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ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 40 (view)

What do Atheist Holla Out During Sex? Posted: 11/21/2009 1:48:35 PM
Hey Dreamy Skies..... I think I know the line you forgot. It's from a joke. The Four Kinds of Orgasm: 1. The Positive Orgasm "Oh Yes, Oh Yes" 2. The Negative Orgasm "Oh No, Oh No" 3. The Religious Orgasm "Oh God, Oh God" and 4. The Fake Orgasm "Oh Joe, Oh,Joe" or "Oh Bill, Oh Bill" or whatever other guy happens to be in the crowd at the time that you care to make the butt of your joke. An ex perhaps????

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

the last- Best You Ever Had Posted: 9/2/2009 7:42:31 AM
This reminds me of an old college buddy from years and years ago who always said: "The best sex I ever had was the last sex that I ever had." Probably not grammatically correct, but he got his idea across.

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Favorite romantic movie scene Posted: 4/21/2009 7:12:05 AM
One of my favorites is Grace Kelly and Cary Grant in "To Catch A Thief". Most people comment about the fireworks make-out scene, but the best is when after just meeting at dinner, he walks her back to her hotel room and gentlemanly turns the key in the lock and opens the door for her. She walks in, turns around, wraps an arm around his neck and pulls him in for a smooch. Then leans back, looks him in the eye, turns around, walks in the room, closes the door and leaves Cary Grant standing there wondering what train just hit him. I think I probably would have kicked the door in about then, especially if Grace Kelly was involved.

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Is Analingus the new Cunnilingus? Posted: 4/11/2009 7:34:17 AM
OK...OP...just takin' notes. After he does you and you do him, what comes next? French kissing???? Just want to make sure I get it right. . . . . EWWWWWWW!!

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 84 (view)

Singles Decorating Posted: 4/10/2009 6:50:36 AM
hamango----A guy's workshop is not always "his" domain. Before I met my ex, I had hung a Rigid Tools calendar that a plumbing friend had given me in my basement workshop. For the gals--Rigid Tools manufactures large plumbing tools, such as pipe wrenches, etc and the models holding them are topless with the tools trying to cover the exposed body parts. My ex apparently needed a tool for one of her artsy projects and spied my calendar. She then drew eyeglasses, beards, goatees, black eyes, bras, etc on the models with an ink pen. When I asked her about it, her excuse was that the calendar was six years old. I don't remember if it was turned to the correct month. . . . .

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 78 (view)

Singles Decorating Posted: 4/9/2009 8:22:51 AM
I built my house when I was between marriages. When my second ex moved in, her mother and another lady visited one day. My soon to be mother-in-law told my ex: "Why don't you show Ginny your home." YOUR HOME?? We weren't even engaged yet. Well, it didn't take long that she started making it "your home". When she moved out, I realized that my house seemed a little depressing, until I realized that it was all the changes that she had made. So out went the fruit wallpaper in the kitchen, and the butt ugly teal carpet and furniture in the den, among other things. Whenever I was shopping for new decor, I referred to my process as "de-exing". Got a lot of laughs and comments that the salesperson was going to start using that term because they dealt with a lot of newly single guys. So only a few minor projects left. Guys that visit never notice, gals usually comment "Wow--who's your decorator?" It's not masculine or feminine--just my likes. I think that's what everyone should do when decorating--just do what you like. You're the one that lives there. Who cares what someone else thinks matches or doesn't match?? Just make it so when you get home you just kick back and say "Ahhhhh!"

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Favorite movies for Valentines day Posted: 2/14/2009 10:59:52 AM
I think the "oldies" did it best: Love Story (Ali McGraw-Ryan O'Neal) ---tear jerker Love With the Proper Stranger (Natalie Wood-Steve McQueen) To Catch A Thief (Grace Kelly-Cary Grant) Just to name a few. . . .

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 103 (view)

washing up BEFORE sex Posted: 1/16/2009 8:24:50 AM
Well...I shower every morning and many times again later in the day if I'm going out. But I don't ever remember a "sexual occasion" when I wanted her to take time to do anything except get her clothes off. As long as she had daily showers, that would be good enough for me. For all the guys that wanted their gal to shower first...assume a hot gal walked up to you in a bar, draped her arm around your neck, and whispered in your ear "Take me home with you". When you got there, you'd say "Hey, would you mind taking a shower first"??????? Give me a break. LMAO

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 74 (view)

Embarassing problem... Need opinions please Posted: 11/4/2008 7:46:47 AM
I think you should teach it to wolf whistle. Then you could always say "Sorry, lady....it wasn't me, it was my wienie whistle."

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 46 (view)

I shaved my mustache off Posted: 9/30/2008 10:19:20 AM
I grew a mustache when I was about 25 and in the Navy because I just got tired of getting carded every time I went to the clubs. Never got carded again and never shaved it off. Then about 8-9 years ago I got it really uneven while trimming it, and was trying to figure out how to salvage the trim job when I realized that the reason that I grew it in the first place was to look older. So I finished the trim job by shaving it off. For the heck of it, I decided to give $20 to the first person that noticed. In the next couple of days I ran into my ex-mother-in-law, neighbors, an old girl friend, friends, etc. I just inwardly smiled as I watched them staring at me. But no one figured it out. Then after church on Sunday, my daughter who was about 10 at the time yelled at me D-A-A-A-D, and I turned around because I recognized the voice. She was running at a pretty good pace and stopped dead in her tracks and said "You shaved your mustache". I thought about it a few seconds and thought what the heck and explained why I was handing her a 20 dollar bill. She was elated and after I thought about it, I was glad it wasn't my ex-mother-in-law. And I'll never have a mustache again! I'm convinced they make you look older.

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

Fathers in law who cross the line. Posted: 8/28/2008 10:37:54 AM
After reading the posts, I couldn't help but think about a reverse situation if it would have involved one of my ex-mother-in-laws. EW-W-W-W-W!!!!

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 77 (view)

Is reading someone's diary _ever_ justified? Posted: 8/28/2008 10:24:05 AM
I think CarolAnn nailed this one. Reading someone's private communications would ONLY be justified if you suspected your minor child of some sort of DESTRUCTIVE behavior, not just something that you didn't necessarily approve of. But if you're at the point that there is the least little doubt about your significant other, it's either time to "discuss the matter" or stop being exclusive, because there are probably other issues affecting one or both of you. Not all relationships last forever, and I think that when you become suspicious it's time to think of ending it. No trust--no relationship.

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 50 (view)

Photos with your Ex cropped out Posted: 8/20/2008 11:01:56 AM
I don't keep ex-wife pics unless the kids are in them!!!!!!!

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 58 (view)

Is intelligence a key characteristic for you? Posted: 8/20/2008 10:41:40 AM
Interesting that some people would not choose someone just because their beliefs were in direct opposition to your own. I rather enjoy that. Nothing like dropping a comment that you know is going to spur a debate. I love to do this with religion, politics, current events, the environment, and just about anything that I know my partner is passionate about. I don't enjoy "in your face debates", but have found that you can really get some food for thought by listening to other points of view. Haven't ever found anyone that changed my mind, and not interested in changing theirs, but a good natured discussion will really get you to thinking sometimes. And what better way to discover how intelligent your partner is than by seeing how well they can intellectually thrust and parry. And if you accidentally step a little too hard on their toes, well--you can always have some great make up sex to make it all better. Wait....should that be in another forum??

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 87 (view)

How impotant is oral sex the first time you sleep together? Posted: 7/29/2008 5:55:47 AM
"Well, if you're a senior, like me, then oral sex is the only option, because all the guys that you see on this site, aged sixty, or sometimes young, suffer from erectile dysfunction, so they are forced to please the ladies through this means. " ALL???? I think maybe you're in the wrong dating pool. Try dating older guys that don't smoke, use alcohol in moderation, workout a few times a week, and eat a healthy diet. Then hang on for the ride.!!!

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 378 (view)

Joplin, Ark, Ok, Mo, Ks Float Triip Posted: 7/10/2008 5:02:06 AM
I plan to float, but not camp. Will bring a canoe partner with me. Just need to know when and where we're going to meet Saturday morn.

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 99 (view)

Do Women enjoy men looking when they weare low cut tops? Posted: 6/28/2008 7:29:54 AM
( . ) ( . ) Nuthin like a scoop neck top! ( . ) ( . )

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

Blowjob....what should they call it? Posted: 5/31/2008 7:26:38 AM
Hummmmmmmmmmer!

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 63 (view)

Sexual issues in the older male population Posted: 5/30/2008 9:07:36 AM
Gee, no probs yet so I'm just looking forward to the 49 year old chicks when I'm 71.

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

The procedure 11 years after Posted: 5/30/2008 8:46:45 AM
Had my vasectomy about 9 years ago. Afterwards went home, took about a two hour nap in my recliner, felt great when I awoke, drove to work (self-employed), spent about 2-3 hours checking email and doing paperwork (no lifting for a couple of days). If I hadn't gone in for the post-op test to make sure there weren't any live swimmers, I'd have sworn that they just took my money and didn't even do the procedure. Have never had a problem, don't even know that I had the op. Think I just had a good doc and staff. Heard some horror stories a few months later and went back to talk to the nurse. She said that if they did the op and I came back in for the post op testing and it was negative, that I was definitely sterile. She said they never have any problems. She must have been right, cuz I've never had problem one.

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 68 (view)

The Way to Snag a Man... Posted: 5/2/2008 12:40:53 PM
Hmmmm.......wining and dining and gifts with no sex. Sounds like marriage to me!!

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 66 (view)

If a penis could speak... Posted: 4/24/2008 12:49:29 PM
"Hey, it's dark in here!"

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 95 (view)

I am woman, hear me fart. Posted: 4/9/2008 9:43:06 AM
I usually just look 'em in the eye and say: "Well, your voice has changed, but your breath's the same!!"

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 76 (view)

Bunny boilers --discuss Posted: 4/8/2008 8:06:49 PM
A few months after Fatal Attraction hit the screens, Men's Health Magazine ran a sidebar with the info that this type of woman's wardrobe will only have black, white, or black & white. It seems that this is part of the whole psychological disorder and the film director knew this and made sure that Glenn Close only wore black or white. I never did see the movie after I read this to see if Glenn only wore black and/or white, but for years now I always check to make sure that whoever I'm dating has some color in her wardrobe.

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 250 (view)

Favorite Shirts with Words Posted: 4/5/2008 11:49:02 AM
Have seen these before: "Not all dumbs are blond" "If you bite your fingernails, don't scratch your butt"

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

To wash or not to wash... sheets, that is... Posted: 3/30/2008 2:36:18 PM
Growing up, my mom always changed the sheets weekly, so that habit has carried over to my adult life. I usually change the sheets on Thursday, so they'll be fresh for the weekend. Never know when you'll wish you had clean sheets. Years ago, an old girlfriend taught me to never buy sheets with less than 300 thread count. Since I wanted her sleeping on them as often as possible then, I just figure that most ladies would prefer that now. So 300+ it is.

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

Question for the women!!?? Posted: 3/29/2008 12:40:32 PM
This reminds me of a college roommate who used to always say "The best sex I ever had, was the last sex I ever had". I also don't remember him being very selective. But it was the 60's.

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 508 (view)

Why do men have affairs? Posted: 3/11/2008 12:48:56 PM
OK--I didn't read 21 pages of posts, but I did watch the Fox News Channel during lunch and their continued coverage of the NY governor (the love gov) who was caught up in a prostitution ring. When questioned why men either have an affair or use hookers, the therapist said that one reason (not the only one) was that they were looking for approval or someone to stroke their ego, i.e. tell them they were appreciated, what a great job they were doing in their profession, that type of thing. If there's any basis to this premise, wonder how many affairs would be avoided if the women in their lives were just a little more attentive once in awhile. Probably works both ways.

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

an easy way to purge bad memories Posted: 3/11/2008 12:37:09 PM
I'd rather see someone invent a flash pen similar to the one in the Men in Black movies......just press the button and "poof" all memory of her is gone forever.

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

getting swept off your feet. What's up with that. Posted: 3/2/2008 12:30:00 PM
Personally, I consider this the WOW factor...when the first time that you see/meet someone, the one thing that keeps rolling through your mind is "WOW"! Unfortunately, the WOW factor is not always eternal. Sometimes it lasts for years, or months, or weeks, or days, or maybe only 10 minutes into a coffee date. Even to the point when they become an OW...like at divorce court. I've been divorced about 7-8 years now and I still consider my ex an OW. S0 as I get older, I'm a lot more reserved in considering a potential mate as a WOW from the get-go. What would be nice is to find that someone that you could tell everyday "You're still a WOW!" Still lookin lol

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 26 (view)

11:11 Posted: 2/8/2008 12:56:06 PM
Not sure how I got to this thread, but I see 1:11 and 11:11 all the time. If there's a digital clock on the wall, and a digital watch on my wrist, I'll inevitably look at the one that says 11:11. If I immediately look at the other timepiece, it will be off by one or two minutes. Why didn't I look at the other timepiece first??? The other day on a trip to the Kansas City, MO area (about 150 miles one-way), both up and back I wanted to check about how many miles were left and both times the mile marker on the side of the road read "111". Don't even remember looking for mile markers except for those two exact times. You can google 11:11 and get some theories about this. Off topic, wow.....OP you're a little young, but I've noticed that there are a LOT of extremely good looking Canadian women in their late 40's to mid 50's range. Gotta move North!!!

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

tv evangelists Posted: 2/8/2008 8:48:40 AM
I remember one of the networks investigated TV evangelists a few years ago. They had a commentary from a local pastor who did say that some did provide a good service but that much of your contribution goes toward the costs of the TV production itself. He said that a better use of your money would be to investigate your local churches to see what charities that they supported, i.e. the homeless, soup kitchens, battered women and children, etc. and find one that you felt empathy for and contribute to that church. That way your money supports your local community and you can check on the operations from time to time. Who knows what groups benefit, it any, from donating to TV evangelists?

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 155 (view)

awkward question about smallness Posted: 2/8/2008 8:16:12 AM
Chris, surely by now you know that there are "grow-ers" and "show-ers". The "show-ers" are the guys who walk around the locker rooms without towels. But in the end result, they will still all average about the same. The surgery procedures to lengthen penises is just designed to increase the flaccid size, so I guess you wouldn't need a towel in the locker room. This reminds me of the old quote "an inch more and I'd be a king, and an inch less, a queen".

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 154 (view)

awkward question about smallness Posted: 2/8/2008 8:00:43 AM
You beat me to the post, Coca. I was going to comment on that. I'm relatively new here, so can you actually change a thread title????????? How do you do that????

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 30 (view)

Age and Honesty Posted: 12/13/2007 10:04:20 AM
I would think that one danger in lying about your age would be to find someone you were really interested in, and then have to "fess up" and find that they just weren't into someone your age. I never bring up age, but when the subject comes up, I love it when they say "You're HOW old??" Lots of good looking 50+ women on this site (including OP). Just wish there were more in my backyard.

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 39 (view)

Christmas Past Posted: 12/13/2007 9:57:29 AM
When I was in early grade school, we lived on the south side of Chicago. I can still remember going shopping with my mother and looking at the decorated windows of Marshal Field's and the other stores. I could stand there forever, no matter how cold it was.

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 41 (view)

Did humans and dinosaurs once co-exist? Posted: 12/12/2007 2:48:54 PM
Both human and dinosaur footprints have been found on the same trail in Texas. But no explanation how that could have occurred except for the obvious...they were both walking the trail at the same time. http://www.bible.ca/tracks/tracks.htm

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 127 (view)

enough with the sex already! Posted: 12/12/2007 10:40:19 AM
Thanx lstar. Wouldn't have thought to look there.

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 125 (view)

enough with the sex already! Posted: 12/12/2007 9:39:41 AM
OK, I'm kinda new here. Can anyone tell me how to (or where to find the info) cut and paste a previous poster's comment in those little white boxes??? Thanx

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 124 (view)

enough with the sex already! Posted: 12/12/2007 9:37:27 AM
As I approach 45, I've been having sex for over 25 years. It isn't fun anymore, it isn't interesting, I can relate to this comment, but I'd have to change the age to 95....no wait, that's too early. Maybe 105 or 115.....

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 12 (view)

going back to your ex after a long time.. Posted: 12/8/2007 6:57:26 AM
I don't think that you can ever go back and find only the good times, because the bad times had to outweigh the good or else you'd still be together. As humans I think we all try to be positive and sometimes forget to consider the negatives. You need to try to remember the whole past relationship before making a decision. I have two ex-wives and would NEVER consider another relationship with either of them. Heck, I don't even like talking to them on a phone. But after my last marriage, I would consider a relationship with a couple of ex-girlfriends if they ever became available. Theirs are the traits that I'm looking for now. Sometimes you don't see the forest for the trees. I've learned that the things that you think you're looking for aren't always the things that you really want to find. Make sure you know what you're really willing to compromise before returning to an ex. And that they have those qualities that you've missed in your last relationships.

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 60 (view)

whos your dream man/woman Posted: 12/7/2007 9:18:10 AM
Teri Hatcher.....but suspect I'll have to settle for someone a little closer to home. Hey Very Frank---Olivia Newton John has a new Christmas CD out. I've been a fan since that last scene in Grease in the black outfit--HOT!!

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 36 (view)

Do you split up with your girl to keep from buying presents? Posted: 11/23/2007 2:40:03 PM
Well, I have put off getting into a relationship until after the gift giving season or birthday if I know when it is. I think Kay (msg 9) is right on this one. Buying presents for your SO can be a lot of fun, but a long time ago, I did intentionally not buy her a Christmas gift because I was trying to break up, and no matter what I did to her or how poorly I acted, she wouldn't let go. Not buying her a Christmas present did the trick. Whew!

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Why does a guy view your profile more then one, but no mail from them? Posted: 11/23/2007 2:20:44 PM
I've done this before. Sometimes I forget, sometimes I click on a photo after reading a post and not realize that I've looked at the profile before, and sometimes I just look to see if they've added new pics or info. And if she was closer to SW MO, I'd be checking Diana's profile all the time. :):)

ozarkguy

Joined: 11/15/2007

Msg: 84 (view)

What name do you call it? Posted: 11/20/2007 3:06:08 PM
My ex used to call mine "Ziggy"!

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