I'll give you my quick theory on this, speaking from a male perspective and what I've seen and why this happens. Guys do this because alot of women will dismiss as you "just a friend" or put in in the "friend zone" if you don't show interest like that right away. Which then leads to this problem of doing it when it isn't appropriate or wanted.

Alot of people are well not very perceptive especially guys, and even more so the ones you're describe who can't even pay attention. So they're just playing by the things they've learned or been told by female friends.

So they're basically going by this manual that generally works instead of reading the situation. More than anything a man fears the friend zone, I speak from experience on this so when they aren't quick enough to pick up on things they just play by this general rule to avoid it.

I think what you are really asking is how can a woman that looks to outsiders like she has everything going for her end up with someone that abuses her?

well im a beginner, so maybe a relationship would be the best way to improve, haha.
ironically tho i dont want a relationship, i just want a kissing buddy.

At this point in my life, I feel so starved of physical intimacy that yes, I would contemplate being with anyone who wanted to be with me. I also will date anyone who wants to date me.

What ISN'T wrong with sex on the first date, even if there is a connection or whatever, I see it as an easy out, if ya wanna not see her again, bam, you've already had sex, got yours, and can go, while she hurts because she thought you loved her

Chicks don't put out on the first date, because if it was that easy to get it there would be more guys who didn't call back. Most girls have nothing else of worth to offer, so they have to hold the sex over a guys head to get him to stick around. That's all there is to it.

Some men, like BODYGUARD, or Tom Lankis and his "students", will always be searching for a new conquest...I wont even go into why that is...another thread...

OK i have been that women an dwhen a guy acts like that, i honestly think if he realy is snobby, he may be gay....i know it may seem a big assumption but, i had an ex and he would act snobby to me, the "uhuhs" and all the "i'm listening but don't care" expressions....i thought "wow he doesn't like me and thinks i'm stupid" but he would want to see me I then thought "oh he just likes being mean....he must be gay!" i even had a talk with him, about how if he was attracted to men and not women he should be honest with himself. I noticed that one person commented on here that is what women want and it attracts us, on the contrary, my first thought is ..he's gay or he's a snob. I think the only women who like men like that are the mean and bitter ones because they are normally mean and bitter to men because they are always rejected..themsleves, so when a guy is a creep first they think they are smarter than them. On the contrary, a nice a strong female the kind who will always be loving and never bitter does after all just feel sorry for you.

Dude, the one constant on all that you have said and they have not responded is you. And quite frankly there are a couple of issues NOT working for you. Let's start with the materialistic stuff. If all you have to offer, or to show is the boats, the money, how much this that and the other cost all you are going to attract is women who are gold diggers. Nothing more. Second, if you are buying the women drinks, dinners and all that. Again, you will attract a particular type of women that will take you for all that, then tell you that she wants to go slow in a relationship, only to meet Tony at the hotel and fvck his brains out. And by the way, Tony doesn't make much, will not buy her drinks or dinner, but doesn't put up with her crap.

So who would you rather be? Tony who gets women to sleep with him. Or the guy with the big boat that women use. Hmmm. Now, you can change all that. But first you have to come to terms that doing what you are doing has not worked, and guess what, it ain't going to work in the future either.

No. But then it's not like they're reality-testing scientific types, or into questioning and re-thinking their many presumptions. If they were, they might inquire as to what some of those other explanations might be. But they don't. Part of it is that they don't view men as being fully human, so they really don't care to get to know a guy and learn the truth.

larwilliams2, msg 554:

Well, you could be less of a ignorant, man-hating **** for starters LOL. It's plainly obvious why you are still single.

Seconded.

I've been told by some (mostly single moms) that men who reach their mid thirties and and don't have kids and/or have never been married are by definition, commitment-phobes.

They are uncaring, unfeeling . men that have nothing better to do then use woman just for sex and they will die alone. and they are pigs

Sexy and Smart,What else could you ask 4

I think but please correct me if I am wrong that the other respondents of this thread have been influenced by Oprah and Jerry Springer too much, and not enough by Jesus. I find everything absolutely acceptable if it is done with love and without hurting anyone. The split-up the OP described is such a happy event. Why call her a whore and the guys delusional? I believe, and it is my opinion only, that the three people whose lives we're discussing are well-adjusted, non-incriminating, live-and-let-live types of people. They've got what it takes to be happy, and they fully deserve their happiness.

Why call her a whore and the guys delusional?

(And ditto for those who have chimed in on the thread to agree that yes, people are boring. Look in the mirror first when you're looking for boring people!)

Can anyone tell me why drinks in bars are so expensive here? Prices in the liquor stores are roughly the same here and in PEI but drinks in bars here are wayyyy more expensive. A beer or mixed drink there is about $3.30 and a cooler about $4.25. Are prices the same everywhere here or is it just the one bar I've been to that has high prices?
Linda

If you are just beginning to date then really what business is it of anyones until you believe that your ready to go to the next level. It is hard enough for people to come out of the closet then to be labeled. whether your straight or not. Sorry but even the names to the women such as "BAR WHORES" is offensive society places labels on people and these stigmas follow and can certainly cause damage. Now if this relationship was taking on a sexual nature and the two of you decided that you wanted to try to have a relationship then the sex questions at that point should be asked and be honest about it... I can see why people don't open their mouths up due to the judgmental attitudes of some ppl in this town. Not that I am saying anyone here is that way in this chat but I have seen it myself if anyone is different then look out... just my two cents

What difference does it make to your post breakup life?

So you are "thinking about dumping her ass" over THAT? You sound WAY too immature to be in a relationship if you talk/think like that. Early 20's=TOO YOUNG TO BE IN A ONE ON ONE RELATIONSHIP. You should be bangin around not settling down. Sillyness!

Who do you think you are kidding? You have met some one else who rattles your chain. You are one of those "grass is always greener characters" and you want someone on here to validate your behavior. Dump her! I am sure she will find someone better!!

Can insecure girls change or should I just dump her ass. She's been a great girlfriend up until this point. She has most of the same interests as me, she looks good, and she isn't a whore, I just wish she wasn't so damn insecure. So should I forgive her, or am I better off dumping her. I'm willing to listen to some opinions of the older and wiser. I'm only in my early 20s so I'm pretty stupid.

I, for one, would be happy to see them off the roads. I don't have any stats to back me up, but I would venture to guess that the percentage of traffic accidents would go down with less big vehicules on the road.

Asking me to go home with her on the first date
Wanting to move to fast

American women getting used to being placed " on a pedestal" by American men, thinking that they must have " entitlements".

He did get together with her. Read more carefully.

I had a budding relationship going that took off VERY fast. We would spend hours over coffee just talking and having a great time and then talk for hours on the phone