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czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 93 (view)

Do women find a sensitive men a turn off? Posted: 3/7/2008 6:46:42 AM
Bethesda Bear says, "What !! Are you crying !!?? WHAT THE HELL FOR !!" Yeah...people assume that women will cry over anything, and at the drop of a hat. Ever since I was a child, I always cried alone. For the reasons that you mentioned above. Crying is usually an intimate experience, and I've always felt that if I will go through the emotional Roto-Router, I'd rather do it in the privacy of my own (closed) room. Or face dealing with the types of reactions mentioned above. My criteria for true intimacy is when the relationship is deep and trusting enough where both parties can cry with/to each other. If there is no setup for this, then I cannot think of it as a relationship. It would just be a friendship to me... In true intimacy, there are no [permanent] walls. --Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 440 (view)

The illusion of online dating Posted: 3/6/2008 9:34:43 PM
Someone may or may not have already mentioned this, but I feel the need to chime in to clarify something. If this was already mentioned, my apologies for beating a dead horse. However… To address the OP’s fascination with arranged marriage: bear in mind that this type of situation occurs in cultures that are COMPLETELY foreign to ours, like India for example. In India, marriage is based upon survival and practicality, not love and romance as it is in the West. The wants and needs of the individual are subsumed to those of the group. In other words, young people are socialized to defer to their parents' judgement on practical matters rather than relying on their own judgement. Marriage is considered a HIGHLY practical matter in this instance. Realize that marriage is considered to be a duty to one's family. I’m not sure where the OP did his research, but when he comments that people who are in arranged marriages are happy and content with their lives, you have to understand what ‘contentment’ means in an Oriental or Eastern framework. As Westerners, we can barely wrap our heads around the concept. ‘Happy’ to them means that they have obeyed their parents and that they will live a life of duty and humility. They have most likely not tasted romantic love or compatibility as we see it because it is not prevalent in their culture. They have no knowledge of any other standard to base their opinions on. For example: If you’re 16 years old and your parents have found a ‘good’ family that can offer a mate of compatible age, caste and social status, it is considered a ‘good match’. The young’uns will marry without delay. Does this sound familiar to most of us…? Nope, didn’t think so. In other words, their concept of ‘happy’ and ours are diametrically opposed. It seems to hold some fascination for the OP because this concept seems novel or it seems an easier, cheaper gig than dating but trust me, my friend, happiness and compatibility as we know it have VERY little to do with these pairings. In the West, for better or worse, individualism is the order of the day. Most of us want to choose our own mates, even if what we end up with is not exactly what we dreamed of. We also want to retain the right not to choose at all if we don't find what we are looking for. Freedom of choice carries its own set of problems, but it's what most of us (in this forum) are culturally wired for. --Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 119 (view)

Do men ever stop looking for another woman? Posted: 2/6/2008 8:40:39 PM
SpanishSugar Says: "if u are meant to be and become truly special to each other u can parade naked women in front of him all day long and he will still choose YOU" Yes, they do stop looking. This has been true in my own experience as well. If you are really INTO each other, and the sex is at least decent and you share a certain emotional and energetic simpatico, chances are he won't even look....hell, if you sucked all the naughty energy outta him... oftentimes he won't have much left to look with... He'll be too tired recuperating after being with you! Same is true for women. Give us what we need emotionally, intellectually and sexually and we will lose the impetus to rove or browse. If our core needs are met, then we'll work on other aspects of our lives that need attention (like school, going to the gym, career, etc.) --Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 106 (view)

Most women will have sex very early in a relationship Posted: 2/3/2008 8:27:56 AM
Hey Kasei: "You know, not all guys are horny all the time. I mean sure, I am....but I know guys who really don't have much of a sex drive at all. I hear there is some people out there who are "asexual", meaning they lack a desire for sex but still enjoy platonic relationships with people. I've knew one guy who said he was afraid to have sex with this girl he knew cause he felt he'd be...er, inadequate, so I suppose there is lots of guys who aren't in a big rush to jump into bed until they feel like the girl isn't gonna point and laugh at them if they suck. It's a comfort level thing I think." Good post. You're RIGHT about the myth that all men are horny all the time. If you're a highly sexed woman, it's not always easy to find parity in a mate. It's not always easy to find a match. However, the part about only dating atheists and agnostics...don't stop there--dude, there are horny women all through the spectrum of spirituality/religion. --Liz p.s. Denaj, I never got the memo on that one, either. I think the best thing to do is to judge the guy's character first, to see if he's worth even having a casual affair with. You need to put him through your 'jerk' filters to see if he can be cool/mature about it...if so, proceed...

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 21 (view)

does Karma really exist Posted: 2/2/2008 5:21:15 PM
Hey Spiceoflife31: O.K., quick look at your resume, what do we got? Oooops! My hands got dirty... A self-proclaimed 'b*stard' and 'heartbreaker' You go "full tilt , get your fill, and then end the relationship" when you get bored. You refer to yourself as 'Mr. Commitment Phobia' When she blew you off, you informed her that "actions speak volumes and we are done." In other words, you tried to dump her when she already beat you to the punch waaay before. [????] Ummm.. let's see...is this really a question? Or is this a joke? A brain teaser this ain't... Karma sandwich, anyone? Hellllo? --Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 155 (view)

Why don't P.O.F. Forum users just date each other? Posted: 2/2/2008 8:56:53 AM
That's a good point, Mr Farenheit : "I don't think participating in the forums is any more likely to lead to romance than having the same profession as someone, or being at the same concert. It's great that we can maybe get along with people whom we might not have otherwise met, but "best of the best" or not, we are all still prone to the same instincts of attraction and compatability as the "worst of the worst". It's interesting [in this primarily visual medium] to meet a poster whose profile you may not necessarily have clicked on but whose words and worldview are a complete turn-on. There are guys who may not be my physical 'type' but I find their input truly fascinating. Love it when the unexpected happens... I'm sure the same is true for women. The guy may have overlooked her profile because she didn't make the geographical/physical stats, but then the guy may stop and say...Shazaam! I love what she just said. An eye-opener for both genders. p.s. I also love the 'pillow talk' between members of the opposite sex who argue passionately over the 'he said/she said' quality of some of the threads. Hilarious! --Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 70 (view)

Don't feed a stray dog. Posted: 2/1/2008 11:30:45 PM
JRobert says, :"I like when a woman catches my eye, inspires me to approach her. Rare as it is, sometimes it can be magic. And (again) believe me, it is on my terms." JRobert, honey, ....the dance is ALWAYS on our terms. And we know it. If she's nice n' flirty, she'll let you think that you're leading. Remember...Ginger did what Fred did...but BACKWARDS...and in heels... Namaste! --Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 69 (view)

Don't feed a stray dog. Posted: 2/1/2008 10:58:31 PM
TINYDANCER says, "I have NEVER in my 52 years on this earth heard of any woman (or man) having sex with someone in the hopes of getting rid of them ... ... unless you give them some REALLY bad sex and hope they'll disappear " Yes, Nipolean, Tinydancer...there's a word for it.. I first heard it in highschool and it cracked me up...it's called a Pity F*ck. A woman will sleep with a guy who she is not attracted to in hopes of getting rid of him because she thinks she FINALLY gave him what he wanted and now he will hopefully go away. 'Course most of the time it doesn't work and the guy will come back for more. So if you're buying MilkBone, make sure you buy in bulk! PetSmart is having a sale this week. LOL... p.s. For the "Woe is Me, He Humped Me n' Dumped Me" crowd: Remember it could also work the other way...be careful what you wish for [or add another name to the lease]...;O) --Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 68 (view)

Don't feed a stray dog. Posted: 2/1/2008 10:45:26 PM
Ugly Betty quotes: "question for you.... why do they get turned on when I am mean.. I can be 100% seriously mean.. a heinous **** even..and they respond with a big dumb grin and persistance hahaha... Yeah, what's your take on this? I say no thanks, I'm not interested and they tell me they're more interested in me because I say what I mean. Yes....I just said I'm not interested - why am I still talking to you... What's up with that?" I've experienced it many times...give 'em the cold shoulder and they come a crawlin'. Hi Betty: I think the rationale here is the same as when men VISIBLY BRIGHTEN when you tell them you're not interested because you're a lesbian. LOL.. Sometimes it's a good way to send them packing, but just as often they see it as a challenge and now they're even MORE intrigued. It sounds like a vestigial hunt/chase/conquest behavior that dies hard. Some of this is alluded to in the book Men Love B*tches by Sherry Argov. Do we have as many posts on this topic as we do the "Women Love Jerks" threads? LOL --Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 41 (view)

ladies afraid of a busy guy ? Posted: 2/1/2008 10:29:53 PM
My answer is: "How busy and when?" I concur with Ugly Betty about wanting to see someone about 3 or 4 days a week max. If we spend every bit of free time together, we could suffocate each other and the relationship may lose its edge. That usually spells trouble. HOWEVER...if you or I become SO busy that we end up continually being like two ships that pass in the night.....then I may conclude that it's just a particularly busy time in our lives and maybe it's not such a good time for a relationship. Some people who are VERY busy with school/work/kids/etc...may be doing themselves and others a favor in temporarily withdrawing themselves from the dating pool until they can devote a reasonable amount of time to another person. I'm not a fan of codependency but I do think that a minimum of time is required in order for a relationship to be viable. Also, time spent is a compatibility issue and if there are HUGE incompatibilities here...it will be hard to go further in the relationship. You really need to be on the same page with this. --Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 89 (view)

Why is it hard for women to Date men with kids? Posted: 2/1/2008 9:52:09 PM
The emerald teardrop says," Because we don't love your kids as much as you do. " Wellllll.....this is a complex question and warrants more than a facile answer. Understand the position you are putting the woman in. She will be dealing with your children on some level, even it's only a few hours a week. Will the children like her/see her as competition? Will they compare her to their mother? The woman knows right from the beginning that she will have to take a back seat to the children. This complicates an already complicated situation (love, dating, sex and romance..) Most people are overextended with their work, their own kids if they have any, school, financial obligations, etc. It's a lot to take on. When both parties already have so many responsibilities, children and exes are not easily fit into the equation. No matter how you slice it, it's challenging at best. Can it work? Yes...but all parties would have to make their best effort-- if you are the party with the children, you should realize that your partner has her own needs and you'd need to be there to fulfill them to a reasonable extent. Give her something to work with. I would advise against saying, "This is my situation, love it or leave it." Help her relate to your kids on any level possible/appropriate and give her as much alone time as you can. I believe that some people don't mind dating people with kids because they may enjoy bonding with the kids, they may be very independent, they may have things on their own plate, etc. As I said before, it can work but it will take patience, effort and maturity on everyone's part. (Including the kids')... p.s. Well said, Oriole: " Like any dating problem, the solution is to date the people for whom it's not a problem." Same is true if you're short, fat, poor, bald, etc. Forgive me, but to put it bluntly: one woman's [man's] trash is another woman's treasure. What is a deal-breaker for one person may be someone else's lil' slice of heaven. Remember the Sound Of Music?

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 98 (view)

Most women will have sex very early in a relationship Posted: 2/1/2008 9:03:07 PM
Arugula says: "And we should take note of the men who feel this way. They're the ones who have no respect for women who are sexual, who don't use their vagina to "catch" a man. They think women's sexual drive is not as valid as men's. He applauds the male need but assumes the woman's need is non-existent or very low. The vagina is just a marketing tool. And, of course, he'll eventually find exactly what he's looking for. Or, I should say, "buy" what he's looking for. And he'll pay for it everyday for the rest of his life. She doesn't like sex in the first place, so she'll "reward" him with it when he's a good boy and punish him with it when he's a bad boy. But he expects that from women, so it's OK. It's what he wants." Man, reading these posts is like having lunch with Socrates, Plato, and King Solomon all rolled up into one! Thanks everyone for your wisdom and insight. This may be a 'shocker' or sound more or less progressive in terms of geographic market, but: Our [Female] sexuality is ours: to share, to give, to 'give up', to withold, to keep to ourselves...our bodies, our choice. Ownership of one's sexuality is part of self-empowerment and integral to the human experience. Is this difficult to understand? As long as two people are dealing with each other in a reasonably mature, honest and ethical way, what's the problem? And, for the record, the assumption that a man will 'never turn it down' is pure nonsense. If that were true, I'd have 100 dates a night, things would never be slow, I'd be packin' 'em in on this site, and I'd have much LESS forum time..LOL --Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 145 (view)

Checking out your rack, turn on or turn off? Posted: 2/1/2008 7:51:34 PM
game0n says, "Why do guys have such a hard time with this? They are just breasts... if you wanta look go ahead and take a look... just pay attention to what she is saying is all !!! I look all the time and I don't try and hide it... never seems to be a problem." I'm busty, but I can also at times project a 'don't mess with me' aura. So some men will sneak a glance here and there, and go on about their business. I don't usually get harassed this way--works for me. My advice: As long as you don't act like an idiot or a dog in heat, I think many women are okay with it. Sneak a few subtle [respectful] glances..if you're single and looking, it's not a problem and usually understood by most women. ACCENT ON SUBTLE, FOLKS! However, if you are too busy drooling to listen to what women are saying, obviously a problem, you should have gotten past this in grade school. An obvious sign of immaturity. AND if you are standing with a woman [who you are dating or married to] same advice...if a woman comes in with a screaming red halter and 38DD's, check it out, but quickly, and subtly, and go back to focusing on your lady. Having your eyeballs glued to all the hotties who walk by is not a winning strategy if you're dating a woman who has a shred of self-respect. Check yourself before you wreck yourself....LOL... --Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 76 (view)

Do women find a sensitive men a turn off? Posted: 2/1/2008 7:07:48 PM
For me, a sensitive man is a REQUIREMENT. I can be emotionally sensitive too, as well as strong. If I run the gamut of emotions, I would appreciate emotional parity with the man. Should he like 'chick flicks'? Yes, he should have broader tastes than wrestling and car chase movies. Should he cry at them? Yes, if he feels so moved. Amazing when we cry together, too. Should he experience strong emotion at personal dramas/tragedies? Yes, it's an appropriate human emotion. And it's universal. Should he wear his heart on his sleeve when he's with you? Yes...otherwise, why are you dating? Should he be gushy in bed? DAMN, I hope so...otherwise the experience is cold and dry...like the desert at nightfall. LoverLady Says: "Once again, I love when a man is sensitive. usually when they are sensitive, their sensuality is hightened, thus making love extremely satisfiying and mind blowing for us women" Excellent point.... If I can be strong and sensitive, so should he...otherwise, what are we talking about? He should match my own emotional range. --Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 698 (view)

Ever feel like your going to be alone forever? Posted: 1/19/2008 8:19:22 PM
Rusty Knob says: [ luckily 4 me i like being alone & i doubt taht im not going to make it to 40 (omg that s so old anyway -who would want to??)/] Dude--are you serious? You will take a nap, wake up, and you will be 38. ROFLMFAO. --L

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 437 (view)

He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya???? Posted: 1/18/2008 6:19:25 PM
I would say, "O.K. obviously you think I'm too heavy. Let's talk about THAT first before there will be any talk of marriage." If the guy truly thinks you're fat...but gives you a marriage proposal he's probably serious about loving you but also has some qualms about the social reality of being with a person who he deems too heavy. Talk it over; if he thinks it's that important resolve to settle it, meet in the middle, compromise or simply walk away if it's something you will not budge on. He may have this attitude for health reasons, not necessarily cosmetic. That's why I didn't advise to drop the guy IMMEDIATELY. Weigh it pro and con, if you can't come to reasonable consensus that pleases both parties witin a few months then a WEDDING IS PROBABLY NOT A GOOD IDEA. --Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 686 (view)

Ever feel like your going to be alone forever? Posted: 1/18/2008 3:31:56 PM
It seems like being alone is usually ultimately a choice. I feel that in this society we're all really separate and isolated because we have these really heavy burdens like work and school (and in some cases children) and those things conspire to keep people apart. We don't really have communities the way we used to. Remember the summer square dances in days of yore? (Probably not, because square dances went out before most of us were born...) LOL... Anyway...over the years we all worked so hard to have our own homes, mortgages, academic credentials, etc. that we have worked our way into a state of almost permanent aloneness. I know this problem is universal but I'll betcha it hits harder here than in most countries in the world because of the way society is set up. (United States.) We don't really have a cafe society like they do in France or in Italy, etc. where people socialize on a REGULAR basis and do it for years. When we go out it's clubs in the suburbs/cities and when we meet other people it's generally catch as catch can. I don't see much solidarity anymore... We have SO many responsibilities and material requirements and SO FEW quality relationships. I think it's something that we need to focus on and make a priority but realize that it's a constant challenge to stay connected with people as society is now so transient and busy, etc. This is the first era where I think so many YOUNG people are even complaining about it. Solitude used to primarily be the province of the aged. However, I think there's MORE than a glimmer of hope for most of us if we pursue it earnestly but I also feel that the archetypal spinster with the 50 cats may very well be that way....by choice. But since it doesn't seem like a valid social option most of us have some deep-down suspicion that there is something VERY wrong with us if we remain celibate. Dating can be a big expense/frustration/energy drain at times and sometimes we just get stuck in all the other things that we are supposed to do. --Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 384 (view)

Why do guys always do this to me? Does anyone else have this problem?... Posted: 1/18/2008 3:06:46 PM
Hi Shauna: I'm sure you've heard this before in these posts but my guess is: 1. You gave it up too fast. 2. And probably to the wrong guy. One or the other but usually the combination. --Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 152 (view)

Pretty people get overlooked too you know. Posted: 1/18/2008 2:59:30 PM
Well, I dunno, maybe someone needs to explain this to me. I've heard this before...good looking people staying at home most nights...how is it possible when we live in a society that is so FIXATED on looks? The OP sounds a bit..um..unbalanced...but I'm wondering how much truth there is to this 'beautiful people not catching a break in the dating scene' stuff. Thoughts....? --Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 183 (view)

When should the woman start paying?? Posted: 1/17/2008 9:50:43 PM
Paying...interesting...OP, sounds like yer date is a Dinner Ho....hee hee I believe there is a logical way for dates to progress as relationships move forward. With a perfect stranger, it should be drinks. Period. I think that even lunch is a bit much of an expenditure to meet/speak with someone who you barely know and are not even sure you're the slightest bit attracted to. Starbucks, gelato cafes, etc. are all great places to get to know someone without the financial pressure of the who pays? question. If there is interest past the 'drink' date, you move on the 'lunch' date. I believe it's best to go Dutch and if ya do that there are no disappointments on either side. If that goes well, well, you know...do the Dinner thang. Again...do it Dutch. Then you're in a position to see if there's any potential for a relationship and if there is... I say it's an individual call. In my personal experience, most of the men I've been in solid relationships with have paid for most of the dinners. I think it's a man's way of showing appreciation for you/your company. I like to go Dutch sometimes or to pay a man's way at other times...it's an ebb and flow of giving like anything else...you may cook dinner and he may wash the dishes...he may buy you jewelry and you may buy clothes for him at a department store. You give in a way that feels appropriate/satisfying for you on an individual basis. There are a million ways to show appreciation and it's something that you have to feel out as the weeks/months ensue. Realize that there are some women who outearn men and I still feel that a man should pay at least 1/2 the time, for his own self-esteem and to have him contribute in an appropriate way. I think any other arrangement usually ultimately spells trouble. I know, I've been there, got the tee shirt. My 2 cents. p.s. SwampHunter, what you say is admirable but why not entertain something a bit different? Giving is more fun and refreshing when it's a two-way street...the woman may enjoy paying for a few and a little flexibility is always nice in a relationship. --Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 141 (view)

Where the hell is my Mr. Right? Posted: 1/15/2008 7:53:29 PM
["However, I don't think I should have to work to "earn" a good man. I DESERVE one."] Issy: There is an old saying in spiritual/metaphysical circles: Deserve Before You Desire. Write it in letters of fire on your heart and remember it always. This is not to say that you have to 'earn' love from the man. We are not here to 'prove' anything to others. We are here to realize something within our own heart: You earn peace in life through gratitude, work, friendship, service, self-inquiry, etc. When you find a suitable mate, the two of you will build something together and co-evolve. It ain't always easy and sometimes it's downright painful, but hey, that's the life process. It's also blissful, beautiful and joyous too. Just like birth. The cream rises to the top. Strive to become everything you want to attract and watch it manifest. --Liz p.s. I LIKE this forum. It gives me a chance to feel myself out on these topics. The sounding board is great. However, it is important to have a life offline, too. ;O)

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 33 (view)

Is there hope after 30? Are girls 20-25 still interested? Posted: 1/13/2008 9:54:16 PM
PLEASE everyone stop talking about burgers and fries...it's 12:30 a.m. and you're all making me hungry! --Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 60 (view)

You only get over someone when you're with someone new?.. Posted: 1/13/2008 9:33:52 PM
You know, there's a reason that in AA they tell people to give it a year after the breakup of a significant relationship before attempting to get into a new one. After the drama of experiencing deep feelings and aching emotions, you need to heal and get clear about what is the healthiest course to take. What's the definition of a significant relationship? It has nothing to do with the time spent...it's about the depth of your feelings for the person. If you were seriously in love with someone and you had to break it off, give it that year. It will go by quickly and you won't waste the next person's time with your emotional 'baggage'. (Not a delicate word choice, but in this context perhaps appropriate. You want to respect the next person by focusing on them with an un-muddled mind.) Let yourself heal, be totally 'selfish', pamper yourself, have some alone time and feel the freedom and beauty of solitude. When you meet the next person, you will be able to give them more of yourself...they will appreciate it. All in good time.

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 54 (view)

Cheated on but still trying to make it work Posted: 1/13/2008 6:58:23 AM
Oh, baby---Yes, yes, you love him. Okay, but.... The pain of having this guy in your life will outweigh the bliss of 'loving' him. Someone else mentioned that he is keeping you on as an 'insurance policy.' Yeah. Listen--of course he wants to marry you...you'll apparently put up with ANYTHING he dishes out. Sometimes in life you have to cut your losses and move on. You're still fairly young, so do it. What kind of role model can he be to your son? Every day that he steals from your life is another day you could be with a good guy who loves you. I tell ya, honey..regret is the poison of life. Don't sweat it out or endure...just move on while you're young and strong enough to do so. Any situation that is less than happy/functional isn't worth it at all and you're better off alone. p.s. Someone said something great here: 'Cheaters (and abusers) bank on you loving them more than you love yourself.' AMEN... --Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 1447 (view)

Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers? Posted: 1/11/2008 5:53:10 PM
I don't have kids, but I would imagine that single parents who want to date need to find people who are 'family oriented' or who have 'family values'. If you are dating someone who does not get that or share that sense of simpatico, there will likely be problems down the line. In other words, it may not immediately matter if the child is your own as a single parent or you are raising a child together with that child's biological parent, people must understand that the child necessarily comes first because a child is vulnerable and has dependency needs. It's that simple. You may meet and date a childless person who completely understands that and acts accordingly, or you may be married to someone who has fathered/parented a child with you who has NO COMPREHENSION of it at all. I think some people have a natural sense of parenting skills/sympathy with or without the biological ties and some other people can't appreciate the reality of having kids no matter what type of situation they're in. --Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 63 (view)

The magic age of 50? Posted: 1/11/2008 4:22:18 PM
FancyNanci! Will you be my mentor? LOL! Go ON with ya bad self! You are proof that (some) blondes have more fun! (Wonder if I should change my hair back to blonde...)? --Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 735 (view)

In Love One Must Never Dispair! Posted: 1/11/2008 10:02:55 AM
Hi Everyone: Thought we could all use a morale boost. I give you one of the top five of a handful of the sexiest, most gorgeous, most romantic rock songs of all time: Jefferson Starship Miracles....download this baby...you'll be walking on a cloud for the rest of the day...this song is what it's about. p.s. For those of you who are too young...Jefferson Airplane of Woodstock/Summer of Love Fame turned into 70's Stadium Rock Band Jefferson Starship. Enjoy! Miracles If only you believe like I believe, baby We'd get by If only you believe in miracles, baby So would I If only you believe like I believe, baby We'd get by If only you believe in miracles, baby So would I. I might have to move heaven and earth to prove It to you, baby So we're makin' love and you feel the power And I feel the power Then there's really nothing that we can't do If we wanted to, baby We could exist on the stars It'd be so easy All we gotta do Is get a little faith in you Oh, I've been (to) so many places I've seen some things I know, love is the answer Keeps holding this world together Ain't nothing better Ain't nothing better And all the answers to our prayers Hell , it's the same everywheres, baby Nothing ever breaks up the heart Only tears give you away Then you're right where I found ya With my arms around ya Oh baby, baby, baby, love is a magic word, yeah Few ever find in a lifetime But from that very first look in your eyes I knew you and I had but one heart Only our bodies were apart That was so easy, so easy I had a taste of the real world When I went down on you, girl. If only you believe like I believe, baby We'd get by If only you believe in miracles, baby So would I If only you believe like I believe, baby We'd get by If only you believe in miracles, baby So would I. I can hear windmills and rainbows Whenever you're talkin' to me I feel like swirling and dancin' Whenever you're walking with me You ripple like a river when I touch you When I pluck your body like a string When I start dancin' inside ya Oh baby, you make me wanna sing Yeah, baby, baby, baby, baby Oh yeah, all right Baby, we're sure doin' it tonight Everytime you come by, let me try Pretty, please sugar on it That's how I like it I can't even believe it, with you It's like having every dream I ever wanted Come true I picked up your vibes You know it opened my eyes But I'm still dreamin' yeah And you're right where I found ya With my arms around ya. Refrain (2x) Jefferson Starship Miracles lyrics Discuss in our forums Jefferson Starship Miracles lyrics Jefferson Starship ringtones Lyrics search Enter your search terms Submit search form Web Lyrics Song

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 62 (view)

Where the hell is my Mr. Right? Posted: 1/10/2008 7:51:30 PM
Hey Issy: I hear that you want to have someone to love and accompany you through life's journey. That's a universal human impulse and you will probably find it if you focus with a sincere and loving heart. I guess what everyone in this forum is trying to say (probably in not the most subtle way, but anyway) is that, yes, we all want someone to love...but life is not only about love and romance. There may be other aspects to your personal path that warrant exploration/discovery. What kind of woman do you want to be? Do you want to work full time or be a full-time housewife? (Both paths are legitimate.) Do you want to trade stocks or fly to the moon? Or do you want to be a young wife and mother with less time to explore any of these questions...Remember--when you're married you'll be cohabitating with someone and focusing on his needs and that will demand much of your physical/spiritual energy. Questions to ponder: What if the security of your marriage falls apart through death or divorce? Do you have the autonomy/maturity/strength to pick up the pieces and move on? These are the types of things that you explore when you spend some real time in solitude. BTW, There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to marry young (and heck, we are the first few generations in history to not be socially compelled to do just that!) However, if you've had a few relationships and they haven't satisfied your needs yet, maybe there is more to learn on this road....ya think? That said, if this is something that you really want, and you maintain a steady focus, you will probably find someone who is marriage material soon enough. Things have a funny way of coming together at certain times...sometimes when we least expect it.

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 54 (view)

Where the hell is my Mr. Right? Posted: 1/9/2008 6:26:03 PM
Hi Issy: I'm gonna reiterate some of the things that were said by some people on this board. You are VERY young...are you so sure that you want to settle down now? Take some celibate time off for self-exploration, going to school, focusing on a new job, etc. Take some time to be a bit self-absorbed, be contemplative, meditate...focus on a spiritual path. As the others have said, perhaps your friends got married because it was the status quo, and a few years from now they may regret it when life pressures descend and they realize they don't REALLY know who've they married. (And they have a lot of baggage, etc.) The most compelling love affair you can ever have is with YOURSELF...revel in it, bask in it...praise the gods that you are young and have time to take your life in any direction you choose now without big responsibilities, children, burdens, etc. And then...when you're ready and you've taken a breather...you'll have a better idea of who you are and what you want from a mate and PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE, have fun...take it light and look for a nice guy who will respect you and appreciate you for who you are. Then you'll be glad you've taken the time to know YOU and you'll have more and better to bring to a relationship..and you'll in turn attract a mate who is more mature and has more to offer you in return. --Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 5738 (view)

'Nother Poem! Posted: 1/8/2008 9:00:07 PM
Dark Continent Quick! When dusk surrenders to Dawn I contemplate You What you would feel like underneath me I’d like to explore you Like a Lost Dark Continent You are Africa Or Better Still Pangea (the original supercontinent) All inclusive and intact The father of all…. Before explorers were Consumed by wanderlust Before empires rose and fell Before you were sullied by a single human soul There was You--Huge Containing all Elements Every Sign of Life Seducing the morning in post-dusk Brown eyes Flashing Oh Massive Volcano, Terrific, Terrestrial You sleep, temporarily quieted THEN COMMENCE THE GREAT RUMBLINGS WITHIN You wake up like an Earthquake The plates shift temporarily You’re up, it’s coming--- I quickly think Escape But you come down in massive Beneficence Hugely sexy I’m the willful prisoner Shackled to your bed There’s no exit-------- ----LH

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 211 (view)

How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked.... Posted: 1/8/2008 8:40:17 PM
Mitch: I'm not sure who you're addressing your comment to; you may be directing that toward someone who is no longer in this thread. A bit vague... I'm sharing my comments/experiences/observations with others in this forum. Other people have had similar experiences and we can all benefit from kicking ideas around. I enjoy the feedback. If my comments are offensive or disconcerting to some, then maybe they need to join another thread...(?) And...what I'm starting to realize is that we're ALL visual creatures...women have ideas of what appeal to us just as men do....and we have other criteria that we deem important and then we start to make an evaluation...Both genders have that in common. What this thread is about is how it seems that some people may have physical standards that are a tad unrealistic (women included.) P.S. SHOW me a man who is truly sexually hyped and I'll tilt my hat....LOL...anyway, back to the drawing board...

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 5735 (view)

Here's my poem...Hot Box Posted: 1/8/2008 6:52:04 PM
Hot Box 4/23/95 Cleanse you in the shower As mottled waterdrops sparkle from your lips I drag my fingertips from Your neck Down your chin Winding around the matted down Of your Belly Watch the Lunatic dew of raging crystal drops Anointing you with ocean spray Fresh concentric soap-splatter You are my internal ring Of hallowed heat And melting into you Tenderness touches itself—self kissing Bodies in a box Slick slather of milky-hot Tango an intimate tangle-mash I’m Laughing rainbows and soul-crash Mist is off and temporal beads expire Trapped in and out of skin layers Holding heat and lightness wet And captive Till it breaks out again through pores Without barriers But a cycle of living Water encapsulates unbounded incarnations Soap bubbles a snowy incantation Of Together In a Wet Box Fixed And hot Enjoy....Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 193 (view)

How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked.... Posted: 1/6/2008 8:02:51 AM
The two other gals who are also having problems getting male attention are K_Leigh and Raychass. Interestingly, both are from New Brunswick, Canada....Now I thought that men outnumbered women up in those parts and the odds were pretty good for us gals. (??) Is it a good market? There are some women in Toronto and Alaska who are getting plenty of hits from guys...aren't the numbers stacked a bit better there? --Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 192 (view)

How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked.... Posted: 1/6/2008 7:54:58 AM
Well, I guess since CountryGirl has taken her departure from this forum, I'll stand in as the New Country Girl (LOL.) And as for being too big to be considered little and cute; I'm not HUGE...just a solid size 14. I'm also in good physical shape because I hike and do yoga...so I'm not exactly a porker. But I am the quintessential example of a few extra pounds. Literally. I am exactly the size and shape that Marilyn Monroe used to be in the 60's at her heaviest. Men had no problem with it then. The funny part is that I'm not (initially) attracted to thin or athletic men. Not to say that I wouldn't date them if they had a spiritual soul...I am just right now subconsciously drawn to a men who look like me (in other words...a few extra pounds...cute face...intelligent...spiritual...over 5'6" would be nice but not a deal-breaker. I do like 'em swarthy and big but I don't demand it.) In other words, I'm seeking the male version of me...but the heavier cute guys are looking for diminutive thin girls. This is a similar story to someone complaining before about a 5'2" woman only considering men who are over 5'11". Isn't it a waste and aren't you severely narrowing down the field? --Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 175 (view)

How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked.... Posted: 1/5/2008 7:46:12 PM
K_Leigh...I've seen your profile, you're beautiful. You're young, keep on truckin'...Interesting thing I noticed, though. When I tried to send you a reply in your profile...I couldn't get through. Do you have a LOT of blocks and filters on your profile? And thanks everyone for the responses--this is some of the most valuable input I've read anywhere on these topics. --Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 174 (view)

How come if you are not A BARBIE you are overlooked.... Posted: 1/5/2008 7:41:57 PM
Thanks, Ex. And I hope you're right about finding the right one. I just have a funny feeling that it's the geographic region. I know my pictures could be better...but still. If it is a geographic thing, it would be good to know. Maybe I'll start a whole new thread on this because I've talked to men in NY and NJ and they said that if you don't have a bankroll that can choke a horse, you're a bit handicapped in the game of love around these parts. Food for thought....difficulties for both genders. --Liz

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 172 (view)

Can someone help me out here? Posted: 1/5/2008 7:24:33 PM
I am listener to these male/female contributers about the "Barbie Doll" issue. It's driving me nuts... O.K. I'm 39, I am sure as hell not ugly nor do I have a boring/mundane profile. I'm lucky if I get a couple of hits a week on this site. I'm a bit on the few extra lbs/voluptuous side, however. That said...I think it has to do with the market. All the average looking women who are getting inundated with replies live all over the country, like Idaho, Kentucky, Virginia, etc. I live in the New York Metro Area and let me tell ya folks, this ain't an easy market. If I depended on this as my only dating strategy, I think I'd die celibate. If you don't look like Heidi Klum and if you're over 30...it's **** hard around here. Any other gals from NY or NJ who can comment? (Not to gripe or complain or anything, but just griping and complaining....)

czillag

Joined: 12/8/2007

Msg: 156 (view)

Do you forewarn the next Victim ? Posted: 1/4/2008 7:14:18 PM
Thank you, thank you, thank you Alexandria Girl. You were spot-on with your comments/observations. I've been down this road and I thought I was too smart for it. But love is no respecter of persons.... Some may believe that women are lacking critical faculties of judgement when dealing with certain types of men, but realize that these guys usually have positive attributes that will attract the women. They are charming, rich, witty, intelligent, creative, handsome, etc. The woman is probably not taken in by his creepiness but she gets seduced by the other qualities. Then the next thing she knows, she's hooked and emotionally enmeshed with some jerk. But all that you say is true: on some level, the woman is aware that he is a *stard but is hoping that he will change. Trying to warn Lady B is probably a waste because LB is probably cognizant of the fact that he is bad news. But she'll give it a shot anyway...hoping. So you probably are wasting your time/breath. Remember, Ladies...love never takes advantage. Handsome is as handsome does....talk is cheap...judge the actions, not the words. Money talks and bullsht walks. In other words, everything Momma ever told you is true. Exercise common sense and good luck! --Liz

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