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Thread: What's really stopping you from having a successful relationship?

Joined: 12/4/2007

Msg: 147 (view)

What's really stopping you from having a successful relationship? Posted: 6/4/2008 9:51:41 PM
My husband. It's the darnedest thing...every time I try to develop a successful relationship, he's right there in my way.

Joined: 12/4/2007

Msg: 239 (view)

why are some woman afraid of admitting that they like sex? Posted: 4/19/2008 10:28:15 AM
OP, it's because then the MEN act like we're HO'S. Ho Ho.

Joined: 12/4/2007

Msg: 31 (view)

Ladies, how do you let your partner know you're in the mood? Posted: 3/13/2008 6:24:45 PM
Walk up to him ( and I mean, body-contact up to him), give him a sultry look straight in the eye, place my hands gently on either side of his head, kiss him long and deep, draw back, and start to undress him. If he can't get the message by then, I need another guy... Failing that, an evening or afternoon of specifically targeted flirtatious banter usually does the trick...

Joined: 12/4/2007

Msg: 15 (view)

Marriage...can we, as humans, be committed? Posted: 3/10/2008 6:46:05 PM
I think the relationship between rooommates who share a pad and split the rent is a BUSINESS CONTRACT. I think the transaction a man has when he shtoops a hooker is a BUSINESS CONTRACT. When two people walk down the aisle, say their vows in front of God (or not) and everybody, that is a COMMITMENT, emotional, psychological, social, and spiritual (not religious) to dedicate themselves to one another in a SHARED LIFE IN ALL RESPECTS. If you really believe that it is a BUSINESS CONTRACT, I feel sorry for the woman you eventually decide to establish this CONTRACT with.

Joined: 12/4/2007

Msg: 20 (view)

A lack of respect Posted: 12/26/2007 10:38:03 AM
OP and all, I guess I don't think there's an issue with posting an entry regarding one's experience, but a person CAN be respectful while doing so. "How?" you might ask... Well, it's about basic communication -- the poster using "I" statements, and talking about how s/he felt about it, what perhaps s/he wish had gone differently, what s/he would like to see happen in his/her experience in the future, and owning his/her own reactions to the situation. That doesn't have to be a flame, doesn't have to blame, it is not judgmental -- it's just him/her recounting an experience s/he's had, having an ooportunity to get the experience off their chest, and get some feedback or support so to speak without dissing someone else. For example, "This is what happened to me, and here is how I felt about it." Don't call names, don't badmouth the person. Just tell it from your side with your reactions and not judging the other person. It takes practice, and not a little bit of skill, but most of all, taking responsibility for one's own emotions, psyche, and actions. Not common these days...not common at all. But it is a skill that can be developed. And oh, BTW, the same rules apply to those of us who RESPOND to other people's posts....a-HEM.

Joined: 12/4/2007

Msg: 5 (view)

Are we all speaking the same language? Posted: 12/26/2007 9:01:45 AM
I totally agree with you Rockstar. And while we're talking the lexicon of relationships here, let me add some food for thought...the word "relationship." Now THERE'S a loaded word...most people these days tend to think of a "relationship" as a serious item, requiring vast investment of time, energy, heart and soul. Allow me broaden it for the fisherpeople of this site: There are relationships of all kinds, depths, and "sizes" so to speak. You have a "relationship" with your postal carrier; you have a "relationship" with your neighbors; you have "relationships" with your co-workers, family members, and friends, as well as perhaps a significant other, if you're lucky enough to have found someone whose company you enjoy and who enjoys yours. Any time you interact with another human being for more than a few minutes and more than once, you have a "relationship" of some kind. So, you meet someone, you want to keep it casual, and perhaps so does s/he. But s/he wants to see you more than once. OH. MY. GOD. S/he wants a RELATIONSHIP. RUN FOR THE HILLS. Really not necessary, if you would only both be mature enough and open enough to talk about what each of you is looking for, and what each of you may have found in the other. Then, you can be free to enjoy the "relationship" of whatever quality you have deemed possible with one another.

Joined: 12/4/2007

Msg: 51 (view)

Women With No Heart Posted: 12/26/2007 8:47:52 AM
Dustinmatia, re. your hypothesis that : You can't blame the women for getting screwed, I mean they go for the best looking guy, and that guy probably uses them. I beg to differ. Maybe some women go for the looks, etc...some of us, due to more vast experience or perhaps simple maturity at ANY age, look for character...even so, sometimes men can "look" good in terms of personality and character, and yet be major players...they sound honorable, they look honorable, and seem honorable on all levels, and yet, lo and behold, they make their play, and when they hit the endzone and slam that pigskin into the astroturf, it's hasta la vista, baby. And it had nothing to do with how they LOOKED, how much they earned, or what kind of car they drove. Just my $ .02.

Joined: 12/4/2007

Msg: 82 (view)

Why do women date mutiple guys at once? Posted: 12/25/2007 9:00:59 PM
This is a hypocritical statement at it's best... Its like going to a buffet....looking around, sampling everything, but not making a commitment to one single dish...Guess what....women have dealt with the same thing for a much longer period of time. Say...oh....the whole of recorded civilization....So let's cut the women a little bit of slack before out precious glass houses find themselves in the midst of a hailstorm. Oh essex...awesome response...will you marry me??? On a more serious note, you hit the nail on the head...and I seriously DO applaud you for that...if only more men thought like you ... OP, my personal position on it is that we are only DATING -- not engaged, not getting married, DATING. An activity designed to get to know one another, decide if there's enough substance there to move it along to a new level, whatever that level is. Unless the two of you have discussed it, and decided that you are going to be exclusive with one another, there is no harm in that, and actually, it is in BOTH your interests -- if she's kicking tires on other cars around the lot, then when she does finally settle on you, you KNOW she's done her homework, and you are the BOMB by her. So, relax, enjoy the ride, and try not to take it so seriously...

Joined: 12/4/2007

Msg: 42 (view)

Dumped After Sex Posted: 12/9/2007 10:47:16 AM
I'd like to correct a misconception here about the sex itself -- it WASN'T once -- it was ONE NIGHT. It was MORE than once. So, if, according to you naysayers, it "sucked", then why repeat it within the same evening???

Joined: 12/4/2007

Msg: 1 (view)

Dumped After Sex Posted: 12/7/2007 11:03:18 PM
Hey guys, Without trying to go to the bitter side of the universe, I'd like to know something. I'd been getting to know someone here on POF -- emailing, IMing, talking on the phone -- almost nightly -- for an hour or more -- over the course of a month. We'd met several times, and we got along great. I wasn't into a serious relationship but I truly did enjoy his company, and would have enjoyed spending additional time with him. He seemed like a genuinely decent guy, or I wouldn't have made the effort. We were together one evening, he made a pass at me, things went their natural route. He seemed to enjoy himself immensely, said goodnite, and then fell off the face of the planet. I contacted him to ask what's up, he made some lame excuse, and disappeared for good. I am not a clingy person, and gave him respect and space. He initiated the relationship, and most of what went on, and then bailed. What's up with that? And please tell me, why can't a guy just 'fess up if he doesn't want to take it further, instead of doing the ol' disappearing act? And why do they have to get the goods and then bail? It gives the rest of you a bad name. No matter how I look at it, it seems to me I've been burned, played and used, and it won't bode well for the guys that come behind him, I'm afraid. Thanks in advance for your thoughts...

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