One rigid person after another what is up with that? chat & forums.

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dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 6 (view)

One rigid person after another what is up with that? Posted: 3/4/2008 7:21:00 PM
OP, thanks for the clarification.....I see what you mean.....well, yes, apparently you ARE too flexible for THESE guys....seems like you hit a rough streak at the least.......and it may be that they like you because you have the traits (easy-going and fun) that they lack in themselves

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

One rigid person after another what is up with that? Posted: 3/4/2008 7:13:50 PM
Well, I personaly don't know why people are stiff Do ya KNOW anything about biology?? I couldn't resist. To the OP, yes, we need to know what you mean by "rigid"?......their opinions? habits? interests?

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

Do you consider first meet the same as first date Posted: 3/4/2008 10:46:08 AM
Why are people so afraid of the word "date" nowadays? Why does "meet" sound so much better? See below Unbelievably, I have had a few blind introductory meeting arrangements with women (from mutual acquaintenances or internet correspondence) in whom I had no or even negative interest or who even repulsed me, who were afterwards referring to our encounter as a date. I shudder when I recall them. That's why. People don't like to "shudder"

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

Do you consider first meet the same as first date Posted: 3/3/2008 9:33:31 PM
Would you really kiss a stranger the first time you see him or her? An ugly stranger-no An attractive stranger-most definitely !!

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 19 (view)

Revealing last names Posted: 3/3/2008 9:19:57 PM
Guys & Girls, do you think it's okay for a woman to ask for the man's personal info, for safety reasons, without giving up hers? I feel strongly that it is and that guys should be understanding about this Oh, goodie, another "safety" thread No, it is not OK for a woman to ask for the man's info and not provide hers. No, guys should not be understanding about this.Understanding is a 2 way street. Perhaps I need to post the following info on all "safety" threads that I see- Last year at a health and safety fair near my home, I spoke with a representative from "America's Most Wanted" (the show that helps catch bad guys). He verified that all of the following are TRUE statements: More people-men, women, and children-are killed by someone they know than by a complete stranger More married people are killed by their spouses than by a complete stranger More women are raped by someone they know than by a complete stranger More children are molested by someone they know than by a complete stranger More children are kidnapped by someone they know than by a complete stranger Yes, safety is important, but this "obsession" with strangers and safety flies in the face of most reality. If anyone doesn't feel safe doing a particular activity, be it Internet dating or skydiving, then just don't do it. Making it an ordeal for everyone concerned is not productive.

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Do you consider first meet the same as first date Posted: 3/3/2008 8:46:20 PM
Technically, it is both... Which is why I use the hybrid term "first meet/first date" to refer to the get-together... Even if you only sit down for a cup of coffee for 30 min., that's a "date" I suppose if you just drive up, get out of your cars, and say hello, how are you, OK, we can go out next time, and leave, THAT would be a "meet." If you start talking to someone in line, in real life, for a few minutes somewhere, feel a connection, and exchange #'s for a "date", then THAT was a "meet."..... Time planned together in advance is basically a "date", romantic or platonic.

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 109 (view)

Safety on a First Meet. Posted: 3/2/2008 5:58:13 PM
Typo in message 108 portrys ....should be portrays

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 108 (view)

Safety on a First Meet. Posted: 3/2/2008 5:55:00 PM
Its nothing personal against the guy-its the reality of todays world. When people use the statements like "the reality of today's world" or "these days", I have to wonder what the basis is for those statements. I suspect it starts in childhood, when their parents tell their kids not to talk to strangers, that strangers are "bad" people. Parents mean well. They are just trying to protect their kids, as they should. The problem with that advice is...it's insufficient. Because the "reality of today's world" is that more children are molested by someone they know (examples-a relative, teacher, coach, camp counselor, clergyperson) than by a complete stranger. I verified this fact with a representative from "America's Most Wanted" (that show that helps catch bad guys), last year at a health and safety fair. I also verified the following statements as TRUE: More people-men, women, and children-are killed by someone they know than by a complete stranger More married people are killed by their spouse than by a complete stranger More women are raped by someone they know than by a complete stranger More children are kidnapped by someone they know than by a complete stranger I am not advocating that anyone be reckless or stupid, but I am advocating that people use the all the facts, plus common sense and logic to make their determinations, and not just their "comfortable thinking" that portrys all strangers (to them) as "bad" people. If meeting "strangers" is uncomfortable, they would best be served by not doing it at all

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 29 (view)

single men in their 30s living alone with a dog Posted: 3/1/2008 4:03:41 PM
Some people are just idiots I'll second that emotion OP, don't give those women a second thought Isn't a dog supposed to be "man's best friend?" Now this story did remind me of a comedy movie made by Disney several years back called "The Kid", starring Bruce Willis as a 40 year old jerk who encounters himself as a 10 year old kid.The kid learns that Bruce Willis' character is who is he going to be at 40. After learning details about his life at 40, the kid says...."Let me get this straight. I'm 40, ...I'm not married...I don't have any kids....and I don't own a dog??!!!....I'm a LOSER!!!!

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 28 (view)

How far are new dates willing to go to protect themselves, in terms of background checks? Posted: 2/29/2008 11:54:03 AM
To the OP Kudos to you regarding the incident you described...your reaction was completely understandable and appropriate I suspect your motivation for starting this thread is the concurrent thread "Safety on a First Meet" also running in this forum. Regarding your original question- "How far are new dates willing to go?"-... obviously some people are willing to go to extreme measures to "protect" themselves. I suspect some might have even run a background check before meeting Mother Teresa (was she really a kindly old nun, or was that just a front?) I just think people need relax and not worry about all the fear the media has perpetuated in our lives. Not everyone is a psycho or a stalker. Not every guy is a rapist This is true, but it's not just the media.The seeds of these attitudes began in childhood, when parents tell their kids not to talk to strangers, that strangers are "bad" people. They mean well. They are just trying to protect their kids, and kudos to them for that. However, that notion fails to address the fact that more children are molested by someone they know (ex.-relative, teacher, coach, camp counselor, clergyperson) than by a complete stranger. I verified the truth of this fact with a representative from "America's Most Wanted" , last year at a health and safety fair. He also verified that the following are TRUE: More people are killed by someone they know than by a complete stranger More married people are killed by their spouses than by a complete stranger More women are raped by someone they know than by a complete stranger More children are kidnapped by someone they know (custody battles) than by a complete stranger So yes, common sense is the order of the day.......safety is important, but it's also important to know the reality of things

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 314 (view)

Why do men stare at womens boobs & think we don't notice ??? Posted: 2/28/2008 6:59:39 PM
Last line of original post... TITS DON'T TALK BACK A guy can always hope.......

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 81 (view)

Safety on a First Meet. Posted: 2/28/2008 3:48:47 PM
to wwonderwoman: I would have a problem with you doing that. Just the same as women needing to be careful men need to be careful too. I wouldn't give you my license to have my address......... GUYS protect yourself to, there are women in jail for a reason. Yeah, like "identity theft".

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 77 (view)

Safety on a First Meet. Posted: 2/28/2008 1:20:00 PM
Typo correction in message 76...."feel", not fee

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 76 (view)

Safety on a First Meet. Posted: 2/28/2008 1:17:14 PM
As to the incident related by the OP, I think the the decision to terminate the meet at either the first location, or the side of the road, was the correct one. It doesn't sound like either party was happy with the other starting from the first location. Since I don't know the guy, I can't say for sure what his ultimate intentions were, but the OP did not say any red flags appeared during the emails, IM's, and phone calls. As to the general subject of "safety on a first meet", this is a whole can of worms. While of course I fee that everyone's safety is important, I also personally feel that anyone who feels so uncertain and unsafe about meeting someone off the Internet that they have to resort to the extremes listed in messages 54 and 64, should not be meeting anyone else off the Internet AT ALL. What's the point? Why put yourself and anyone else through all that? Wouldn't it be better to just stick with all of the other, safer methods of meeting people?

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 82 (view)

Ordering food Posted: 2/27/2008 7:10:09 PM
Apparently the OP didn't order a "Happy Meal"

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

Guy goes out with woman from online dating site and she shoots him Posted: 2/27/2008 7:03:26 PM
how many times do people get shot while NOT meeting someone from online ????? EXACTLY ! Despite the sensational news stories, the cold hard truth (whether you want to believe it or not), is that more people (men, women, and children) are shot, killed, raped, molested, and kidnapped by someone they know, than by a complete stranger. I verified this truth with a representative from "America's Most Wanted", at a health and safety fair last year. With regards to the story, I have never heard it either, and while I believe that just about anything is possible (Have you ever read "News of the Weird"?), without more details, I would be inclined to believe this particular story is made up.

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

30% of women have sex on first dates? Posted: 2/26/2008 6:05:41 PM
I don't know whether it is true or not.......but if it is , could I get some names and phone #'s please

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 485 (view)

If someone emails you with misspelled words and bad grammar, do you respond? Posted: 2/25/2008 8:53:32 PM
Truth told YES it is a turn-off to me when someone sends a message that appears with misspelled words and bad grammer I want a man I can communicate with that at the very least has high school grammer skills Is that how they spell "grammar" in McKinney? OP, it depends......a couple of words here and there, no big deal.....a constant demonstration of lack of basic spelling and grammar skills would be a whole other matter.

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 102 (view)

Good Kisser? Says Who? Posted: 2/25/2008 8:21:48 PM
Good kisser: 1) Opens mouth.....WIDE And all your ex's call you the "big-mouth bass" :) Not even close True story.......couple of years ago I met a woman on a dating site......we chatted, I sent her my pic....she was talking with a woman co-worker, showed the other woman my pic....the other woman said..."that looks like a guy I went out with years ago" (she was right, it was me, about 3 dates ,10 years prior).......the co-worker said..."I don't remember a whole lot about him, BUT he sure was a great kisser!" Great kisses stick in your memory

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 10 (view)

Is Monogamy Really Incompatible with Biology? Posted: 2/23/2008 12:39:04 PM
Message 9 typo correction..."conscious" behavioral choice

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Is Monogamy Really Incompatible with Biology? Posted: 2/23/2008 12:35:02 PM
With regard to humans, no....monogamy is not incompatible with biology. They are 2 separate issues. Monogamy is a concious behavioral choice, not a biological trait like red hair or blue eyes. Physical attraction is biology. Traditional marriage vows have usually included the phrase "forsaking all others", meaning "I choose to be with you and no one else".......note that is doesn't say anything about being attracted to all or any others. There are likely to be temptations along the way. It is up to the individual to CHOOSE to honor their promise and resist the temptation, or to give into it because it "just feels so good."

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Why it’s OK to settle for Mr. Good Enough Posted: 2/23/2008 12:03:50 PM
The problem with a question like this, and similar ones, is how to define terms like "settling" and "good enough." There is no universal definition.Regardless of age. And most people, men and women, have a personal definition that is as much clouded by their own experiences as by a detached, objective view. Most reasonable people would agree that it is better to be alone than in an abusive or unhealthy relationship. OK, that's a given. But in regards to those "unrealistic laundry lists", let's say you have a list of 100 requirements and/or preferences, and you meet someone who has 99 of them, and the only one they don't have is your preferred eye color or hair color, are you really "settling" if you go for them? If you are indeed 35, or 40, or 50, and 99 out of 100 is the best you have ever found, isn't THAT good enough? Or should you keep spending year after year looking for 100 out of 100?

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 385 (view)

Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type. Posted: 2/22/2008 5:52:45 PM
It all depends on how you define "settling" and "your type" and "not your type".... Is "your type" someone who is a mirror image of you? Is "your type" someone who always agrees with you and does things YOUR way? Is "not your type" someone who is the complete opposite of you? Or is "not your type" someone who doesn't have ALL of your requirements and /or preferences? Is it "settling" if you have a laundry list of 100 requirements and/or preferences, and you meet someone who has 99 of them, and the only one they don't have is your preferred eye color? Obviously, it is better to be alone than in an abusive or unhealthy relationship, but how far can you reasonably take it regarding "your type"?

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 40 (view)

Wanting HIS nipples sucked?? Posted: 2/21/2008 9:18:52 PM
Yes, please ........just be careful with your teeth.......they're very sensitive I'm 100% straight

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 75 (view)

WHAT EVER HAPPENED.... TO THE GOOD OLE DAYS? Posted: 2/21/2008 1:20:17 PM
"Time keeps on slippin, slippin, slippin Into the future Time keeps on slippin, slippin, slippin Into the future" From the song "Fly Like an Eagle", Steve Miller Band, 1976 That's what happened to them

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 83 (view)

Where can I meet a guy other than the internet? Posted: 2/21/2008 11:26:35 AM
Ok, I have the answer Are you ready? Men's public restrooms.....I see a lot of guys going in and out of those places.....so if you hang out near the door....... Seriously, though.......there are men, and women, EVERYWHERE I am always amazed that sociologists so often refer to humans as "social creatures", and yet we have to rely on artificial places, such as "bars" ("take another shot of liquid courage"-The Eagles)), and artificial events, such as "singles dances", to "provide" us with a place to "meet" someone. Humans were meeting each other for 10, 000 years before the Internet came along. So......open your eyes....take a look around, wherever you happen to be.....and if you see someone who interests you, say hello

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

What foundations do you think are important ?? Posted: 2/19/2008 1:27:57 PM
The 2 most important cornerstones of a foundation for a"relationship to thrive", before anything else, are these: 1) The desire to have a relationship 2) The ability to have a relationship You have to have both cornerstones, or anything built on top is a house of cards. It seems pretty simple, but so many times one or the other is missing, and that's why the relationship fails. How many posts have we seen...why do guys do this, why do women do that, why are people like this, etc........even though they SEEMED to be so compatible in so many ways. Simple,.... because if you have all the compatibility in the world with someone, but no real desire to have a real relationship with them, it won't work. Or, if you lack the proper social skills and abilities (for example-too selfish), to conduct the relationship, it won't work. That's my opinion, anyway

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 9 (view)

Age difference issues/ playing hard to get Posted: 2/18/2008 2:34:02 PM
Since I don't you or the guy, I can't say for sure what the problem was...... It may or may not have had anything to do with the age difference, but my own opinion is that an age difference alone is rarely the problem What I do know for sure is that "playing hard to get" is just another one of the "games" that everyone says they hate so much, so don't fall into that trap Being real, and sincere, and honest about your feelings are hallmarks of maturity

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 785 (view)

Why men don't date strong women... Posted: 2/18/2008 1:06:19 PM
Because it's embarassing for a man to get beaten by a woman in an arm wrestling match

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

Why can't men just be upfront? Posted: 2/18/2008 12:17:38 PM
SOME men can, SOME men can't.....SOME women can, SOME women can't Honestly, though, I am little bit confused by some of the info in the original post.... These men that you and your friends are meeting who aren't saying "hey I had fun, but I don't really feel any connection, etc.".....how do you know they aren't feeling any connection if they aren't saying so?.......and does it have to be a 100% connection or 0%?....can it not be something in between?......

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 16 (view)

Dating a man when soon-to-be-ex (2-15-08) wants to attempt reconcilation .... Posted: 2/15/2008 4:12:09 PM
I'm a guy.......and my advice would be to follow the logic and run Why would anyone want to put themselves into the middle of a situation like this? This is one of the major reasons to NOT get involved with someone who is "legally separated" (still married). There is often the chance of a possible reconciliation, and then who's left holding the bag? Read again what was said about the STB-EX..."(who has had a boyfriend for over 6 months)had decided that she wants to try to reconcile with him" I'm always curious about the motivations of people who are "legally separated" and on a dating site. Are they just checking to see what's out there, and if they don't find anyone better, they'll go back with the separated spouse?

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 244 (view)

do caucasion people find east indian people attractive Posted: 2/15/2008 3:35:32 PM
Yes ........also West Indian, North Indian, and South Indian.......

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 209 (view)

Would you go out with someone in the 45 plus group that has never been married? Posted: 2/15/2008 3:08:59 PM
Yes, I would........especially since I am in that category myself

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 56 (view)

Is it wrong to like men who are older? Posted: 2/13/2008 9:20:09 PM
No, it's not wrong.........despite what those random strangers are saying Since you are of legal age, you are free to like and date whoever you want. Age has nothing to do with a persons value as a human being, or as a partner (assuming both are over 18). Everyone is an individual, and should be viewed on their individual merits, not generalized by their age number.

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 14 (view)

Good Kisser? Says Who? Posted: 2/13/2008 12:33:37 PM
Says ME And 99.9 % of the women I have ever kissed Good kisser: 1) Opens mouth.....WIDE 2) Uses tongue liberally 3) Uses lips and teeth liberally 4) Has a complete repertoire of all styles (slow, fast, soft, hard, wet, dry, erotic, playful) and uses them alternately and smoothly-seemingly without effort Bad kisser: 1) Doesn't open mouth wide 2) Doesn't use tongue liberally 3) Doesn't know how to use teeth properly 4) Is stuck on one rigid style with no creativity While it is true that different people will have different styles, the best kissers will have the most COMPLETE style, and know how to use it

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 7 (view)

Dating and Marriage, and Death Posted: 2/5/2008 1:21:40 PM
This could be particularly appropriate if one of the intended already has "one foot in the grave."

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 116 (view)

IS AGE REALLY A FACTOR? Posted: 2/5/2008 1:06:45 PM
Sadly, yes, age is , all too often, a factor. But it shouldn't be. It only is a factor if anyone lets it be. As anyone can see from a lot of the replies above, there are many instances where relationships with large age gaps were still happy and successful. Yet most people will still cling to preconceived notions that they have to find someone close in age to have a happy and successful relationship. From what I have read, statistics show that in the US, most people marry someone within 5 years of their age, and yet, the divorce statistics prove that marrying within 5 years is not a gurantee of success, so therefore, that should not be a primary factor in the decision. Age is what it is. We are all individuals. We are not absolute representatives of our particular age group. Yes, we may, and some of us do (not me, though ), fit the stereotype of our age group, but we may not. But the other person won't know if they treat everyone as just that number that they are, and fail to get to know the individual.

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 32 (view)

Do you look for originality when viewing someones profile? Posted: 2/4/2008 12:15:22 PM
"and my teleporting thingy is still not working..." That's because there is a severe shortage of dylithium crystals (or so Scotty told me) Back on topic......yes, I also look for something original and humorous in a profile.....if you are seriously boring, why would anyone want to spend time with you?; and if you can't say something original about yourself, how is anyone supposed to separate you from the thousands of others on here?

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 137 (view)

Is Height an issue to Men? Posted: 1/29/2008 12:04:44 PM
For me personally, it is not an issue....... I am 5' 8", and I have dated women from 4' 10" to 5' 11" However, in our "society", the man has traditionally been taller than the woman, and a substantial number of men, and an even more substantial number of women ( going by the # of women who mention height requirements in their profiles) still cling to this outdated thinking, and , although this outdated thinking is slowly changing, if you were to observe all the couples at a large gathering of people, I think you would still see that the majority of the time, the man will be taller than the woman. (Just as a side observation, I have noticed at singles gatherings sometimes, tall women over 6 feet tall wearing flat shoes and exhibiting a slighty hunched body posture, signaling , to me in my thinking, that they are not altogether comfortable with their height)

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 78 (view)

are some people not MEANT to be in relationships? Posted: 1/23/2008 8:38:55 PM
Yes Charles Manson, for one

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 4 (view)

Lie on my profile? Posted: 1/23/2008 2:51:35 PM
Put down "Roommates" in the "Living Situation" section, then explain the situation in more detail either in the text section, or individually on a case by case basis with those who contact you You haven't lied by putting down "Alone", but since YOU are making the house payments, you aren't really "Living with Parents" in the usual sense of the term (where you are living OFF OF your parents)

dessertguy

Joined: 11/30/2007

Msg: 78 (view)

ok, here's the question........ Posted: 1/23/2008 1:43:41 PM
$42.63 for a kid's meal at KFC? Does KFC stand for Kentucky Fried CAVIAR??? I have a coupon here for a $2.99 Kid's Laptop Meal

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