A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do? chat & forums.

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idodares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 135 (view)

A Very Ugly Situation - What Would YOU Do? Posted: 10/25/2009 4:49:34 PM
I really fail to see what this is even doing on the sex and dating forum. It's a matter for labour legislation. Really though, an employer is obligated to nip this in the butt before it gets too far. At the every least this kind of discussion shouldn't have been taking place in the workplace. If the boss overheard anyone else could have, this should be discouraged. All too often employers ignore issues until they end up in litigation over them. When all they had to do was talk to the employee in question and put out a firm policy for workplace behaviour.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

depressed post-sex Posted: 9/27/2009 3:09:59 AM
After reading your profile you clearly have some troubling events in your life. But, you also claim to be able to read people very well. I think maybe you don't read people very well at all and you might also be someone that seeks a lot of attention. (just and observation based on your profile) If all is as you say in your post, it's probably a case of mild depression. Talk to your doctor about it. You aren't going to get much here as we don't have enough of your history or personality to come to a complete conclusion about you. I don't see why you are seeking others who might experience this, unless you are looking to set up a support group or trying to determine if this is normal or not. Seems pretty useless information as if others have a similar issue it may have an entirely different cause.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

yes i did a search before posting... Posted: 9/26/2009 5:56:12 AM
Right, you got out of the relationship 6 weeks ago and since that time you have been with numerous partners and have determined there is a problem. You tell us you were deeply into her, but obviously not so deeply that you wasted any time getting back on that horse with several others.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

is it really that great Posted: 9/25/2009 6:19:19 PM
A post that shouldn't have survived the voting process. I feel for the guy after reading his posting history, but really, this isn't what you want to be asking here. It looks like you've never even been kissed let alone had oral sex by your posts. you're really jumping the gun here.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

How do I get (politely) out of a threesome Posted: 9/25/2009 5:57:35 PM
I don't even see why this needs discussing. You aren't interested, the first time he asked you said 'no'. The next time you ask you remind him you said 'no' the first time and meant it. If there is a third time then you should be dumping him and not looking for any polite way to say anything. No means No. I thought by now every woman knew this. Anything short of being firm with him about this is sending mixed signals. If he can't handle you being a firm 'no', he isn't going to be respecting any of your boundaries.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 38 (view)

is it wrong to have sex on the first date Posted: 9/24/2009 5:36:23 AM
That only applies if the man is upfront about his intentions and attitudes. I believe Closer's point is that a man that has this issue should be very clear that having sex with him is going to result in him dismissing her as a potential relationship. Isn't it equally incumbent on the female in this situation to be upfront about her intentions that the first date sex requires some form of commitment to a second date and possibly more? I fail to see that the requirement for full disclosure rests with the man and not with both parties. If there is no such disclosure from both parties then neither should be able to claim the other wasn't being responsible. Sex on a first date is almost always spontaneous, neither party has clearly defined parameters for the act, both should share the consequences.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 35 (view)

is it wrong to have sex on the first date Posted: 9/24/2009 4:32:11 AM
I say men should KNOW better than to have sex with a woman if he has no intention of even considering it REAL to them.They are more reprehensible than a woman who fvcks on the first date in my book You're saying men are somehow to be held to a higher standard for accountability by virtue of being men? I find this rather sexist. Both parties agreed to engage in sex on a first date, both equally share in the consequences of doing so.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

To cum or not to cum Posted: 9/24/2009 4:23:25 AM
Gotta disagree orion, you can urinate with an erection without serious forcing it. It's a matter of being able to control yourself, just as most people can do in relaxing their sphincter muscles to defecate or to allow penetration. I have no problem at all urinating with a morning erection and no need to force it.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 49 (view)

Biting/Slapping/Etc. Posted: 9/24/2009 4:12:35 AM
See the truth is, I have participated in most "kink" that's widely considered "acceptable"...and had no taste for it. So I have, in fact, experienced it...and I still don't get it. So I have had it. I have experienced it. And I still don't get the fascination... Hope you have another brilliant theory behind that flawed one... Yup sure do have other theories. However, this one was good enough as I said "probably because they never had it". Of course some have experienced it, and in your case you simply didn't enjoy it. Because you didn't enjoy it, you say you don't get it. I suggest you do get it, you just don't see how others can enjoy it because you didn't. If you tried mint chocolate icecream and didn't enjoy it. Would you say you don't get it why others might enjoy it? Everyone has different tastes and different experiences. your's obviously wasn't a positive experience, but that doesn't mean that all such experiences are negative. Just that your's wasn't positive. It shouldn't be hard to 'get' that some people have had positive experiences with these sexual practices and actually enjoyed them. If what you say about experiencing many forms of kink is true, no doubt there are people who don't enjoy some experiences you may have had. What's there to 'get' about that?

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 54 (view)

Why would a lady post a prego pic on a dating site? Posted: 9/24/2009 3:58:26 AM
Sure women have every right to try and date even if they are pregnant. But for some men obviously they see this as having their priorites wrong, that maybe while pregnant a woman should be thinking about the child they are about to bring into the world rather than feeding their own personal urges. Not saying one is right or wrong, just pointing out that it isn't a case of whether a woman is attractive when pregnant. For many men it's about the decision they are making at the point in their life. What bothers me a lot is how many people post pictures of themselves with their kids on a dating site. Seems to me they might be putting their kids at risk, kind of like a shopping mall for pedophiles. To a lesser extent people that all their pictures are of groups, do they ask the permission of the other people in those pictures if they want to be seen in this type of site? I would be rather ticked to find someone had posted pictures with me in it on their profile, without my permission.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 83 (view)

How can men sleep with women they have no interest in? Posted: 9/24/2009 3:49:09 AM
I guess I'm different then most men, I see a beautiful woman and my first thought is I want to (you know) like any male but It is all free will, I could be a male whore like all my friends or I could do what I believe is right! shit I could get laid everyday If I wanted to but I have morals, I get a guilty conscious and feel like a piece of shit if I use a woman for sex making her think I am interested in her when really I just her for my own selfish reasons, It wouldn’t bother me until the sec I busted then I begin to feel guilty. I guess it is because I know what it is like to be used. Yes of course, all men are scum. Except you of course. Are you sure you aren't just saying this to get someone in bed? You know, saying what you think they want to hear. Perhaps your denigrating other men is your way of attracting women into your bed. You could get laid every day if you wanted to you say? I have to take it then you know a lot of women who are either pretty stupid, or claiming that a lot of women don't have the capacity to say 'no' to you.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 53 (view)

Would you prefer to be free of sexual urges? Posted: 9/24/2009 3:38:53 AM
Would life not be simpler and less stressful if you were free of the urge to stimulate your genitalia? If you could be free of this urge, would you make that choice? Would life not be simpler and less stressful if you were free of the urge to look? Wouldn't blindness free up so much time for you, not having to look around you all the time. Or perhaps being deaf, not having to hear all those pesky noises around you. Perhaps getting rid of ones limbs, always getting in the way they are. Ah, the silly questions I could go on about. Need a serious answer to this question? Well duh, join a monastery and take a vow of chastity, learn to control your sexual impulses if for some reason they are getting in the way of your ability to enjoy life to its fullest. Somehow the phrase 'cutting off ones nose to spite his face' comes to mind here. Losing ones sexual urges does not free up time for anything, they can, in normal people, be controlled. They shouldn't be getting in the way of any other of life's pursuits, if for some reason they are, you are in need of therapy.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 83 (view)

Wife finds porn on computer and.... Posted: 9/23/2009 7:44:43 PM
No cheating here at all, nothing unfaithful happening, just perfectly healthy appreciation of the human form. It takes a pretty repressed or immature person not to see that this is actually fairly normal behaviour. Seeing pornographic pictures, reading romance novels, having a thing for a celebrity, or even stealing the occasional glance at a cute member of the opposite sex is a sign of a healthy person. So long as you aren't acting on those impulses, it's just a fantasy and there is nothing wrong with that. Frankly I would find a person that doesn't do one of the things I mentioned above as having some kind of odd neurosis. That or they are in complete denial. I certainly wouldn't be attracted to such a person.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 51 (view)

What would you think? Posted: 9/23/2009 7:32:51 PM
Whether the OP is BSing or not, it's a fantasy and if they are comfortable with it, then go for it.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 40 (view)

Biting/Slapping/Etc. Posted: 9/23/2009 5:06:44 PM
The fact is.......people have been engaging in "kinky" acts long before any of us were born.......and people have been talking about it for just as long..... the difference is who they are talking about it with. Our youth knows no boundaries.......they are proud of everything...right or wrong...Hell, just take a look at UTube as a prime example!! Pretty much it in a nutshell. Sexual activities like this were not uncommon in the past and more than a few 'older' people engaged in them. The difference is discretion from the older generations to the younger ones. If you were/are into this and from an 'older' generation, you simply talked about these things within the circle of friends that you did it with. You didn't discuss it with the world, it's a need to know basis. For those out there who say they don't get it. That's probably because you never had it, there's nothing to get if you never had the experience. It goes for any type of sexual activity, you aren't going to 'get it' if you never really experienced it. I had a couple of experiences that involved some of the things being mentioned here, took me completely by surprise and frankly they were the most incredible love making sessions I ever had. I am not into it and don't seek it, but I can't deny that it felt good. A lot of people who talk/joke about it, simply do so out of ignorance. They have no idea what it's really like, but think it's something you have to boast about with everyone. This is especially true of younger people and I include younger people as in when I was young and inexperienced too. Your imagination cannot replace experience, this is true for everything and not just sex. You can have all the photographs, charts, research papers, and second hand stories about a visit to the pyramids. But, that cannot replace actually being there and experiencing it first hand.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

What defines a fetish? Posted: 9/23/2009 4:02:35 PM
See, now I don't see the point in asking this at all. You know the dictionary definition, so what you basically just want is what people "think" it means, while admitting you know that people think it means almost anything. So what's the point of this thread?

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

is it wrong to have sex on the first date Posted: 9/23/2009 3:46:34 PM
You're 42 and asking if it's wrong to have sex on a first date? Wrong in what way? Religious or some other moral or ethical value system? that depends on the your criteria. Is it wrong for you? Only you knows the answer to that and you shouldn't be asking us. Is it wrong for us? Probably for some, absolutely for others, and not at all for the remainder. At your age you should have no problem deciding if it is wrong for you or not.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 34 (view)

What would you think? Posted: 9/23/2009 12:44:48 PM
Sorry honey, but your posting history tells us you are carrying around some heavy duty baggage, from your father to the men you hook up with. you can deny it all you want, but it's there for everyone to read. I can easily see you driving away a good man, you have major trust issues. No relationship can withstand a lack of trust and constant scrutiny from a partner. Nor can it withstand accusations of cheating for taking a glance at some porn or talking to a member of the opposite sex without permission.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

What would you think? Posted: 9/23/2009 1:00:53 AM
Well Mister Dimples, think you hit the nail on the head with honeyangel1985. Her posting history in the last week is just filled with what she hates and accusations of cheating abound. Now having read through the posts it's probably understandable why, but she needs to take her own advice of therapy (which she all too often gives out). She's got some deep seated issues with men.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 27 (view)

Do women really prefer rough sex? Posted: 9/21/2009 3:21:28 AM
A majority seem to like it hard and fast; not sure about rough though. That's how it should be really. I think a woman's sexual preferences say a lot about her personality, especially this one! Why do you say that is how it should be? What about a personality is said from someone's sexual preferences? Really, I know women whose personality is not at all reflected in their love making. And I certainly don't think there is a particular way that a person should be (what is normal).

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 43 (view)

Quantity or Quality? Posted: 9/21/2009 3:12:04 AM
Hypothetically I wouldn't live on this planet where things are so black and white. Silly question, silly answer.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Do women really prefer rough sex? Posted: 9/21/2009 3:01:54 AM
What is it with all the polling type questions in here. These things have obvious answers and the answer is "some like it rough, some do not". I don't see any point to asking such questions as they are clearly a matter of preference and there are going to be people who prefer one, the other, somewhere in between, or both. You aren't going to get your answer on whether most enjoy this or not because there's nothing scientific about the poll. The only point I can see in asking this question is to hope to get people to confess what they do or like, I suppose for one's own personal self gratification. Obviously any answers you get here aren't going to be transferable to the people yo date as they are going to have their own preferences.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 11 (view)

Shorter man Taller woman Posted: 9/20/2009 2:34:19 PM
Not even a consideration for me, no need for tips or tricks as what counts is how we both feel about each other. Of course I wouldn't even date a person who height was an issue with them so it would never come up.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

To many lovers yes or no Posted: 9/20/2009 2:29:12 PM
The subject of number of lovers has been done to death. There's no perfect number, no magic formula, no ideal amount. When you are old and grey the last thing on your mind is going to be how many lovers you had in your lifetime, you might spend some time considering the quality of your life instead. For some one was the perfect number, for others there will always be room for one more.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

Dancers Make Better Lovers Posted: 9/20/2009 2:24:51 PM
No correlation. A good lover isn't defined strictly by physical ability in fact one doesn't need to be in shape at all to be a great lover. Might as well argue that a bookworm would be the best lover as they know all the techniques and have studied up on all the relevant data, or that a pervert is the best lover because they have an endless desire and plenty of experience. I'm sure there are as many dancers that are duds as there are from any other segment of the population.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 71 (view)

Why do people cyber sex Posted: 9/19/2009 4:35:47 AM
My guess is Yaaajustme dug up this 4 year old thread just to stir the pot. Afterall no posts since 2005 then suddenly bring it up and stir folks up.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 23 (view)

Ban peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, they are evil. Posted: 9/18/2009 5:28:09 PM
Its like having a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with no jelly Has it occurred to you that maybe everyone doesn't like jelly and that not everyone would want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? You make it sound like the peanut butter and jelly sandwich is the norm and not liking it is abnormal in some way.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Why the nasty girl Posted: 9/15/2009 4:54:19 PM
"I have a friend..." Right, it's always a friend. :)

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 78 (view)

Men help me with Fellatio?? tips??? Posted: 9/15/2009 11:49:24 AM
Men help me with Fellatio?? tips? Pointy end goes in.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 48 (view)

Losing one's virginity, some say it's easy Posted: 9/14/2009 6:09:47 PM
I'm a bit of an introvert The fact that you described yourself as an introvert pretty much said it all. You need to get over that, if they don't know you are seeking they aren't going to be offering.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 24 (view)

In Search of Dudes' Opinions Posted: 9/14/2009 6:02:54 PM
I wouldn't be interested to hear anything that she has experienced sexually. I would be interested to hear what she might enjoy trying sexually. Couldn't care less about the details of her past experiences, they aren't going to be ours.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 493 (view)

What is a real man? Posted: 9/13/2009 3:25:06 PM
Real men can't walk through walls.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 40 (view)

Where exactly IS Sex and Dating? Posted: 9/11/2009 4:28:12 PM
Actually I'm an IT professional as well. If it were the coding, it would be happening to everyone not just a few people and it has only been a few people. It's more likely software adons that some people are running like popup and adware blockers that are not compatible with the code or settings they have set for their browser. When it has happened to me it was always a login issue for the forums, only once did it not work and I refreshed the page it came back up.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 25 (view)

Has anyone ever made their own dildo from a molding kit? Posted: 9/11/2009 4:20:53 PM
Can't see any reason to do so, for all the time and effort you might as well just buy an off the rack dildo. Being the same shape isn't going to be any comparison to the real thing. It's still going to be a lifeless dildo, it isn't going to change consistency, it isn't going to warm up, it isn't going to have any of the same sensations or attributes as the one you copied.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 169 (view)

If she has the condoms is that a good thing? Posted: 9/11/2009 11:44:17 AM
If she has the condoms is that a good thing? As long as they aren't recycled.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

Where exactly IS Sex and Dating? Posted: 9/11/2009 11:30:38 AM
It's not a bug in the code, it's some people's computers are caching the page. So even though you are logging in again it is dumping you to the cached version.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 40 (view)

do we get hit on just because ... Posted: 9/11/2009 2:45:22 AM
Well when this thread started there was a delete request put up for Trolling Based on Polarised on Gender Lines. But it died when less than 7 out of 10 agreed. We get the threads we deserve due to this system.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 50 (view)

His sister is carrying his child.... (not incest) Posted: 9/10/2009 10:59:04 AM
You don't get updates on stories like this because you don't read the National Enquirer. That or the originator still hasn't come up with an ending for the tale. Do you folks believe every story that starts with "a friend of mine"?

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

do we get hit on just because ... Posted: 9/10/2009 10:50:20 AM
After 40 years, one would think you would know.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Need Help Re: Gay male question Posted: 9/10/2009 4:01:08 AM
How much do I get paid if I help you with your play?

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Where exactly IS Sex and Dating? Posted: 9/10/2009 3:46:08 AM
Actually this should be in one of the administrative threads and it's answered there if you take the time to look. The reason it happens is you are sometimes logged out of the forums. When logged out the adult forums do not show in the list. Look at the top of your screen next time you don't see this section, you will see that it says LOGIN, in other words you are not logged into the forums section. POF and the Forums are separate logins. You can be logged out of one while logged into the other.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

Pansexuals and dating Posted: 9/9/2009 7:22:38 PM
This is sounding like a personal gripe about someone you were in contact with on POF and he's decided he has said enough. Why are you posting expecting him to come forward here? This is not the way to do it. Move on, he's not into you.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 13 (view)

Pansexuals and dating Posted: 9/9/2009 5:57:44 PM
You couldn't be more wrong, even if you did make a few good points (yes, no matter our attraction, it does really come down to the person, but some people (Hetros, Bi's, Gays) want that person with a good personality to have certain parts/be a certain gender. I disagree, for a bisexual it isn't about the body parts. As I pointed out the human race has only two genders, a bisexual is attracted to both. You can't create fictitious genders to support an argument, we know there are only two. So having said that, for a bisexual as with any other type, they don't necessarily consider the body as the main attraction. Are you saying that a blind bisexual is automatically a pan sexual? No matter how many times I read it, I don't see what the differentiating points are supposed to be. As a pan sexual are you saying you can be attracted to anyone no matter what? That you have zero preferences? That there is no criteria at all? If so there are other terms far more accurate. On to other issues in this post. I don't get the whole 'must accept me for being me' idea. If a man approaches me in a bar and asks me if I am interested in getting together with me and he tells me he's homosexual. I say sorry not interested, not into that lifestyle. Would you think he should get upset because I rejected him on that basis? If I were homosexual and a woman approached me and I turned her down, should she be upset? It makes no sense to be upset because someone doesn't have the same preferences or lack of preferences you do. I imagine you reject people too for various reasons, or I would hope so.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Pansexuals and dating Posted: 9/9/2009 4:49:18 PM
Okay folks, I'll dive in on this one. I think the problem here isn't about understanding at all, it's about a new term to describe something that already exists in our terminology. We have two genders, male a female. We have hetrosexuals, homosexuals, and bisexuals. Hetrosexuals have an attraction to people of the opposite sex, homosexuals have attractions to the same sex, and bisexuals have an attraction to either (or one can argue neither). In all of these cases the attraction is still to the person, for example a hetrosexual male is attracted to females, but not all females the particular person still matters. A bisexual can be attracted to either, but that isn't the same as saying to anyone, it still comes down to the person or something about the person. So having said that there's really no distinction for someone saying they are a pansexual as opposed to a bisexual. The attraction is the same, except that the pansexual claims that what the person looks like doesn't matter. Well that is true of the bisexual as well, they may be attracted to physical attributes but may not be, it could be something else. The key is what gender or both, that a person is attracted to. In all three cases there are a wide range of attributes they happen to be attracted to, physical or not. So I think the term pansexual is probably just a group of people that have decided they don't like any of the options, probably due to some preconceived notions about the groups. Now go ahead and hate me, but I see it as a really unnecessary classification. More a fad than a real class.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 31 (view)

Oral Whores Posted: 9/9/2009 3:29:07 PM
Maybe it's time to update the profile picture. Yup, when I saw this thread this morning my first impression was it's a man, then I clicked on the profile, surprise! Speaking of pics POF deleted mine this morning claiming it didn't have a clear picture of my face. Amazing, seemed pretty clear to me. I think the cuddly, psychopathic guy that was in the forums last night went on a reporting rampage. :) Hopefully this new one is clear enough for them, it's really the same one just zoomed.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 457 (view)

What is your favorite type of sex? Posted: 9/9/2009 7:58:41 AM
What is your favorite type of sex? With a female.

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 92 (view)

Health Benefits of Semen Swallowing Posted: 9/9/2009 5:25:03 AM
I heard that swallowing can prevent swine flu in women. Now I need to conduct a study to validate this. :)

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 104 (view)

Casual blowjobs Posted: 9/8/2009 7:21:30 PM
^^^^ and if you follow his posts entertaining in a strange psychotic way. Edit: And as you can see below trollish. Not going to play though. :)

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 18 (view)

what makes women feel insecure about themselves? Posted: 9/8/2009 6:48:17 PM
As expected, a troll, good luck with that. :)

IdoDares1

Joined: 11/19/2007

Msg: 17 (view)

what makes women feel insecure about themselves? Posted: 9/8/2009 6:41:13 PM
People who are insecure, like baddboy above, spend a night bumping dozens of posts to get attention.

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