00:46 AM
it seems that she is splitting up with her boyfriend. So she may not even be broken up yet. Until she is free and she's had time to deal with the emotions of the break-up, I'd be careful about doing anything. As you said, you don't want to be the rebound guy. Yet it could be hard to broach her at the right time. If you come in as a friend, its sometimes very difficult to get out of that friend zone. If you come in as a suitor, she probably won't be looking to date right away - unless she is the one doing the breaking up but maybe not even then. If she has been with the same guy for over a year, I would think she'd need time to reach an even keel again, though not everyone seems to take the time to get their shiat together before moving right onto another relationship. But there is nothing wrong with just asking her out for coffee. HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

Making an Excuse to Party on Halloween - Roadblocks if any? Posted: 10/30/2009 9:53:32 AM
For the 1st time in my life, I'll be going out to a bar with a costume/karaoke party ( my local watering hole). I'm meeting a bunch of friends and we're going to have a blast! The owner of the bar will always give me a ride home but for the party, he will be arranging free rides home for anyone that over indulges. We live in a very small, rural town - without bus or taxi service. The local cops will also give rides home to patrons who should not drive. So its going to be a lot of fun. I haven't been to karaoke with the girls for months, and since most everyone knows everyone else, its like a huge block party. Ok, yeah, I'm almost 50, but its still going to be fun! HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

His friend's jealous Posted: 10/29/2009 9:02:57 PM
Now why can't the guy still be into the OP and also just wanted a night with the guys? Why does it have to be one or the other, as some have stated? Now if she talks the way she writes, then holy shiat no wonder he's staying home and getting drunk with his friends. Could his friends be jealous? Possibly. Are you jealous? Most probably. Stop being so insecure and allow him time with his friends. It'll do you both some good! I think part of it is that you are stuck at home with small children and he's free to go out (or stay at his place) and have fun on his own. Grow up Cinderella! Geesh! He is entitled to a life. He had one before he met you. Now why you would post a main photo (or any photo) wearing your wedding ring is beyond me! HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Friendship into relationship. Posted: 10/29/2009 8:36:18 PM
When I end up being friends with a girl i like, I tell them how I feel but when I do they put me in the friendzone which in others words means rejection. Now I know what I been doing wrong, theres no sexual tension between us but I don't want to get physical because I don't want her to think I'm after her for sex cuz I'm not that type of guy There has to be some attraction/chemistry or its never going to elevate into a relationship-IMO. Are you at least kissing these women, or showing other signs that you are romantically interested? Because for me, if he doesn't show he's attracted in that way, I'm going to assume its just friends. And if its just friends, it will never revert to a friendship. In truth, I think it all boils down to chemistry. Maybe these women just weren't feeling it. That is one thing that is either there or its not - for me anyways. If its not there at the beginning, trying to form a relationship later on will not make it suddenly appear. Good luck! HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

How bad can a kiss really be? Posted: 10/29/2009 10:09:15 AM
Its its too slobbery and he's spearing my uvula, its a bad kiss. If he has beer breath, its a bad kiss. If he's got garlic breath or any other foul tasting breath - its a bad kiss. If he puts too much teeth into it or licks my face, its a bad kiss. I think kissing really is an art form and one needs lots of practice to perfect it. It really is one of those intimate things can that make or break a relationship-IMO. When there's lots of chemistry involved with the right person, great kissing is enough to wet the panties. Practice, practice, practice! HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Is he toying with my head? Posted: 10/28/2009 7:29:36 PM
Wow, you are one messed up young lady! First you move in with a man you don't even know and now you complain about what he's doing? Shouldn't you have figured that out before you moved to his town and in with him? What if he's some psychotic killer pr something? Sure he helped you in your time of need, but look at what he expected in return. It was not a gift from the heart. Secondly you question whether or not your weight has something to do with him choosing to bang both his ex and you. It sounds like you're really suffering from low self esteem and that could also be the reasons for your actions. Wasn't there anyone else to turn to? Even a shelter is better than giving it up to a man who is only using you. Crap! At least make some fooking money at it! He's using you, not just for your bed skills, but for the 1/2 the bills and most of the household chores. Aren't you worth more than that? To keep on as you are, you will only develope further feelings and that's not going to help. Find a way to leave but have a sane place to go to (not another stranger's bed....unless you're getting money for it...j/k). There must be shelters or some non-profit agency that might be able to give you bus fair back to your town. Down the road (as soon as possible), I'd recommend some counseling to try to figure out why you think that's all you deserve. If you ever want to really date (as your profile suggests), you might want a review because I'm sure your profile is a magnet for those manipulating types! THere's lots of insecurity and such there but I loved the joke! HR EDIT I wasn't trying to hurt you, I was hoping it would open your eyes a bit and make you face reality. I'm guessing the guy is also older than you, too. I'm sure he likes nothing better than having a young'un at home - at his beck and call. If you have a graduate degree, why are you working in the oil fields? Not sure how it is in Canada, but you couldn't possibly be old enough to have obtained one in the U.S. Should have listed a lesser degree that was more believable. SUNDEVIL....She had NEVER met this man, before packing her bags and moving in with him! That is mental! She's a woman, moving in with a man she had never met. At her age, I had already been living with my hubby to be for 6 yrs, so I never had to face dating and crap till I was in my mid 40's! I was very naive and trusting then too. Its different when a man bring a strange woman into his house, versus a woman moving into a strange man's house.

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Why would the Ex be checking me out? Posted: 10/27/2009 5:51:29 PM
If you were using the main photo you currently are, it could be that he couldn't tell it was you. Its not a close up face shot and you are wearing shades, so....... Why would it bother you? Unless you broke up with him because he was crazy or something. HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

fake improvements Posted: 10/27/2009 4:24:38 PM
1: Doesn't matter to me, so long as it well done and you are happy with it. But if I hear any whining, I'll take a scalpel and fix it, ok? 2: You can wear lifts, so long as you can walk in them. But I have no idea why you'd want to wear lifts when we'd be in bed having hot monkey sex most of the time anyways. 3: Tanning products are fine, so long as they don't rub off on me and my linens. If they do, I'll torch them and roast you for free, ok? (I always want to be 6 inch:) I'd want you to be at least 6" too! HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

No upload button for pictures Posted: 10/26/2009 2:08:43 PM
Today I went in and the upload button was there, so I was able to load 2 more. It was bizarre though!

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 3 (view)

No upload button for pictures Posted: 10/25/2009 8:48:30 PM
I'm having the same problem, and I only have 6! I did last upload a pic on 10/20 and it was there then (obviously!). I went to upload more today and I can't as there is no option. I was going to upload 2 more, I had 7. I deleted one to make room for the final 2. I had 8 at one time though but that was a few weeks ago. Did they decrease the number of photos and not tell us yet? Any ideas? HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

conversation after the first date Posted: 10/25/2009 8:55:56 AM
Why are you writing to ask her out for a 2nd date? Why haven't you called her? Geesh! Maybe she was waiting for you to grow a set and found someone else in the interim? If she hasn't given you her number and you're just emailing, I'm guessing she found someone else that was more interesting. HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Are people that have been in FAITHFUL ltr's better lovers? Posted: 10/24/2009 9:31:51 PM
Thanks ismene2 for answering the question. I didn't mean to repeat the exact topic that was being discussed in the referenced thread. My question was simply whether or not people have found that the folks that remained in faithful long term relationships were better lovers, in their personal experience. I was only asking it because it was the opposite of what the other thread was trying to state. But the reason why doesn't matter. I was just curious, that's all. HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

what guys want in a solid woman,when to GO! Posted: 10/24/2009 1:24:15 PM
I agree with Navigator (again) . There's a reason why you place yourself in these kind of relationships and that needs to be discovered before you are mentally ready for any other relationship. You've been here since '07, looking for longterm - yet have been in a relationship all of that time. Are you looking for more punishment? Or maybe you just recently - like today- put down long term? I don't understand why some people come to a dating site when they are in a relationship. Hopefully you'll leave and not look back. You (and your children) deserve better but until you realize that and take that counseling, its never going to get better. Best of luck! HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

guys self proclamations Posted: 10/24/2009 1:17:32 PM
Most men seem to have this magical, delusional mirror that reflects back a hot man that looks 10-15 yrs younger than he is. Oh yeah...and the men that state they are good looking usually do say they look younger than their age. To date, I haven't found any of them attractive. Personally, I think it reeks of arrogance. I think men rate themselves (on a whole) a lot higher in the looks department than most women would ever think to do. Someone can think he's an 8, where 10 out of 10 women will only think he's a 4. Just my .02 Now can I have one of those magical mirrors? HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Marriage to do it or not to do it Posted: 10/23/2009 11:36:43 AM
Since my only marriage ended in death (after 23 yrs together), I would not hesitate to marry again. As an only parent with kids at home - that paper made all of the difference, in more ways than one. I wouldn't be receiving the benefits I do for my sons if it wasn't for that paper and I wouldn't have had the legal authority to take my husband off the respirator and he would have ended up a vegetable for the rest of his life. His wishes also would not have been carried out as far as funeral arrangements. His sister wanted him buried beside his father. My husband expressed the desire to be cremated. I followed through on what he wanted done. His sister also tried talking me into donating his organs. While I am an organ donator (or will be), my husband did not want to be an organ donor. Again, because I was the legal spouse and not next of kin, his wishes were granted. My marriage was happy. Why would I not want to do it again? I do not plan on ever having another big wedding though. Once was enough. HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Girls what attracts the most - Humor - Money - Looks ? Posted: 10/23/2009 11:28:59 AM
Looks, humor and then money. If I'm not sexually attracted, no amount of humor or money is going to change that. Its not someone's humor or money that makes the panties wet, sorry! But they had better have a great personality and intellect, too, or they'll never get naked with me. HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Why does he have to text/call all the girls from his past? Posted: 10/22/2009 8:25:10 PM
I certainly wouldn't put up with it but if you've put up with it for 2 yrs, it'll be hard to draw the line now. But speaking of cheating...does he know you're on here looking for long term with no mention of being in a relationship? To me, that would be a much bigger deal! HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

girls playing too hardtoget or are they just that way Posted: 10/22/2009 7:22:46 PM
It must be something in the water you young'uns are drinking, cause there seems to be lots of these threads tonight from the young 20 somethings! Yes a lot young women that would be in your age range can be shallower than others, but blame the damn media-not all of the rest of the women on here. Of course, if you didn't just try for the 10's, you may have more luck. Are you only looking at pics and emailing from there? Realize that those women get tons of mail a day-so unless you stand out somehow, you're sunk. I would suggest a profile review. Your profile comes across as just looking for sex im not looking for marriage or anything although i hope to be married one day im just looking for someone to watch movies with and hold hands. id like to go to a nice place with low lights and maybe just get to know each other You're certainly handsome enough (if only I was 20 yrs younger and liked whiney men), so it must be your profile. Most women seem to be looking for tall, dark, handsome and you've got that covered. Work with what you have and don't take everything so personally. HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

That time of the Month... Posted: 10/22/2009 6:05:13 PM
if it was the first time you were having sex with a chick and there was the TINIEST amount of blood? Hopefully he knows you're not a virgin! I say talk to him and just explain it. If you can't do that, you're not ready to have sex anyways. Chrisofpa.....You do know that the lambskin ones are almost useless against std's, right? I know they are really comfortable for the man, but according to my ob-gyn, because they breath (they are animal skin) , they do not always keep out the bad stuff. He said they should be taken off of the market as they are not helpful for pregnancy either, for the same reason. They are still better than nothing, but not nearly as good as standard latex condoms, except for comfort. HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

Profile Review please Posted: 10/22/2009 3:55:48 PM
You're of smaller stature - that's the problem - well besides the angry pics and profile...and besides the lies about a graduate degree. If one cannot even spell basic words, its unlikely they've attended six to eight years (or more) of college. Ummm...lets see. That means you would have had to have graduated high school at 16 and entered college at 17 to have obtained a graduate degree by 23. Nice try. You would have had better luck selling a bachelor's degree but not with your spelling. Why bother at all if you've only had 3 emails in 3 yrs! I would have given up years ago! You live in a populated city - surely there's lots of young women around. I know that Va tech isn't all that far from Richmond, so there's got to be lots of young ladies. But with an attitude like yours, no one is going to give you the time of day. If one is already short - its hard enough. Add in a sucky attitude and its damn near impossible to find a date. I'd rewrite the whole freaking thing but unless you put up less imposing pics and remove the lies about your education, its not going to make a difference. HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Some people aren't meant to be married. Posted: 10/22/2009 1:41:12 PM
Yeah Sabrousura, I'm with you. I think those pics were downloaded or scanned from some magazine. If not, where's the full body shot? They find you attractive and since you do indicate that you are open to a serious relationship in your profile (if they're willing to relocate), they hope you'll take them up on it. Just hope you're not like the typical player and are more honest and upfront about your intentions. HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

profile review over 45 Posted: 10/22/2009 11:10:01 AM
OP, as you may have discovered, a lot of men don't read the profiles but email every lady in their area. If you're truly looking to intellectual men, I would suggest spelling it out on your profile - in a nice way. Maybe something along the lines of "Seeking a man that can challenge me intellectually, as I like a man that can use his mind". I found one profile of a guy in my area that came right out and said "college graduates only and they must be of the white collar working arena". Now I thought that carried it a bit far and will certainly narrow his search, but I bet he gets contacted by exactly the type he's looking for. I thought what was there was light and funny, yet I didn't walk away with much of an impression. Of course, I'm old school - I prefer a longer profile. MORE pictures and full body shots are required. Something non-professionally taken-most men are afraid of the glamour shots - unless the women are scantily clad. No Im' suggesting you remove your clothes! HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

45 year old guy looking for input please Posted: 10/22/2009 11:01:20 AM
I'd take out the part about how you look younger. Geesh! I wish I had one of those delusional mirrors! Everyone looks thier age, some just look better. I see that stooopid line in most men's profiles and when I do, I just click on by. Mainly because it tells me that they are hoping to attract the younger women (at least 10 yrs younger) and see - you backed that up! Now can I borrow the magical mirror? I too would move that first line. As someone stated, it shows up in the search - at least the first few words but the person doesn't see the whole line. So they have no clue that its a joke. All in all, not too bad, but nothing really strikes me as original either. HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Reality check Posted: 10/22/2009 9:52:21 AM
I hope you realize that you can have the best profile out there and its not going to gurantee that you meet someone with whom you share chemistry with. When I first started dating, I probably met 35 - 40 men before I met one that I had chemistry with. Its all in the numbers and its not something that can be forced. I think your profile is wonderful, though the part where you claim you are awesome could be construed as arrogancy. Its great that you have self confidence but I thought the self esteem showed through your profile enough without the added effort of claiming to be awesome. Let the women themselves determine whether they think you're awesome or not. Good luck!

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

Is there such a thing as innocent flirting? Posted: 10/21/2009 8:17:04 AM
If all you were doing is dating and not in an exclusive relationship, he is free to do as he pleases. Now if he was in an exclusive relationship, and was sending on offer to contact for pics, I'd have a problem with it. It all comes down to the boundaries that were set and what the 'exclusive' part meant to either of you - if it fact you were exclusive. Yes, there is innocent flirting, flirting with your waitress/waiter and knowing full well you'll never see him/her again. Flirting with the lady at the bank, etc. But I think that online is a totally different animal. I personally don't agree with either party staying on a dating site if they've found someone. Yeah, its great to follow the forums, but they are not that important to me that I would risk a relationship if it made my s/o uneasy. And to stay simply to offer advice on profiles? Not a valid enough reason in my book! Yes, we've all made friends here. So what's wrong with using real email addys to stay in touch? When someone has a history of cheating, not just once, but multiple times, I think its even more of an issue if he stays on a dating site - for any reason. I think you escaped and should consider yourself lucky! HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Have you ever been dumped soon after a guy got you into bed? Posted: 10/21/2009 7:42:21 AM
that's a lot of lonely nights with only your principles for company. I'm sure principles are not the only thing she has for company. There are toys, ya know? Yeah, it happened to me once or twice, when I first began dating. I was too naive - never having dated as an adult. It made me feel used and to question my judgement of him, as I thought I knew him. Now I've learned to read those red flags. As with most things, one learns from their mistakes or they stop growing as a person. HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 8 (view)

30 something's with braces? Yay or Nay? Posted: 10/21/2009 7:23:12 AM
I've never had braces but both my sons did. There is major pain involved (or at least there was for my kids) and Alwaysexpect miracles was right-they are a lot of work. I've never dated or kissed a guy with braces but my gf said it took her a while to get used to hers, especially the kissing part. She got them in her late 30's to close a gap between her front teeth. If you're a great kisser now, expect to have to practice to reach that plateau again. I applaud anyone who takes care of their teeth! HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Are people that have been in FAITHFUL ltr's better lovers? Posted: 10/20/2009 8:05:52 PM
I didn't agree with the other thread's mentality - at all. This is probably more aimed at those that did agree with that thought process. I should have been more clear.

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

am i being an idiot? Posted: 10/20/2009 7:43:23 PM
Do you think he's not dating/seeing others? Get real! You not only haven't even met yet, but you only speak on the phone every few weeks, yet you're infatuated already? I bet this guy has several 'women' who he plays his game with. He could come back and ask for financial help getting back to the UK and because of your feelings, I bet he gets the cash. Now he could be perfectly legitimate, yet the fact that your falling for someone you've never met seems a bit naive. Anyone can be anyone they want to be via email and over the phone. Its not until you meet irl that you can hopefully determine whether or not that person was full of shiat or not. Until you can really get to know him - irl - and determine that his actions match his words, keep your feelings in check, get out to meet other men and don't send him any money! I've found that if you can't meet within a couple of weeks, its too easy to build up ideal expectations of the person and once you meet, you end up terribly disappointed. HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Are people that have been in FAITHFUL ltr's better lovers? Posted: 10/20/2009 7:20:14 PM
Ok, decided to start this one after seeing the one about how the partner that was cheated on must be bad in the sack or the cheater wouldn't have strayed. If you haven't seen it yet, here's the link. http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts13288300.aspx If you agree with the mindset in the other thread, that the cheater only cheated because the sex was bad, then it must mean that those of us that have been in faithful, long term relationships (15+ yrs) are better lovers, because our partners did not cheat. Agree? Disagree? Are people that have been in faithful ltr better in bed? I'm assuming its an individual thing-same as everything else. I simply took the other thread a step further and wanted to your thoughts. Happy

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

How long til girls get the pregnent tummy Posted: 10/20/2009 6:26:53 AM
I don't care how thin she is, its just not possible for a pregnancy to 'show' at 4 wks. Most women don't even know they're pregnant by then (until they miss their first period). I'd agree with her having to be at least 12 weeks along to show - unless she's having multiples. Did she already have the bump when she met your friend? Has she ever bee pregnant before? Even if she has - 4 wks is still way too early. My sister in law was very thin and she got pregnant again 14 months after her first child. Even carrying twins, she didn't show about week 12 . If he stays with her, make sure he has a paternity test done. He should kindly tell her that he will insist on one and I bet she 'fesses up to the truth. Its not his. HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Would you date a girl with medical issues? Posted: 10/18/2009 8:17:18 PM
At your age, so long as you were able to be intimate and have sex, most would probably overlook the condition - IF it was not apparent by looking at you. I put the 'if' in there, because at your age, most of them are very superficial. If you were not able to have sex, then I'd have to say that most would not overlook the condition. But that's not to say that some one will not date you. Best of luck and I hope things improve! HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 48 (view)

Dating someone who`s a Cigarette Smoker and your not. Posted: 10/18/2009 7:56:37 PM
Here it is 2 days later and you still haven't discussed this with her? I would ask her why she was smoking? Has she quit recently but the sex was just so great, she had to have one? Or does she smoke more often? If she smokes frequently, I would have thought you'd have caught a whiff of it before now. Yet I know of a woman who is on here, who showers, brushes her teeth and never has a butt until again until after her date. She sprays her car and no one has caught on yet. What she thinks will happen if anything ever goes beyond a few dates is beyond me! I never thought I'd be interested in someone with back hair, yet here I am. He doesn't smoke and he never thought he'd date a smoker (me). Yet both of us are willing to work around these obstacles because they are not complete deal breakers to us. However, lying would be a dealbreaker. I would have ended it had I found out a signficant lie. I know of several people that are on here that indicate they do not smoke - when in fact they do and often. I'd rather be upfront about it-it saves a lot of hassle. Nickster, one doesn't have to smoke to die in their mid-40's. My hubby never smoked, he was always in shape and had physical jobs, yet he was the one to die of a torn carotid artery that caused a major stroke. Granted it was a freak and rare thing, but I've heard of many non-smokers that died while jogging or such who were relatively young. When its your time, its your time. OP, I'd talk to her - the sooner the better. Let her know you are not happy to have been lied to especially when she knew smoking was a deal breaker for her. Then toss her to the curb for lying. HR

happyrebel

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 49 (view)

My ex-husband cheated = The sex was bad Posted: 10/18/2009 7:31:36 PM
And although I can't speak for most guys, we also want a variety. Overtime, guys tend to get bored of banging the same woman over and over. 808 syndicate...You're only in your mid 20's! How long of a relationship could you possibly have had that was long enough to become bored? Christ! I was married longer than you've been alive - and we both stayed faithful. I agree with wishesgranted. I think there are some people who will cheat no matter what, just because they can. The more they cheat, the better they get get a hiding it and the easier it becomes. My last bf was like that. He cheated in his marriage, he cheated with me, he cheated with the girl that replaced me, and he's already cheated on the new gf. Are all of us so bad in bed? I don't think so! A wucken fay.....See above. I think there are individuals who get off on cheating - the thrill of illicit sex and not being caught. While its nice to think that it only takes keeping your man's interest, that it will always be enough but there are too many stories out there to believe it. THough it did work in my marriage but not with my only boy friend since then. He was a narcissist and I doubt if he's ever been faithful to one woman in his whole life. I don't think he could be. So OP, by your logic, if the 'cheated on' is a lousy lay, does that mean that those of us were in 20 + yr faithful marriages, (till death did us part), are the best sexual partners? Just because our partners never cheated on us? Your logic is skewed! But nice try! HR

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