Why do men do this? Why do women do that? chat & forums.

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Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

Why do men do this? Why do women do that? Posted: 5/7/2009 4:37:44 PM
Men do "this" because we act on impulse....good idea @ the time. Wimmin do "that" purely to make us (men) go "WTF????". Cold & calculated mental abuse. ....or sumpin'.

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 20 (view)

Bathroom Woes Posted: 5/7/2009 4:31:24 PM
Feasible....capable....qualified...materials...blah blah blah.... Lets hear more 'bout this "demo party" concept

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 25 (view)

How to identify a quality man Posted: 5/2/2008 8:55:25 AM
The true sign of a good man is one that hits the freaking bowl EVERY time I hit the bowl EVERY time...... ....& the seat, & the lid, & the tank, & the floor...sometimes the wall....... Do I win?

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 44 (view)

POF Experiences as Movie Titles Posted: 4/24/2008 3:33:41 AM
Wow.....y'all only get bad trips here nowadays or what? Obviously nobody seems to 'member the "Classic" big-assed bashes that set standards fer debauchering province wide.... Kiss the Girls - New Years Eve...yeah...that party Strange Days - Sef explainatory The Sixth Sense - Being a sense of complete inebreation The Usual Suspects - Starring the Candy Bandit, Mounter, Tim, Seymour Butts, & mebbe a cameo by me Training Day - Bo Diddley's in Edmonton the night before the original King's Head bash in Cowgary The Morning After - Sef Explainatory Dawn of the Dead - OK....the whole freakin' Living Dead series Daredevil - The horror movie selection 300 - Yes, we've had bashes that big. (OK.....I mighta been seein' a bit double, but still...) I Know What You Did Last Summer - I just wish I could 'member WTF I did The Seance - If we only had a Ouija board, I swear we coulda raised that poor truck April Fool's Day - 'Cuz it was, & we were The Devil's Rejects - Too much blood in our alcohol systems....woulda caused a fire hazzard if we was let into hell. Just a few offa the top of me head

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 195 (view)

Songs that remind u of great sex Posted: 3/19/2008 3:09:43 AM
By popular demand, more music to make jiggy-jig to by Frank Zappa: Broken Hearts Are For ***holes Don't You Ever Wash That Thing? Carolina Hard-core Extasy Ms Pinky Easy Meat Pick Me I'm Clean Harder Than Your Husband And by popular oversight, I bring you Music for romantical occasions by the one, the only Motor City Madman; Wang Dang Sweet Poontang Cat Scratch Fever Spit It Out Come & Get It I Love You So I Told You A Lie Come & Get It Hard As Nails Wango Tango & just because: You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet - BTO Turn It Loud - Headpins Get My Rocks Off - Dr Hook Morning Wood - Rodney Carrington Orgasmatron - Motorhead Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep - (not entirely sure) Wish I Was You - Hayseed Dixie

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 16 (view)

Red Deer: POF over-the-top on December 1st! Posted: 10/10/2007 12:20:50 PM
No sex in the booths??? WTF? S'pose yr gonna tell us next "No sceances"....or "No playin' darts in the hotel rooms"....or "No candy banditin'"....or "No whippin' out yr winkie, DD"... OK, so that last one I could agree to........

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

I need proof.... Posted: 7/20/2007 4:34:55 PM
^^^Dead man walking^^^ She tried to warn ya, Jay......

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 1 (view)

I need proof.... Posted: 7/20/2007 7:18:25 AM
Time to rant a bit.....on the term "Cute" Webster's Dictionary sez; Main Entry: 1cute Pronunciation: \'kyüt\ Function: adjective Inflected Form(s): cut·er; cut·est Etymology: short for acute Date: circa 1731 1: blah blah blah... 2: attractive or pretty especially in a childish, youthful, or delicate way 3: blah blah blah OK...there's a coupla definitions, but the one in question applies to appearance. In this case, as opposed to ugly. Now, for an easy example, I'm sure we've all heard the phrase (too many times) "Oh, what a cute baby". Honestly??? Often times...no. It ent cute. Is bald, wrinkled, toothless, smells funny, & is leakin' from both ends. Why do I never hear as many "Oh, how cute" comments fer the elderly??? Or one that the Ladies are infamous fer ('cuz Men never use the term "cute" outside of a hot chick reference if they can avoid it), "What a cute dress". WTF??? It's mauve w/ teal fugkin' pokeydots!!! A blind fugkin' tinker wouldn' be caught wearin' that shit! (Disclaimer; No, I don' know WTF mauve is, it just sounded bad enough fer the example.......& th'only reason I know what teal is is because of hockey) My point is; "Cute" is one of those words that gets WAY too much use fer so many wrong/ inappropriate reasons. And I'm sorry to say....generally by Wimmins. (I repeat...'bout th'only time you'll hear any sef-respectin' guy honestly-ish use the term is as a polite means of sayin' "She's fugkin' HOT!!!") Now, after all I've said 'bout Men not usin' the word, I'll admit that I'm secure enough in my masculininity to admit that I have on file (& even on several online profiles) more than a few pictures of "Cuteness". And believe it or no, I ent referrin' to my "She's fugkin' HOT" pics. I'm talkin' 'bout KITTENS. Kittens are cute. Period. OK...mebbe not period. Kittens are the EPITOME OF CUTENESS. PERIOD! So why do ppls (Wimmins) insist on usin' the phrase "Awwww....what a cute kitten"? Like there's any other kind??? GET REAL!!! I dare.....no, I DOUBLE DOG-BREATH DARE anyone to give me proof that such a ting as a "ugly kitten" exists. And I don' mean cats....even I'll admit to havin' seen a ugly cat or two in my time. And before ya try sayin' "What about Mexican Hairless breeds"....'member; Beauty is in the eye of the Beer Holder. Yes....Kittens are cute. Quit statin' the flagrantly obvious. Now if you'll excuse me, I gonna go play w/ my cat. (He still good lookin', but "Cute" just don' apply anymore. Terrorists ent cute.) Tank You, & go hug a kitten M

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

If you were a Superhero? Posted: 7/19/2007 2:38:01 AM
Party goin' on too long? In-laws won' leave? Freeloader growin' roots in yr couch? 37 year old children won' leave home 'cuz is too much like effort to get a job, cook their own meals, & do their own laundry? Termites? Look no further than... .....fanfare, please..... Da, dad da DAAAAAAA!!!!! ....thank you.... BROMODROSIS MAN!!! Able to clear small rooms in seconds with the removal of a single shoe, large rooms by removing both, or (in extreme cases) to KILL ON CONTACT with the power of his Rancid Sock (TM/ patent pending), Bromodrosis Man is THE super hero of the new millineum. ....or sumpin'

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 24 (view)

proud Canadians Posted: 7/17/2007 3:16:51 AM
OK....MEBBE we can't claim hockey, but the Governor General of Canada created THE STANLEY CUP!!!!! & Canada also invented that other oh-so fabulous pair of cups...... THE WONDERBRA!!!! & (to go along w/ hockey) the Instant Replay & the Robertson Screw & the Canoe & Back Bacon & best of all.... ME!!!

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

What is it you miss?? At Stampede! Posted: 7/16/2007 1:32:50 PM
I miss bein' a kid at K-Days & not havin' to pay fer anythin'.

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 18 (view)

Gender benefits Posted: 7/16/2007 1:29:58 PM
Pros; We can be ready fer a date/ outing/ event in 5 minnitts flat Don' gotta worry 'bout what wine goes w/ what: Beer suits any meal In an emergency during a long drive, we can pee out the window (if we ent the driver) or in a bottle A weekend's luggage weighs less than 5 pounds & fits in one bag One pair of shoes goes w/ any outfit Same w/ underwear Our "best friends" don' cost $850 000 an ounce Shavin' any part of ourselves is an option, not a expectation Can enter public washrooms alone Don' hafta hide Xmas presents fer 11 months/ wonder where they were hidden when Xmas comes Recipes? We don' need no stinkin' recipes! Cons; Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.................................... Pickin' up our "best friend's" poo?

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 2 (view)

a question of privacy for my kiddo Posted: 7/16/2007 1:36:52 AM
I know nothing, but it seems to me that a logical place to start would be to ask yr divorce lawyer

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

fake construction price hikes Posted: 7/16/2007 1:17:49 AM
I tink someone either be pullin' yr chain or got they figures wrong, Matt. $7/sheet fer drywall I can see, but $9/stud???? A) I ent never heard of framin' bein done piecework, & 2) a stud is (typically) a 8' 2x4 held in w/ 4 nails, placed every 16" in a wall, each of which takes 'bout a 1/4 of a minute to insert w/ a air nailer ........I could make more in 5 minutes at that rate than I do in a 10 hr shift at my current not-too-sucky wage. BTW; Red Seal is a national journeyman certification

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

I like funk...but for a $1000? Posted: 7/3/2007 5:49:30 AM
I don' care who it is.....I pay a grand, I wanna be sittin' on the ****in' stage. W/ free beer. & I get to choose the set list.

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

infamous tv commercials Posted: 7/3/2007 5:45:17 AM
Domino's (?) Noid commercials Molson's unemployed NHL goalie commercials Ratzenberger doin' the voiceover fer a pigeon leadin' 'is squad on a bombin' run (advertisin' some Pontiac or other, I tink) The Blockbuster guinea pig & rabbit & I consider it kinda ironic that I 'member a tampoon commercial years ago where a daughter is tellin' her Mom "They're sure more comfortable than cardboard".....then a coupla days ago I sees a 'nother tampoon ad sayin' "New improved w/ cardboard" or some such. WTF, eh???

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 8 (view)

meet up (blind date for every age 18 -- 99) Posted: 7/2/2007 1:40:34 PM
Sure........F.U, K LOL

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 39 (view)

Would anyone tell a clerk that they had made a mistake in your favor? Posted: 7/2/2007 7:17:42 AM
60 bucks fer a shirt???? Get in line, girls......silly **er's got money to burn. On YOU if ya can teach 'im how to shop smart (& we know ya can do that, right?) Ummmm.....I mean.......... Get in line, girls......silly **er's got money to burn.

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

meet up (blind date for every age 18 -- 99) Posted: 7/2/2007 4:33:35 AM
*fanfare* "Oh look....here comes that long-haired freaky ppl to save the day..." F.U. BB No tanx neccesary, always happy to oblige the F.U. deprived in need. Anyone else in need of a a F.U?

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 26 (view)

Wrong song lyrics... Posted: 7/2/2007 4:16:23 AM
Bah!!! Sometimes I prefer the wrong lyrics......some tunes jus be too well known, way overplayeded, or just too easy to ** wit. Lemme cite a few examples: Dirty deeds, DONE WITH SHEEP..... *hole son, you're a bum. Ya trashed the car again..... Na na nanna na, na,na na, nanna na, na na nanna na, na, MY SCA-ROTUM I've seen bushy ones, pushy ones, up against yr mushy ones, Slave ones, save ones, floatin' in yr gravy ones, Pretty ones, dirty ones, fluffin' up yr birdy ones, Neat ones, sweet ones, on a toilet seat ones, Heffer ones, whipper ones, catch 'em on yr zipper ones, Throw 'em ones, show 'em ones, flowin ones, glowin' ones, I've seen pubic hair

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 11 (view)

Getting a roommate. Posted: 6/28/2007 5:01:01 AM
Just take a jaunt down to the pound & pick one out. They'll more'n likely charge ya to have 'em spayed/ neutered (I tink is mandatory), but w/ the increasin' numbers of homeless ppls wanderin' the streets, this really ent a bad idea. Ya wouldn' want to bring ONE roomie into yr home, & then accidentally let 'em get out when they be in heat & all of a sudden find yrsef w/ a full fledged flphouse on yr hands. Tends to smell the place up purdy bad-like. ...or so I've heard... ...or sumpin'

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 15 (view)

Best and worst movies this year Posted: 6/28/2007 4:47:36 AM
Hands down, no contest...the BEST movie of the year is (drumroll please...) RATATOUILLE!!! It must be.......the commercial sez so

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 39 (view)

Time to do a little Reunion Roadtrip - to Calgary we go! Posted: 6/26/2007 2:35:53 AM
"Have" to??? Well....no. GOING to....?????? Ummmmm..........I'ma STFU now

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 37 (view)

Time to do a little Reunion Roadtrip - to Calgary we go! Posted: 6/25/2007 2:32:41 PM
Are we going to throw poo?

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 24 (view)

What tv character would make your ideal spouse? Posted: 6/25/2007 2:26:59 PM
Edith Bunker Oh shit.........now I gots a woody. Gotta go

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

It's A Boy!!! And Boy Oh Boy Does He Poop! Posted: 5/4/2007 9:52:11 PM
AWRIGHT!!!! fer Bron fer El-Jeh & a fer the lil' one Waitaminnitt........ummm......lil' one might be a lil' too lil' fer that. Guess I'll hafta drink it fer 'im. Welcome to the World, Lil' Guy!

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 3 (view)

Tell you later Posted: 4/29/2007 6:08:22 AM
I'll tell ya when I get one????

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 27 (view)

Guitar Hero 2 Posted: 4/28/2007 10:23:54 PM
"What's next???? NEW GAMES FOR 2008!!!!" Carpenter (fer Wii - with genuine imitation hammer swinging action) Sunday School (fer Nuntendo) Lost Love (fer Ex Box) Dishwasher Deluxe (fer PlateStation) Anyway...... Despite spendin' a large part of my childhood glued to my ColecoVision, I now am a firm believer that console games ROT THE BRAIN!!!! Added to the PROVEN FACT that Rock & Roll ROTS THE BRAIN, I can see NO GOOD WHATSOEVER coming from this ATROCITY of a "game" (BTW; Is "Rock & Roll Is A Viscious Game" on the setlist in this game? Wouldn' that be irony, eh?)

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 49 (view)

Songs that mess you up... Posted: 4/24/2007 6:43:49 PM
Anythin' sung by Julie Andrews or Judy Garland Closely followed by "It Ain't Easy Being Green" by Kermit The Frog

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 6 (view)

friday 27th anyone up for the jet in edm? Posted: 4/24/2007 6:37:59 PM
Yeah.....what Rod said ....or sumpin'

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 200 (view)

What is your #1 movie quote? Posted: 3/15/2007 10:35:59 PM
"If you have any poo, now is the time to throw it" Monkey in Madagascar

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 134 (view)

CALGARY - BIRTHDAY BASH! THE BIG 20,28, 30, 37 AND 38!!! MARCH 3rd Posted: 2/23/2007 11:07:31 AM
I *might* go iff'n someone can convince Rock to drag her sorry ass out to play. Mebbe If she asks nice

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 118 (view)

CALGARY - BIRTHDAY BASH! THE BIG 30!!! MARCH 3rd Posted: 2/21/2007 11:27:35 PM
Fuzzy???? Yr lucky I can't read, or you'd be in SOOOOOOOO much deepshit, Missy.....

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 101 (view)

CALGARY - BIRTHDAY BASH! THE BIG 20, 28, 30, 37, 38!!! MARCH 3rd Posted: 2/20/2007 6:44:23 PM
What do I win iff'n I admits is my B'day too?

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 134 (view)

friday feb.16, calgarians coming in early,lets go to urban lounge Posted: 2/15/2007 10:18:26 PM
Huh?

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 31 (view)

Dogs & Cats and names Posted: 1/2/2007 6:11:48 PM
Hmmmm......my last 5 cats Conotey; Named by a 7YO girl tryin' to say coyotey (which he apparently looked like to her). AKA Shithead or Numbnuts Dawg; (dunno who was more confuzed, him or my roomie). AKA Shithead or Numbnuts Bill; Hey...he was orange & I'm neither fat nor named Freddie. AKA Shithead or Numbnuts Larry; Looked like Sylvester. Neighbor had a Sylvester. & a Tux. Simple process of elimination....1st name I could tink of associated w/ a tuxedo was Bond. So I named 'im Larry. AKA Shithead or Numbnuts Jim; My current cat. Short fer Reverend Jim. No...not Jones. AKA Shithead or Numbnuts

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 12 (view)

No shirt no shoes no service ? Posted: 12/2/2006 3:44:48 PM
Ever notice that the "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service" signs never mention pants? (How do ya spell "sighns", anyway?)

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 7 (view)

Beano shortage?!? Posted: 12/2/2006 3:32:59 PM
Like fartin's a bad ting???? WTF???

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 221 (view)

Worst Pet Peeve Posted: 12/2/2006 3:26:28 PM
*puff puff pass* Huh?

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 219 (view)

Worst Pet Peeve Posted: 12/2/2006 3:20:47 PM
Radio stations playin' cover tunes to death. I swear theres a whole frickin' generation that tinks Metallica wrote Turn The Page & Whiskey In The Jar

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 21 (view)

Changing people Posted: 10/25/2006 6:29:30 PM
Changing ppl = bad. Hadta change a baby once.....that was scary enough. Grown ppl...? Nuh-uh......ent goin' there.

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 9 (view)

The Craziest Halloween costume Posted: 10/25/2006 6:12:13 PM
Best I ever seen was at the school Ha'ween party at RDC many many moons ago. Picture if you will.......a 15' tall (lit) streetlamp from the corner of Sesame & Elm. Same party...dude comes dressed up as a romantic dinner fer 2. Thought that one was tres origianelle (dinner table, place settin's, candles). 'Til I saw a chick there w/ the same idea....then it was just oogy. Talk 'round the school fer the next week was that oddly enough (?)....they hooked up. Personal best hadta be Eddie from the Killers album cover. Scared the Jeebus outta a few ppls

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 10 (view)

Songs that remind u of great sex Posted: 9/21/2006 9:54:05 PM
There's so many....where do I begin? How 'bout w/ a bit of Zappa? -Jazz Discharge Party Hats -Dinah Moe Humm -Why Does It Hurt when I Pee? -Dirty Love -I Have Been In You & many many more...... Or a bit of Alice, perhaps? -I Love The Dead -Cold Ethyl -Wish You Were Here -Scarlet & Sheba Etc etc..... ...or sumpin'

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 17 (view)

The Bear's Really Tough Contest Posted: 9/9/2006 10:48:39 AM
So are they gonna do the flipside & give me a chance? I was ineligible 'cuz A) I'm in trades, & 2) I know enough to spread the lifts out w/ a forklift before packin' sheets across the field Sumpin' like sittin' on me ass answerin' fones & (gasp!) bein' polite to ppls all day? Edit; OK, so the forklift part din' disqualify me......just hadta rub it in. LOL

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 18 (view)

Recognition Posted: 9/9/2006 12:37:45 AM
Huh??? WTF ya writin' 'bout me testis????

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 21 (view)

who is it??? Posted: 9/9/2006 12:15:01 AM
W/ or w/o tongue?

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 15 (view)

Recognition Posted: 9/9/2006 12:12:16 AM
Now, now Matt....don' to be lettin' yr latent homosectional tendencies be causin' ya to inflict yr affliction on others jus 'cuz I wouldn' sleep w/ ya. Not to mention the REAL reason yr callin' me a 'mo.....the babes are uncredibly in lust w/ yers truly & not yrself. Havin' said that....WTF was the question again..?

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 37 (view)

Life is a movie. What is yours? Posted: 8/22/2006 6:54:31 PM
Easy............ Jackass; The Movie

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 66 (view)

What are you reading or the last thing you read? Posted: 8/21/2006 6:26:03 PM
I've read everthin' I own at least twice, so now I'm goin' through my roommate's collection...currently readin' Wizard's First Rule by Terry Goodkind. Read it before, too, but is a damnably fine series

Free Bass

Joined: 5/31/2005

Msg: 19 (view)

Re-name the movie title.... Posted: 8/19/2006 1:24:40 AM
Not really simpler, but WAY more accurate.... The Passion of Christ / The Thorough Shit-Kickin' of Christ Or how 'bout...... Steel Magnolias / Crap La Cage a Folles / Le Crappe Pretty Woman / Uber Crap The Bridges of Madison County / Why Clint, Why?

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