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chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 408 (view)

Prenuptial Agreements and Maximum Child Support payment! Posted: 3/11/2009 10:00:35 PM
OP prenups do not include what doesn't exist before the marriage.....it is to establish what both parties are bringing to the marriage as individuals....also the law of jurisdiction must be addressed..... Your friend sounds like a real jerk, he wants a divorce decree before even getting married. P.S Why are you asking opinion for a legal matter, have your friend ask a lawyer!!

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 60 (view)

admiting a big fault on the first date....should we be honest? Posted: 3/11/2009 9:48:50 PM
NO YES NO The past is the past, I your friend is changed then he will put off anyone interested in him. If the relationship becomes serious then reasons for the breakup of previous relationships will come up, by then the new relationship will have been established and being more open about the past may be easier.

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 172 (view)

care and bi-polar Posted: 3/11/2009 9:33:02 PM
OP you and your lady friend need professional help!!!! This is not a new problem for this lady . If she needs meds and therapy to help with her problem then you can only be supportive and assure her that you would go with her to get help... if she refuses all you can do is attend to your own life and when she comes out of her depressed portion of her cycle she may realize what she must do....most people with bi-polar hit a bottom before asking for help, and if feeling good don't ask untill there behavior is out of control.... This may requier a tough love situation...Good luck

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 355 (view)

Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable? Posted: 11/10/2008 11:14:51 PM
I also wanted to throw this in... for that matter you would want to include,things like if you lose your hair, teeth, get wrinkles., menopause.......prenups are for finances, not not a warrranty. Marry someone who has the same Ideals as you and these things won't be an issue... If someone asked me to marry then said hey by the way if you get older I'm gonna divorce you.......you can guess what the answer would be.

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 456 (view)

Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship? Posted: 11/10/2008 12:28:41 AM
I'm glad that I follow my rule of getting to know somone first.... Having experianced both sides of that fence, there is lust, or chemistry whatever you want to call it then there is like, and Love. I chose the Like - Love route.... lasts longer. I found if you really don't know someone you can find yourself with issues you didn't want . Having sex with someone you really have feelings for only makes it better..... I don't think you know enought about a persons motive even if there is chemistry on the first date.....That makes them want a second date, doesn't it?

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 353 (view)

Prenuptial - maintaining physique - is it reasonable? Posted: 11/10/2008 12:00:32 AM
O.P I can't believe that If you Love someone that you would even concider including something like health or weight. If you are happy and in your mariage for the long haul then most people will maintain health and a healthy life style. If you interject the stress that if one should gain weight, especially for women who bare children and usually gain weight, wil feel threatened that their marriage will be over before even having children......no pressure....What about all the middle aged men with bellies hanging over their belt buckels? G-d forbid you should find yourself in that position and your health goes...... I guess Love also goes right out the window......Don't be so negative and shallow

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 460 (view)

Dinner Date - Who Pays? Posted: 8/16/2008 1:10:35 AM
You know , macopin, you just shot down your own philosophy....If I am going somewhere with FRIENDS, we discuss our financial arrangement. If I ask someone I wish to consider a possible LOVER I don't treat them like a pal. I don't expect to be treated that way either. I'll bet you have never been married. The divorce rate is sky rocket for the babyboomers...... If you don't think that lack of tradition has something to do with that just ask people your parents age who paid,and who did the courting......believe me If someone asks me out ,after we meet for a coffee or something , for a first date I expect to be treated. Dutch!!!! thats for the PALS, not prospective LOVERS. I'm not saying that with time and commitment to someone women should not contribute to the financial well-being of the relationship, certainly this is common place in many relationships. But the courtship , this is how woman knows a man is really interested in her.... P.S Macopin, you also don't expect to become romantic with your buds either...

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 458 (view)

Dinner Date - Who Pays? Posted: 8/16/2008 12:22:56 AM
jelnet, I will give you what I think is a direct answer. If you asked you pay! If you are a Gent you will not accept any money if offered especially if its the first dinner. I may be speaking for myself but a girl usually likes traditional courtships. If I treat a man,its usually a dinner at my place. If I have been dating him for awhile I will invite him out and pay. As for how much someone makes,you do have the choice as to where you go to dinner,choose what you can afford with out the expectation that your date will pitch in......I find that to be gauche. JMO

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 95 (view)

whats your biggest fear Posted: 7/29/2008 12:53:20 AM
My biggest fear is not having the relationship where I can fully be myself, and not have to settle. Second fear, someone settling for me! Not being themselves.

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 22 (view)

Women's Financial Status Posted: 7/29/2008 12:30:02 AM
Everyones financial status is different, even financially secure may mean something different to some. If I pay a mortgage mine may be twice as much as someone elses. Some people rent their whole lives. If your over 45-55 then financially secure hopefully includes some retirement preperation. Paying your own way for a trip may mean you can affort a bus ticket, not a cruse line sooooooooooooooo all I can say is if you can support yourself and stay out of financial debt, and being in a relationship with someone doesn't put you or them in financial debt,then all is good.

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 60 (view)

When does it change from dating to a relationship? Posted: 7/29/2008 12:10:32 AM
I've noticed that the guys are in favor of not discussing, and the ladies are more towards the discussing....There has to be some talk to be on the same page. If your dating you may be getting to know more then one person at the same time thus one could not assume you are exclusive untill someone brings it up. Frankly I don't have to date someone for very long to know if it's friend or boyfriend. However and I say again I would not make the mistake an assume I was in an exclusive relationship if no one asks or says anything.

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 44 (view)

Maryland M&G at Padonia Station,63 E Padonia rd, Timonium,MD 21093. on July 26,2008 Posted: 7/28/2008 11:51:40 PM
We had fun, Food was good, music was loud,dancing and talking over the music. There was a good group there plus a lot of other people there. Thanks Maria, give me a shout, lets do another soon....

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 228 (view)

Should men color the gray Posted: 7/19/2008 9:24:05 PM
NO!!!!!!!!!!!Men gray differently then women, it's subtle and more uniform then woman. Not to mention if not done professionally usually looks fake and worse then going natural. Besides they look just as sexy with the gray.

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 997 (view)

Long hair on older women Posted: 7/19/2008 9:14:16 PM
If it looks good ,wear it!!!!!! Long hair is great if you keep it in good shape,and you can wear it up or down. Once it's short you don't get as many options. However some people may look best with different styles, its a personal choice.

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 2 (view)

Maryland M&G at Padonia Station,63 E Padonia rd, Timonium,MD 21093. on July 26,2008 Posted: 7/17/2008 10:30:45 PM
Maria thanks for all your work on the get togethers. If you ever need help in the future please email me... Thanks again Nancy

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 1041 (view)

Calling all 40-60Something Males? Posted: 7/12/2008 11:26:57 PM
I have to agree with Motownman, If your a man and you want to bring more children into the world you have to have a partner who wants that also. I frankly would want someone who wants to have free time to travel, and do all the thing I had to put off raising my child. So in that case that one point would have a significant effect on the choice of partner, and age preference.

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 139 (view)

Traditional vs. Emergent Dating Etiquette and Beliefs. Posted: 7/9/2008 10:35:29 PM
Happy, I think that traditional is what seems to work in the long run for everyone. Genetics seems to play a part in the role that we play and the laws of attraction. Woman do want a man to stand up for her and protect her. Men want woman to be attractive and sexy and nurturing. I think men still like to be the pursuers, and not be chased , so the traditional roles with some exceptions. Mostly because men and woman do not think the same when it comes to relationships. We are all different, and the ages of the couples and their goals are also different so some of there roles in the relationship may be different. ie; if the kids are grown, does the woman still stay home and do what? What if one of the pair is better at a role traditionally done be the opposite sex? Personally I like the idea of being courted......and proper etiquette.

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 278 (view)

Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship? Posted: 7/1/2008 11:53:36 PM
Kimbo you really believe that c**p. The hots doesn't translate into LOVE. You can be in lust, attracted, chemistry, what ever you want to call it in the moment,but LOVE that comes from with in down in the soul of every human being. LOVE grows with intimacy of the mind. If two people are really interested in having a exclusive,commited monogomus relationship then sex will not only be worth waiting for but better when it is desired by both people on the same emotional page...

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

Ok, someone just said something really stupid to me in a messege today.... Posted: 7/1/2008 11:39:04 PM
Degostyle, I have a suggestion. If your in the process of talking to someone and you only want one at a time why don't you hide your profile so you wont look available and others wont waste their time and you won't get mail you have to respond to.

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 47 (view)

Lifelong bachelor, workaholic. Is it hopeless? Posted: 6/18/2008 7:41:49 AM
Red, I spent 5 years with a workaholic. It was sugested in one of the responces that you should go to work with him.......NO.... so your supposed to forfit your life now? It doesn't make a difference you now become an employee....... the only person who can change the behavior is the workaholic. If he wants you he will let you in but only after your not available, and just when he has time for you but not when you want to be with him......sooooooo think long and hard before you waste any more of your time with this guy......... We don't want BUMS either.....How about someone who can balance both life and a relationship. Thats why we should not sleep with him before we know if he,s the kind of guy we want something with, or just a good roll in the sack(sometimes we want that too)

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Lifelong bachelor, workaholic. Is it hopeless? Posted: 6/16/2008 11:15:02 PM
Red I think you are making excuses for this guy......you gave the goods before you really had anything going,and now you feel alittle bad about that. He's not really interested or he would make the time. Your to available and he knows it, he calls you to check up,but thats ego..... He has time, he has to eat, sleep, bath,pay his bills, work and by the sound of it laid..........is that all you want? Dissappear don't answer his calls,don't call him, don't be available. May be your last conversation should be to tell him you don't want him to call unless he is calling when he has time to take you out. You already know the answer to this, don't waste any more of you time....

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 166 (view)

If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here? Posted: 6/10/2008 9:08:12 PM
Bottom line if you think you found someone you want, and they want you the only way your going to really give the relationship a chance is to invest the time to that person not online with others. If your still here looking then thats a negative way to look at life and the relationship. How can something succeed if your expecting it to fail.

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 122 (view)

test drive before buying? Posted: 5/31/2008 12:08:47 AM
Ivy owl, Compatibility ( no offence but you spelled it several times combatiblity, also not spelled right but means something totally different) is achieved through the process of getting to know someone. The guys who use the line "test drive" is a jerk! If you date someone and find that you are compatible in your values and your goals and if the relationship is a comitted exclusive , monogamous one ,sex will be great because it will be with emotion. To your second question.......NO.....remember exclusive and monogamous.....

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 331 (view)

How can men stop having feelings so quickly? Posted: 5/28/2008 12:33:02 AM
Thank you Psyche Doc, Especially your point about how people know longer know how to date. I have noticed that people don't take the time to really court,to use an older expression. I also think that the OP may have reached one of thoes turning points in that relationships where someone made the decision that had to be made . Does this relationship move forward or does it end. Just a thought.

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 145 (view)

If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here? Posted: 5/27/2008 11:50:18 PM
Having friends before your involved and including them in your circle of friends thats normal. It's dangerous to add new people you meet on a dating site into an existing relationship. Couples should have some friends in common to do things with. Going out with so called friends from dating sites is dating. Doesn't sound like a committed relationship to me.

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 60 (view)

Do I really come across as a jerk? Posted: 5/26/2008 12:12:43 AM
My question to you Airmanpower is ; Do you really want an answer to your Question? If so, ditch the pictures that are not current, and rewrite your profile . Keep it to the point and light. Just give us the must haves when explaining who you are looking for. You already knew you came across that way from the begining. So you get what you get, disfunctional!!!!!!!

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 117 (view)

If you are in a relationship, is it still ok to meet people from here? Posted: 5/25/2008 11:37:55 PM
I agree with the majority,it is a big red flag,and I have had that happen with my last relationship. If you find someone you want to be with then why do you need to keep profiles on any dating site? You can trust but if their meeting others then you are just in the mean time,he or she is still looking.

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 41 (view)

How do you know if a relationship is going to work out in the beginning? Posted: 5/25/2008 11:07:33 PM
Sheila makes a very good point, no wonder you scare guys off. If you already know you do this why do you repeat the same mistakes. If you want to really have a long term relationship date the guy untill there is some sort of mental intimacy. Don't blame your problems on your past. Learn from it,and the mistakes you've made. Keep your panties on untill you have a monogomus,committed exclusive relationship.

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 34 (view)

The no kids issue Posted: 5/25/2008 8:18:40 PM
I am one of thoes woman who don't want to even get involved with anyone who has children under 18, and preferably not living at home. Why you ask? It's simple, when you are at an age where you want to do things you put off to raise your children you don't want to do it again. One other reason is differences in child rearing. It complicates the relationship. This may be selfish but it is imortant. My son was 4yrs old when I first became single. When it came to the point where a relationship got serious that is when I alowed the man I was with to get to know my son and be involved with our lives. How ever if the relationship doesn't lead to a permenant one this is just as tough explaining why we wouldnt be seeing the other person any more and their children. Now that my son is moving out and in college, that will not be an issue. He will still be my son and I will still always be there for him but he will have to learn to be his own man. My life is going to change also.

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 55 (view)

How much information do you need to accept a blind date? Posted: 5/22/2008 9:35:05 PM
jetlagbob, for starters you should post a picture,I would not meet someone unless I saw some sort of photo first. I would only meet in a public place and for coffee, if it turns into lunch then you know you at least like the person you have just met. I will meet someone right away after speaking on the phone once, I only give my cell #. If it works out you make another date if not you say good bye and don't wast any more time.

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 141 (view)

Men over 50 wanting children Posted: 5/22/2008 9:23:26 PM
I think older men still want to prove that they still can. How ever I don't think that the woman who's biological clock is ticking wants an older guy. Raising a child is a group effort, and a 18yr+ commitment. I can't have any more children and I do not want to raise anymore ,I want to enjoy the years to come and look forward to grandchildren. If a man in his 50's wants to spend his older years with the stress and all the work involved with raising a child at that age more power to him.

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 181 (view)

Why do some women stay in abusive relationships? Posted: 5/19/2008 10:43:20 PM
Sometimes the relationship starts out really well, then some form of control issue starts to come out from the abuser.....This may be for a variety of reasons that many of you already stated,and it could be from drug or alcohal abuse or bipolar disorder. The abused may stay because they think that they can help fix the problem but only the abuser can do that. If you love this person in the begining of the relationship ,the abused has a hard time seperating themselves,and may fear retribution from the abuser, you've heard of woman leaving an abuser and it turns violent. Even with peofessional help , I left an alcohalic husband years ago,it was a slow process because even though he was verbally and mentally abusive my gut feeling was he would get violent. I waited untill I knew when I droped the divorce bomb that my child and I would be safe first.......

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 305 (view)

wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway? Posted: 5/10/2008 11:54:52 PM
I can tell you why alot of people on line don't want to tell their real age initally because most men and some woman seem to want someone 10 to 20 years younger then them.....mostly men take alook at their age range. so woman who are in their age group don't even get looked at from the get go....Frankly in my opinion if your not looking to procreate, and are looking for someone for real to spend the rest of your life with then aslong as both your needs are met it doesn't matter in the age group we are concidering. This guy just wanted out and wasn't man enough to step up to if it was true love.

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 64 (view)

How soon is too soon for a second date? Posted: 5/10/2008 1:13:34 AM
Missy, If that man didn't make the second date towards the end of the first one he's not going to ! Don't call him ! If he's interested at all he will call or write to you. Don't hold your breath and continue to date others.......I still believe the only way you know for sure if a man is interested in you is when he pursues you....its genetics

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 123 (view)

What would you say is the number one reason a women would reject a guy for? Posted: 5/10/2008 1:01:52 AM
I would say the #1 reason I would reject a guy is if he 's initial behavior rubs me the wrong way. He could be great looking but if he's a jerk,well who wants that.

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 240 (view)

wat if she lied about age....... do you continue anyway? Posted: 5/9/2008 1:11:05 PM
Do you love this woman?????? Did your love have anything to do with her age?????? If it was the other way around no one would have a problem with this at all. I wouldn't assume that because she put an age that was in line with how she feels and probably looks is not the worst thing that you could have found out. I don't think lying about your age,like many people do, is any indication that they lie about anything else......I have had men lie about their age, after meeting them it was obvious...So now that you know the truth,while I believe she didn't tell you sooner out of fear,its up to you to decide if this is worth ending a relationship that you thought should be for life........or you would not have proposed

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

What is considered Physical abuse Posted: 5/9/2008 12:49:34 PM
Just like the BUM, you should have chosen ,"To leave an avoid the bad situation", Then when things cooled ......Never act out in anger.....even when provoked... Seems like you don't see eye to eye on how to deal with different situations. Maybe your relationship needs a rest.

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 68 (view)

Maryland Get together on May 2, 2008 at The Golden Sports Bar, in Ellicott City, M.D. Posted: 4/30/2008 12:01:08 AM
This will be my first event,I'm glad you made the effort.Thanks Nancy

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

When does it change from dating to a relationship? Posted: 4/17/2008 12:37:41 AM
I Would consider dating becomming a relationship when a man asks a woman to be in an exclusive,committed, manogomous relationship, and the woman agrees. At this point the two dating people are now exclusive and have intimacy. Living together may be the next step. you do not have to be living together for the dating to become a relationship.

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

How many hours are too many hours? Posted: 4/17/2008 12:23:00 AM
I think it depends on your time management and your ability to coordinate it with the s.o.'s schedual. To seek new friendships, and find the time to develop them into new relationships may take miniutes out of any given day, and you say you work 50 -55 hours a week. Well that leaves you with 113hrs left to sleep , eat , do your chores,seek new friends and spend time with them.

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

How do you deal with strong feelings for someone who does not feel the same? Posted: 4/17/2008 12:03:07 AM
Hes never been married!!! You've dated him before!!!! you have to ask!!!! You have answered all your questions yourself. DONT ask about the relationship....will push him away. Make sure you have a full life of your own. Don't be available everyminiute...You can have strong feelings for him but he has to make the first move in the relationship or it will not work. I would be dating others so your not so focused on him.

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 141 (view)

Is dating during separation cheating? Posted: 4/6/2008 6:16:30 PM
Slady52, Sorry your marriage is over....That being said your X cheated during your marriage thats grounds for divorce in many states, and in some cases shortens the seperation time, before divorce is final. I was married for 11 yr myself. I do not think dating is cheating if you are no longer cohabitating. In my state its not even concidered cheating ,even if your still married , if you do everything but intercourse...imagine that. Ask your lawyer, and if you don't have one get one now and file, your state will have DIFFERENT LAWS. Do move on, your doing the right thing. Chagal116

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 103 (view)

have i just got a man under stress or is he a psycho? Posted: 4/6/2008 5:58:24 PM
Galicat, I don't know what the laws are about realestate where you live but if you are a joint owner of property it can not be sold with out both parties signatures. You are not married so the rules are different . I would seek out a good lawyer who knows realestate law. If your name is on the deed, and you are on the mortgage you have a vested interest. Go to a settelment company to find out this information. You should get him out of the house or you leave if you feel in danger. This is way more important then the house. Plus this is a control issue...... becarefullChagal

chagal116

Joined: 11/8/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

He's in love for the first time and is 49. Posted: 4/6/2008 5:41:00 PM
Listen carefully.....RUN DONT WALK RUN TO THE NEAREST EXIT.....If you think for a miniute this man will talk to you about this, after you questioned his feelings already forget it!!!!!NEEDY NEEDY NEEDY...Ask you self right now is this what you want? Words are not reasuring actions are and if the action does not fit the words forget about it. He's to old to not have felt in love before and if your the first do you really want that heart break on your hands? Your only mistake will be to stay in this relationship...but its only my opinion You already know what you should do.

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