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 Author Thread: Do women cook anymore??
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 348 (view)
 
Do women cook anymore??
Posted: 8/13/2009 12:55:49 PM
I do... I actually cook most of the time. I like to make things that taste good and play with puttin different things together that seem like they might work well together.

I also like good wines and taste different ones to see which are better than others.

Variety is the spice of life...in both people, food and wine .. to say the least! :)

If a guy cooks too, all the merrier.

I do take pause with someone saying a woman's place is in the kitchen....nope.. don't EVEN go there or you most likely will get a hit up side the head! I work too and I come home tired from a long day as well. I would enjoy someone cooking for ME for a change too!

I actually had a boyfriend where we both like to cook Whoever got home first or wanted to cooked, or we cooked together ...didn't matter. It wasn't anybody JOB...and we never looked at it that way and I never will.

 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 66 (view)
 
Strange things spoken during sex. Question for the ladies.
Posted: 8/11/2009 3:21:09 PM

One time during rather exhilarating sex I was asked if I was ok. He literally stopped what he was doing and said "are you ok?" I said "huh???" When I understood what he was asking I said "if you don't go back to what you were doing YOU wont be OK". HAHAHA Didn't we laugh over that!!!


I am laughing here!! SO TRUE!

The only time I have been asked if I'm ok is if he was large and and my voice changed from pleasure to pain! Then.. no, I'm not ok! LOL!! Otherwise..hey.. I'm ok!!

 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 37 (view)
 
When is it appropriate to take the step of inviting new friend home for dinner/movie?
Posted: 8/11/2009 2:59:43 PM
I haven't read the other replies yet and jumping in here...but having a date at your house after we've had a number of dates and feel comfortable with each other is nice. Especially if YOU are cooking dinner!

I will also ask you to come over to my house for the same since seeing how each other lives is a part of learning if we want to proceed further. I also like to cook and enjoy making dinner for man. I like it even more if he wants to help me cook and clean up so WE can have quality time together. Add a bit of wine with low lights and I am a very happy camper! Watching a movie is snuggle time!

I like to see where and how you live and want you to see how I live as well.. and how you interact with my furkids. How each of us lives on a day to day basis is important in the process of moving on to a relationship that's more than just dating.

I would think that you would mention the part about your hearing long before this date and that's not a problem at all. Let me whisper in your ear.. .... ..... .....
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 50 (view)
 
What do you think about men our age with small kids??
Posted: 8/9/2009 1:54:59 PM
well, I draw the line at someone with little kids in their life. I've been the "you're not my mommy" path a few times in the past and I'm not up for trying that again. I want someone who can share their time with me and me alone - withstanding older children. I enjoy little kids, but don't want to raise them. Not selfish either, just pratical.

50+ is not a time to start a family, it's hopefully time to spend enjoying what you have left! :)
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Anyone interested in getting together in Port St. Lucie area?
Posted: 8/9/2009 7:31:09 AM
keep me in mind as well.. always up for meeting new friends :)
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Are you becoming more set in your ways, making you less likely to find a realtionship?
Posted: 8/8/2009 5:32:57 PM
I often wonder if I am set in my ways when I really want to stay open to someone elses other ways. I know each and every one of us has our own way of doing things ...to wash or not wash mushrooms is one of them LOL!! But I hope to be open to cutting my peppers another way. The thing is... I like to cook! So.. I will most likely wash my mushrooms by taking off the dirt and slice my peppers .. this way.. unless you can do it instead! HEY>. easier for me to cook if you help the prep work! I'm up for that!
Heck all I want you to do is clean up after I cook! Help me in the kitchen.. ohhh yeaa! kisses ARE coming sooner! :)

I am always.. I think.. up for new ways to do just about anything!
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Putting the Cart before the horse
Posted: 8/7/2009 7:45:03 PM
I think his requesting personal info and emailing off of here on the first email is totally off base. The fact that he thinks you are wrong and then babbles on about "lots of women" etc tells me he has apparently tried this same thing on numerous women already and continues to fail. He must think highly of himself. Too bad we don't! LOL!!!
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Should I move on from him?
Posted: 8/5/2009 8:01:38 AM
I think I'd be looking elsewhere......he's not responding...

Newly divorced with a child- take it easy on yourself for a bit

good luck! :)
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Need advice for my sister....
Posted: 8/4/2009 11:40:05 AM
When he said to you ..."I'm not gonna marry somebody I'm not gonna marry." that alone says he is only keeping her around because she's handy and the relationship is comfortable FOR HIM. He will NEVER marry her! He doesn't want to, has no intentions, and as long as she sticks around he's just fine with the arrangement as it is. 10 years??? and still not even living in the same house?

Ask her another question.. does she not realize that TIME IS PASSING her by and so is the chance for a REAL marriage with someone who really loves her??

I recall a relationship I was in for 5 years. I drove up to my office one day and someone said, I saw Ron, your fiance. I said... Ron's not my fiance...and it hit me. I never had any intention of marrying Ron . Why was I wasting my time in a relationship with him for 5 years? Well.. ..my answer to myself is..
it was "comfortable". The companionship was good, the sex was good. Other things weren't good...and never would be...and so on. Reasons why I would not ever marry him. That day I made a decision- -it was over. Light bulb time!

No regrets. Good memories. He married someone a year later and we remain friends to this day. Glad I made the decision to stop wasting my life going no where.

Give her a light bulb...

 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 52 (view)
 
What to talk about after first or latter dates
Posted: 8/3/2009 10:06:38 AM
That viewpoint would be a useful thing to know on a first meet, though, so as to not end up wasting each other's time on a second date. Seriously, a woman who is "set off" by hearing "bless you" would be so totally incompatible with me, for several different reasons, that it's something I'd really hope to discover before wasting her time and mine on a first meet.

Which kind of reinforces the point. Avoiding potential conflict on a first meet is to elevate having a second date to what matters most, rather than to discover if there is any reason to think that you might be a match. The first meet is the time to find out if there are landmines there that make it pointless to proceed further.


Well RenaissanceMan ....Nice NOT to meet you then! At least I know up front. If you said one Bless You I probably wouldn't meet you and would know that in emails first since you'd probably say it there. I really don't care to be with someone who has the need to say Bless You all the time. I grew up in the Bible Belt and was around enough hypocrites that it actually turned me away from going to church a long time ago. I still go occasionally and ... well....hypocrites still exist.
Sitting with someone in church does not make anyone better than someone else .
There.....you got your debate.
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 49 (view)
 
What to talk about after first or latter dates
Posted: 8/2/2009 6:38:25 PM
I personally am not religious. I believe in a higher power but I don't find it necessary to attend church to be anything to anyone else.

Someone saying "bless you " every time I turn around does make me want to turn and go in the opposite direction. I don't have unresolved issues with religion, I have issues with so many people saying that and actually not being religious at all, but simply using those words and playing the Religion card and not having anything to do with them being religious. Heck, my next door neighbor is a bi-polar radical that got thrown out of Bible study for going off on them, and has gone off on me enough for me to have to call the police!. and still says.. Bless you... as if she were religious. It makes me cringe every time I hear it.

I won't debate politics. Don't care to, don't want to.

I do believe in learning about someone and things I don't know about. I am always learning something new every day, but that doesn't mean I have to debate over it.
I ask questions and learn from that. I have my views and if I can learn from someone elses, that's great. If my views are different I will state that. I am far from stupid and will debate other things in life. Politics just isn't one of the thing at the top of my list.

So be it....my opinion.. I am entitled to what I want too..
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 58 (view)
 
excuses or lies?
Posted: 8/1/2009 6:35:37 PM
I offer this story...I was on a first date meeting when my car was broadsided at an intersection. After the inital daze and seeing if I was ok/ alive/ no broken bones/not bleeding that I could see/ calling my best friend for help!/ I called the person I was supposed to meet who was only 2 blocks away. As I waited for the ambulance and EMT's to arrive to confirm that I was not hurt in a life threatening way...I also hoped that the person I was meeting would arrive to see if I was realllllly hurt. He did not. Nor did he call later to see if in fact I was ok . I find THAT not acceptable. I could have been dead for all he knew.

In answer to your question.. no... he is a liar. No show, not making another time to meet..never mind...drive by. I mean... heck.. I CALLED in the middle of being IN a major accident!
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Length of time to heal after divorced before dating
Posted: 8/1/2009 5:12:03 PM
Rule one.. there are no rules...but...
I find that there is more to divorce now than when you were younger. Kids, finances, economy, jobs..etc. I needed 2 years way back when and I didn't have kids.

I don't find someone getting a divorce now an easy thing to do and would hope they took long enough to actually get over what is happening. Too many want to jump back in to the ring and have NO IDEA what they are doing. It comes down to making the first few women your "test subjects"... and that in itself is not pretty! Anger rears it's head and the words ... MY WIFE DID THAT! come all to quickly. Women..RUN...!! RUN LIKE HELL!

Geez people... get your own place (not in your home with your Wife and kids!). Spend some time being ALONE and learn to do things without depending on your wife. Learn that you don't NEED to be with someone to make it through the divorce. You NEED to get your act together first.

A lot of us, me included, will not date a separated or newly divorced guy. It's way too hard and we end up losing in the end. Very hurtful and we actually didn't do anything except try to be there for you.
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Making a decent 1st impression??
Posted: 8/1/2009 4:56:17 PM
I 'm always going to dress to impress.... guys .. .please do the same!
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 107 (view)
 
where are the women with longhair
Posted: 8/1/2009 4:53:08 PM
geezz this post is over a year old and people are still going! ok... I have long hair and love it.. I'm alive! lol!
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 34 (view)
 
What to talk about after first or latter dates
Posted: 8/1/2009 4:46:40 PM
Well..I for one don't care to talk about politics or religion. I think the first few dates are getting to know someone on other levels. Sure, if you are a religious fanatic you would probably show that well before I met you as in ... bless you.... or something like that and send me running for the hills.

Politics - everyone has there own point of view be that one side or the other. I am not one to "debate" the subject, especially when I don't care for "debates" on it. Leave it out - my opinion is mine and yours is yours. If it's that important.. well.. sorry charlie... move on to someone you can debate with. I have other more important things, to me, to talk about.

Let's talk about saying "legumes" instead of "beans". The normal every day person would say beans.

How about talking about things the normal person would never know about unless they were in your particular line of work... such as Biotechnology. Yes it might be, and is, interesting but all the high tech engineer words don't mean a thing to someone not in your world. Why expect them to understand? Maybe it's easier to find another Biotech engineer to be with if that is all your world is.

How about talking about normal every day things like.... How was your day....
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Friday July 31, 2009 Port Saint Lucie POF Party
Posted: 7/30/2009 10:12:03 AM
just go to the top - hightlight the http part - copy and paste it! resend it to everyone you did in the beginning
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 37 (view)
 
To rub or not to rub? Is it the rub or the motion?
Posted: 7/28/2009 4:09:11 PM
I thinkg have ben-gag on and going out for a date is ....well. yuck!

As for the massage part, I am a hands on kind of person and if my date has sore shoulders I often offer to massage them. I happen to like massages myself and don't mind giving them because I know the person receiving it will feel better. What's not to like? Wish I could receive the same ...and sometimes do at other times.
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Think you are HOT..
Posted: 7/28/2009 3:04:32 PM
....IS there a button where you can mark someone as HOT?

LOL!!

Site work... we need site work!
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Friday July 31, 2009 Port Saint Lucie POF Party
Posted: 7/28/2009 12:22:32 PM
why not send out your message to a number of people - both female and males to have more than a few of us! Little fish hand stamp? I'm sure you can get one at the local store or for sure Michaels.
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Dating an individual with no children, how much of an issue is it?
Posted: 7/26/2009 5:20:56 PM
Ok... after I thoutht about it again..

YOU get a TIME OUT
YOU'RE GROUNDED
STAND IN THE CORNER
NO CELL PHONE
NO COMPUTER TIME
I'm gonna count .. 1...2....
You are not allowed to go out with ______!
You did WHAT?
I love you .. but....
OK.... FINE! (used on all ages of males)
You aren't wearing THAT..!

WHY? Because I said so!

so there.... are there any differences? Yes.. I don't say that to a 50 year old man but sometimes I'd like to. Do I know how.. yes. Do I have patience.. yes. Do I have empathy when ..nevermind..yes but. Do I have flexibility... sure.. we can go out tomorrow nite instead, I know how important that is to you. Hey...tell me about that, I never knew _______.

I mean .. jezz .... we grew up with MEN not children..although they are just like 'em many times!!!

 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Dating an individual with no children, how much of an issue is it?
Posted: 7/26/2009 3:30:13 PM
Issue? What issue? What makes you think someone who does not have children doesn't have just as much flexibility, tolerance, patience and empathy?

You think that by bearing a child that automatically gives you those traits?
I think NOT. Anyone can have a child or children and be just as out in left field as the next person.

Haveing children does not give you any "special gifts" of dealing with any relationship, even the one you have....or don't have.. with your kids.

Does the kid in the grocery store screaming his lungs out so loud that you think he's must be being butchered have a parent who is patient or just plain not a good parent? Or..maybe a parent who doesn't have a CLUE what to do next?

No ...sorry charlie...having kids didn't make you a saint in my book. No magic wand, no fairy dust.

Give us that don't have children credit for being good people too. We just learned to deal with other grown ups instead. :)
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
wedding rings in pictures
Posted: 7/23/2009 10:41:44 AM
Wearing a wedding ring still RINGS to me that you are still married..end of story.
If not , why wear it. It was a sign of committment and still is. If you aren't ready to take off the ring then you aren't available.

And it was said that some people don't wear rings at all and are still married - I still ask.
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Shaved bald, fuzzy, or full head of hair ladies?
Posted: 7/20/2009 7:12:29 AM
I like hair, but don't mind bald either. Any way you mentioned except mid back long. Don't care for a man who's hair is longer than mine!
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Singles Dance at The Ashley/Stuart, Fl 7 PM Wed. May 20th
Posted: 7/17/2009 4:25:37 PM
If you plan another party in Stuart or PSL please let me know! :)
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 34 (view)
 
How many Women out here Love SEX?
Posted: 7/17/2009 3:46:29 PM
Raising my hand!! Still want it. Would love to have a full time man in my life that wants it too! :)
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 112 (view)
 
What are your first-date dealbreakers?
Posted: 7/17/2009 3:23:26 PM
hummm seem to be running in to a deal breaker already ongoing arguement here..

so.. deal breakers

Someone said...you don't look like your picture - most of the time I get "you look better than your picture."

Someone is late - such as, it's after 6pm and I am suppsoed to have a date tonite and haven't heard from him yet when it was confirmed earlier today.

Bad mouthing ex's ...well thats the reason they are ex's
MUCH older than they state
Implying sex is expected
Using the F word over and over
Not polite to waiter/waitress and leaves no tip or way too little
Wandering eyes instead of paying attention to me- then I would guess he would never know I got up and left 5 minutes ago
Not looking at me at all and avoiding eye contact
They state on their profile that they don't smoke and lights up anyway when I say I don't like it.
MUCH older than me and think they "deserve" someone much younger
Can't carry on a conversation
BO
Didn't bother to change from a sweaty dirty tshirt and flip flops for dinner
Suggest that the come to MY house for first meeting....
Suggest I come to THEIR house for a first meeting

there's more.. but lots of others have covered them already :)
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Finger Nails
Posted: 7/16/2009 1:04:55 PM
I find most guys love my nails.... especially when they wander across their body and create goosbumps in the right places LOL!!

Also great for those.. oh..can't reach it.. there..yea, right there.. oh, thanks honey! itch!
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Room mates 45 and over, Does it effect dating?
Posted: 7/13/2009 8:20:24 AM
Yes it does. Privacy aspects, not being able to roam around the house and do whatever you want to do whenever you want to do it. Always having to be completly clothed when out of the bedroom. You have 5? I think that's way too many for any kind of comfort zone.
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 99 (view)
 
Does chemistry happen immediately?
Posted: 7/13/2009 7:56:17 AM
I agree with some of the other posts that chemistry and attraction are two different things. Yes, I have had instant attraction attacks and they are wonderful. I've had them lead from just a quick meeting to an afternoon spent talking to dinner an onward. Nice!

Chemistry has to set in once the attraction part is broken in. Then comes the part of compatibality etc. That takes more time and is the most important of all.

Attraction to me is not what it was when I was younger. I look for someone who I think I would enjoy being with in numerous ways, not just what they look like. The chemistry part. I look for someone I can talk to, have fun with, is affectionate, intelligent etc. Instead of a narrow view of what I wanted and would accept when I was younger, that view is now quite wide. Much more open and accepting, as it should be.
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Over 45? Why we have to make choice between LTR and dating?
Posted: 7/13/2009 7:26:47 AM

In the profile section you have to choose to be looking for "dating" or a "LTR". Why can't we choose both? In viewing some of the threads, I've seen where some warning that "you are scaring them off by choosing LTR" or the other way around. For me, yes, it would be nice to have a long term relationship, but in the meanwhile I'd to date ladies just to have an enjoyable evening out. Is it a turn-off for you if the guy/gal has selected LTR? Why? Or if they have selected "dating" does that turn you off, because you would really like to become invovled in a LTR and you think that person has absolutely no interest in anything but "fun"? I think its different for us over 45 vs. someone in there 20's. They are probably more specific in what they are looking for, but I think "we" shouldn't have to be locked into one or the other. What do ya think?


I agree with wanting to be in both. I would like to find a LTR but in the meantime that doesn't mean I don't want to enjoy myself and date and have fun too. I don't mind dating for a enjoyable evening out for both of us. If dating turns out to be more...wonderful. If it doesn't, nothing wrong with sharing a good time out with someone.
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 56 (view)
 
What you can tell by their eye color
Posted: 7/2/2009 6:11:03 PM
Green eyes
People with green eyes have the most passion put into relationships, honest and trust worthy, they have long lasting relationships. People with green eyes are also the most beautiful, are fun and outgoing, love to make people laugh, and random as ever. They long for the touch of another. They are very laid back. People with green eyes are very VERY sexy and very attracted towards other people. LOVES to have fun. They are always up for a challenge. As a fire ball this person will always have you guessing. Yet they draw you in with their amazing personality. THE BEST KISSER YOU WILL EVER MEET. You never want to let go of this person. Tend to cover up true feelings, get scared over relationships.


boy am I glad I have green eyes!

I can agree with all (especially the kissing part ) but the "scared over relationships" part. Can I have a pass to try one again and find out?

 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 67 (view)
 
Bad experience with pets
Posted: 7/2/2009 6:03:58 PM
Cats love to let you know they don't like what you did....so they will pee on the area that is most important that you will notice. I have 2 male cats, fixed, and both are big babies. They both sleep with me but Rascal is most attached to me and the alpha cat of the two.

If someone new comes in to my life it's best they make friends and Rascal understands that this new person is not taking his place but adding to mine. He will come on the bed and expect to be petted ...and he is...and he purrs, but he also knows enough to lay on the edge of the bed even if he doesn't want to.

I have found him moving his way back in ...the middle...with purrs and kneeding once things are quiet or in the morning. He gets petted and then politely put on the floor or moved. Usually things are ok then. As long as he gets attention too, he's fine. He's used to being the MAN in my life but will not give up the attention from both of us LOL!! That's ok... I don't mind sharing attention or petting! hahahaa
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 31 (view)
 
How far would you travel for a love affair?
Posted: 6/24/2009 5:35:08 PM
How far...well I have traveled across the state and he has traveled to me. That was fine when we both had 2-3 days open and could do that. Now, it's more difficult to do. We are still friends to this day and call on occasion by phone.

I have flown BACK across country to the opposite side. Shouldn't have but that would not stop me from doing it again for the right reasons.

I have had several fly in from out of state- some worked, some didn't. This was not recently but in my younger years.

I have driven 2 hours there ....2 hours back.

I have met in the middle for a date. Still will.

Let's say I have given finding the RIGHT guy a chance and still will if I see something there worth going after.

I personally think anyone who thinks only within their "neighborhood" driving distance is nuts and should expand their horizions to what might be beyone the next exit.

I do agree...gas prices are going up..and up...and I would PREFER someone closer by for the simple reason of being spontaneous and calling and saying.. hey sweetie.. come on over for ________ and it only takes a short while till he's here, or I am there.

BUT.. that will not stop me from looking elsewhere for love... if that is what it takes!

I work a hectic schedule as it is, but I do not sit at a desk so my time is MY time. How I use it is up to me.

ack... almost forgot to answer your other question.. why should the guy initiate the first meeting? BECAUSE I am still a lady and a lady likes to be ASKED. Not saying I would not hesitate to say a few things in that direction.. but preferences being...

 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 55 (view)
 
Deodorant, perfume and cologne: Do we really need 'em?
Posted: 6/23/2009 6:05:37 PM
I want them....love to smell nice and look nice. Love to have a man clean shaven and freshly showered. Later... well.. it is what it is. I will spend the time it takes to make my body as desirable as I can and that includes deodorant, perfume, body lotion, clean hair, manicure, you name it. But..thats me...

Pheramones...yes...they will still be there.....but give me clean to start off with and let US make them.
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 152 (view)
 
How important is chivalry in an relationship to you?
Posted: 6/23/2009 5:57:47 PM
I still like it. Actually ..love it. It's so uncommon these days and the younger generation has not been taught even the minor qualities of holding open a door for a lady or any of the simple common courtesies that used to exist.

Interesting...when I find a young man who actually holds open a door for me I make it a point to tell him "thank you!" ...his mother brought him up right. Wish the men would remember that.

I still like being treated like a LADY.
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 237 (view)
 
Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/23/2009 5:42:43 PM
I think the sure fire way of knowing if I want to marry someone IS to live with them.

Everyone seems (hopefully) to put their best foot forward on dates and thats fine. Then as we get to know the other person more and things come together. That initial information we gathered about that person has been added to and digested and hopefully we still say.. I like this person, let's keep going.

Living with someone will be the tell all of everything I would think. It brings out the every day habits of both individuals and a "reality" factor.

If we can live with each others "reality factors" and accept the things that make us individuals, then yes.... I say go for it.

As we grow older we all get set in our ways. Having a space for someone elses "stuff" and differences in each others lives, accepting them, embracing them, adjusting to them, makes a difference in if we are to last or fall by the wayside as so many others have.

Having an open mind to another individual and their past and present and hopefully
"our" future takes a bit of work and adjustment.

Me....I want to live with the man I think I want to marry. I want to know everything about his likes and dislikes and anything else I can find out that will make OUR life better. Hopefully he will feel the same.

I think many of us are past the point of wanting surprises in our lives. I want reality.
I don't want to guess and worry ....

I want my best friend, lover, helper, guide, mentor, listener, helper, and person to share everything and grow old with.

Maybe I went way past your question ...but.... haha... I got lost in thought....and maybe wishes too....
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Cuddling and touching after sex
Posted: 6/21/2009 8:10:28 AM
No...selfish is when you don't care what the other person wants or needs so you are not really "making love" you are just haveing sex. There IS a difference.

So if you like slam, bam, thank you now go away....that's fine, but if the other person doesn't feel the same way...THATS SELFISH

Making love includes thinking of the other person ..not just yourself....
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Cuddling and touching after sex
Posted: 6/20/2009 6:10:06 PM
I'm a cuddler...toucher...got to have it. I'm a very affectionate person. It's part of the entire experience.

I like to lay together and just gently run my fingers over his body. It just adds to the whole feeling of togetherness. That is part of what "making love" is all about.

I hate it when it's over and he just gets up and leaves. That will not be a person who stays around me very long.

To the others of you who say "I can't cuddle" or "get up and leave so I can sleep", you've got to be kidding! SELFISH. What was the point then....obviously nothing. Sex...just sex and nevermind. Nope..forget that. Don't need it, don't want it.
Go away....
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Cuddling and touching after sex
Posted: 6/20/2009 5:55:15 PM
I'm a cuddler...toucher...got to have it. I'm a very affectionate person. It's part of the entire experience.

I like to lay together and just gently run my fingers over his body. It just adds to the whole feeling of togetherness. That is part of what "making love" is all about.

I hate it when it's over and he just gets up and leaves. That will not be a person who stays around me very long.

To the others of you who say "I can't cuddle" or "get up and leave so I can sleep", you've got to be kidding! SELFISH. What was the point then....obviously nothing. Sex...just sex and nevermind. Nope..forget that. Don't need it, don't want it.
Go away....
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 95 (view)
 
Childless by Choice
Posted: 6/2/2009 7:09:52 AM
Don't have children, chose not to have children, no regrets and past the point now.

I am also not interested in someone who still have small children with them. I am old enough that I prefer OUR time spent together as the two of us...not the 3 or more of us. Some may think that selfish, I don't. Give me - no children or my children are 18 and older- anytime.

My background reasoning was somewhat similar to yours but I was the oldest and took all the grief my parents piled on me till the day they died.

Science says you will bring your children up like you were raised. I think I mentally decided that was not what I wanted to happen if I DID have children so my clock never ticked. I made the conscious decision to change my life and did. Glad I did to this day as my 2 sisters are living proof that science was right! LOL!!

by the way..... I don't dislike children I just chose not to have my own.

 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 364 (view)
 
Is kissing a important part of intimacy???
Posted: 6/1/2009 7:02:39 PM
IMPORTANT? It's a MAJOR in my book! Top of the list! Can't do without it in every way shape or form!

There are all different kinds of kisses ....and to me they can say SO MUCH without saying a word. A must have...can't live without it.

NEED a good kisser! One of my favorite things to do!
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 40 (view)
 
What do men vs women consider to be RED FLAGS?.
Posted: 6/1/2009 6:54:52 PM
That was a good list... I am just going to repeat it!

When they repeatedly suddenly have to go offline or can't give you their phone number.

Negativity of any sort. Life stinks, this site stinks, marriage stinks, the country stinks, etc.

Racism.

Crude jokes.

Intolerance of other people's opinions.

Control freaks. ALWAYS wants to know where I am or why I didn't answer the phone when he called 20 times! (I'm working!)

Addicts. Does drugs, drinks to excess, gambles to excess, etc.

Catching someone in a serious lie.

Has an immense dislike for women, in general, and his mom, in particular.

Bad mouths his exs... it's all THEIR fault that things didn't work out.

Doesn't like animals.
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 245 (view)
 
People, of our age, alone...what do our pets say about us?
Posted: 6/1/2009 6:48:09 PM
Interesting .... if find I am drawn to people who have pets or love animals. People who don't like animals I find I actually don't trust them. I think having a pet simply means you have taken the time to care for something other than yourself. A lack of selfishness.

Yes they sleep on my bed, but they don't have to be there.

Yes, he watches

If you have a pet...probably the first thing I will do is play with them. I am a lover of animals.

I guess it comes down to.... don't like my pets....don't like me. They will still be there after you are long gone.
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 92 (view)
 
Turned 50 and it's different (shallow thread)
Posted: 3/8/2009 8:37:44 PM
Every wonder why if you put your age at 49 and not at 50 you turn up on more peoples "wish list"....because once you turn 50 everyone thinks you are now considered OLD. Well.. I for one, do NOT consider 50 old at all.

As for the men who consider a women OLD at 50...you have a lot to learn and it might help to look in the mirror at yourself sometimes. It seems that men over 50 plus plus only want women way younger than themselves and I find that so...annoying? for lack of a more serious word I won't print.

I have no intention of being considered OLD by any standards including my age. If I am 50 or 60 it doesn't matter if I have fun and enjoy the company of the person I am with. I definately will date men younger than myself because I still have fun and enjoy myself. I find that many of the OLDER men seem to only want to sit around and expect you to do things for them! OR they are looking for the lovely trophy wife with the barbie doll look who will hold their arm and spend their money.

Me...I want someone who loves me for me no matter what age I am. Someone who still wants to have fun, SEX, and everything else there is to do. I didn't DIE at 50 and you didn't either.

Some people just have to learn that....and some never will!

KEEP GOING! There are plenty of us nice intelligent women out here looking for the same thing you are!
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 117 (view)
 
Advice on a sudden overdriven libido
Posted: 3/8/2009 8:09:34 PM
Don't worry about it! We all have "dry spells" but I have found that getting back in the saddle can re-awaken your mind and make you realize what you are missing and loved before. Why can't you STILL love it now?

Your mind just realized...hey...this is familiar and I remember I really liked it then...lets GO GIRL! Now the problem is finding the man who can keep up with you. I once got told " you need a 17 year old!" from a guy my own age. Obviously we didn't stay together but that's his loss. Once a month doesn't get it.

Being older may take its toll on our bodies in many ways, but it can't take our mind away and THAT is what controls everything!
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Play the Game?
Posted: 1/30/2009 7:02:36 PM
Games ? No, sorry, not in to playing games or sending in a girlfriend as a test. If we click, wonderful...let's take it from there and see what happens. If not, well, we tried, it didn't work and no hard feelings. At least we tried! Better than staying home and doing nothing and complaining about it.

Reminds me...I need to get out more often! LOL!!!
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 109 (view)
 
No Children....Why
Posted: 5/5/2008 5:10:23 PM
I also chose not to have children and am not ashamed or sorry I didn't in the least.

My own family was also not a "loving" and I think that is the reasons my "clock" never ticked because of that.

Medical science leans towards beliving that you raise your children like you were raised. I didn't want to be a parent that treats their children the way I was treated.

I get along well with kids and have no problem being around them. I am not sorry I don't have them myself. I will also say that at my age I am not looking to become a mommy to someone elses kids either. That alone will make me not go out with men who have children still living at home. Tried it, could not take the.."you're not my Mom" thing. Yes, it hurts and I am not looking to be hurt if I can help it.

I think one good thing did come out of all of my upbringing - I at least recognize the reasons WHY and my own personal life is so completely different because of it. I am a very loving and giving person, pretty much the complete opposite of my parents and even my sisters. My awareness makes me step up for people...even strangers....if I see the need for help. I don't even think about it, I just do it.

I am a lover, not a fighter. A giver not a taker.
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 456 (view)
 
Is kissing more or less important to you in a relationship as you get older?
Posted: 5/5/2008 4:54:12 PM
The journey of a thousand tingles begins with just one kiss.

you are SO right!

Great kisses are at the very top of my list of "must have"! It has everything to do with anything else that may go on between us. I like great kisses any time, all the time and ...you get the picture!! :)
 alilmschevious
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 104 (view)
 
now that you are OLDER/MIDDLE AGED, do you spend less time on grooming?
Posted: 2/16/2008 7:02:14 PM
I have always been a woman who like to look nice .. no matter what. I spend as much time as it takes... but! I do have it down to about an hour =shower, wash my hair, partially dry it, put on makeup, finish my hair (long) and get dressed. I think that is pretty darn good!

Looking GOOD has NEVER gone out my my style and never will!!!!!!
 
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